S10.E03: Kody Wants Out

[B in Lee]

10 hours ago, Alapaki said:

I'm genuinely curious how Kody and the wives would react if one of their daughters wasn't engaged to be a first wife, but instead was engaged to be an older dude's 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife.  I suspect the wives would support it due to the cognitive dissonance required to validate their own stations in life.  But I have a feeling that Kody wouldn't be thrilled.  

Oh, I never thought of it from that angle. All of Kody's princesses have been married into the #1 position (although it does seem that his kids don't really want much to do with this whole family circus atmosphere they grew up in).  I think he would be less than thrilled if his daughter was going to be anything other than first wife. And we would be treated to a lot of long-winded, convoluted explanation of Kody's religious Doctrine of the Day justifying his feelings. Heck, he might even get mad - like he does when confronted with the notion that surgery might just be the best course of action to help his kid. Beware the power of the man-bun!

[Tabbygirl521]

19 hours ago, Granny58 said:

This would be perfect for Kody to say.  I would really go a long way in their relationship.  I can't agree with Meri's part though.  Yes, of course she was wrong to effectively cheat, that is understood.  But she cheated for the same reason most people have cheated....their needs weren't met and for a very long time.   His needs were met x 4 (as you so eloquently stated in his wished-for apology)....hers never were.  I can't condone cheating, but I can easily understand the reason.  

I agree about understanding Meri’s reasons. I don’t even think she set out to cheat, either. I think she felt an emotional connection that snowballed, then of course it was all fake. But anyway. I think their “lifestyle” has failed her for a long time and may go a long way to explain why she can seem unpleasant and victim-y. Unlike many, I don’t dislike her, I feel sorry for her and hope she can find a happier life soon. 

In their culture, the first wife is supposed to be HBIC, but it sure didn’t work out that way for her. And it surely broke her heart to be asked to divorce him in favor of the new, young, attractive (yup, another Unpopulsr Opinion), and obviously FERTILE wife.

If the divorce really was so Bunboy could adopt Robin’s other kids, once that was accomplished he could have divorced Robin and remarried Meri. But I guess they are all supposed to believe that “spiritual” marriage = legal marriage. Except it doesn’t, in various ways to various people. 

Kody’s infatuation with Robin seemed to break Christine’s heart, too, but we did see Kody and her taking some steps to try to shore up their marriage. We haven’t seen him do squat to do the same for Meri, and he’s even said a couple of things lately that seem to acknowledge that. So she fell apart and screwed up, and he’ll never stop punishing her for it. 

Yay, polygamy!! It makes each of us better!

[laurakaye]

At the heart of it is that in polygamy, the women have to sit quietly by and watch as their husband cheats on them in front of their very eyes in the name of "religion," while the wives cannot do the same.  And if a woman in polygamy is not having her emotional needs met by her bed-hopping husband, that's HER FAILING.  The men, however, don't have to worry about silly imaginary things like female emotions.  If one wife is being a PITA, he can simply skip on over to another bedroom.

I personally think Kody was finished with Meri the day she told him that she had decided not to take up Robyn's Rent-A-Womb offer.  

[SL16]

23 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

-When Mitch and Aspyn announced their engagement there was Aurora clamping onto Mitch like a barnacle.  She is awfully grabby.  What's up with that?

Isn't she the same one that was weeping and trembling while Logan carried her into Janelle's new house? She's a drama queen of the highest order.

Edited February 13, 2019 by SL16

[TurtlePower]

1 hour ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I agree about understanding Meri’s reasons. I don’t even think she set out to cheat, either. I think she felt an emotional connection that snowballed, then of course it was all fake. But anyway. I think their “lifestyle” has failed her for a long time and may go a long way to explain why she can seem unpleasant and victim-y. Unlike many, I don’t dislike her, I feel sorry for her and hope she can find a happier life soon. 

In their culture, the first wife is supposed to be HBIC, but it sure didn’t work out that way for her. And it surely broke her heart to be asked to divorce him in favor of the new, young, attractive (yup, another Unpopulsr Opinion), and obviously FERTILE wife.

If the divorce really was so Bunboy could adopt Robin’s other kids, once that was accomplished he could have divorced Robin and remarried Meri. But I guess they are all supposed to believe that “spiritual” marriage = legal marriage. Except it doesn’t, in various ways to various people. 

