The Snowdens: Ashley, Dmitri, bachelorette #1, bachelorette #2, but definitely no Vanessa

[Kyanight]

32 minutes ago, Twopper said:

Well,  they would have thought they were being filmed to introduce Mama Donna to the viewers  (all 20 of us), I think, but I do agree it was orchestrated.  Maybe Dimitri got there a little too early?  Yeah, she wouldn't have changed her mind so quickly.

Question about Vanessa?     she wants to join the family that lives in Atlanta, but doesn't want to move with them to LA, because she likes living in Seattle.   Did she expect them to move to Seattle from Atlanta?  I can't stand these people except for Mama Donna.

Out of all these "couples" the only person I like is Mama Donna.  

We met Mama Donna last season - more than once.... so Ashley and her mother had to have known something was up.

I like Vanessa and Sharis Alldredge and Mrs. McGee, too.   And the Winders are ok.

Edited February 18, 2019 by Kyanight

[Pepper Mostly]

I like Vanessa OK but I cannot for the life of me figure out what the benefit would be to her for joining the Snowden's menage. Ashley and Dmitri give me the creeps.

[Kyanight]

7 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I like Vanessa OK but I cannot for the life of me figure out what the benefit would be to her for joining the Snowden's menage. Ashley and Dmitri give me the creeps.

They will make her life MISERABLE, in my opinion.  She is going to have to do all of the compromising and they will be rigid.  I give her a year - tops.

[Pepper Mostly]

I just hope she wakes up and heads for the hills before Dmitri knocks her up.

[Jenny8]

Vanessa's constant laughing and giggling is annoying. I think this is just an exciting, temporary adventure for her,  and the tv exposure just doubles the fun. She'll be gone soon once it all wears off. Not that it'll really matter to the Snowdens, they're only in it for the fun too. They'll just move on to the next willing sex partner. I just feel sorry for those babies exposed to this degeneracy.

[nightmeri]

https://www.reddit.com/r/seekingsisterwifetlc/comments/albi9s/dimitris_previous_marriage_rap_sheet/ on reddit there is a discussion of Dimitri being married prior to his relationship with Ashley. There seems to be some overlap (while he was fixing her computer and flirting with her, he was married and probably married while they were first together). Would love to hear from the first and only legal wife 

[Kyanight]

42 minutes ago, nightmeri said:

https://www.reddit.com/r/seekingsisterwifetlc/comments/albi9s/dimitris_previous_marriage_rap_sheet/ on reddit there is a discussion of Dimitri being married prior to his relationship with Ashley. There seems to be some overlap (while he was fixing her computer and flirting with her, he was married and probably married while they were first together). Would love to hear from the first and only legal wife 

lol    I could make so many comments to this.  I wonder if Dimitri felt the call long after marrying wife # 1 who didn't KNOW she was going to be wife #1?  And then ended up with Ashley coming into the "fold".   I wonder if DImitri had kids with wife # 1.  I wonder how Ashely treated wife # 1 and if she had resentment because SHE wasn't wife # 1.  (Can't tell you how much fun THAT is!!)   I could go on and on, but there's no point.

And NightMeri - your name just cracks me up!

Edited February 23, 2019 by Kyanight

[nightmeri]

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

lol    I could make so many comments to this.  

And NightMeri - your name just cracks me up!

@Kyanight I had your sane thoughts/questions 

lol blame Meri Brown for my name. I literally had a nightmare I was her and married to Kody!

[sainte-chapelle]

Vanessa, when asked you to uproot your life to move to LAyou should have countered with: I will need to quit my job, will you support me financially until I find work? Will my name be on the deed or lease so I have some rights if this doesn't work out? I have a lot to lose and have no friends, family or gainful employment in LA. How about I stay in Seattle for now and move once I find work and an apartment of my own, then we can consider moving in together.

[Twopper]

42 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Vanessa, when asked you to uproot your life to move to LAyou should have countered with: I will need to quit my job, will you support me financially until I find work? Will my name be on the deed or lease so I have some rights if this doesn't work out? I have a lot to lose and have no friends, family or gainful employment in LA. How about I stay in Seattle for now and move once I find work and an apartment of my own, then we can consider moving in together.

Well, he didn't want her to get a job in Cali, but in the next breath he wants her to set up a non-profit and someone makes a remark about her working in the food industry.  

I still think she is doing this to be on tv;  I would be surprised if as soon as filming ended she hurried back to Seattle only to return for next season ( if there is one).  I can't wait to see an episode where she sneaks out for a steak.  

