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The Brown Kids


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On 10/31/2021 at 12:01 PM, Adiba said:

I think Robyn doesn’t want her daughters to live in a dorm because they might lose their “cookies” before they are married.

Very astute. My mom was 15 weeks pregnant when she married my daddy in 1959. Her shame. At 16, I had an admirer from my 1st job, hot cute blonde kid, 17yo. A day after my mom met him, she had me in the stirrups at Planned Parenthood. So I could be on bc pills. The pelvic exam stole my cookie. Hot boy and I dated, but never did the deed. 

My mom's shame and fear  spilled over to both me and my sissy.

 

 

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Re: Robyn, her college age kids, and people believing she doesn't want her daughters in dorms due to cookie stealing, etc...

I was under the impression that most colleges are going to require a freshman to live in the dorms. My niece had to, even though her parents live only 20 minutes away and my brother is a professor at that college. Do some places not do this anymore? Seems like for their first year, Robyn can't keep them home even if she wants to.

Also, it seems like this is always laid on Robyn's doorstep, like she's "keeping" them at home in some way. I don't necessarily agree with everything Robyn does as a mom either, but if those kids wanted to leave at age 18, they could. To go to college, or to join the circus. She can't stop them.

Seems much more likely to me that Robyn's kids WANT to live at home.

A lot of young adults aren't ready to leave home the minute they turn 18. It's a confusing time, when suddenly everyone expects you to know what you want to do "for the rest of your life" when only one year ago you were carefree and enjoying yourself in high school. 

It's nice to have a "safe place to land", as my mom called it. 

In this instance, I have to say I prefer the way Robyn's approaching this to the way Christine boots them out immediately after turning 18. Not all 18 year olds are ready for this.

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26 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

Re: Robyn, her college age kids, and people believing she doesn't want her daughters in dorms due to cookie stealing, etc...

I was under the impression that most colleges are going to require a freshman to live in the dorms. My niece had to, even though her parents live only 20 minutes away and my brother is a professor at that college. Do some places not do this anymore? Seems like for their first year, Robyn can't keep them home even if she wants to.

Also, it seems like this is always laid on Robyn's doorstep, like she's "keeping" them at home in some way. I don't necessarily agree with everything Robyn does as a mom either, but if those kids wanted to leave at age 18, they could. To go to college, or to join the circus. She can't stop them.

Seems much more likely to me that Robyn's kids WANT to live at home.

A lot of young adults aren't ready to leave home the minute they turn 18. It's a confusing time, when suddenly everyone expects you to know what you want to do "for the rest of your life" when only one year ago you were carefree and enjoying yourself in high school. 

It's nice to have a "safe place to land", as my mom called it. 

In this instance, I have to say I prefer the way Robyn's approaching this to the way Christine boots them out immediately after turning 18. Not all 18 year olds are ready for this.

I happen to agree with you regarding Christine, and that all kids aren’t necessarily ready to move out at 18.

Robyn, however, can strongly influence her daughters’ decisions by withholding the financial means to live at college—it may be difficult for them to get financial aid if their parents live in a million dollar house? Also, they may be influenced by her disapproval. I had a neighbor who said she didn’t live away at college because her parents believed that only “bad girls” lived in dorms.

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They're both fairly bad approaches IMO.  I do think after high school graduation or especially if they drop out that kids should be required to do something whether it's work or some kind of school isn't as important as not being leeches.  However, I don't think it's fair to either keep them home or shove them out the door.  I encouraged all of mine to go away to college.  However, I had one who had good reasons to want to stay home the first few years of college.  

Some schools require freshmen to live in dorms, some require freshmen to live at home or with a parent or in dorms, and some don't have a requirement.  

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5 minutes ago, Adiba said:

Robyn, however, can strongly influence her daughters’ decisions by withholding the financial means to live at college—it may be difficult for them to get financial aid if their parents live in a million dollar house? Also, they may be influenced by her disapproval. I had a neighbor who said she didn’t live away at college because her parents believed that only “bad girls” lived in dorms.

Robyn can do all those things and more, but we don't know that she is. My point was that it's also likely that her kids just want to live with her.

5 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I do think after high school graduation or especially if they drop out that kids should be required to do something whether it's work or some kind of school isn't as important as not being leeches.

That's how the "safe place to land" worked in my house. If you didn't want to go to college, you were welcome to live at home...provided you got a job, paid rent (granted, it was a very good price!), did your own laundry, did household chores...etc. You weren't going to lay around, unemployed, expecting Mom to be your maid. Welcoming and loving, but not cushy. If you lived at home while going to school, rent was lifted and more help offered, to encourage us to make the choice to get an education.

