S07.E09: Tom and Tommer

[OnceSane]

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Sandoval and Schwartz scramble to get TomTom ready for its opening event; Kristen learns she's not allowed to come; James erupts when Raquel considers attending Girls' Night In; Jax celebrates his first birthday without the support of his parents.

Airs February 4, 2019.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Great episode title!

[nexxie]

James is always too reactive - hopefully he gets whatever help he needs.

[HunterHunted]

Lala has a bunch of different words for a private jet, besides PJ and peej; they are oral, missionary, and cowgirl. Hand job is Lala for shopping spree or jewelry. Doggie style is Lala for a new car. Anal is Lala for yacht vacay, continuous access to a Black Card, or head to toe plastic surgery.

Edited February 5, 2019 by HunterHunted

[WhosThatGirl]

Pretty sure Kristen being disinvited was a storyline for the show, per Instagram when this happened she was there. Unless something changes this episode, kind of stupid for them to say she can’t go.

[nexxie]

Doesn’t seem like LVP to be throwing things together last minute - wonder how much of that is for the TV drama. James sitting on TP - HA!

[WhosThatGirl]

Lisa drunk is not fun or funny. 

[ghoulina]

The Tom Tom storyline kind of bores me; but I do love seeing Schwartz running around, buying a backup ingredient, and totally pitching in. No more anxiety-ridden Schwartz, running away because he's scared. 

Also, James DJing from a top a pack of Quilted Northern in a closet will never not be awesome. 

I don't really care that Kirsten wasn't invited; but they could have told her a scootch earlier. Kadooz to her for not totally losing it. 

 

I actually felt a bit badly for Jax, with his mom not calling on his birthday. I don't care how old you are; we still want our parents. My dad used to send me flowers every year on my birthday. We've been estranged almost 10 years; and I still get upset about it every year. Hopefully Jax and his mom can reconcile. 

 

It pains me to say this, but I was totally on James's side about the Girls Night In thing. She's not cool with him reconciling with Lala, so he rips up the letter to Randal. But she doesn't want to show any loyalty to him? That is pretty shitty, if you ask me. 

[Batwings]

Sandoval: “I touched my balls after muddling that jalapeño, and my f&$@#ing nutsack is on fire.”

Schwartz: ”Duuuuude it got in my nostrils last night!”

They are literally Lloyd Christmas & Harry Dunn 😂

[LaLaLaLa]

42 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

Lala has a bunch of different words for a private jet; besides PJ and peej, they are oral, missionary, and cowgirl. Hand job is a Lala for shopping spree or jewelry. Doggie style is Lala is for a new car. Anal is Lala for yacht vacay, continuous access to a Black Card, or head to toe plastic surgery.

This. Is. Good.

[rustyspigot]

This episode was a whole lot of nothing. I refuse to believe Jax is only 39.

[Jel]

Lala's train conductor hat is not making me like her more. 

[bagger]

I’ve never watched a show where I dont like anyone. They’re all horrible people, Stassi being the least horrendous and that’s saying a lot considering how much i hated her when the show started.

Lala was better as a mistress than a fiancé. I’ve never seen anyone feel so superior to everyone around her. Child you got you a rich man, you didn’t invent the private jet industry so lets take a beat. All these bitches who said so many horrible things to you only care about you, want to be your friend because of your PJ (I almost threw up in mouth writing that ugh). She may be the second worst second only to Katie.

I dislike James but I have a hard time going in on him because of Katie and Kristen. Does Katie do anything other than sit on her couch and rule over this little click of theirs? Damn Stassi for having quit and come back crawling to Katie. This is when Katie truly took over, damn Stassi! Ugh Katie has gotten away with murder and not a person calls her on anything!!!!! 

I’ve always thought that Sandoval was a complete idiot but I had no proof until he had to ask what the address to “his” business was to get ice delivered. Seriously? You want to act like you own something but you dont know the damn address?  I cant!

If Schwartz wants to be a boss he may not want to call his employees a bitch like he did to James when he came to his apartment. I’m just saying you have to set yourself a higher standard when you’re part of management. 

Still watching I”m sure I’ll be ranting more later.

Edited February 5, 2019 by bagger

[bagger]

13 minutes ago, rustyspigot said:

This episode was a whole lot of nothing. I refuse to believe Jax is only 39.

I thought he was 35 when the show first aired. Didn’t his sister say you’re turning 40 when she was on the phone with him and then he quickly changed the subject up?