I don't like anyone on this show so far, but at least I feel like the Allredges and Winders are sincere in their quest. 

[EtheltoTillie]

This week it seemed clear that both Ashley and Dmitri were drooling at the prospect of Vanessa's joining the family, giving further credence to the polyamorous speculation.  But all the "I love you"s sounded coy and silly.  When they talk about picking up and moving to California, it seems they have little to worry about.  A and D do not have real jobs.  I wish we knew what Vanessa's job was.

Edited February 25, 2019 by GussieK

[Pepper Mostly]

3 hours ago, GussieK said:

This week it seemed clear that both Ashley and Dmitri were drooling at the prospect of Vanessa's joining the family, giving further credence to the polyamorous speculation.  But all the "I love you"s sounded coy and silly.  When they talk about picking up and moving to California, it seems they have little to worry about.  A and D do not have real jobs.  I wish we knew what Vanessa's job was.

Agree. They're tapdancing around it but there's more sexual tension between Ashley and Vanessa than there is with Dmitri.

And if Vanessa's not an actress, I'll eat my hat.

[Chalby]

On 1/29/2018 at 3:55 PM, grammaester said:

I believe you can tell more from body language and facial expressions than from spoken words in most cases. Based on that, I don't see Ashley being all in on bringing in this new girl. There is no interest or excitement in her eyes or face at all and during the lunch with her, she looked positively pissed 

Great post - and YES, I agree !! It's like her forced smile says 'all is well', but her body language and her eyes show a lot of sadness, stress, and maybe even depression. I can't help but think this guy told her in college he wanted a harem and she was trying to be hip and liberal/ understanding, when really she was in love and hoping she would be enough after they married. Three pregnancies later, she's exhausted, her body belongs to children and her husband and she really needs a break. Meanwhile, he's reminding her he needs two more wives.  I wouldn't be surprised if Dimitri has some wealth which he uses as clout for his decisions. I feel bad for her (except when she opens her mouth in support). I doubt Dimitri would even want to share his new wife.

[Chalby]

On 1/28/2019 at 5:34 AM, Madding crowd said:

I think Vanessa is beautiful and has a great personality. But what’s in this for her? 

I don't see Vanessa giving in to Ashley at all. Heck, she even eggs on Dimitri and he doesn't know how to respond. She will respect their wishes not to eat meat in the house, but that gal will eat whatever the hell she wants outside of the home. If they take her on, they may find themselves giving in to her rules and demands. Especially so if Dimitri takes a major shine to her. Men in love act ridiculous. Ashley can threaten to leave all she wants, but he has no problem leaving a wife behind.

[Chalby]

On 2/20/2018 at 11:48 PM, Brooklyns Finest said:

Great and hilarious clap back at snowdens:https://rantravenews.wordpress.com/2018/02/20/seeking-sister-wives-dimitri-and-ashley-snowden/

Well, I am immediately attracted to the above writer, sight unseen, simply because his words reflect his love and respect for women and his devotion to monogamy because he's a grown, mature MAN. I wish Ashley would plant a seed (or two) of doubt in Dimitri's mind by stating it might be good if she had a chance to try one more pregnancy, but with a different man. Hubby #2?Perhaps one who is taller, built more muscular, possessing artistic or musical talent, with less of a baby face, and perhaps having an IQ closer to 140. You know, just for a better gene pool? Wouldn't it be wonderful to watch Dimitri's expression as Ashley rattles off her wish list for her next hubby?

[Chalby]

On 2/26/2018 at 1:21 PM, Gothish520 said:

Happiness never decreases by being shared."

Your last sentence disturbs me as I can see it being quoted and misused by anyone demanding a polygamous lifestyle from a spouse who doesn't feel the same way.

[Kyanight]

5 minutes ago, Chalby said:

Your last sentence disturbs me as I can see it being quoted and misused by anyone demanding a polygamous lifestyle from a spouse who doesn't feel the same way.

If the husband is going to do it, he is going to do it.  He will probably try convincing the first wife through religion (or bullying or sweet talking if the family isn't religious like some of the folks on this show) but if he is going to do it, he will  - and the first wife's feelings be damned.   I have never heard of a couple who did not practice polygamy because the first wife was adamant that they do not.  There ARE probably some couples - but I've never met any.

[Chalby]

On 2/28/2018 at 6:10 PM, JodyBug said:

First time caller, long time listener. Okay, I confess. Some of the so-called “reality” shows interest me; my latest guilty pleasure being “Seeking Sister Wife”, featuring the Snowdens; a fascinating and compelling couple. Why do they fascinate me? Because to me, it’s obvious they’re on the show for the notoriety and the cash, not to spread awareness about a lifestyle.

