Lost In Transition - General Discussion

[ChristmasJones]

I have empathy for everyone on this show.  The sad thing is they are "doing" this process on a realty TV show rather than in a therapist's office. Think about your own life and some of the hardest personal struggles you've been through.... would you sign up to be on a reality show about that? I truly am curious about the motivations for each person on this show.  In Leslie and Stacy's case, my guess is that its mostly financial.

[IvySpice]

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She’s also not very supportive of Cindy’s feelings and pain and I think that contributes to Cindy’s attitude about the whole thing.

Totally. Lucy was freaking mansplaining how Cindy was supposed to feel about the transition. It's no big deal? Get over it? If it's no big deal, Lucy, then you should go back to being Troy. It's a big deal to YOU!

Last week we had Karen from Ohio choosing the most dowdy, short wig. Lucy is the opposite -- awfully occupied with passing as a beautiful woman. Some of us who were assigned female at birth are fated to be fat or butch or homely women. Others starve ourselves for decades and still hate our bodies. Welcome to American womanhood. I promise I have never looked like the fellow partygoer in the thong. If being a woman is about loving the beauty in the mirror, then most cis women are failing at it. If what you want is glamour, Lucy, then maybe you want drag.

Quote

 

Stacy is a wonderful human being. 

 

Yes, and not a pushover. They're looking at the $28,000 estimate and Stacy's all "We'll see where we are financially after the baby comes..." but her face said "YOUR TWO CHILDREN NEED A ROOF MORE THAN YOU NEED HIGH EYEBROWS." Or maybe "Guess you shoulda stayed in school." They're barely scraping by in their trailer. In the unlikely event that they could pull together $28,000 some years from now, plastic surgery is not going to be at the top of Stacy's shopping list.

[CraftyHazel]

^^I don't know about that.  They have a GoFundMe and also have set up an online business to raise the $28K.  Stacy seems quite eager for Leslie to get the surgery she wants.

[Guest]

36 minutes ago, Marmiarmo said:

^^I don't know about that.  They have a GoFundMe and also have set up an online business to raise the $28K.  Stacy seems quite eager for Leslie to get the surgery she wants.

The GoFundMe seems to have been set up about seven months ago. Fairly certain that was during the time TLC was filming (since the picture appears to be one they posed for with the photographer in last night's episode)—and fairly certain if TLC chooses to renew this show, they'll pick up the cost or Stacy and Leslie can use their TLC paychecks to pay on their own. 

[CraftyHazel]

The GoFundMe was set up last fall, but the majority of the donations have come in since yesterday's episode aired, and Stacy is still posting links to it through SM as recently as an hour ago.

I have no idea how much TLC is paying these people, but with Leslie's job already in jeopardy, Stacy pregnant, and the cost of hormones, it may not go that far.  

Edited June 11, 2018 by Marmiarmo
Capitalization

[LennieBriscoe]

Stacy is a saint, a saint who sees and loves another's soul above all else. 

Cindy is a human being, a human being with needs and desires who wants those to be as acknowledged and respected as she is expected to do so for another. 

Jennifer is a combination of the two,  finding her own way to another's "her-ness."

Yes, this post is about the wives, for they are trying to enter the brave new world of their mates,  a world mentally inhabited for decades by Leslie, by Lucy,  by Lawren.

So while the trans-women alter their outer selves to engage the wider world,  the wives are asked to re-adjust their inner selves to find a new compatibility with their partners. 

For each couple there is one journey of self-realization coming to fruition, and one journey of other-realization beginning. 

This show is more profound than seen at first glance. 

Just like the people involved. 

[AZChristian]

I keep seeing Cindy referred to as Lucy's wife.  They are not married.  They have been living together for many years, but never married.  The captions clearly refer to Cindy as Lucy's "partner."  If my partner was so lacking in compassion for my feelings about anything, the relationship would be over.  (And that sentence can intentionally be read from either person's point of view.)  These two are becoming toxic for each other.

[IvySpice]

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They have a GoFundMe and also have set up an online business to raise the $28K. 

I hope that Leslie can get what she needs and that the kids and Stacy do, too.

[configdotsys]

1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

I keep seeing Cindy referred to as Lucy's wife.  They are not married.  They have been living together for many years, but never married.  The captions clearly refer to Cindy as Lucy's "partner."  If my partner was so lacking in compassion for my feelings about anything, the relationship would be over.  (And that sentence can intentionally be read from either person's point of view.)  These two are becoming toxic for each other.

I totally agree with you about their relationship being toxic. They are both so angry with each other that they're digging in and becoming incapable of a rational discussion anymore.

Cindy is angry that her nice life has been upended by something she wants no part of. If Lucy leaves, she will very quickly pick up a whole new set of friends who will be supportive (the people from the club or another group she can join). Cindy will be alone. That pisses her off.

