19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[OSM Mom]

They don't use disposable diapers probably for the same reason they don't use regular dishes and only use paper plates and disposable silverware etc... They're trying to send as much to the landfill as possible.

[PinkSprinkles]

I'm glad they don't do cloth diapers because it would be one more job for the J'Slaves or Grandma to do. 

[PecanSandie]

At one time Anna used cloth diapers. 

[natyxg]

I am really disturbed by the Duggar's dating rituals, specially the way they make everything into a sexual thing. Wanna stay virgins until marriage? Okay, nothing wrong with that. Wanna have chaperones to make sure they stay virgins? Okay.

 

But what the fuck is the no kissing thing? There is nothing wrong with a kiss, it's not like it will lead to more, given that they're always surrounded by people. And what the fuck are those side hugs? Is it because with front hugs the girls breasts will brush up on the boys and the boys' junk can brush up to them? OMG who thinks about that? I have hugged men and women all my life, like normal people do, and I swear this is the first time I have even thought about something like that. Does the same rule apply to members of the family? Can they not hug each other properly? Do they even kiss each other on the cheek? What the fuck?

 

They want to come across as prudes, but really, they're the big pervs, giving sexual connotations to even the most innocent things, as if we're animals that can't help ourselves when it comes to sex. Ewww.

Edited June 23, 2014 by natyxg

[PinkSprinkles]

I believe siblings are not allowed to frontal hug. 

[Vincom]

The standards "Jill and Dill set" were set for them years ago by Gothard. Notice that their rules were the exact ones set by Josh and Anna, David & Priscilla, and the ones currently in place for Jessa & Ben? But the Duggars are slowly de-Gothardizing (it'll take them a long time since they're not what you would call analytical), now that the little man is thoroughly disgraced and his teachings are being trashed. It will take a very long time for the brainwashing to dissipate, but when it does, the Duggars will be much more ordinary Christians. 

[PecanSandie]

The thing about Gothard, I suspect Jim Bob is very afraid of disconnecting from Gothard even though Gothard's sexual perversion is now known. He claimed to one audience in a book signing interview that they didn't follow Gothard, but shortly after that he and Michelle spoke at Gothards biggest homeschool meeting in Big Sandy, TX.

And if you ask me, Gil Bates has spiritual blood on his hands for being on Gothards board of directors and allowing Gothard to get away with his sex abuse.

I wish Bill Gothard's victims would start a silent protest at every single Duggar and Bates wedding from here on out.

[PinkSprinkles]

At one time Anna used cloth diapers. 

 

As a basis for why it was okay for her to drive a gas-guzzling Hummer. ;-) 

[natyxg]

I believe siblings are not allowed to frontal hug. 

 

Good God. No parent-child frontal hugs either? What about kissing each other on the cheek or something?

Edited June 24, 2014 by natyxg

[Lillybee]

I hate that the kids are treated as an unit. No individuality allowed.

[mimionthebeach]

Good God. No parent-child frontal hugs either? What about kissing each other on the cheek or something?

It's creepy. Physical affection is such a normal thing. When my youngest was 2 she decided she didn't want to hug anyone who wanted to hug her (pure power play). I told her kids need hugs and kisses to grow up healthy so she relented. We're a very huggy family. Can't imagine life without that contact. It's unnatural!

[luvbadtv]

Good God. No parent-child frontal hugs either? What about kissing each other on the cheek or something?

 

My 17 year old son and I make fun of the side-hug all the time.  The thought of a frontal hug with 80+ year old grandma being inappropriate is both laughable and perverted.

[DangerousMinds]

I'm wondering about the food requests - I know that LDS (Mormons) are either encouraged or required to keep enough supplies, including food, to get through a year in case of a catastrophe. My cousin is LDS, and when we visited him and his family, they had an entire room in the basement set aside to store non-perishable food. They have 6 children, so it was a very large food cache.

 

If the Gothardites have similar beliefs, that might put the food and duct tape requests into a different context, because a young couple really would need large quantities of such things starting out.

I would hope in the case of stockpiling food/water, that the food would be nourishing. That wouldn't include much candy or soda.

[Bella]

I would agree, @DangerousMinds , but I'm not sure that the Duggards have the same concerns or the same definition of "nourishing." 

[DangerousMinds]

If the boys from puberty on out are sharing rooms/beds with the other boys and are NOT washing their own bedding, that completely grosses me out and bothers me.

[Jynnan tonnix]

It surprises me not even a tiny bit that anyone who could come up with rules this stringent governing all human expressions of affection would be someone who had their own struggles with perversion.

[LazyToaster]

Absolutely Jynnan! Reminds me of an old proverb I read once, something along the lines of "only a man who has hidden under beds looks to see if someone is hiding under the bed."

[PecanSandie]

Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled.

Titus 1:15.

