S06.E15: Nothing Here For Me

[OnceSane]

Quote

Jax blindsides Brittany with the news he is considering moving to Florida for a job; Sandoval and Schwartz impress Lisa by creating innovative cocktails for TomTom; Stassi and Lala take Jax to task for always putting his needs above Brittany's.

[ivygirl]

Why do I feel like Kelsey is super shady? I don’t need black tourmaline to feel that way.

It could also be the LVP sangria talking

[Fiero425]

Scheana just can't help herself! She's going to run this guy off! IDK why Rob hasn't straightened her out concerning their future or lack thereof? She keeps talking about her divorce being final and the next time she marries will be with him! She's too old to be acting like this! ;-(

Edited March 20, 2018 by Fiero425

[eggsnbacon]

7 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

Why do I feel like Kelsey is super shady? I don’t need black tourmaline to feel that way.

It could also be the LVP sangria talking

Her job title alone is super shady. Pulling out whatever she was pulling out midair? Give me a break. No better than fake psychics. 

[Steph J]

Oh Scheana. I'm so embarrassed for you that you don't know how embarrassed you should be for yourself.

[ivygirl]

YAY FI forehead shaving! And flat ironing!

Still a jerk for last week.

But YAY the return of the manscaping.

ETA Brittany, LET JAX GO. 

Edited March 20, 2018 by ivygirl

[rho]

The return of Classic Tom! Flat ironing and forehead shaving all in the same episode. Whata throwback!

[ivygirl]

This Adam dude can’t be any worse of a bartender than Jax. 

LOL Even LVP says so!

[rho]

"If Scheana did a crossword puzzle, every answer would be Rob." 

I've missed snappy Stassi. And omg Scheana is scarily obsessed!!

[ivygirl]

Jax and this social media job. Can Jax even write? I don’t mean “is he literate” (...) but is he clever? Interesting? Timely? 

[biakbiak]

2 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

I don’t mean “is he literate” 

I do wonder that.

[eggsnbacon]

Stassi calling it, Jax is probably exaggerating the job offer.

[dosodog]

Brittany.  You don't need Jax to stay on this show.  As much as I don't want to be on Team Schaena.  And I'm struggling with this.

Go out on a date with Adam.

Rob.  Stop being reasonable about staying out of Brittany's relationship. 

I think I just saw the moment Rob realized he needs to get OUT.  It was right after, "wow".  The twitch of his lips.  That was a tell if I ever saw one.

May I have Peter for my travel buddy?  Please?  Shotgun?

LOL at Stassi and Kristen in the room, rubbing on the beds.

Katie..don't be cursing your good vibe, by talking about the good vibe.  Sandavol is always lurking in the background. 

I'm still pissed off at Sandavol. I shouldn't have rewatched.   Side eye squint AND a lip curl WITH wrinkled nose (like I smelled a fart).

Ewww.  Peter.  I am a much better travel buddy than James.  He's going to puke.  Sometime on this vacation.  In Mexico.  With tequila.  He's going to puke.

Be a man and break up with her Jax.  Go to Florida and begone from my tv screen.

Who's in favor of dumping Jax for Adam?  We know nothing about him, but I say.  Our loss is Tampa's loss.

What have we got to lose, but Jax. Hey!  He makes drinks like Jax!  Oooo!  He gives Scwartz a run for the money on LVP awestruckness. 

Stassi.  Completely channeled my Rob thoughts.  We were one person for 30 seconds.  5 Down- Who can hang a tv in 7 seconds. 14 Across-Who has a penis Schaena really, really likes.  

NO.  Changed my mind on being Team Schaena if Ariana is on board.  God help me.....Team James.  He's right.  Y'all?  A part of my soul just let out a cry of pain and died. Brittany has to have her come to Adam moment on her own.  

[rho]

I cosign what Stassi said about never understanding what Sandoval is talking about? it's like he has the critical thinking skills of a toddler. Tom makes a mean drink but conversation is NOT his forte

[b2H]

I call BS on the FL job. Other than that, next week looks......interesting???

[Wicked]

Jax is a horrible horrible person.  It makes me sad to know that Brittany is still with him.

