S23.E09: Week 9

[Ms Blue Jay]

25 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Dad's visit to Cassie reminded  me of when Becca's meathead ex- boyfriend came to visit her in whatever country that was to "win her back."

Memmmmmmmooooorrriiiiiiiess..... of Becca's hotass meathead exboyffriiiiiiiiiiiennnnnnd...

23 minutes ago, FlyingEgret said:

I don't know.  I don't know.  I just wish I knew...

I'M SO CONFLICTED.

THIS IS SO HARD.  

(flips hair) . (blinks prettily)

Edited March 5, 2019 by Ms Blue Jay

[Armchair Critic]

I knew they would wait until the last minute for the infamous jump. Now he feels like it's over since she left.

[JD5166]

I fell like I am watching a soap opera...the hair in her face hugging longing look into the camera. Suddenly I hate Cassie, why did you go on this show? Idiot. 

[dizzyd]

Ok so this was all scripted right, to make it the most dramatic ever?!?!

[saber5055]

My vote: Cassie comes back for the final show and they get engaged. This is all scripted for her. Bet my paycheck on it! They didn't bring pops over there for nothing.

[Ms Blue Jay]

24 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Cassie is a naturally pretty girl

I'm going to take issue with naturally.  She's so shiny I feel like she got Botox already

[Armchair Critic]

Run Forrest Run!

[Mabinogia]

I wonder, is this supposed to be all tragic and romantic? Are we meant to be rooting for these two to make it? It feels like the end of a movie, where he's going to go running after her and stop the car and they will fall into each others arms and he will lose his virginity to the woman he loves and we're all supposed to be cheering them on and get all misty eyed about it all. 

If so, they need to hire new writers cause it's not working. At all. 

Here comes the fence!!!!!!

OMG they just called for Chris. This is it!!!!

[scenicbyway]

Jump the fence Chris!

[Armchair Critic]

HA Harrison's looking for the fence button

[Mabinogia]

"he just jumped the fucking gate!"

hahahahaha

It's like he escaped prison. Run Colton RUN!!!!

Is it just me or does it sound like CH keeps saying Dolton?

[Mu Shu]

I hope he hides ina hole in Central Park.

[Mabinogia]

hahaha, this reminds me of the time our dog got out of the yard. We had to track her down. She was deaf by then and wouldn't come when we called. 

[bosawks]

All the crying his name and whistling in the dark just makes me think “Colton” sounds like a decent name for a dog.

[Ms Blue Jay]

12 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Isn't there suppose to be another FJ date after this one?

Didn't anyone explain what FJ stands for yet it's absolutely KILLING me.  Fuck Jym?  Fence Jump?  

[Mabinogia]

OMG he's lost for THREE episodes!!!!! I hope he had snacks in his pocket, or some money. Something. I'm worried about his safety out there all night. 

[talktoomuch]

Poor Hannah G...

[Armchair Critic]

"Most shocking and most emotional ending ever". Harrison, fool me once.......

[Ms Blue Jay]

OH MY GOD THE FENCE..... OH MY GOD I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE......... OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[EllenB]

Unpopular opinion, but I think I sort of understand her point of view.  She's just so damned inarticulate that she didn't say it.  The group Delta Rae has a great song about it.

https://youtu.be/9df7mHBjOYM

[LennieBriscoe]

First I've watched. I think Cassie is beautiful. I also think Colton, in that moment, was heartbroken.

[Mabinogia]

Just now, Armchair Critic said:

"Most shocking and most emotional ending ever". Harrison, fool me once.......

You'll be eating your words when we find out Colton got run over by a car when he ran out into the street! How's that for shocking and emotional...well, shocking anyway. 

[JustDuckie]

3 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

I hope he hides ina hole in Central Park.

With the nocturnal dirt people.

[Gem 10]

Chris magically appears when Colt is running to jump the fence, haha.

[Ms Blue Jay]

I'M SCREAMING LAUGHING

I'M DYING

GIVE THIS SHOW ALL THE EMMYS

CHRIS HARRISON, I APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT I'VE SAID IN THE PAST

[saber5055]

Well, previews ruin things but prove I'm right about my theory. And Dad is there to hold the Neil Lane ring when they get engaged.

Poor third b-ette. I hope Harrison sends her room service or something, and let's a PA take her on a tour of the town as a consolation prize.

Edited March 5, 2019 by saber5055

[adhoc]

1. I feel like I'm watching a Nicholas Sparks movie. Or maybe a really really bad Lifetime movie. 

2. "I'm dumping Colton's ass tonight, but I brought this silver dress that makes me look totally hot, and damn if I'm gonna leave here without getting a chance to wear it!"

[Ms Blue Jay]

13 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I think she knows that but she’s trying to tell him she’s just not that into him and he keeps talking about there not being a time limit while she’s trying anything for him to just tell her it’s ok for her to leave . I don’t think it’s that she just doesn’t want to marry him . She isn’t into him romantically . 

EXACTLY . SHE DOESN'T WANT HIM OR LIKE HIM OR THIS.  THAT'S IT.  

[saber5055]

5 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Didn't anyone explain what FJ stands for yet it's absolutely KILLING me.  Fuck Jym?  Fence Jump?  