[NikSac]

I would hope in the case of stockpiling food/water, that the food would be nourishing. That wouldn't include much candy or soda.

 

Supposedly they add vitamins and calcium to a bunch of the junk food cereal these days right?  Does that make the air/sugar combo count as nourishing?

[PinkSprinkles]

I hate that the kids are treated as an unit. No individuality allowed.

 

Hey! They ARE individuals! Every kid has their own pickle preference for goodness sake. ;-) 

[barbedwire]

I hate that they are constantly late just about everywhere they go.  If they were such good managers of their home they could get themselves on time to places.  They make the commitment, then can't even bother being on time.  Others have to wait for them and they just joke about it.  They should be red-faced and apologizing.  Consider others better - not them!

[lottiedottie]

It's creepy. Physical affection is such a normal thing. When my youngest was 2 she decided she didn't want to hug anyone who wanted to hug her (pure power play). I told her kids need hugs and kisses to grow up healthy so she relented. We're a very huggy family. Can't imagine life without that contact. It's unnatural!

I was thinking about this today--my kids are 12 and 9 and they are very affectionate, asking for hugs frequently during the day. Kisses too! I can't imagine not allowing hugs and kisses! Physical contact is important to human development--every time I see these people do their goofy side hug, they all look uncomfortable with it. I was watching some episode where Michelle was talking about the side hugs (insert eye roll) and there was a clip of Michelle and Boob in what looked like a church. The woman in the pew/row behind them was hugging them and you could see Michelle try to shift it to a side hug, but it wasn't working. LOL!

[Carolyn15]

What bugs me about the Duggars is the idea that the baby making thing is a sure thing for everyone. I have often wondered if a Daughter  or Daughter in law could not get pregnant. Or a Son or Son in law could not father a child, It happens to so many people . I wonder if they would be less of in the eyes of Mom and Pops?

[dingle2607]

Anna. Simple as that. Her baby voice is like nails on a chalk board. I think she's trying to keep up this front and be more like her mother in law and is just failing miserably. Or perhaps the load she must bear as a Duggar is sinking in and this is her way of trying to hide true feelings.

In one episode I recall JB sky diving. And this really annoyed me. So...heaven forbid your children hug their boyfriend/girlfriend with frontal hugs yet, it's completely acceptable to put your life in danger participating in an extreme sport. Backwards line of thinking.

[PinkSprinkles]

Anna. Simple as that. Her baby voice is like nails on a chalk board. I think she's trying to keep up this front and be more like her mother in law and is just failing miserably. Or perhaps the load she must bear as a Duggar is sinking in and this is her way of trying to hide true feelings.

In one episode I recall JB sky diving. And this really annoyed me. So...heaven forbid your children hug their boyfriend/girlfriend with frontal hugs yet, it's completely acceptable to put your life in danger participating in an extreme sport. Backwards line of thinking.

 

Michelle and Jessa also went sky diving at one point. 

[Ljohnson1987]

 Anna annoys me. She acts like Smuggar is so perfect. He's a tool. He only has that cushy job  because his last name is Duggar. They also drone on and on about how good his work ethic is. When has Smuggar done actual work? Never!  Nice try Boob and Mullet. We know that your son is a lazy ass. 

[fliptopbox]

I dated a guy who had a non potty trained 4 year old. It was pretty terrible. We tried to get him to use a potty, but it wasn't working. The kid just didn't care if he soiled himself. I dunno if he was developmentally delayed or anything (my ex's mother suspected he was) because the mother refused to allow him to be tested. Anyway, this was like 4 years ago so hopefully now the kid is properly using the toilet cos he'd be about 8 by now.

[LazyToaster]

I raised a developmentally delayed child and he was potty trained by age 2 1/2 which back in the early 70's was a bit late, but not terrible. It took more patience with him but we never once considered that he couldn't do it.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Probably totally beside the point, but while all 3 of my kids were toilet trained well before they were 3, I recall the pediatrician, upon finding that my daughter was wearing regular underwear at her 2 year appointment made the notation on her record, "T-T already!!".

It had not occurred to me that this was something out of the ordinary.

[NikSac]

What bugs me about the Duggars is the idea that the baby making thing is a sure thing for everyone. I have often wondered if a Daughter  or Daughter in law could not get pregnant. Or a Son or Son in law could not father a child, It happens to so many people . I wonder if they would be less of in the eyes of Mom and Pops?

 

So true. My husband's family is far from fundie - many aren't even religious - but I can't have kids and once had a fairly distant in-law come up to me at a family get together and hiss in my hear that I was "useless to this family!" because of it. Fortunately no one likes this woman and everyone else laughed it off, but it still hurt. It makes me think of the Duggars and what if one of the kids can't have kids for whatever reason (whether due to the kid or the in-law).  Will they be treated poorly or differently?  My bet is yes.

