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S02.E07: Rings and Runaways

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Michael ring shops with his wife, but plans a secret trip with girlfriend. Clint marries bride Tracie, but he awakens to a nightmare. Matt shocks Caitlin on their first date, when his rebellious move goes too far. Marcelino fears being a stepdad.

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It's FRIDAY FRIDAY everybody get down on FRIDAY - fun fun fun fun!  (sorry I've been singing the Rebecca Black classic all morning)

I'm just excited for my favorite show.

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This is the first time I got to watch this show live in all it's glory. 

At first I felt bad for Clint. But he had been warned repeatedly and chose to ignore the red flags... and now he says he wants to stay with her!?!

Virgin Megan is so smug that I look forward to her finding out Michael is married. But even though she tries to act tough, I bet she'll end up making excuses for him so she can stay with him.

Sarah (Michael's wife) has youth and long blonde hair on her side, but you can see her face is kind of fug and her looks aren't going to last. She sounds so foolish when she amps up the "blackcent".  She is annoying but that doesn't make it right for Michael to treat her that way. Their poor little girl was trying to get attention and they were ignoring her, I hope she doesn't end up pregnant again.

Matt is useless, he is happy to have his mom and Caitlin take care of him as long as he doesn't have to do anything in return.  As somebody else here said I keep seeing Maci from Teen Mom when I look at Caitlin. I hope she does realize he is not husband/father material. And I'm sure he has dined and ditched before.

Brittany is smart enough but seems like the type who seeks out trouble. She lost points with me when I found out she has such a young son, these people are more interested in getting laid than the poor kids they left behind. There is something about Marcelino I don't like, maybe it's the way he speaks like he thinks he is so intelligent.

No Lizzie and Scott this week?

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Michael is a coward and a sociopath. He has to start a fight with his wife in front of his kid so he can leave? Just LEAVE asshole. They’re better off WITHOUT YOU. Sarah says Michael doesn’t show emotions. Yeah, we know. He’s a sociopath. And Megan  grinning like a cat that ate the canary. She’s old enough to know what Michael will do with her he will do TO her. After he leaves blondie, Megan will be the one crying begging for emotions because he will be setting up his next jump off. This show is becoming not so fun anymore. Kinda disturbed with a couple storylines  

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Wow! This was a dramatic episode. Poor dumb Clint should have high tailed it outta there when she was 1 hour late, reported his cards stolen, and gone back to mama. I feel so bad for him - as they say, that boy ain’t right.

Little balless twirp Michael- why the hell were you even in a jewelry store if “Megan your Queen?” I think he’s too afraid of Sarah’s temper. He can’t man up and tell her the truth, so he starts a fight so he can leave?

Matt saying food was going to dribble out his tooth hole was the only thing that made me smile on this episode. Caitlin can do better than this grifter. I like her.

Edited by vintagesac
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Had to have 15 minutes of quiet time to recover. 

At first I felt a little sorry for megan. Not anymore. If she doesn't have any more self respect, she deserves what she gets. Michael is a piece of work. Where is his money coming from for the driver, ring, hotel........  @Cammi I'm with you on her smugness. Kinda looking forward to her coming down a peg or twelve. 

Clint, just go home to Mama. That's where you need to be. 

I really hadn't thought much about Matt until this episode. Wow. I really, really don't like him.

I miss Lizzie  and Scott. 

Edited by Reality police
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I didn’t feel bad for Clint.  If he couldn’t tell that woman was an addict then I don’t know what to say.  The woman had Addict written all over her face.

How is Megan smug?  Is it smug to think highly of yourself?   I think she’s a fool.  To her it’s a competition, she wants to be able to say, “ I got him!”  Someone please tell me why Michael is such a catch, I don’t see it.  He’s not attractive and he’s stupid.  Michael isn’t a sociopath, not every behavior demands a diagnosis, he’s a guy who gets off on women fighting over him.  He likes that two women are into him.  Ugh.

Edited by Neurochick
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4 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I didn’t feel bad for Clint.  If he couldn’t tell that woman was an addict then I don’t know what to say.  The woman had Addict written all over her face.