This is the part where I think Robyn could do better. I would bet she's not drawing a hard line on "if you're not in school, have a job", etc. Just a guess.

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For whatever her reason, I don't think Robyn is interested or capable of growing adults.  Perhaps it's both she doesn't know how and she has no interest in learning how to teach her kids how to grow up and succeed on their own.  Maybe having them all dependent on her fulfills an emotional need for Robyn.  Whatever it is, it's a disservice to her kids.

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1 minute ago, Absolom said:

For whatever her reason, I don't think Robyn is interested or capable of growing adults.  Perhaps it's both she doesn't know how and she has no interest in learning how to teach her kids how to grow up and succeed on their own.  Maybe having them all dependent on her fulfills an emotional need for Robyn.  Whatever it is, it's a disservice to her kids.

This is very possible. I do think she tends to coddle.

I'm not quite ready to say too much about how her adult kids have turned out though, because her adult kids are barely adults yet...and Dayton has some special needs. I can't get much of a feel from just what I see on the show of how Dayton really is (as far as independence and stuff goes). He's not in a lot of episodes. I feel like I have very little evidence to even make a guess on him. Maybe other viewers have a better handle on Autism and can determine how independent he could be, versus how independent he actually is, but for me, I can't tell from the show how many problems the poor kid has. And with Aurora...she turned 18 so recently that I feel I can't make an educated guess on how she'll do as an adult.

Honestly, my fears for Aurora are much larger than things like college, jobs, and independence. I worry she will become a plural wife. Kind of an unfounded fear, they don't show Kody or Robyn pushing this on the show, but then, they wouldn't allow that to be filmed, would they. For now, I'm just happy she appears to be getting any kind of education and hasn't been married off to a 50 year old. 

Robyn has turned plural marriage into a gold mine. Even if she didn't mean to, she's accidentally shown her daughters that plural marriage results in you being the pampered favorite who gets a mansion and all of your husband's attention. I worry they have a skewed view of polygamy. How could they not.

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Dayton is 21 and should be doing something with his life.  He was shown as going to regular classes in school and going on a post-high school trip by himself.  Overall he seems high enough functioning to get some education and hold a job.  He seems capable of living on his own.  

Aurora is 19 1/2 and should have a year and a half almost of something behind her.  

Perhaps we'll learn something in the new season.  Perhaps it's the lack of social media, but it seems the kids of the other mothers all displayed more ambition and independence.

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I'm not fond of Robyn so I tend to think she's not cutting those apron strings. IMO, Robyn and Meri are cut from the same cloth and like to control everything.

For all we know, the kids feel they have to live in the house because of all the bullshit they went through when Robyn and Kody were house hunting. Didn't Robyn pull a Meri and say she needed eleventy bedrooms?

I worked with both kids and adults with autism years ago. Dayton appears high functioning to me, but there's really no way to know what kind of support he needs, without seeing more of him.

And Aurora does have anxiety which can be quite disabling, but again there's no way to know how severe the anxiety is.

Either way the older two kids need some type a plan to become independent adults, which I hope for their sake is already in place.

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Quote

Dayton is 21 and should be doing something with his life.  He was shown as going to regular classes in school and going on a post-high school trip by himself.  Overall he seems high enough functioning to get some education and hold a job.  He seems capable of living on his own.  

I can't say it better than:

Quote

Dayton appears high functioning to me, but there's really no way to know what kind of support he needs, without seeing more of him.

I've seen the post-high school trip offered as evidence of Dayton's ability to live more independently and I don't agree with that line of reasoning. I've known young adults on the spectrum and some were able to do those sorts of things; others not. And some could do them with a lot of preparation, support and coaching. A friend of mine has a young adult daughter on the spectrum and she is able to hold a job and make some adult decisions but she doesn't cope very well when things go off plan or schedule. She relies heavily on a careful routine to be able to function as well as she does and she lives with her parents (and probably will for the foreseeable future) because as we all know, independent adulting involves a lot of off-script events that aren't anticipated. Her parents also have power of attorney over her financials, because she can be very susceptible to deception and over her medical decisions, because she can struggle with complex decisions, especially under stress. They talked with her about all of this before she turned 18 and she was fully onboard with it.

I'm not saying that any of this is Dayton but I do think it's possible that his challenges are underplayed on the show and there is good reason that he still lives with his parents and relies on them for as much as he does. 