[ihartcoffee]

Run Brittany!  wtf is wrong with you girl?  Jax is a selfish POS. That 'therapy' is bullshit. 

The flat iron made appearance!  He only goes digital you know. 

[sadiebyuca]

5 minutes ago, rho said:

I cosign what Stassi said about never understanding what Sandoval is talking about? it's like he has the critical thinking skills of a toddler. Tom makes a mean drink but conversation is NOT his forte

I literally can NOT understand his train of thought.  It doesn't make sense!  
I mean, I get that he loves Jax (who slept with his girlfriend while he slept in the other room).  

But what?!?!

[Steph J]

3 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Be a man and break up with her Jax.  Go to Florida and begone from my tv screen.

I almost feel like this is a trick. Like, Jax is going to get Brittany to go to Florida with him then break up with her/abandon her there so that he can come back to LA without her, having extricated her from his friend group and work situation so that things can go back to "normal" for him and he can take up with his reiki therapist in peace.

But that's probably too complex a plot for Jax.

[Duke2801]

“I’m a manscaping chameleon.”

Never change, Sandoval! ❤️

[sadiebyuca]

3 minutes ago, ihartcoffee said:

Run Brittany!  wtf is wrong with you girl?  Jax is a selfish POS. That 'therapy' is bullshit. 

The flat iron made appearance!  He only goes digital you know. 

It's just crazy at this point.  Why is she with him?  He's sooooo over her.  I just don't get it.  I'm so confused.  

If my husband said his time with another woman was the high point of his week, I would cut off his high point while he slept. LOL  J/K  

[Petunia13]

This divorce resale site Sheana and Rob are involved with why even bother when there's depop, I do I don't, eBay, and Fashionphile ect ect?

 

Ordinary stranger: hi 

sheana: Rob loves me.

now wary stranger: that's fine.....

sheana: you know what's better than fine, my BF Rob who's great at everything and he LOVES me (smiling hard through clenched teeth) 

[ghoulina]

I know the girls can be a bit much,  I'm kind of living for the fact that this is ostensibly JAX's birthday trip and everyone is screaming at him and calling him out. 

What is this hockey business anyhow? Brittany said she'd never heard him mention it; I don't think I have either. But now he's ready to move across the country. And Brittany is supposed to just follow along, like a little puppy. He got more concerned talking to the Toms about it than her!

And his obsession with the Reiki chick is just getting out of control. He tells his own girlfriend that seeing some other woman is "the highlight of my week". That's some BS right there. And she just enables his narcissism. "You need to take care of yourself. You never do anything for yourself." No wonder he won't go to a real therapist. 

 

Scheana is so deluded. She thinks that dumbass Divorce Closet is going to create a future for her and Rob? Never mind the fact that it's a completely pointless, redundant idea. But this is a guy who can only say "wow" when you claim your next marriage will be to him. Their breakup is gonna be so delicious. 

[dosodog]

Sandavol is a self absorbed bitch.  He dismisses the women on this show all the time. 

He acts like the authority on everything. 

Bleh.

I'm having difficulty liking posts tonight.  You make great points.  And then you mention manscaping and flat irons.  So bear in mind, my hearts do not have anything to do with him.

[Fiero425]

1 minute ago, Steph J said:

I almost feel like this is a trick. Like, Jax is going to get Brittany to go to Florida with him then break up with her/abandon her there so that he can come back to LA without her, having extricated her from his friend group and work situation so that things can go back to "normal" for him and he can take up with his reiki therapist in peace.

But that's probably too complex a plot for Jax.

It happens! I had a friend who moved from Calif. to NY with his BF and within a year they were done! Idiots! I can definitely see Jax pulling that; coming home without Brittany! ;-)

[sadiebyuca]

Just now, ghoulina said:

And his obsession with the Reiki chick is just getting out of control. He tells his own girlfriend that seeing some other woman is "the highlight of my week". That's some BS right there. And she just enables his narcissism. "You need to take care of yourself. You never do anything for yourself." No wonder he won't go to a real therapist. 

It's sooooo wrong.  Sooooo wrong. I am still in shock over that and it was the first part of the show.  Is she high that often that she really doesn't get basic stuff?  He's horrid and cruel.  Saying that was cruel.  