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

Also, James DJing from a top a pack of Quilted Northern in a closet will never not be awesome.

That was hilarious. Though I have to quasi commend his professionalism because he didn't call attention to the inadequacies of the set up. He'd run back to the booth, do a little fist pumping, hype the crowd, and the crowd had no clue.

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I don't really care that Kirsten wasn't invited; but they could have told her a scootch earlier. Kadooz to her for not totally losing it.

That was pretty shitty of Schwartz. This is another one of those moments I need to point to when people claim Kristen hasn't changed. Old Krazier Kristen would have paced outside TomTom the whole night, but never stepped foot inside.

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I actually felt a bit badly for Jax, with his mom not calling on his birthday. I don't care how old you are; we still want our parents. My dad used to send me flowers every year on my birthday. We've been estranged almost 10 years; and I still get upset about it every year. Hopefully Jax and his mom can reconcile.

From what I can recall reading about their estrangement, Jax' parents were close to divorcing prior to his dad's cancer diagnosis. They stayed together through his cancer treatment. Jax' dad insisted on keeping the worst news of his declining condition from Jax and Jennaaaaaaaaayy (TM Brittany Gump). I suspect Jax thinks his mom should have pushed his dad to be more candid, but all of this is displaced anger--anger at his dad from keeping things from his kids and anger at himself for not putting in more effort to find out how his dad was doing.

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It pains me to say this, but I was totally on James's side about the Girls Night In thing. She's not cool with him reconciling with Lala, so he rips up the letter to Randall. But she doesn't want to show any loyalty to him? That is pretty shitty, if you ask me. 

It was obnoxious and dumb. Plus she had dumbest blankest look on her face when James tried to point out that she was being an insensitive hypocrite. This is why folks think she's dumb.

Edited February 5, 2019 by HunterHunted

[Thumper]

24 minutes ago, Jel said:

Lala's train conductor hat is not making me like her more. 

Hate those hats.  Hated them in the 1960's-70's "Carnaby" era; hate them now.  

Edited February 5, 2019 by Thumper

[WhosThatGirl]

Again I still don’t get why they fake disinvited Kristen. I’m pretty sure it was for the show, I did some Instagram Investigating and I found this picture:

So either this picture she posted was the real grand opening. And maybe that’s it? The party tonight was just a pre opener party?  I don’t know.

But then Stassi posted this picture from the daily mail party and it has a different date than Kristen’s picture so maybe Kristen really was disinvited? Her picture also seems from a sort of grand opening event too, going to dig into more other cast members instagrams:

Edited February 5, 2019 by WhosThatGirl

[njbchlover]

2 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Again I still don’t get why they fake disinvited Kristen. I’m pretty sure it was for the show, I did some Instagram Investigating and I found this picture:

So either this picture she posted was the real grand opening. And maybe that’s it? The party tonight was just a pre opener? I don’t know.

The party shown tonight was not the grand opening~~it was a press party for DailyMailTV - Lisa kept saying that the "real work" of the actual opening was going to happen after this party.  I guess this was their "soft opening" - many restaurants do that to get a feel for what will work and what won't.  

If you look at this picture, Tom and Tom's outfits are different than the ones they were wearing at tonight's party.  (And, why do they have to dress like twins, anyway??)

[Pop Tart]

Things that made me laugh at the grand opening: 

• The Toms touching all their body parts with jalapeño juice on their hands.
• Schwatz scrubbing the toilets and opining thatthat will be his main job - to which I was nodding my head in agreement
• The Toms in their matching purple suits with orange shoes (truly the pan down to their shoes as they strutted out made me laugh out loud)
• Schwartz on quest to find aquafava (like wth?) and then on the floor in the kitchen opening cans of chickpeas and reassuring everyone (who didn’t seem to care one whit) that he’d brought more aquafava and all is well
• James sitting on toilet paper in a closet with occasional breaks to fix the fan and wave his hands in the window while all below completely ignored him
• That the sign on the outside lit in neon, looks like the name of the restaurant is TT.

There are probably a few others that I’m forgetting.

Oh and on another note: Who’s going to tell Billie that she’s not been invited on Lala’s GIRLS TRIP? 

Edited February 5, 2019 by Pop Tart

[wheresmypizza]

Jalapeno dick wasn't as funny as 'you dick-punched my heart', but it was pretty close.

Folks think Rachel is dumb because she is dumb.

This ep was refreshingly pretty much free of the thirsty af Billie.