 

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5 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm not saying that any of this is Dayton but I do think it's possible that his challenges are underplayed on the show and there is good reason that he still lives with his parents and relies on them for as much as he does. 

Thanks for the whole post and all the autism info for those of us who have not dealt with it in our own lives.

About the quoted part specifically, possibly underplaying it on the show...I think that could very well be true, and good for whoever decided that we as viewers don't deserve to know every detail of that.

Dayton didn't decide to be on a reality show, his parents did. 

We are nice on this board, but the internet as whole can be a rude and ugly place at times. Dayton's privacy is more important than my curiosity as a viewer.

 

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1 hour ago, LilyD said:

I’m rewatching the final two episodes of the previous season, whilst folding three baskets of laundry (perfect background tv by the way)

Hunter comes home and has a picknick in the woods with his mothers and Kody. When Kody walked in, Hunter barely acknowledged him. He just sat there in his chair and hardly lifted his head, just glancing sideways. He desperately wanted to meet everyone (well…his siblings) and was flat out told NO by Kody.

That broke my heart! I’m in a military family and the time we do get to spend together is precious. Hunter had been away for quite some time and knew he would be gone for another long time soon. I won’t even mention deployment just yet. Yes, there is Covid and Hunter knows that too (he even took the trouble of testing himself when they met!) But what struck me so hard was kody, you’re not even trying to come up with an idea! He could at least have made an effort to come up with a suggestion on how to meet everyone safely!! (He even said,”I am the only one who safely gets to travel between houses”) And that made me furious!

Even this year, when the US formally withdrew from Afghanistan, soldiers were killed in those final weeks…. Kody…. Next time you turn your back on Hunter, please realize that it could be the last time you ever do so….. so for God’s sake, try harder next time you see him! 
Sorry for ranting guys! I do acknowledge the dangers of Covid, I really do. But I am also a military wife. If you have to build a (temporary) bubble to see your beloved, just build the damn bubble!! You owe it to them! I’m stopping as I get carried away again….. once again sorry…

I agree. Due to the dynamics of our family we also found staying safe difficult, particularly in the beginning, but we scrambled to figure things out. Because one of our adult kids has two public facing jobs and three family members have health issues, initially we did everything outdoors. Anticipating the holidays and cold New England weather, we had Thanksgiving early and outdoors. For Christmas we masked up for our gathering in our house, with windows open (brrr) and air filters humming in the background. Instead of unmasking to eat we decided on doggy bags, set a time and ate together by Zoom.

Now that we're all vaccinated, a couple of us boosted too, we're are more relaxed, but still cautious. This year we'll celebrate the holidays indoors and unmasked, but we'll do rapid tests the morning of, still have a window or two cracked (still brrr) and the air filters going. The risks are still here, though minimum and we're all okay with them. My long winded point is, managing covid cautiously is doable.

After the initial panic of covid calmed down, Kody seemed to settle in and use the pandemic as an excuse to live a simpler life. His simpler life was Robyn. And I don't care if you're a wife or an adult child that understood covid, Kody's choices understandably hurt many feelings.

Also, the fact that Kody refers to his kids as "Janelle's kids" or "Christine's kids" is telling. No Kody, they're your kids. Every kid matters and depending on the circumstances, like Ysabel and Hunter, they need different priority status and accommodations, just like Solomon.

Like I mentioned in a different post, it was pretty early on in the series when my dislike for Kody started, but that was about his general personality. As time has revealed, he's a shitty husband and an asshole of a father. 

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Thanks GeeGolly, I like your thinking and that's what I meant. Try to make it work within the guidelines and safety precautions. A lot of things can be done but you have to make an effort. I particularly despised Kody for not trying.

And yes, I did notice how he referred to the kids as Janelle's kids or Christine's kids. Thought you were 1 happy family?? Also, from the moment Robyn came along, it was always Kody babysitting her kids (and Aspyn and Logan doing the rest), Kody going with her kids, Kody talking about her kids, upto a point where he chose her kids over his own during the graduation parade. In a way, I admire how he treats them as his own and doesn't want to exclude them, but he does so at the cost of completely excluding his others. Well, at least on the show. I hope, probably for the better, that he is doing a better job when the cameras are not there!

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43 minutes ago, LilyD said:

I was just looking at the names. Of all 18 kids, only Gabriël and Savanah seem to have 1 birth name. All the others have a double name / two birth names. Why would that be? 

