Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[RealHousewife]

Talking to yourself, especially in public, extra especially talking about your biggest secrets, extra, extra especially not going to happen IRL when you are a criminal. Happens on Days of Our Lives all the time. The people with the most to hide love to wander around in public talking about how they hope no one finds out they just killed somebody.

I feel bad and self-conscious if I curse in public or someone hears an embarrassing phone conversation.

Edited May 1, 2021 by RealHousewife

[Mabinogia]

10 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

The people with the most to hide love to wander around in public talking about how they hope no one finds out they just killed somebody.

Seriously, there is no reason why you should verbalize your special murder. If you can't keep it to yourself, just don't do it!

I will say, re: the talking to myself in public bit, I find, post-lockdown, when I do go out in public, mostly to the grocery store, I find myself talking out loud to myself. I do not, however, confess my deepest secrets in the produce aisle, especially when I emit a gaseous odor. when that happens I just make a hasty, silent exit. 

[Katy M]

 

20 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

The people with the most to hide love to wander around in public talking about how they hope no one finds out they just killed somebody.

this is a valuable lesson I have learned from tv.  if you kill somebody (or do anything you would prefer nobody else know about), pretend you didn't do it. I mean even to yourself.  If you didn't do it you won't talk about it.  You won't try any shenanigans to try to cover it up thereby exposing yourself in the crazy trap someone set up by telling you that they're going to the crime scene tomorrow at dawn to find the murder weapon.  You won't be acting jumpy and suspicious.  

the only time this won't work is if someone else finds out and blackmails you.  In this case, kill the blackmailer and pretend you didn't do it.

Edited May 1, 2021 by Katy M

[RealHousewife]

Yeah if you want to commit crime and get away with it, watch soaps and act complete the opposite of how the characters do. lol 

[Hiyo]

Santa Barbara once poked fun at this trope. One of the characters was monologging to herself out loud on the beach. Some random background character came up to her and asked her if she was ok and/or began commenting on what she had said. She just gave him this funny look, walked away from him to another part of the beach, and began monologging to herself again.

Edited May 1, 2021 by Hiyo

[Kel Varnsen]

4 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

Based on dexter miami is full of serial killers.   

Also Las Vegas as per CSI. Like one a year practically.

[Katy M]

29 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

Santa Barbara once poked fun at this trope. One of the characters was monologging to herself out loud on the beach. Some random background character came up to her and asked her if she was ok and/or began commenting on what she had said. She just gave him this funny look, walked away from him to another part of the beach, and began monologging to herself again.

Was it Gina?

[Hiyo]

It was Augusta.

[Leeds]

Female detectives wearing half-unbuttoned, low-cut, too tight, cleavage baring blouses/shirts.  (Hello Olivia Benson and friends.)

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, Hiyo said:

It was Augusta.

that makes sense, too.  Lionel sure knew how to pick 'em.

58 minutes ago, Leeds said:

Female detectives wearing half-unbuttoned, low-cut, too tight, cleavage baring blouses/shirts.  (Hello Olivia Benson and friends.)

And don't forget foot chases in high heels.

[Mabinogia]

16 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Lionel sure knew how to pick 'em.

My secret Ship was Lionel Lockridge and Pamela Capwell. Imagine my joy when the actors playing those two characters turned up on Facts of Life as Blair's parents. I got pretty giddy. 

Re: the female cop thing. I'm currently binging some old CSI:NY and while Stella's hair is absolutely stunning (I have stick straight hair so I'm a sucker for curls), wearing it down all the time is really impractical for her job. Maybe she wears the low cut shirts so she doesn't get overheated from not having her hair up or pulled back while chasing perps in her heels. Running and keeping balance is hard work yo!

[DrSpaceman73]

And of course wherever angela lansbury lived in murder she wrote had to have by far the highest per capita murder rate in the world.  

[Hiyo]

Lived? Hell any place she just visited probably had bodies dropping.

[kiddo82]

9 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

Lived? Hell any place she just visited probably had bodies dropping.

That's so true of any cop procedural!  Go on vacation?  Have to solve a murder.  Go to your class reunion?  Have to solve a murder.  Go to the grocery store?  Have to solve a murder.  Get on a plane?  Have to solve a murder mid flight before it touches down in a country where you have no jurisdiction.

[praeceptrix]

We all know that Jessica Fletcher was actually responsible for bumping off 90% of the victims!

Add to the list of places with ridiculously high rates of murders and serial killers: Midsomer. I'm up to season 8 and almost every single episode has multiple murders! One of the comments on an episode on YouTube pointed out how rare it was for there to be only a single murder. Then there's the family connection: I get that the series is in the cozy genre and thus steeped in small English village ambiance, but it's still more than a little odd for Tom Barnaby's wife and daughter to be tangentially connected to so many of his cases. 

