Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Blergh]

1 hour ago, andromeda331 said:

People especially cops are such work alcholics if they have a medical procedure or surgery. They'll work right up until it's time for the procedure or surgery. Then they will leave immediately out afterwards. If the hospital staff won't let them leave they'll just leave on their own. Yanking out IVs and other stuff and leaving. No matter how serious it is to do so or how much pain. 

And they never mention the intense pain when they get the massively inflated bills from leaving the hospital without getting officially checked out which automatically results in the insurance companies refusing to pay ANY part of said bills (which happened with one of my late father's fellow patients at a physical rehab center who left in a huff before check out then got  zinged for the ENTIRE $60,000 bill)  Yep, that's right which is WHY wading through the red tape and rigamarole beats risking losing one's house and being far broker than broke than one could have imagined in the aftermath.

[Raja]

3 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

People especially cops are such work alcholics if they have a medical procedure or surgery. They'll work right up until it's time for the procedure or surgery. Then they will leave immediately out afterwards. If the hospital staff won't let them leave they'll just leave on their own. Yanking out IVs and other stuff and leaving. No matter how serious it is to do so or how much pain. 

For the TV cop (private or government) to use the old Navy recruiting campaign, its not a job its an adventure. I higher calling if you like.  And multiple times a year they would engage in an once in a department's lifetime action that would call for the highest medals of valor.

[BlueSkies]

Family members that disappear and you never hear about them again:

 

Richie had an older brother at one time on Happy Days

Judy Winslow- family matters

Brenda Walsh- 90210.  I know she I think went overseas or something like that but that was like the end of her.  She might have as well been dead.  

The Code Man Step by Step

 

Some that just come to mind from memory.  That might not even be accurate on my end 

[Katy M]

18 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

Family members that disappear and you never hear about them again:

 

Richie had an older brother at one time on Happy Days

Judy Winslow- family matters

Brenda Walsh- 90210.  I know she I think went overseas or something like that but that was like the end of her.  She might have as well been dead.  

The Code Man Step by Step

 

Some that just come to mind from memory.  That might not even be accurate on my end 

I don't put Brenda in the same category because she at least actualy went somewhre, they mentioned her at least a few times after that, and nobody acted like she didn't exist.

Same with Cody.  They mentioned him.  He actually came back at a later pont.

 

But, yeah, Chuck Cunningham, Brendan on Step by Step, Judy on Family Matters, Carrie's sister on King of Queens. These people just all disappeared and Howard Cunninghma specifically said he had 2 children (Richie and  Joni) and Carrie's dad said he had one daughter.

[Raja]

3 hours ago, Katy M said:

But, yeah, Chuck Cunningham, Brendan on Step by Step, Judy on Family Matters, Carrie's sister on King of Queens. These people just all disappeared and Howard Cunninghma specifically said he had 2 children (Richie and  Joni)

Chuck, should his name never be mentioned, knows what he did.

[Danielg342]

This sign came up on my Twitter X feed (created by the user "Michael1979", who specializes in these funny signs) and it got me thinking about another common sighting on TV- people getting together to conduct "secret business" by sitting together on a park bench.

I've personally never understood this. On one hand, I get that it's likely more visually appealing to see two people talk to each other (and easier on logistics) than to have them communicate by letter, phone or (in today's age) online. I also get that it's a common safety tip to meet someone you don't know in a public place first before going anywhere else, and production crews would save on time and space filming one scene at the bench instead of filming a scene at the bench and a scene somewhere else.

On the other hand...revealing secrets on a bench, where the public could hear it, is incredibly risky and reckless. I'd imagine real spies (who are, likely, nothing at all like James Bond) don't conduct "business" out in the open. They'll go to safe houses or homes or at least talk in places that are more private than a park.

[Annber03]

Yeah, about the only show that could get away with that kind of inconspicuous meeting would be "Get Smart", and that's because, well, the absurdity of such a meetup, for the reasons you note, would be the whole point :p. Same with any other shows that do a comedic take on those kinds of storylines. 

