The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[Vaysh]

They try and approach life so Old School, and folks married young back in the day and kind of skipped over teenagehood. But yeesh, even Half-Pint got into plenty of shenanigans back on the prairie.

 

 

And the thing is, it's not even true Old School. Most people in the western world didn't marry that young back in the day unless they were part of an exceedingly small upper class. The average marrying age for women was early- to mid-twenties and for men mid- to late-twenties with plenty of people marrying at an even older age. And both men and women had usually spent several years working before they got married. Unless you came from a wealthy family, the idea of marrying as a teenager would be absurd because you wouldn't have any assets to start a new home with. And most cultures allow that the teenage years is a transitional age, even if they don't call it teenage years. Hell, even the Amish allows Rumspringa.

 

The Duggars and their ilk appear to live in a fantasy world, trying to emulate a past that never truly existed except for the very rich. While at the same time ignoring every bit of scientific evidence that adolescence =/= adulthood.

[Churchhoney]

A coworker of mine pastors a not quite fundie Baptist church (but going that direction more and more), and he's on the homeschool train now. He and his wife, who are actually doing real schooling and not Duggar fooling, are insistent that adolescence and teenage developmental stages are completely 20th century contrivances that are made up and not real. They think we go straight from childhood to adulthood, and all this 'teenage' bs is part of the cause of the breakdown of society. If you don't jump into immediate adult roles, you have people who never grow up, unwed parents, perpetual unemployed people, partying, drugs, alcohol, STDs, homeless, mental illness (which is all fake and in your head, unless you're stark raving mad, of course), cats and dogs living together, utter chaos, etc.

 

Have the Duggars expressed this same type of thought? it makes sense if they do, because they also seem to jump straight from childhood into marriage and parenting, with none of the teenage socialization years.

 

Oh, wow. Yeah. Come to think of it, I've heard that expressed by some people too. Don't know if the Duggars have ever said it, but it certainly fits.

[kokapetl]

A coworker of mine pastors a not quite fundie Baptist church (but going that direction more and more), and he's on the homeschool train now. He and his wife, who are actually doing real schooling and not Duggar fooling, are insistent that adolescence and teenage developmental stages are completely 20th century contrivances that are made up and not real. They think we go straight from childhood to adulthood, and all this 'teenage' bs is part of the cause of the breakdown of society. If you don't jump into immediate adult roles, you have people who never grow up, unwed parents, perpetual unemployed people, partying, drugs, alcohol, STDs, homeless, mental illness (which is all fake and in your head, unless you're stark raving mad, of course), cats and dogs living together, utter chaos, etc.

Have the Duggars expressed this same type of thought? it makes sense if they do, because they also seem to jump straight from childhood into marriage and parenting, with none of the teenage socialization years.

One of the howler twins went to a Gothard camp all about that very subject. I think it was this: Quest

"Quest helps young men reject the myth of adolescence and encourages them to choose Christ-like manliness; however, the choice alone does not in and of itself result in success. The first step to pursuing Biblical manhood is understanding there is a path that must be taken to get there. Most young men want to be like dad but they just don’t know how to get there from where they are. Quest will present a clear route that a student can follow, with help from his parents, once he returns home."

[Albanyguy]

They reject the "myth of adolescence" and send their son to Quest so he can learn to jump from childhood to "manhood", but they still expect their "adult" children to live at home, sit around all day doing nothing and be at their constant back and call.

[Buggin]

Skipping the "myth" of adolescence is what causes grown men (and women in many cases) to seek out what they feel they missed out on after they already have a spouse, children, and other adult responsibilities.

But of course who would listen to trained doctors, scientists, and other researchers to gather an understanding of human development when you can blame wrongdoings and shortcomings on the devil!

[Churchhoney]

They reject the "myth of adolescence" and send their son to Quest so he can learn to jump from childhood to "manhood", but they still expect their "adult" children to live at home, sit around all day doing nothing and be at their constant back and call.