Like any genre of television series, reality shows are a business. The more viewers, the more business the networks get from sponsoring companies. THAT is the only true reality: rating$. The top-rated (most often watched) reality shows are those that give us, the viewers, drama. We WANT to see conflict, dilemma, social bullies, resolution, and underdogs coming out on top. We’re especially entranced with villains; those characters who rock the boat, stir sh*t up, and basically piss everybody off. These are the network heroes, believe it or not, as those characters are the reason we watch the show. And I do mean “characters” …

Reality TV is entertainment, and therefore, the people featured must be entertaining, which means they must become someone we’re rooting for or someone we love to hate. We need to FEEL something when we watch them. It doesn’t matter what. The more a program (and the people on it) entertains us, the more we watch. The more we watch, the higher the ratings, and ratings mean sponsors, right down to paid product placement, which is when the characters featured in a reality show use a certain brand of product that would normally be blurred out. From cosmetics to crock-pots, cast members are paid to use products as well as generate drama. This is show business; emphasis on the word ‘business’, and one Seeking Sister Wife couple, in my opinion, understand and accept this and are embracing and using that reality to gain recognition (reality stardom or ‘fame’) and an income.

Someone shared a link to a blog post where the author of that post used the word “snow job” as a nickname for the Snowden couple, yet the snow job is not being done on one partner by another, but on us. I believe that Dimitri and Ashley know EXACTLY what they’re doing. They have created a story based around a lifestyle to suit the needs of a show in order to get featured on that show. I don’t think for one second that Ashley is having the proverbial wool pulled over her eyes. I believe that she and her “warrior” are sticking to a story that isn’t true in the hopes that they will gain a level of status they wouldn’t otherwise have, as well as a unique form of success which includes a hefty income. If you note how often Ashley mentions’ building wealth’, you may begin to see, if you haven’t already, that this is a carefully orchestrated act being performed by the both of them.

On this website, Ashley Snowden is listed as a Seeking Sister Wife “actor”. https://gowatchit.com/actor/ashley-snowden-1390166

And, as she stated on her Instagram account: “We are simplified on the show for your entertainment, but there’s so much y’all don’t know.”

“for your entertainment”….

No one wants to tune in and watch someone do their laundry, or watch them at work, or listen to the small talk that goes on at the breakfast table. Viewers want something unusual and far removed from what they consider a “normal” lifestyle, which is why the Real Housewives are always throwing some theme party or event, or taking an exotic trip. Do you think this was their ‘normal’ before they were in a “reality” show? Of course not. It wouldn’t be entertaining to watch how ‘like’ us these people are (human). We want the dysfunction. We want the drama. It entertains us. Smoke and mirrors create an illusion of magic.

The people featured on reality TV are not sharing their most intimate moments. They don’t actually have a camera crew with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They do get private time and they do set boundaries as to what can, and cannot, be recorded. For instance, some may not want their children appearing on the show, so any time their children are involved, the cameras are not. For most families, that’s a huge chunk of lost footage – but it’s also when they can take off their masks, let their hair down, and be real.

When we know someone’s watching us, we tend to change our behavior. Add to this that reality shows are carefully edited to show specific people and situations in a certain light; emphasizing some aspects of their character and downplaying others. Conversations are chopped into snippets and played for us out of context. This includes facial expressions. Reactions that were not in response to a statement made by one of the characters, but to something else entirely, are shown out of sequence. Creative editing makes everything more dramatic and more interesting.

Certain situations are staged or intentionally created (or re-created/acted out) for dramatic effect. Producers prompt the show characters, often telling them what “the viewers” love about them and want to see. It can be total BS, but if someone narcissistic and hungry for fame is told that their fans think So-and-So is taking advantage of them, or that the fans love it when they stand up to So-and-So, that person going to react differently when So-and-So is present, more differently than they would have without having proverbial seeds planted in their head and a video camera on them. So onto the Snowdens…

I suspect that they have an open relationship; something they likely had from the get-go. I know couples who have open marriages and it isn’t at all unusual (to them) for the husband to salivate over another woman in the presence of his wife; and vice versa. Now, if Dimitri and Ashley are swingers, and/or if Ashley is bisexual, then one can more easily understand and accept why she wouldn’t be bothered by her not-husband getting all worked up over other women.

