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All Episodes Talk: Small World, Big Lives


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Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

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Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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9 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I’m not sure why it was okay for Amy to invite Caryn over for her housewarming but it’s such an issue for Caryn to do the reverse. 

Because Amy is one big PIA and that's how she rolls!

I do wonder if she does have reservations about Chris and Caryn get togethers.

Once stung...twice shy!

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(edited)
28 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Well she could have vetoed it so she was on board to some degree.

I see no reason to believe Caryn wasn't entirely on board with it.  The fact that something makes you "nervous" (most people don't relish being around someone they know dislikes them) but you do it anyway -- again, for a greater good -- is, in fact, admirable, IMO.

Edited by all4mom2
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Caryn doesn't seem to be shy about telling Matt what she thinks.  A couple of years ago, they were talking about buying a house to flip, and she did not like one of the houses he showed her . . . and let him know (firmly, but without nastiness) that she did not want to put her money towards that particular house.

I think Caryn is a "choose your battle" kind of person when it comes to dealing with Matt.  Amy seems to just show up dressed for battle, and challenges pretty much everybody on pretty much everything if they don't willingly just do things her way.

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12 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I’m not sure why it was okay for Amy to invite Caryn over for her housewarming but it’s such an issue for Caryn to do the reverse. 

Amy was reluctant about inviting Caryn to her house, too. I remember her sour face over having to invite her.  Neither one of them want this forced "friendship" but TLC wrote the story and if they want to get paid they will do what they are told. Caryn is much more aware of being nice in front of the camera where as Amy doesn't care. 

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29 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Amy was reluctant about inviting Caryn to her house, too. I remember her sour face over having to invite her.  Neither one of them want this forced "friendship" but TLC wrote the story and if they want to get paid they will do what they are told. Caryn is much more aware of being nice in front of the camera where as Amy doesn't care. 

It may or may not be all TLC.  I think both Matt and Chris would like for the four of them to be "friendly."  Caryn's doing her best.  Amy needs to get over herself.

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Why does she have to be friendly beyond being cordial in public settings to people she doesn't like? 

I mean really, there's plenty of people in my life I don't especially like but will be pleasant to. I don't feel that I need to get over myself and invite these people into my home to prove I will be friends regardless.

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31 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

The weird thing is that they have never spelled out on the show that Amy suspects that Caryn was Matt’s mistress before the divorce.  If they did more viewers would understand why Amy isn’t keen to socialize with Caryn.  As it is portrayed Amy seems to be overreacting.

IMHO, if Caryn had been a nun for her entire life and only left the cloistered life AFTER Matt and Amy's divorce was final, Amy would STILL bad-mouth Matt, Caryn and everyone else.

Amy's gotta Amy.

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(edited)

Considering that they were totally incompatible from the get-go, the marriage was deader than a doornail almost from the time they married, and that it's obvious they remained together only for the farm, kids, and show, whatever happened with Caryn whenever wasn't the cause of the divorce.  She hardly "wrecked" a happy home, especially if it was only a close or even too-close friendship  until after the separation and/or divorce.

Amy IS overreacting (she didn't want Matt when she had him) and, IMO, after all these years and water under the bridge she has about run the string out on that one.

It would be nice to see them wish each other well and behave like four mature adults, but then what would we talk about here?

Seems to me Amy was actually being NICE to Matt after he initially moved out, suggesting therapy, hoping to win him back.  I can recall her wondering if he was going to date and whom he might date.  Only after he did -- and it turned out to be Caryn, of all people -- did she see red and turn nasty (again, reverting to her behavior during their marriage).  She was shocked that he could attract anyone, much less the pretty average-size farm manager, so that seems to contradict the legend that she "suspected" them all along.  It wouldn't surprise me if Amy were a revisionist historian in addition to her other talents.

Edited by all4mom2
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I think if you have been watching the show throughout its run, you know what Amy suspects. Good buddy Lisa has even thrown shade at Matt and Caryn during the "lives" hinting at an affair.   I believe all of their interactions are show driven.  They need storylines that will keep people interested.  Talking about Lilah's glasses and Jackson's issue with the bathroom is not going to keep people interested.  How much can we look at Zach's open mouthed dumb looking face and Tori's giggling about her kids.   I don't think Chris would give a flying fig about Matt and vice versa, if there were not a show and that wedding would not be at the farm.  

