S05.E05: Buddy's Big Secret

[AUJulia]

3 hours ago, Kickboxer said:

So conflicted about this episode! Some of the editing was hilariously mean, Babs, "I have a pig." editors, - shot of Whitney entering the room. Ha! Then it got boring for a while, but the gym scene: Glenn is a hoot, I do not even care if the whole thing was scripted, he looked like he was having fun with that whistle and the tape, then trying to remember the last time Whitney did anything remotely athletic that didn't end up with paramedics involved.  Whitney, you are no Rocky. 

Also found the Blessing Ceremony fun to watch, from the friend snark on the way, and during, the blonde MIL's (stepmom, idk) facial expressions every time Whitney spoke were all of us. That dance was hilarious too, I watched it twice as I missed the 'doggy-style' beginning mentioned here. That is the most enjoyable dance I've seen Whitney do so far. She and Todd do play well against each other but that may be because Todd is so in on the joke that is Whitney's dancing. Bab's interpretation of round egg and sperm was right on.

However, the storyline about Buddy shouldn't be televised in my opinion. He hasn't been shown, unlike the people on Intervention, and it is invasive. I suspect that its there due to some horrible clause in the contract. It makes me uncomfortable to think that someone could be dealing with serious issues for all the world to know about (that normally HIPPA would protect am I wrong?) with their 'sort-of' consent from a reality show contract.

HIPAA restricts healthcare providers,  but does nothing to protect against blabby friends and family. 

[AUJulia]

1 hour ago, spacefly said:

My experience is my husband who was a bartender back in the day. When I met him he was 180lbs and doing coke and also drinking way more than any human should. He put on 100lbs all while doing Coke (he was always for the high and never the down). Fast food packed on the lbs. I kind of knew but we weren't living together at the time so he hid it well. He slept all day but he was a bartender which also gave him easy access to Coke. It is everywhere in the bar business, he bought it with tips and friends shared it. If Buddy isn't paying rent and he is probably easily making a $100/night in tips, that will get him a gram. I think his addiction is believable at least from my experience. My husband is clean and sober 13 years now.

I was talking about heroin, which makes a brain stem choose to use rather than eat. 

[LocalGovt]

15 hours ago, mamey2422 said:

It sounds like Buddy’s family gave him an intervention, in which case I don’t understand his room being clean/empty as usually interventions make you go to rehab right then and there. 

I’m surprised Heather had no clue of any drug problems. 

I don’t know much about coke other than Buddy has not demonstrated behavior of someone using it. I wonder if “coke” is the term his family and friends associate with drugs and use it as a default. 

Buddy looks EXACTLY like his mom. 

I was thinking maybe his mom went in there and cleaned it up for him. If Whitney is never home, she'd never know the difference if his mom was there.

[AUJulia]

18 minutes ago, John M said:

Ashley got pregnant on her 3rd date and admitted to it on national TV which makes her either a grossly irresponsible idiot or an actual crazy person that was trying to get pregnant so I am going to say Ashley has legitimate reasons to believe she is horribly ill equipped to raise a child.

I think she was a slob to get pregnant BUT she also said she thought she wasn't able to conceive. 

[John M]

14 minutes ago, Ravenna said:

 

Condoms, birth control, IUD, Plan B, a 30+ year old women should not be getting pregnant on the 3rd date unless she is trying to get pregnant or dumb as a brick.

[ClareWalks]

3 minutes ago, AUJulia said:

I think she was a slob to get pregnant BUT she also said she thought she wasn't able to conceive. 

