The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[BitterApple]

I hope Jana is just waiting for the right guy and not actively being prevented from courting. She may be savvier than we think. Jana has watched Jill and Jessa rush into marriage and may not want to get stuck with a guy who turns out to be a dud.

Personally I think Jessa is more in love with being out of the TTH than she is with Bin. I think Jana takes a more mature approach to love and may not be as willing to settle.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

I can see Jana (and Jinger) meeting a nice guy at the supermarket or randomly in the streets like that. A real meets cute type thing that I love.

[CarolMK]

Josie either sleeps with Jana or in the bottom bunk along with Jordyn, I'm guessing. It's interesting to note that back when the family got this house in 2006, Jana and Jill were the ones who got the double beds but Jessa, Jinger and Joy were all given singles. I'm sure the beds were designed for Jana and Jill to have their buddies sleep with them at night since Michelle couldn't be bothered getting up with the little kids, plus Michelle always had either a  nursing  baby or was pregnant. 

[floridamom]

I find it a bit "twisted" that Jana seemingly has never had a bed to herself...that is just plain awful. I'd like to hear from Jana about that...and the other older girls.

[flyingdi]

Maybe Jana is waiting in regards to courtship/marriage until their is no way physically possible that she can have that many children. Then she wouldn't be blamed for not having a mega family. Just a thought.

[GEML]

In all honesty, it's only been in very recent history that people have had their own beds. Up until the 1970's, I knew people in rural Appalachia who would have expected me to share a bed if I stayed with them overnight due to space and/or heating concerns. It was definitely part of "country" culture. So while it is extremely unusual today world, and we know the reason is because Michelle and Jim Bob can't be bothered to parent their own children, I don't think there is anything particularly twisted about it.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Maybe some people think it's weird because of the huge house the family has. All of that wasted space for only, what, 4 bedrooms?

[floridamom]

I'm pretty sure that Jim Bob always had his own BEDROOM growing up as he was only one of two kids; I'm pretty sure Michelle had her own bed, if not her own room as she grew as most of her older sisters would have already left home for varying reasons...The Duggar family was also custom building their own home in this century, so there would be absolutely NO reason to not at least split up, age appropriately, all the offspring...Accountability, accountability and control, plain and simple. Most of these girls don't even have the opportunity in being alone in their own beds....something their parents enjoyed when growing up themselves...no excuse, IMO.

Thanks, TheDoctorsCompanio; that is my point....they were building their own custom home.....

[msblossom]

There are only 3 older girls left, and I'd wager that Jinger will be the next to get engaged (I give her a year). I see Jana engaged in 2 years, and Joy will quickly go after that.

I think that sharing a room and beds and the whole sister-mom thing to be rather self-serving on the part of JB & M; they just don't want to be saddled down with the responsibility of actually rearing their younger children. And they come up with the lame explanation that all the girls decided they wanted to share one big room together. Riiight.

Then once Joy leaves, Michelle will conveniently have herself a mental breakdown and one of the girls and their spouse (probably Jana) will have to move into the TTH to care for Michelle and kids. Either that, or it'll happen during Jana's engagement and she'll have to call it off or put it "on hold" indefinately to take care of Michelle & remaining Duggars.

Doing the math, Jana should be free to marry sometime around the age of 38.

Edited March 6, 2015 by maraleia

[Portia]

I don't get the excessive bed/bedroom sharing at all, and I'm well aware that this used to be much more common: my father shared a bed with one of his brothers until they both left to fight in World War II! Just because it's a modern American convention for children to have their own beds and as few children per bedroom as the house allows doesn't mean that the Duggars have to buy in to that convention. My family certainly rejected some common societal conventions; my son will tell you that when he was coming up, literally ALL his friends had video gaming systems, but for various reasons we decided not to have one. But when a family decides to buck some common cultural practice--such as not having a TV--I can usually understand their motivation even if I don't buy into it. With the dormitory-style bedrooms in that huge house, though, I'm completely stumped as to how this approach would possibly benefit the kids. Like msblossom, I don't buy that it was the kids' choice. I can't help but suspect that it's one more way to stifle individuality (just like that blasted community closet) and to create a Big Brother atmosphere (masquerading as "accountability") where no one ever gets a moment's privacy EVER. 