 

Turns out the myth of adulthood is that it's a season of life meant for something other than serving Jim Bob's whims.

 

They probably sent the twin to stop-adolescence camp because he expressed a wish to remain in schooling past age 16 or something. Shut up, kid. Get in that truck and haul Jim Bob's trash to the landfill. That's what adults do.

Edited January 26, 2016 by Churchhoney

[Abstract]

Ugh, I used to buy into this somewhat, but my husband won't let go of it, he doesn't even like to use the word teenager. I don't argue with him because I figure he's going to get hit with the frying pan of reality in a few short years.

[Lemur]

One of the howler twins went to a Gothard camp all about that very subject. I think it was this: Quest

"Quest helps young men reject the myth of adolescence and encourages them to choose Christ-like manliness; however, the choice alone does not in and of itself result in success. The first step to pursuing Biblical manhood is understanding there is a path that must be taken to get there. Most young men want to be like dad but they just don’t know how to get there from where they are. Quest will present a clear route that a student can follow, with help from his parents, once he returns home."

 

Maybe Jim Bob should attend so he can learn to stop infantilizing his children.  I understand the concept behind this, if you look at the Victorian Era, children were put to work young, and young men were expected to be contributing members of the household or out of the household entirely (serving an apprenticeship, serving as a cadet/midshipman or enlisted).  The problem is that JB ain't sending these boys out into the world.  They can't become adults because he refuses to cut the headship strings.  He refuses to get them the education to become anything more than his cronies.  As for the girls, I think "Waiting for Prince Charming" says it all.  

Edited January 26, 2016 by Lemur

[Aja]

One of the howler twins went to a Gothard camp all about that very subject. I think it was this: Quest

"Quest helps young men reject the myth of adolescence and encourages them to choose Christ-like manliness; however, the choice alone does not in and of itself result in success. The first step to pursuing Biblical manhood is understanding there is a path that must be taken to get there. Most young men want to be like dad but they just don’t know how to get there from where they are. Quest will present a clear route that a student can follow, with help from his parents, once he returns home."

Now THAT is a fun website! Under the FAQ:

"Are there any scholarships?

We do not offer any scholarships, instead we encourage young men and their parents to pray for God’s provision to allow them to attend. This creates an exciting opportunity to exercise faith and see God’s hand in their lives."

[Lemur]

Now THAT is a fun website! Under the FAQ:

"Are there any scholarships?

We do not offer any scholarships, instead we encourage young men and their parents to pray for God’s provision to allow them to attend. This creates an exciting opportunity to exercise faith and see God’s hand in their lives."

 

There's that good ol' Christian Charity for ya.  

 

"Pray for God's provision" has entered my lexicon along with "purposing to".

[Tabbygirl521]

There's that good ol' Christian Charity for ya.

"Pray for God's provision" has entered my lexicon along with "purposing to".

So much easier than getting a job and earning your own tuition. Stay childlike! Then come and learn to be an adult

[Gardencrown]

 

One of the howler twins went to a Gothard camp all about that very subject. I think it was this: Quest

"Quest helps young men reject the myth of adolescence and encourages them to choose Christ-like manliness; however, the choice alone does not in and of itself result in success. The first step to pursuing Biblical manhood is understanding there is a path that must be taken to get there. Most young men want to be like dad but they just don’t know how to get there from where they are. Quest will present a clear route that a student can follow, with help from his parents, once he returns home."

Oh, good heavens! As the parent of twin fifteen year old boys, I can say that this perspective cannot be further from reality. My guys (both of whom are Christians and are very serious about their faith) are right in the middle of the very normal process of adolescence, which is quite real. Puberty? Pretty damned real too. They're not adults yet -- not physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually...it's fraught, and it's full of push and pull, dissonance and challenge...they both admire their father in many ways, but in many ways they push against him because they're each trying to establish their own identity. And that's the way it should be -- in fact, I would argue that trying to tamp down this (did I mention -- very normal??:) process would be stultifying and would ultimately produce incredibly stunted "adults." Look at the Duggar kids -- they're not adults per se, but programmed robots with practically no personal identity...that's what just kills me about this Gothard bullshit. It's not really about producing "Christ-like manliness" but about producing people who can't think for themselves or make decisions about how they want their lives to be...this is gross and so incredibly...wrong...that's not even a strong enough word, really. I look at Jana or Jinger or Josiah -- I don't see adults, I see weary, sad, trapped kids.