[WhosThatGirl]

2 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

The party shown tonight was not the grand opening~~it was a press party for DailyMailTV - Lisa kept saying that the "real work" of the actual opening was going to happen after this party.  I guess this was their "soft opening" - many restaurants do that to get a feel for what will work and what won't.  

If you look at this picture, Tom and Tom's outfits are different than the ones they were wearing at tonight's party.  (And, why do they have to dress like twins, anyway??)

Yeah I was just about to edit my post to say this after looking at others cast members posts. I still think to disinvited her was kind ofstupid. Also Lisa’s hatred of Kristen is getting ridiculous.

[Pop Tart]

7 minutes ago, wheresmypizza said:

This ep was refreshingly pretty much free of the thirsty af Billie.

Agreed, felt the same way. Then I turned on WWHL and there she was, along with James and Raquel.

[LaLaLaLa]

Yes, Scheana can be a little (and a lot) annoying...and she's not "acting".

[itsadryheat]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

Also, James DJing from a top a pack of Quilted Northern in a closet will never not be awesome. 

OMG . . .  the elf on a shelf, Queen waving from the upstairs closet window, GOLDEN!

[LaLaLaLa]

I don't like Katie but I did like, "it will be like our Peach Pit."

[hoodooznoodooz]

“It’s, like, a two-hour drive, but I don’t really like being in a car that much.”

[LaLaLaLa]

Katie, you've been rude and aggressive to cast members (your "friends"). You're a hypocrite. Grow up, quit trying to play innocent victim, and remember "those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".

[ninjago]

43 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Lisa’s hatred of Kristen is getting ridiculous.

Lisa's hatred of Kristen is the only thing on this show that makes any sense.

[WhosThatGirl]

Just now, ninjago said:

Lisa's hatred of Kristen is the only thing on this show that makes any sense.

It’s getting tired. 

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, bagger said:

Does Katie do anything other than sit on her couch and rule over this little click of theirs? Damn Stassi for having quit and come back crawling to Katie. This is when Katie truly took over, damn Stassi! Ugh Katie has gotten away with murder and not a person calls her on anything!!!!! 

Someone on Reddit called Katie a  Hater (Couch) Potato and that's one of the most accurate name I've ever seen for her. When I looked a week ago or so, Katie hadn't updated Pucker and Pout for more than 6 months. She barely works at SUR even when they are filming. I've seen reviews of TomTom that mention regularly seeing Sandoval and Ariana working there. Sandoval is still doing a regular weekly shift/event at SUR now. Some reviews of TomTom occasionally mention Schwartz. I don't think anyone has seen Katie there besides on opening night. She doesn't work on her blog. She doesn't really work at her "job." She doesn't seem to help out at her husband's "business." What the fuck does this unpleasant sea slug do all fucking day? It sure as shit looks like she does fucking nothing and waits for someone like James to say something nasty/shady so that she can finally be motivated enough to get off of the damn couch.

[rustyspigot]

2 minutes ago, ninjago said:

Lisa's hatred of Kristen is the only thing on this show that makes any sense.

Right? That scene with Schwartz, DJ James, and Raquel made no damn sense. Why are they hanging out all of a sudden? They ditched the apology letter plot and tried to start something else?

[LaLaLaLa]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

It pains me to say this, but I was totally on James's side about the Girls Night In thing. She's not cool with him reconciling with Lala, so he rips up the letter to Randal. But she doesn't want to show any loyalty to him? That is pretty shitty, if you ask me. 

Agreed...that was not a good look for Raquel. 

[ninjago]

4 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

It’s getting tired. 

But I think Lisa legitimately, actively dislikes her, not just "doesn't like her" for the show.  I'm surprised Kristen is even allowed on the show.

[WhosThatGirl]

2 minutes ago, ninjago said:

But I think Lisa legitimately, actively dislikes her, not just "doesn't like her" for the show.  I'm surprised Kristen is even allowed on the show.

Yeah, I agree but it also kind of makes me sad because I do think at times Kristen Genuinely wants Lisa to like her, like a couple seasons ago she and Stassi went to the dog event and it was that season when Ajax talked about brittany and Kristen hooking up and Lisa blurted that out as soon as they said hello to her and she got some glee in Embarrassing Kristen in front of people. It makes Lisa look childish.

[ninjago]

5 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Yeah, I agree but it also kind of makes me sad because I do think at times Kristen Genuinely wants Lisa to like her, like a couple seasons ago she and Stassi went to the dog event and it was that season when Ajax talked about brittany and Kristen hooking up and Lisa blurted that out as soon as they said hello to her and she got some glee in Embarrassing Kristen in front of people. It makes Lisa look childish.