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1 hour ago, LucyEth said:

How much can we look at Zach's open mouthed dumb looking face and Tori's giggling about her kids.   I don't think Chris would give a flying fig about Matt and vice versa, if there were not a show and that wedding would not be at the farm.  

You took the words right out of my mouth....😄

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(edited)
5 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I do wonder if she does have reservations about Chris and Caryn get togethers.

Yes. I've always wondered if Caryn and Chris might end up with each other. They do seem to be very compatible...calm demeanor, willing to compromise, both fairly attractive, might possibly get some $$ from the Pumpkin Patch Roloffs. 

But I only comment and base my opinions on what TLC shows us.

Edited by chenoa333
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14 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

Yes. I've always wondered if Caryn and Chris might end up with each other. They do seem to be very compatible...calm demeanor, willing to compromise, both fairly attractive, might possibly get some $$ from the Pumpkin Patch Roloffs. 

But I only comment and base my opinions on what TLC shows us.

Matt and Amy clashed because they're both dominant personalities.  Caryn and Chris suit them because they're deferential (although I'm not sure anyone can bend over far enough to get along with Amy for long).  Caryn and Chris together would be like, "After you; no, after you!"

Besides, Caryn is too big for his tastes.

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17 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

 

Something Amy said that struck me as odd was when she entered Caryn’s house and said, oh, it’s so cute……no.  A 3 bedroom house is not cute. Cute is for a small apartment, kitten or boy in your classroom.  She has a nice home, imo.  I saw it as a dig.  Oh well, maybe, I am sensitive! 🤣

Nope, you're definitely not sensitive.  I thought the same thing when Amy saw the house and made that comment.  It's nice, would have been a better thing to say.  Or I like the color of this or that. 

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I wonder what Caryn's personality will be like after being with Matt for 20 years?  She gets the benefit of the doubt for being this calm supportive person after only dating Matt for a couple of years.    No kids to raise and no money issues can help anyone's relationship.  My sister married a Matt...he was always starting new projects, he put himself first all of the time, and he stopped sharing his ideas with my sister.  She became defensive, unhappy, snarky and she stopped trusting everyone.  She remarried a nice, calm normal guy and she finally is back to being the sister I remember...just very easy going.  Hoping the same for Amy.  Oh yea, my ex brother-in-law had a few DUIs, just like Matt.  That just tells me he drank many times while driving and didn't get caught.  Another reason for Amy to feel pissed at Matt.  I won't even mention screwing the hired help...lol

I laughed at the idea of the rocks at the wedding because I immediately thought about how people threw rice.  Lol, hoping people didn't get any ideas!

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2 hours ago, all4mom2 said:

Considering that they were totally incompatible from the get-go, the marriage was deader than a doornail almost from the time they married, and that it's obvious they remained together only for the farm, kids, and show,

You might want to rewatch the first few seasons. While there was always a little back and forth between them, Matt and Amy seemed pretty affectionate and in love until about season five and six. (The big house build and the show filming pretty much nonstop) I remembered it being more hostile than it was as well but this wasn't a situation where Matt and Amy were openly miserable with each other episode one. 

2 hours ago, all4mom2 said:

whatever happened with Caryn whenever wasn't the cause of the divorce.  She hardly "wrecked" a happy home, especially if it was only a close or even too-close friendship  until after the separation and/or divorce.

1) Did it help the marriage? Is that the idea now?

2) It is home wrecking, no matter how "happy" one thinks the home is. Matt knew he was married. Depending on how early they started, Caryn knew *she* was married and that her object of interest was married to a woman she loudly insists was a good friend.  Being unhappy is not an excuse to cheat, it's a reason to get divorced. 

3)There's plenty of circumstantial evidence that goes along with Amy's statements that things were inappropriate well before the separation and divorce

2 hours ago, all4mom2 said:

Amy IS overreacting (she didn't want Matt when she had him) and, IMO, after all these years and water under the bridge she has about run the string out on that one.

How is she over reacting? I mean, is it absolutely UNREASONABLE and RIDICULOUS to not want to be friends with Caryn? It's not like Amy is flipping tables screaming "prostitution whore!" at Caryn in public filmed settings. How is not wanting to hang around your ex husband's girlfriend overreacting? For all the talk of blow ups and explosions, help me out here, when has Amy "exploded" on Caryn? I'm sorta loving how Amy - who is soundly trounced for being inarticulate and not using words appropriately, was of course making a subtle verbal insult by calling Caryn's condo "cute". Frankly I thought Amy was trying to be nice by *saying something nice*.