 

13 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Stassi.  Completely channeled my Rob thoughts.  We were one person for 30 seconds.  5 Down- Who can hang a tv in 7 seconds. 14 Across-Who has a penis Schaena really, really likes.  

LOL  HA HA HA  Oh my gosh.  I love this.  We should make one and send it to her.  Or call into WWHL and ask her. 

3 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Sandavol is a self absorbed bitch.  He dismisses the women on this show all the time. 

He acts like the authority on everything. 

Bleh.

I'm having difficulty liking posts tonight.  You make great points.  And then you mention manscaping and flat irons.  So bear in mind, my hearts do not have anything to do with him.

I'd be more than happy if he and Ariana left for good, but they never will. 

[ghoulina]

25 minutes ago, rho said:

"If Scheana did a crossword puzzle, every answer would be Rob." 

I've missed snappy Stassi. And omg Scheana is scarily obsessed!!

Stassi was on fire tonight! Emotional terrorist and Game of Thrones soundtrack. I can never 100% hate her, because her THs give me life. 

 

7 minutes ago, Steph J said:

I almost feel like this is a trick. Like, Jax is going to get Brittany to go to Florida with him then break up with her/abandon her there so that he can come back to LA without her, having extricated her from his friend group and work situation so that things can go back to "normal" for him and he can take up with his reiki therapist in peace.

But that's probably too complex a plot for Jax.

Ooooh, no. I could totally see him doing that. Jax is pretty much a moron when it comes to daily life. But he's pretty adept at manipulation. 

[rho]

6 minutes ago, Steph J said:

I almost feel like this is a trick. Like, Jax is going to get Brittany to go to Florida with him then break up with her/abandon her there so that he can come back to LA without her, having extricated her from his friend group and work situation so that things can go back to "normal" for him and he can take up with his reiki therapist in peace.

But that's probably too complex a plot for Jax.

So sinister but I find it very doubtful Jax could plot something so complex. Lucky for us, Kristen doesn't have a job which leaves plenty of time to brainstorm ways to make Jax miserable. If he did pull a move like that on Brittany, you know Kristen would personally fly her out and put her up in the guest room so they could torture Jax together until the end of time.

4 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I know the girls can be a bit much,  I'm kind of living for the fact that this is ostensibly JAX's birthday trip and everyone is screaming at him and calling him out. 

The coven finally using their powers for good. They're not flawless but I appreciate this brand of feminism more than Lala's pussy power nonsense.

[JenE4]

Sandoval has the best ironing skills, but only the third hottest pepper spice according to Guinness Book of World Records. But no doubt he built this drink around the Scorpion sting name because he is extra...and also a master mixologist, or mastermixermactor. He also has a digital flat iron—whatever that means—but of course ol’ flat-iron Tom has the most innovative flat iron known to man.

Jason is having a mid-life crisis, but somehow even though this episode has him gushing over Kelsey (I think is the reiki therapist’s name?) more than ever, and TO his girlfriend—kicking her out of their apartment and talking about how amazing Kelsey makes him feel WHILE Brittany is swimming topless with him in this incredible suite she brought him to—I actually think Kelsey is the first woman he’s not just trying to sleep with. Jax says he’s been working out three times a day, and I believe it—he looks better than he has in years. This “job offer” seems a bit suspect, and I assume this “career in hockey” is working with a Tampa ice-skating rink or some local children’s hockey league. I don’t think I’d put someone who doesn’t know the meanings of commonly used words in charge of social media—but that hasn’t slowed down our Tweeter in Chief—and a real company isn’t going to make someone with no education or experience “head of marketing”—but, again, see POTUS. But it would probably be the best thing for Jax to get the hell out of Hollywood and get a nice, boring, stable job. He’s been self-loathing for as long as he’s been on our TVs, and if he’s finally recognizing what he needs to do to make himself a better person and feel good about himself, then Godspeed, Jason. 

[rho]

1 minute ago, JenE4 said:

Sandoval has the best ironing skills, but only the third hottest pepper spice according to Guinness Book of World Records. But no doubt he built this drink around the Scorpion sting name because he is extra...and also a master mixologist, or mastermixermactor. He also has a digital flat iron—whatever that means—but of course ol’ flat-iron Tom has the most innovative flat iron known to man.

