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Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality


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Every business has a cute, quirky*, really smart woman working on the phones or as an assistant who has a charming, flirty relationship with the office hunk and will do anything for him.

*Her quirky character is either her personality or the way she dresses or both. 

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At the same office with those damned Christmas Eve parties, we had a guy who thought he was the office hunk. He was not. But he kept telling us that he was considered very pretty. LOL Um, okay, dude. He tried to style his hair like Ragnar on The Vikings. Let me tell you, that look only looks good on Travis Fimmel. 

He also once was offended that his wife thought Jason Momoa was hot. So, he asked a breakroom full of women why any woman would be attracted to Jason Momoa, and we were all like, "Have you seen Jason Momoa?" And then he got defensive about it, which made us all start laughing so hard that he stomped out of the room. 

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2 minutes ago, Zella said:

Let's just say I do not miss him. Or that job. 😂

He sounds like the self-proclaimed Adonis we had at the job years ago- only to cap things off this dude wore enough perfume so everyone could smell him around corners long before his arrival! If only this type were SOLELY found in TV shows! 

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3 minutes ago, Blergh said:

He sounds like the self-proclaimed Adonis we had at the job years ago- only to cap things off this dude wore enough perfume so everyone could smell him around corners long before his arrival! If only this type were SOLELY found in TV shows! 

I will say in this guy's favor, the perfume was never an issue! I am really allergic to quite a few perfumes/colognes, so I would have had to have barricaded myself in my office to avoid him and his stench! 

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I had the female equivalent of someone who thought they were the office hottie. She would constantly wear highly inappropriately tight and revealing clothing. I should not be able to see the print pattern of someone’s underwear through their pants, thank you. My carpoolmates lived for my (almost) daily reports about what she wore that day. 

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5 hours ago, Zella said:

He also once was offended that his wife thought Jason Momoa was hot. So, he asked a breakroom full of women why any woman would be attracted to Jason Momoa, and we were all like, "Have you seen Jason Momoa?" And then he got defensive about it, which made us all start laughing so hard that he stomped out of the room. 

...wow. 

I've only seen the occasional photo of Momoa and that's it, and he doesn't really seem my type, personally (though maybe if I saw him in something that might change, I dunno), but still, geez, insecure much there, dude? 

Most of the places I worked, I had mostly female co-workers, and all my bosses thus far have been women. They were nice-looking and all, but none of them ever had that "Yeah, I'm so hot, check me out" attitude about them, thankfully. 

And luckily, neither were the few male co-workers I had. In fact, when I worked at a bookstore, one day I was looking up something about the Goosebumps author R.L. Stine online and realized he honest to God looked exactly like this guy I worked with. We're talking, 'If I didn't know better, I'd swear they were related' kind of similarity :p. Said co-worker was amused by the resemblance as well, to the point we actually printed out the picture of Stine and taped it to the inside of the manager's notebook just because it was so funny and we wanted to keep it on hand (my manager was fine with that, as she found it funny, too) :D. 

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19 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

I've only seen the occasional photo of Momoa and that's it, and he doesn't really seem my type, personally (though maybe if I saw him in something that might change, I dunno), but still, geez, insecure much there, dude? 

Well, if he said it while they were, shall we say, busy doing something, I could see how that would bother him.  Context is everything.

20 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

Most of the places I worked, I had mostly female co-workers, and all my bosses thus far have been women. They were nice-looking and all, but none of them ever had that "Yeah, I'm so hot, check me out" attitude about them, thankfully. 

I worked with this woman once who dressed like she wanted everyone to check her out.  Then one time I answered the phone and the person on the other end said something like "I'm just calling the sexiest woman in (town I live in)."  I almost hung up thinking what the heck?  But, then I realized what was probably happening and asked if he was looking for the other woman.  Yep.  Who calls an office like that?  

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7 hours ago, Zella said:

He also once was offended that his wife thought Jason Momoa was hot. So, he asked a breakroom full of women why any woman would be attracted to Jason Momoa, and we were all like, "Have you seen Jason Momoa?"

I'm a straight guy and I know the answer to that question.