[Hiyo]

Those small quaint English countryside towns are in truth a hot bed of murder, corruption, adultery, and blackmail. Must be something in the tea, I imagine.

[Ceindreadh]

14 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

 

Re: the female cop thing. I'm currently binging some old CSI:NY and while Stella's hair is absolutely stunning (I have stick straight hair so I'm a sucker for curls), wearing it down all the time is really impractical for her job. Maybe she wears the low cut shirts so she doesn't get overheated from not having her hair up or pulled back while chasing perps in her heels. Running and keeping balance is hard work yo!

I've just finished rewatching Season 1 of CSI NY and I get so annoyed with Stella and Aiden for wearing their hair loose, especially when processing evidence.  I mean, I get that TPTB don't want their cast covered up with proper crime scene suits and hoods, but they could at least spring for a scrunchie or two to keep their hair out of the way. 

[DrSpaceman73]

3 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Lived? Hell any place she just visited probably had bodies dropping.

Certainly.  The old joke you don't want to ever go to a dinner party where she is in attendance. 

[Katy M]

3 hours ago, kiddo82 said:

That's so true of any cop procedural!  Go on vacation?  Have to solve a murder.  Go to your class reunion?  Have to solve a murder.  Go to the grocery store?  Have to solve a murder.  Get on a plane?  Have to solve a murder mid flight before it touches down in a country where you have no jurisdiction.

Speaking of, if not murder, at least something happens every flight.  Someone goes into labor (seriously, why is she even flying?), has a heart attack, plane gets hijacked, there's a bomb on it, people have sex in the bathroom.  I've never witnessed any of these things on any flight.  Except maybe the heart attack one. I'm not really sure what happened, but I do know on one flight we had to wait for some in medical distress to be deboarded first.  On tv nobody would complain about that, but I feel like I remember some grumbling, but it was years ago.

[Raja]

18 hours ago, Leeds said:

Female detectives wearing half-unbuttoned, low-cut, too tight, cleavage baring blouses/shirts.  (Hello Olivia Benson and friends.)

I wouldn't limit it to female detectives I remember Jon and Ponch with their skintight CHiP uniforms on going forward to middle aged S.W.A.T officers today.

[Mabinogia]

3 hours ago, praeceptrix said:

We all know that Jessica Fletcher was actually responsible for bumping off 90% of the victims!

With all the reboots going on, where is the reboot of Murder She Wrote where we are shown that JB Fletcher is really the worlds greatest serial killer! Not gonna lie, I'd probably watch it. 

[Hiyo]

“where is the reboot of Murder She Wrote where we are shown that JB Fletcher is really the worlds greatest serial killer!”

While successfully framing someone else for each murder. 

[Mabinogia]

18 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

While successfully framing someone else for each murder. 

If you are going to go around killing people, then proving that someone else was the killer while seemingly being a sweet old lady who writes crime novels is the only way to go. You get away with the crime, you are called a hero, and you are rich from all the bestsellers you write based off the crimes you've committed. Jessica Fletcher is a diabolical genius! haha

[Hiyo]

Seriously Octavia Spencer get on this.

[Leeds]

4 hours ago, Ceindreadh said:

I've just finished rewatching Season 1 of CSI NY and I get so annoyed with Stella and Aiden for wearing their hair loose, especially when processing evidence.  I mean, I get that TPTB don't want their cast covered up with proper crime scene suits and hoods, but they could at least spring for a scrunchie or two to keep their hair out of the way. 

But tying their hair back wouldn't be a look appealing to the favoured male demographic.  Unless of course the detective removed the scrunchie and tossed her hair around her face within a couple of minutes of the show starting.  (And removed her glasses.)

[Mabinogia]

6 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

Seriously Octavia Spencer get on this.

She'd be perfect!!!! I really need this in my life now.

[Lugal]

22 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

If you are going to go around killing people, then proving that someone else was the killer while seemingly being a sweet old lady who writes crime novels is the only way to go. You get away with the crime, you are called a hero, and you are rich from all the bestsellers you write based off the crimes you've committed. Jessica Fletcher is a diabolical genius! haha

I had a friend who was a mystery writer and her husband used to joke that, "Other men would be nervous if their wives sat around all day thinking of ways to kill people and get away with it."

[DoctorAtomic]

I'm actually surprised there's never been any talk of a Murder, She Wrote reboot. 

Psych also did a great off the cuff on all the murderings. When a new chief was appointed (Anthony Michael Hall) he was ranting about all the changes he was going to make, including, 'what the hell is going on here with over 150 murders in the last 5 years.'

[Raja]

1 hour ago, Hiyo said:

“where is the reboot of Murder She Wrote where we are shown that JB Fletcher is really the worlds greatest serial killer!”

