The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[Jellybeans]

You have to remember that she has been brainwashed into thinking the only thing that matters in my life is taking care of the kids.

Don't Nuns do that? LOL.

[RedheadZombie]

There is a People mag article on FB asking MEchelle what would be a good Mother's Day gift or something like that. The first commenter said whatever gift it is it should go to Jana! lol Right on! Jana needs to be celebrated as MOTY not a never available MEchelle.

 

I love that commenter, and of course it's true.  Since Jana has the secret password to the internet, I hope she secretly goes on line and has discovered the great deal of good will the public has for her.  Growing up in a household that seems to think Jessa is the "beauty", it would feel good to read the comments calling her beautiful.  I know that's pretty shallow, but something like that can really feed your self-esteem.  Of course the comments also talk about what a sweet person and hard worker she is, but that would just reinforce her sense of duty.

[RedheadZombie]

Is it just me, or does Jana seem more at ease with, and less intimidated by Jim Bob compared to Michelle?  Even as Jim Bob was protesting painting over the tree and horse (and even Jenny's desire to save the horse), Jana clearly stood by the redecorating plan.  And when she forced Jim Bob to paint the horse, she was very relaxed and it seemed like a more genuine father/daughter moment.  I've never seen her comfortable or even genuine in an interaction with Michelle.  Perhaps because JB is represented as a boob, by Michelle herself.  Off the top of my head:  JB is unmemorable, has bad breath, and is a wimp about pain.  Conversely, JB is very clear that Michelle is perfect.  As a result, she may feel more comfortable joking around with her father.

[GEML]

There is an episode where Jana goes to JttH. I'm not someone who is talented about links to previous shows, but if you find it, I'd recommend watching it. It's ine of the few episodes where you see an animated Jana as opposed to either blah Jana or I'm going to do the right thing if it kills me and it might Jana.

There's a moment where Michelle tries to almost guilt Jana by saying Josie will miss her but Jana doesn't let the door hit her on the way out.

[Jellybeans]

That is interesting GEML. As a side note I am reading your book. :-)

[3girlsforus]

Sounds like Jana is a "daddy's girl." I have the same relationship with my parents. Mom was more strict, and harder on me, but in my dad's eyes I can do no wrong. I can speak freely with Dad, and always have, but with Mom there's a constant judgment.

I would also think if Jana does harbor any resentment it would be mostly focused on Michele since she's basically doing her job.

[Fuzzysox]

Maybe Jana should just become a Nun. I don't don't even know if that's a snark or not.

But that would mean that Bin would shun her because she would be an evil CATHOLIC. 

[zenme]

That would be an incentive to join a convent.

[Dr.Scully]

Do you guys think people ever say these things to Jana? Like at a book signing or something, a person could just blurt out to Jana how bad they feel for her and how unfair it is she had to spend her life raising her mother's children. I've always wanted to do this but have never been able to attend any of their events.

Not that it would change anything, I'm sure. But one could hope, right? ;)

[RazzleberryPie]

I really don't think that JB and Michelle would stand in the way of Jana if she wanted to go to Crown College or the like. For one thing, there are the Bates girls who went there, and with Gothard the man fading in influence, ideas do change.

But I'm not sure that Jana wants to go to college. She's never given any indication of wanting to pursue a subject academically or otherwise. She only did First Responder and Doula training for her siblings. She doesn't seem to want to get married.

The biggest mystery of the show is just what does Jana want her adult life to look like?

I've said earlier, too, that I don't think Jana has given any indication of wanting any sort of education - college, vocational, etc. I don't think she really even wanted to be a doula, but if she has to accompany Jill, she might as well do as Jill says and say she wants to be a doula. I don't recall her expressing wanting to do anything that requires  skill, but doesn't necessarily require post high school education, like Jinger's photography or Josh's graphic design.

 

Most of us want her do have a more mainstream life, which in your late teens and early 20s, usually involves some sort of education/training, first jobs, moving out of your parents home, etc. But, we have no idea if Jana wants this. I don't think Jana herself knows what she wants, to be honest.

 

I wonder if Jana has major anxiety issues - being overwhelmed easily, needing time to process change, excessive worry, etc., - which can only be accelerated with a household that thrives on religious paranoia (breath wrong and you're going straight to HELL), over stimulation (20+ people running amok at all times), and an insane amount of structure and responsibility on children, which gives someone with anxiety no room to breathe, show emotion or process what's going on around them. It's easier to just clam up, freeze up, never express yourself and let others run your life than to deal with it. Compound all this with a belief system that thinks any sort of mental illness can be prayed away and doesn't need medication. 

