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The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah


Message added by Scarlett45,

Discussing the charges against Jana is fine, but do not post any information that reveals her address/contact information- even if said documents are public (i.e. a part of court proceedings.)

Discussing charges against Jana is NOT a jumping off point to speculate on other instances abuse/neglect etc towards the M-children or to elaborate on Josh's conviction and potential victims.  

 

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There's a lot of truth to this. I was an only child, and not by my parents' choice (Mom couldn't carry a full pregnancy, it seemed ...this was 50+ years ago...so my twin sister and I were born 2 months premature, with only one of us surviving, then she had a baby boy when I was 4 who was 3 months premature and did not survive either). At any rate, you can imagine that I grew up pretty much wrapped in cotton balls and bubble wrap (if it had been invented back then! lol)

 

When I got married, I thought the most blissful career a woman could have would be to take care of a house and babies. I was a very introverted, bookish child who wanted nothing more from life than music to listen to and, later, reading and drawing materials. I don't suppose I was too much of a challenge other than Mom's worrying over my lack of friends. One was always enough. I suppose, in retrospect, that a bit of energy and ambition might have been positives, but I was never particularly blessed (or cursed) with either.

 

I'd never had a whole lot of experience with babies until I got married, though, and never realized until I had my second (whose temperament was a bit more like mine than my husband's) that babies did not automatically wake up screaming bloody murder every morning and were only happy being held as long as the person holding them was also walking from room to room, thus effecting a change of scenery. Until my daughter was born I had no idea that a baby was capable of waking up and cooing to itself until someone came to pick it up. The third child was an institution unto himself, and seemed, at first, somewhere between the two, until his personality developed and he showed himself to be, rather than a point between the two on a continuum, to be somewhere totally off in another direction. I can't imagine three kids more different from each other except when I stop to think that every child ever born is probably on just that individual a plane all to themselves. 

 

Anyway, point being that I always thought that raising kids would be, somehow, the most organic, and, yes, in some ways the easiest possible future. But 30 years later, and 5 years after the last of them has set out on his own, I find myself not only feeling as though I never took the whole job quite as seriously as I might have, (even though they have all become amazing people)  but  also unprepared for anything else.

 

 

 

  • Love 4
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My take on Jana and Michelle, is that Michelle has never like Jana. Michelle was doted upon for her entire life, then had Josh and twins (Jana and John David), and became overwhelmed. Then she had Jill, Jessa and Jinger very quickly. She says Jana was 'high spirited', but all we've ever seen of Jana is very introverted, calm, responsible, etc. Of all the kids who could be called high spirited, Jana is not one.

I think Michelle was overwhelmed, didn't have much help, and as the youngest of her own family, really, really resented how much work all those kids area, and she took it out on Jana. I have a cousin who was an only child, and when she had kids, was always lamenting about how energetic and difficult they were, that they never gave her rest and were so hard to handle. Truth is, they weren't very active or wild kids; she just had never not been the center of attention who could do as she pleased, so she couldn't comprehend why they didn't want to sleep until 9 or 10, sit and coo, then go to bed at 7.

Jana is a girl, and boys can never do wrong, so she was 'high spirited.' Also, there may have been some subconscious resentment from Michelle that another girl might be getting some of her attention, so she disliked Jana even more. To top it off, when the went Full Gothard Fundie, Michelle had to pray to have a heart for children, but Jana just does, naturally. She's very good at the whole Susie Homemaker sewing/cleaning/diapering/cooking business, and instead of thinking this is a good thing for the eldest daughter of a brood, Michelle resented that, too. Jana is everything Michelle had to pray to be, and she hates her for it.

I think this is very, very insightful.

I have little to add except that Michelle was also increasingly reliant on Jana. Had Jana actually been a high spirited, rebellious child, she would have actually justified Michelle and Michelle would probably have liked her more, oddly enough.

