S06.E14: Fortunate Son

[Primetimer]

Donna's trip to South Central to cover Rose Queen Lisa's shift ends with her inserting herself into the life of a reluctant shoplifter.

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[Primetimer]

Even St. Donna can't keep Brandon's gambling problem from giving new and very literal meaning to the term 'rears its ugly head' in S06.E14.

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[Cekrypton1]

I have never understood--and always been vexed by--Brandon's diagonal part. It makes no sense. Was he born with a skewed head?

[Flamingo]

I've used several letter openers like that, they work well as long as the blade is sharp.

[MerBearStare]

Sarah is not a crackpot. Mock turtlenecks are awful. Wear a regular turtleneck (which is still iffy) or go no higher than a crew neck.

[MerBearStare]

I don't have much to say about this episode because this stretch of season 6 episodes are soooo boring, but the way Donna and Joe were talking about Lisa's neighborhood reminded me of Patton Oswalt's bit (I think it's from Werewolves and Lollipops) about the ridiculous warning he got as a child about not using a cell phone in black or Latino neighborhoods "because they'll know you're rich and will kill you." It's that same sort of white panic about being in a non-white neighborhood, even if it's the middle of the day and it's not even a sketchy part of town. Bless their hearts.

[TeeVee329]

Sarah and Tara are so right that Kelly frequently goes with "I guess I owe you an apology" versus actually apologizing, especially with Val.  What a bitch (about it).

This section of season 6 is seriously so boring.  Why does this show keep forgetting that it's a soap.  At least next week gets things rolling on Coke!Kelly, plus Cindy and the big reveal about Steve's paternity!

Edited March 27, 2017 by TeeVee329

[marceline]

Has there ever been an episode where 90210 has a character of color without going full "Blind Side" on them?

[kfree9]

That's the only kind of letter opener I use! Whenever I go to a business expo or something and companies are giving them out for free, I stock up!  Steve is holding it super weird though.
Nice sideburns, Kelly.

Edited March 27, 2017 by kfree9
added a sentence

[ZeroDiscipline]

Has there ever been an episode where 90210 has a character of color without going full "Blind Side" on them?

Maybe the one about the rich Popcorn King family that moves into the neighborhood. Vivica A. Fox didn't need Brandon to fight her battles for her.

[ZeroDiscipline]

Why does Val have to apologize to anyone? This money is going to a child's charity and she has contributed more than any of these fools, except for possibly Brandon but that is only because he is a gambling addict. God Val, find other friends. Dump David too, why does he get to be angry with you at all? Unless he knows that the portrait will suck because Colin is painting it.

[maxineofarc]

I work in an office and I use that style of letter opener for Tyvek envelopes, the blade style for paper envelopes. Vendors are always giving us those things with their logos on them.

[Lisin]

I also use that style of letter opener at work to open Tyvek envelopes. Also, pro tip, it's a great "de-matter" for dogs with long hair. Just make sure you cut AWAY from the skin (obviously) but you can stick the pointy part into the mat and use the blade to cut it in half which makes it easier to brush out. I actually use them more for that purpose. 

[maxineofarc]

<3 GORDON LIGHTFOOT GUEST APPEARANCE <3

[Cekrypton1]

Joe goes from commenting on how his town was so poor there were never fancy cars, to telling Donna that she shouldn't feel bad about her circumstances and should enjoy it? WTH? Why not suggest that with her mother's connections and her parents money they create a program to fund/subsidize childcare in low income areas? No? Just enjoy your circumstances Donna? Okay.

[AndySmith]

How dare you suggest he make St. Donna of The Order of Most Special and Beautiful Snowflakes feel anything but good about herself.

[RunningRose]

As a huge 90210 fan, I have seen all the seasons and episodes many times over, but THANK YOU Sarah and Tara for consistently pointing out how bitchy Kelly is (ALL THE TIME), how bratty braying Brandon is (ALL THE TIME), and how saintly, naive, virginal, can do no wrong EVER Donna is!
I guess you really do see the show through different eyes as an adult as I never really noticed these things as a teenager. I don't know how Brandon got away with his attitude with his parents without getting slapped in the face, kicked out of his house, or how he has any friends left, and let alone a girlfriend (in every season!)
Do you think the character was written that way or that Jason Priestly was allowed to "make" Brandon into what he was?
I don't think he started out that way in the first season?!?!?