But yeah, for a serious drama series, it would be rather jarring and confusing. 

[paulvdb]

Also people disguising themselves for their clandestine meetings. Wearing sunglasses, baseballcaps or other hats or some other form of disguise that basically screams "I'm here for a clandestine meeting." I'm sure real spies have more subtle ways to change their appearance that won't make them stand out among the other people in the park.

[andromeda331]

3 hours ago, paulvdb said:

Also people disguising themselves for their clandestine meetings. Wearing sunglasses, baseballcaps or other hats or some other form of disguise that basically screams "I'm here for a clandestine meeting." I'm sure real spies have more subtle ways to change their appearance that won't make them stand out among the other people in the park.

There's an episode of Burn Notice where Michael breaks ito a house. He gives a voice over that he never runs around in black and a ski mask when he breaks into house. Because if you get caught what are you going to say? He wants to look like a legitimate guest so he wears regular clothes and takes something from the fridge (in his case it's always yogurt). That way if you get caught just act confuse and apologize for taking the yogurt. I don't know how well the end part works but the rest makes more sense then dressing in black and a ski mask. Cause yeah that looks more suspicious. 

 

[andromeda331]

14 hours ago, Katy M said:

I don't put Brenda in the same category because she at least actualy went somewhre, they mentioned her at least a few times after that, and nobody acted like she didn't exist.

Same with Cody.  They mentioned him.  He actually came back at a later pont.

 

But, yeah, Chuck Cunningham, Brendan on Step by Step, Judy on Family Matters, Carrie's sister on King of Queens. These people just all disappeared and Howard Cunninghma specifically said he had 2 children (Richie and  Joni) and Carrie's dad said he had one daughter.

One of my favorites is on All My Children Bobby Martin goes up to the attic to get his skis and is never seen again. The show poked at that a couple times. At a party Jake Martin mentions the skeleton looks just like one of his brothers. And another time Opal goes up to the Martin attic and finds a skeleton holding skis. 

[merylinkid]

Parks are good places for meetings.   They are open spaces so hard to bug or have a listening device that can get close enough, it looks fairly normal to have two people just sitting on a bench chatting away, again open enough so you can see if someone is approaching or getting too close to overheard.  The chances of the authorities picking the right bench to surveil are low especially some place like Central Park or Rock Creek Park (NYC).

 

[DoctorAtomic]

11 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

There's an episode of Burn Notice where Michael breaks ito a house. He gives a voice over that he never runs around in black and a ski mask when he breaks into house. Because if you get caught what are you going to say? He wants to look like a legitimate guest so he wears regular clothes and takes something from the fridge (in his case it's always yogurt). That way if you get caught just act confuse and apologize for taking the yogurt. I don't know how well the end part works but the rest makes more sense then dressing in black and a ski mask. Cause yeah that looks more suspicious. 

 

I don't know if it was an article or web feature or what, but tptb on Burn Notice had a consultant who was either a spy, agent, whatever. 

So they worked all that out based on real life. I remember them saying, 'not all locks can be frozen, but this one can and this is how. Because it's a TV show Michael catches the break that it's the right lock."

I think those voice overs were all based on something irl like that. 

[ABay]

Burn Notice was such a fun show until it went off the rails at the end. Another victim of USA ditching their Characters Welcome era.

[Danielg342]

21 hours ago, merylinkid said:

Parks are good places for meetings.   They are open spaces so hard to bug or have a listening device that can get close enough, it looks fairly normal to have two people just sitting on a bench chatting away, again open enough so you can see if someone is approaching or getting too close to overheard.  The chances of the authorities picking the right bench to surveil are low especially some place like Central Park or Rock Creek Park (NYC).