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Don't be fooled when any Duggar is smiling. They have been taught, perhaps even hit, if they are among the older children, if they didn't smile. They were taught to smile when they were MOST unhappy.

"Not so much a smile, really, but a fearful baring of the teeth"

  • Love 5
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Jana also used to be JimBob's favorite child when she was a little one (or possibly her and Jill), and I think Michelle resented the hell out of her for taking some of JimBob's attention off of her. 

 

When JimBob mentioned being so happy that Hannie looked like Jana because he and Jana were so close when she was little and it brought good memories, I had to wonder - do they also insist on separation from the opposite-sex parent once they hit puberty?  Joy spent a good chunk of time as JimBob's favorite, and suddenly they're never seen together.  Or did something happen to drive a wedge between them at some point?  Both JimBob and Joy and JimBob and Jana.

Edited by WTFFF
  • Love 1
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I was watching a rerun (yes; guilty); the one in which Michelle and JB announce the Jubilee pregnancy...  In the BIG REVEAL photos, Jana can be seen smiling joyously (Joyless Anna, not so much)...  In the TH afterwards, she seems completely genuinely thrilled about the news...

 

Josiah looked like he was about to be sick or pass out and quickly vanished from the scene, but Jana looked as pleased as punch!

 

Not EVERY woman is a seething mass of desires.  I would venture to say that many women - myself included - aren't unduly bothered by such urges without a specific love object in mind (that is, unless and until there's a particular man for whom she has feelings in the picture).  There is even such a thing as a vocation or religious life.  Perhaps Jana actually HAS "a servant's heart" and finds meaning and fulfillment in this role?  Jessa, not so much...

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I honestly don't know what to make of Jana and Jessa. I'm not sure if they really are who they show to the world or who they are described to be, or if they someone else altogether. Or some combination of all three. There is real ambivalence in their lives that is missing in the other older Duggar children, which makes it difficult to really know who or what they want. I don't think they know which is ok in secular young adults their age, but must be difficult for them personally.

  • Love 2
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I am on a never-ending roller coaster of thinking when it comes to Jana, and all of the kids, actually. Specifically Jana, though, is a full-fledged adult. She must understand that her life is her own and she's been exposed to enough of the world to know that she doesn't have to live under anyone's authority. I know that Mullet and Boob are holding her siblings as ransom against any sort of break she might make, but does she really believe that losing them is worth giving up her own life or that losing people that would shun her isn't worth it? I don't believe that she is so sheltered that she can't see that she has options, even though I'm sure she feels threatened by Mullet and Boob. I'm very torn between feeling sympathetic and feeling impatient with her.

  • Love 4
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Sometimes I wonder if Jana is deliberately choosing to stay home and raise her siblings for a few more years. This is pure speculation on my part, of course.  But she knows how completely detached her parents are these days. Last season one of the older girls described Jim and Michelle as being more like grandparents then real parents - I don't remember which one of them said it. Jana probably got the best education of the girls, since she was the first. She certainly got the most of her mothers attention, way back when - of course that wasn't necessarily a good thing. I think Jana knows her parents went over board, it's pretty obvious no ones blanket trained the younger kids.  Maybe she thinks she should stick around for a few more years, and make sure the younger kids learn how to read and her parents don't freak out at them... She clearly loves them.  I can easily turn her into a gothic/romantic heroine " postponing marriage for the love of younger siblings!"  But again, I'm just speculating...

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It may also be that she fully intends to practice her parents' form of religion and the longer she waits, the fewer children she herself will have. Yes, she raising her siblings, but there has been no physical toll on her body.

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Does anyone think that Jana may be home for another 5 years? If so, she'll be almost 30. The thought of that really makes me sad. But by that time, nobody should need a "buddy" anymore. Jim Bob will have to be trying to figure out careers for all of his sons, all of whom will be teens at that point. 