 

2 hours ago, LucyEth said:

Talking about Lilah's glasses and Jackson's issue with the bathroom is not going to keep people interested.  How much can we look at Zach's open mouthed dumb looking face and Tori's giggling about her kids.  

Yeah they really need a plot other than forcing get togethers between two couples who aren't into each other. 

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3 hours ago, all4mom2 said:

Considering that they were totally incompatible from the get-go, the marriage was deader than a doornail almost from the time they married, and that it's obvious they remained together only for the farm, kids, and show, whatever happened with Caryn whenever wasn't the cause of the divorce.  She hardly "wrecked" a happy home, especially if it was only a close or even too-close friendship  until after the separation and/or divorce.

Amy IS overreacting (she didn't want Matt when she had him) and, IMO, after all these years and water under the bridge she has about run the string out on that one.

It would be nice to see them wish each other well and behave like four mature adults, but then what would we talk about here?

Seems to me Amy was actually being NICE to Matt after he initially moved out, suggesting therapy, hoping to win him back.  I can recall her wondering if he was going to date and whom he might date.  Only after he did -- and it turned out to be Caryn, of all people -- did she see red and turn nasty (again, reverting to her behavior during their marriage).  She was shocked that he could attract anyone, much less the pretty average-size farm manager, so that seems to contradict the legend that she "suspected" them all along.  It wouldn't surprise me if Amy were a revisionist historian in addition to her other talents.

This!

I couldn’t agree more, well said 👍🏻

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(edited)
47 minutes ago, watcherwoman said:

I wonder what Caryn's personality will be like after being with Matt for 20 years?  She gets the benefit of the doubt for being this calm supportive person after only dating Matt for a couple of years.    No kids to raise and no money issues can help anyone's relationship.  My sister married a Matt...he was always starting new projects, he put himself first all of the time, and he stopped sharing his ideas with my sister.  She became defensive, unhappy, snarky and she stopped trusting everyone.  She remarried a nice, calm normal guy and she finally is back to being the sister I remember...just very easy going.  Hoping the same for Amy.  Oh yea, my ex brother-in-law had a few DUIs, just like Matt.  That just tells me he drank many times while driving and didn't get caught.  Another reason for Amy to feel pissed at Matt.  I won't even mention screwing the hired help...lol

I laughed at the idea of the rocks at the wedding because I immediately thought about how people threw rice.  Lol, hoping people didn't get any ideas!

Your sister sounds like a good woman with the wrong man.  Hence her unhappy personality.

Unlike your sister Amy now has a second guy nice and calm and she's on the road to the same thing with him!

She's just nasty and spiteful!

Edited by Jeanne222
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3 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

The weird thing is that they have never spelled out on the show that Amy suspects that Caryn was Matt’s mistress before the divorce.  If they did more viewers would understand why Amy isn’t keen to socialize with Caryn.  As it is portrayed Amy seems to be overreacting.

I think that when on the show the producer's asked about that and Amy backpeddled just like the interview when she was asked!

Amy came up with that nonsense with no proof and to sell books.  Nobody bought her books and nobody believed her.

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(edited)
10 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Your sister sounds like a good woman with the wrong man.  Hence her unhappy personality.

Unlike your sister Amy now has a second guy nice and calm and she's on the road to the same thing with him!

She's just nasty and spiteful!

She was also nasty and spiteful before she'd been married to Matt for 20 years.  And her father is nasty and spiteful, and he's NEVER been married to Matt!  The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

If Amy were truly happy and in love with Chris, she wouldn't give a fig what had happened when all those years ago (if anything even did).  In fact, she'd be grateful things turned out as they have because, you know, she's so happy and in love with Chris and all.  When you're happy and in love, you let bygones be bygones.  When you're angry and bitter, you chew on the same old cud forever.

Edited by all4mom2
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(edited)
1 hour ago, watcherwoman said:

I wonder what Caryn's personality will be like after being with Matt for 20 years?  She gets the benefit of the doubt for being this calm supportive person after only dating Matt for a couple of years.

Watch some of the earlier seasons, you'll get an idea. The anger and hostility between Amy and Matt didn't really amp up until the big house remodel. 

 

13 minutes ago, all4mom2 said:

She was also nasty and spiteful before she'd been married to Matt for 20 years. 