Edited March 6, 2015 by Portia

[GEML]

I wouldn't be surprised if one of the son's wives moves into the house permanently and sort of "takes over" the house day to day. Perhaps if they let Josiah go to college to study accounting, he and his wife, for instance, would take over the household.

[ChocolateAddict]

The excuse of "they all wanted to be together!" is crap.  Maybe at 6, 8, 10 years old they did but no young adult wants to be sharing a room with younger siblings who are under 10 years old. Same for John-David, I do not believe for a second that he wants to be in a little boys room (although he seems to be a bit of a tosser and certainly isn't helping out with the kids so I have less sympathy).

For Jana, not only is she taking care of the kids during the day but has to sleep in the same room as them at night.  The least that Mechelle could do for her in exchange for raising her children would be to give her an actual room!  

[cmr2014]

I agree with everything you said, Portia.

 

To me, the bed sharing isn't creepy because most modern kids have their own beds, it's creepy because of why they don't have their own beds. I think that the JB and J'chelle fear that their children might be tempted to explore their bodies and need an accountibilibuddy even when sleeping. I also think that this dovetails nicely with the fact that JB is crazy cheap and can use this as a justification for not buying beds for his children.

 

I also think that the dormitory style rooms had more to do with cost than anything else. JB and Josh toiled on that house for years, and they would still be living in a rental if TLC hadn't come along. I think there was a lot of negotiation with TLC to keep the costs down, and the bedrooms were a casualty of that. There is no up-side for TLC if the kids have private spaces where they can get away from the cameras and its not in keeping with Gothatd's "accountability" philosophy anyway. It's a lot splashier from TLC's perspective to show the amazing kitchen, and the wall of washer/dryers than it would be to show a bunch of bedrooms.

[Mrsjumbo]

I posted this on the Duggar kids thread but I'll post it here too: are their names carved into the headboards? And when a girl leaves to get married & they move around with who is sleeping where, do they sand the girl's name out & carve a new one in? Just wondering what they are doing with the Jill & Jessa headboards.

I also think having all the boys in 1 room & girls in 1 room was yet another example of Mechelle's laziness. Let the older kids take care of the younger ones, I need my sleep!

[floridamom]

The girls' names aren't carved into the headboards, they are stencil painted on them..But, yes, I thought that was a weird thing to do from the start...

[Barb23]

The girls' names aren't carved into the headboards, they are stencil painted on them..But, yes, I thought that was a weird thing to do from the start...

I'm sure that was just part of the decorator's theme for the room. Since the girls were younger at the time, I'm sure they were impressed with their new beds as well as the whole room. IIRC, they were sleeping in those cheaper metal type bunk beds squeezed in a small bedroom in their old house. As I have said before, what gets me is that Boob & MEchelle didn't plan for future blessings in the rooms since MEchelle was still popping out kids. That's why the younger girls ended up sleeping in Pack & Plays in the girl's room. I don't think they thought about the kids growing older in the rooms either. As usual, the Duggars get stuck in a time warp.

[Darknight]

But with the money they have now they can add more rooms. But JimChelle have their own room with a lock.

[RedheadZombie]

I find it a bit "twisted" that Jana seemingly has never had a bed to herself...that is just plain awful. I'd like to hear from Jana about that...and the other older girls.

 

My friend shared a bed with her younger sister until she moved away to college.  There were five children in a small home.  She also had to do her younger sister's laundry - she was the baby of the family.   I do have a problem that they're sharing beds in such a huge home.   Also, it's a never ending cycle of children moving into and out of the eldest girls' beds.  I can't imagine the number of times they've woken up peed on.

 

I came across a recent article claiming that Jana rejected Zach Bates' attempts to court her.  Any truth to that?