It seems to me that when the woman they are ‘dating’ is more into men or Dimitri than they’re into women or Ashley, Ashley naturally feels left out and so it’s a “no” on the other woman. I do not think she is at all threatened by Dimitri screwing around with other women, nor do I believe that any conversation they had about his “mistake” with Jocelyn was filmed as it happened. I’m sure that was a private conversation, if it happened at all, held behind closed doors with cameras off.

Some wonder why Ashely wouldn’t want to be Dimitri’s legal wife, saying she’d be more financially secure if she were. Not for nothing, but Dimitri doesn’t strike me as someone who is a good provider. He seems all over the place. His website lists his failures, an obvious way of nipping things in the bud, as it were. Address the issues he’ll most certainly be questioned about before they become issues. Put it out there as a list of experiences, lessons, trial-and-errors. Package it as something to be shared intentionally rather than a confession; something revealed before the public discovers it. Give it a soft spin. Okay, so how is he supporting himself and his family and that expensive house of theirs?

Six years ago, Ashley stopped working to be a stay-at-home-mom. http://viyoutube.com/video/ob16mcSDBv8/i decided to make a career change She chose not to marry her Dimitri and, after two more children, she remains legally single by choice. If she were to marry, she wouldn’t be able to present herself as a single mother with three children, and therefore, she would not be able to collect welfare and other benefits IF this is how she supports herself and her family.  

On her website: http://ashleykapri.com/ she describes herself as: “writer • mystic • dancer • educator”. In addition to that and being an “actor”, she is also featured on Medium.com as a psychic medium:  https://medium.com/@ashleykaprisnowden 

I have no problem with any of that. I simply have a speculation... If Ashley’s been a stay-at-home-mom for the last six years, I doubt any work she may have done as a writer, mystic, dancer, or educator during that time has paid enough to support the tribe. This is why I suspect that when an opportunity presented itself, the Snowden’s saw it for exactly what it was and put a spin on their reality ("...there’s so much y’all don’t know.”) pleasing the network and getting the job. I find them to be extremely clever in this respect. They are playing roles, archetypes; Ashley The Earth Mother who I can see later becoming some kind of consultant to other women who want what she has while Dimitri is the 'Jack of All Trades, Master of None'. He’s keeping his options open. Come what may. I suspect he is a sociopath - which doesn’t automatically make him dangerous in the physical sense, but I wouldn’t trust him in a business deal. I can see him hoping his stint on Seeking Sister Wife will enable him to build an empire, perhaps doing business coaching. He’s charming, charismatic, and an expert in semantics. He could literally be a criminal defense attorney with the way he twists words and ideas.

The Snowdens seem like a very smart and united couple looking for income, book deals, and business opportunities. “Progressive Tribal” is their shtick. So, I don’t think the SnowDen of Inequity is as off-balance as people think. I believe it’s exactly what Ashley said it was: entertainment. But we want to believe it’s real, so we do. And in my opinion, THAT is the real snow job. And it’s brilliant!

WOW - This answers everything I wondered. Thank you.

[Pepper Mostly]

1 hour ago, Chalby said:

Your last sentence disturbs me as I can see it being quoted and misused by anyone demanding a polygamous lifestyle from a spouse who doesn't feel the same way.

Like Kody's "love should be multiplied, not divided". He's full of shit! Its multiplied for HIM. Its divided for his four wives who fight for the crumbs of his attention. Bah.

[Gothish520]

1 hour ago, Chalby said:

Your last sentence disturbs me as I can see it being quoted and misused by anyone demanding a polygamous lifestyle from a spouse who doesn't feel the same way.

24 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Like Kody's "love should be multiplied, not divided". He's full of shit! Its multiplied for HIM. Its divided for his four wives who fight for the crumbs of his attention. Bah.

People can twist words to suit their own needs, of course. But the quote simply means that if you share your joy or happiness with others, yours will not diminish. 

[Meowwww]

Their pretentiousness really grates.  Every year he “sends” Ashley on a fabulous trip.  Ashley’s bindi, on her and the baby.  The vegetarianism. Dimitris web site.  I mean come on.  Uck.  

[Tabbygirl521]

On 2/7/2018 at 10:39 PM, Rainflower said:

Dimitri's Facebook post have me rolling my damn eyes at him. The bolded part is my doing. I grew up around people like Dimitri that used psychology, definitions, etc. to try to manipulate people around them. 

This jackass can fuck right off. Choosing this, of all subjects, to mansplain? Go to hell. 

[Wollstonecraft]

Why would Vanessa join the family without knowing about Dimitri intimately? Wonder if he's horrid in bed, has a scary penis or has beyond kinky sex practices? Plus, who wants to be a built-in babysitter to another woman's children?  It's a win-win situation for them, zero for her.

