S09.E09: One Month Down, Never to Go

[Soup333]

6 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I wouldn't call Deonna joyless either. I actually like her. She was having a great time bowling. I think the honeymoons with a total stranger must be one of the most awkward situations imaginable but she had fun. She and Greg joke around. I think they have the most potential of any of the couples on this show.

Deonna never said sex once a month was what she wanted. She never suggested a schedule for them. Greg asked her if she’d be okay with it and she said as long as it was memorable/exceptional. He said he didn’t care how mind blowing it was he would want to have sex more. And she said OKAY. She literally did not say what people are making fun of her for saying. 

I like her more than any bride in any season, although Ashley (Anthony) is a close second. I think the criticism of her is super overblown, except about that skirt/plaid shirt combo and the flannel pjs. That was kinda wild. 

[Ilovepie]

18 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Deonna never said sex once a month was what she wanted. She never suggested a schedule for them. Greg asked her if she’d be okay with it and she said as long as it was memorable/exceptional. He said he didn’t care how mind blowing it was he would want to have sex more. And she said OKAY. She literally did not say what people are making fun of her for saying. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you @Soup333 for getting that conversation correct! I could not figure out why everyone has been blaming her for the every other month sex thing when he was the one who brought it up, not her! 

I like her too, and I like her and Greg together. I personally feel they are the only ones who will stay together, with Iris and Keith having an outside chance depending on when/if Iris is willing to relinquish her virginity.......

[Jassie99]

On 8/9/2019 at 12:10 AM, Ilovepie said:

I really think Iris is delusional about how most men her age view being married to a virgin. I think she thought her new husband would be thrilled and grateful. Instead she’s getting side eye and now realizes that it’s taken more as a burden than a gift. This process was a terrible choice for someone like her. She needed to find another virgin herself or at least someone who would respect her for it. That was never going to happen here.

I don't think Keith doesn't respect her for it but feels pressured by it. It is a barrier for him. She mentioned he doesn't tell her how sexy she is or seems to be turned on by her. I think he doesn't know how to handle it. Would she be okay with him coming on to her in a sexual way? Does she know how to respond? From the show she is freaked out by him using condoms and even talking about sex. It has to be a turn off. That has nothing to do with being a virgin. I know a few women whom waited till their mid 20's to have sex and were def. "sexual" and could discuss sex. I could see if she was 20 or even 23 but 27/28 her reactions to things is shocking. Its not as if she grew up on an Amish compound and has just been released. I also remember when Keith was on unfiltered and Jamie was shocked when he said he didn't want to have sex with Iris at that point in their marriage. I think for him its a huge deal to be her first esp. if this marriage doesn't work out. I really think he doesn't want that responsibility  in which she has regrets that she didn't wait. 

[gonecrackers]

7 hours ago, Jassie99 said:

I think for him its a huge deal to be her first esp. if this marriage doesn't work out. I really think he doesn't want that responsibility  in which she has regrets that she didn't wait. 

Especially with it being filmed for all posterity. 

Unknowingly get matched with a virgin for a teevee show, marry her, find out she's pure off white, risk being the guy to deflower her while their families, friends, co-workers & whoever else watches this show hears all about it, theeeeen, if he figures out there's no future for actual love has to be the bad guy who popped her & left, or, be miserable for life - or at least until everyone forgets about them, which actually shouldn't take too long.

Yeeaaah, he's in a sticky spot that probably isn't too much of a turn on. 🙄

[Neurochick]

18 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I think this show puts people in an impossible situation. If you are serious or an introvert, you are called cold, joyless, uptight, boring, closed off, sometimes accused of being on the spectrum or worse. If you are exuberant or a extrovert, you are over the top, a drama queen, immature, etc. I am just as guilty as everyone else of doing it, but it just seems like a no win situation for these people. Or maybe they deserve it for signing up for this nonsense, but still......

I agree.  If you're serious, you're joyless; if you smile a lot, you're thirsty.  It's a lose-lose situation.

[Ohwell]

Just because you smile a lot, doesn't mean you're thirsty.  Besides, you don't want to have to drink Iris's lemonade. 

[Scout Finch]

On 8/8/2019 at 4:46 AM, humbleopinion said:

Greg is still chewing that octopus tentacle....

Deonna finally appreciating Mr. Greg.....she is still not comfortable that he is so comfortable

Keith went to Jarrods...Fink's

Keith was touched by the LPs

Jamie went to Tiffany...

https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/necklaces-pendants/elsa-peretti-open-heart-pendant-24669661/

Whoa, the price on it is $400. We know he had to have paid full price because Tiffany's isn't going to cut a deal for a mention on a 3rd-rate (10th rate?) TV show. Although, since the logo wasn't shown maybe he did get a deal to not associate Tiffany's with this shit show! But even I know--and I'm not at all into jewelry except for dangly earrings--where the blue bags come from. 

[configdotsys]

19 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I would not call her joyless. Serious, maybe, but not joyless. She has been shown many times having fun with Greg. She had a blast on the boat and zip lining, their apartment party looked fun and she was open to the card game and was enjoying the bowling. I wouldn't call her joyless at all. She has admitted that she has walls up but is working on it, and I would say that it does seem like she is trying. As far as her fashion, I liked her maxi skirt, but didn't think the top went with it. And I would rather see her flannel jams than Elizabeth shaking it in her cropped top and leggings, or having to get familiar with Amber's butt tattoo......

15 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Amen sister. I think Elizabeth's wardrobe choices are the worst of the bunch.

I wouldn't call Deonna joyless either. I actually like her. She was having a great time bowling. I think the honeymoons with a total stranger must be one of the most awkward situations imaginable but she had fun. She and Greg joke around. I think they have the most potential of any of the couples on this show.

Having fun and laughing and stuff is not what I mean by joyless. She has no depth of feeling. I don't see any genuine emotional happiness to her. I don't see her ever having that "OMG I can't wait to see....." feeling about a significant other. She's detached and has fun in the moment when she's winning. If Greg was kicking her ass at bowling and dancing around the lane making comments, I don't think she would have a fun time or fun reaction to that. 