 

I agree it's a good spot for a meeting, but is it a good spot for a secret meeting? One where one- or both, or all- of the attendees risk capture or serious harm if they're seen visibly in public? Is it also a great place to discuss sensitive trade or state secrets, when others in the park could potentially hear what is being said?

I mean, I suppose if the entire purpose of the meeting is for two characters to meet and someone gives the other a folder of sensitive material before leaving, then it might not be so bad. However, sitting and talking about the contents of that folder, especially at length? Sure, the chances of someone hearing what is being said may be low, but it's not zero. If I had really sensitive information to share, I'd want to go somewhere- like my own safehouse- where the odds no one will hear what I'm saying will be higher.

Now, I also grant Whitey Bulger supposedly spent a lot of time on the Santa Monica Pier and out in public even during his final years on the run, but he was old by that point and maybe decided he'd rather enjoy life and take whatever days he had left instead of trying to hide all the time. Would a younger person, and/or someone still running their criminal empire, make that same calculation?

[Zella]

I've read a fair amount about spycraft over the years--mainly in connection to the KGB and counterintelligence working against them--and the impression I get is any physical meeting is considered dangerous and they don't necessarily regard safehouse as "safe." So, no-contact dead drops are preferred. 

Earlier this year, I read Family of Spies about John Walker and his spy ring, and to meet his KGB contact in person, he wasn't allowed to do that in the United States after the first couple of times. He had to fly to Vienna, and after a series of maneuvers to ensure he wasn't being followed, he and his handler would walk and talk together for hours once or twice a year. Walker was furious about being forced to do this in January and February due to the cold and would beg to be taken to a safehouse, but they always refused. I think once the handler agreed to let them pop into a cafe to slurp soup, but IIRC, they couldn't act like they knew each other. Then back to the walking and talking in frigid conditions. LOL

And this wasn't one handler's preference. It was all of them. 

Edited May 28 by Zella

[Mabinogia]

I think a walk and talk would be preferable to sitting on a bench because 1) harder to hit a moving target and 2) easier to tell you're being followed if the same person who was behind you on street A was still behind you 5 blocks later. 

When I worked in NYC and had to walk from the subway to work I used to pretend I was trying to evade someone who was following me and would often take different routes to work. I always wanted to be a spy, other than the whole possibly getting captured, tortured and/or killed thing. 

[janie jones]

11 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

However, sitting and talking about the contents of that folder, especially at length? Sure, the chances of someone hearing what is being said may be low, but it's not zero.

Yeah, but whatever you're saying isn't going to mean anything to some rando just walking by and overhearing a snippet of your conversation. Who cares if someone and their dog hears that the subject will be in London on the 25th. Just don't come right out and say something ear-catching that someone else is going to want to call 911 over.

[Dimity]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

Walker was furious about being forced to do this in January and February

Why am I feeling no sympathy for the traitor?

[Mabinogia]

1 hour ago, janie jones said:

seWho cares if someone and their dog hears that the subject will be in London on the 25th. Just don't come right out and say something ear-catching that someone else is going to want to call 911 over.

Yep, that's why you come up with codes. Maybe have a dog with you and pretend you're talking about the dog.

Agent A: "Cute dog. I had one like that as a boy," (I'm your contact)

Agent B: " I just got him, on the 25th." (the drop will be the 25th)

Agent A: "Is this for first dog?" (where?)

Agent A: "Oh, my bulldog Astor died 3 years ago, but I just got this puppy 12 days ago (it will be at 312 Astoria Blvd)

" I see" (got it) 

Then they go about their lives. 

Even if someone who knows they are spies overhears them they will have to figure out the code. Now this code wouldn't be too hard to manage. 

As long as you avoid the really cryptic stuff like "the owl hoots at midnight" I think you'd be fine. 

[DoctorAtomic]

I'm not saying nothing to you people. Talk about behind the iron curtain. 

[Shannon L.]

15 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

As long as you avoid the really cryptic stuff like "the owl hoots at midnight" I think you'd be fine. 

