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David T. Cole
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Tara made the right choice about The OA - I kept going because I was caught up in wanting plot-answers, but the ending was absolutely infuriating. See Alan Sepinwall's spoilery review for some cringe-making gifs: http://uproxx.com/sepinwall/the-oa-netflix-spoiler-recap-review/

For a time-travel-done-right show, check out Continuum - it's all about working out the rules, and the writers have clearly planned and thought about it intensely.

And you guys clearly don't live in areas with lots of Greek people, or you would know plenty of Effies.

Edited by helent
bad writing
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Top Chef: I mean, I get it, but... like, the second episode of season one had a "cater the party" challenge in a fetish store. Also, even without the myriad of shitty spinoffs, it's season fourteen. I feel like if they haven't learned how to appropriately use local culture to make challenges by now, they're not going to.

Crackpot: See also: not airing Bachelor seasons in which there is no marriage proposal, Survivor seasons in which the losing contestants are not fed to pirates/cannibals/zombies/etc (delete as appropriate based on season theme), Big Brother seasons in which the hate exceeds two minutes, and so forth.

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10 hours ago, SnideAsides said:

Survivor seasons in which the losing contestants are not fed to pirates/cannibals/zombies/etc (delete as appropriate based on season theme),

That reminds me of a British show called (IIRC) "Really Alive" that was inspired by the Andean Plane crash of 1972, where the 16 survivors (out of a total initial compliment of 72) made it out alive by eating the dead. It was false advertising however: despite the title, they didn't kill & eat whichever Z-list celebrity was voted off - that I might have watched!

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Tony Soprano, because:

1) James Gandolfini was great at playing a character who was outwardly friendly but inwardly planning on killing someone, which is how I imagine most mall Santas feel all the time

2) Geographically appropriate

3) Silvio and Paulie as helper elves

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Helena from Orphan Black, because she's surprisingly great with kids, it'll keep her out of Alison's hair while she prepares her no-doubt spectacularly elaborate holiday decor, and if anything goes down at the mall, she can take 'em down easily, no doubt spouting some action-movie one-liner about her "naughty list".

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This got me thinking: How would we get Hawkeye Pierce back on TV today? If it's been 30-something years since M*A*S*H signed off, then it's been 30-something years since the end of the Korean War in Hawkeye Time. Which means it's somewhere in the 1980s. Which means.... he could be on This Is Us, in one of the Pearson family flashbacks! Maybe the family goes to Maine on a vacation, ends up in Crab Apple Cove (Hawkeye's hometown), and Jack takes ill in a bit of foreshadowing to his eventual demise that we know won't actually happen until at least the 90s. So they go to the doctor, the only doc in town, Dr. Ben "Hawkeye" Pierce, a kindly old man, the kind who should be retired but he's still going strong. He's delivered all the babies in town over the years. He tells corny jokes with a twinkle in his eye. He doesn't like to talk about the war... except that he always does, especially when he's teaching someone a lesson about life. Which is what he does, of course, for the visiting Pearson family.

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DCI John Luther from Luther closet would be mine. Despite living in squalor for the series, he must have kept his cloths from prior to his breakdown.

p03bc4wr.jpg

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My Alan Alda project would be for him to be in the next season of Fargo. Granted this idea struck me because of confusing who's son Adam Arkin (from season 2 of Fargo) was, but I still think Alda would be great as a member of the criminal enterprise that was pretty much wiped out in the first season by Lorne Malvo, having to rebuild the Kansas City Mafia. He could be the older Hamish Broker (Arkin).

 

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Just a point to Sarah for the Sopranos-in-Grimsby -- as she clearly has an affection for that city name, I feel the need to let her know that there's plenty of mob activity in neighbouring Hamilton, ON, which I have always thought had a lot in common with Jersey. I mean, it's a city, not a state, but it's unexpectedly pretty in places and everything thinks we're just a crazy industrial city on fire, because all they ever see is the steel plants as they go past on the Skyway Bridge, heading for Niagara.

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Move Beverly Hills 90210 a few thousand miles North East and make Halton Hills, 9-Ontario (OK, I have no idea how Canadian post/zip codes work, but you can probably fudge some sort of copy). Probably less hanging out at the beach and more hanging out at the mall, though they could visit Niagara Falls for  change of scenery (and yes, I had to Google all that information about Halton, but it could work!).

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Oh my gosh did I ever love this mini. I want all things to be Canadianised. It made me think of one of Tara's comments from the Family Ties Canon submission not that long ago -- along the lines of, "Believe me, you never have to tell a Canadian if a celebrity is Canadian. WE KNOW."

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5 hours ago, Narla said:

Just a point to Sarah for the Sopranos-in-Grimsby -- as she clearly has an affection for that city name, I feel the need to let her know that there's plenty of mob activity in neighbouring Hamilton, ON...

Grimsby is the mafia waypoint between Hamilton and Niagara Falls.

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Aw, this made me sad...

If forced, I would house my shithead cat Theo with Sherlock on Elementary. Theo's mostly lovely but he woke me up several times last night, and Sherlock seems to barely sleep, so they seem like a good fit.

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