Kody’s infatuation with Robin seemed to break Christine’s heart, too, but we did see Kody and her taking some steps to try to shore up their marriage. We haven’t seen him do squat to do the same for Meri, and he’s even said a couple of things lately that seem to acknowledge that. So she fell apart and screwed up, and he’ll never stop punishing her for it. 

Yay, polygamy!! It makes each of us better!

I don't doubt Meri's motives--no one wants to feel unloved and dismissed as Meri was--but she needs to share the blame. It's much easier to move forward after all the dirt has been seen and cleared from under the rug. It's like saying, "You know what, I did this and it was wrong but I was so unhappy. All I wanted  was to feel loved, and that person--real or not--made me feel good." After that, people can decide whether or not to forgive her but it's on them now, not her. And she can move on knowing she put it all out there. 

Having said that, I think Meri was doomed to be unhappy from the get go, as you suggest. And she's still there, making appearances and such. I wonder if she has a long-game planned for when the show ends. I cannot imagine how awful it would be to be stuck in a filming contract with a family that made me miserable. 

[Kohola3]

4 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

"You know what, I did this and it was wrong but I was so unhappy. All I wanted  was to feel loved, and that person--real or not--made me feel good."

But she can't.  She's totally convinced that she is the victim in everything that happens to her.  Wait until LLNo tanks, she's going to take it very personally.

IMO, Meri was doomed the day that Kootie said he was taking a second wife. She was too cowed to say no, too obsessed with him to leave, too unprepared to live a life on her own.  So she's stewed in her own Juices of Misery since that time, finding ways to make everyone else around her unhappy as well.  

The only way out for her is to get some counseling, get some education and a real job, and get the hell out of Dodge.  But it will never happen because she enjoys the Poor Me role too much.  I have no sympathy - if she had a malignant tumor, she'd get it removed. 

Well, Kootie and the Gang are yoru tumor so put on your big girl panties and cut them out of your life.

[xwordfanatik]

4 hours ago, SL16 said:

Isn't she the same one that was weeping and trembling while Logan carried her into Janelle's new house? She's a drama queen of the highest order.

She is!  I don't remember the scene with Logan, but I do remember when Hunter had a furlough from whatever military academy he is/was in, and Aurora practically knocked everyone over to be first to hug him.  She's got daddy issues or something.  Clingy and needy and then some.  Drama Queen is right.

[Kyanight]

9 minutes ago, lma said:

I don’t know any polygamists and I don’t mean to offend, but for those wives who truly believe that it is required by their religion AND who actually are sweet natured sister wives, then they are practically saints, I’m sure.

Simple minded, but saints. 

Have we seen evidence of any wives like that on any of the polygamy shows? Let’s see...who can check off all the boxes?

No sister wife in the history of sisterwifery, I’m sure. 

Mature - n/a

Secure - Robyn (as the fave); maybe Janelle (as the checked out wife)

Kind - Christine; maybe Robyn (in a sneaky way)

Giving - Christine

Simple - all of the above PLUS Meri who failed to rank anywhere else

I think the two Alldredge wives seem to have the right mindset.  There is a poster here that is the first wife and one of her best friends is the second, and they seem to also make it work.

I want to say that I wholeheartedly believe that how the husband handles the situation can make a huge difference.  He should respect his first (second/third/whatever) wife/wives when he is bringing in someone new.  He should always be considerate of how they are feeling, and maybe give extra attention and affection during that time.  I think that is one reason I disliked Kody so much - when we first see him he is courting Robyn and he made no effort to hide his MASSIVE infatuation for her and (at least on camera) we never saw him give much of himself to his other wives.  His wife is in labor and he's on a date, kissing his new squeeze.   I can't deal with that.  I know that editing contributes to what we see and how our impressions are formed -  but regardless - it was obvious that Robyn was all that mattered.

Edited February 13, 2019 by Kyanight

[Gothish520]

On 2/12/2019 at 3:34 PM, Kyanight said:

I like hearing everyone's different viewpoints on wedding etiquette.  Weddings have changed so much through the years.   

Just for fun (not that anyone cares!) ... here is my wedding photo.   And my groom with his dad and two moms.  ; )

You are just adorable! I'm getting a Susan Blakely vibe, or Dianne Kay from the tv show Eight is Enough.

[Kyanight]

5 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

You are just adorable! I'm getting a Susan Blakely vibe, or Dianne Kay from the tv show Eight is Enough.

Why thank you!  But something happened... I got old.  He got fat and ugly.  I got pudgy.  No clue about his herd.    Damn that was mean!  See, this is why I am not a very nice person, lol.