Dogs barking can't fly without umbrella.  Which means "enemy nearby, can't escape without cover".

Points to you if you know what movie that's from.

Edited May 29 by Shannon L.

[Bastet]

4 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Points to you if you know what movie that's from.

Jumpin' Jack Flash.  "Dogs barking, can't fly without umbrella" was my immediate reaction to the "owl hoots at midnight" hypothetical, too; if you hadn't already posted it, I would have.

Edited May 29 by Bastet

[ABay]

I have such fond memories of Jumpin' Jack Flash that I'm afraid to ever watch it again.

[Mabinogia]

OMG I loved that movie! I knew that sounded familiar but I had to look it up. (I have a terrible memory, which is bad for real life but great for entertainment as I can watch a show over and over and it's almost like watching for the first time lol) Except Clue. I know almost all the scene's in Clue. And I'm close to knowing most of The IT Crowd. But then I've watched those dozens of times each. 

But also I'd make a terrible spy because I'd clearly forget all the codes and would wonder if you could fly with an umbrella or if the TSA now consider that a deadly weapon. 

[JustHereForFood]

On 5/27/2024 at 8:16 AM, Danielg342 said:

I've personally never understood this. On one hand, I get that it's likely more visually appealing to see two people talk to each other (and easier on logistics) than to have them communicate by letter, phone or (in today's age) online. I also get that it's a common safety tip to meet someone you don't know in a public place first before going anywhere else, and production crews would save on time and space filming one scene at the bench instead of filming a scene at the bench and a scene somewhere else.

On the other hand...revealing secrets on a bench, where the public could hear it, is incredibly risky and reckless. I'd imagine real spies (who are, likely, nothing at all like James Bond) don't conduct "business" out in the open. They'll go to safe houses or homes or at least talk in places that are more private than a park.

Good Omens parodied this by having multiple pairs of people meeting in St James' park in London, sometimes approaching a wrong person. 

[Bastet]

41 minutes ago, ABay said:

I have such fond memories of Jumpin' Jack Flash that I'm afraid to ever watch it again.

A friend bought the DVD several years ago when something started us quoting lines from it, and we still cracked up.  Even the scenes chock full of clichés, because Whoopi slays with the delivery.  Example:  Everybody remembers "I'm a little black woman in a big silver box", but the entire phone booth scene is funny.  "Only in motherfuckin' New York could you be in a goddamn phone booth and nobody does anything!"

 

[Zella]

4 hours ago, Dimity said:

Why am I feeling no sympathy for the traitor?

He is one of the most despicable people I've ever read about, so I also found his rant hilarious and didn't feel the slightest bit sorry for him. The way he treated his family and so-called friends was horrible. 

[paulvdb]

7 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

But also I'd make a terrible spy because I'd clearly forget all the codes and would wonder if you could fly with an umbrella or if the TSA now consider that a deadly weapon. 

When I read that I didn't even think about taking an umbrella on a plane. I just assumed that it was a Mary Poppins reference.

[Danielg342]

13 hours ago, janie jones said:

Yeah, but whatever you're saying isn't going to mean anything to some rando just walking by and overhearing a snippet of your conversation. Who cares if someone and their dog hears that the subject will be in London on the 25th. Just don't come right out and say something ear-catching that someone else is going to want to call 911 over.

If you're a fugitive, you would risk someone spotting you.

As far as the likelihood that someone passing by might hear something compromising and report it- I've already admitted the chance of that happening is low. I'm not sure what the actual odds would be, but it's definitely not 100% foolproof. Which may ease my mind as a (supposedly) normal guy, but would it ease the mind of a super-paranoid super-spy?

I should mention the TV show where I'm most familiar with using this trope is The Blacklist, and they constantly had wanted criminals- supposedly ones high up the chain on the FBI's wanted list- meeting in public parks. Now, Red had immunity so maybe he didn't care, but many of the people he met with should presumably know better than to meet out in the open like that.