9 hours ago, Soup333 said:

Deonna never said sex once a month was what she wanted. She never suggested a schedule for them. Greg asked her if she’d be okay with it and she said as long as it was memorable/exceptional. He said he didn’t care how mind blowing it was he would want to have sex more. And she said OKAY. She literally did not say what people are making fun of her for saying. 

I like her more than any bride in any season, although Ashley (Anthony) is a close second. I think the criticism of her is super overblown, except about that skirt/plaid shirt combo and the flannel pjs. That was kinda wild. 

9 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Thank you, thank you, thank you @Soup333 for getting that conversation correct! I could not figure out why everyone has been blaming her for the every other month sex thing when he was the one who brought it up, not her! 

I like her too, and I like her and Greg together. I personally feel they are the only ones who will stay together, with Iris and Keith having an outside chance depending on when/if Iris is willing to relinquish her virginity.......

I just played the scene back:

Greg: “So going forward, in order to continue this intimacy, how does that work? do I need to continue to bring my friends over?”

Deonna: “No. I think that you just don’t think. Just be real. Just don’t think. It happens when it  happens and if it happens more or if it happens less, I don't know.

Greg: "If we were to have sex every other month, once every other month, would you be okay with it?"

Deonna: "Yeah, it would just make that one time every other month mind blowing."

Deonna did not say "as long as it's mind blowing" she said that it would be if they only did it every other month, presumably because the length of time between sessions would build tremendously. I see a difference there. I don't think it makes sense for a person to say, "Yes, I would only have sex with you once a month as long as it's mind blowing."

Greg: "I don’t care how mind blowing it is I don’t think I can do that."

Deonna: Okay. [in a clipped tone]

Deonna in TH: "I definitely know that sex is something that Greg likes and that means a lot to him so that is something that we’ll have to figure out together. But at the same time I also want him to like let go, like release a little bit, you gotta live in the moment and when you live in the moment things happen that you can’t explain.

I didn't understand what she was saying at the end there but her perceived need to be understanding that her spouse wants sex on a relatively regular basis and that is something that must be figured out is just odd to me. If she was talking about him wanting to take monthly fishing trips or something, then yeah, I could see having to figure that out.

Then she tells Greg that she does not have a list of things that turn her on. Greg tells her that she doesn’t share her feelings so he doesn’t know how she feels and she gives him another clipped, “Okay," and says nothing more, leaving Greg to wonder what's up. 

I'm not making fun of her or blaming her for anything. She can choose to have sex every day or once a year as far as I'm concerned. She needs to tell her husband where she's at without using baby voices, clipped tones, or silence.

I could be very wrong but I wondered if Deonna wears lumberjack PJs and other unflattering outfits because she does not want to appear sexy in any way because she's totally uncomfortable with that.

[Mazzy]

On 8/7/2019 at 10:25 PM, Sterling said:

He should have joked at the time, saying, "Hey, I'm in there too!" with a big smile, and then yeah, compliment her, but laugh and look at her, and ask her to tell you what she loved about the day, what her memories are. 

This would have been the perfect response. I love that perspective.

 

On 8/7/2019 at 10:31 PM, Empress1 said:

Matt stayed out a full 24 hours without his ring and here Amber is cooking him dinner and getting dolled up in shoes she can't walk in.

I don't remember any real convo about this other than him saying 'oh oops sorry' for being out w/o telling her, but no one seemed to mention the ring thing which I always thought was bizarre (to not mention).

 

On 8/8/2019 at 3:25 AM, AussieBabe said:

I really wonder if Keith did this show because he knew his grandmother was sick and likely wanted to see him get married before she passed away. 

He seems nice, patient, and kind—so far. ... I can’t get a read on why he wanted to do this show. I doubt he has a hard time finding women. ...I’m trying to see if the other shoe will drop and reveal what’s really wrong with him.

I don't want to think something is "wrong" with people for wanting to be arranged-married but I also admit that with all candidates we DO get to see what is keeping them from being successful in love and with Keith it just doesn't make sense. I believe by any hetero woman's standards this man is handsome with a good personality, and he is easily smooth around women. He's a very attractive man in all ways.

 

On 8/8/2019 at 9:52 AM, Neurochick said:

 She's afraid that Greg is too good to be true and that's sad.  IMO a lot of brown skinned black women have been told from very young that they're not pretty enough, not good enough, not feminine, all that shit.  I mean look at all types of media these days.  If a black girl is a love interest, she's either light skinned with straight or curly hair, or if she's dark skinned she's wearing a weave.  Maybe Deonna in some way believes that shit and is just waiting for Greg to tell her she's not good enough. 

I did not know this or 'notice' this in society as a white female, but it makes me very sad and I thank you for making me aware of it. I don't know how to change it but I am happy to have my eyes opened to it. I wonder if there is a connection with the idea of not wanting to lend power to someone? Anything humans covet yields power and that includes beauty. Black women are typically the most oppressed of all American people and to acknowledge the physical beauty would be to lend power.

 

On 8/8/2019 at 11:40 AM, Neurochick said:

I think Matt wants a "wife" but has no idea what that means, and that's why I don't think he should have been chosen for this show.

But hey, you know "drama."

I haven't really thought about it, but that's right - Matt was CHOSEN out of gazillions of candidates to be on this show. How would that make sense; to pick a man who has only ever known employment as an over seas athlete, is now unemployed, and hopes to start a seemingly random car detailing business in hopes of helping to support a family (because I believe they've spoken of eventually wanting kids??)? No one would ever chose him as a potential SUCCESSFUL marriage candidate in an arranged-marriage situation. And then to decide that the only way a mate wouldn't immediately be like 'no thanks' was to choose a woman who is so needy that after one week any split would devastate her world? I love this show but that's pretty warped.


And then finally;

I do think Elizabeth views her whole life as a movie playing in her head and she is both the star and the biggest fan.

I loved that Iris's mom basically told her to get over herself and sleep with her husband. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous and naive for her to claim any man would want a virgin and would want to be the first and only in there. Who would want that, Iris? Who?! Literally no one!

PS - for me it's Iris's baby voice that drives me crazy.

Edited August 10, 2019 by Mazzy

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

I didn't understand what she was saying at the end there but her perceived need to be understanding that her spouse wants sex on a relatively regular basis and that is something that must be figured out is just odd to me. If she was talking about him wanting to take monthly fishing trips or something, then yeah, I could see having to figure that out.