[Honeycocoa]

At some point the show is going to need to start addressing this issue. Maybe we will get a "Jana's Escape " episode when Jana, Jinger and Grandma go to Savannah for a long weekend or something. They can eat in nice restaurants ( without kids!)  and go for walking tours or spa days or whatever it is that would be fun for them. ( do they even know?)  Of course,  I'd really like to send her to Hawaii, Alaska or Disneyworld, and Jinger would like to go to NYC, but Jim Bobs not going to let that happen- so maybe they'll just get a girls weekend away sometime.  The producers can show how much the family misses them when they are gone etc. Maybe the producers will ask Jana a little bit about what she wants.  I'm sure she knows people wonder about her. It's unfortunate that it's all so public, she doe seem like she's rather not be noticed. But it is getting a little weird, given their lifestyle.

I think she's choosing to stay home and raise her siblings, myself.  I think she has deliberately decided to stay with them for a few more years because she knows her parents can't deal with the  little ones and she doesn't want to dump it all on Joy. I suspect Jinger will get married next , and then Jana in four or five years. ( I don't have much of a read on the boys)

 

ETA. You know if they would just come out and say " We have a family business of public speaking. Jimbob and Michelle travel a lot so Jana's job is raising her younger siblings and it's a real JOB and she get paid for it" I think it would be a little more ok.  But no, they have to pretend she's just "helping" while waiting for some guy to show up...

 

ETA2 an interesting article about  the different cultures for home schooling. first saw it posted on Pickles and Hairspray FB page..

https://my32cents.wordpress.com/2015/04/07/the-5-tiers-of-homeschooling/

Edited May 5, 2015 by Honeycocoa

[hlemommy]

Do you guys think people ever say these things to Jana? Like at a book signing or something, a person could just blurt out to Jana how bad they feel for her and how unfair it is she had to spend her life raising her mother's children. I've always wanted to do this but have never been able to attend any of their events.

Not that it would change anything, I'm sure. But one could hope, right? ;)

I've thought about this. I even had a dream that I went to one of their events and told the oldest few kids that if they ever needed a way out I'd help them! I told them there is a better world out here with educated women and powerful women who don't need a man or quiverful to be happy

[BitterApple]

There is an episode where Jana goes to JttH. I'm not someone who is talented about links to previous shows, but if you find it, I'd recommend watching it. It's ine of the few episodes where you see an animated Jana as opposed to either blah Jana or I'm going to do the right thing if it kills me and it might Jana.

There's a moment where Michelle tries to almost guilt Jana by saying Josie will miss her but Jana doesn't let the door hit her on the way out.

Ugh, leave it to Michelle to lay a passive-aggressive guilt trip on her daughter instead of telling her to go and have a great time. When it comes to the Littles, Michelle acts like a grandparent who occasionally baby-sits the kids so her daughter can have a night out. Even Miracle Baby got shoved to the side once the attention wore off.

[Apple Clark]

Agreed. She's old enough to be Josie's (and most of the other little girls) grandma isn't she?

[JenCarroll]

Do you guys think people ever say these things to Jana? Like at a book signing or something, a person could just blurt out to Jana how bad they feel for her and how unfair it is she had to spend her life raising her mother's children. I've always wanted to do this but have never been able to attend any of their events.

Not that it would change anything, I'm sure. But one could hope, right? ;)

I've not had the dubious pleasure of seeing them in person, but I'd guess the parents have the older kids pretty firmly tomato-staked. Besides, I'm sure Jana is constantly busy making sure all her kids -- sorry, her "siblings" -- stay in place and behave themselves.

[JenCarroll]

 

ETA. You know if they would just come out and say " We have a family business of public speaking. Jimbob and Michelle travel a lot so Jana's job is raising her younger siblings and it's a real JOB and she get paid for it" I think it would be a little more ok.  But no, they have to pretend she's just "helping" while waiting for some guy to show up...

 

You know, that's an interesting point. A lot of things seem even more sinister than they otherwise might, because the Duggars are so weirdly inconsistent about owning what they do. Stories keep changing, and no one knows what to think (well, other than the leg-humping crowd. They always know what to think.). If they just said something like you're suggesting, probably most people would nod and think okay, that's reasonable. And it's the very least of what they owe Jana -- just to accord her some respect for what she does.