When Lucy asked why Cindy wouldn't even look at the pictures and either say good or bad it was very telling where both of them are at this point. While Lucy has been all about herself and showing little empathy for Cindy's position, there is a coldness to Cindy and she hasn't exactly expressed much compassion for Lucy's struggles either. I can see how that would be difficult considering how Lucy has behaved, but neither of them seem to want to empathize with each other and it's all about being angry. I don't see any hope at all for these two. 

[Pepper Mostly]

On 6/11/2018 at 11:05 AM, OrchidThief said:

Stacy is such a beautiful person, inside and out. And incredibly thoughtful!

Watching this episode I just kept saying "she is so sweet!" "what a darling!" and "she is just a lovely, lovely person!" out loud. She's amazing. She has embraced the huge upheavals in her and Leslie's life with such equanimity and love.

I just wanted to hug Jennifer right through the TV. She has so much on her shoulders, and has, for so long. I hope she has a solid support system. She's really struggling.

Lucy and Cindy should just part ways now. Cindy is not prepared to live with a female partner, which is fine. I don't really understand where Lucy is coming from. She seems very uncomfortable presenting as a woman.

[Kid]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I don't really understand where Lucy is coming from. She seems very uncomfortable presenting as a woman.

I agree. But I think the reason that she was not comfortable was because that it wasn’t done correctly.  Too much hair, too much make up, and a dress that would not look good on anybody.   And rather than taking it slowly like going shopping or to a restaurant for the first time in female clothing, she was thrown into the deep end and taken to a nightclub. I don’t think it works that way. I think the transition has to be gradual. But what do I know, I’m not transgender. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Lucy didn't see the person in the mirror she hoped to, and she may never see that person.  At the same time, that makeover was so extreme.  I am glad she stood up for herself with the wig.  She looked like a bad Dolly Parton impersonator.  I was ready for her to break into Coat of Many Colors.  I feel for her situation, but she and Cindy are terrible at communicating.  That is an in good times only relationship if ever I saw one.  Lucy is very quick to flare up and hit back with accusations.  I felt for Cindy when she said she wanted to take a break and Lucy joined her in the truck.  Damn.  Give her a minute.  Did they forget they were mic'd and that cameras can see through glass?  It is time for them to go separate ways.

I don't think Cindy will be absolutely alone.  While she seems to prefer to be in a couple, she also has a job and friends.  Break ups are tough, but, in her case, people will understand.  She thought she was living with a man, and she is not interested in continuing an intimate relationship with a woman.  Not the first time this has happened, not will it be the last.  

Lucy has a tough road ahead regardless of what she does.  Oh, and, you know what I never wear clubbing? A sweater dress.  I was getting all gross and sweaty just looking at her.  

[Guest]

29 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Oh, and, you know what I never wear clubbing? A sweater dress.  I was getting all gross and sweaty just looking at her.  

GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Not to mention the 10-lb wig, the heavy stage make up, and, I presume, another 10 pounds of binding underneath that thing. Make over lady is either really, really bad at her job or she really hated Lucy. 

[Bugfrey Von]

On 6/11/2018 at 8:54 AM, configdotsys said:

The lady that dressed Lucy was very rude and impatient with her. For goodness sake, lady, this was Lucy’s first time getting dolled up and she has every right to dislike the wig you decided on or whatever. “I’m gonna rip the wig off your head…” wtf was that?

Agreed!  Lucy has lovely, deep set eyes that are really impactful with the right makeup.  For someone who does this for a living, the trans fairy godmother was a.) very impatient and b.) very lacking in good wigs.  Jeez Louise.  I think Lucy felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb with all those pretty girls at the club that passed (in her mind), but she looked really cute.  She sounded like me getting dressed too "Now if I could only lose 20 lbs"....

[Bugfrey Von]

41 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Lucy has a tough road ahead regardless of what she does.  Oh, and, you know what I never wear clubbing? A sweater dress.  I was getting all gross and sweaty just looking at her.  

God, yes.  Give the girl a light, cute wrap dress and call it a day.  

[monagatuna]

2 hours ago, Kid said:

I agree. But I think the reason that she was not comfortable was because that it wasn’t done correctly.  Too much hair, too much make up, and a dress that would not look good on anybody.   And rather than taking it slowly like going shopping or to a restaurant for the first time in female clothing, she was thrown into the deep end and taken to a nightclub. I don’t think it works that way. I think the transition has to be gradual. But what do I know, I’m not transgender. 

I think the only thing that was correctly done at her coming out party was taking her to a T Girl night. It was extreme, but there were people there that looked like her and had gone through her journey. While it might be intimidating to see all the beautiful young women dancing in risque clothing, she had conversations with older trans women in various stages of transitioning, and I think that could possibly help her understand she won't immediately be the vision she had in her mind. The more passing women at that club have probably spent years and thousands on their various looks and it's going to take some time and effort (and a better transformation artist!).