[SunnyBeBe]

I actually do have respect or I'm not sure what you call it, but, some reverence for those people who really do believe that polygamy is part of their religion.  Everyone is free to have their own religious beliefs.  But, if that is the case, just say that is why you do it.  Don't come up with these cutesy sayings about how it's so wonderful, makes you a better person, unites you all as one big happy family, etc.  Because, that's not what we see and from what I've read, their teaching is that it is for their own good, but, they aren't guaranteed that they will be happy with it.  It's more like something you endure for the betterment and survival of the sect. Somewhere along the line they started faking it and pretending that they were happy, instead of just doing their so-called duties.   I actually think that Kody does believe that it's religious based, but, he's gone along with the wives philosophies of how it works for them.  When in fact, it really hasn't resulted in them being happy.  They have some great kids, so, I suppose it has provided some successes.  I just wonder if the Brown wives really believe anything about the real reasons they are bound to plural marriage. Cause, I don't believe the stuff we've heard so far. 

Edited February 14, 2019 by SunnyBeBe

[Bunnyto4]

On 2/12/2019 at 12:13 PM, TurtlePower said:

I love all of this. Meri and Kody were having problems before she became involved with "Sam". The conversation should have started there, but by that time I think Kody had already dismissed Meri as needy and bothersome. We know the rest. 

As much as watching Meri find a reason to cry every episode is somehow satisfying (because she's so narcissistic), it's getting tiresome. The relationship amongst all of them is broken when It involves Meri. They're all afraid of how Meri going to react and Meri thinks they're all against her. That's not a way to co-exist and it doesn't seem fixable, especially if Meri truly hates the lifestyle. 

It would be great if Meri moved on after the show. She seems to do best when she is "on her own". 

I'm sort of new to this show-I started watching 3 seasons ago. People really hate on Meri here, and although I find her extremely annoying in many ways, I also feel sorry for her. I think she's well and truly heartbroken-I agree she should get away from the family (particularly that jag Kody) and strike out on her own. And FFS, take that poor girl with scoliosis for surgery!! As someone who has had it since childhood-and whose parents couldn't afford surgery-you are torturing her. Do your due diligence and find an excellent surgeon to help her!  The braces are practically medieval. She's young and  with surgery followed by physical therapy, within a year she can make a complete recovery and get on with her life! 

[Mrs. Hanson]

15 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Don't come up with these cutesy sayings about how it's so wonderful, makes you a better person, unites you all as one big happy family, etc.  Because, that's not what we see

Very true point!!  They don't seem like a big happy family, do they?  They all seem a bit agitated with each other.

[kicotan]

15 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Everyone is free to have their own religious beliefs.  But, if that is the case, just say that is why you do it

I think for many saying that it is for religious belief is just another cop out for what’s really motivating these women.  They (the wives) readily admit it is something that causes them a fair amount of emotional anguish(jealousy, insecurity).  Hence the rules of separate living quarters for all the wives and no bed sharing between them, heck, even no PDA in front of other wives.  Why not just say you like to suffer, if it indeed causes you suffering?  Emotional masochism is real, folks.  Most folks that have it don’t even realize it.

Let’s say I like to smoke cannabis, instead of share a husband with another woman/other women.  I can join the Rastafarian Church and say it is my religious sacrament, I can get a medical recommendation and say it is for my health or I could just smoke it recreationally and say I enjoy the relaxation the same as someone else who prefers a couple of glasses of wine or an occasional cocktail.  If I suffered emotionally from smoking cannabis, continuing to do so to abide by religious dogma is the only reason of the 3 that would make any sense, unless I was willing to admit I’m really just an emotional masochist that gets some sort of satisfaction from my suffering and I’m using religion as an excuse to satiate my need to suffer.

ETA:

I’ve known some non-religious polygamist (polyamorous?) folk that eschew monogamy and were thrilled with their arrangements.  Most of them don’t live together in one household and live very independent lives from each other, getting together during the week or on weekends much like a group of friends (with benefits).

I could never do it, but more power to them if that’s what brings them joy.