(When we see this on the show next season, Honeycocoa better get credited!)

[BitterApple]

Regarding the book signings I'm assuming they push you through the line pretty fast. There probably isn't much time to slip Jana an escape plan.

[GEML]

The thing is, we all think Jana is staying because her parents (especially Michelle) can't handle raising the youngest children. But I'm increasingly convinced that maybe Jana can't handle it either. (Especially without Jill.) So maybe that isn't why she stays.

Edited May 5, 2015 by GEML

[Sunnybobs]

There is a long tradition of sisters running the home of their parents or brothers. Yes when this is not a choice and enforced it's a pretty dull future but this is not always the case. I know in Ireland where my family are from the Priest's household can often be run by one of his sisters (usually these days with their family as well). So maybe Jana is just happy with that role. She and John David interest me mainly because they are so uninteresting! Really how do you hide your personality so much? And that just doesn't seem to be the norm even within the Duggars - love em or loathe em most of the other family members display their personalities. But Jana & John David just are so blah it's almost as if they work at it.

[MJDai]

It could be an attribution thing. I am spinning theories here, this is all conjecture. But Jessa and Jinger seem to be externaly motivated to do their chores (/slave labour) as in their parents make them and they do it but don't feel they have to like it. Jill seemed internally motivated, she did her chores so people (her parents) would see she is A Good Girl + she would derive pride out of being a good servant etc. Jana seems to be externally motivated but has internal attribution. She does the work because she is told to but is down on herself because she doesn't like it.

If that is the case it would explain why Jana of all the J'slaves seems most down. If she thinks she's a bad person and no accomplishment is ever good enough because she has times where she doesn't enjoy it... that leads to fear, depression and stagnation. It would explain her seeming lack of interest in her own future.

 

I don't think Jana blames her parents. Loyalty and obedience to the parents seem too central to their lives. So all she is left to blame is herself. Which, if she is already pre-disposed to internal attribution could have bad consequences.

Again, just guessing.

[Fuzzysox]

Since Jana is in charge of the mailroom perhaps she needs to receive Carolyn Jessop's book Escape. Might wake her up a little.

[GEML]

I agree that both Jana and John David are so uninteresting that it's the most interesting thing about them. We are also always being told constantly by other family members how wonderful they are - over the top wonderful - almost as if they too worry about them being so uninteresting that they have to fill in the blanks.

[JenCarroll]

Isn't it odd that they're dragging Marjorie around everywhere, and putting her on display with their children and children-in-law? Photographed at ATI conference, performing at the church... what's up with that? Those are some big-ass pieces of her heart she's giving away, for such a young girl; she's pretty heavily invested in being part of the Duggar Family, don't you think?

I wonder if they're really engaged, and just waiting for her to be of age before they make the announcement. Or if maybe Josiah has simply said, "Fine, I'll be in your dog and pony show, as long as Marjorie can stay with me."

[hlemommy]

Marj jumped into the family feet first

[GEML]

I think they noticed the new competition and liked the musical contribution that Marjorie brings. The Edelweiss mashup was a little too convenient.

[cereality]

Isn't it odd that they're dragging Marjorie around everywhere, and putting her on display with their children and children-in-law? Photographed at ATI conference, performing at the church... what's up with that? Those are some big-ass pieces of her heart she's giving away, for such a young girl; she's pretty heavily invested in being part of the Duggar Family, don't you think?

I wonder if they're really engaged, and just waiting for her to be of age before they make the announcement. Or if maybe Josiah has simply said, "Fine, I'll be in your dog and pony show, as long as Marjorie can stay with me."

It's not odd for this family -- they don't practice what they preach. You can't touch your significant other but for a side hug with Mama and Daddy counting how many seconds you're hugging, but it was fine to bring Ben to the Bates's wedding, he was seen at a few book signing/campaign events, and ultimately moved into his girlfriend's house before marriage. But apparently they didn't give away pieces of their heart like those dating heathens would.

 

And yeah -- Josiah is short. I don't know how short, but there was an episode -- maybe where he was learning to drive -- where JB made fun of him for it; Michelle stood there and said "stop" while laughing like a loon -- much like she did when whichever kid got his head stuck in the banister.