I hate it when people say that, then get all shocked and surprised that they were wrong! I actually KNOW that I basically can't get pregnant without medical intervention, because I didn't (it took 7 IUIs and multiple medications), and I would still never have sex without protection and/or birth control. I have seen several episodes of Maury where some dumbass dude was like "I can't be the baby daddy, I was born with only one ball so I'm probably sterile" *eye roll*

Edited January 31, 2018 by ClareWalks

[AUJulia]

Just now, ClareWalks said:

I hate it when people say that, then get all shocked and surprised that they were wrong! I actually KNOW that I basically can't get pregnant without medical intervention, because I didn't, and I would still never have sex without protection and/or birth control. I have seen several episodes of Maury where some dumbass dude was like "I can't be the baby daddy, I was born with only one ball so I'm probably sterile" *eye roll*

Exactly. I'm just saying she was a different kind of stupid. 

[John M]

2 minutes ago, AUJulia said:

I think she was a slob to get pregnant BUT she also said she thought she wasn't able to conceive. 

Did she also think she was too fat to get an STI? I doesn't matter what she did or didn't think, she got knocked up on the 3rd date.

[ClareWalks]

1 minute ago, AUJulia said:

Exactly. I'm just saying she was a different kind of stupid. 

And tragically she is by far the smartest person on this show ;)

[Delete]

3 minutes ago, John M said:

Condoms, birth control, IUD, Plan B, a 30+ year old women should not be getting pregnant on the 3rd date unless she is trying to get pregnant or dumb as a brick.

It was my attempt at humour, John. Apparently, you're not a Golden Girl fan.  :-)

[AUJulia]

1 minute ago, John M said:

Did she also think she was too fat to get an STI? I doesn't matter what she did or didn't think, she got knocked up on the 3rd date.

Hey, I'm not arguing that she had an excuse, just pointing out that she had a dumb explanation. 

[John M]

5 minutes ago, Ravenna said:

It was my attempt at humour, John. Apparently, you're not a Golden Girl fan.  :-)

Oh, I know, it's just condoms obviously because you should not be having unprotected sex on the 3rd date but if you are promiscuous enough to be having sex on the 3rd date (No judgement, I don't even know the names of dozens of men I have slept with) you should be on some secondary birth control as well and baring all of that say to yourself, huh, that was pretty fucking stupid of me to let that guy bareback me on the 3rd date, I should probably take some Plan B and stop by the free clinic.

Edited January 31, 2018 by John M

[alabetser]

Sometimes that 0.01% chance happens even with proper birth control, but not using any at all (especially with a near stranger!) is super, super dumb. Pregnancy or STDs (and there are some terrible ones) are a real risk. By your 30s it's way beyond a stage you could try and claim naivety. 

[the-grey-lady]

The two halves of this episode were jarring.

First we're in a woo-woo birthday ceremony, complete with the world's cringiest interpretive dance, and then we're finding out that Buddy is addicted to cocaine. That felt like two different shows.

I think this episode blew the "Buddy and Whitney are bestest friends!" narrative right out of the water. Not only did Whitney had no idea that Buddy had a drug problem (which isn't outside of the realm of possibilities), but his parents packed up his room and carted his ass off to rehab without a. telling her, even though she's his landlord, and b. her noticing that he'd been gone for a substantial amount of time. I have to think that a really close friend would've noticed SOMETHING, even if they weren't sure what it meant.

Remember last season when Whit was prattling on about how she wanted Buddy to "love his body," and Buddy looked like he was about to suffer cardiac failure? Surely she thought something was off even then.

[3girlsforus]

1 hour ago, TurtlePower said:

I was admittedly surprised when they said it was cocaine because he appeared to have gained weight. I was thinking he was a doper who smoked weed and drank too much. Thanks for the clarification and congrats to your husband for his sobriety. 

I hope Buddy's sobriety and health rubs off on Whitney, it can't be good for Buddy to be friends with someone who still partakes in addictive behaviors. 

I actually hope it doesn’t rub off on Whitney unless it can rub from a distance. I don’t think it smart for Buddy to be anywhere near Whitney. She will push hm right off the wagon. 

[lightninggirl]

18 hours ago, John M said:

Buddy does not have enough money to have a serious coke addiction. 