Lisa is kind of nasty and mean, especially to people who piss her off.    I think Kristen mainly wants Lisa to stop keeping her out of her home and restaurants, relegating her to the B-storylines.  

I also think it's funny Kristen said Lisa was "obsessed" with her, when Kristen is the one who keeps hanging around Lisa, pouting and trying to be let in, and Lisa just seems to want Kristen to fuck off and leave her alone.

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, Pop Tart said:

• Schwartz on quest to find aquafava (like wth?) and then on the floor in the kitchen opening cans of chickpeas and reassuring everyone (who didn’t seem to care one whit) that he’d brought more aquafava and all is well

Aquafaba

https://minimalistbaker.com/a-guide-to-aquafaba/

Doesn't it seem like it would make way more sense to refill the individual isi whipper canisters instead of a massive cambro that you still need to run an immersion blender through and still have to portion out to the individual bartending stations. I'm hoping this was just for this party because it's a ridiculous set up if you're regularly making a drink that calls for whipped aquafaba.

[bichonblitz]

I continue to like James. What is wrong with me?

I wish Stassi would stop waving her hands around every time she talks. It's annoying.

Edited February 5, 2019 by bichonblitz

[SarahPrtr]

2 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Yeah, I agree but it also kind of makes me sad because I do think at times Kristen Genuinely wants Lisa to like her, like a couple seasons ago she and Stassi went to the dog event and it was that season when Ajax talked about brittany and Kristen hooking up and Lisa blurted that out as soon as they said hello to her and she got some glee in Embarrassing Kristen in front of people. It makes Lisa look childish.

IKR???  I'm like, woman, you're almost SIXTY years old!!!

[Duke2801]

Yes it’s sad Jax lost his dad, and yes the first milestone events (like birthdays) after you’ve lost someone are tough. However, I can only imagine how terribly Jax probably spoke to his mother off-camera for her to be acting so cold to her now. Of course all we’re hearing is his version of the story, in which he is the victim. 

 

3 hours ago, ninjago said:

Lisa's hatred of Kristen is the only thing on this show that makes any sense.

IKR?! I live for Lisa’s petty hatred of Kristin. 

 

4 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

 

It was obnoxious and dumb. Plus she had dumbest blankest look on her face when James tried to point out that she was being an insensitive hypocrite. This is why folks think she's dumb.

No scoops for you Racquel! Time for another viewing of Winnie The Poo...

[WhosThatGirl]

2 hours ago, SarahPrtr said:

IKR???  I'm like, woman, you're almost SIXTY years old!!!

Yeah, she says a lot of terrible and rude things but it just gets blown past. I don’t know why she’s allowed to make crude comments and jokes. 

[LibertarianSlut]

Was I the only one whose episode of VanderPump Rules that was preempted by an informercial for Tom Tom?

[Drogo]

8 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

What the fuck does this unpleasant sea slug do all fucking day?

I was going to comment on this episode but I can't come close to the brilliance that is this sentence so I'm backing away in shame and maybe I'll come back in a few hours and not read it again.

[Kiki777]

4 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Yeah, she says a lot of terrible and rude things but it just gets blown past. I dont know why shes allowed to make crude comments and jokes.

"Because I'm BRITT-ISH, it's my HUMOR!"

Ugh.  I'm not one to agree with Erika Jayne but LVP really is a sniper from the side.

Lala needs to get pregnant fast so she can get some of that $$$ even after Randal leaves her for the next hottest young thing.

[Mr. Miner]

9 hours ago, Pop Tart said:

Agreed, felt the same way. Then I turned on WWHL and there she was, along with James and Raquel.

3 twats on a couch.

[ghoulina]

10 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

That was hilarious. Though I have to quasi commend his professionalism because he didn't call attention to the inadequacies of the set up. He'd run back to the booth, do a little fist pumping, hype the crowd, and the crowd had no clue.

That made me love it even more. James can be a drunken asshole. He says a lot of horrible shit; and I don't always believe his apologies. But he's got hustle and he is not a complainer. He will make that shit work! I loved it. 

 

10 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

It was obnoxious and dumb. Plus she had dumbest blankest look on her face when James tried to point out that she was being an insensitive hypocrite. This is why folks think she's dumb.

Yup. They think she's dumb because she IS dumb. She just could not wrap her mind around the hypocrisy of the situation. I doubt she even knows what hypocrisy means. 