[Barbie]

I thought that courting to them was a pre-engagement, meaning if you agree to court you are agreeing to be married at a later time... they have a getting to know you part before the courting.  Is this wrong??  TIA... 

[Apple Clark]

I think Jana would be a more interesting person if she had a chance to be a kid (and a teen) before becoming a mother and having her spirit broken. JD is just uninteresting. I have never liked him.

[flyingdi]

I sincerely don't know if Jana and John David are uninteresting or just the two most uninterested in all the hoopla. Sometimes watching them I get the feeling it is the latter.

[flyingdi]

I also think in some ways if the child train had stopped at Jill, Jana and John David would be textbook middle children. The ones with nothing to prove.

[Wellfleet]

I sincerely don't know if Jana and John David are uninteresting or just the two most uninterested in all the hoopla. Sometimes watching them I get the feeling it is the latter.

 

It's been my theory, for quite a while, that Jana and John-David appear to be the dullest and least-interesting kids solely because of the fact that they're the ones most likely to have had any semblance of interesting personality traits "trained" out of them at a very young age. I believe Josh actually escaped this since it doesn't sound like Boob and Me-chelle went "full on Gothard" until the twins came along, or shortly afterward. Josh may have had a few relatively-normal years there at the beginning, but I'm guessing the twins got the biggest dosage of blanket training the longest. I don't think the fact that both are so dull could be a coincidence, or just their natural inclination either. Both were subjected to whatever version of blanket-training was being used then and both seem to be living life in "minor key."  

Edited May 5, 2015 by Wellfleet

[GEML]

But I don't think they were blanket trained. I think they had a far more normal early childhood than did say Joyanna and the actual middle children. I don't think blanket training started until the SECOND set of twins. There are photos of Josh and Jana and JD dressed in normal clothes and things like Halloween costumes and having regular Christmases. If anything, they, like Josh, should have a little bit MORE normal of a personality since they were given a more "normal" childhood in their most formative years.

[3 is enough]

A few years back there was a rumor going around that Jana may have had a potential courtship partner vetoed by Jim Bob.  I think it was one of those silly "Duggar dating" episodes, where the girls who had NO experience with guys gave advice on dating. They were asked if any of them had met a guy, and someone looked at Jana and she mumbled something to the effect of "well there was a guy..." 

 

I think this was around the time of the publication of the second book.  I remember people who had gone to the book signings reporting that Jana appeared to be "tomato staked"- sitting right next to Jim Bob or Michelle, and not able to really interact with the fans.  It seems to me that this was about the time she lost her spark, and people began commenting on how sad she looked.

 

This was probably 4-5 years ago, but if she really had feelings for some guy and her parents put an end to it it would certainly explain a lot. 

 

[Sunnybobs]

Just seen the episode where she went to JTTH as a leader and she sparkled, she was buzzy and excited and seemed to have built really strong links with all her protégés in the cabin. So why can't she do more of that? Michelle and JB were weird talking about her (too many references to her being trained well which was strange about a 22 year old!) & clearly the other kids missed her organising, cooking and scheduling skills. However she did seem much more of a personality when alone at JTTH - did she ever get to do it again?

[Missy Vixen]

Regarding the book signings I'm assuming they push you through the line pretty fast. There probably isn't much time to slip Jana an escape plan.

There are many authors who don't allow conversation at all during book signings. We've also learned that the Duggars have "security" (namely bookstore employees) that would most likely remove anyone deemed disruptive from the event.

[JenCarroll]

Oh. I thought the courtship WAS the getting to know you time. However I could be wrong. Or the Duggars could be, you know, masters of prevarication who tell whatever story suits them at any particular moment.... ;-)

[GEML]

I think Jana may have real talent with young adults, and more to the point, might ENJOY DOING IT. It would be nice to see this brought out more in her some way. Surely there is a need for it, even in Gothard settings. And if she could figure out a way to do it, Jim Bob and Michelle would be hard pressed to say no, as it would be a form of "ministry."

[cmr2014]

It's my understanding that there is a general "getting to know you" phase that takes place in a group setting -- like Josh meeting Anna at Big Sandy, or the group meal where JD was photographed sitting next to some girl that led people to speculate that he was courting. Then, once they decide to "court," there is a more personal "getting to know you" phase that takes place one-on-one where they apparently discuss their favorite Bible verses under the watchful eye of a chaperon. I don't think that they are allowed to court unless there is an expectation of marriage in the future. Only something very serious (like not liking the same Bible verses?) can stop the train at this point.