I have noticed that both Jenny and Jordyn were 6 when their sister-moms got married. Josie will be 6 in a little over a year from now. Could the age of the little girls have something to do with the fact that the Duggars kept their older girls home longer than anyone expected them to be there, considering how Michelle was married at age 17?

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This show is amazing birth control.  If I were in a relationship with someone with a penis, I think it would destroy my sex life on the off chance I could end up with a brood of Howlers. 

  • Love 8
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I can't stand watching JB grab Michelle's hips and pull her towards him and then go in for a kiss with lips together and do they have to kiss about absolutely everything?!?  Waste of air time! 

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joanofarch4, on 24 Oct 2014 - 08:36 AM, said:

I'm simply saying that she could be absolutely mainstream sexually and just CHOOSING to devote herself to raising her siblings for the next few years.

 

I sometimes wonder if Jana has decided to devote her life to raising her siblings because she knows Michelle is unloving and useless and Boob is hopeless.

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I think Jana may be embarrassed by her parents. It can't have been easy watching your mother pregnant for 14, 15, 16, 17, etc times. I also thought that her twin  JD felt the same way, and attributed his awkwardness between that and not liking to be on camera.(I'm the first to get mad at others putting pics of me  on fb that I have no control over, imagine being forced to film and not liking how you come across)

 

I have the feeling that I'm seeing some quiet rebelliousness from Jana in the only way she knows how: praying, more praying, then shipped off to journey to the hart, where she gave 110% and became a counselor.

 

We also saw Josiah punished when he showed emotion other than extreme joy in Michelles pregnancy announcement  with Jubilee. In my opinion he was one of the few to see the stupidity of his parents actions.(He bolts and Jana says"Josiah, don't cry"... or similar, not positive)   He almost lost both his mother and sister Josie during her premature birth, and panicked for her health. Its one of the tiny glimpses we've seen that not all the Duggar kids are onboard the crazy train. The parents would rather go to their graves than admit it, though. I think Jana sees all this, doesn't agree with her parents, filming showing perfection where there is none, and is having a hard time with it. All in my own opinion, I could be totally wrong, but I wouldn't have an easy time of it.

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I think Jana may be embarrassed by her parents. It can't have been easy watching your mother pregnant for 14, 15, 16, 17, etc times. I also thought that her twin  JD felt the same way, and attributed his awkwardness between that and not liking to be on camera.(I'm the first to get mad at others putting pics of me  on fb that I have no control over, imagine being forced to film and not liking how you come across)

 

I have the feeling that I'm seeing some quiet rebelliousness from Jana in the only way she knows how: praying, more praying, then shipped off to journey to the hart, where she gave 110% and became a counselor.

 

We also saw Josiah punished when he showed emotion other than extreme joy in Michelles pregnancy announcement  with Jubilee. In my opinion he was one of the few to see the stupidity of his parents actions.(He bolts and Jana says"Josiah, don't cry"... or similar, not positive)   He almost lost both his mother and sister Josie during her premature birth, and panicked for her health. Its one of the tiny glimpses we've seen that not all the Duggar kids are onboard the crazy train. The parents would rather go to their graves than admit it, though. I think Jana sees all this, doesn't agree with her parents, filming showing perfection where there is none, and is having a hard time with it. All in my own opinion, I could be totally wrong, but I wouldn't have an easy time of it.

Is there a clip of that? Or can you tell me what episode it was? I've seen that incident referenced on the boards a few times but never saw the video of it.

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This show is amazing birth control. If I were in a relationship with someone with a penis, I think it would destroy my sex life on the off chance I could end up with a brood of Howlers.

Hahaha. Omg. It makes me not want to have anymore kids

I don't feel bad for Michelle who would feel bad for her. I feel bad for Jana

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Also, I just wanted to add, that I don't watch Netflix, so I cannot say if that is  the correct episode or not. I just cannot find anymore working links on it, which does say something, doesn't it? ;-)

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Even if Jana doesn't like the lifestyle, it could be more than just the kids keeping her there. Even if she "thinks" she disagrees with her parents, what if she's wrong?  Will she end up in hell for rebellion?  