There's really no evidence of that. Amy in the early episodes was well liked and very sociable at the little people conferences with people happily going on about how they'd been friends for years with Amy. And while anons on insta and facebook and redit don't hold a lot of sway, by all reports, people who have met Amy report her as friendly and pleasant.

13 minutes ago, all4mom2 said:

And her father is nasty and spiteful, and he's NEVER been married to Matt! 

I suspect the definition of "nasty and spiteful" is "not in love with Matt". Amy's dad gets labeled "mean to Matt' mostly because of one scene early on (season one or two) where he tisked tisked over how a lot of Matt's attractions were dilapidated and in need of repairs. (they still are, how many have actually rotted beyond repair?) All the kids seem to love the old guy.

13 minutes ago, all4mom2 said:

If Amy were truly happy and in love with Chris, she wouldn't give a fig what had happened when all those years ago.

This just isn't how human emotions work. It's almost like telling a woman who had a miscarriage and then a successful baby that she can no longer grieve the lost child since its now in the past and now she has a child.

Edited by EllaWycliffe
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21 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Your sister sounds like a good woman with the wrong man.  Hence her unhappy personality.

Unlike your sister Amy now has a second guy nice and calm and she's on the road to the same thing with him!

She's just nasty and spiteful!

Yes, my sister is a good woman.   She was always a good woman, just beat down by staying with a jerk too long. It happens, self-esteem issues are hard to overcome.   I don't see Amy as nasty or spiteful.   She wears her feelings on her sleeve, that's for sure.  At least she lets you know her true feelings.   Living with an alcoholic, selfish cheater will do a number on anyone's head.

Edited by watcherwoman
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2 hours ago, all4mom2 said:

Matt and Amy clashed because they're both dominant personalities.  Caryn and Chris suit them because they're deferential (although I'm not sure anyone can bend over far enough to get along with Amy for long).  Caryn and Chris together would be like, "After you; no, after you!"

Besides, Caryn is too big for his tastes.

I agree, Chris likes "spinners" 

I'm thinking there's a lot of helicopter sex going on at Amy's house 

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(edited)
2 hours ago, watcherwoman said:

I wonder what Caryn's personality will be like after being with Matt for 20 years?  She gets the benefit of the doubt for being this calm supportive person after only dating Matt for a couple of years.    No kids to raise and no money issues can help anyone's relationship.  My sister married a Matt...he was always starting new projects, he put himself first all of the time, and he stopped sharing his ideas with my sister.  She became defensive, unhappy, snarky and she stopped trusting everyone.  She remarried a nice, calm normal guy and she finally is back to being the sister I remember...just very easy going.  Hoping the same for Amy.  Oh yea, my ex brother-in-law had a few DUIs, just like Matt.  That just tells me he drank many times while driving and didn't get caught.  Another reason for Amy to feel pissed at Matt.  I won't even mention screwing the hired help...lol

I laughed at the idea of the rocks at the wedding because I immediately thought about how people threw rice.  Lol, hoping people didn't get any ideas!

Did your sister marry her new, calm wonderful husband at her horrible, drunken ex’s home?

Amy picks and chooses when to be a spiteful little shit, when it benefits her she’s more than happy to risk her entire wedding by having it at Matt’s place.

Amy is so full of shit she’s turning brown!

Edited by Joan of Argh
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5 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

Amy picks and chooses when to be a spiteful little shit, when it benefits her she’s more than happy to risk her entire wedding by having it at Matt’s place.

I would say you can't have it both ways. 

If Matt's genuinely over his ex and just wants her to be happy - there should be no risk at all to the wedding since in theory, Matt's not going to pull some childish spiteful nonsense.

Isn't he over her and happy?

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If Amy had any real hardcore evidence she should have presented it.  All this hinting around and this one saw this and that one said this is a bunch of crap. I wonder if the children think he cheated with Caryn while still married to their mom?  They seem to like Caryn a lot and get along with her.  Not that it has anything to do with them, but I think if it were me, I would not embrace her like they have embraced Caryn. 

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26 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

The thing that came to mind when referring to something being "cute" was Amy's ENGAGEMENT RING!!😄

oh god the little heart shaped ring that looks like it belongs on the finger of a 12 yr old girl

Amy is very childish about a lot of things and I think it's why Chris likes her, she's tiny, she talks with a little girl voice, she likes heart shaped rocks, she has to be the center of attention, she throws tantrums like a toddler and she probably likes Chris to take her across his lap and spank her ass.... afternoon delight 😉

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2 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

If Amy had any real hardcore evidence she should have presented it.