[floridamom]

Re: multiple siblings in the same bed...I certainly can understand if a family has financial difficulty and that is the best they can do for them; sometimes it just isn't easy and hard times come..but the Duggars,, multi-millionaires, do NOT have an excuse for this. That's what makes me so mad...Jim Bob and Michelle certainly have an industrial strength very comfortable bed, I'm sure..after all, it has to take all the "Olympic moves" in pursuit of all of those blessings...and they can't even think of giving their own children absolutely their own appropriate bedrooms, let alone their own beds...so disgusting...I want Michelle to have to sleep with Josie and wake up " a little damp"..and wash her own sheets to boot.

[Micks Picks]

I used to think Jana was just beautiful.  But the only times she seems to get away is to take care of Josh's kids or to go to a Gothard activity.  She doesn't seem to have a real smile to her.  I want to see her laugh.  Really laugh.

[floridamom]

I wonder why Michelle never volunteers to be a real grandmother and help Josh and Anna out with their kids and do some babysitting? One would think that traditionally a grandmother helps out, not a sister in law...they claim to be soooooo traditional don't they? but they are not.

[Mrsjumbo]

Both my mom & MIL are the same way. I think there are a lot of non- maternal mothers in this world.

[msblossom]

Agree. Michelle is the square peg to the round hole of genuine maternal instincts. They probably died after Jill was born.

[Barb23]

I think Jessa & possibly Jinger fall into the category of not being full on mommy material even tho they have been forced to take care of their younger siblings. Nothing wrong with that. I have a childless by choice friend who after spending time with her young nephew, is pulling her hair out. I can see the looks on Boob's & MEchelle's faces if one of the children tells them they don't want kids. "Lets pray on that." Or have they been Gothardwashed into believing you have children no matter what? I think a previous poster has a point in that Jana has figured out by putting off courtship & marriage, she can have a smaller number of children.

[GEML]

You actually never see any of them really laugh. They all chuckle or giggle, but no one has ever really laughed.

[msblossom]

You actually never see any of them really laugh. They all chuckle or giggle, but no one has ever really laughed.

So true. Now the Bates, they laugh.

[lookeyloo]

The Duggars and the Bates both have their arms folded across their chests in many scenes. I think mostly the girls. What's up with that?

[msblossom]

Idk, maybe they feel "exposed", or unsure what to do with their hands on camera. Maybe closed off? I'll have to pay closer attention, I haven't noticed. I think Jana is tired of being filmed and she is closed off.

Re; Zach Bates & Jana, I had heard (maybe on this forum) that she'd rejected a courtship with him. I do wonder about Lawson as a potential courtship for Jinger or Joy.

Edited March 8, 2015 by msblossom

[Sew Sumi]

From all indications, Lawson does not want to be married anytime in the immediate future. Good for him. An artistic type, like I see Jinger, would work well with him, though. 

 

At this point, Jana would be better off with a man a few years older than she. I don't want to see her marrying a manchild like Ben.

[floridamom]

I think if any of them at this time prefer to not be focused on or included in most episodes, OR NOT AT ALL ANY MORE, including Mr. Byrum, they should plainly say so and let the audience know their preferences...Cathy can speak her husband's preference and as usual, Michelle and Jim Bob can let us know what their children prefer right now. That would leave a lot of incorrect speculation out and we would know the real story and let it be...I don't understand these people very well, do I?

[GEML]

Watching the Bates (even years ago) was part of what made me realize how humorless the Duggars are. And they are absolutely joyless, which I don't think they were when they started the shows, actually.

[CarolMK]

What if there's a possibility that Jana just doesn't want children of her own at all? I read an article from the Huff Post earlier where a 22 year old women expressed that very thought and also expressed irritation that she would someday change her mind. The writer is an only child and says she has felt this way since she was a young teenager. If Jana truly feels this way but isn't allowed to express it, I guess her only choice is to never marry, otherwise she'll have to go against her parent's beliefs and control. Rather than risk being cut off from the family, she chooses to continue to stay at home.

[Wellfleet]

Watching the Bates (even years ago) was part of what made me realize how humorless the Duggars are. And they are absolutely joyless, which I don't think they were when they started the shows, actually.

 

I've never really thought about this before, but once pointed out, it certainly does seem true. The Duggars are everlastingly afraid - too busy worrying about everyone and everything evil that might befall them - to take any real joy out of Life. Most especially the real joy and rewards of having children.