Years ago I worked with a guy who would come onto every attractive woman who came in the door (magic tricks, giving away things whatever he thought would work).  He didn't think he was Adonis, and looked more like Buddha (Laughing Buddha, not Keanu Reeves) and that was his shtick.  He also studied a lot of psychology and would use that to his advantage.  I had two very attractive female friends that came in the store at different times and one was like: "He's so sweet to me!"  The other's reaction was more: "Eww, he creeps me out!"

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On 10/25/2020 at 4:08 PM, Katy M said:

Well, if he said it while they were, shall we say, busy doing something, I could see how that would bother him.  Context is everything.

What are you suggesting they were doing in the break room, and why would him interrupting it bother him and not them?

The only Jason Momoa conversation I've had at work was one woman saying he was hot, and no one else agreeing, including one person exclaiming, "Ew no! He looks like a caveman!"

 

Edited by janie jones
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19 minutes ago, janie jones said:

What are you suggesting they were doing in the break room, and why would him interrupting it bother him and not them?

The only Jason Momoa conversation I've had at work was one woman saying he was hot, and no one else agreeing, including one person exclaiming, "Ew no! He looks like a caveman!"

 

Ha, ha. No.  I meant he and his wife were busy when his wife told him Jason Mamoa was hot.

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People on TV who are brushing their teeth wander about the house!  I don't know anyone in real life who does not stay hunched over the bathroom sink, unless they are pushed away by a more aggressive member of the family.  TV people go from the bathroom to the bedroom to the living room - all with the brush between their teeth!

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8 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

People on TV who are brushing their teeth wander about the house!  I don't know anyone in real life who does not stay hunched over the bathroom sink, unless they are pushed away by a more aggressive member of the family.  TV people go from the bathroom to the bedroom to the living room - all with the brush between their teeth!

I do.

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22 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

People on TV who are brushing their teeth wander about the house!  I don't know anyone in real life who does not stay hunched over the bathroom sink, unless they are pushed away by a more aggressive member of the family.  TV people go from the bathroom to the bedroom to the living room - all with the brush between their teeth!

 

13 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I do.

My husband and I do it on occasion, too.

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1 hour ago, meep.meep said:

People on TV who are brushing their teeth wander about the house!  I don't know anyone in real life who does not stay hunched over the bathroom sink, unless they are pushed away by a more aggressive member of the family.  TV people go from the bathroom to the bedroom to the living room - all with the brush between their teeth!

I wander around the house, too. 

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1 hour ago, meep.meep said:

People on TV who are brushing their teeth wander about the house!  I don't know anyone in real life who does not stay hunched over the bathroom sink, unless they are pushed away by a more aggressive member of the family.  TV people go from the bathroom to the bedroom to the living room - all with the brush between their teeth!

I just did that not three hours ago.  And it's not at all unusual for me.

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I can also confirm that the wandering is linked to me trying to make the 2 minutes.  This started when I finally broke down and got an electric toothbrush, with timed pulses.  

The times I DON'T wander tend to be the times I'm impatient rather than restless and don't do the full 2 minutes.

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2 hours ago, meep.meep said:

People on TV who are brushing their teeth wander about the house!  I don't know anyone in real life who does not stay hunched over the bathroom sink, unless they are pushed away by a more aggressive member of the family.  TV people go from the bathroom to the bedroom to the living room - all with the brush between their teeth!

I do that.

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1 hour ago, janie jones said:

I'll brush and leave the bathroom if I'm in a hurry and need to multitask, but you guys who do it regularly must be considerably tidier brushers than I am.

Honestly, I end up needing to change shirts almost as often as not. 

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I tried wandering while brushing because I did see it so often on TV.   But it's not like I can do anything while brushing, so I don't get it.  And since I have an electric toothbrush, it's not like I can easily watch the TV or listen to a podcast or something.  Plus it's only 2 minutes, so if I did want to turn up the volume to 11 to do so, it's not like I'd see much.  Lastly, as noted above, it can get messy.  Sometimes you need to spit mid brush and then you're back in the bathroom anyway.

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1 hour ago, aquarian1 said:

And since I have an electric toothbrush, it's not like I can easily watch the TV or listen to a podcast or something. 

So I should clarify, when I use my electric toothbrush, I stay in the bathroom. I only use that every once in a while, though.