[possibilities]

Many years ago (40 or so), I read a novel by Marge Piercey, about a woman who was wanted for engaging in illegal activities as part of her activism many years earlier. She was basically living underground, off the grid, whatever the term is for people who are legitimately paranoid about being caught and sent to prison.

I can't remember all the details, but as I recall, the character carried wigs and other disguise props (like different shaped eyeglasses) in her bag at all times and would sometimes change her appearance in a public bathroom on a mment's notice when she felt she was recognized or being followed.

Just reading it, I felt myself getting spooked and paranoid and anxious. I could never be a spy or a fugitive. 

Edited May 29 by possibilities

[Raja]

I'm pretty sure that Barney Miller did a story about the guy in hiding to find out nobody cared. On the other hand Lenny Brisco immediately got on an old radical because an undercover officer was killed when he was a rookie on Law & Order 

Edited May 29 by Raja

[possibilities]

I remember that Barney Miller episode. The guy was very disappointed not to be taken seriously enough to be prosecuted. 

I don't know any fugitives IRL, so I don't know how they really live or how much anybody is still looking for or interested in prosecuting them. But thinking about it is so stressful, I know I'd be unable to sustain any kind of ruse.

 

[Mabinogia]

9 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

I should mention the TV show where I'm most familiar with using this trope is The Blacklist, and they constantly had wanted criminals- supposedly ones high up the chain on the FBI's wanted list- meeting in public parks. Now, Red had immunity so maybe he didn't care, but many of the people he met with should presumably know better than to meet out in the open like that.

ok, fugitive is a whole other kettle of fish. Everyone knows that if you're a fugitive you have to buy some box dye at the local CVS, throw on a baseball cap and some glasses and no one will know it's you. I can't tell you the number of times I put on my old lady reading glasses and my friends were like "why are you talking to me like we know each other, I've never seen you before in my life!" (or maybe they were just trying to get rid of me...hmmm)

[Zella]

Speaking of potential fugitive disguises, I've been reading about the OJ Simpson trial lately--I was in kindergarten/1st grade at the time--and was gobsmacked to learn he had a fake mustache and goatee in the car with him during the infamous Bronco chase. 

[Dimity]

9 minutes ago, Zella said:

Speaking of potential fugitive disguises, I've been reading about the OJ Simpson trial lately--I was in kindergarten/1st grade at the time--and was gobsmacked to learn he had a fake mustache and goatee in the car with him during the infamous Bronco chase. 

I was older than you at the time but the OJ Simpson trial was my first introduction to the reality that the bad guy doesn't always lose.  TV, to that point, had not prepared me for that.  

[Zella]

10 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I was older than you at the time but the OJ Simpson trial was my first introduction to the reality that the bad guy doesn't always lose.  TV, to that point, had not prepared me for that.  

Yeah I kind of knew the very basics of the case going into it, but it is really shocking to me how much evidence they had against him. I vaguely knew there was blood but never knew about all the hair and fiber evidence tying him to the scene. 

[DoctorAtomic]

I got to live through the OJ trial daily on CourtTV. 

[Raja]

1 hour ago, Dimity said:

I was older than you at the time but the OJ Simpson trial was my first introduction to the reality that the bad guy doesn't always lose.  TV, to that point, had not prepared me for that.  

You watched the wrong shows. 😉 Google tells Ben  Stone only had a 60% win rate on Law & Order the year before the trial.

[proserpina65]

21 hours ago, possibilities said:

I don't know any fugitives IRL, so I don't know how they really live or how much anybody is still looking for or interested in prosecuting them. But thinking about it is so stressful, I know I'd be unable to sustain any kind of ruse.

Judging by the idiots who miss trial dates and skip out on bail in the circuit court where I work, they don't really put a lot of effort into it.  Especially not when they run out of beer over the weekend.

[possibilities]

Does that work, or do they get caught and hauled in anyway?