While successfully framing someone else for each murder. 

That's what they do with the original actor when the movie based on TV shows 

[Hiyo]

“I'm actually surprised there's never been any talk of a Murder, She Wrote reboot.”

Actually, there was talk of one circa 2013/2014, which would have starred...Octavia Spencer.

Edited May 2, 2021 by Hiyo

[RealHousewife]

I might have already mentioned this, but dressing super sexed up M-F is also a TV thing. I'm very girlie and some people think it's strange I favor dresses to pants. I have also seen some women show a little cleavage now and then at work. But I don't know a single woman who dresses like Gabi Hernandez on Days of Our Lives. She's a beautiful girl with a great figure and works in fashion. I don't expect her to be dressed in pants suits all the time, but the club wear they have her in all the time is so extra. 

[WinnieWinkle]

4 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I might have already mentioned this, but dressing super sexed up M-F is also a TV thing.

What I notice are women dressed up super sexy (cleavage down to the waist for instance) for meals with their parents.  I mean does anyone really do this? I mean I don't think you need to show up for Sunday supper in a turtleneck and a midi skirt but you also aren't terribly likely to dress like you're going to a nightclub either!

[RealHousewife]

1 minute ago, WinnieWinkle said:

What I notice are women dressed up super sexy (cleavage down to the waist for instance) for meals with their parents.  I mean does anyone really do this? I mean I don't think you need to show up for Sunday supper in a turtleneck and a midi skirt but you also aren't terribly likely to dress like you're going to a nightclub either!

This too. I have one friend who likes to dress super sexy all the time, but she's the exception. The rest of my friends and I save the sexy clothes for bars, clubs, dance socials, things like that. That's not to say we're dressed like nuns for family events, but it just seems awkward and uncomfortable to have your boobs and butt falling out imo. 

[supposebly]

47 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

but it just seems awkward and uncomfortable to have your boobs and butt falling out imo. 

I think that's always awkward. Even when clubbing.

[Shannon L.]

How about the way Penelope Garcia dressed on Criminal Minds? I love her character and even the quirky style but for work? I don't think so.

[andromeda331]

10 hours ago, Lugal said:

I had a friend who was a mystery writer and her husband used to joke that, "Other men would be nervous if their wives sat around all day thinking of ways to kill people and get away with it."

On Castle usually on the DVD in beginning of the episode Castle would do a voice over that "there are two types of people who sit around all day thinking about murder. Psychopaths and mystery writers I'm the one that pays better"

 

As for places where there's always murders. I have to mention one of my favorites Hudson University. Almost everyone at that school is either a murderer or victim. After awhile you start wondering why anyone would go there and how the no one at the university finds that odd. 

[SVNBob]

56 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

As for places where there's always murders. I have to mention one of my favorites Hudson University. Almost everyone at that school is either a murderer or victim. After awhile you start wondering why anyone would go there and how the no one at the university finds that odd. 

Hudson U. must have the rule in place (that doesn't exist in reality, afaik) where if your roommate dies, you get automatic A's in all your classes for the semester.  It's the only explanation.

[RealHousewife]

6 hours ago, supposebly said:

I think that's always awkward. Even when clubbing.

Haha sometimes more so when clubbing! If you're dressed in super skimpy clothes but just standing there, it's not as risky as when you're dancing. 

Back to topic, I always admire how perfect perfect homes are on TV. Even those of us who try to be clean and organized can have clutter now and then. On TV everything is beautiful unless a messy room is part of the storyline. 

[Hiyo]

Quote

Hudson U. must have the rule in place (that doesn't exist in reality, afaik) where if your roommate dies, you get automatic A's in all your classes for the semester. 

They must have dozens of students getting all A's that way each semester.

Quote

I always admire how perfect perfect homes are on TV. Even those of us who try to be clean and organized can have clutter now and then. On TV everything is beautiful unless a messy room is part of the storyline. 

To paraphrase Dominique Deveraux, they do have an exquisitely showplace quality to them.

[LexieLily]

3 hours ago, SVNBob said:

Hudson U. must have the rule in place (that doesn't exist in reality, afaik) where if your roommate dies, you get automatic A's in all your classes for the semester.  It's the only explanation.

I swear I heard of this rule on one of those urban legends shows back in the day. Lol.

(Side note: was it only me that ever watched a show on TLC called Mostly True Stories: Urban Legends Revealed, or has anyone else heard of that?)

Edited May 3, 2021 by LexieLily

[Katy M]

3 hours ago, LexieLily said:

I swear I heard of this rule on one of those urban legends shows back in the day. Lol.

It was the whole plot for a movie, i don't remember the name or who was in it. It was specifically suicide, not just dying.  I heard the same rumor when I was in college before that movie came out.  