 

Okay, edited to add (I walked away from the computer, but this whole thing makes me so steamed that I thought of something else): How convenient this whole concept is for the parents too. Not only do we see JB and Michelle not doing the heavy lifting of parenting with their little ones (as they pass each one on to a sister mom) -- now it appears that they get out of the mammoth parenting task of helping one's kids become adults. No need to come alongside your child who is struggling in school (hah!) or is having problems with a friend. No need to stay up till 1:00 am -- because this is when all adolescents want to talk:) -- trying to gently help your kid see some situation in a new way. Nope, since adolescence is a myth -- the parents can skip right over the heart-breaking, worrying, and also, frankly, AWESOME job of helping kids navigate their ways to adulthood. Gah, these people!!!

Edited January 26, 2016 by Gardencrown

[GeeGolly]

Skipping the "myth" of adolescence is what causes grown men (and women in many cases) to seek out what they feel they missed out on after they already have a spouse, children, and other adult responsibilities.

But of course who would listen to trained doctors, scientists, and other researchers to gather an understanding of human development when you can blame wrongdoings and shortcomings on the devil!

And these are the reasons the Duggars want their kids to "skip" adolescence. Critical thinking and becoming an individual are dangerous in their world.

 

Lawrence Kohlberg

The final 'postconventional' level describes people whose view of morality transcend what the rules or laws say. Instead of just following rules without questioning them, 'postconventional' stage people determine what is moral based on a set of values or beliefs they think are right all the time. For example, during the Vietnam War, many Americans who were drafted to be soldiers opposed the war on moral grounds and fled to Canada rather than fight. Even though this behavior was against the law, these people decided that these particular laws did not follow the higher rules they believed in, and they chose to follow their higher rules instead of the law.

 

Jean Piaget

Finally, during the formal operational stage, which often lasts from age eleven on, adolescents learn how to think more abstractly to solve problems and to think symbolically, e.g., about things that aren't really there concretely in front of them.

 

Erik Erikson

5. Identity vs. Role Confusion

During adolescence (age 12 to 18 yrs), the transition from childhood to adulthood is most important. Children are becoming more independent, and begin to look at the future in terms of career, relationships, families, housing, etc. The individual wants to belong to a society and fit in.

This is a major stage in development where the child has to learn the roles he will occupy as an adult. It is during this stage that the adolescent will re-examine his identity and try to find out exactly who he or she is. Erikson suggests that two identities are involved: the sexual and the occupational.

[LilyoftheValley]

It would be hilarious if the Duggars subscribed to the straight from childhood to adulthood idea of child-rearing.  Those kids have the longest adolescence of any kids I have ever seen.  

 

They share a room with their siblings and get a sundae from their parents for their 23rd birthday.  They have the exact same lifestyle at 25 as they do at 5.   

[Gweilo]

...Except for the molestation!

[Churchhoney]

Oh, good heavens! As the parent of twin fifteen year old boys, I can say that this perspective cannot be further from reality. My guys (both of whom are Christians and are very serious about their faith) are right in the middle of the very normal process of adolescence, which is quite real. Puberty? Pretty damned real too. They're not adults yet -- not physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually...it's fraught, and it's full of push and pull, dissonance and challenge...they both admire their father in many ways, but in many ways they push against him because they're each trying to establish their own identity. And that's the way it should be -- in fact, I would argue that trying to tamp down this (did I mention -- very normal??:) process would be stultifying and would ultimately produce incredibly stunted "adults." Look at the Duggar kids -- they're not adults per se, but programmed robots with practically no personal identity...that's what just kills me about this Gothard bullshit. It's not really about producing "Christ-like manliness" but about producing people who can't think for themselves or make decisions about how they want their lives to be...this is gross and so incredibly...wrong...that's not even a strong enough word, really. I look at Jana or Jinger or Josiah -- I don't see adults, I see weary, sad, trapped kids.