 Gabe and Savanah were numbers 5 and 6 for Janelle.  She couldn't think of more than one name for them and Kody wasn't around to make suggestions.  If she had pre-cognition, she would have earned points from Kody by giving Savanah the middle name of Robyn.

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31 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

 Gabe and Savanah were numbers 5 and 6 for Janelle.  She couldn't think of more than one name for them and Kody wasn't around to make suggestions.  If she had pre-cognition, she would have earned points from Kody by giving Savanah the middle name of Robyn.

I didn't know about those two not having middle names.  Do any of the boys have Kody as a middle name, besides his highness King Sol?  Gabriel could have had Kody as a middle, although knowing how Gabriel resents his sperm donor, he'd probably hate that.  

Naming kids isn't strenuous exercise, Janelle.  

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1 hour ago, deirdra said:

Only King Sol has Kody as a middle name (and Evie has "Kodi"). 

Gwendlyn has no middle name either. 

If Gabe did have Kody as a middle name, he could have had the pleasure of getting his name legally changed to remove it, print the document, frame it and hang it up in a prominent place in his home!

It’s Gwendlyn Genielle

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2 hours ago, deirdra said:

Only King Sol has Kody as a middle name (and Evie has "Kodi"). 

Gwendlyn has no middle name either. 

If Gabe did have Kody as a middle name, he could have had the pleasure of getting his name legally changed to remove it, print the document, frame it and hang it up in a prominent place in his home!

I think that would have been brilliant.  

Remember a season or two ago, when Kootie didn't even know Gabe was taking college classes in high school so he could graduate early?  And Kootie said something like, he himself was a bonehead, and he had smart kids?

He got that right.  His kids are smart, and some of them see right through his bullshit.  Gabe definitely knows who runs the show, and it ain't daddy dearest.

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8 hours ago, Sandy W said:

My guess would be that she is enjoying the benefits of the insurance carried by the driver of the car that hit her.

I have difficulty interpreting what she means by "docs" being messed up...doctors? documents?....

Kody & one of her brothers should have learned the value of car insurance an even harder way - when they were in a car collision.  

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As a self-employed person, I can say that times are very, very challenging for businesses at the moment. I think Garrison is wise in temporarily shutting down his business and focus on a grand re-opening when times are better.

Work out your business plan, focus on what you need to make it work, so that you’re ready when the time comes. In the meantime, find a job that generates a solid monthly income and start saving (which he does according to Janelle)

I’m liking this kid more and more every day!😀

 

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So, regarding Garrison and Gabe…(sorry, I can’t really let the subject go)

Kody keeps ranting about them ignoring the rules and the boys having a bigger social life than he thought and pose a risk to everyone. However, as far as I’m aware, they are not doing anything that warrants this accusation. Yes, they both see their girlfriends (limit social contact remember? No one said anything about breaking up with loved ones) and that’s absolutely fine. And they’re both working. Neither thing qualifies as breaking the rules. It’s what millions do. We don’t all have the luxury to not work, lock the door and ride out the pandemic with a loved one next to us like Kody.  
Kody seems to imply that his sons behave like irresponsible party animals but that’s a thing I haven’t seen from any of them. Though I must agree with a few out here that Gabe should occasionally shut his ‘smart’ mouth!
 

 

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17 hours ago, LilyD said:

So, regarding Garrison and Gabe…(sorry, I can’t really let the subject go)

Kody keeps ranting about them ignoring the rules and the boys having a bigger social life than he thought and pose a risk to everyone. However, as far as I’m aware, they are not doing anything that warrants this accusation. Yes, they both see their girlfriends (limit social contact remember? No one said anything about breaking up with loved ones) and that’s absolutely fine. And they’re both working. Neither thing qualifies as breaking the rules. It’s what millions do. We don’t all have the luxury to not work, lock the door and ride out the pandemic with a loved one next to us like Kody.  
Kody seems to imply that his sons behave like irresponsible party animals but that’s a thing I haven’t seen from any of them. Though I must agree with a few out here that Gabe should occasionally shut his ‘smart’ mouth!
 

 

There was someone who posted a while back from NAU (or whatever Gabe's college is). They said that parties were all over the place during the pandemic. College students didn't stop being college students in the majority of cases so Gabe likely was out with plenty of people. As for Garrison, who knows. But that age group - generally speaking - was not following many guidelines which included masking and social distancing - by Sept 2020. My college student children were the same way. They followed rules when in class - but other than that - peer pressure took over. They weren't outwardly denying COVID - they understood that their behavior affected other people - the public. But they did it anyway. It was really hard. Our local university ended up sending everyone back home because of all the cluster outbreaks.  In that respect I understand Kody's frustration. As a parent who lived with the risk my sons brought to me each day - I get his concern. Kody's an ass. But I get it. Those were tough times. Still, parents don't have the luxury to just "stay away" -  I don't understand that decision at all. He could have worked out some quarantining/frequent testing/temporary/rotating something or other schedule.