Edited February 15, 2019 by kicotan
Forgot to add something

[Livvykate]

1 hour ago, Bunnyto4 said:

I'm sort of new to this show-I started watching 3 seasons ago. People really hate on Meri here, and although I find her extremely annoying in many ways, I also feel sorry for her. I think she's well and truly heartbroken-I agree she should get away from the family (particularly that jag Kody) and strike out on her own. And FFS, take that poor girl with scoliosis for surgery!! As someone who has had it since childhood-and whose parents couldn't afford surgery-you are torturing her. Do your due diligence and find an excellent surgeon to help her!  The braces are practically medieval. She's young and  with surgery followed by physical therapy, within a year she can make a complete recovery and get on with her life! 

As a daughter who has the same condition as Ysabel,( my girl’s curve is at 45 degrees) I need to tell you that no reputable surgeon will do the surgery until the curve gets to almost 50 degrees.   That curvature degree is deemed acceptable for the slim, but severe risks of such an invasive surgery. 

I agree that Kody and Christine are being idiots for scaring Ysabel. She may well end up having to have the surgery. 

But it’s not a matter of getting her the surgery at the present time. Her curve needs to progress further for surgery to happen. 

I just wanted to weigh in in this as we are living with the very real fears that come with this condition. 

[Kyanight]

13 minutes ago, kicotan said:

I think for many saying that it is for religious belief is just another cop out for what’s really motivating these women.  They (the wives) readily admit it is something that causes them a fair amount of emotional anguish(jealousy, insecurity).  Hence the rules of separate living quarters for all the wives and no bed sharing between them, heck, even no PDA in front of other wives.  Why not just say you like to suffer, if it indeed causes you suffering?  Emotional masochism is real, folks.  Most folks that have it don’t even realize it.

Let’s say I like to smoke cannabis, instead of share a husband with another woman/other women.  I can join the Rastafarian Church and say it is my religious sacrament, I can get a medical recommendation and say it is for my health or I could just smoke it recreationally and say I enjoy the relaxation the same as someone else who prefers a couple of glasses of wine or an occasional cocktail.  If I suffered emotionally from smoking cannabis, continuing to do so to abide by religious dogma is the only reason of the 3 that would make any sense, unless I was willing to admit I’m really just an emotional masochist that gets some sort of satisfaction from my suffering and I’m using religion as an excuse to satiate my need to suffer.

I think you are failing to take into account indoctrination.  Definition:  the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically.   Children are BORN into polygamy.  These children may or may not be home-schooled, and the other families they see and interact with also believe in polygamy.  This is how they are raised.  This is what they see.  This is what they are taught to believe.  How do you expect these women to suddenly gain some insight into how others believe, if they are never exposed/experience anything different?  In the more religiously strict families they don't even watch TV so there isn't even any exposure through media.   That is unfair and untrue to say they love a life of misery and freely choose to be unhappy.   It is simply impossible to want something you don't even know exists.  (Monogamy).

EDIT:   For those women like the Browns who certainly DO know Monogamy exists and chose to be in a polygamous marriage - their religious beliefs are the backbone of who they are.   Divorce is extremely serious, and even most first wives who leave a polygamous marriage and live apart for 20, 30, 40 or more years almost rarely get a divorce from their husband.  They simply live apart.  These women BELIEVE that this is what God wants for them, they have been TAUGHT this, and if they are unhappy with this life then something is wrong with THEM and they need to work on their feelings.

Edited February 15, 2019 by Kyanight

[kicotan]

3 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

 ...That is unfair and untrue to say they love a life of misery and freely choose to be unhappy. It is simply impossible to want something you don't even know exists...

I’m speaking to the motivation of the wives on the Sister Wives show, not Everyone Involved in Religious Polygamy.  None of the wives on this show are isolated-they may or may not have grown up in an isolated polygamist environment but even so, that ship has long sailed.  Plus, they claim to have gone and continue to go to mainstream therapists who could help them out if they really don’t want to suffer.

I know about indoctrination. I grew up in a very isolated rural environment, connected to a relatively low-key Protestant sect with Congregational polity.  I wasn’t allowed to be a part of secular social groups-no Girl Scouts, no 4-H, that sort of thing. I didn’t know women were allowed to touch tools until I went to a public high school.  Picking up a hammer or screwdriver still triggers panic attacks-but since I’m not into emotional suffering, I didn’t seek out a job as a mechanic.

I’m not trying to be insulting to anyone or any religion who espouses suffering as part of their dogma.  I just think if they’d be a bit more honest about it, they’d come clean with admitting being desirous of that suffering.  It satisfies them, as emotional masochists with the added benefit of bringing them closer to their perceived afterlife of paradise.

No harm, no foul.