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On 10/15/2020 at 2:49 PM, smittykins said:

Even if you spend years in a coma, as soon as you wake up, you’ll immediately recognize everyone in the room and ask for a pizza.

On 10/15/2020 at 6:30 PM, auntlada said:

Except for that woman who your family thinks is your fiance but who you have never actually met.

I was thinking the exact same thing. LOL

 

 

Edited by topanga
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4 hours ago, kiddo82 said:

I just don't answer the phone unless I know who it is...and even then it's negotiable.  If the call is for real they'll leave a message.  

This is me. If I don't know you, I'm not answering. And if you are legit, you'll leave a voicemail. Sometimes if you're not legit, you'll still leave a prerecorded spiel about my nonexistent car loan, but I can ignore you. 

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6 hours ago, kiddo82 said:

I just don't answer the phone unless I know who it is...and even then it's negotiable.  If the call is for real they'll leave a message.  

Not only do I not answer, I block the caller so I never hear from that number again.

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On 11/5/2020 at 7:12 AM, Blergh said:

No one on TV EVER gets junk phone calls when at work, driving or when they are having to do something else very important that requires their undivided attention. I envy them!

With the exception of a 5 second viral video people on TV only use their phones as a phone. Since they are not broadcasting background music or listening to podcast they are not even interrupted during normal non eventful times.

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9 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

They just call from another number. I've blocked 100s. I'll answer if I'm in the mood to mess around. "We're here to help with student loan debt! How much are you paying!" 

"Zero bitches." Cluh-ick. 

My Dad does the same thing.  He'll answer when he's in the mood to fight.

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11 hours ago, kiddo82 said:

My Dad does the same thing.  He'll answer when he's in the mood to fight.

My dad will sometimes string them along.  I actually think that's kind of mean.  Nobody's dream job is telemarketing.

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I'm sure this has been mentioned before but I'm noticing it a lot more lately with the run of Christmas movies - but the way people order coffee (or hot chocolate of course in the Xmas movies) and then NEVER drink them.  Food is the same.  Full plates of food just left on the table.  I get that they don't want people eating but why have them in restaurants with the food delivered to the table and they immediately leap up , rush out and get on with their busy life?  So annoying!

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10 minutes ago, WinnieWinkle said:

I'm sure this has been mentioned before but I'm noticing it a lot more lately with the run of Christmas movies - but the way people order coffee (or hot chocolate of course in the Xmas movies) and then NEVER drink them.  Food is the same.  Full plates of food just left on the table.  I get that they don't want people eating but why have them in restaurants with the food delivered to the table and they immediately leap up , rush out and get on with their busy life?  So annoying!

I know that the actual reason is that IF performers are seen taking nibbles/sips during a   shot, they are obligated to repeat this for every, single shot during a meal scene and more than one newbie learned this lesson via  getting WAY too full the hard way. 

 

However, I agree that in a world of starving elderly &children and food deserts, to see folks waste good food like it's nothing is rather appalling. Surely nowadays they could have performers sip and nibble air then have food and drink CGI'ed for the completed productions! 

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1 hour ago, Blergh said:

I know that the actual reason is that IF performers are seen taking nibbles/sips during a   shot, they are obligated to repeat this for every, single shot during a meal scene and more than one newbie learned this lesson via  getting WAY too full the hard way. 

Keira Knightley learned this on the set of the first Pirates of the Caribbean film. On the DVD commentary, she said how the crew told her to spit out the food between takes, but she wanted to seem cool and kept swallowing it and said that the food got really cold and greasy which was completely disgusting.

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58 minutes ago, Popples said:

Keira Knightley learned this on the set of the first Pirates of the Caribbean film. On the DVD commentary, she said how the crew told her to spit out the food between takes, but she wanted to seem cool and kept swallowing it and said that the food got really cold and greasy which was completely disgusting.

Peter Dinklage and Lena Headey also joked about this on Game of Thrones episode commentaries about how characters would act progressively more sloshed without ever taking an actual sip. They both said the juice used for wine was super sweet and acted as a laxative, so if you drank it and then had to keep drinking it for each take, you'd end up with a sugar overload and the shits. So, both of them learned very quickly to just not drink it as much as possible. 

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