I took that TH to mean she doesn’t want him constantly checking with her on what he should be doing to make her like/love him more. I think she just wants him to go with the flow without all the “how’m I doing????” all the time, and that includes sex. I didn’t get the sense she was super uptight about the frequency, she just didn’t want to quantify it and answered because he asked.

[Ohwell]

I think it's possible that, as nice as Greg appears to be, Deonna isn't interested in him; hence, all the baby-voiced double speak.  Now looks-wise, I'd say they're traveling at the same speed, but I get the sense that Deonna thinks she can do better.  I still say that if he looked like Idris Elba, she'd have dropped her drawers in a nanosecond once they were alone together.

[cinsays]

13 hours ago, Soup333 said:

Deonna never said sex once a month was what she wanted. She never suggested a schedule for them. Greg asked her if she’d be okay with it and she said as long as it was memorable/exceptional. He said he didn’t care how mind blowing it was he would want to have sex more. And she said OKAY. She literally did not say what people are making fun of her for saying. 

Exactly!  She did not say it, she just reacted to Greg asking the question.  Why he posed the 2-month idea seems strange to me, but it did come out of his mouth, not hers.

[Ohwell]

Since Deonna and Greg have already had sex, it just seems strange that they'd be discussing timing scheduling, regardless of who brought it up.  You'd think that since they broke that wall, the sex would just occur naturally from here on out.  That is, unless she didn't like it.  Or maybe this was just for the cameras.  At any rate, the discussion just seemed false.

[SadeO]

On 8/8/2019 at 2:52 PM, Neurochick said:

I don't get Deonna....I take that back, I do get her.  She's just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  She's afraid that Greg is too good to be true and that's sad.  IMO a lot of brown skinned black women have been told from very young that they're not pretty enough, not good enough, not feminine, all that shit.  I mean look at all types of media these days.  If a black girl is a love interest, she's either light skinned with straight or curly hair, or if she's dark skinned she's wearing a weave.  Maybe Deonna in some way believes that shit and is just waiting for Greg to tell her she's not good enough.  

Newbie here! The commentary is hilarious.

Neurochick......I'm a black woman and kind of disturbed at the number of times you felt the need to post your comment about black girls not being love interests on TV. While your statement about love interests being non dark skin with natural hair might be true, I can say that I completely disagree with your statement about it impacting a WHOLE grown woman.

Most non black models look like corpses, and my idea of beauty, along with men of my culture, does not represent the masses, so why would that affect her self esteem? 

I'm a black woman in my late 20's and NEVER in my life has TV ever made me feel like I'm undeserving of a partner in real life. TV beauty ideals are not real life ideals. You really think black women are sulking and scared that they won't be liked because the latest TV show female lead isn't dark skin with curly hair? Lol. WTH? God forbid men have their own minds and tastes, otherwise the only women who would be married are women who look like people on TV. *rolls eyes* My boyfriend, like most black men, loves the typical black girl shape, he doesnt care about my hair. What black woman is watching a show and thinking they can't get a man because of it? Nah boo.

Please lets not make you the spokesperson for all the black people here, because your statement is wild. 

The only vibe I've got and continue to get from her is that she doesnt like Greg. She's not attracted to him. We've all seen her behaviour in girls who are being pursued by a guy who they have put in the friend zone and just about tolerating. Maybe she thinks he's her last chance so shes putting up with him. Somehow people are putting her behaviour down to other things, when it's clear she just that aint into him. 

Greg really likes her and is using this opportunity to test out what he learned in therapy lol. He's literally begging like Keith Sweat for more affection and it's sad to see. I hope Deonna isn't pregnant, because she clearly has issues that needs to work out and isnt really into Greg.

Edited August 10, 2019 by SadeO
Forgot something

[SadeO]

2 hours ago, Ohwell said:

I think it's possible that, as nice as Greg appears to be, Deonna isn't interested in him; hence, all the baby-voiced double speak.  Now looks-wise, I'd say they're traveling at the same speed, but I get the sense that Deonna thinks she can do better.  I still say that if he looked like Idris Elba, she'd have dropped her drawers in a nanosecond once they were alone together.

Thank you. 

I'm not getting all this "she's moving slowly, to be cautious"....erm, shes married....she's just made the quickest move in the history of moves. She's going slowly because she doesn't know if she likes him. The comment she made about seeing him with his friends, was even more telling.

How do you tell someone that you were intimate with them, because you saw how they were with his friends? Thats creepy and I bet Greg's going to have to do random things and jump through hoops just to get approval here and there. smh.

I was thinking that Amber needs an intervention, but seeing her on Unfiltered makes me think she's bounced back from this traumatic experiment quite well. I do hope they divorced because Amber or Matt need therapy more than anything.

[Neurochick]

21 minutes ago, SadeO said:

I'm a black woman in my late 20's and NEVER in my life has TV ever made me feel like I'm undeserving of a partner in real life. TV beauty ideals are not real life ideals. You really think black women are sulking and scared that they won't be liked because the latest TV show female lead isn't dark skin with curly hair? WTH? God forbid men have their own minds and tastes, otherwise the only women who would be married are women who look like people on TV. *rolls eyes* My boyfriend, like most black men, loves the typical black girl shape, he doesnt care about my hair and I've never once felt anyway about it. He's lucky to have ME!

I'm a black woman as well, nearly 60.  It's great that you met a man who isn't colorist, that doesn't mean that colorism isn't real.  Promotion does matter.  I used to think, as you do, that it doesn't matter what is seen on TV and then I got a dose of reality, people are affected by promotion.  That doesn't mean that brown skinned black women will NEVER get married, that's not what I said.  People are affected by promotion.  If promotion didn't matter, companies wouldn't spend billions of dollars on it.

Quote

Please lets not make you the spokesperson for all the black people here, because your statement is wild. 

Okay.

Edited August 10, 2019 by Neurochick

[SadeO]

16 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I'm a black woman as well, nearly 60.  It's great that you met a man who isn't colorist, that doesn't mean that colorism isn't real.  Promotion does matter.  I used to think, as you do, that it doesn't matter what is seen on TV and then I got a dose of reality, people are affected by promotion.  That doesn't mean that brown skinned black women will NEVER get married, that's not what I said.  People are affected by promotion.