The saddest thing was how she mentioned all the other women in the club were passing. To be honest, I saw a lot of women that looked a lot like her, so I hope she doesn't abandon her true self because she thinks there's no hope in passing. It'll happen, she just needs some time and practice. Unless, of course, she chooses to transition but not to pass, like some trans people choose.

[fountain]

Leslie reminds of that actress in Mindy that is the  sister of the rich snooty guy.  While she may be butch looking she does look feminine to me that I would think outside of her workplace and friends other people wouldn’t notice.  I am sure the overheard comments are mainly for the show as IRL I am not sure people going about their lives pay that much attention to others. She does definitely look happier and seem happier now than in the beginning of the show.  Her wife is amazing, they are an amazing couple.

The Lucy situation with the makeover was awkward.  It is interesting to me to know something about yourself and not have spent some time experimenting.  The first look really was drag like, the second wig was better but it was still too much makeup most women only wear that kind of makeup going clubbing.

I really like this show as it seems more real than anything TLC has done in a long time.  

[brilliantbreakfast]

I kind of hate that this show is on TLC, because the association tars it with that TLC exploitation brush, and it's really pretty sensitively done.  

Lucy makeover:  What's tragic about these transitioning women in middle age is that they want desperately to be young, beautiful women...and they can't be.  The same thing happened with Caitlyn Jenner; the inappropriate hair and clothing, too much makeup.  Those of us who are middle-aged cis women know that there is only so much you can do to appear younger than  your age without extensive cosmetic surgery and personal trainers.  But trans women have been "cheated" out of that time.  Part of the transition really needs to be counseling to do that grieving about that "young and hot" phase that they never had and can never have.

Stacy:  Arguably the best human being in the whole world.  I don't think there are many of us who would be able to just completely shift gears  and really, truly, more than most of us could ever do, look only at the inside and really commit to adjusting to this transition.  I admire her so much and wish I could be half the person that she is.

Anyone who thinks that someone goes through this transition on a lark, or because they could choose otherwise but for some reason decide that this would be a cool thing to do, needs to watch this show.  These are not bratty kids like Jazz Jennings with stage moms; these are grown adults who have been living a tormented life since they were born and are summoning up the courage to not only take this journey, but do it on national televison.  

[kicotan]

On 6/14/2018 at 7:50 AM, brilliantbreakfast said:

Stacy:  Arguably the best human being in the whole world.  I don't think there are many of us who would be able to just completely shift gears  and really, truly, more than most of us could ever do, look only at the inside and really commit to adjusting to this transition.  I admire her so much and wish I could be half the person that she is.

I too was initially blown away at Stacy’s complete acceptance/encouragement and how much it was unlike the other spouses reactions.  I attributed it to her age and thought she might be of a more accepting type because of it.  I have looked at her social media and even joined a closed group on Facebook that includes all the participants of the show who respond to questions and post content.  I think an important disctinction to make is that she did not identify as straight to begin with.  She has publicly stated that when they got together she identified as bisexual and since Leslie came out to her as transgender, she now identifies as pansexual.  I think that explains a lot as far as the difference in her approach to continuing a relationship with Leslie, considering the other spouses/partners of the transitioning folks on the show did not (and do not) consider themselves as anything other than cisgender, heterosexuals.  

[Guest]

Episode description per TVGuide.com: 

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Cindy and Troy's relationship is tested; Stacy and Leslie stress over finances and deal with a new health concern; a nervous Beverly hopes to reconnect with her and Karen's eldest child, Cas, also transgender, who comes home for a visit.

[DVDFreaker]

I do not understand how Leslie lost her job? What exactly does she do at her job? I feel sorry for Stacy and Leslie when diaster keeps happening and their financial situation is not good

[CraftyHazel]

The reason she was given is that she broke rules.  She allegedly bought a gun with her employee discount and resold it to someone else, thus selling it at a discount to a friend that didn't have a right to a discount.  But Leslie believes it was because the customers and management were uncomfortable with her appearance.

[PupCal]

I feel bad for Cas, coming home to that minefield and having to deal with their mother.

[jacksgirl]

Love crappy reality shows and TLC does them well. These women whose partners are transitioning are not fun to snark on however. Their pain seems raw and genuine. 

[Guest]

Questions, so many questions. 

Maybe it was the shoddy editing, but all of a sudden we saw Leslie and Stacy go from a baby shower to racing to the hospital because of Leslie's bilateral nipple bleeding without nary a set-up scene. I thought it was some sort of medical emergency but it turned out to have been (I presume) a long-standing appointment with an endocrinologist. Had she had a mammogram before going? It sure didn't seem like it lest the doctor would have mentioned it. Why send her to a surgeon instead of suggesting having a mammogram first? What's the surgeon going to do...guess what's wrong? A mammogram sure would have gone a long way in helping Leslie not go from 0-to-cancer in 10 seconds flat. 