[nightmeri]

Uhmmm I am just going to leave this here https://www-intouchweekly-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.intouchweekly.com/posts/seeking-sister-wife-ashley-tells-vanessa-to-do-detox-diet-before-sex/amp/?amp_js_v=0.1#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From %1%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.intouchweekly.com%2Fposts%2Fseeking-sister-wife-ashley-tells-vanessa-to-do-detox-diet-before-sex%2F

detox diet before sex will be approved 

[xwordfanatik]

Dear Vanessa:

Is this polygamy thing really going to work for you?  

Wackos.

[KeeperOfTheIce]

3 hours ago, nightmeri said:

Uhmmm I am just going to leave this here https://www-intouchweekly-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.intouchweekly.com/posts/seeking-sister-wife-ashley-tells-vanessa-to-do-detox-diet-before-sex/amp/?amp_js_v=0.1#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From %1%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.intouchweekly.com%2Fposts%2Fseeking-sister-wife-ashley-tells-vanessa-to-do-detox-diet-before-sex%2F

detox diet before sex will be approved 

😂- Ashley is going to keep coming up with Requirements to prevent/delay sex between Vanessa and Demitri as long as possible. 

[Kyanight]

5 hours ago, KeeperOfTheIce said:

😂- Ashley is going to keep coming up with Requirements to prevent/delay sex between Vanessa and Demitri as long as possible. 

Dear Vanessa, 

Congratulations!  You have succeeded with the detox diet and now you have taken the first step towards orgasm!  Once you have completed this list you will be able to have your one night with Dimitri, where all of your dreams come true!  Please work through this list in numerical order - from number one through the other numbers until you are through.

1. ) Before sharing a bed with Dimitri you must have bed sheets of a puce hue, NO LESS THAN 1200 THREAD COUNT! - blessed by a 17 Tibetan monks chanting "om" at the base of Mt. Everest.

2. ) You must find a chunk of Amergris no less than 6" in circumference.  (Basically, ambergris is the vomit of sperm whales.  Scientists found a chemical in whale bile, ambrein, makes rats crave sexual activity. )

3.)  You must be my mother's servant (Mama Donna) for one full calendar year so that she will accept you as a new wife in our family.  This includes all cleaning, cooking, laundry, car repairs, house painting, fence building, concrete laying, and any other assorted tasks that may be presented.  If you perform at a high level:  At the end of one year, submit the blessed (unused) bed sheets, the amergris and your 69 page completed application (including your 19,782 word essay on "Why I deserve a boink with Dimitri" to our P.O. box address which you should already have in your possession.  Please refer to page 872 in your "Snowden Family Polygamy Handbook" if you haven't memorized the address already.

4.) While your application and essay are being reviewed and approved, you will reside in our residence and provide child care, hair styling, meal preparation and house cleaning.  You will prostrate yourself whenever Dimitri or I (Ashley) enter the room.  

5.) If you have any spare time at all, you will spend it searching for new potential sister wives.

6.) You will submit a $180,309 non-refundable application fee.

7. ) You will have a new vaginal wall built by the best plastic surgeons so that no other penis has ever entered your shaft before Dimitri's.

8.) You will do a 974 day cleansing diet consisting of nothing but raisins, whole wheat bow-tie pasta and hard salami.  You will only drink Bubly Cherry sparkling water.

9.) You will agree to give birth to 17 children in a 20 year time period and have them all potty trained by the age of 18 months.  We do not use diapers in our home and will not allow a sister wife to bring them into the home, so you will have to catch urine and feces with a bowl or container and dispose of properly in a timely manner.  The good news is that baby wipes are totally approved in our household, so you will not have to wipe their butts with your hair!

10.) You will find the Holy Grail and bring it back in a CLASSY (not cheap or brassy looking!) display box for our living room.

I feel that you have made a GREAT start so far and you are well on your way to becoming a full-fledged member of this family.  Doesn't that make your girly-parts tingle?  

Can't wait until we can actually have you consummate this marriage and be a true sister wife!

Signed,

The one and only matriarch

Edited March 3, 2019 by Kyanight

[gonecrackers]

Okay so basically Ashley wants Vanessa to be... Ashley. So disturbing - Vanessa's looking very different with a head wrap & no makeup, listening to a lecture on what she can & cannot eat. I'm surprised no bindi- yet.  Ashley was explaining the mandatory diet but what a joke - Vanessa basically said in her TH she just wants some "D" because she has needs so she'll do what "they want" to get it.  And since Ashley's 'ladies' were noticeably pointing at the floor I suppose Vanessa is also required to toss her bras, & holy crap, they both need some support.