If Buddy works in a bar, this is possible. He also doesn't have to make a good salary to be a dealer.
(*disclaimer - I am in no way characterizing all bars/pubs/watering holes here)

Bars in my city are a convenient purchase space for coke dealers (and I'm sure a bunch else; I just happen to know about the coke at a bar near me as I know the owners). If Buddy still is a bartender, then he might be at worst serving as a hookup/middleman for distribution or at best might be turning a blind eye to dealing in his bar in exchange for some blow. If he's dealing, he just has to have connections on either end (not related to the bar at all) to develop/maintain a serious habit. But we all know that the #1 rule of dealing is that you don't do your own shit. Good job, Buddy. ?

[Brooks]

Then in addition to avoiding Whitney the Enabler, Buddy needs a new line of work.  Going back to bartending at a bar could bring him down.

Edited January 31, 2018 by Brooks

[gigiann]

For 2 "professional dancers" (Todd and Twit)  I didn't see any synchronizing in their dance steps.  They looked like 2 elementary school kids performing on parent's night.   How they call themselves professional is beyond me.

[ClareWalks]

3 minutes ago, gigiann said:

For 2 "professional dancers" (Todd and Twit)  I didn't see any synchronizing in their dance steps.  They looked like 2 elementary school kids performing on parent's night.   How they call themselves professional is beyond me.

It is weird that their "choreography" is always just them dancing the exact same steps next to each other, rather than dancing WITH each other in any actual way.

[Ketzel]

1 hour ago, LocalGovt said:

I was thinking maybe his mom went in there and cleaned it up for him. If Whitney is never home, she'd never know the difference if his mom was there.

It did look "mom" clean. His parents could have promised him they'd get his stuff to him after they dropped him off, and taken his house key.  But it's much more likely both Whitney and Heather were well aware of what had happened to Buddy and the entire "Whitney is flabbergasted to find Buddy gone to rehab" storyline was just another staged set of events in Whitneyworld.

[Brooks]

But Ashley didn't say birth control failed.  She said it happened on their third date, and to me in a way that implied there was no birth control. 

[lightninggirl]

17 hours ago, kicotan said:

that's gotta be some shitty coke...or maybe it's something along the lines of an opiod instead?

I was thinking the same thing. He looked and sounded more like he was drinking and using Xanax (or a Xanax/muscle relaxant combo) than being on coke. In my experience around people who've done all four/a combo of the four and opioids, Buddy really seems like he's on an opioid or Xanax combined with booze.

[Dot]

6 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

I'm glad the farce of Twit and Tal are in a fight because he stole her dance class is over. That was totally scripted and all the actors and actresses had to comment on it 10 times every episde. She got back from Indiant and was too lazy to teach her own class again and she was fine with Tal doing it for awhile, so she told Tal to keep teaching until she was settled back in. The script writers decided to turn this into a fake conflict because they have no good ideas. All parties agreed to pretend Twit was mad because she could not get her class back. Tal pretended he wasn't going to give it back. The students pretended they were caught in the middle. It was all so fucking STUPID.

Todd is Twit's "eternal dance partner," not Tal. Todd is the one with hair & a sometimes beard or scruff. Tal is the skinny, bald one.

[Ocean Chick]

1 hour ago, AUJulia said:

I think she was a slob to get pregnant BUT she also said she thought she wasn't able to conceive. 

It’s one thing to believe you can’t concieve. But had the woman never heard of STDs?  On the third date you really don’t know the guy well enough to blindly believe him when he says he’s clean. Condoms!!!!

[preciousperfect]

1 hour ago, AUJulia said:

I think she was a slob to get pregnant BUT she also said she thought she wasn't able to conceive. 

I know of several children who came from parents who were told by doctors that they could never ever get pregnant naturally. I would never take the chance!!

2 hours ago, John M said:

Ashley got pregnant on her 3rd date and admitted to it on national TV which makes her either a grossly irresponsible idiot or an actual crazy person that was trying to get pregnant so I am going to say Ashley has legitimate reasons to believe she is horribly ill equipped to raise a child.