I didnt say that colourism isn't real. It is real.

Nowhere did I say that you said brown skinned women won't get married. NOWHERE. You said:

 I mean look at all types of media these days.  If a black girl is a love interest, she's either light skinned with straight or curly hair, or if she's dark skinned she's wearing a weave.  Maybe Deonna in some way believes that shit and is just waiting for Greg to tell her she's not good enough.

In many different ways, MULTIPLE times. I think that it's a ridiculous statement. 

You said that because a certain type of woman isn't shown on TV, that means Deonna is scared Greg will tell her she's not good enough. I'm telling you, that grown women are not watching the Real Housewives of New York, Love and Hip Hop and being scared that their man or any man is not going to like them because we didnt see ourselves on TV. 

Lack of representation is an absolute issue. But Im telling you that is clearly not the case here.  Deonna isn't scared that a man, who is all up under her, has been told to STOP complimenting her, who said he's attracted to her numerous times, and wants to be more intimate with her - doesnt like her because he doesn't regularly see dark skin black women on TV. LMAO. 

This is NOT the case here.  She knows Greg like what he sees. We need to stop throwing such serious issues at situations where its clearly not needed. You're going to have non black people thinking, non black representation on TV affects the way we eat apples.

She doesnt like him. Its as clear as day.

Edited August 10, 2019 by SadeO

[Neurochick]

2 minutes ago, SadeO said:

Lack of representation is an absolute issue. But Im telling you that is clearly not the case here.I dont think Deonna is scared that a man, who is all up under her, has been told to STOP complimenting her, her said he's attracted to her numerous times, and wants to be more intimate with her - doesnt like her. LMAO.

She doesnt like him. 

You may have a point there.  Someone said upthread that if Greg looked like Idris Elba, Deonna would feel differently, that could be true.  Or it could be that she doesn't want certain things about their marriage shown on TV.  

What I said about Deonna is that she COULD be affected by colorism and colorism does affect how you see yourself.  

And it's not just in shows like Love and Hip Hop. Colorism is in all types of places.  

[SadeO]

22 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

You may have a point there.  Someone said upthread that if Greg looked like Idris Elba, Deonna would feel differently, that could be true.  Or it could be that she doesn't want certain things about their marriage shown on TV.  

What I said about Deonna is that she COULD be affected by colorism and colorism does affect how you see yourself.  

And it's not just in shows like Love and Hip Hop. Colorism is in all types of places.  

Why was my last comment deleted?

Let me repeat myself:

I only listed two shows as examples because I'm not going to write an epistle in this forum. Ma'am I'm in my 20's and not 2 years old, so I'm very well aware that colourism happens in many places outside of Love and Hip Hop (lol).

I just think colourism is absolutely not the reason for how Deonna is acting when she, he and WE know Greg would drink her bathwater. She just doesn't like him!

I also said, that the topic of colourism can absolutely be used in other forums on here for other TV shows because black women aren't represented well or properly in the media. We are done a huge disservice and I would be backing you up because your comment about lack of representation is true. It's also something non black people need to know exists too. However its not happening on this show.

Edited August 10, 2019 by SadeO

[Ohwell]

If Deonna is affected by "colorism," I just don't see it because she seems pretty confident in herself to me.  

23 minutes ago, SadeO said:

I just think colourism is absolutely not the reason for how Deonna is acting when she, he and WE know Greg would drink her bathwater. She just doesn't like him!

For his part, I do wish he'd show his roll, relax, and wait for her to come to him (if she ever does).  Just roll over and go to sleep, Greg.  It'll be over soon.  And No More Compliments.   

[SadeO]

1 minute ago, Ohwell said:

If Deonna is affected by "colorism," I just don't see it because she seems pretty confident in herself to me.  

For his part, I do wish he'd show his roll, relax, and wait for her to come to him (if she ever does).  Just roll over and go to sleep, Greg.  It'll be over soon.  And No More Compliments.   

Yeah she seems quite confident in the fact that he likes her.

I also agree, Greg needs to calm down and take another approach. If she does like him and is really taking it slow, perhaps a cool/cold approach will make her change her behaviour towards him? Honestly...I dont know what it's going to take, but no-one should be jumping through hoops.

I feel like everyone on this show should have been dismissed and given the details of an actual therapist instead. None of these people seem like they should be on this show right now. 

[gonecrackers]

I re-watched the Jamie/Liz fight ('cuz I'm really good at finding ways to waste time) & when the subtitles came on it read Jamie as saying, "You're being a materialistic **** ."  - so definitely four asterisks.

Then we all know Liz repeated it & they even blurred her mouth, so I'm sure he said the "c" word.

After that nasty BS she (rightfully) asked Jamie to leave her alone, but he won't even leave the room & go to their own sides.  At this point he's crossed all kinds of lines.

She said, "I don't want you near me right now."  He responds, "Then I'm leaving."  - Because apparently going into another room & leaving her the fuck alone wasn't an option.

She says, "Leave then, I don't care."  (can't blame her at this point)

Jamie's response: "If I leave then the marriage is over."  -Because again, leaving the room is somehow off the table, even though Pepper told him that's what should be done, & his wife is asking him to leave her alone after he called his wife a c--t.

(there's a pause)  Liz: "Okay, bye Jamie."  (I would've added- and please LET the door hit you on the way out)

Jamie, poor kitty in hand, "Bye, have a good life."  (me - good luck, poor kitty)

I've always found Liz to be annoying, self-centered, immature, tacky, & foul in so many ways, but Jamie can go hang with Puke on the douchebags who don't need to be married deserted island.

Of course there could've been a producer crouched down in the room holding cue cards for them the whole time...  but if Jamie was a decent human being he would've said "I'm not calling my wife that no matter what so shove your contract up your ass." 

Anyway...

On Iris & the ring thing - she wants him wearing it all the time so that "they" know. Iris, "they", as in other women, don't care & never have, so forget it if that's your goal.

[Kiss my mutt]

If Greg would just back off a little and not always follow her around like a puppy, Deonna might take more of a role in wooing him if she’s attracted to him and invested enough. I think she is warming up to him and it’s nice to see her appear more relaxed and at home. 