[Phoebe70]

Must be nice to just say, “Hey, we had a lot of fun in LA last week on vacation. I think we should pack up our 3 young kids and move out there!”

I mean, who does that? No job or housing prospects out there, but hey let’s move across country! And to make it even better, let’s drive from Georgia to California with 2 small children and a baby so we can sightsee!  

[nightmeri]

3 hours ago, Kyanight said:

5 hours ago, KeeperOfTheIce said:

😂- Ashley is going to keep coming up with Requirements to prevent/delay sex between Vanessa and Demitri as long as possible. 

Dear Vanessa, 

Congratulations!  You have succeeded with the detox diet and now you have taken the first step towards orgasm!  Once you have completed this list you will be able to have your one night with Dimitri, where all of your dreams come true!  Please work through this list in numerical order - from number one through the other numbers until you are through.

1. ) Before sharing a bed with Dimitri you must have bed sheets of a puce hue, NO LESS THAN 1200 THREAD COUNT! - blessed by a 17 Tibetan monks chanting "om" at the base of Mt. Everest.

2. ) You must find a chunk of Amergris no less than 6" in circumference.  (Basically, ambergris is the vomit of sperm whales.  Scientists found a chemical in whale bile, ambrein, makes rats crave sexual activity. )

3.)  You must be my mother's slave (Mama Donna) for one full calendar year so that she will accept you as a new wife in our family.  This includes all cleaning, cooking, laundry, car repairs, house painting, fence building, concrete laying, and any other assorted tasks that may be presented.  If you perform at a high level:  At the end of one year, submit the blessed (unused) bed sheets, the amergris and your 69 page completed application (including your 19,782 word essay on "Why I deserve a boink with Dimitri" to our P.O. box address which you should already have in your possession.  Please refer to page 872 in your "Snowden Family Polygamy Handbook" if you haven't memorized the address already.

4.) While your application and essay are being reviewed and approved, you will reside in our residence and provide child care, hair styling, meal preparation and house cleaning.  You will prostrate yourself whenever Dimitri or I (Ashley) enter the room.  

5.) If you have any spare time at all, you will spend it searching for new potential sister wives.

6.) You will submit a $180,309 non-refundable application fee.

@Kyanight please sit at my lunch table forever! I loved all of this but could see number 6 being a reality with these scam artists. In my secret life I am a writer and the Snowdens and your snarky take on them may inspire a dark fantasy book lol

Edited March 3, 2019 by nightmeri
My iPhone put an apostrophe where one doesn’t belong

[Phoebe70]

15 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Dear Vanessa, 

Congratulations!  You have succeeded with the detox diet and now you have taken the first step towards orgasm!  Once you have completed this list you will be able to have your one night with Dimitri, where all of your dreams come true!  Please work through this list in numerical order - from number one through the other numbers until you are through.

1. ) Before sharing a bed with Dimitri you must have bed sheets of a puce hue, NO LESS THAN 1200 THREAD COUNT! - blessed by a 17 Tibetan monks chanting "om" at the base of Mt. Everest.

2. ) You must find a chunk of Amergris no less than 6" in circumference.  (Basically, ambergris is the vomit of sperm whales.  Scientists found a chemical in whale bile, ambrein, makes rats crave sexual activity. )

3.)  You must be my mother's servant (Mama Donna) for one full calendar year so that she will accept you as a new wife in our family.  This includes all cleaning, cooking, laundry, car repairs, house painting, fence building, concrete laying, and any other assorted tasks that may be presented.  If you perform at a high level:  At the end of one year, submit the blessed (unused) bed sheets, the amergris and your 69 page completed application (including your 19,782 word essay on "Why I deserve a boink with Dimitri" to our P.O. box address which you should already have in your possession.  Please refer to page 872 in your "Snowden Family Polygamy Handbook" if you haven't memorized the address already.

4.) While your application and essay are being reviewed and approved, you will reside in our residence and provide child care, hair styling, meal preparation and house cleaning.  You will prostrate yourself whenever Dimitri or I (Ashley) enter the room.  

5.) If you have any spare time at all, you will spend it searching for new potential sister wives.

6.) You will submit a $180,309 non-refundable application fee.

7. ) You will have a new vaginal wall built by the best plastic surgeons so that no other penis has ever entered your shaft before Dimitri's.