 

Okay, edited to add (I walked away from the computer, but this whole thing makes me so steamed that I thought of something else): How convenient this whole concept is for the parents too. Not only do we see JB and Michelle not doing the heavy lifting of parenting with their little ones (as they pass each one on to a sister mom) -- now it appears that they get out of the mammoth parenting task of helping one's kids become adults. No need to come alongside your child who is struggling in school (hah!) or is having problems with a friend. No need to stay up till 1:00 am -- because this is when all adolescents want to talk:) -- trying to gently help your kid see some situation in a new way. Nope, since adolescence is a myth -- the parents can skip right over the heart-breaking, worrying, and also, frankly, AWESOME job of helping kids navigate their ways to adulthood. Gah, these people!!!

 

Amen about a thousand times to this.

 

And furthermore they act this way while refusing to send the kids to school or church or anything except some Gothard activities, so the kids are deprived of other people in their lives who could help them through the various rough or confusing kid-times as well. They make a huge show of being all-sufficient when it comes to raising and teaching and mentoring their kids when in fact they do virtually nothing to raise and teach and mentor their kids.

[Sew Sumi]

I don't remember where I read it (maybe Vision Forum stuff?), but these people sincerely believe that a child is a net-gain asset to a family at age 12. It broke down something like <8, no gain, 8-11, 50%, 12 and over, they should be making money for whatever fundie enterprise one's family has purposed to do to survive without having to deal with the real world. Doug Phillips raised a couple pompous as hell sons who think they have law degrees. Boob raises boys who are by now all general contractors by the time they're 14. 

 

I still don't see how Josiah fits in here; he has never struck me as the mechanical/builder/hands-on type. Same goes for Smuggar, which is why he was gifted a car lot with JD as head mechanic. Joe seems to fit into the script Boob has laid out quite nicely, in spite of his extra bible time and rote memorization skills (also part of ALERT's curriculum. I forget which book Joe memorized, but he apparently did it).

[Churchhoney]

I don't remember where I read it (maybe Vision Forum stuff?), but these people sincerely believe that a child is a net-gain asset to a family at age 12. It broke down something like <8, no gain, 8-11, 50%, 12 and over, they should be making money for whatever fundie enterprise one's family has

purposed to do to survive without having to deal with the real world.

 

 

I guess they kind of have to think this. Not much alternative when you purpose to have kids into the double digits while doing business only with other double-digiting families. When your entire economy is poor with a billion under-age-12 dependents each you have to have the entire clan bringing in bacon. Either that or -- Get Another TV Show.

[FaithfullyYours]

Jana sighting! She was on the latest episode of Bringing Up Bates. I'm not sure if she's one of Michael's bridesmaids. She was in attendance at the candle making party. I didn't see any of the other J'slaves. I hope this means she got to travel on her own.

[kokapetl]

Candle making party? Outrageous!

[RazzleberryPie]

Candle making party? Outrageous!

Michelle warned us: Jana always was a troublemaker! For SHAME.

[Sew Sumi]

Yes, Jana was a bridesmaid.

[riverblue22]

Jana looked like she was trying to avoid the cameras.

Edited January 28, 2016 by riverblue22

[Guest]

Jana looked like she was trying to avoid the cameras.

 

I wish that we could've seen the look on Jana's face when the Bates girls started joking about "the big shebang" (a.k.a. the wedding night) at the candle party. LOL!

[Sew Sumi]

You would NEVER hear the Duggar girls talking like the Bates girls did. Probably not even in private; they are so, so sexually repressed. Jana would have likely have been even more horrified than Michael, who looked pretty shocked in that clip. 