What do you mean Megan is smug?  I think she’s a fool.  To her it’s a competition, she wants to be able to say, “ I got him!”  Someone please tell me why Michael is such a catch, I don’t see it.  He’s not attractive and he’s stupid.  Michael isn’t a sociopath, not every behavior demands a diagnosis, he’s a guy who gets off on women fighting over him.  He likes that two women are into him.  Ugh.

I bet the pot Megan knows all about the wife. HAS to. Otherwise a normal girlfriend would be pissed waiting two weeks to see her man after he got out. She’s no innocent. That’s why she’s smirking. Thinking she won a prize. Some women love to think they got something over on another woman. “Trifling” as we say in the south. 

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2 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

TOOTH HOLE. I died. I can only hope Lizzie says the same to Scott next week.

That would be Tooth Canyon in Scott’s case.

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So I'm a newbie here.  I'm all caught up now.  All I can say is wow.  How desperate do you have to be to troll inmate websites for your "soulmate"?  I guess this show answers THAT question.

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12 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

How is Megan smug?

She thinks she is better than his child's mother and to me she comes off as gloating like she "won" when in reality he is no prize.

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Just now, toodles said:

So I'm a newbie here.  I'm all caught up now.  All I can say is wow.  How desperate do you have to be to troll inmate websites for your "soulmate"?  I guess this show answers THAT question.

Glad you are here. 

44007377.png

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37 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Matt's mom isn't a maid, she just plays one on TV. 

 I was yelling at my TV! why on earth did she do either of their laundry???  My parents stopped doing my laundry when I turned 11.  Did they somehow hold a gun to her head and force her to do the laundry?  If not, just leave it there on the floor and when they are naked and dirty maybe they’ll finally get the hint and do their own laundry.  Maybe if you hadn’t coddled your son his entire life he wouldn’t be a 12 time felon!!

On another note I wanted to smack the story out of Clint’s mouth. Just tell us what happened you moron! Stop crying and report your car, phone, and credit card stolen. 

 How has that crybaby managed to find three women to marry??

Edited by PityFree
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Spit food out of your tooth hole

So dribbled beer down my chin on that one...

I just noticed that Brittany needs some serious dental work/help... Marcelino is a dick

Edited by Mahamid Frauded Me · Reason: got the felons name wrong
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Clint thought Tracie was just gonna smoke a little crack, but then he realized she had disappeared and he was like MORE???? Yknow and THAT'S what really broke his heart cause like......more???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Why in the hell is Matt's mom doing Caitlin and Matt's laundry? Even folding her panties?? 

I must say, I think Tracie looks pretty at the "ceremony". Her hair and makeup look a lot better than previous episodes; her dress is a bit flashy with her upper thigh showing but it is still a nice dress. 

I am just watching it now so I'll probably be back to snark later.

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Every time Matt's in a talking head I think I'm watching "I Almost Got Away With It."

When I heard Clint sobbing to his mother and the words preceding "crack" were bleeped out, my first thought was that he finally noticed how Tracie's lycra dress tends to ride up.

An uneven episode overall, not much to see.

Edited by millennium
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33 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

Why in the hell is Matt's mom doing Caitlin and Matt's laundry? Even folding her panties?? 

I must say, I think Tracie looks pretty at the "ceremony". Her hair and makeup look a lot better than previous episodes; her dress is a bit flashy with her upper thigh showing but it is still a nice dress. 

I am just watching it now so I'll probably be back to snark later.

I noticed that Tracie still had on her hot pink bra. Wonder how many days she wore it before it got washed. Maybe she needs to stay with Matt's mom.

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3 minutes ago, Reality police said:

I noticed that Tracie still had on her hot pink bra. Wonder how many days she wore it before it got washed. Maybe she needs to stay with Matt's mom.

Lmao! I did wonder in the back of my mind if she has showered yet. On this show and on 90 DF, the shower scenes seem pretty common (even if it is just the audio - barf) but they haven't shown her wandering into the bathroom and turning on the shower.

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2 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

This is the first time I got to watch this show live in all it's glory. 