I also didn't fully understand the nature of Cas' issues with his mother. He said he felt he didn't have a safe environment in the home. What exactly did that mean? And at what point did he discover his father was transitioning as well? Was that after he left the house? How could Karen have stood for his departure when she knew she was having her own struggles with her identity? And what the hell was with Beverly admitting she had no idea when it was the last time she saw Cas? I mean, venture a guess lady! That's your child! I also maintain that Karen is kind of a turd—she sat there like a lump during that super awkward kitchen table encounter and never bothered to help facilitate any sort of peace brokering. 

I have no idea what's going on with Cindy and Lucy. Is Lucy considering not presetting as female to save the marriage? 

[kicotan]

50 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

Maybe it was the shoddy editing, but all of a sudden we saw Leslie and Stacy go from a baby shower to racing to the hospital because of Leslie's bilateral nipple bleeding without nary a set-up scene. I thought it was some sort of medical emergency but it turned out to have been (I presume) a long-standing appointment with an endocrinologist. Had she had a mammogram before going? It sure didn't seem like it lest the doctor would have mentioned it. Why send her to a surgeon instead of suggesting having a mammogram first? What's the surgeon going to do...guess what's wrong? A mammogram sure would have gone a long way in helping Leslie not go from 0-to-cancer in 10 seconds flat. 

Additionally, when the Dr. asked to her to explain what’s going on, how did Leslie know that she was having bloody discharge from more than one duct out of the same nipple?   If she had no previous breast issues prior to the HRT, it would be reasonable to assume that’s what is causing the issues, even if it isn’t cancer.   Since HRT is very important to her, maybe seeing the endocrinologist first, instead of going to a GP and then getting referred to one anyway, cuts back on the number of office visits they have to co-pay for?  I get the impression they are putting forth cancer as the worst case scenario~TLC tends to like to do that with the reality shows they produce.

50 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

I also didn't fully understand the nature of Cas' issues with his mother. He said he felt he didn't have a safe environment in the home. What exactly did that mean?

If I remember correctly, Cas said mom wouldn’t allow haircuts or clothing choices to be Cas’ decision.  Beverly was pretty vague about not being initially accepting of Cas’ agender identity, but sounds like she’s owned it and is trying to mend the fence.  Beverly also seems a little confused-she told her bar buddies that her daughter is transitioning to be male, but Cas specifically said that Cas doesn’t identify as male or female but agender.

50 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

I have no idea what's going on with Cindy and Lucy. Is Lucy considering not presetting as female to save the marriage? 

Lucy and Cindy both said that if they broke up, they would feel alone and that was a pretty dreadful proposition when they considered that as a potential future.  I personally can’t see a way for them to compromise on what they individually want and still stay together, even if it is just so they don’t feel lonely.

The gender reveal baby shower was a little odd to me-as a transgender person, wouldn’t you be sensitive to the idea you might be misgendering your child before it is even born?  If anything, have a biological sex reveal or a XXvsXY reveal.  No?

Edited June 18, 2018 by kicotan
Coffee hasn’t finished brewing yet...

[SunnyBeBe]

This show really is frustrating, imo.  I am not an avid viewer, but, why would that couple have another child when their finances are so strained? If you know your job is on thin ice, why take chances with doing that private sale, when it could be perceived as a policy violation?  If she was innocent, I would think that she would have protested more. 

I was not familiar with Cas.  If a person identifies as agender, then, which pronoun do you use? I couldn't figure out the history conflict with the mother and Cas, but, I could see becoming frustrated.  

The transgender woman who got the makeover for the reception last night, would have benefited with a wig, imo.  I thought the rest was done well. 

The wife getting the manicure, seemed so hopeful about her marriage, but, it seemed to me that she believes her husband can make concessions to please her and everything will be alright.  It doesn't appear that is feasible, based on what I have seen.  

[kicotan]

I really hope that shows like Life in Transition will help those that feel they have to keep a secret like this from their loved ones and potential partners/spouses to not stay silent and live in quiet torture.

I am not transgender and do NOT agree that it is a mental illness, but I have lived my life and continue to with a psychiatric disorder known as Body Dysmorphia.  There is no known cure.  There is no FDA approved treatment, although in severe cases of depression associated with the disorder, MD’s sometimes will prescribe SSRIs. Other than that, counseling.

There are many times that I find myself relating to some of the issues that transgender folk face-keeping it a secret, trying to pray it away, engaging in destructive behavior, not seeing the ME in the mirror, social anxiety, fears of rejection and feelings of low self-esteem, shame, embarrassment, unworthiness, being unlovable, even suicidal ideations.