I feel bad for Keith. It’s entirely too much pressure being put in that position. I bet Iris sure was surprised that he wasn’t “wowed” by her virginity. She needs to find a church guy for that. I don’t blame him for not wanting to go “there” with her if he isn’t 100% sure of their relationship and who could be at this point, anyway?

[Soup333]

2 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Since Deonna and Greg have already had sex, it just seems strange that they'd be discussing timing scheduling, regardless of who brought it up.  You'd think that since they broke that wall, the sex would just occur naturally from here on out.  That is, unless she didn't like it.  Or maybe this was just for the cameras.  At any rate, the discussion just seemed false.

This was, quite literally, her point during the conversation when she suggested he just let things happen as they happen. 

I’m not sure why the sex discussion would be out of the ordinary. We’ve seen Beth discussing the frequency she and Jamie have sex and how he would like more of it than they’re having. They talked about it on Unfiltered. Couples have these conversations if their libidos aren’t a match. Doesn’t seem strange to me at all. Especially since they did just meet a few weeks ago. 

Deonna is in a no win situation here. She could actually LOVE Greg (as Dr. Cal suggests) but be reserved and people will read that as her not liking him, not enjoying their sex, etc. 

I do agree with @Neurochick that she might have some thoughts bouncing around in her head about her self-worth. Whether it’s related to her being a black woman, we obviously can’t say. But if she’s had nothing but “situationships” with people for the last ten years it’s easy for me to see how she could be extremely cautious with Greg and unsure if she should invest her feelings in the marriage this soon. 

[Neurochick]

29 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I re-watched the Jamie/Liz fight ('cuz I'm really good at finding ways to waste time) & when the subtitles came on it read Jamie as saying, "You're being a materialistic **** ."  - so definitely four asterisks.

Then we all know Liz repeated it & they even blurred her mouth, so I'm sure he said the "c" word.

After that nasty BS she (rightfully) asked Jamie to leave her alone, but he won't even leave the room & go to their own sides.  At this point he's crossed all kinds of lines.

She said, "I don't want you near me right now."  He responds, "Then I'm leaving."  - Because apparently going into another room & leaving her the fuck alone wasn't an option.

This is correct.  I had a feeling it was the "c" word.  I think Jamie was upset with Beth when she was going on and on about herself while looking at the wedding pictures.  Jamie probably didn't say anything until they got home and by then he was most likely really pissed and he unleashed on Beth, who had no idea where his upset was coming from.    When Beth asked Jamie to leave her alone, she probably wanted him to just go into another room, to give her some space, but Jamie responded by leaving the apartment.  

Both of them need to learn how to communicate their upset.  Neither of them should have been picked for this show.

But you know, drama.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Yeah she seems quite confident in the fact that he likes her.

I think that Deonna is confident that Greg likes her but I don’t think she is confident about it, hence her comments about waiting for the other shoe to drop and that she is afraid if he gets to know all of her sides, he won’t like her anymore. I think she thinks his attraction is tenuous and that frightens her.

[Ohwell]

42 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

But if she’s had nothing but “situationships” with people for the last ten years it’s easy for me to see how she could be extremely cautious with Greg and unsure if she should invest her feelings in the marriage this soon. 

Marriage is about investing your feelings, and if she's unsure about investing her feelings so soon, then she should have stayed single, and certainly not have gone on this show.  She could have gotten therapy to explore why she got into these so-called "situationships."  

[Ohwell]

21 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I think that Deonna is confident that Greg likes her but I don’t think she is confident about it, hence her comments about waiting for the other shoe to drop and that she is afraid if he gets to know all of her sides, he won’t like her anymore. I think she thinks his attraction is tenuous and that frightens her.

But again, then why the hell did she agree to get Married At First Sight? 

I'm sorry, but I'm just tired of excuses being made for grown ass people.

[Soup333]

2 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

But again, then why the hell did she agree to get Married At First Sight? 

I'm sorry, but I'm just tired of excuses being made for grown ass people.

Why would any of them? Every single person who has been on the show has issues, whether we see it or not. None have been perfect. 

Attempting to understand someone’s behavior isn’t making excuses. She’s in the situation now so why not try to figure out why she - or any of them, is acting as they are.  

[Ohwell]

11 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Why would any of them? Every single person who has been on the show has issues, whether we see it or not. None have been perfect. 

Attempting to understand someone’s behavior isn’t making excuses. She’s in the situation now so why not try to figure out why she - or any of them, is acting as they are.  

Of course none have been perfect, and some have more issues than others, just as some are more annoying than others.   Some also seem to be less prepared for what to expect on this show than others.    

[mochamajesty]

We don’t know for sure how Deanna feels about anything, so arguing is pointless.

[SadeO]

18 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

But again, then why the hell did she agree to get Married At First Sight? 

I'm sorry, but I'm just tired of excuses being made for grown ass people.

Same. And it's never gone past me that these people are also lying or not telling the whole truth about their previous relationship history. 

If you're not ready to put your all into an experiment that has you doing something so extreme, what the hell were you thinking coming on this show?

Considering you had the confidence to apply for the show and go through the whole process, there must be some part of your personality that is impulsive. Why is she suddenly now cautious and going slow when youre already married. May as well go all in..but I guess they wont because there is the option of divorce. Should have joined a dating website instead.

Its also how I feel about Iris....you're married now. Why are you still holding on to your virginity as if you'll lose your very being without it. Im scared when she comes on the screen because I'm fearful its going to become something about her virginity. 

I cant even talk about the white couples because they're a hot mess. They've put their all in, as they seem impulsive, confused and messy AF. Both couples are just disasters. Beth and Jamie...pretty sure one of the will end up calling the police at some point in the relationship. 

5 minutes ago, mochamajesty said:

We don’t know for sure how Deanna feels about anything, so arguing is pointless.

Its just my opinion. I'm not trying to sour the mood sis.

Edited August 11, 2019 by SadeO

[Ohwell]

17 minutes ago, mochamajesty said:

We don’t know for sure how Deanna feels about anything, so arguing is pointless.

Well I sure know how I feel about her.

18 minutes ago, SadeO said:

I cant even talk about the white couples because they're a hot mess.

Now this made me crack up.  So true.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

If you're not ready to put your all into an experiment that has you doing something so extreme, what the hell were you thinking coming on this show?