At first I felt bad for Clint. But he had been warned repeatedly and chose to ignore the red flags... and now he says he wants to stay with her!?!

Virgin Megan is so smug that I look forward to her finding out Michael is married. But even though she tries to act tough, I bet she'll end up making excuses for him so she can stay with him.

Sarah (Michael's wife) has youth and long blonde hair on her side, but you can see her face is kind of fug and her looks aren't going to last. She sounds so foolish when she amps up the "blackcent".  She is annoying but that doesn't make it right for Michael to treat her that way. Their poor little girl was trying to get attention and they were ignoring her, I hope she doesn't end up pregnant again.

Matt is useless, he is happy to have his mom and Caitlin take care of him as long as he doesn't have to do anything in return.  As somebody else here said I keep seeing Maci from Teen Mom when I look at Caitlin. I hope she does realize he is not husband/father material. And I'm sure he has dined and ditched before.

Brittany is smart enough but seems like the type who seeks out trouble. She lost points with me when I found out she has such a young son, these people are more interested in getting laid than the poor kids they left behind. There is something about Marcelino I don't like, maybe it's the way he speaks like he thinks he is so intelligent.

No Lizzie and Scott this week?

We got plenty of shots of Brittany’s lower teeth and did anyone notice that she has huge gaps between each of them?  It’s almost a jack o’ lantern effect.

 

I’m sure it’s not just a smile that Clint wants to put on Tracie’s face.  And did that country bar cater to seniors?  

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1 hour ago, Cammi said:

I think Clint totally did crack with Tracie on their wedding night. He told his Mom she left to get more, but he didn’t do any. Sure, Jan. But I was sad for him when immediately following their wedding ceremony in the car she said she needed a drink. Like she couldn’t handle the reality of being married to him? He’s just very..... slow maybe? 

She needed a drink just to listen to Clint talk about sex.  RAISE your hand if you think Tracie will blow for a hit.  [raises both hands and waves them]

1 hour ago, PityFree said:

I was yelling at my TV! why on earth did she do either of their laundry???  My parents stopped doing my laundry when I turned 11.

In our family it was 10 and you were assigned your own laundry night.  The kids took turns with the family towels.

40 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

Even folding her panties?? 

OK, that's where I draw the icky line.  I would be embarrassed to have another adult fold my panties.  I might just shove them into the panties drawer but I am washing, drying and shoving my own.

How can we find out if Megan paid for her own "surprise" trip???????????????????????????????  She had to.  Michael is such a dick.  He says he outgrew Sarah and then immediately says he needs to pick a fight to get away.

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2 hours ago, vintagesac said:

Wow! This was a dramatic episode. Poor dumb Clint should have high tailed it outta there when she was 1 hour late, reported his cards stolen, and gone back to mama. I feel so bad for him - as they say, that boy ain’t right.

Little balless twirp Michael- why the hell were you even in a jewelry store if “Megan your Queen?” I think he’s too afraid of Sarah’s temper. He can’t man up and tell her the truth, so he starts a fight so he can leave?

Matt saying food was going to dribble out his tooth hole was the only thing that made me smile on this episode. Caitlin can do better than this grifter. I like her.

Jewelry must be too big a word for him.  He called it the ring store.

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2 minutes ago, jumper sage said:

She needed a drink just to listen to Clint talk about sex.  RAISE your hand if you think Tracie will blow for a hit.  [raises both hands and waves them]

In our family it was 10 and you were assigned your own laundry night.  The kids took turns with the family towels.

OK, that's where I draw the icky line.  I would be embarrassed to have another adult fold my panties.  I might just shove them into the panties drawer but I am washing, drying and shoving my own.

How can we find out if Megan paid for her own "surprise" trip???????????????????????????????  She had to.  Michael is such a dick.  He says he outgrew Sarah and then immediately says he needs to pick a fight to get away.

Normally I don't like people to do my laundry simply because some things need to be hung to dry, but I would never ever allow anyone to touch underthings. Did that poor mom load Caitlin's dirty panties into the washer? Just gross. I hope she wore gloves. And a hazmat suit. 