Although I can’t know exactly what it is like for those who are transgendered, I sympathize greatly with the struggles they face and wish them nothing but the best.

[AZChristian]

3 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

I have no idea what's going on with Cindy and Lucy. Is Lucy considering not presetting as female to save the marriage? 

Cindy and Lucy are not married.  Long-term partners, but never married.  

[Pepper Mostly]

11 hours ago, Marmiarmo said:

The reason she was given is that she broke rules.  She allegedly bought a gun with her employee discount and resold it to someone else, thus selling it at a discount to a friend that didn't have a right to a discount.  But Leslie believes it was because the customers and management were uncomfortable with her appearance.

I don't believe that any more than Leslie does. If someone wants to fire you, they'll find a reason. What power does Leslie have? She can't afford a lawyer. With all the stress on the family right now, does she want to add a cartload of legal problems? Of course not. Her former employer knows it too. They just wanted her to go away. They don't give a shit. 

11 hours ago, PupCal said:

I feel bad for Cas, coming home to that minefield and having to deal with their mother.

My heart went out to Cas. What a mess. Karen is a ticking time bomb. She's hiding behind booze and a pasted on big fake smile, but she is barely holding it together. 

[Lizzing]

10 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

The transgender woman who got the makeover for the reception last night, would have benefited with a wig, imo.  I thought the rest was done well.

Karen's make up was done really well, but that hair WAS a wig, and (believe it or not) a slight improvement over her prior wig.  Professionals sewed that mop on her head, and I think they need to turn over their cosmetology licenses.  They should have, at least, made the wig long enough to cover the back of her natural hair so the divide isn't so apparent.

I do NOT get what Beverly's deal is.  At first I thought she was just extremely sheltered and kind of dim-witted, but I think she's masking more than just being inches from a break down.  There has to be more to Cas's story of moving out than Bev wouldn't let them cut their hair or wear clothes they wanted.  Cas's outfit  & hair on the show didn't look out of place for anyone, girl, guy, or nonbinary. (OK, a vibrant blue hair color would be weird if it were your cardiologist or a sitting judge, but for a 20ish year old young person, it is not at all that nuts.) I am suspicious that Bev is really hiding a deeply mean personality trait or something more than just being a generally incurious and dippy person.

12 hours ago, kicotan said:

Additionally, when the Dr. asked to her to explain what’s going on, how did Leslie know that she was having bloody discharge from more than one duct out of the same nipple?  

I would also like to know how she knew this.  Maybe if you've been up close and personal to nursing a baby you can tell?  I would just see "blood" & "nipple" & run out the door to the ER.

[SunnyBeBe]

My apologies on the wig comment. I wasn't trying to snark, so, thank you for the info. I don't watch this show consistently, so, I had no idea that she was wearing a wig. It appeared so short.  Oh well, they have time to get it right, I suppose. 

I don't want to sound negative, but, I just wonder if viewers who are wanting to come out will, if they see what these families are going through.  It really seems tough.  I think it's supposed to provide encourage, but, IDK.  A part of me wonders if the transgender women had any idea how strongly their wives would react and how deeply the news would be received. 

Edited June 18, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Jeanne222]

11 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

This show really is frustrating, imo.  I am not an avid viewer, but, why would that couple have another child when their finances are so strained? If you know your job is on thin ice, why take chances with doing that private sale, when it could be perceived as a policy violation?  If she was innocent, I would think that she would have protested more. 

I was not familiar with Cas.  If a person identifies as agender, then, which pronoun do you use? I couldn't figure out the history conflict with the mother and Cas, but, I could see becoming frustrated.  

The transgender woman who got the makeover for the reception last night, would have benefited with a wig, imo.  I thought the rest was done well. 

The wife getting the manicure, seemed so hopeful about her marriage, but, it seemed to me that she believes her husband can make concessions to please her and everything will be alright.  It doesn't appear that is feasible, based on what I have seen.  

 

 

11 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I think a couple of things.  First of finances are so tight why did she buy a gun???  Second if that is the reason she was fired and it's not true attorneys would be lining up to make a buck on that case.  Her answer was kind of vague too!

Well that's strange.  The reply is by me and not sunnybee.  Don't know how to fix it.  Sorry

Edited June 18, 2018 by Jeanne222

[JocelynCavanaugh]

I can totally believe that Leslie was fired on a technicality because her employer was actually just trying to get rid of the uncomfortable gender situation in the gun shop. But... after hearing her and Stacy talk about it, I can kinda see where maybe she really did re-sell the gun and didn't intend to keep it. The story was a little too rehearsed. Of course, maybe lots of employees do the same thing while management looks the other way, but then it got used against her when it was convenient. I don't know; I just find her a little selfish and impulsive so it seems possible. Overall she's still more likable than most of the people on this show. I just can't imagine my spouse hitting me with "Surprise! I'm trans! You're pregnant by me! I lost my job!" all within a few months. I'd melt down.