 

10 hours ago, Pop Tart said:

Oh and on another note: Who’s going to tell Billie that she’s not been invited on Lala’s GIRLS TRIP? 

Oh my gosh. Can you imagine? The fall-out will last MONTHS. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

The TomTom decor does not impress me. The only thing I liked was the photo of Sandoval and Schwartz. 

The outdoor neon sign is lame. 

But what should I expect, from someone who chose to name her restaurant Sexy Unique Restaurant. 

And it’s strange to me that several of them were focused on how finally, now they all have a place to hang out and get s- - -faced. (Because there was nowhere they could do that before.) Yeah, that’s my first reaction when someone in my circle of friends collaborates with a millionaire to open a restaurant. 

[Misslindsey]

9 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I continue to like James. What is wrong with me?

 

I would not say I like James, but I do find him the most interesting to watch on this show. It is a low bar. I find James' family dynamics fascinating and would rather watch that than the TomTom infomercial.

I am one of the very few that prefer the people on the outside of the circle of friends to the actual friend circle. Though, I do not find any of the people on this show all that likable. I really would like a new group of people who are actually employed by one of the restaurants than this group with the same tired storylines.

[Carolina Girl]

Raquel confirmed for all of us tonight what we've long suspected and voiced - she's nothing more than the garden variety attention whore trying to get herself a spot and salary for being on the show.  "I was invited to Girl's Night Out" and I was going to go."  Lovely bitch - go and support the women who had your boyfriend booted (and I still don't find James 100% to blame for the remarks to the Couch Slug and her posse at Pride - THEY launched the first grenade as I recall).  You want to be part of the girl's group?  Terrific.  Loyalty isn't your strong suit; hypocrisy you've got down pat.  

And nice going Schwartz - relate all the details of the meeting to the folks and laugh about it -- AFTER you told James you would NOT do precisely that.  Personally, I think Schwartz is as much of a Slug as his wife.  I think once the place opened, he had no interest in actually working - on the "Vanderpumped" episode after, it was revealed that Sandoval and Arianna are often seen there working, but Schwartz and Katie aren't around.   

Lala doesn't like to spend two hours in a car?  Seriously?  What does she do?  Take a PJ from LAX to Burbank if she has to get around L.A?  People who have private jets and use private jets don't spend their time talking about private jets.  Hell, if you're going to use the jet and want to visit a winery - why not fly up to Napa - the airport there accommodates them.  Or even the Livermore valley - another terrific wine country venue in Northern California (BTW, it is a marvelous alternative to Napa as it's not nearly as jammed up on the roads on the weekend).  

Kristen is never going to get Lisa to like her; not after (1) that scene she created and the dissing of the manager and (2) the disrespect she showed in crashing the party at LISA's house that they were not invited to.  I honestly think she wanted her booted off the show but the other cast members probably begged her to allow her to stay.   The Toms, however, should never have invited anyone to a party that was being paid for a thrown by a third party, and in any case, being new to the milieu, should have asked Lisa what the protocols were - could they invite spouses?  And here I'm going to fault Lisa as well - she should have taken them aside ahead of time and told them - "This is NOT our party - it is being paid for by the Daily Mail.  You can invite Katie and Arianna and that's it.  Your friends should not be drinking on the client's dime."  

And finally Jax?  You weren't going upstairs to get something to eat - you went up there to annoy and harass James, hoping to prod him into a reaction.  It's time for you shitbags to leave him alone.    He was doing an excellent job with a very very limited set up (and nice going Schwartz-Slug, calling it his "time-out room"; any other DJ would have told you they couldn't work like this and walked out; James made it work; meanwhile, you and the coven have a few more laughs at his expense).  

[Mr. Miner]

8 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

And it’s strange to me that several of them were focused on how finally, now they all have a place to hang out and get s- - -faced.

Yeah, nothing says hangout like $15 cocktails.

[bichonblitz]

10 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

What the fuck does this unpleasant sea slug do all fucking day?

Well, she did invent Girls Night Out. Ha!!! What a joke. So who pays for all those drinks we see the girls standing on and behind the bar randomly pouring in all those shot glasses for anyone and everyone? Free drinks all night? Yea, right. 

Stassi is really impressed with Lala. Taking a jet to Solvang! Please. Calm down, Stas. It's not the French Riviera or Milan. Then Stas drunkenly sits there and proclaims how awesome and cool their group is.  It doesn't take much for these chucklefucks. 

Edited February 5, 2019 by bichonblitz
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