Also the situation with the father seems questionable. I get that maybe he doesn't want to be on the show but she sure doesn't talk like he is really involved. 

[Kickboxer]

18 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

It is weird that their "choreography" is always just them dancing the exact same steps next to each other, rather than dancing WITH each other in any actual way.

Maybe that is the easiest way to learn, while looking in the mirror.

[ClareWalks]

5 minutes ago, Kickboxer said:

Maybe that is the easiest way to learn, while looking in the mirror.

These two claim to have "dance careers," they shouldn't have to do beginning-Zumba shit.

[Stripper Glitter]

38 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

It is weird that their "choreography" is always just them dancing the exact same steps next to each other, rather than dancing WITH each other in any actual way.

Right? Here's actual dancing:

[Brooks]

To Lightninggirl...Agree TLC can edit, but we get to comment on what is presented, which obviously may have little to do with real life.  The edits suggest Ashley didn't worry about birth control because she didn't think she could get pregnant, in other words that she took that risk.  The edits also show she is taking responsibility for it and trying to be a good mom. 

[bichonblitz]

Buddy had a job and could afford to buy drugs because Buddy was not paying rent.  As much as Whitney sucks, Buddy was not a good friend. Remember when she tried to get him to sign a rental contract and he was so offended? I'm not sure if he ever did sign it. Why she let him live there when he owed her rent money is beyond me.  That would break a friendship in my book. I wonder if she ever cared enough to ask him where his money was going. Whitney is so self involved she doesn't even see what's going on in front of her face. 

[princelina]

6 hours ago, Brooks said:

Buddy does look great in that picture!  The scenes with his parents, brother, friend could all be re-enactments based on Buddy wanting to share a story about getting clean.  I hope that's what happened.

 

2 hours ago, Ketzel said:

It did look "mom" clean. His parents could have promised him they'd get his stuff to him after they dropped him off, and taken his house key.  But it's much more likely both Whitney and Heather were well aware of what had happened to Buddy and the entire "Whitney is flabbergasted to find Buddy gone to rehab" storyline was just another staged set of events in Whitneyworld.

That's what I think - he took himself off to rehab at some point during filming, and then they turned it into a multi-episode-"Where's Buddy?"-storyline,

[AUJulia]

9 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

I’m curious what kind of agreement someone like Buddy has with TLC. Assuming his family sent Buddy off to rehab, did Buddy’s agreement automatically allow them to tell the world about his problem and his rehab? Would they have been required to check with the rehab place and see if sharing this with the world was the best choice for Buddy?

I snark in the RHOBH forums, where someone posted the contract Bravo makes participants sign. I suspect TLC has a similar one, and if so, it's super intrusive. 

[the-grey-lady]

2 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

It is weird that their "choreography" is always just them dancing the exact same steps next to each other, rather than dancing WITH each other in any actual way.

I think calling those moves "dancing" is a generous assessment. 

[calpurnia99]

You can be a coke addict and gain weight. You lose your appetite while ON the coke, but once you come down you can easily eat double the amount you would have had you not gone all those coked-out hours with no food. And it is very easy to feel like shit when you come down and overeat to try to make yourself feel better. 

[AUJulia]

4 minutes ago, calpurnia99 said:

You can be a coke addict and gain weight. You lose your appetite while ON the coke, but once you come down you can easily eat double the amount you would have had you not gone all those coked-out hours with no food. And it is very easy to feel like shit when you come down and overeat to try to make yourself feel better. 

And if using coke while drinking heavily, those calories add up. 