 

Financially, I'm sure she could make enough to be absolutely fine by doing a tell-all book, interview, or both. But that might not be enough for someone who is looking at losing her family, kids she helped raise, and possibly her salvation (from her possible perspective).  Fear is a huge motivator in the fundie set.

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I'm a writer, with some publishing ties, so I can make an educated guess and say, she could get $100,000 for a tell all.  15% would go to an agent, and taxes, as a self-employed person would take an enormous chunk.  This would leave her with maybe $50-60,000 from a book that I'm assuming would hit the best-seller list for a week or two, which is a big if, and I'm assuming a pretty big advance number these days.  There would be some paid interviews, and some PEOPLE write ups, but most appearances are NOT paid, contrary to popular belief (such as on the TODAY show, FOX AND FRIENDS, etc.)  That's not enough to live off of it long-term.

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Is there a clip of that? Or can you tell me what episode it was? I've seen that incident referenced on the boards a few times but never saw the video of it.

It's very hard to find a clip of that episode, and I believe when TLC aired the repeat, it was heavily edited. When Boob announced Michelle was pregnant with #20, Josiah bolts from the scene and Jana, clear as day, says "Josiah don't cry." In the next shot, Josiah is back, his eyes are red and swollen and Boob has a death grip on his shoulder, almost like they forcibly dragged the kid back into the group. It was pretty obvious what went down, I don't think there was a lot of loose interpretation from the internet critics.

Edited by BitterApple
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Jana is turning 25 soon. People are starting to question JB and why isn't she married or courting. I suspect he might pressure Jana to consider courting for the show.

Jana had the spirit beat out of her from a young age. I can't see her leaving because that means shunning. Unless she does it in front of the show in which the Duggar fans would shame and call put her parents for shunning her. Her whole life has been raising kids and putting everyone else's needs before her own. Any sign of rebellion it's off to journey for reprogramming. I hope Jana can find a good guy and not have a lot of kids if she wants that. I hope she can live her own life

Edited by Darknight
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Poor Jana! I don't blame her for not wanting to marry and start a family ( if that's the case). She's been raising kids, cooking and cleaning for years! She needs a break. No wonder she does all the Journey to the Heart and mission trips! She needs to get away!

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Poor Jana! I don't blame her for not wanting to marry and start a family ( if that's the case). She's been raising kids, cooking and cleaning for years! She needs a break. No wonder she does all the Journey to the Heart and mission trips! She needs to get away!

You know your life really sucks donkey balls when 99.9% of the internet comments written about you are prefaced with "Poor Jana." 

 

I hope Jana meets someone through Josh and Anna. There's tons of rich conservative Christians in Virginia who could give Jana a nice life. She'd still be close to family, but far from the clutches of Boob and Michelle.

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I was watching one of the old episodes and the older girls are talking about boys. (Was this the TFDW and Priss wedding ep?) They were asked if anyone was courting. Pause, everyone looks at Jana, someone even asks, "Jana?", and Jana says no.

 

It occurred to me that (while there may well have been someone in whom she had been interested who was rejected by Boob) Daddy Dearest had chosen someone for her and SHE had rejected his choice. Boob takes umbrage and moves Jana to the bottom of the list for courtships. Jana goes to JOTH to repent. To me it explains Jana's resigned sadness and her parents' almost dismissal of her unless something needs done.

 

Pure speculation. Too much time on my hands.

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I was watching one of the old episodes and the older girls are talking about boys. (Was this the TFDW and Priss wedding ep?) They were asked if anyone was courting. Pause, everyone looks at Jana, someone even asks, "Jana?", and Jana says no.