[SunnyBeBe]

It's difficult for me to know just how much of the Brown's taglines are about TLC money or them trying to convince themselves that they have good lives due to plural marriage.  AND, based on the apparent rejection of it by the majority of their kids, that we have seen so far, it's not as great as they make it seem.  And this is another reason why I wonder if plural marriage is really being taught as a religious tenet to their children.  They don't seem to have much regard for it.  I think it's referred to as living The Principle, right? 

Edited February 15, 2019 by SunnyBeBe

[Kyanight]

From what we see on the show, the only wife that I honestly believe wants OUT, is Meri.  I've thought that for years - as well as the majority of people posting on this board.  I think she stays because of TLC.  That's the only thing I can come up with.

[laurakaye]

28 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

From what we see on the show, the only wife that I honestly believe wants OUT, is Meri.  I've thought that for years - as well as the majority of people posting on this board.  I think she stays because of TLC.  That's the only thing I can come up with.

Although I think Meri would be perfectly happy to continue living this lifestyle if the Kodester would divorce the skinny one and re-legally marry Meri.  Put her back in place as HBIC and I think she smiles all the way to Parowan and back.

[Higgins]

On ‎2‎/‎10‎/‎2019 at 10:10 AM, VedaPierce said:

Cheated and saw this episode last week! My 2 cents:

Noticed Janelle wasn’t at the Grand Opening Extravaganza, but didn’t catch the reason why...did she throw one out? 

Was aware because I wanted to watch the dynamic between her and Meri’s mom. But interesting that she wasn’t even there. What could Janelle possibly have had going on that was more pressing? Was she struggling with the latest health trend? Was she trying to figure out segmented sleep? Shopping for Placental pills? Looking for her Third Eye in a junk drawer? What kept her away from Meri’s Star-studded grand opening? Other than awkward encounters with Meri’s mom and/or brother. Janelle doesn’t do awkward. 

Also...those interest-only mortgage payments are going to change to principle+interest. When that happens, their mortgage payments will all DOUBLE monthly. That’s right, DOUBLE mortgage payment. That’s why Kody has this burning need to leave. That’s the only reason. He’s so full of crap saying he always felt in exile. When they first made the move to Vegas, he was saying he always wanted to live in Vegas because there he could be free. Now suddenly he’s in exile. Now that he’s staring down the barrel of doubling his monthly mortgage payment x 4. He’s re-writing history to suit his current financial condition.

Why wouldn't they have refinanced those stupid loans when rates were near nothing????

[booboopbedoo]

On 2/12/2019 at 5:53 AM, neh said:

Good luck to Meri when she tries to find a sucker, umm, I mean buyer for that place.

Just looking at the rooms made me sneeze. Everything would smell like old sweat ant cat pee.

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, laurakaye said:

Although I think Meri would be perfectly happy to continue living this lifestyle if the Kodester would divorce the skinny one and re-legally marry Meri.  Put her back in place as HBIC and I think she smiles all the way to Parowan and back.

I don't think Meri cares anymore.    Her catfish crap hurt Kody and his massive infatuation with Robyn and divorcing her to make Robyn # 1 hurt Meri.  Poke them with a fork - they are done as a couple.

The first wife isn't always the "HBIC".  Being first or legal doesn't make it so.  Do you think Robyn is?  Maybe she TRIES to be....

[booboopbedoo]

A woman I know in Vegas has a son who is a Realtor. They had super high mortgages on the homes and when the the show is over- no money. They couldn't afford to live in Vegas anymore. They took a huge hit on them.

[Kyanight]

2 minutes ago, booboopbedoo said:

Just looking at the rooms made me sneeze. Everything would smell like old sweat ant cat pee.

Wrong - DOG pee.  Kody even mentioned at the grand opening that Meri couldn't put the dog down because he would immediately pee on the carpet.

[suomi]

2 hours ago, kicotan said:

I just think if they’d be a bit more honest about it, they’d come clean with admitting being desirous of that suffering.  It satisfies them, as emotional masochists with the added benefit of bringing them closer to their perceived afterlife of paradise.

The two main ingredients are suffering and persecution and the degree of persecution, whether real or perceived, is a measure of the validity of their beliefs. 

Those who create these systems are quite good at

1) anticipating complaints and therefore:

2) minimizing complaints

3) glorifying persecution

[Sasha888]

On 2/12/2019 at 12:29 PM, Natalie68 said:

I don't think so at all.  I have been to a ton of weddings and only 1 was a free bar.  I would hate to be thought of as tacky if I was providing the best I could.  At my wedding we didn't have a bar.  If someone wanted alcohol we had a keg and non alcoholic drinks.  But if someone thought I was tacky because I had a cash bar then those people should not have been on my guest list to begin with.