[Hiyo]

Quote

It was the whole plot for a movie

Yup. Dead Man on Campus. Although that plot was predicated on your roommate committing suicide. Here is the trailer. As expected from an MTV movie released in 1998, imagine just about every mid to late 90s cliche got together, they all threw up, and that puke was made into a movie.

 

Edited May 3, 2021 by Hiyo

[Ohiopirate02]

6 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Haha sometimes more so when clubbing! If you're dressed in super skimpy clothes but just standing there, it's not as risky as when you're dancing. 

Back to topic, I always admire how perfect perfect homes are on TV. Even those of us who try to be clean and organized can have clutter now and then. On TV everything is beautiful unless a messy room is part of the storyline. 

One thing I liked about Everybody Loves Raymond is Ray and Debra's house is always cluttered.  Each episode has different toys scattered around the living room in the way a family with 3 kids would be.  As the kids get older in later seasons, the toys start to disappear.  Certain props like Marie's canister show up in different places as the years go by.  

[WinnieWinkle]

59 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

One thing I liked about Everybody Loves Raymond is Ray and Debra's house is always cluttered

What I also liked about their house was that it was furnished the way you'd expect a couple with a decent income bringing up 3 kids to furnish their house.  Nice stuff but not high end.  SOme of these shows that have youngish couples in mini mansions and showroom quality furniture and high end appliances have me rolling my eyes very hard.

On a clothes related topic - I love shows where the main character wear the same clothes once in a while!  I don't mean like Columbo's raincoat but regular outfits showing up time and again throughout the run of a series.  Everybody Loves Raymond was very good about this but some shows, even shows that were supposed to be about families struggling financially, just weren't.  Do they think no one will notice?

[Ohiopirate02]

30 minutes ago, WinnieWinkle said:

On a clothes related topic - I love shows where the main character wear the same clothes once in a while!  I don't mean like Columbo's raincoat but regular outfits showing up time and again throughout the run of a series.  Everybody Loves Raymond was very good about this but some shows, even shows that were supposed to be about families struggling financially, just weren't.  Do they think no one will notice?

While I love Fran Fine's fashion, there is no way that she could afford her wardrobe on her nanny salary.  Nor have the closet space to store all of it.  

[Blergh]

It was funny how, on Bonanza, Ben Cartwright was virtually the wealthiest landowner in Nevada whose ranch seemed to take up almost the entire Lake Tahoe area- yet he and his sons almost always wore the very same outfits day after day, week after week, year after year. 

Of course, the reason that was done was so they could shoot scenes out of order AND reuse stock footage without having to worry about  the clothes matching .

[WinnieWinkle]

28 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

While I love Fran Fine's fashion, there is no way that she could afford her wardrobe on her nanny salary.  Nor have the closet space to store all of it. 

It's like Hallmark Christmas movies where the heroine travels somewhere with one small suitcase that magically contains at least 5  winter coats and a ball  gown!

Edited May 3, 2021 by WinnieWinkle

[Blergh]

11 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

While I love Fran Fine's fashion, there is no way that she could afford her wardrobe on her nanny salary.  Nor have the closet space to store all of it.  

Well, she didn't pay any rent but I agree about the closet space to stow it. 

OTOH, I liked how in Keeping Up Appearances both in their home and when they were attempting to travel to the QE II, Hyacinth's wardrobe was shown taking up a HUGE amount of space that poor Richard and everyone else had no choice but have to somehow contend with it. There ARE comic possibilities re having too many clothes and what it does to everyone else. 

[Zella]

26 minutes ago, Blergh said:

It was funny how, on Bonanza, Ben Cartwright was virtually the wealthiest landowner in Nevada whose ranch seemed to take up almost the entire Lake Tahoe area- yet he and his sons almost always wore the very same outfits day after day, week after week, year after year. 

Of course, the reason that was done was so they could shoot scenes out of order AND reuse stock footage without having to worry about  the clothes matching .

It cracks me up to compare the earlier episodes to the somewhat later ones after they figured this out. They initially had a broader color palette for them before they were like "Screw it!" LOL

[Bastet]

The Conners always had a mildly cluttered house unless company was coming.  I love when someone showed up unexpectedly, and Roseanne said, "You'll have to excuse the mess; we live here."  (It's even messier now, with half of Lanford living there.)

And they had realistically-sized wardrobes, too.

I like that on Major Crimes, Sharon Raydor didn't have an endless collection of business attire.  She had a lot, and nice stuff, which comports with her financial status, but there were very few items we didn't see her in several different times.  I hate when characters have a new suit and new shirt every episode, when there's no way they could afford that.  Sharon had a realistic professional wardrobe, with a lot of different blouses and a much smaller collection of suits, slacks, and skirts to mix and match them with.