[RazzleberryPie]

At this point, with all they heyheyhey *nudge nudge, wink wink* talk since Josh started courting through Jill and Jessa, Jana has heard so much wedding night talk, that her eyes glaze over and she heaves a big ole sigh. (Fully admitting I haven't seen the Bates episode)

[tabloidlover]

I wish that we could've seen the look on Jana's face when the Bates girls started joking about "the big shebang" (a.k.a. the wedding night) at the candle party. LOL!

I have read that back in the olden times (prior to 20th century) that women were not talked to about "the big shebang" until the night before their wedding.  Not sure how true this is, but I cannot help but wonder if the unmarrieds even know what happens or what to expect.  Does anyone have insight?

[LilyoftheValley]

I have read that back in the olden times (prior to 20th century) that women were not talked to about "the big shebang" until the night before their wedding.  Not sure how true this is, but I cannot help but wonder if the unmarrieds even know what happens or what to expect.  Does anyone have insight?

 

I know that when people found out that Henry VIII fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, knew almost nothing about sex, that her contemporaries were completely shocked.  At least in the 16th century in England, it was not considered normal to "send a girl to sea without her biscuit".  Basically, girls got some sex education to prepare them for marriage (Anne of Cleves aside).  Oh yeah, and Duggar-dolts, these people were but two generations removed from your beloved King James. 

 

Also, one thing people forget is that children and adults all slept in the same room a lot of the time, so it is doubtful that kids knew nothing about sex until someone explained it them.  Even Sir Thomas Moore's daughters slept in a trundle bed in their parents room until they got married, and Thomas Moore was not a poor man.  

 

I cannot emphasize enough how the Duggars are nostalgic for a time that never was.  There was never a time of sexual innocence in the past.  People knew what sex was before they got married.  Perhaps the only people to ever come close to such repression were the Puritans, and the normal English people thought they were daft enough to banish them the Holland, and the Dutch thought they were daft enough to banish them to America.  

[Sew Sumi]

Oh, I don't mean that the Duggar girls don't know the mechanics of the sex act. As duly noted, they were raised with HeyHeyHey and JoyfullyAvailable as their parents. They charted Mechelle's cycles for crying out loud! I just don't think they talk about it amongst themselves, like giggling schoolgirls at a slumber party. I just can't see that vibe amongst the Duggar girls. 

[LilyoftheValley]

Oh, I don't mean that the Duggar girls don't know the mechanics of the sex act. As duly noted, they were raised with HeyHeyHey and JoyfullyAvailable as their parents. They charted Mechelle's cycles for crying out loud! I just don't think they talk about it amongst themselves, like giggling schoolgirls at a slumber party. I just can't see that vibe amongst the Duggar girls. 

Yeah one of them would snitch. 

[BitterApple]

Yeah one of them would snitch.

And we all know who the snitch would be. Totally.

[Kellyee]

Is Jana basically Jessa's nanny? When we see a few pictures of the girls, Jana is always holding Jessa's baby. At least Anna always seemed to be taking care of her own kids. I really wonder how Jana feels about her day-to-day life. If she wasn't a fundie Christian, she would be on Dr. Phil hearing about how she needs to get a job, a purpose, and her own apartment.

 

I guess my main question for all the girls over 18 and single is: What the hell are they doing all day?????

[MarysWetBar]

Candle making party? Outrageous!

My twisted mind created a scenario where the lights are low and the Righteous Brothers are playing, while identical fundy women erotically massage wax between their fingers into phallic shaped candles.

Gothard creaks into place behind them ala Swayze and wheezily whispers in their ears to "slip those flip flops off."

Fade to black.

ETA: Black = Hell.

[CofCinci]

Is Jana basically Jessa's nanny? When we see a few pictures of the girls, Jana is always holding Jessa's baby. At least Anna always seemed to be taking care of her own kids. I really wonder how Jana feels about her day-to-day life. If she wasn't a fundie Christian, she would be on Dr. Phil hearing about how she needs to get a job, a purpose, and her own apartment.