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2 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Sponge-bob announcer voiceover: 5 hours later... Clint and the minister are still waiting in the middle of the country and western bar waiting for Tracey to show up. Guess they should have given up earlier. Clint thinks they should consummate the marriage but Tracey wants to celebrate with crack...then disappears to get more crack. Oh, boy. Who didn’t see this coming? She couldn’t even make it one night. This suddenly makes Jay on 90 Day Fiancé look like husband of the year making it 3 days without cheating. Well, maybe not husband of the year, but husband of the almost half a week.

Meanwhile, Matt is juuuust barely not doing meth because meth makes him feel superior—well, he’s already superior, he just feels even more superior on meth. Bwhaha. Superior. I bet he’s a very stable genius, too. Line of the night goes to Caitlyn: “Put your napkin in your lap to catch any food that goes flying out your tooth hole.” TOOTH HOLE. I died. I can only hope Lizzie says the same to Scott next week.

Michael and Sarah fighting with Pretty Girl in the backseat saying, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!..” nonstop for 5 minutes straight. Then suddenly they’re “still driving” and fighting and Pretty Girl is totally missing! Jeez, talk about ignoring your kid! Is Pretty Girl the baby in a car seat that fell out of the moving car the other day and the driver didn’t even know and totally drove away! Jeez, people put up better barriers to protect food from falling out tooth holes than they do protecting their own kids from falling out of cars. Don’t worry, Pretty Girl, we’re coming for you!

They stopped and left her with her grandma.  Then as soon as the child was out of the car Sarah started to try to speak “urban.”

1 hour ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Clint thought Tracie was just gonna smoke a little crack, but then he realized she had disappeared and he was like MORE???? Yknow and THAT'S what really broke his heart cause like......more???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Like every crackhead she probably told him that she needed just one little hit to take the edge off.  And he believed it.

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So glad u guys are saying Tooth Hole. When I watched it I thought she said Toot Hole and I thought, how is a napkin on your lap gonna help with poop falling out your bum? 

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I don't know how Tracie goes on a crack binge and doesn't get sent back to jail.  Or some of the others, for associating with felons, imbibing alcohol, etc.

Most of them will probably never make it no matter what, but I wonder if this show is hastening their demise by placing them in stressful, unfamiliar situations surrounded by temptations.

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3 minutes ago, millennium said:

I don't know how Tracie goes on a crack binge and doesn't get sent back to jail.  Or some of the others, for associating with felons, imbibing alcohol, etc.

Most of them will probably never make it no matter what, but I wonder if this show is hastening their demise by placing them in stressful, unfamiliar situations surrounded by temptations.

I've wondered if the entire thing is a script and production gets permission ahead of time for all the made-up drama. Because no way would any of these tools be free out on the street if they are really doing what is being portrayed on the show. Someone else on here said that there is no way to prove the drinking and drugs are authentic, so they cannot get in trouble; all they have to say is they poured apple juice into a Corona bottle for the show, etc. 

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The whole dine-and-dash scenario HAD to be set up, right? No way was Matt actually going to run out on the bill while being filmed, and I doubt he pulled his "joke" without the knowledge and cooperation of the camerapeople. It's not that far a step to think the idea might have been "suggested" to him by production to fuck with Caitlyn and/or we the audience.

Clint: No words. The boy ain't right.

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32 minutes ago, bref said:

The whole dine-and-dash scenario HAD to be set up, right? No way was Matt actually going to run out on the bill while being filmed, and I doubt he pulled his "joke" without the knowledge and cooperation of the camerapeople. It's not that far a step to think the idea might have been "suggested" to him by production to fuck with Caitlyn and/or we the audience.

Clint: No words. The boy ain't right.

I typed that same thing about the dine and dash as I was watching the show...total bullshit...then he was all "just kidding!" (as though Cait would have followed through with it anyway) so yes, it was absolutely scripted and once the scene was over, I deleted the post I was typing because the whole scene was just so stupid. Does Matt own any other shirts than the white wife beater and the long sleeved oversized button up shirt? It seems like he wears one/both of those in every episode. 