8.) You will do a 974 day cleansing diet consisting of nothing but raisins, whole wheat bow-tie pasta and hard salami.  You will only drink Bubly Cherry sparkling water.

9.) You will agree to give birth to 17 children in a 20 year time period and have them all potty trained by the age of 18 months.  We do not use diapers in our home and will not allow a sister wife to bring them into the home, so you will have to catch urine and feces with a bowl or container and dispose of properly in a timely manner.  The good news is that baby wipes are totally approved in our household, so you will not have to wipe their butts with your hair!

10.) You will find the Holy Grail and bring it back in a CLASSY (not cheap or brassy looking!) display box for our living room.

I feel that you have made a GREAT start so far and you are well on your way to becoming a full-fledged member of this family.  Doesn't that make your girly-parts tingle?  

Can't wait until we can actually have you consummate this marriage and be a true sister wife!

Signed,

The one and only matriarch

Don’t forget about the bindi on the forehead 🙄

[suev3333]

I think Vanessa is going to be a baby sitter and Dimitri's sex choice....creepy

[sainte-chapelle]

On 3/2/2019 at 4:59 PM, gonecrackers said:

Okay so basically Ashley wants Vanessa to be... Ashley. So disturbing - Vanessa's looking very different with a head wrap & no makeup, listening to a lecture on what she can & cannot eat. I'm surprised no bindi- yet.  Ashley was explaining the mandatory diet but what a joke - Vanessa basically said in her TH she just wants some "D" because she has needs so she'll do what "they want" to get it.  And since Ashley's 'ladies' were noticeably pointing at the floor I suppose Vanessa is also required to toss her bras, & holy crap, they both need some support.

Yes, it is all super creepy. It seems that Vanessa is not allowed an identity of her own. If this were a monogamous relationship abuse red flags would be flying all over the place. Vanessa is isolated and has zero income, she has to do whatever Ashley and Demetri demand or she is out on her ass. If she steps out of line with Ashley or when Demitri tires of her she will be gone with zero support or legal recourse. It's a dangerous situation.

[Kyanight]

This detox is a joke.  What if Dimitri actually showered and washed his "shared member" before boinking the different wives?  I mean... common SENSE people!

Kody Browns wives all live in different houses and eat different foods.... I haven't heard any of them whining about what the other wives are passing along on Kody's penis!  

Unbelievable!  Ashley's such a dictator!

[suev3333]

Detox diet so they don't pass yeast infections to each other?  😳 Ummmmm......ok then 

[Joan of Argh]

50 minutes ago, suev3333 said:

Detox diet so they don't pass yeast infections to each other?  😳 Ummmmm......ok then 

I don't get it...Dimitri must have a magic flute penis...  

Why is Vanessa willing to go through all this BS for that?... Unbelievable!  🙄

[Madding crowd]

I don’t understand why Vanessa is willing to jump through all these hoops to be part of this family. In the other families on the show , the wives seem to be somewhat equal in status and live simple kind of lives. Vanessa is already taking care of the kids, cleaning and basically doing Ashley ‘s bidding.

Where is there room for Vanessa to have some say in anything? And if Dimitri washes himself he won’t be passing anything back and forth. It seems like Vanessa won’t even have a say in her own sex life. I couldn’t be around these people for five minutes. The PH thing is nonsense. I have been a vegetarian since age 8 married 24 years to a meat eater and have zero idea about our ph levels!

Edited March 4, 2019 by Madding crowd

[princelina]

On 3/2/2019 at 4:59 PM, gonecrackers said:

Okay so basically Ashley wants Vanessa to be... Ashley. So disturbing - Vanessa's looking very different with a head wrap & no makeup, listening to a lecture on what she can & cannot eat. I'm surprised no bindi- yet.  Ashley was explaining the mandatory diet but what a joke - Vanessa basically said in her TH she just wants some "D" because she has needs so she'll do what "they want" to get it.  And since Ashley's 'ladies' were noticeably pointing at the floor I suppose Vanessa is also required to toss her bras, & holy crap, they both need some support.

Yeah she's being asked to put up with an awful lot - if she just wants some "D" and to be on tv she needs to apply for Married at First Sight! 

On 3/2/2019 at 7:05 PM, Phoebe70 said:

Must be nice to just say, “Hey, we had a lot of fun in LA last week on vacation. I think we should pack up our 3 young kids and move out there!”

I mean, who does that? No job or housing prospects out there, but hey let’s move across country! And to make it even better, let’s drive from Georgia to California with 2 small children and a baby so we can sightsee!  