He's not a masterdebater, that's for sure! The guy sounds like he's gargling ball sacks every time he spews some nonsense argument

[WhosThatGirl]

I know Stassi has many times when she bugs.. I kind of loved her tonight.

[Fiero425]

Just now, WhosThatGirl said:

I know Stassi has many times when she bugs.. I kind of loved her tonight.

Give her time, she'll disappoint again; probably while drunk! Stassi and Tequila Katie are usually in rare form under the influence! ;-)

[ivygirl]

12 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Sandoval has the best ironing skills, but only the third hottest pepper spice according to Guinness Book of World Records. But no doubt he built this drink around the Scorpion sting name because he is extra...and also a master mixologist, or mastermixermactor. He also has a digital flat iron—whatever that means—but of course ol’ flat-iron Tom has the most innovative flat iron known to man.

 

10 minutes ago, rho said:

He's not a masterdebater, that's for sure! The guy sounds like he's gargling ball sacks every time he spews some nonsense argument

He’s Mixmactor S! 

[Wicked]

Let's be real. Jax will never leave the Pump Rules cameras for a hockey job in Florida 

[Sun-Bun]

21 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

I know Stassi has many times when she bugs.. I kind of loved her tonight.

Ditto. And even though she's a raging, smug bitch who typically gets on my last nerve, I can't hate her either because she can be fairly witty and astute with her snarky talking heads. She's kinda like a younger and saner Ramona Singer for me...with much better style!

Oh Scheana....she's just beyond awkward with her painfully creepy Rob-session. And after watching the second season over again on the marathon today, I'd forgotten how much prettier and fresher she once was, before she morphed into this alien bobblehead divorcée with desperate mutant claws to sink into unsuspecting meatheads.

[biakbiak]

17 minutes ago, Wicked said:

Let's be real. Jax will never leave the Pump Rules cameras for a hockey job in Florida 

Not that I believe the job exists but Jax could never leave the Tom's.

[goofygirl]

I really think Britttany should take Jax up on the Tampa move.  She's already admitted they don't use birth control and this may be the closest she's gonna get to having Jax's baby AND being closer to Mommy, Daddy & Mammaw. I say GO FOR IT! And get your dumbass and Jax's stupid ass off the teevee and into the real world.

So happy the flat  iron made it's comeback.

And Scheana?  Seriously girl, you should be embarrassed.  Maybe YOU should go on a date with Adam! That Beverly Hills life you want so badly is slip sliding away. FAST.

[Batwings]

Scheana, please STAAAAHHHHHPPPP trying to make you & Rob happen, it’s not going to happen. Her lips remind me of gummy worms. 

Brittany’s facial expressions with Jax after his “therapy” gave me life. The yeah right, eye-rolling, mixed with disbelief, sprinkled with a hint of jealous rage. 

Sandoval packing his checkered speedo. Hee!

The way Jax looks at and talks to Brittany, woooooooo! That boy would be floating face down in a body of water. He couldn’t give 2 shits about her feelings. Brittany is a sweet girl. She is like a circus animal, her spirit is slowly & constantly being beat out of her. 

[Thumper]

Lisa's riding hat/sun hat.   LOLOL  ???

[itsadryheat]

Jax is pathetic-but so is Brittney and Sheana.

Congratulations Shay . . . You Are Divorced! Better luck next time!!!

[Thumper]

Sooooo ... now hockey is Jax's life?????  

I can understand him thinking this is a chance for him to start over (or it is just a story line, heh), but don't guilt Brittany into following you.  Free Brittany!

[Rosiejuliemom]

3 hours ago, rho said:

The return of Classic Tom! Flat ironing and forehead shaving all in the same episode. Whata throwback!

I wanted Kristen to walk into the bathroom so that the two of them could argue about who had the better hairspray and concealer. 

Katie also brought up Jax's sweater line in a TH.

So many throwbacks to the VPR of yore.

Edited March 20, 2018 by Rosiejuliemom
Autocorrect is bad.

[ivygirl]

42 minutes ago, Thumper said:

Lisa's riding hat/sun hat.   LOLOL  ???