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Dear Clint, yes you did do some things wrong, like marry a felon a day after her release.  

Please tell me that Niagra Falls is a cool thug hangout now.  Think of all that water and all those baggy pants...

Dear Matt's mom, don't do the laundry of grown ass adults.

Megan does come across as extremely smug.  But something is obviously off if she's so eager to share such personal details of her life on TV.

Marcellino wants nothing to do with children, full stop.  Brittney and her flawless logic, (so don't drink all the time and be crappy), had no place in his world.

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I wanted Matt to really skip out on the meal, not go back and pay for it. I wanted him to be arrested right then and there so Caitlin could buy a clue and get rid of his ass.

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Is Marcellino admitting that he turned out damaged and trying to blame it on a poor male role model? Or does he think the Marines made him “a man” and boys that don’t join the military never recover?

I was pleasantly surprised that Sarah lives in Farmington and they were driving past actual farms.

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36 minutes ago, LunaMia said:

So according to Marcellino, women can’t rasie men. I guess the millions of men who have been raised by single mothers because their dad left, aren’t real men. I’m sure President Obama feels differently. Marcellino gives me misogynistic vibes on top of all his other personality traits.

Clint is a dumb moron who I have zero pity for. His mom is also a moron for enabling that man baby. 

So Caitlin bitches about Matt being lazy and not wanting to do work, yet let’s his mother wash her dingy ass flossers. His mom that is letting them live there without paying I’m sure. 

Poor Sarah, she looks exactly like the bully Francis from the Pee Wee Herman movie. “I know you are, but what am I.”

Yeah Caitlin is “between employment,” which is a euphemism like domestic engineer. She can get her ass a job and quit complaining  that she’s broke.  But if she were working she couldn’t count how many beers Matt consumed.

i couldn’t place who Sarah reminded me of but I think you nailed it.  He was that marionette in a western shirt.  He was on the tv show Pee Wee’s Playhouse as well.  It’s that pugnacious square jaw.  And what’s with her Village People cop giant mirrored sunglasses?

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9 hours ago, jumper sage said:

OK, that's where I draw the icky line.  I would be embarrassed to have another adult fold my panties.  I might just shove them into the panties drawer but I am washing, drying and shoving my own.

 

 

We had to use my mother in law's washer and dryer one time because ours wasn't working. She switched the laundry from the washer to the dryer for me and I felt weird about even having her do that!

Matt is a piece of garbage. How much more trashy can you get than him drinking beer in a lawn chair while wearing a wife beater and surrounded by weeds? It's an impending train wreck with these two and I'm here for it. Oh, and she has the nerve to act surprised that a 12 time felon may  not be a good father figure. Get out of here with that shit.

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Do not post about the spoiler threads in the episode thread. 

If someone wants to read the couple's spoiler threads, they'll do that on their own. 

Posts have been removed. 

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Sarah: "Michael doesn't like confrontation, he doesn't like emotions, he doesn't like talking, he doesn't like any human interaction."

You forgot "Michael doesn't like me."

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5 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

I typed that same thing about the dine and dash as I was watching the show...total bullshit...then he was all "just kidding!" (as though Cait would have followed through with it anyway) so yes, it was absolutely scripted and once the scene was over, I deleted the post I was typing because the whole scene was just so stupid. Does Matt own any other shirts than the white wife beater and the long sleeved oversized button up shirt? It seems like he wears one/both of those in every episode. 

It's hard to dine and dash with a camera crew.  That was just ridiculous.  And yet it seems like Caitlin is starting to notice that Matt is not the greatest guy ever.  You know, until he's filling up her belly with babies again. I think she said she quit her job so she move in with Matt.  She is making all the best life choices.  Matt has zero redeeming qualities. But don't worry.  As he told us, he thrives wherever he is. 

I assume Matt has so few clothes because the 12 time felon's mom realizes it's not worth buying him anything when his home time is so much shorter than his prison stints.  One  pair of pants could last him 20 years.

I think we learned this episode that Clint has previously spent some quality time with crack,  Don't worry, mom, he didn't do it. He just got it for his crack head wife who is back on the street in her long, sparkly gown being nice to the gentleman so they'll be nice to her and give her money for crack.  I may change her name to Fancy.