Also, the comment about Donna getting slapped in the face with ice cream aka the brown lipstick was spot on!

[Jax7917]

All the characters talked back to their parents likes assholes . The only one who didn't was Donna , and she was the only one had should have 

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Who knew that a phrase as derpy as "Kids, Laughter and Dreams" could sound so angry?  

[GoRunner]

Random thoughts:
1. From here on out, ...Kelly was a bitch about it is like her spirit name, her main driving force. It kind of reminds me of how back in the day in your recaps of MSCL, (I loved those recaps almost as much as the show!) you would just recap Danielle as: Danielle, whatever.

2. I would pay 50.00 just for "Gordon Lightfoot" to make an appearance on the podcast, read an ad, whatever GL wanted to do. I loves Gordon Lightfoot.

3. Joe's, "She's (insert very awkward long pause) local."
*facepalm. Reminded me of the season 3 line dance to cure racism episode when Brandon asks Jordan Bonner about Jordan's friends who were shot: "Were they (insert awkwardly long pause) gang bangers? Oy.
I love remembering Sarah's mocking French spin on it too. "Gaung Banges".

[brenda dubois]

1 hour ago, MuuMuuChainsmoker said:

Who knew that a phrase as derpy as "Kids, Laughter and Dreams" could sound so angry?  

Honestly that made me laugh harder than anything else Tori Spelling has ever done, including "it's brains". And I've seen most of her Lifetime movies plus all of So NoTorious.

Delurking to share how much I HATE this episode. Tara and Sarah touched on a lot of what's wrong, so I'll just chime in in agreement. I feel like in the race episodes there's always a scene where a person of color makes all these good points, like the writers read them somewhere or consulted someone smart, and it just makes it worse that in the end they're groveling to stupid Brandon (and now Donna). This was especially bad given that it's a single mother juggling work and nursing school getting lectured by someone who couldn't handle attending college and being a goddamn debutante. 

[SoupThrower]

We have one of those letter cutters thingies at home.  

[SoupThrower]

9 hours ago, ZeroDiscipline said:

Why does Val have to apologize to anyone? This money is going to a child's charity and she has contributed more than any of these fools, except for possibly Brandon but that is only because he is a gambling addict. God Val, find other friends. Dump David too, why does he get to be angry with you at all? Unless he knows that the portrait will suck because Colin is painting it.

A guy that you kissed and have a close relationship and she bidded $600 for time with him? Don't blame him at all.  Also what a shitty Christmas present. 

As someone who is of black heritage.  this pissed me off.  Donna pissed me off so much.  Joe not so much because considering what we know about him it is part for him being ignorant.  But god damn Donna....

 

Also Brandon's gambling.  I'm cool with it.  It sucks how over the top Nat went.  The money is going to charity.  Let him waste his. 

 

Also Brian and Kathleen doing their thing.  I like David and Val but alwayws felt David was second rung to Colin.  At least David and Clare tougether weren't like that for the most of it. 

Edited March 28, 2017 by SoupThrower

[luckyroll3]

The thing that bugs me the most about this episode is Donna's assumption that Isiah has had an awful childhood.  Based on what Donna? That he's black? Get the fuck outta here with that shit.

[Jax7917]

I feel like David and Clare's relationship was the most pointless and anti climactic couple on a soapy tv show , which is why they were good together . There really was nothing big story line wise when they were together . It was just a normal relationship 

[TeeVee329]

37 minutes ago, SoupThrower said:

I like David and Val but always felt David was second rung to Colin.

I guess it was to keep Kelly and Valerie at odds, but I agree, there was some wonky writing going on with Valerie both legitimately falling in love with David and unable to let go of her schoolgirl crush on Colin.

[Petunia13]

A more accurate child's reaction when Donna attempts mentorship. 