[JessDVD]

Regarding potty training, I know a lot of people (myself included) who wait till the kid is more like age 3 than 2 to start potty training because (at least in my experience) it is a LOT easier to train a 3yo than a 2yo. I tried training my first when she was about 2 and I was just training myself, not her. When she was 3, she trained in a week and was nearly independent in it. However, a 4yo still in diapers - there are issues. Of course, I think we all pretty much agree that Josie has some issues and wish that she could get some real help.

 

Also, in a world where a woman's ability to reproduce is pretty much the start and end of her identity and value, as it certainly is for Michelle and dear God, please let the Duggar daughters not have bought into this, infertility is probably pretty devastating.

[NikSac]

Given the discussion of side-hugs and not being allowed to dance, I thought this was the appropriate place to share. Can you imagine if they suddenly busted out slow-dance music at a Duggar gathering?  I have this hilarious picture in my head of people trying to side-dance.

[DangerousMinds]

What bugs me about the Duggars is the idea that the baby making thing is a sure thing for everyone. I have often wondered if a Daughter  or Daughter in law could not get pregnant. Or a Son or Son in law could not father a child, It happens to so many people . I wonder if they would be less of in the eyes of Mom and Pops?

Jill and Derek have already spoken about being open to adopting, so they would probably go that route, which I think is wonderful because there are so many kids in this country alone who never, ever find a "forever" family.

[aunt jen]

My son will be 4 in a month and is not potty trained. It's not a nightmare and it's not the worst thing ever. We are in the process of narrowing down his particular brand of speech and language delay, and suspect it is an auditory processing issue which can't be truly diagnosed until about age 7. We just have to throw things at him to see what works. The fact is that he doesn't have the expressive language and we're not sure how much he understands of more abstract ideas, like the need to pee or poop. He's a micropreemie like Josie.

Yes, I have my kid in both school-provided and private therapy while (it appears) they don't, and I know that is a big difference in many minds. But I don't know, all this voice of doom re: potty training is making me wonder what others think about me, as my son's issues are fairly invisible to casual observers.

I also haven't seen Josie in a diaper since the blowout about a yearish ago in realtime. Is she still in them?

[McKay]

The difference is, you're aware of your son's issues even if you don't know what exactly they are yet.  Josie's well-being is left up to the whims of Jesus.  The kid had no sort of intervention, and never will. 

[Absolom]

Yet Michelle has talked about speech therapy for all of the younger girls.  They used to not speak as well as Mackynzie and now they are clearer on sounds like "r" than she is.

[NausetGirl]

No kidding?  Seriously?  The guy in charge of all this ATI stuff...  his name is GOTHARD?  It can't be true.  Gotta be a gag!

[LazyToaster]

NausetGirl you had me busting up, my dog thinks I crazy for laughing so much. I never realized before how that name could easily have another meaning. I've heard it pronounced his way for so many years I just did not think of any other way.

.

[Iwadre]

I just want one Duggar to express a true emotion! A real emotion and not a scripted line from their church. I'd love a normal family freak out with some slammed doors, and then a normal apology afterwards! The repression drives me crazy! Everyone has feelings and doesn't act their best all the time and that is OK. I'm not advocating for a dysfunctional family. I would love to see a real moment.

Edited June 30, 2014 by dreadre

[BitterApple]

The one episode where I thought the kids showed true emotion was the dinner theatre. When the older kids were in the kitchen laughing over Jessa's awful barbecue skills, they seemed so happy and relaxed.

When Boob and Michelle aren't around and the J'Slaves aren't saddled with the annoying little ones they're actually semi-normal.

[Hpmec]

I wonder about how the kids are affected by Mullet's disinterest in them. I watched the anniversary episode from last fall in which the kids surprised Mullet by making and serving a big dinner at some sort of country inn. When she and Boob arrived, she walked right past two of the boys without even looking their way. Inside, she barely acknowledged the rest of the kids. No hugs, side or otherwise. No display of gratitude for their efforts. Granted, the situation was no doubt contrived for tv, but her cold demeanor was all too apparent. Kids need to be shown by their parents (not surrogate parent buddies) that they are loved, valued, and appreciated. JimBoob, for all his faults, tries. Mullet is MIA. At some point, one or more of those kids is going to break away and write a scorching tell all. Can't wait.

[abseedee]

Catching up on this thread and was suddenly reminded about something I saw last week while watching the re-run of JB and Jill going to Nepal to meet Derick.  There was a scene where they were about to leave and before going out the door.  Boob, Jill and J'chelle were in a hallway and I didn't notice it the first time I watched this episode and it didn't dawn on me then that Michelle actually gave Jill a front hug.  It was sad to see that she didn't give one to Jennie when Jill went out the door.  Hugs are therapeutic and comforting but all Jennie got was J'chelle saying "aww buddy" to her.  I hate saying this but a side hug would have been better and also telling Jennie not to worry because her sister mom will be back.