Maybe this is Deonna’s all, or at least her all for the moment. So many of the show’s viewers don’t have faith in the “experts” so isn’t Deonna’s skepticism pretty reasonable? I’m still thinking that Greg is too good to be true so I can completely understand why Deonna may be thinking that and may be reluctant to get her hopes up too high. I think any reasonable person in her situation would be a little cautious.

Whether or not any reasonable person would actually agree to marry a total stranger is maybe a different story...

[lids]

There appears to be 2 types of women who are standoffish to their husbands on this show. There’s the Ashleys (you may call her Mustachly) of Ashley and David. Then there’s the Samanthas of Samantha and Neil. (I would also put Jasmine in the second category.) All these women acted put off by their husbands pretty early on and their criticisms and standoffishness just characterized the whole relationship. But really only Ashley couldn’t stand her husband. Samantha later admitted she was mean to Neil because she was unsure of how to act. Her actions were her taking her insecurities out on him and they had nothing to do with her actual feelings toward Neil. She admitted she actually liked Neil and on decision day she asked to stay with him, but Neil said he just couldn’t get past her caustic behavior. That devastated her.

I think Deonna falls into the second category too. She likes Greg. She has no idea how to comfortably show how much she likes Greg so she pushes him away. All her progress is happening internally. That’s why Greg has to keep asking her, “Do you like this? Would you rather that?” Then she complains that Greg won’t just let things happen. It amuses me that she keeps telling Greg to loosen up because she is clearly projecting. She is one of the most uptight wives to ever appear on the show. If she starts carrying her purse around with her in the house, she will then dethrone Ashley. 

I remembered something that confused me in the episode. When Greg was describing Deonna while talking to her during their monthaversary dinner, he told Deonna she was one of the kindest, most generous people he knows and something about her having a big heart. It was like *record scratch* Why won’t the producers show us ANY of that Deonna??? We didn’t even get to see her gift to Greg! The storyline is off. For all we know they are besties by now. We only get to see them side-eyeing each other.

Edited August 11, 2019 by lids

[Rae Spellman]

4 hours ago, SadeO said:

The comment she made about seeing him with his friends, was even more telling.

How do you tell someone that you were intimate with them, because you saw how they were with his friends? Thats creepy and I bet Greg's going to have to do random things and jump through hoops just to get approval here and there. smh.

Her friend or sister mentioned they weren't use to seeing her with a guy. So, maybe in her situationships most of her time with those guys was one on one time rather than time with their friend circles. Seeing how people interact with others can absolutely make them more or less attractive. 

2 hours ago, Soup333 said:

 I do agree with @Neurochick that she might have some thoughts bouncing around in her head about her self-worth. Whether it’s related to her being a black woman, we obviously can’t say. But if she’s had nothing but “situationships” with people for the last ten years it’s easy for me to see how she could be extremely cautious with Greg and unsure if she should invest her feelings in the marriage this soon. 

Agree. Plenty of guys are Greg-like four weeks into a situationship. She could have a history of guys being very complementary to her and getting to know the real her and deciding they didn't want a real relationship. Or maybe they never wanted a relationship to begin with and she mistook them being complementary to meaning that they did.  

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I think that Deonna is confident that Greg likes her but I don’t think she is confident about it, hence her comments about waiting for the other shoe to drop and that she is afraid if he gets to know all of her sides, he won’t like her anymore. I think she thinks his attraction is tenuous and that frightens her.

This sounds about right. Also, it's early. Even though he mentioned going to therapy, Greg's eagerness seems consistent with what he told us about being controlling in that toxic four year relationship. Even the large house with the great ovens that shows that he's ready to start a family might not be as appealing, or might be overwhelming to a woman who had her own plans and/or wants to take part in selecting the family home with the man with whom she will build a family rather than just being someone who slots into his plan on his vision board now that he's ready. Tangentially, I'm still not sure what I think about Greg's picture-less vision board from one of the earlier episodes.

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, lids said:

I remembered something that confused me in the episode. When Greg was describing Deonna while talking to her during their monthaversary dinner, he told Deonna she was one of the kindest, most generous people he knows and something about her having a big heart. It was like *record scratch* Why won’t the producers show us ANY of that Deonna??? We didn’t even get to see her gift to Greg! The storyline is off. For all we know they are besties by now. We only get to see them side-eyeing each other.

I believe this is the case with a lot of people on the show, particularly if things are going well with the couple - they need something for the audience to talk about, so they'll create a narrative. 

1 hour ago, lids said:

Samantha later admitted she was mean to Neil because she was unsure of how to act. Her actions were her taking her insecurities out on him and they had nothing to do with her actual feelings toward Neil. She admitted she actually liked Neil and on decision day she asked to stay with him, but Neil said he just couldn’t get past her caustic behavior. That devastated her.

Sam was full of shit & doing damage control at that point because she was such an insane bitch to him from the start. He wasn't what she wanted, in looks or personality, & she was nasty AF.  Neil said he needed therapy to get over the abuse he took from her. If anyone deserved to be dumped on her ass on decision day, it was Sam.  Then she had the fucking nerve to go all over SM telling everyone Neil wouldn't forgive her, but really he was keeping his distance from a toxic nutjob. She was one of the worst people ever cast on the show, & that's with some stiff competition.

Edited August 11, 2019 by gonecrackers

[lids]

The show hadn’t even aired when she admitted that she liked Neil and wanted to stay married, so it wasn’t just damage control. It’s not like she was trying to impress the experts.

Yeah, she was a nut job - the obsession with wax melts, her weird relationship with her roommate. I think most people today have mental issues though. When you see it all condensed on a one hour show, it’s jarring. I wouldn’t want to see the ins and outs of my friends’ marriages though because I KNOW they are also crazy. I think these people are all just typically crazy/weird. Except Luke, that was next level!

22 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Sam was full of shit & doing damage control at that point because she was such an insane bitch to him from the start. He wasn't what she wanted, in looks or personality, & she was nasty AF.  Neil said he needed therapy to get over the abuse he took from her. If anyone deserved to be dumped on her ass on decision day, it was Sam.  Then she had the fucking nerve to go all over SM telling everyone Neil wouldn't forgive her, but really he was keeping his distance from a toxic nutjob. She was one of the worst people ever cast on the show, & that's with some stiff competition.