When it comes to Troy/Lucy and how to talk about trans-people, I'm a little confused. The episode description and chyrons say "Troy," and the person on the show still presents as male and has not decided as of now whether to transition. Is it really correct to go ahead and apply female pronouns to this person when s/he hasn't asked us to? 

While I'm at it, I think I missed something with Cas. In the TH, Cas said something to the effect of "I'm their kid. I don't really identify as their 'son' or 'daughter'." I don't recall Cas saying outright which pronouns to use, but Beverly seemed to be under the impression that he/him was preferred, not they/them, which makes me think Cas does more or less identify as male, even if [he] isn't ready to use "son" instead of "daughter." Those are obviously related but technically a different step in how the person identifies.

In both cases I'm in no way trying to mis-identify a person; in fact, it's the opposite. I think it's important to use the right terms but I don't think it's cut and dried that the second a person says they're non-gender-conforming that we automatically apply the other pronoun. If [Troy] has said something to this effect and I missed it, please let me know!

[Muffyn]

@SunnyBeBe Karen is bald so she had a wig sown in/glued down.  She was really excited when it was done.  It does look much better than being a very bald woman.  If you ever watch SouthPark, she had Mrs. Garrison's hairline.  Many of us commented that longer hair would be more flattering.  Prior to that she had a wig in a similar cut and length, but the hairline on it wasn't as realistic.  Since it's a semi-permanent piece, she may have gone shorter to make it easier to care for.  

Leslie got fired for reselling a gun she had purchased at the store she worked at.  Seems like she bought a new shotgun, then decided she didn't like it.  A friend liked it so she sold it to them at her cost.  I can see her buying a gun even with money tight.  They hunt for food.  The gun is a tool to help put meat on the table.  To me it's one of those grey areas.  The store she was working at can fire her for that.  It was a clear violation of policy. She can only use the discount for herself.  At the same time that doesn't mean they haven't potentially looked the same way on similar things before and/or were looking for a reason to let her go.  It is very hard to prove discrimination because a person can be fired for many reasons.  There are only a few for which you cannot be fired.  As an attorney friend likes to say, a boss can fire you because they like corn flakes and you like wheaties.  

This episode was a mess.  I sense they had such good footage of Cindy and Troy/Lucy that they cut some of the info on Leslie and Stacy that would have helped tie together their story better.  It seemed like we were missing some medical discussion.  It was a quick jump to see the surgeon/this could be cancer.  Was there a lump? Did she have a mammogram?  An ultrasound?  I wouldn't be surprised if Stacy ended up in the corner shaking and crying.  Pregnant, spouse out of work and possibly very ill - that could break the strongest person. 

[Jeanne222]

I feel so bad for Stacy.  Did I hear one of them say  Stacy would have to pick up more hours of work?   She's pregnant and due to deliver in the month!  Her face about hit the ground.

[Guest]

14 hours ago, kicotan said:

Additionally, when the Dr. asked to her to explain what’s going on, how did Leslie know that she was having bloody discharge from more than one duct out of the same nipple?

THIS! How would anyone know that without some testing having been undertaken beforehand? But I guess TLC couldn't get the, "It might be CANCER!" scare scene had they revealed the results of a prior ultrasound/mammogram before showing the scene with the endocrinologist. I've had issues in the past and had met with a surgeon—but I had to bring my radiographs since the guy didn't have the superpower of x-ray vision. Maybe the surgeon Leslie's meeting with graduated from Xavier Academy School of Medicine. 

[Irlandesa]

23 hours ago, DVDFreaker said:

I do not understand how Leslie lost her job? What exactly does she do at her job? I feel sorry for Stacy and Leslie when diaster keeps happening and their financial situation is not good

This is clearly where the scripting showed up.  In the first episode I saw (the second episode), Stacey mentioned that Leslie couldn't be fired for being trans in the state of Washington but if they really wanted to fire her, they could find a way.  And a few episodes later that's exactly what happened.

14 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

This show really is frustrating, imo.  I am not an avid viewer, but, why would that couple have another child when their finances are so strained? If you know your job is on thin ice, why take chances with doing that private sale, when it could be perceived as a policy violation?  If she was innocent, I would think that she would have protested more.

I believe Stacey was already pregnant when Leslie decided to transition.  And the transition is what put her job in jeopardy.  If she were still presenting as a man, the job would have been safe.