Amen. If someone is at your wedding just to judge and expect freebies, who wants them there anyway. 

I know some families with as many as 5 daughters and limited funds with which to throw a reception. So maybe it isn't the most elegant party you've ever attended in those situations - but are you there for freebies or because you care about the couple? 

I think it would be cruel to say "You can't have a reception because you can't afford x, y, and z." to ALL of those girls I know, and everyone like them. They throw the best reception they can. Are you there to nitpick or celebrate the start of the couple's new life together? If I'm at someone's wedding it's because I care about the people.

[Gothish520]

3 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

Amen. If someone is at your wedding just to judge and expect freebies, who wants them there anyway. 

I know some families with as many as 5 daughters and limited funds with which to throw a reception. So maybe it isn't the most elegant party you've ever attended in those situations - but are you there for freebies or because you care about the couple? 

I think it would be cruel to say "You can't have a reception because you can't afford x, y, and z." to ALL of those girls I know, and everyone like them. They throw the best reception they can. Are you there to nitpick or celebrate the start of the couple's new life together? If I'm at someone's wedding it's because I care about the people.

Is the happy couple expecting people to bring gifts? Will they judge those who attended by the generosity displayed by said gifts? We all know that happens. Sure, there may be some people who are fine with guests who give a set of coasters as wedding present - and there will be many who would not be fine with that at all. 

When I attend a wedding, I expect that I will not have to take out my wallet to be provided with food or drink - and I always give the couple a very generous gift. To me, this is an unwritten social contract, and any deviation on either side is going to result in hurt feelings and tongues wagging. Just keeping it real folks!  😄

[GleamingMist]

I've never been to an open bar wedding.  It's never bothered me one way or another but I see both sides.

Are they not planning on contributing to the weddings of their sons?  All I heard all episode was "I have 11 daughters to marry off..."  I have 5 siblings and our parents decided on a set financial amount for each child for the wedding.  What we did with that was on us.  I guess it's a religion/culture thing for them?  I think it's shitty to shell our x amount for Aspyn/Madison etc and then tell Logan etc "tough luck, figure it out"

I would also assume they get a lot of this stuff for free or really discounted since they mention it on the show/instagram?

[Gothish520]

28 minutes ago, GleamingMist said:

I've never been to an open bar wedding.  It's never bothered me one way or another but I see both sides.

Are they not planning on contributing to the weddings of their sons?  All I heard all episode was "I have 11 daughters to marry off..."  I have 5 siblings and our parents decided on a set financial amount for each child for the wedding.  What we did with that was on us.  I guess it's a religion/culture thing for them?  I think it's shitty to shell our x amount for Aspyn/Madison etc and then tell Logan etc "tough luck, figure it out"

I would also assume they get a lot of this stuff for free or really discounted since they mention it on the show/instagram?

Well traditionally, it was the bride's family that paid for the wedding, not just in certain religious groups but as a whole in society. The groom's family paid for the rehearsal dinner, I believe, and maybe for the accommodations for any guests on their side that came in from out of town. Things are completely different now, but many people still hold on to the idea that the bride's family foots the bulk of the bill. My parents paid for my sister's first wedding, she and her second husband paid for her second wedding, and she eloped for her third, lol. My brother and his ex paid for their own wedding (her family had squat). I didn't marry until I was in my 40s, and my husband and I paid. The parents gave us generous checks as wedding gifts. 

I would imagine that the Browns would give their sons wedding gifts, but if the families hold to tradition, it would be the brides' families that would be footing a good portion of the bill, or the couple will probably pay for most of it themselves. 

Edited February 16, 2019 by Gothish520

[SunnyBeBe]

I guess my question is, How do you keep spending big bulks, (even though $15,000.00 isn't that huge by today's standards) on your daughters' weddings when you don't have it, can't borrow it and have no way to put it on credit?  If it's not there, it's not there....so, I would expect it to have to stop at some point. 

[Gothish520]

3 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I guess my question is, How do you keep spending big bulks, (even though $15,000.00 isn't that huge by today's standards) on your daughters' weddings when you don't have it, can't borrow it and have no way to put it on credit?  If it's not there, it's not there....so, I would expect it to have to stop at some point. 