The only thing crazier is the person who volunteers to accompany them 😄

[EtheltoTillie]

On 3/2/2019 at 7:05 PM, Phoebe70 said:

Must be nice to just say, “Hey, we had a lot of fun in LA last week on vacation. I think we should pack up our 3 young kids and move out there!”

I mean, who does that? No job or housing prospects out there, but hey let’s move across country! And to make it even better, let’s drive from Georgia to California with 2 small children and a baby so we can sightsee!  

Now she’s just a nanny. Notice they had that baby strapped to her right away. 

[lu1535]

1 hour ago, GussieK said:

Now she’s just a nanny. Notice they had that baby strapped to her right away.

...........and a house mover.

[Pepper Mostly]

8 hours ago, princelina said:

Yeah she's being asked to put up with an awful lot - if she just wants some "D" and to be on tv she needs to apply for Married at First Sight! 

LOL, maybe she did! 

I'm convinced that Vanessa is an actress. 

[MV713]

www.vanessacobbs.com - seems they are still together? 

[LucyEth]

I don't understand how Vanessa could want this life with these people.  She is giving up everything and Ashley is calling all the shots of how things will be and what is going to happen.  She better start pushing back and establish a level playing field with Ashley or she will be lost.  Dimitri just wants additional sexual partners (maybe Ashley too), they are not "Mormons" or whatever, so not really sure what the motivation is for "plural marriage"

[Kyanight]

Just now, LucyEth said:

I don't understand how Vanessa could want this life with these people.  She is giving up everything and Ashley is calling all the shots of how things will be and what is going to happen.  She better start pushing back and establish a level playing field with Ashley or she will be lost.  Dimitri just wants additional sexual partners (maybe Ashley too), they are not "Mormons" or whatever, so not really sure what the motivation is for "plural marriage"

Well even after all this time (a year and a half or so after filming?) they still call Vanessa "the girlfriend" and not a wife, so I guess she still hasn't passed all of the tests Ashley has for her.

[xwordfanatik]

26 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Well even after all this time (a year and a half or so after filming?) they still call Vanessa "the girlfriend" and not a wife, so I guess she still hasn't passed all of the tests Ashley has for her.

Vanessa will be awarded her official bindi and wife status, after Dimitri has boinked her.  Ashley will forever be in charge, though.  Ugh.

[Kyanight]

21 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Vanessa will be awarded her official bindi and wife status, after Dimitri has boinked her.  Ashley will forever be in charge, though.  Ugh.

But that didn't happen.  We've seen pictures of Vanessa sporting her sassy little iguana poop bindi on her forehead and I am guessing the 21 day detox is over since it's been a year since the filming (so they probably have boinked by now).... but just a month ago she was still a "girlfriend" and a "potential sister wife".

[xwordfanatik]

14 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

But that didn't happen.  We've seen pictures of Vanessa sporting her sassy little iguana poop bindi on her forehead and I am guessing the 21 day detox is over since it's been a year since the filming (so they probably have boinked by now).... but just a month ago she was still a "girlfriend" and a "potential sister wife".

Ah, OK.  I haven't watched the whole thing yet.  I wonder if she's pregnant yet?  Perish the thought.

[tabloidlover]

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

Well even after all this time (a year and a half or so after filming?) they still call Vanessa "the girlfriend" and not a wife, so I guess she still hasn't passed all of the tests Ashley has for her.

Sadly, she will never pass all of the (bogus, bullshit made up) tests that Ashley keeps throwing at her.   A 21 day PH cleanse?  Seriously?   I swear Ashley looked as though she was making it up on the spot. 

Ashley and Dimitri deserve each other.  Next season, I want a clip of Ashley alone during their consummation.   Let’s see how cool she was then 🙄

[Wollstonecraft]

I get a huge fake vibe from Ashley. You can wear 10 damn bindi's on your forehead, but you still come off as pretentious and conniving.

[Chalby]

On 2/26/2019 at 6:53 PM, Meowwww said:

Their pretentiousness really grates.  Every year he “sends” Ashley on a fabulous trip.  Ashley’s bindi, on her and the baby.  The vegetarianism. Dimitris web site.  I mean come on.  Uck.  

I have noticed the education system (the last 7 years) has really been drilling it into students' heads that it is wrong to misappropriate a culture (I hope I am using the right word). Her sudden need for a bindi when she is not a practising Hindu is beyond annoying. I have decided the only way this nonsense is happening with this couple is because this guy is extremely wealthy and can have whatever lifestyle he chooses. Ashley will do anything to keep him, and his new 'wife' will benefit from the money and lifestyle.