 

3 hours ago, Muffyn said:

At the same time that doesn't mean they haven't potentially looked the same way on similar things before and/or were looking for a reason to let her go.  It is very hard to prove discrimination because a person can be fired for many reasons.  There are only a few for which you cannot be fired.  As an attorney friend likes to say, a boss can fire you because they like corn flakes and you like wheaties. 

Right.  We don't know when this gun sale took place.  For some reason, I doubt it's the first time that an employee bought a gun and later resold it at cost or gave it as a gift.  It's very likely the store let it slide and would have only cared if it was routine.  But it's the kind of thing that no one cares about until they can use it as a cleaner reason for dismissal than the real reason.  Leslie could fight it if this is the case--if she could show that it's an overlooked policy and therefore, the real reason was her transition.  But that would cost time and money they don't have.

 

3 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I feel so bad for Stacy.  Did I hear one of them say  Stacy would have to pick up more hours of work?   She's pregnant and due to deliver in the month!  Her face about hit the ground.

Leslie said that either she (Leslie) would need to find another job or Stacey would have to work more hours or find a job that pays more.  I'm pretty forgiving of these women who are transitioning but I thought Leslie came off as quite insensitive there. 

Other than Say Yes To the Dress every once in a while and now I Want That Wedding, I don't watch many TLC reality shows so I can't really compare this show to things like 90 Day Fiance but one reason I think this show is so effective is that each segment between commercials is usually reserved to showcase one family.  It really lets us stay with their story.

15 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I was not familiar with Cas.  If a person identifies as agender, then, which pronoun do you use?

Usually you ask them their pronoun.  Anecdotally, I find they/them to be the most common for people who identify as non-binary (assuming that's Cas and I don't think we know right now).  Another popular option is Ze/hir.  If you Google gender neutral pronouns, you'll find many other options.

[GoldaVining]

Oh my gosh, this show. My feelings!

Leslie was looking great this episode. She has figured out her make-up (except for being a little shiny) and she looks good! It isn't necessary to have giant stage hair and makeup to be a girl. I have been a girl all my life and I don't do that. I'm certainly not a girly girl, but there are different kinds of girls. That's okay. I have never once worn lipstick or painted my nails. Me and most of my friends are just jeans and no makeup girls. In the past when Leslie was upset because she felt she didn't look feminine enough, I said out loud to the television, "Same, sister, same." I have felt that way all of my life. I just refuse to do much about it. My husband wouldn't notice if I grew antlers, but I do keep my hair long so folks don't think I'm his brother.

However, while Leslie is looking good, Leslie made a jerk move commenting that maybe Stacey needs to pick up more hours at her job/go back to work quickly after delivery. Stacey is working, third-trimester pregnant, with a toddler at home, supporting Leslie's transition. How much more should she do? Stacey might just drop if you put one more thing on her plate. Good god.

[princelina]

12 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I don't want to sound negative, but, I just wonder if viewers who are wanting to come out will, if they see what these families are going through.  It really seems tough.  I think it's supposed to provide encourage, but, IDK.  A part of me wonders if the transgender women had any idea how strongly their wives would react and how deeply the news would be received. 

From what we have seen I don't think they did - Troy is still pissed that Cindy doesn't appreciate him revealing his true feelings to her, which is what he seems to have been expecting!  (And now he'll never let anyone know him again!  Way to teach the world a lesson buddy.)  And Leslie's timing couldn't have been worse.  I don't think it's a negative for a transgender person who chose to get married and have children (or enter a long-term, committed relationship, as the case may be) to have a think about how their coming out will affect their loved ones, and I'm sure there have to be people who do, but we have seen nothing of that on this show.

I really dislike Leslie after this episode.  I doubt that she has adopted this sad sack, passive-aggressive personae since coming out - I think Stacey has been a mother since high school, and her neediest child will always be her former high school boyfriend.  Upon getting fired:  "I guess I'll have to get another job that pays better . . . or YOU will."  And then off to the hospital:  "Now that my health is deteriorating . . "  What?  For Leslie's information, my beautiful 37 year old sister lost her 2 breasts that she has had for 20+ years in May, and she continues to be her "authentic self" as a flat chested woman with no time for self-pitying navel gazing because she is too busy enjoying being cancer free and being there with/for her spouse and child.  Sheesh.  Also Leslie, if you want a smaller forehead you don't need thousands of dollars of plastic surgery - do what the rest of us do and go to Supercuts and spend $10 on bangs.

I'm surprised at this point to find myself disliking Karen and Beverly the least - they both seem like old-looking teenagers who don't know how to adult.  And when Karen was getting made up I had the weird thought that they look like sisters :)

[IvySpice]

Quote

Upon getting fired:  "I guess I'll have to get another job that pays better . . . or YOU will."  

Yeah, that didn't work for me. You are the non-pregnant half of the couple. It's your job to reassure the pregnant person. I'd want to hear something like: "I'm going to be at Wal-Mart at 7 AM tomorrow and stay there till they give me a job. I'll do phone sex if I have to. You and our baby will have a roof and enough to eat."