Oh, nuts, sorry. I spend WAY too much time in the Jeopardy thread where FJ is Final Jeopardy so typing that is automatic. Please substitute FS for this show, I meant Fantasy Suite. My apologies!

Although Fence Jump is pretty good. I think I'll use that.

[txhorns79]

I can't be the only person who expected Ed Harris to show up and tell the control room to "cue the sun" as Colton ran off into the night.  

Edited March 5, 2019 by txhorns79

[JustDuckie]

Did CH actually whistle for him?

Hahahahahahahaomg.

Woof woof woof. Portugese dogs be like...

[Ms Blue Jay]

Guys - this is one of the funniest threads in this site's history - fence none.  I mean bar none.

[One4Sorrow2TooBad]

Heather was a smart one to bail on this crapfest. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

11 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

Here comes the fence!!!!!!

HAHAHAHHAAHAH LIKE THE FENCE WAS COMING RIGHT AT US

[shouldbedancing]

It felt... real. I want to give them all an Emmy. Especially the dad.

[Mabinogia]

Just now, One4Sorrow2TooBad said:

Heather was a smart one to bail on this crapfest. 

It was also the greatest dump in history because she just had no fucks to give him. No tears, no "I don't know, I just don't know, I wish I knew but I don't know (because I have never had to actually make a decision in my whole life and this is just so haaaaaard)". Just, "yeah, I'm gonna hop on this train now. Later". 

I do think, if this whole reality star thing doesn't pan out for him, Dolton can use this episode in his bid for the Olympic high jump competition. 

[Jax7917]

I bet she would have been very much “ in love” with him if she were the F2 and got the I love you but I’m more in love with someone else speech . Because then her fake broken heart would mean she’d be the bachelorette . 

[Riplet68]

I firmly believe they have such young cast this year because they were topping out age wise.  Rachel was 31 and Brian was 36 or something.  They had to do an age reset.

colton did tell her they didn’t have to get engaged. I think that’s why the bachelors don’t last and ettes do. The men go after the girls who are aloof and not Gaga over them, while for the most part, the women tend to go after guys who seem to honestly think they’re awesome.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Ok I'll admit it.  It was kind of hot when Colton jumped the fence

[JenE4]

10 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

hahaha, this reminds me of the time our dog got out of the yard. We had to track her down. She was deaf by then and wouldn't come when we called. 

5 minutes ago, JustDuckie said:

Did CH actually whistle for him?

Hahahahahahahaomg.

Woof woof woof. Portugese dogs be like...

13 minutes ago, bosawks said:

All the crying his name and whistling in the dark just makes me think “Colton” sounds like a decent name for a dog.

Next week, Harrison staples “Missing Bachelor” fliers with the little tear-off phone numbers onto telephone poles.

[Gem 10]

4 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Guys - this is one of the funniest threads in this site's history - fence none.  I mean bar none.

I agree.  The comments are genius.  Keeps me laughing all night.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Just now, Gem 10 said:

I agree.  The comments are genius.  Keeps me laughing all night.

Reading these comments - and rewinding the Fence Jump 5 times - have me crying.  This has been awesome

[One4Sorrow2TooBad]

Sounds like it would make a funny SNL skit next week. 

[Mu Shu]

Why was colton holed up in a windowless treehouse?  

What about miss manners Hannah?  She’s probably relieved.  Buy her and Tayshia a nice piece of jewelry and an extra week just to hang out.  Shit, I’d be relieved and settle for a filet o fish and a week in yeehaw junction. 

[Gem 10]

24 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

I hope he hides ina hole in Central Park.

YOU should be a writer for SNL.  LMAO.

[PerfectPrincess]

The whistling killed me. Oh my GOD. Harrison genuinely thought if he whistled, Colton would come. WHISTLE! As if Colton had the high pitched sensitivity of a dog who doesn’t know his own name and will only respond to that method. Toot toot, Colton. 

[saber5055]

10 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Ok I'll admit it.  It was kind of hot when Colton jumped the fence

Just knowing Colton was leaving the show was hot IMO. Harrison can finish out the series as the step-Bachelor! Now CH is a bachelor I could "get into" if ya'll know what I mean.

9 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Next week, Harrison staples “Missing Bachelor” fliers with the little tear-off phone numbers onto telephone poles.

Okay, now THIS made me LOL so loud and for so long, I had to make myself stop out of respect for the chair I'm sitting in. You win the Internet today, @JenE4.

5 minutes ago, One4Sorrow2TooBad said:

Sounds like it would make a funny SNL skit next week. 

Oh, snap. You KNOW it's going to be on. Plus Kimmel tonight is going to be a must-see. He always recaps the show and has clips. It's been so boring this season that I haven't bothered to stay up to be bored again by late night.

Edited March 5, 2019 by saber5055

[Armchair Critic]

10 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Ok I'll admit it.  It was kind of hot when Colton jumped the fence

Notice I gave you the 'Sad' rating for thinking he was hot. hahahaaaaa

[phlebas]

Does Cassie and her dad think the Final Rose ceremony is legally binding?  Ask almost every other Bachelor if that's true.

It looks like Colton plans to walk to Huntington Beach. I guess he didn't notice the big wet thing on the flight over.

[Ms Blue Jay]

3 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

YOU should be a writer for SNL.  LMAO.

It's a Seinfeld reference.