[GEML]

It's always been true that Fundamentalism has, and may well be, founded on a base of fear. But there is a flip side to it: there is a certainty to it that allows someone who believes in it to relax and be joyful in that certainty. It's not something that most people would necessarily want, or would exchange what most of us (not necessarily accurately) would call our secular freedom for, but I've known people in this life who lived on each side. People who were only fear based Fundies (like the Duggars) but also plenty of others who lived it fully and truly rested in the knowledge that they were doing what was right, so they lived their lives boldly and joyfully.

[Darknight]

What if there's a possibility that Jana just doesn't want children of her own at all? I read an article from the Huff Post earlier where a 22 year old women expressed that very thought and also expressed irritation that she would someday change her mind. The writer is an only child and says she has felt this way since she was a young teenager. If Jana truly feels this way but isn't allowed to express it, I guess her only choice is to never marry, otherwise she'll have to go against her parent's beliefs and control. Rather than risk being cut off from the family, she chooses to continue to stay at home.

I understand this, but JimChelle should allow her to do something with her life. Travel, work, school pursue her own interests. God forbid something happens to JimChelle or her siblings Jana can survive and take care of herself.

[maraleia]

Guys let's keep this topic about Jana...there are too many off-topic posts here. That goes for all the threads BTW. If you don't want your post deleted then put it in the correct thread.

[JoanArc]

http://okmagazine.com/photos/cinderella-duggar-jana-19-kids-and-counting-leaving-school/photo/1001219221/

 

I'll believe it when I see it.

[StaceyNotStacie]

http://okmagazine.com/photos/cinderella-duggar-jana-19-kids-and-counting-leaving-school/photo/1001219221/

 

I'll believe it when I see it.

 

I think it's more wishful thinking.  If it was from People or even US Magazine, I might think it could be true, but the way the article was written, it makes me think that it was more speculation than an actual story.

[Ilovemylabs]

I think it's more wishful thinking.  If it was from People or even US Magazine, I might think it could be true, but the way the article was written, it makes me think that it was more speculation than an actual story.

I read it too and was hoping it was more than just speculation!

[Absolom]

i think yet another "magazine" took a lift from an online board or blog and ran with it and magnified it.

[msblossom]

It's too much to hope for. I'll believe it when I see it.

[Darknight]

Lies

[JoanArc]

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2015/03/jana-duggar-leaves-tlc-reality-show/

 

http://www.inquisitr.com/1913298/jana-duggar-is-done-with-19-kids-and-counting-what-will-she-do-now/

 

I don't believe it at all.

 

Maybe she said she wanted to leave, Jim Bob said no, and she mouthed the words 'Tell All'. Then the lord laid it on his heart to purpose for Jana to start her ministry with a servants heart.

Edited March 11, 2015 by JoanArc

[Guest]

The article doesn't even get it right that she's not the eldest child, so I have no faith in the rest of it.

[Ljohnson1987]

Jana was asked by Zach Bates to court, and she turned him down. She needs to man ASAP, or she's going to be her parents live in child care provider, until they die. Jill and Jessa could marry because they could be replaced with younger girls. I guess CinderJana is irreplaceable.

[Absolom]

Wasn't the Jana/Zach thing just another internet rumor?

[msblossom]

Wasn't the Jana/Zach thing just another internet rumor?

Probably. I think the only place I'd heard of it was on this forum, stated matter-of-factly, and granted that happens frequently here.

I could actually see Zach being interested in Jana for a potential courtship, but not the other way around. Jana, I think, is probably picky -- and rightfully so.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Her jurisdiction includes the mail room too? The boys can't do that?

[JoanArc]

Not if their reading skills are at the same levels as their math skills, 3rd grade.

[farmgal4]

Her jurisdiction includes the mail room too? The boys can't do that?

The thing that stood out most for me was that she has no future plans/goals. This poor woman has been taken advantage of for so long that she doesn't even know how to dream of a future anymore. I HATE Michelle Duggar for ruining this woman's life, absolutely DESPISE her.

Edited March 11, 2015 by farmgal4