[Browncoat]

22 hours ago, possibilities said:

I don't know any fugitives IRL

Are you sure?  LOL

[Calvada]

On 5/28/2024 at 8:26 PM, Bastet said:

A friend bought the DVD several years ago when something started us quoting lines from it, and we still cracked up.  Even the scenes chock full of clichés, because Whoopi slays with the delivery.  Example:  Everybody remembers "I'm a little black woman in a big silver box", but the entire phone booth scene is funny.  "Only in motherfuckin' New York could you be in a goddamn phone booth and nobody does anything!"

 

Originally Shelley Long was supposed to star in this movie.  Can you imagine how different it would have been?

Topic:  on TV, people go from comas on a ventilator to waking up and having no monitors or any other medical equipment, able to converse without even a raspy throat from having a tube shoved down in, and leaving the hospital the next day.  They also can have major abdominal or thoracic surgery and within 36 hours be moving easily and without any visible discomfort.  

 

[DoctorAtomic]

And then they go to the park for their clandestine meeting. 

[Notabug]

1 hour ago, Calvada said:

Originally Shelley Long was supposed to star in this movie.  Can you imagine how different it would have been?

Topic:  on TV, people go from comas on a ventilator to waking up and having no monitors or any other medical equipment, able to converse without even a raspy throat from having a tube shoved down in, and leaving the hospital the next day.  They also can have major abdominal or thoracic surgery and within 36 hours be moving easily and without any visible discomfort.  

 

And, while they're in their coma, they're lying in that hospital bed like Sleeping Beauty.  They're in a spotless hospital gown, the sheets are pristine white.  The patient has clean hair in a flattering style.  Nobody has bedhead.  The guys are clean shaven or their beard is neatly trimmed and the ladies are fully made up, often with false eyelashes and even lipstick.

The most unbelievable storylines are those where someone is in an accident and paralyzed from the waist down (because quadriplegia is apparently too much for the soaps).  The person is completely unable to use their legs, confined to a wheelchair for weeks or even months, when, suddenly, they completely regain everything they've lost instantly.  Their legs aren't weak despite not having used them for months. The patient usually stands up, takes 3 steps and is immediately climbing the stairs and running after their lost love.  Nobody needs a walker or intensive physical therapy to regain their strength.  Better yet are the plots where someone is blinded and suddenly completely regains their sight with no lasting effects.

[Calvada]

And then there's the situation where the person gets some horrible gash or bruise on their face after being assaulted or being in an accident, and just a couple days later it's healed without a mark left from the injury, no fading bruises.  

[andromeda331]

On 5/28/2024 at 7:17 PM, JustHereForFood said:

Good Omens parodied this by having multiple pairs of people meeting in St James' park in London, sometimes approaching a wrong person. 

Yeah in season 2 first episode a spy approaches Crowley and says  "The clarinet can make beautiful music." he directs the spy to the correct other spy. That's not at all suspicious having a stranger walking up to talking about the clarinet. 

[Lugal]

14 hours ago, Notabug said:

And, while they're in their coma, they're lying in that hospital bed like Sleeping Beauty.  They're in a spotless hospital gown, the sheets are pristine white.  The patient has clean hair in a flattering style.  Nobody has bedhead.  The guys are clean shaven or their beard is neatly trimmed and the ladies are fully made up, often with false eyelashes and even lipstick.

Apparently all TV hospitals have a full hair and makeup staff.  They do amazing work!

[Raja]

28 minutes ago, Lugal said:

Apparently all TV hospitals have a full hair and makeup staff.  They do amazing work!

If you don't look good you won't feel good 

[proserpina65]

On 5/30/2024 at 2:14 PM, possibilities said:

Does that work, or do they get caught and hauled in anyway?

They usually get caught.

[ABay]

2 hours ago, Raja said:

If you don't look good you won't feel good 

According to Fernando Lamas (Billy Crystal on SNL), it's more important to look good than to feel good.