Which was shadier: the visor, or the side-eye LVP was throwing Brittany as she described all the great things she was doing for Jax? LOL

[rho]

9 minutes ago, Rosiejuliemom said:

I wanted Kristen to walk into the bathroom so that the two of them could argue about who had the better hairspray and concealer. 

Too true!!! Such a missed opportunity!!!! 

[itsadryheat]

Unless it's a kids hockey league, I call BS on some guy calling Jax with a legit Hockey League "opportunity".

An "opportunity" in any major league sports is very competitive, at all levels. 

"Yeah, let's call the no degree bartender, who hasn't lived here in years and has no experience in the industry and give him a job-no interview needed."

[RHJunkie]

Jax, don't tell your girlfriend that seeing another woman (in any capacity) is the highlight of your weeks...you fucking moron. Having pictures as proof that you played hockey as a kid doesn't all of a sudden mean that you can play off anything associated to hockey as a dream job. My reaction was much similar to Katie's...who even knows if it was a legit offer to consider. If it were really his dream job, he could have easily spent a fraction of his time researching and writing hockey articles instead of partying and publishing those articles to notable sports/hockey sites which would have helped him to develop his credentials and expand his resume. He could have used social media to do live commentary of the playoffs, Stanley Cup finals or follow the LA Kings. He could have set himself up to have opportunities right within California. There are 3 NHL teams in California, a few more in the AHL and several minor leagues. If his ass wasn't so lazy, he could have likely found opportunities more local which wouldn't require to uproot his life and selfishly expect his girlfriend to follow him yet again by emotionally manipulating her because she isn't yet sold on the idea and wants to discuss it more. 

Also, the idea that anyone could listen to Jax and give him advice that suggests that he doesn't do anything for himself and he's always looking to please others and needs to change that, is insane. Either Kelsey's bullshit metre is broken, or her advice is based on the fact that she's running high on spewing bullshit because there's no way that any kind of therapist would advice a narcissistic and selfish person to be more selfish. 

I don't how much more of this second hand embarrassment I can suffer through watching Scheana on my screen. 

No shit Brittany it's been a while on a horse. If you put an adult on one of her horses may just be animal cruelty. 

[WhosThatGirl]

I feel like the editors are really giving me everything this season. The flashbacks almost every season from the golden years(also love that every Monday they rerun Puno from the golden years and it’s epic!!), the awesome fights that Janes and Lala have that include yelling about Pasta and fidget spinners, Schena planning another wedding while the guy she’s planning to is clearly looking for an exit strategy, Stassi slowly getting sassy one liners, Kristen being sort of crazy by using her frequent flyer miles to fly in surprise guests, it’s a good season.

The only thing they failed me on was last weeks episode.

[HunterHunted]

Every time Scheana talks to Rob about marriage, he looks more and more like the guy from 127 Hours just trying to find a way to amputate a limb and extricate himself from being trapped between a figurative rock and a hard place.

I really think Jax is trying his damnedest to get Brittany to break up with him, but she isn't taking the bait.

[Marley]

Scheana and Rob’s divorce closet thing is the stupidest idea ever. There’s already so many places where you can sell stuff online. Also it seems like it’s just setting up future lawsuits or something.

I can’t with Jax and his therapist. Saying he needs to do more stuff for himself is such a laugh. That’s his whole life. He needs to be in real therapy like Lisa said. The Florida job does sound like a lie and maybe a trick like someone else said. It seems like Brittany is friends with like most of them so she could easily ditch Jax and stay on the show.

Im still not liking Sandoval from last weeks episode so none of his antics that I would usually enjoy are making me laugh. Ariana is just the worst still too.

I was surprisingly kind of liking James this episode.

[Fiero425]

1 minute ago, HunterHunted said:

Every time Scheana talks to Rob about marriage, he looks more and more like the guy from 127 Hours just trying to find a way to amputate a limb and extricate himself from being trapped between a figurative rock and a hard place.

I really think Jax is trying his damnedest to get Brittany to break up with him, but she isn't taking the bait.

IDK why Rob's being gutless saying what's what with the guys on their weekend at "Big Bear!" With her, looks like he's only trying to save himself the  hysteria when setting her straight! Reunion taped so as of WWHL tonight with Stassi, Brittany's still Jax's personal punching bag! ;-(