Jana doesn't know how to exist without caring for someone's child.

I guess my main question for all the girls over 18 and single is: What the hell are they doing all day?????

They spend the day raising the younger children, tanning and doing their hair/makeup. Their countenance and ability to care for children is the only value women hold on their subculture. Edited January 28, 2016 by CofCinci

[Barb23]

Is Jana basically Jessa's nanny? When we see a few pictures of the girls, Jana is always holding Jessa's baby. At least Anna always seemed to be taking care of her own kids. I really wonder how Jana feels about her day-to-day life. If she wasn't a fundie Christian, she would be on Dr. Phil hearing about how she needs to get a job, a purpose, and her own apartment.

 

I guess my main question for all the girls over 18 and single is: What the hell are they doing all day?????

One of the greatest questions of all mankind.

I would hope that if they had been allowed to have further education, friends & a job, they wouldn't end up on Dr Phil. But I would love to see Dr Phil tackle JB & MEchelle getting to the nitty gritty of things.

[DangerousMinds]

Is Jana basically Jessa's nanny? When we see a few pictures of the girls, Jana is always holding Jessa's baby. At least Anna always seemed to be taking care of her own kids. I really wonder how Jana feels about her day-to-day life. If she wasn't a fundie Christian, she would be on Dr. Phil hearing about how she needs to get a job, a purpose, and her own apartment.

 

I guess my main question for all the girls over 18 and single is: What the hell are they doing all day?????

Wasn't Jana also in DC a lot helping Anna with the kids?

[JoanArc]

This reads like speculation: http://www.inquisitr.com/2745632/jana-duggars-love-life-to-be-focus-of-first-episode-of-duggars-revived-tv-series/

 

 

Production sources have reportedly revealed that Jana Duggar will “delve into her feelings about still being single while her younger sisters are getting married and starting families” during the first new episode of 19 Kids and Counting.

[Barb23]

This reads like speculation: http://www.inquisitr.com/2745632/jana-duggars-love-life-to-be-focus-of-first-episode-of-duggars-revived-tv-series/

Like the inside source said, we'll probably hear the same old lines from Jana. Nothing new.

[barbedwire]

She will spill her "gothard approved" feelings.  Just like they had to correct Jinger and tell us all what she really meant when she said she wanted to live in a big city.

[BitterApple]

Anna uses Jana just as much as Jessa does.

[Kellyee]

 

Production sources have reportedly revealed that Jana Duggar will “delve into her feelings about still being single while her younger sisters are getting married and starting families” during the first new episode of 19 Kids and Counting.

 

Jana and John David still being single makes no real sense when you think about how these Duggar marriages operate. They seem to be mostly arranged marriages. So either Jana and John David are ditching marriage, or their parents are keeping them single. Otherwise, they would have handed them off to a spouse by now. They know enough other fundies with kids in the same age range. And it seems like a huge sin for a woman Jana's age to be single in their religion, so I would think they would have forced her to settle for someone by now. Most of the other fundie Christians are married by 24 at the very latest.

[MargeGunderson]

Jana and John David still being single makes no real sense when you think about how these Duggar marriages operate. They seem to be mostly arranged marriages. So either Jana and John David are ditching marriage, or their parents are keeping them single. Otherwise, they would have handed them off to a spouse by now. They know enough other fundies with kids in the same age range. And it seems like a huge sin for a woman Jana's age to be single in their religion, so I would think they would have forced her to settle for someone by now. Most of the other fundie Christians are married by 24 at the very latest.

 

Or the most useful kids are being kept home/close to home on purpose? What would Michelle/Jessa/Anna do without Jana? If Jana got married she wouldn't be able to be their go-to girl. It would be interesting to look at similar fundie families for stay-at-home children. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of families have a spinster daughter who's passed around to help out everyone else, and will be responsible for the parents in their old age.