[Jeanne222]

I think Keith and iris have been having sex for a while now!  They smile a lot and they are very loving!  I think he's respecting her by not telling and leaving the telling up to her!

[SnackyCakes14]

I agree with a lot of you that Iris's mom is the best and gave her great advice. I'm not sure how Iris turned out so neurotic and oblivious when it seems like her mom gently holds her accountable for her behavior and tries to show her someone else's perspective instead of enabling her selfish, narrow minded world view (looking at you Beth's dad!)

I think Greg and Deonna are cute together. I like the way they joke and tease each other and it seems like Deonna plays the "straight" man to Greg's goofy side. I thought the conversation a few episodes back where she admitted she was sexually attracted to him, and he asked if they were having sex that night and had stopped listening after the sexually attracted part was really funny and shows they have fun together. I hope she continues to let her guard down and they are able to make it work.

Amber just makes me sad. I don't care what kind of transient lifestyle you've been living, or how you normally do what you want when you want, there was no excuse for Matt to ignore Amber for over 24 hours when he knew she was upset. Between not inviting them to or even telling his family about the wedding and always being very vague about why they rarely speak, it seems like he avoids conflict to the point of also avoiding intimacy. Because he knew she was upset he put off coming home even longer, then was playing dumb to Amber and Dr. Pepper with all his vague excuses. This will only end in heartbreak for Amber, but hopefully she does get some real therapy.

And then there's Jamie and Beth, who are both awful. I definitely think she's self-involved, spoiled and thinks she's quirky and fun instead of annoying, but I have been increasingly uncomfortable with the way Jamie talks to her. Instead of telling her how he feels he just lashes out and says really mean shit. The only really mean low blow I remember her making was the "Caucasian sex" thing. Not to make excuses for her, but she also only said that after apologizing for making him upset when she asked about his parent's divorce; and after she asked if he had less respect for her because she took a job with her dad, where he answered by smugly smiling and making a gesture conveying he did; and after she sadly said, "Dude, you can't say things like that" and he continued to say things like that.

I don't like how he was only holding Dr. Pepper's advice about not leaving over Beth's head, while himself ignoring Dr. Pepper's advice about not throwing around the word divorce and to be kind while expressing themselves. We didn't see the fight start, but I really did not like and was not ok with him barging into the room when she was upset and asking to be left alone. It would have been uncomfortable even if he was barging in to explain himself or apologize, but he was barging in just to call her more names and berate her. For not acknowledging their wedding was about both of them, and focusing on herself in the pictures? Get out of here with that, shit. I would have also said, fine, go, I don't care, and then started packing my stuff in the morning. 

[geej]

On 8/8/2019 at 9:15 PM, Ilovepie said:

My sister has a theory that if a woman is wearing heart jewelry it was purchased for them by a man because women don’t buy heart jewelry for themselves. Anyone care to prove/disprove this? I have to say I do have a couple Tiffany heart pieces but they not super cutesy. The one heart necklace I own did come from my husband on Mother’s Day. I don’t wear it.......😋

I got one from my parents when i was far younger.Having said that,as an adult, i can't imagine anyone but a romantic partner giving a heart necklace. anyone else?)good question pie. May i call you pie? 

[Ilovepie]

1 minute ago, geej said:

May i call you pie? 

Since it’s not my real name, of course! 😂

[Kareem]

6 hours ago, lids said:

There appears to be 2 types of women who are standoffish to their husbands on this show. There’s the Ashleys (you may call her Mustachly) of Ashley and David. Then there’s the Samanthas of Samantha and Neil. (I would also put Jasmine in the second category.) All these women acted put off by their husbands pretty early on and their criticisms and standoffishness just characterized the whole relationship. But really only Ashley couldn’t stand her husband. Samantha later admitted she was mean to Neil because she was unsure of how to act. Her actions were her taking her insecurities out on him and they had nothing to do with her actual feelings toward Neil. She admitted she actually liked Neil and on decision day she asked to stay with him, but Neil said he just couldn’t get past her caustic behavior. That devastated her.

I think Deonna falls into the second category too. She likes Greg. She has no idea how to comfortably show how much she likes Greg so she pushes him away. All her progress is happening internally. That’s why Greg has to keep asking her, “Do you like this? Would you rather that?” Then she complains that Greg won’t just let things happen. It amuses me that she keeps telling Greg to loosen up because she is clearly projecting. She is one of the most uptight wives to ever appear on the show. If she starts carrying her purse around with her in the house, she will then dethrone Ashley. 

...

A thousand likes, Lids. I believe Deonna likes Greg, too and don’t believe she’s a handful just because she’s an introvert, or because she’s taking it slow because the experts are idiots, or because she’s black or that she suddenly woke up one day and realized she was on a show about getting married.  I believe she likes him and doesn’t know how to show it.  

She’s not good at it, she’s not naturally warm and fuzzy and she has zero recent experience in committed relationships.  Greg has spent four weeks like a trained seal trying to get satisfactory reactions from her.  “I’ll zip line!”  “I won’t compliment you unless asked to!” “I’ll go along with matching swim suits!”  “I’ll eat octopus!”  “I’ll dance like a chicken!”, an amazing first month anniversary and whatever else.  Can’t say he’s not trying to please her but she’s a tough nut to crack, because she has no experience and because she’s not wired that way.

I compared her to Jasmine the first week because like Jasmine, she knows what she wants, but they both come off as haughty in their delivery.  The “I Have Everything But a Husband and That’s on My Bucket List” crew, forgetting that they might actually have to get along with another person. Jasmine wanted to stay with Will;  I believe Deonna will want to stay with Greg.  

Greg’s been patient with the frosty one but he must have been surprised when she admitted that he might not like the real Deonna.  Cripes. There’s more?  I hope for her sake that she finds a way to do more than throw him a bone once in a while.  They seem like they might be really good together if she learns to defrost.  

[Soup333]

15 hours ago, SadeO said:

She doesnt like him. Its as clear as day.

This isn’t clear to me. 

12 hours ago, lids said:

I remembered something that confused me in the episode. When Greg was describing Deonna while talking to her during their monthaversary dinner, he told Deonna she was one of the kindest, most generous people he knows and something about her having a big heart. It was like *record scratch* Why won’t the producers show us ANY of that Deonna??? We didn’t even get to see her gift to Greg! The storyline is off. For all we know they are besties by now. We only get to see them side-eyeing each other.