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13 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

 She is annoying but that doesn't make it right for Michael to treat her that way. Their poor little girl was trying to get attention and they were ignoring her, I hope she doesn't end up pregnant again.

The poor little girl was trying to distract them from fighting.  So great than N days out of jail and she's already taking responsibility for her parents relationship.  Really healthy environment.  Hope she stays with Grandma and Grandpa full-time.

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11 hours ago, millennium said:

Every time Matt's in a talking head I think I'm watching "I Almost Got Away With It."

When I heard Clint sobbing to his mother and the words preceding "crack" were bleeped out, my first thought was that he finally noticed how Tracie's lycra dress tends to ride up.

An uneven episode overall, not much to see.

I had not thought of this but holy cow you are spot on and I can’t stop laughing. 

I think Clint smoked crack. Possibly for the first time.  His demeanor and reactions were so strange- even for him.  But yeah bud, when an addict gets a taste they’ll hit the streets for more.  These people get involved with additcted felons but it’s like they assume they’ll come out reformed and wholesome. Hell they could watch a few Interventions as a crash course to prepare for release. The naiveness/stupidity on this show is scary. 

I do have compassion for Caitlin. She wants a normal relationship but again, expects a twelve time felon to live up to the demand.  Im sure Matt thought she was cute which she is (though looks have gone down since release) but I wish he had passed on her knowing he has no intent to be a responsible adult. Silly of me on that wish, I know.  

Michael acting as if he’s in a unique situation that requires tactical moves and missions makes me exhausted. I care so little about those three but do have an investment in that ridiculously cute child and want only good for her. 

I think you can in possible slang or maybe it’s a real term “flatten your bid”  where you don’t use good time, etc and release without probation or parole. I wonder if maybe some of them did that hence the on camera drinking, etc. Otherwise I’m at a loss for words if they’re violating on tv. 

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The laundry thing had enabler written all over it. This is why Matt never bothers putting effort into life, and if he’s 30 and his mom is still doing everything for him, he’s missing out on self-sufficiency and confidence that comes from doing things himself. My mom also did everything for me, but damned if my kids weren’t doing all their own laundry by the time they were eight. You’re old enough to reach the top? Great!

It angers me that Caitlin moved in with Matt’s mom and thinks it’s princess time. How about she shows her gratitude by doing that laundry and some cooking, since she obviously can’t pay rent. Get your skank ass out of the wheelbarrow, and help Toofless Toddler over there trying to windmill his way through the “daffodils” which are actually dandelions. 

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Was it Mom’s credit card Matt and Caitlin were dining on?

I hope Sarah takes her daughter far, far away from Michael. But she won’t, she’s a much of an idiot as Megan is.

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So many questions...

How do you have a 3 year old child when you've been in prison for 7 (or was it 8) years?

Who is dumb enough to finance a half hour limo drive for penniless Michael to impress Queen Megan? For that matter, how divorced from reality do you have to be to think penniless Michael can buy you a $2K ring, Sarah? 

Who knew you could rent out a Golden Corral for a wedding party?! (j/k, but that's what it looked like) How wasted were the wedding guests after waiting 5 HOURS for the ceremony to start? (I loved the way nobody stopped conversing to hear the wedding vows being said!) 

2 hours ago, LunaMia said:

I guess the millions of men who have been raised by single mothers because their dad left, aren’t real men. I’m sure President Obama feels differently.

I think he was raised by his grandparents, mostly. I assume that's what has happened to Brittany's kid up til now, as well.

I have to say that, as a gardener, my favorite line from this entire show has to be from Matt, outside angrily whacking down weeds in his Mom's backyard: "F _ _ _ing daffodils"!

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I had to stop and get gas and as I was pulling in I mumbled to myself, gotta fill this belly up with babies...I will never be able to drive past a Shell station again without laughing

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 One of the funniest things about this episode had to be watching Tracy (who weighs twice what Clint does) jumping into Clint’s arms and then seeing him stumble and struggle to carry her across the parking lot. 

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