[NewGranny]

This is not about the show, but yesterday I downloaded the audiobook of the first book The Duggars, 20 and Counting, and Michelle's voice!!!! I had no idea that she was narrating the book.  I may be totally insane by the time it is over.  Her voice is just grating to me.  Sounds just like the voice of a crazy person trying to convince you that they are not crazy, you are.  Sooooo fake.  Can she BE anymore monotone?

[maraleia]

In the video where she is talking to the woman who helped Jill with her dress and tried to cover up Josie's arms her voice dropped an octave for a little bit and she sounded so good. Her babyish voice and ridiculous hair make me want to cringe. As I said before, I think that they are only in this cult because of Michelle's guilt about her teen years. Jim-Bob seems to actually care about their kids well-being while Michelle is just in in for the fame and glory.

[bigskygirl]

I think one of the reasons why they join up with Gothard is they were gullible esp. after Mullet's first miscarriage. They were convinced by the one doctor it was the birth control that cause Mullet to lose the baby. The Gothard movement saw the Duggars coming a mile away. I do not believe Mullet was feeling too guilty about her teen years until they decided to sign up for the cult. They have been brainwashed big time.

 

I also do not think Jim Boob really cares for the kids. A good parent lets his children be there own unique person with their own personalities and likes/dislikes. They do not parade them around in a dog and pony show or tell the unmarried kids, I can have sex you cannot by pretending to dry hump his wife on a golf course in front of his daughter and her suitor. A parent also trusts their kids and try not to control every aspect of their lives. A good mom or dad do not consider their kids an investment and expects their son and/or daughter to agree with their political beliefs and use their premature daughter to promote anti-abortion beliefs. A good parent wants the child to use their full potiental and are not in denial to psychological, learning and developmental disabilities and get the proper help to help the child learn and grow.

[maraleia]

I was trying to draw comparisons between Michelle and Jim-Bob regarding their level of parental involvement not what rational people do. I do agree that both of them have a warped sense of the world.

[PecanSandie]

I agree that Jim Bob is much more affectionate towards his kids and grand kids than Michelle is. She treats all of them except Josie like they are an electric fence.

I'm starting to wonder if she has some phobias or if she relapsed into bulimia again. I can't get that picture of her at four or five months pregnant with Jubilee into what she KNEW was an extremely high risk pregnancy and there she was, trying to excerise in a strenuous manner. And she had an extremely busy calendar, on the road, speaking here and there and then teaching one of the girls to drive on a rare day home.

[bigskygirl]

I think she enjoys being pregnant because of the attention she gets. She loves to go on and on about Josie and Jubilee, and Mullet likes to remind the children how she could have died bringing them into the world. She reminds me of people who want to have a child for an accessory, and once the accessory is no longer useful, it gets toss aside for something else or handed off to someone else to take care of her child. Mullet only pays attention to her children when it makes her look good. I cannot understand why JimBoob feeds her obsession with pregnancy and babies. Is he in denial or is he afraid she might end up being taken away from him because she is not mentally stable at times when it comes to this.

Edited July 2, 2014 by bigskygirl

[cmr2014]

Things that bug me -- I'll just start with 2:

 

1. I think that people who choose to have a lot of children should, at the very least, like children. There is simply no evidence that J'chelle likes kids at all. Those (what I assume were) FU internet scenes this past season with J'chelle interacting with her "blessings" were just painful to watch.

 

2. Do the Duggars ever watch their own show. If JB and J'chelle sat down together and watched the show as an opportunity to view their children and  their parenting objectively, they might notice how sad Jana looks, or how unsuited Jessa and Ben are, or how poorly behaved the howlers are, or how lost the little girls are.

 

While I'm sure that the Duggars think that people who post to these boards are "haters," the people here seem to be more concerned about Jana's well being than her parents. They remark over and over about how beautiful Jill looked at her wedding (it irks me no end that J'chelle couldn't even acknowledge that her daughter was a beautiful bride). I see concern expressed over and over for Mary and for the youngest girls. While I see plenty of snark about Ben and Jessa, there is also a lot of concern that they are unsuited for one another, and simply too young and too inexperience to understand the problem.

 

If they watched their own show, they would realize that they need to step up and be actual parents. There's a lot more to raising kids than giving them a dorm room, some thrift store clothes, and a little tater tot casserole.

[Oldernowiser]

The problem is that JimBoob and Michelle view every additional pregnancy as some kind of celestial merit badge that validates their wonderfulness and their wonderfulness as parents, in particular. So God's good with their parenting, so why bother to actually do anything more?

Now that the factory is shutting down...it's going to be interesting (although not interesting enough to actually, say, have a television show about it) to see if they're at all able to shift gears into other ways of getting their Celestial Smug on.