 

It occurred to me that (while there may well have been someone in whom she had been interested who was rejected by Boob) Daddy Dearest had chosen someone for her and SHE had rejected his choice. Boob takes umbrage and moves Jana to the bottom of the list for courtships. Jana goes to JOTH to repent. To me it explains Jana's resigned sadness and her parents' almost dismissal of her unless something needs done.

 

Pure speculation. Too much time on my hands.

I've thought the same thing or at least some variation of that scenario.

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It does seem as though there was SOMETHING going on in there at some point.  Whether it was Jana's initiative or Jim Bob's, it's pretty clear it didn't end well.  And it is quite possible that she willingly went to Journey of the Heart not to repent, but to be away from her family and be able to be as emotional as she wanted and could claim it was for "spiritual reasons" and not have people asking her every two minutes if she was all right or telling her that she was better off.  I would totally understand that and quite possibly would have done something similar.

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Adding to to that speculation, I'd suggest that when Jana said she was struggling to feel love for someone in her family it was Michelle she was referring to. 

I thought being made to chaperone Jill's midwife training by being a doula might have had something to do with it too. Jill was getting what she wanted but it didn't seem to be Jana's calling and big surprise she doesn't seem to be doing it anymore. Then there's Jessa and her best buddy Jinger with leaves Jana seemingly lonely and by herself as far as friends goes.

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I actually don't think that Jana's terribly unhappy, and I really do wonder how much she wants a family, especially a large one, of her own.  But their did seem to be a moment a few years back where it did seem like she seemed ODDLY happy, and there was some good natured ribbing.  And then she seemed kind of sad.  It could have simply been a genuine, and very painful first crush, which she had to live out, at least somewhat, in front of the cameras because of the way they earn their living.  But I honestly don't think that Jim Bob finds husbands or wives for his children to keep up with the Bates' or anything like that -- although I do think he would do his best to keep someone he genuinely disapproved of from working out, and I think nearly all of his older children would hold that line.  I'm not sure what might have happened a few years ago, but I do think something did, but I don't think that Jana is miserable now, or that she is being sent off to an indoctrination camp.

Edited by GEML
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Of course, here in the REAL world, it's no longer considered "tragic" for a woman to be unmarried at the age of 30.  Some of us even CHOOSE to remain single and childless.  Gasp!  Perhaps Jana is just marching to the beat of a different drummer (but not dancing).

  • Love 7
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When and where did Jana say that she was struggling about loving someone in her family? That's some statement!

 

I remember this, just not specifically where. Was it at the Journey to the Heart episode?  I can't remember but I do recall that it was in a group forum, as opposed to in a talking head interview.

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The jewelry box story is on the show, but if you don't come out of Fundy world, I think that story sounds a lot worse than it is. It's actually a story about giving fully and absolutely straight out of the Gospels and I do not believe for one moment that Jana feels abused or taken advantage of in that story or that Jessa feels that she pulled one over on her sister.

The comment about struggling with her family and her resentment as an adult, however, comes out of her book she did with her sisters and is a whole other issue. I do believe she resents her mother a great deal for putting her in a position where she not only bore too much adult responsibility too soon, but was tagged as rebellious and ungrateful for being what in any other family would have been rewarded for being a good and delightful child - in other words, she was punished for being a child as a child.

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I thought being made to chaperone Jill's midwife training by being a doula might have had something to do with it too. Jill was getting what she wanted but it didn't seem to be Jana's calling and big surprise she doesn't seem to be doing it anymore. Then there's Jessa and her best buddy Jinger with leaves Jana seemingly lonely and by herself as far as friends goes.

IIRC Jana has said being a doula is something she didn't want to do forever.
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Maybe Jana wants to live the single life. Not all women desire marriage and/or children.

 

While I agree that not everyone wants those things, even if Jana doesn't want them on some level, she's been raised to believe that that is the only way for women to live.  So I think it's highly unlikely that Jana wants to be single and childfree and is also okay with it.  Though that could be why she seems so bummed out all the time...