[TattooFan]

Princelina and IvySpice, I would like your posts 1000 times if I could!

I started out having a lot of compassion for Leslie, but once I started seeing that the support and nurturing and empathy was all coming from Stacy, I started disliking Leslie.  When Stacy arranged the anniversary surprise manicure for Leslie, did Leslie do something nice for Stacy, or did she complain that she only got gel nails instead of acrylic?  

P.S.  I don't even know the difference between gel and acrylic nails.

Edited June 19, 2018 by TattooFan
Added disclaimer about gel vs. acrylic nails.

[princelina]

56 minutes ago, TattooFan said:

Princelina and IvySpice, I would like your posts 1000 times if I could!

I started out having a lot of compassion for Leslie, but once I started seeing that the support and nurturing and empathy was all coming from Stacy, I started disliking Leslie.  When Stacy arranged the anniversary surprise manicure for Leslie, did Leslie do something nice for Stacy, or did she complain that she only got gel nails instead of acrylic?  

P.S.  I don't even know the difference between gel and acrylic nails.

Acrylics are stronger :)

[ShaNaeNae]

Yeah I'm not a fan of Leslie either.  I know the longer they are in the wrong body, the harder it must be.  But she really couldn't wait to start the transition until after Stacy gave birth?  You knew you'd be on shaky ground with your job if you transitioned.  Another reason to wait until you have something as a possible back up or when Stacy could go back to work in case you lose your job.  Stacy just looks tired and stressed all the time but you rarely hear her complain.  Now she's rushing off to hospitals with a very pregnant Stacy in tow.  When Leslie said she'll (Stacy) have to work more hours, her face spoke volumes, but she said nothing.  Leslie is very lucky to have Stacy as a partner and wife.

[OrchidThief]

I would be very interested to learn more about what a TG person sees in another gender that is attractive and makes them want to change. Clothing, hair, makeup are all superficial...but when Stacy thought to treat Leslie like a "lady" -- propose, open doors kinds of things -- I would love to hear the TG partner talk more about how that feels. Appearance alone doesn't seem enough to go through with all this (especially since some of us bio women slop around in yoga pants and no makeup lol) because that would describe more of the essence of being male or female. And probably go a long way toward explaining the desire and process.

[princelina]

13 hours ago, OrchidThief said:

I would be very interested to learn more about what a TG person sees in another gender that is attractive and makes them want to change. Clothing, hair, makeup are all superficial...but when Stacy thought to treat Leslie like a "lady" -- propose, open doors kinds of things -- I would love to hear the TG partner talk more about how that feels. Appearance alone doesn't seem enough to go through with all this (especially since some of us bio women slop around in yoga pants and no makeup lol) because that would describe more of the essence of being male or female. And probably go a long way toward explaining the desire and process.

I remember Caitlin Jenner, who never claimed to be attracted to men, did express wanting to be taken out by a man who would hold doors, etc. and treat her like a lady.  So yes it would be interesting to hear Leslie's thoughts on that.  But I don't think Leslie's the type to appreciate other people; too busy thinking of herself.

[Kid]

On 6/18/2018 at 7:20 PM, Jeanne222 said:

I feel so bad for Stacy.  Did I hear one of them say  Stacy would have to pick up more hours of work?   She's pregnant and due to deliver in the month!  Her face about hit the ground.

Amen.  I have profound sympathy for Stacy.  Absolutely NO ONE is looking out for her including her.  She basically has THREE children to support.  I have lost all sympathy for Leslie.  Once you have children, it is not about you any more.  Stacy gets that, Leslie does not.  

Edited June 21, 2018 by Kid

[kicotan]

5 minutes ago, Kid said:

Amen.  I have profound sympathy for Stacy.  Absolutely NO ONE is looking out for her including her.  She basically has THREE children to support.  I have lost all sympathy for Leslie.

Having to deal with stressors during pregnancy not only puts a burden on the mother but also effects the child’s development in the womb.

I must admit I don’t have a lot of respect for a partner who knowingly makes their pregnant partner go through stress that didn’t HAVE to happen during the pregnancy, but could have waited a small bit.

[Kid]

On 6/19/2018 at 3:57 PM, princelina said:

Princelina and IvySpice, I would like your posts 1000 times if I could!

Amen!!!

[IvySpice]

Quote

Troy is still pissed that Cindy doesn't appreciate him revealing his true feelings to her, which is what he seems to have been expecting!  (And now he'll never let anyone know him again!  Way to teach the world a lesson buddy.) 

Noted: Cindy didn't say SHE could never trust anyone again...even though her partner was hiding a huge secret for 13 years and then pulled the rug out from under her.