Agree, it would make things easier certainly but...

Likewise, if Matt is perfectly innocent - why not say so?

IF Amy has left out important details, rather than just drop that comment and then say nothing, why not discuss it? If he didn't cheat why not say so?

3 minutes ago, all4mom2 said:

According to this "evidence," shouldn't Caryn be at least halfway to bitter and angry town by now?

Why? Technically as the adulterer she won the war. 

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19 minutes ago, EllaWycliffe said:

Agree, it would make things easier certainly but...

Likewise, if Matt is perfectly innocent - why not say so?

IF Amy has left out important details, rather than just drop that comment and then say nothing, why not discuss it? If he didn't cheat why not say so?

Why? Technically as the adulterer she won the war. 

Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

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Amy is the one saying that Matt and Caryn can’t be trusted, that they lie, cheat and screwed around behind her back yet she took Matt AND Caryns offer to have the most important day of her life (the way she’s acting) at Matt’s house.

Why is she risking such an important event with people that SHE says can’t be trusted?

Matt and Caryn have nothing to lose, it’s not their wedding and they’re the ones who are in complete control.

maybe she’s having it there because Matt and Caryn aren’t the drunken, horrible lying cheaters that she wants us all to believe 

Bottom line…. under NO circumstances would I have my wedding at an ex’s property that he’s sharing with the woman he supposedly cheated with behind my back….. PERIOD!

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(edited)
59 minutes ago, EllaWycliffe said:

Agree, it would make things easier certainly but...

Likewise, if Matt is perfectly innocent - why not say so?

IF Amy has left out important details, rather than just drop that comment and then say nothing, why not discuss it? If he didn't cheat why not say so?

Maybe they had a knock down drag out and all the cards were on the table.  I am sure that is something they would not  want filmed for the show.  

Edited by LucyEth
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5 hours ago, DonnaMae said:

Why would Chris and Caryn end up together?  Because they're both average-sized people?  I don't believe that will happen.

It’s a joke… it’s been suggested that Chris and Caryn are actually married grifters who will ride off into the sunset together… it’s not being taken seriously by anyone but we all like to refer to it occasionally and laugh at the thought.

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2 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

Why is she risking such an important event with people that SHE says can’t be trusted?

I think its rather obvious TLC is involved in both Matt offering and Amy accepting. 

 

3 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

Maybe they had a knock down drag out and all the cards were on the table.  I am sure that is something they would not filmed for the show.  

Since the affair has not been discussed on the show, I agree. Doesn't mean Matt can't go to the press with "I had a knock down drag out fight with Amy where I was locked and loaded and I did not cheat on Amy with Caryn"

 

1 minute ago, Joan of Argh said:

It’s a joke… it’s been suggested that Chris and Caryn are actually married grifters who will ride off into the sunset together… it’s not being taken seriously by anyone but we all like to refer to it occasionally and laugh at the thought.

I mean, wouldn't you die if this was true? ;D

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10 hours ago, EllaWycliffe said:

Why does she have to be friendly beyond being cordial in public settings to people she doesn't like? 

I mean really, there's plenty of people in my life I don't especially like but will be pleasant to. I don't feel that I need to get over myself and invite these people into my home to prove I will be friends regardless.

This! People seem to be forgetting that Matt cheated on Amy with Caryn! Why should Amy be so chummy with her?? She’s civil and that’s enough. Actually, she’s a lot nicer than I would be.

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1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Without Amy there is no show. What would we watch? Zach and Tori talking to "J" and gushing over everything he does? Matt and Caryn and their separate but together lives?  Amy is here to stay.

And you know what I find weird about this show now is the exclusion of the three other children in every possible way…it’s just bizarre. I know Jeremy, Molly and Jacob do not want to be on the show but it’s just strange that they never even mention them or the other grandchildren they have. Not even in a passing comment…it’s as if these kids and grandkids don’t exist. All in all, this show is pretty boring and so scripted now it’s just predictable. I mean how much can we watch Zach and Tori eww and ahh over Jackson? And how many sit downs with Caryn and Matt can we watch where she’s gushing over what a great and lovable guy he is and Matt is yapping about the many moods of Amy. Time to put a fork in it and call it a day.

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Message added by Mod-LunarJester,

Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

Guest

Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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