 

Courtship leads directly to engagement which appears to be just like courting, but with hand sex.

 

Marjorie is already on the train. It would take something really big to prevent her from becoming Mrs. Duggar.

[3girlsforus]

At some point the show is going to need to start addressing this issue. Maybe we will get a "Jana's Escape " episode when Jana, Jinger and Grandma go to Savannah for a long weekend or something. They can eat in nice restaurants ( without kids!)  and go for walking tours or spa days or whatever it is that would be fun for them. ( do they even know?)  Of course,  I'd really like to send her to Hawaii, Alaska or Disneyworld, and Jinger would like to go to NYC, but Jim Bobs not going to let that happen- so maybe they'll just get a girls weekend away sometime.  The producers can show how much the family misses them when they are gone etc. Maybe the producers will ask Jana a little bit about what she wants.  I'm sure she knows people wonder about her. It's unfortunate that it's all so public, she doe seem like she's rather not be noticed. But it is getting a little weird, given their lifestyle.

I think she's choosing to stay home and raise her siblings, myself.  I think she has deliberately decided to stay with them for a few more years because she knows her parents can't deal with the  little ones and she doesn't want to dump it all on Joy. I suspect Jinger will get married next , and then Jana in four or five years. ( I don't have much of a read on the boys)

 

ETA. You know if they would just come out and say " We have a family business of public speaking. Jimbob and Michelle travel a lot so Jana's job is raising her younger siblings and it's a real JOB and she get paid for it" I think it would be a little more ok.  But no, they have to pretend she's just "helping" while waiting for some guy to show up...

 

ETA2 an interesting article about  the different cultures for home schooling. first saw it posted on Pickles and Hairspray FB page..

https://my32cents.wordpress.com/2015/04/07/the-5-tiers-of-homeschooling/

 

Considering I know just as many secular/atheist/non-religious homeschoolers as Christian ones this article left out a few "tiers". 

[Honeycocoa]

Yes, in the comment section of that piece the author clarifies that she should have called it "the Five Tiers of Christian Homeschooling". Nosing around on her website you can find some interesting posts. It's like reading about a whole different culture for me.  Some interesting writing on Stay at Home Daughters and another one on Losing the Purity movement.  ( I'm glad they know they're losing)

 

Someone up page commented that Jana should be given a copy of Carolyn Jessop's Escape. ( which is about the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints) Polygamy is to weird for Jana , I don't think she'd relate. (despite the fact that we refer to them as sister moms, they are pretty hard core about the monogamy)  Despite  the author being Jewish I think she would relate better to UnOrthodox,the Scandalous Rejection of my Hassidic Roots by Deborah Feldman.  They have a lot more in common.

 

If I knew she were being compensated like a working adult, I would feel better about Jana's sad life.  Maybe she could get a full time position with Journey to the Heart.. But I don't know if that operates year round.

 

Everyone seemed to like the travel episodes, they got  decent ratings. Jana and Jinger should get to go on a trip!

[RazzleberryPie]

Considering I know just as many secular/atheist/non-religious homeschoolers as Christian ones this article left out a few "tiers". 

My first experiences with homeschool kids were also secular. They were either the kids of hippie parents who didn't want The Man to corrupt their children (AKA parents were too toked up to get their 8 hippie kids up and on a school bus), special needs kids who didn't have a specialized school near them (specifically a family with two deaf children, who would've been put into special education with kids with severe intellectual/developmental issues - I apologize for not knowing the correct modern terminology, bu don't want to use the "R" word), or the Special Snowflake My Baby is a Genius and Too Smart for Dumbass Public Schools (until we need someone to teach them higher math and science, then we send them to public school bc that's the only option).

 

I really didn't know of any religious homeschoolers until the late 90s, when I met a couple of kids at church camp. Now it seems like they're everywhere. 

 

Back to Jana - too bad, seriously, really too bad, she wasn't "better friends" with their Jill or Jessa. Jill the Narc has always had Jimbob's ear, and flew under Michelle's wrath, and Jessa gets what she wants, even if she has to kick and snark to get it. Jana could use their support, but it looks like they, too, have relegated her to CinderJana, and SHE LET'S THEM.

Edited May 6, 2015 by RazzleberryPie

[3girlsforus]

There are almost as many reasons people homeschool as there are homeschoolers. And yes there are Christians who homeschool for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with their faith. 