 

 

Adding to to that speculation, I'd suggest that when Jana said she was struggling to feel love for someone in her family it was Michelle she was referring to.

 

If so, that's terribly sad.  I'm sympathetic to not being able to feel loved by people you know love you (my life in a nutshell), but in this instance, I'd say the problem is not with Jana.  It's with Michelle not displaying love towards any child who isn't Josh, Josie or whomever's an infant at the time.

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I do believe it might be a LONG TIME before JANA gets married..

 

Why.. because I found it EXTREMELY unusual for JBOOB to hook up his SECOND daughter. with a GUY before seeing to his 1st daughter.. I know they were going on AND ON about JILL being sweet, kind..etc. etc. BUT.. I see those qualities in JANA too.. and she is like a mother hen! abet.. she DID not want to be a MIDWIFE.. AND she didn't, and doesn't LIKE this doula thing!! BUT, alas.. JBOOB would NOT allow JILL to go to NURSING school (coed, not Gothard).. and while he would allow her to start Midwifery teachings..(which, one doubts she will ever finish).. a lot of us suspected that he tried to PUSH jANA into this to, but she absolutely refused, but did agree to do the 'doula' classes.  ONLY because if she DID NOT.. Jill would not be allowed to take midwife classes.. I use JESSA AND JINGER as evidence.. they both had a VERY short ''CAREER' as counter persons ' at a coffee shop. But, it seemed, they HAD to be together, and LORD ONLY KNOWS how many people JBOOB called to GO FAR FAR out of their way to stop and buy coffee -and check up on them-in that coffee shop.. Who knows what males might get aroused by their Store aprons? Especially those who are not believers and might want to get the Boobs money!

 

ANYWAY.. I doubt JANA is going back to DOULA lessons.. She didn''t like them(forgot where I got that), but besides.. Michelle has to NOW work .. what with 2 of her top 'girls' out of the house!!

 

In a lot of cultures.. where there are LARGE FAMILIES.. the OLDEST daughter -and again, it depends on the family.. -often holds off marrying-because she is supposed to HELP take care of the ''LITTLE ONES' .. and we definitely see this here with MICHELLE!! How many times have we seen the family go off and either MICHELLE has one of the girls stay-I do not remember if she had Jill or Jana stay.. or she had 'RE-ENFORCEMENTS.. help her.. like with one of the El Salvador trips.. because the OLDER ones went off the there she was.. left with the younger kids.. either 5 or 7 but the facts were.. THEY WERE HER KIDS.. and the show, MICHELLE, JBOOB.. were all making it sound like MICHELLE was being overrun like a daycare!! (Aimee, Anna, Anna's sister and Grandma were there.. no adult had more then 2 kids.. ridiculous.. ).. So, unless we get a surprise.. JANA will be hanging around, because if SHE marries.. then we have jinger and joyanna being the primary care takers of the young ones.. and letsface it.. some of the young ones.. ARE BRATS-JOSIE.. .and JOY ANNA- I do not see as being the PROPER lil HOUSE WIFE.. (she has been at the training camp already!).. I ALSO think that Jessa is going to be bringing her brood, once she starts.. around, she does not hit me as the motherly type!

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Although a lot of people don't think about it, it's also very common in these homes for other girls to come in and help.  We've already seen how Jennifer Hartano, Priscilla Keller and perhaps one of the Query girls has spent large periods of time in the house as what is essentially the nanny for a decent period of time.  There are literally hundreds of Quiverfull families out there with daughters in their late teens to early 20's who would love to come to the Duggar's large, spacious home, with the top notch kitchen and well stocked pantry and help with their youngest children which would be far easier than living in their own tiny little homes with 10+ siblings and not enough money and perhaps a father and mother who do not really get along very well.

If Jana would wish to marry and leave -- even to go, say to DC where she married someone she met through Josh and Anna, the Duggars would easily be able to find Michelle plenty of help, and we, as the viewing audience, would likely never even know.

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