Edited January 28, 2016 by MargeGunderson

[kokapetl]

Derick was probably a fluke, but I think Jana and Jill probably both got the offer. Jana would've hesitated to commit, while Jill went all in. I think Jana would've said no to Derick even if Jill wasn't a factor, she still would've basically been committing herself to marrying him, but hindsight being what it is, she might look at Derick and Jill now and regret turning him down. I think men have and continue to express interest in Jana, but are there any compatible men applying? Do they get through the screening? Is Jana willing to take a risk?

John-David seems to not really be involved enough in the system for him to find a wife that way, it's a weird pseudo chivalry set up that puts a lot of the onus on him as well.

[BitterApple]

Even though Jill and Jessa are married, they didn't exactly strike gold in the husband department. The upside for them is it got them out of the house and into some semblance of a quasi-adult life.

As for Jana, the Duggar name is the equivalent of the bubonic plague right now. I can't imagine any decent guy is tripping over himself to date her. Yeah, a lot of Fundie girls are horsey looking, but there's plenty of attractive women as well, and they don't come from families that harbored a child molester for twenty years. Neither JD or Jana is really a catch at this point.

[bigskygirl]

To be honest about it, I do not think Derick is much of a catch. Jana may be happy about not being married, having a kid so fast, and pretending to be a happy, loving couple 24/7.

[kokapetl]

Derick is a catch if you take into consideration that he has a professional qualification, mother with money, and exposure to the real world. I think Derick and Jill are both eager to make things work as well. They've had a few problems, they barely knew each other when they got married, and Jill was unable to cope wifh Derick working 9-5, but I bet Jill's revived interest in midwifery is a result of Derick's suggestion that she should get a job or hobby. They know each other now, and I think it will last. Ben and Jessa are both just dolts.

[leighdear]

For no discernible reason, I actually think John-David would be a "make me a sandwich, keep the kids out of my hair and do whatever you want" kind of fundi-husband, and in a kindly way.  He doesn't preach anything, he seems to loathe the cameras and performs actual work.  I even think he's pleasant looking, in bit of a neanderthal way. 

 

To me, that would make him a bit of a catch.  I can't see him Instagramming marked-up bible pages, but I can see him sharing photos of him fishing with his kids. No Tweets about the hell-bound heathens that surround him, but maybe a good YELP review of a decent oil change place.

 

I have no concrete reason why I think these things about JD, I just do.  *LOL* 

Edited January 28, 2016 by leighdear

[kokapetl]

I think he'd like a particularly non fame whorish wife, but also a traditional division of labor and probably nothing approaching 19 kids.

[laurakaye]

Or the most useful kids are being kept home/close to home on purpose? What would Michelle/Jessa/Anna do without Jana? If Jana got married she wouldn't be able to be their go-to girl. It would be interesting to look at similar fundie families for stay-at-home children. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of families have a spinster daughter who's passed around to help out everyone else, and will be responsible for the parents in their old age.

It's like a Jane Austen novel, but the Fundie version -- which is 10,000 times more depressing.

[bigskygirl]

Derick may have been out in the real world, but he has been "Duggarized" to the point where he does not know his own head from a hole in the ground. Jill cannot spend five minutes without him, and he is being smothered by Jill and the in-laws. Jill probably kept on with the midwife program because she knew she was moving to another country and to shut up the Duggar naysayers. She is not a successful one and is probably using her education to turn heathens onto her way of religious thinking. Derick might be at the point of being stressed out from getting married so quickly, having a kid so fast, having two in-laws scandals which included finding out his brother-in-law inappropriately touched his wife and the crappy way Ma and Pa Duggar "corrected" the problem, leaving or probably getting fired from his job, and having a seriously ill mother. To be honest about, I see Derick looking and reacting like Josh did when the kids started coming and the fear of raising a family and getting married too quickly. Will they make it. Maybe in their world, but in the real world, they are a couple of newborn guppies in a tank full of sharks. Of course, in the real world, they would have dated longer, dated other people before meeting each other, Jill would have not been so eager to latch on to the first guy who paid attention to her, and she would have been an independent young woman who did not have to depend on her father or a man in order to be her own person.