[sinnerforhire]

Also, if I recall my Baby-Sitters Club books correctly, the 11-year-olds were allowed to babysit their own siblings provided the parents were in town and reachable. So I don't see what's so bad about Isaiah, who is clearly more responsible than Donna (Rocky 2, anyone?), being left home alone with his siblings during daylight hours. I think Mrs. Holcomb had every right to flip out on Donna, and I wish she would have thrown her ass right out of the house.

[CurlyATX]

I've got a 12 yr old so I'm going to chime in.  We occasionally have him "babysit" his 6 year old brother (ie they both watch TV or go on the ipad while I buy groceries or attend a meeting before Mr. CurlyATX returns).  TV and general stereotypes seem to look down on babysitting your own siblings.  This is seen as a great hardship on the older child, unless you are a Duggar I guess.  An 11 year old who watches kids for money= entrepreneurial.  An 11 year old who watches his siblings = overburdened child losing his childhood innocence. 

Also, was this a weekend?  Because the younger siblings were "home all alone all day" must mean that they weren't in school.  Sheesh, as kids we often spent ALL DAY glued in front of the TV while my mom ran errands or just hung out in the back.  And I lived in a super suburban neighborhood and had tons of friends who returned home at 3, made a small snack and did homework until parents arrived.  

Donna is the type of annoying ass that nowadays would call CPS if I let my 12 year old walk 4 blocks to the park UNSUPERVISED.  This is why we have a group of millennials who have their PARENTS negotiate their annual reviews.   #IamNotaCrackpot #GetOffMyLawn

[CurlyATX]

I love how we have this letter opener debate 2017 vs talking about the episode.

Episode question, if Val was legitimately buying the "portrait" for David, then why did she give that weak burn to Kelly after she won (about Kelly not thinking winning was a priority)?  Wouldn't a normal person have made a joke about how they accidentally raised the price of the item due to a misunderstanding?  Or, wouldn't you just freaking HIRE Collin to pain the picture for a lot less money?

[Jax7917]

9 minutes ago, CurlyATX said:

I love how we have this letter opener debate 2017 vs talking about the episode.

Episode question, if Val was legitimately buying the "portrait" for David, then why did she give that weak burn to Kelly after she won (about Kelly not thinking winning was a priority)?  Wouldn't a normal person have made a joke about how they accidentally raised the price of the item due to a misunderstanding?  Or, wouldn't you just freaking HIRE Collin to pain the picture for a lot less money?

yeah her buying to spend time with colin was just that. She knew in order to legitimately hang out with Colin, she'd have to buy the time. I don't feel like she was ever that into David to be honest, even the second time around. She always wanted what she couldn't have. If she could have them, she wasn't interested. But seriously, why not just offer to pay Colin to do a painting rather than spend a crap load of money . The only reason was to stick it to Kelly. David had every right to be pissed.

[Sarah D. Bunting]

I was left alone with my brother for the evening regularly starting at age 9. He was 4. Granted, it was a small town and my parents could have been home in five minutes, plus we lived within sight of the hospital we were both born in, but still. Donna's welcome to hit us with some retroactive free pizza, however.

[Nanna]

That is a very short dress to wear for work in a grocery store. I hope she didn't have to bend down to reach something.
If I had kids, I'd be glad to use Isaiah as a babysitter. That house is so spotless that its seems he has those kids totally under control, they haven't even made a mess while being alone. Well done, Isaiah.
However boring gambler Brandon storylines are I find it impressive that the writers actually remembered something from earlier seasons and used it again. But I think this is the last time we hear about Brandon and gambling? Not that I'm complaining.

[txhorns79]

Quote

Donna is the type of annoying ass that nowadays would call CPS if I let my 12 year old walk 4 blocks to the park UNSUPERVISED.  This is why we have a group of millennials who have their PARENTS negotiate their annual reviews.   #IamNotaCrackpot #GetOffMyLawn

I'm surprised your company would tolerate someone's parents trying to negotiate a review.  How does that even work?  I agree about Donna.  In this case, she doesn't know these people, and I don't recall them ever appearing again, so she should let it go. 