[Dot]

Random thoughts:
? The agony of suspense! Over 2 episodes we've wondered, "Where's Buddy?" Is he OK? Is he shacked up with a woman? Has he run away? Do his parents know? What's wrong with him? Will we ever find out? And on and on and on. Then midway thru, we are treated to a commercial break, incl. a MBFFL promo for next week showing Twit & Heather talking about receiving letters from Buddy during his rehab for cocaine. Way to step on your own plot, TLC.
? Several times Babs called those at the meeting to bless Ashley's womb "a coven." Takes one to know one, eh, Babs?
? Tal apparently has no life apart from Twit. He is on-camera almost as much as she; he is ever-present in all her SM live videos. I have opined before that I think he is overcompensating for not being in Twit's h.s. Mean Girls' clique. The eventual demise of MBFFL may hit him harder than Twit.
? Twit has a preternatural obsession about tasting newborn baby stuff -- placenta, breast milk. Here's "a modest proposal" for you, Ashley. Don't let Twit near your baby, esp. if she's carrying a knife & fork.
? Twit has an ambulance on speed-dial. Well, me too. It's called 9-1-1.
? I'm more & more on Team Todd. He may have lost his designated villian role, but he's still puttin' Twit in the shade. Loved his comment that Glenn thinks he's passing out incentives to Twit which are actually bribes. And that he used to give her an exorbitant amount of cash for good grades. That supports my random thought of the last episode that he's been bribing her all her life. Tho it's probably been easier than listening to the whining he'd have gotten without the bribes.
? Glenn sez: "If I don't push her, no one else will." That's cause ain't no one else gonna get behind her, Glenn.
? I LOL when Babs said, about the dance, that Twit must be the egg since she's round.
? When talking to Zack, Twit sez: "There's an elephant in the room." How obtuse do you have to be to say a line like that?
? Did anyone else notice that consummate actor Twit was trying out new facial expressions on Zack? Mostly contorting her mouth with occasional eye squints.
? Buddy's drug abuse problem becomes, as usual, all about Twit. No wonder Mama Bell wasn't bringing her into the info loop as long as possible.
Twit, at various times, has labeled at least 6 people as "my best friend." Given how self-absorbed she is , it's no wonder she doesn't understand the meaning of the term.
? This crapfest gets worse by the week. I am so tired of the Ashley's baby story arc. Have the damn baby or carry it for 400 years, I don't care. Just leave me out of it.
Equally tiresome by now is the where-is-Buddy story.
Now that Twit is so physically disabled by excessive weight, all the scriptwriters can do is let her talk. And talk. And talk. How fabulous for her. How tedious for the viewers.

[Irate Panda]

I’m really glad Buddy is doing well.  I hope he keeps it up and maybe stays off the show, I don’t think it’s a positive influence on him.

[Maggienolia]

21 hours ago, MrsClaus said:

From the looks on their faces, I expected them to fumble around and then say he was 5 states away and send Twit on a wild goose chase if she went looking for Buddy

They should have said Indianapolis. Just for shits and giggles. 

[Irate Panda]

4 hours ago, Ravenna said:

 

“calm down, lady!  Did you just get out of prison?”  LOL, I hearted this post before I even read it because nothing beats this gif!!

[AUJulia]

3 minutes ago, Maggienolia said:

They should have said Indianapolis. Just for shits and giggles. 

BOOM SHAKALAKA ????

[lightninggirl]

14 minutes ago, Dot said:

? Several times Babs called those at the meeting to bless Ashley's womb "a coven." Takes one to know one, eh, Babs?

? Glenn sez: "If I don't push her, no one else will." That's cause ain't no one else gonna get behind her, Glenn.

OMG I love you. ????????

I can honestly see Babs secretly being in a coven at one point, having wandered in by accident and then being too polite to leave. 

[ClareWalks]

1 minute ago, lightninggirl said:

OMG I love you. ????????

I can honestly see Babs secretly being in a coven at one point, having wandered in by accident and then being too polite to leave. 

BWAHA! That would explain the harsh hair color!

[skippy]

I got the impression that Whitney genuinely wanted information about Buddy, but only because she doesn't want to be "left out" of anything.  She was more concerned about "knowing" than about Buddy's well-being.  When Zack told her about the drug problem she immediately said she "had to" tell his parents.  It never occurred to her that they might already know!!  She seemed disappointed to learn that Buddy's friend Zack, his parents, and his brother all knew about the drug problem before she did.  Zack appeared to see right through her concerned act.  She is completely self-absorbed.