It would be interesting to see something regarding their religion, since that was a huge factor in why they were matched. Are they going to church together? Greg told her in the beginning it was important to him that they did.

Deonna has said several times that Greg is more than the answer to her prayers, so unless she’s blatantly lying about that I would assume she likes him well enough. Unless she’s saying, “He’s the answer to my prayers but I just don’t like him so try again, God.”

[gonecrackers]

12 hours ago, lids said:

The show hadn’t even aired when she admitted that she liked Neil and wanted to stay married, so it wasn’t just damage control. It’s not like she was trying to impress the experts.

She began realizing how she was appearing somewhere into the show, & began respecting him a bit more after the near accident he averted. It startled her into some realization, but, the damage was done. She was terribly wicked beforehand, & there would be no bouncing back from that for me either. He let her go for his own sanity, merciful for him, not so much for her new baby-daddy but that's his problem now.

12 hours ago, lids said:

I think most people today have mental issues though. When you see it all condensed on a one hour show, it’s jarring. I wouldn’t want to see the ins and outs of my friends’ marriages though because I KNOW they are also crazy. I think these people are all just typically crazy/weird. Except Luke, that was next level!

I think so too, but I think Sam was that "next level" as well. A lot of these people on the show are - they've matched people with all kinds of issues, even a known stalker. Anyone who goes on this show to find a forever mate is a nut job to some degree LOL.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

14 hours ago, SnackyCakes14 said:

Jamie and Beth... she's self-involved, spoiled, but I have been increasingly uncomfortable with the way Jamie talks to her. Instead of telling her how he feels he just lashes out and says really mean shit. The only really mean low blow I remember her making was the "Caucasian sex"... she also only said that after apologizing for making him upset when she asked about his parent's divorce; and after she asked if he had less respect for her because she took a job with her dad, where he answered by smugly smiling and making a gesture conveying he did; and after she said, "Dude, you can't say things like that" and he continued to say things like that.

I don't like how he was only holding Dr. Pepper's advice about not leaving over Beth's head, while himself ignoring Dr. Pepper's advice about not throwing around the word divorce and to be kind while expressing themselves. We didn't see the fight start, but I really did not like and was not ok with him barging into the room when she was upset and asking to be left alone. It would have been uncomfortable even if he was barging in to explain himself or apologize, but he was barging in just to call her more names and berate her. For not acknowledging their wedding was about both of them, and focusing on herself in the pictures? Get out of here with that shit. I would have also said, fine, go, I don't care, and then started packing my stuff in the morning. 

Well said, Snackycakes. 

The topic of "Who is worse: Jamie or Elizabeth?" will never be solved here on PRIMETIMER.  A lot of women here seem to think Elizabeth is way worse than Jamie, no matter what.  [Maybe it's because they don't like the color of her hair or the sound of her voice or the language she uses or the way she dances (shudder!)  Maybe it's the clothes she wears or her risque nighties. Maybe it's because she never got a boob job to make her girls "perky" instead of saggy. Or maybe it's simply because she's messy.]

Maybe they feel like a woman telling her man he's boring in bed is the worst possible thing ever, much worse than than a man who thinks before he speaks, but nonetheless insults and belittles his wife because she's supposedly working for her father -and he does that over and over, long after she's apologized for what she said that angered him originally, and even after she had (tearfully) asked him to leave the room and just let her be alone for a while. 

Most people commenting here seem to feel that Elizabeth telling Jamie he's boring in bed is worse than Jamie calling her a c*nt.  

But it really doesn't matter what any of us think about who hurt whom the most with all those insults, or which of them is most at fault. What really matters is that these two people should never have been paired together as a couple, and the sooner they get away from each other, the better!!  

Edited August 11, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[configdotsys]

11 hours ago, SnackyCakes14 said:

And then there's Jamie and Beth, who are both awful. I definitely think she's self-involved, spoiled and thinks she's quirky and fun instead of annoying, but I have been increasingly uncomfortable with the way Jamie talks to her. Instead of telling her how he feels he just lashes out and says really mean shit. The only really mean low blow I remember her making was the "Caucasian sex" thing. Not to make excuses for her, but she also only said that after apologizing for making him upset when she asked about his parent's divorce; and after she asked if he had less respect for her because she took a job with her dad, where he answered by smugly smiling and making a gesture conveying he did; and after she sadly said, "Dude, you can't say things like that" and he continued to say things like that.

From the beginning, Jamie has struck me as an arrogant prick. Elizabeth's quirks and weirdness and sloppiness are things he likely looks down on but says nothing because of the abundance of sexy time. I think she drives him internally insane so when it comes out, it's all guns blazing. These two are clearly not a match. I'm not a neat freak and have some clutter in my home, but throwing dirty clothing in piles on the floor is something I would never tolerate from a grown up and would not view paying a housekeeper as "fixing" that. That's a huge problem right there. It's piggish and likely extends to other piggish behavior in other areas. Bleh.

One look at Jamie's home and you know right away that he will never adjust to this without it driving him batshit. That held back anger is what unleashes when he reaches a boiling point. I also think that he believes that he was sold a bill of goods here. He was paired with an "account exec" but that wound up being horse crap. He seems very career driven and appalled at the idea that his wife never finished college and gets by on handouts from daddy. He probably is embarrassed that his friends and colleagues are seeing this. The basic caucasian sex is what keeps him there. For now.

[Ohwell]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Anyone who goes on this show to find a forever mate is a nut job to some degree LOL.

I certainly agree with that! 😃

[Ohwell]

17 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

One look at Jamie's home and you know right away that he will never adjust to this without it driving him batshit. That held back anger is what unleashes when he reaches a boiling point. I also think that he believes that he was sold a bill of goods here. He was paired with an "account exec" but that wound up being horse crap. He seems very career driven and appalled at the idea that his wife never finished college and gets by on handouts from daddy. He probably is embarrassed that his friends and colleagues are seeing this. The basic caucasian sex is what keeps him there. For now.

I still think he wants to stuff her in a wall.  

[Gigi G3]

I was waiting for Jamie and Beth to get physical. That fight was scary.