 

I get a little prickly when I read those kinds of articles that put homeschoolers into boxes based on some preconceived stereotype. 

[RazzleberryPie]

There are almost as many reasons people homeschool as there are homeschoolers. And yes there are Christians who homeschool for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with their faith. 

 

I get a little prickly when I read those kinds of articles that put homeschoolers into boxes based on some preconceived stereotype. 

We don't have any children, so I really don't have a dog in this hunt, but I do think the author was writing a satire piece intended for entertainment. I also think a huge attraction for homeschooling for Michelle was that she got a LOT of attention and praise from the whole ATI crowd, so she latched on to being a homeschool advocate. Also, when you have that many kids homeschooling is just plain easier than trying to get them up all up, fed, dressed and out the door, plus it eliminates any after school activities, juggling assignments, homework and permission slips, etc. I absolutely do not get the impression that besides group violin and piano lessons, Michelle was into anything extracurricular except for that yearly conference. They also relied heavily on workbooks, online lessons and peer mentoring far more than Michelle actually instructing anything.

[Micks Picks]

And of course the home school conferences are always good for boyfriend/girlfriend shopping.  That's where Josh found Anns I believe.  Jana and John David seem too shy and awkward respectively to do that kind of shopping around.  They desperately need interaction with the opposite sex in relaxed situations.  They need a level of comfort, and I don't know where they could find it.  The conferences at their ages are not doing it for them.  I'm not happy with snarking on J.D. because he is seeming so lost and unhappy lately.  Nothing to say, hard to get him to even smile like he used to.  Sad, very sad.

[CofCinci]

I wonder if they're really engaged, and just waiting for her to be of age before they make the announcement. Or if maybe Josiah has simply said, "Fine, I'll be in your dog and pony show, as long as Marjorie can stay with me."

Marjorie has known Josiah far longer than Ben and Derick knew their eventual wives.  I suspect that Josiah and Marjorie are engaged but will not make the announcement until after her 18th birthday.

 

She's turned up in photos, specifically the mission trip - sitting dangerously close to her beau.  Is she in the audience of any of the weddings?

[BitterApple]

It wouldn't surprise me if they're already engaged although I don't know where Josiah would have gotten the money from to buy a ring. I guess he can always go to the same grocery store bubble gum machine where Bin bought Jessa's.

[CofCinci]

It wouldn't surprise me if they're already engaged although I don't know where Josiah would have gotten the money from to buy a ring. I guess he can always go to the same grocery store bubble gum machine where Bin bought Jessa's.

An advance on the Marshiah People magazine deal?

[GEML]

I'm curious about how much interest PEOPLE will show, given that he's not one of the daughters.

[barbedwire]

Then if there is a broken courtship (like Zach Bates and Sarah whatshername) the internet will have forever pictures of them.  So I don't like it is wise that Marjory is drug everywhere.  For normal people, yes.  If someone saw an old picture you would just say "That is my ex-girlfriend." No big deal.  But for this family............................................

[Happyfatchick]

I've been reading backwards this week trying to understand this family and this movement better.  Somewhere along the way, I saw a picture of Jana sitting at the piano (practicing I assume) with a baby papoose in her lap between her and the keyboard.  At least I think I did.  I have no idea who's older or younger than the rest except Jana is the oldest daughter and Josie the youngest.  After that, it's just a fudge mix. 

You all may have covered this before (probably), but I'm curious, if Jana was maybe 11-12 in that pic, who would have likely been the baby?  Would this have been the beginning of the buddy system? 

If I review my own schedules when my kids were younger and at home, I have trouble coming up with a scenario "good" enough that would have made an older sibling practice piano with the younger sibling strapped on.  How extensive was (is?) the buddy system?   Since they were all in the house together 24/7, did the buddy system mean that the older bud had the younger to have and to hold (feed, groom, brush teeth, clean up after, tend to, play with) all day, or was there a specific space in the day when Michelle was, you know, the MOM?

And another thing, I read a rumor somewhere along the way that one of the Bates boys approached JB about courting Jana, and she said no.  Is this conjecture?  And if she turned someone away, is there any chance in this crazy culture that she could maybe say later, "Ummm, ok, I'd like a re-do on that one."  I'm asking because while I've been catching up, I've discovered that I think Lawson has true potential.  The Bank of Lawson.