Yeah, Kody speaks very traditionally, but I would be surprised if he and the family actually footed the entire bill for every daughter. I agree with @GleamingMist that they have to be getting discounts and compensation for social media and tv mentions, as well as getting help from TLC. 

[Natalie68]

3 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Is the happy couple expecting people to bring gifts? Will they judge those who attended by the generosity displayed by said gifts? We all know that happens. Sure, there may be some people who are fine with guests who give a set of coasters as wedding present - and there will be many who would not be fine with that at all. 

When I attend a wedding, I expect that I will not have to take out my wallet to be provided with food or drink - and I always give the couple a very generous gift. To me, this is an unwritten social contract, and any deviation on either side is going to result in hurt feelings and tongues wagging. Just keeping it real folks!  😄

I am so glad that I don't hang with people who would judge me based on the amount of money I can spend to entertain/wine/dine them.  The point is the wedding.  Not how lit I can get my guests.  But different strokes.  My budget wedding, that did NOT have a cash or open bar but keg/wine/non alcoholic beverages seemed to do the trick.  Been married almost 28 years.  Of the folks that broke the bank getting married that I know?  95% of them are divorced.  Pretty much flushed that $ down the toilet.  But different opinions make the world go 'round.

[deirdra]

3 hours ago, GleamingMist said:

Are they not planning on contributing to the weddings of their sons?  All I heard all episode was "I have 11 daughters to marry off..."  

In Kody's personalized "religion" the women are chattel to be handed over from father to husband, but the male children become men who "lead" their wives and can do whatever they want.  Though I think Logan is saving to pay for part of his own wedding. 

[Aethera]

***MOD NOTE***

Guys, this topic is about the episode, let's stick to that and not get into general discussion of wedding etiquette. I think we've said enough on that topic.

Also, please remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that etiquette standards are not set in stone. It's fine to criticize the Browns for their choices, but it is not ok to criticize or demand proof for your fellow posters' opinions.

[VedaPierce]

On 2/15/2019 at 11:08 AM, Higgins said:

Why wouldn't they have refinanced those stupid loans when rates were near nothing????

They very well may have, but there's only so many times you can refinance. Lowest interest rates were about a year and a half ago. They probably missed the boat then. And if they refinanced now or recently, they're still going to have to pay interest + principal. So it's still going to be higher monthly. They probably did a cash-out refi at a lower interest rate, pocketed the profits on the homes value increases, and used that cash-out money to pay for the new properties (land, Christine's house) in Flagstaff. In any case, they better sell those ugly houses fast. Every month they don't sell, is 3 giant mortgage payments coming due. 

Usually you would get an interest-only loan when you know you will be selling within 5 years...maybe they knew all along that they would be long gone by the time the principal came due.

[Dave James]

On 2/10/2019 at 8:42 PM, LucyEth said:

Where is Mykelti and Tony?  

Running Late they stopped to get Tacos 🌮 for everyone!

[Dave James]

On 2/10/2019 at 9:11 PM, suev3333 said:

Theres no reason they need all these expensive weddings....especially when Kodys complaining about all these daughters he has to pay for.   (Uh....it was your choice Kod's to  have all these kids....deal with it))  I got married justice of the peace, and had a small reception in our apt.  And it was great ..  This family is so freaking extravagant....in all they do....then they complain about the money....jeesh🙄

You don’t really believe they paid for these weddings. I think TLC and what ever rags they sell pictures and interviews too.

just my opinion 

[Dave James]

On 2/10/2019 at 10:52 PM, Sasha888 said:

I don't think a cash bar is a huge faux pas. Most of the weddings I've been to have not provided free drinks all night to all guests.

Some have had the drinks free to guests for a certain time period (first hour of the reception or whatever) and after that it switches to cash bar.

Almost none of my relatives could have ever afforded to have a wedding reception at all if "no cash bars" were a rule. 

I am not offended at all if I'm invited to a wedding reception and there's a cash bar. It's common with most people I know. Punch and coffee are provided for free, if you want an alcoholic beverage you pay for it yourself.

I'd be a lot more offended by the fact that some people got a full meal and I got finger food.

My wedding we bought the bar for a certain dollar amount including tips. After that cash is gone the guest paid.

[the-grey-lady]

On 2/10/2019 at 7:41 PM, TurtlePower said:

Kody is SO checked out of his relationship with Meri and isn't afraid to show it. He seemed to respect her accomplishment as a person, but there was zero tenderness there at all--something Kody doesn't even seem to think may be necessary in the relationship at this point. They were like two stiffs there at the end watching the sunset. 