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OK, I am really a Clueless Old Lady,  and I don't do Social Media, but is there a joke here that I don't get? Or is Michelle just being "funny" with calling the Browns jolly assholes? But to me "asshole" is a derogatory term? It just seems a tad insulting to me and as a COL, I guess I just prefer less vulgar language.  And also more clarity! But I guess Social media is more about shock value than dignity.  Edited to add, the pictures are nice but they don't make her meaning any clearer to me. 

Edited by Liddy52
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1 hour ago, Liddy52 said:

OK, I am really a Clueless Old Lady,  and I don't do Social Media, but is there a joke here that I don't get? Or is Michelle just being "funny" with calling the Browns jolly assholes? But to me "asshole" is a derogatory term? It just seems a tad insulting to me and as a COL, I guess I just prefer less vulgar language.  And also more clarity! But I guess Social media is more about shock value than dignity.  Edited to add, the pictures are nice but they don't make her meaning any clearer to me. 

It’s a quote from the movie, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

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Quote from the latest episode re Kody and Gabe.

"Gabe is the smartest person he (I?) knows and he reads medical journals to find out how safe our environment is with Covid and he is constantly pushing this on me saying no dad this is stupid, this is how it works. And I'm like, jeez you're not trained to read those medical journals..."

First: I'm not sure if Kody was slipping up with " the smartest person he knows" or whether it was an intentional jab at his son. But I merely quoted this bit from Kody to show that "say whatever you want about Gabe, and yes, feel free to disagree, but unlike Kody he seems to use proper sources to discuss some of Kody's stupid rules."  

Now, I'm not saying Gabe is fully right and Kody is fully wrong. I'm quite sure that Gabe interprets some of his rules to fit his needs, just like Kody does with his. But Gabe seems genuinely interested and knows where to look. What annoys me about Kody, is that Gabe apparently is one of the smartest Brown Kids. Kody said so himself. And all of a sudden, Kody deems him too stupid to understand and read journals? And unlike Kody states: Medical journals can be read and understood by 'common' people who are blessed with some intelligence (aka not Kody) as long as you make sure you look up specific medical terms and are careful to not start diagnosing yourself and others. (Before I switched college to teaching, I briefly studied nursing and we were required to use medical reports and journals from day 1 without any proper background knowledge. Trust me, you can!)

I guess it again shows how Kody refuses to accept any advice from anybody and simply refuses to listen even, definitely not his own sons who are of course still far beneath him......Added: From the scenes, it's obvious it's some time in fall. By that time, we had managed to figure out which rules were useful and needed to be followed and which were not (like contamination through objects so no need to wiping mail and changing clothes)

Edited by LilyD
added timeline --> fall
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No, I can't remember having heard anything ever that implied she was. I highly doubt she was officially diagnosed since that costs a fair some of money and the Browns hate spending money on anything that is medically or psychologically related. So, I'm guessing it's a self-diagnosis. Fairly recent research into ASD implies that all of us are somewhere on the spectrum. In other words; everyone has a few characteristics but people who are diagnosed have quite a few characteristics and probably suffer from it. 

As for Gwen; she is a bit quirky, incredibly headstrong and once she has formed an opinion, she seems incapable of changing it (just to name a few things) It wouldn't surprise me if she is somewhere further on the spectrum but that's hard to say from the few bits we see of her on tv. (And I should probably add that she seems fond at labelling herself. We know she calls herself a raging bi-sexual and there was some other psychological thing as well though I can't remember what it was)

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On 11/26/2021 at 9:48 PM, deirdra said:

Now that she can drive, she can follow the family tradition of getting their "me" time driving around alone in the car taking selfies.

 

On 11/26/2021 at 10:07 PM, Gramto6 said:

She is a beautiful girl and those are some really sultry photos.

When I was 16/17 years old, I loved to take drives for "alone time". It was therapeutic. I agree Savannah is beautiful, and lots of people enjoy taking photos. If it brings her joy, thats a good thing. Its a pretty common hobby especially for kids of her generation. Her eyes do look very thoughtful in those photos. 

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