[desertflower]

I do like that Donna was a nice character in general and that she always tried to help people. But they just pushed it too much and too far. It's not enough to save the baby deer; the firefighter then also has to fall in love with her. It's not enough to help her Rose Queen friend by working at the convenience store (and really, who does that anyway?) But she also has to simultaneously rescue some latchkey kids. She can't just have one stalker, she's got to have two. They really needed to dial it back. Oh! And I had forgotten until I watched the Brandon/Kelly wedding episode last week that even the caterer at the wedding falls in love with her! It was seriously too much. 

[maxineofarc]

17 hours ago, GoRunner said:

2. I would pay 50.00 just for "Gordon Lightfoot" to make an appearance on the podcast, read an ad, whatever GL wanted to do. I loves Gordon Lightfoot.

We loves Gordon Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot is good doog. I bet Gordon Lightfoot would appreciates donations to roller derbies.

[MCMLXXVII]

1 hour ago, desertflower said:

It's not enough to help her Rose Queen friend by working at the convenience store (and really, who does that anyway?) 

Thank you! Granted, it looks like a small independently-owned store, but are there no other employees or owner's friend/family who could work a shift? The owner doesn't know Donna from a hole in the wall, and she could have well emptied the cash register (and perhaps safe) herself. He must have taken business classes with Nat. 

As a Black person, I feel like the show handled race like one of the writers watched "Boyz in the Hood" instead of knowing any actual Black people. 

Edited March 28, 2017 by MCMLXXVII

[AndySmith]

Quote

As a Black person, I feel like the show handled race like one of the writers watched "Boyz in the Hood" instead of knowing any actual Black people. 

You mean they spoke to someone who watched it...

Quote

As someone who is of black heritage.  this pissed me off.  Donna pissed me off so much.  Joe not so much because considering what we know about him it is part for him being ignorant.  But god damn Donna....

Why are we expecting more from these people? They're a bunch of white people growing up in the Beverly Hills bubble in the early 90s...most of them, anyway.

Edited March 28, 2017 by AndySmith

[Klaw]

1 hour ago, maxineofarc said:

19 hours ago, GoRunner said:

2. I would pay 50.00 just for "Gordon Lightfoot" to make an appearance on the podcast, read an ad, whatever GL wanted to do. I loves Gordon Lightfoot.

We loves Gordon Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot is good doog. I bet Gordon Lightfoot would appreciates donations to roller derbies.

Me three! More Gordon Lightfoot, please! He is a good doog...

 

6 hours ago, sinnerforhire said:

I think Mrs. Holcomb had every right to flip out on Donna, and I wish she would have thrown her ass right out of the house.

Seriously. The utter gall of some skinny little 20-year-old bitch coming into some stranger's house and telling her that the way she runs her household is "just wrong." That woman was as zen as a monk because if she was working 2 jobs, going to nursing school AND raising 3 children on her own? That would have been enough to choke a bitch out. How dare she. 

Ok, we didn't talk about it, but what's up with Brandon's weird talking cadence? What's with him talking like he grew up in South Philly "heya, NAT, doncha know? I've learned m'lesson, ey..." It's like a cheap Rocky Balboa impression. WTF. We know you're from Canada Jason!

Joe walks funny. That is all.

[Jax7917]

3 hours ago, desertflower said:

I do like that Donna was a nice character in general and that she always tried to help people. But they just pushed it too much and too far. It's not enough to save the baby deer; the firefighter then also has to fall in love with her. It's not enough to help her Rose Queen friend by working at the convenience store (and really, who does that anyway?) But she also has to simultaneously rescue some latchkey kids. She can't just have one stalker, she's got to have two. They really needed to dial it back. Oh! And I had forgotten until I watched the Brandon/Kelly wedding episode last week that even the caterer at the wedding falls in love with her! It was seriously too much. 