[SunnyBeBe]

Yeah, I would never have guessed cocaine.  I was thinking prescription pain pills.  Oh well, it's bad either way.  Best wishes to Buddy.  With his weight, blood pressure, cocaine......omg....that could be very tragic. Recall when he was having trouble working out?  No wonder.  

I actually liked the womb blessing dance.  It was the best I've seen from them in a while.  lol  Seriously.  Yes, I did LOL a lot, but, in the end, I think it worked.  I thought the entire scene of the womb blessing was funny.  All those with speaking parts had funny lines, imo.  

[MegD]

4 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Buddy had a job and could afford to buy drugs because Buddy was not paying rent.  As much as Whitney sucks, Buddy was not a good friend. Remember when she tried to get him to sign a rental contract and he was so offended? I'm not sure if he ever did sign it. Why she let him live there when he owed her rent money is beyond me.

I suspect that was probably just a producer driven thing. It wasn't mentioned when they were house hunting and it didn't show up until last season. I think the shock on his face when she confronted him with the rental contract was legitimate because that wasn't part of their arrangement at all. I suspect that Donna and Buddy were asked to live there to be at her beck and call. She only ever mentions rent when she's rambling and being a martyr. She can't count how many months because it's all a hoax and she can't keep the story straight. Not that I like Buddy all that much, but I do think the rent thing is just a producer story.

[princelina]

2 hours ago, Dot said:

? I'm more & more on Team Todd. He may have lost his designated villian role, but he's still puttin' Twit in the shade. Loved his comment that Glenn thinks he's passing out incentives to Twit which are actually bribes. And that he used to give her an exorbitant amount of cash for good grades. That supports my random thought of the last episode that he's been bribing her all her life. Tho it's probably been easier than listening to the whining he'd have gotten without the bribes.
 

A friend's parenting philosophy:  you pay now or you pay later.  Had he sent whiny young Whit to her room a few times, he might not be parenting an adolescent 30-something now :)

[John M]

I just don't think Buddy had a coke addiction, It's really not that addictive, you need some serious money to maintain a coke addiction especially since the high is so short and it's a social drug and he just doesn't seem to be the type to gravitate to that. I'm pretty sure Buddy's actual problem was functional alcoholism that was becoming no longer functional without the use of stimulants to counteract it, now that is common.

[DanaMB]

I was cracking up at all the shade in this ep.

 

Todd outing the huge bribes.

Todd saying Whitney needs to use the sage longer. (Was this a dig at body odor?)

Babs saying Whitney was the egg with the hand motion.

I think even Tal threw some, but I can't remember what.

And that dance was so bad I was literally laughing out loud.

 

Of course, we also had inappropriate Whitney when Babs says her dad can't come and Whitney's response that it sounds like a personal problem. 

[princelina]

8 minutes ago, DanaMB said:

I was cracking up at all the shade in this ep.

 

Todd outing the huge bribes.

Todd saying Whitney needs to use the sage longer. (Was this a dig at body odor?)

Babs saying Whitney was the egg with the hand motion.

I think even Tal threw some, but I can't remember what.

And that dance was so bad I was literally laughing out loud.

 

Of course, we also had inappropriate Whitney when Babs says her dad can't come and Whitney's response that it sounds like a personal problem. 

Ashley:  Whitney can never just run in and out.     Todd:  She can't run anywhere!

I don't remember shade from Tal other than the expression on his face during their "dance" :)

I thought he said that about the sage because the woman said something about it getting rid of bad energy!

Edited February 1, 2018 by princelina

[John M]

7 minutes ago, princelina said:

Ashley:  Whitney can never just run in and out.     Todd:  She can't run anywhere!

On top of that she walked like 40 feet and sounded like she was about to pass out from the exercise.