My favorite part was when Kody was all, "Meri has this way of pushing people along with her - or out of the way - to get what she wants."

Me: So you're saying Meri is pushy and manipulative? Sounds like a real charmer.

And did Kody honestly claim that he wanted to move back to Utah from the moment they arrived in Vegas? Perhaps my memory is failing me, but I could've sworn that he and the wives SAID ON THE SHOW that Kody had ALWAYS wanted to live in Vegas.

Except apparently he never wanted to. Or something.

Edited February 17, 2019 by the-grey-lady

[Kohola3]

1 hour ago, the-grey-lady said:

Perhaps my memory is failing me, but I could've sworn that he and the wives SAID ON THE SHOW that Kody had ALWAYS wanted to live in Vegas.

 I recall that he said it "was his dream".

[xwordfanatik]

I remember an early episode where Kootie took Christine and their six kids to LV.  Christine was overjoyed, poor thing, for finally getting Kootie's attention away from Robyn and her spawn.  

When did the "dream" die?  It just HAS to be financial, this whole cockamamie scenario coming up.  Did they play Pin The Tail on the map of the western states?  

[Kyanight]

28 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I remember an early episode where Kootie took Christine and their six kids to LV.  Christine was overjoyed, poor thing, for finally getting Kootie's attention away from Robyn and her spawn.  

When did the "dream" die?  It just HAS to be financial, this whole cockamamie scenario coming up.  Did they play Pin The Tail on the map of the western states?  

They could have moved to Idaho - it has the second largest Mormon population next to Utah.  I still maintain that THAT was their final choice because Robyn's son is there.  Can you think of any other reason that it had to be THERE?

[Screetchingstop]

On 2/13/2019 at 10:16 AM, Tabbygirl521 said:

Yay, polygamy!! It makes each of us better!

I think this everytime I watch this show. How are any of them better because of this lifestyle? 

[sharkerbaby]

I must have missed when we learned Dayton was going to college in Flagstaff can someone point me in the direction of this news?  I just did a google search but was unsuccessful however, this has been stated with such certainty a number of times so I obviously missed this news and would be very interested in finding out more. 

I too have a son with special needs right around Dayton's age so he holds a special place in my heart hence my interest in his post secondary schooling.

TIA

[LilWharveyGal]

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Did they play Pin The Tail on the map of the western states?  

LOL, I bet they did and settled on Arizona when they couldn't find "Y"oming!

2 minutes ago, sharkerbaby said:

I must have missed when we learned Dayton was going to college in Flagstaff can someone point me in the direction of this news?  I just did a google search but was unsuccessful however, this has been stated with such certainty a number of times so I obviously missed this news and would be very interested in finding out more.

Me, too. Where did that rumor come from?

[antfitz]

Tabbygirl,  I agree with you regarding Meri,  And have been saying similar things for years. I also think Robin is not considered the cute young thing like she was before. Kody  Seemed obsessed with Robin for a while,  but of course that has passed.

[antfitz]

Anybody think it's telling that kody is moving further away from Meri and her B and B??

( How I wish these people spelled their names the regular way so that you're not constantly correcting them when you voice text...grrrr)

[jacksgirl]

Double post. Sorry 

Edited February 18, 2019 by jacksgirl

[Roslyn]

2 hours ago, sharkerbaby said:

I must have missed when we learned Dayton was going to college in Flagstaff can someone point me in the direction of this news?  I just did a google search but was unsuccessful however, this has been stated with such certainty a number of times so I obviously missed this news and would be very interested in finding out more. 

I too have a son with special needs right around Dayton's age so he holds a special place in my heart hence my interest in his post secondary schooling.

TIA

2 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

LOL, I bet they did and settled on Arizona when they couldn't find "Y"oming!

Me, too. Where did that rumor come from?

Robyn posted on Instagram about Dayton starting uni right when they were posting moving stuff and going public about the move.

Yes. She posted on Aug 29, 2018 about Dayton's first day at uni.  While she never said what college/uni he was going to, and with a scan of the comments she never answered any questions either, it has been assumed that Dayton is attending in Flagstaff or very near by because she said he was starting, and not being taken to live anywhere.  SO for an official moving timeline...someone had to be talking about it long before August of 2018 because you don't get into a university with a month's notice.

Edited February 18, 2019 by Roslyn
Edited after looking at Instagram