And don't forget she saved the workers at the sweat shop .. such a saint that Donna 

[ZeroDiscipline]

50 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

And don't forget she saved the workers at the sweat shop .. such a saint that Donna

By that point, that just became her weekly plot, if she wasn't fighting/making up with Noah or working on a pill addiction. She volunteers to work on costumes for her high school's play, and is the only one to figure out that a girl working on the play is being sexually abused by a teacher. Then she rescues the girl in a gang that shoplifts from her store. And then the girl that cuts herself and bled all over her clothes. Even when she stole her colleague's designs whilst in the throws of her pill addiction, it played out like she was doing the colleague a favor by admitting it.

[Jax7917]

Very ridiculous . 

Also , her and Noah lasted way too long . Every episode was a whisper fight 

[bilgistic]

I work in an office and I use that style of letter opener for Tyvek envelopes, the blade style for paper envelopes. Vendors are always giving us those things with their logos on them.

I have one at home and one at work. I popped out the clear cover on the work version and cut to fit a little card to replace the vendor logo with my name. (I'm a nerd.) Someone just made fun of it the other day, but no one steals it!

[bilgistic]

I heard somewhere (Friends? Seinfeld?) that mockneck shirts/sweaters are called that because "people mock you when you wear them".

[atlanticslide]

This show was always terrible with race issues (why did they even try?) but for some reason this one offends me the most. I hated the Shaw episode, but at least in that one the characters kind of learned something and had some of their initial ideas challenged (thank you, Jordan Bonner); this episode should've been about Donna learning a superficial/dumb lesson from an underprivileged black family about race relations or the economic hardships of low-income families or what it's like to grow up without the types of privileges she's had. 

Instead, this episode was about a middle-aged black woman learning a lesson from a 20-year-old white woman who was raised by millionaires. 

[AndySmith]

Quote

Every episode was a whisper fight 

Well, she had to do something besides folding all those sweaters at her boutique...

[txhorns79]

Quote

Instead, this episode was about a middle-aged black woman learning a lesson from a 20-year-old white woman who was raised by millionaires. 

I think the issue with Donna wasn't really about her race, age or wealth.  It was more about Donna butting into a situation she knew nothing about, involving people she just met.  Even if Donna had been the same race, socio-economic level and age of the woman whose life she was interfering with, it still would have been inappropriate for her to do so.       

[benteen]

Wasn't there an episode too where Donna makes sure some kid actress has fun too?

[CurlyATX]

16 hours ago, Klaw said:

Seriously. The utter gall of some skinny little 20-year-old bitch coming into some stranger's house and telling her that the way she runs her household is "just wrong." That woman was as zen as a monk because if she was working 2 jobs, going to nursing school AND raising 3 children on her own? That would have been enough to choke a bitch out. How dare she. 

Ok, we didn't talk about it, but what's up with Brandon's weird talking cadence? What's with him talking like he grew up in South Philly "heya, NAT, doncha know? I've learned m'lesson, ey..." It's like a cheap Rocky Balboa impression. WTF. We know you're from Canada Jason!

Joe walks funny. That is all.

I stumbled upon an old episode of Facts of Life where Tootie befriend a latch key kid and has the nerve to yell at the mom about how he's home alone.  She even says how she read that some companies "are having day cares in the premises".  This was in the 80s and even now, there are few companies that do that.  As a working mom, this makes me so mad!  Add the fact that many of us make less money than men in our field.  It's like these people without kids assume that the moms have ALL these other options and leaving kids alone is just the easiest one. 

[CurlyATX]

21 hours ago, Nanna said:

That is a very short dress to wear for work in a grocery store. I hope she didn't have to bend down to reach something.
If I had kids, I'd be glad to use Isaiah as a babysitter. That house is so spotless that its seems he has those kids totally under control, they haven't even made a mess while being alone. Well done, Isaiah.
However boring gambler Brandon storylines are I find it impressive that the writers actually remembered something from earlier seasons and used it again. But I think this is the last time we hear about Brandon and gambling? Not that I'm complaining.

Donna makes even a quickie mart uniform skanky! Ok, we get it, you are thin. 

As for Isaiah... he's great.  Most sitters I know never clean up.  I always have the dirty dishes and take out containers (I buy dinner) and don't even have the kids pick up toys.  It's basically "here, your kid is still alive.  I've been texting non stop since you left. "