S06.E10: One Wedding And A Funeral

[Primetimer]

The gang says goodbye to one of their own...in-law.

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[Primetimer]

Not least with overly tremulous too-close-ups, as Dylan gets married, widowed, and the hell out of Dodge in S06.E10.

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[DylanFanboy]

Long time listener but never commented here. I love the podcast but I was a Dylan fanboy as a kid and I still get emotional about his storylines -- even if the show itself is poorly written. I'm a few minutes into the podcast and I can already tell Tara and Sarah are not going to be as moved as I am.

Okay fine, I'm a 36 year old male and I still cry like a baby every time I see this episode and especially the scene where Dylan finds Toni dead. Please tell me I'm not alone.

Wrinkled foreheads and sideburns forever!!!!!

[WoodyCee]

I watched this episode while on the elliptical at the gym. When the strippers in the gold shorts came on I was very embarrassed to be watching this in public.

[StatMom]

The writers should be embarrassed for having written it. The whole thing of the boring bachelor/frenzied bachelorette party scenes is SOOOO played already (I know this was the 90s, but I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes then, too). Yes, the ladies can be as stupid and ridiculous as dudes, but it's not cute.

And don't even get me started on the cigar craze. Something about it smacks of pre-hipsterism, but I can't quite explain why.

[benteen]

I admit, I'll miss him...being made fun of on this podcast.

This was a pretty memorable episode at the time though.  I do remember that.

Brenda's letter was the closest we ever get to seeing her on the show again.

Not that I would want any of those losers at my wedding (especially Kelly) but Dylan not wanting his friends to see the actual wedding always pissed me off.  Pain Boy needed to hide behind his PAIN again.

What a shock that Antonia apparently has no friends and it's the female cast members of this show who make up her entire bachelorette party.

I bet Marchette's hitman didn't get a bonus after that hit.

RIP, Antonia.  I actually liked you.

Edited March 13, 2017 by benteen

[benteen]

Quote

Is Sarah the only one who thinks these two are capable at best, maybe, of a windmilling slapfight? (And, not for nothing, that these close-ups do not help create an illusion of badassery for either man?)

LOL, that's a classic!  It wouldn't be very manly, that's for sure.

[WoodyCee]

I also don't get what Tony Sr.'s end game was here.... Did he think that after Dylan was gunned down Toni would think "oh well I guess I'll go back to being Daddy's Little Girl."

[JohnTravoltasWig]

I re-watched Pulp Fiction recently and realized that Marcellus Wallace is also a fan of the Gallery-Opening Shirt. Yikes.
http://imgur.com/a/aQ4fj

[TeeVee329]

Something that was weird to me - Kelly tells Toni that Brandon told her about the Tony Sr./Jack sitch.  I 1) don't understand why Brandon would break Dylan's confidence about that at this juncture and 2) I can't imagine Brandon and Kelly having this conversation, given they are broken up, dating other people, not spending a ton of time together, etc.  It felt like a "Well, our female lead MUST be in the loop" kinda thing and I thought it was stupid.

Also weird - when Brandon is listing off the people he loves who have left him (#eyeroll) to Susan, he says "Andrea Zuckerman" instead of "my friend Andrea".  So unnatural.  And unnecessary, the "Zuckerman" qualifier would mean nothing to Susan and the audience remembers who Andrea is.  And how come Andrea didn't get to send a Chrissy Snow telegram to Dylan!

All that said, Toni's death is for sure a memorable moment, and one I found quite sad and effecting at the time, given I was new to the tropes of TV.

Edited March 13, 2017 by TeeVee329

[itainttippithebird]

I completely forgot that he straps Trouble on the back of his motorcycle until I re-watched and I had a fit of shock giggles thinking about HOW BATSHIT INSANE a cat would go when hurdling through space on a loud ass motorcycle in the open air. I'm pretty sure Trouble will have permanent brain damage by the first night, if not from being tossed to and fro, then from pure terror.

[MCMLXXVII]

Kelly's ecru/ pale beige dress at the reception is too close to white for comfort. Just seems like some passive-aggressive crap she'd pull. 

I love Dylan and Brandon's suits though. I appreciate the Brit tradition of morning suits for daytime weddings and tuxes for evening, so a light-colored suit looks appropriate for the climate and occasion. 

Edited March 13, 2017 by MCMLXXVII

[benteen]

1 hour ago, TeeVee329 said:

Something that was weird to me - Kelly tells Toni that Brandon told her about the Tony Sr./Jack sitch.  I 1) don't understand why Brandon would break Dylan's confidence about that at this juncture and 2) I can't imagine Brandon and Kelly having this conversation, given they are broken up, dating other people, not spending a ton of time together, etc.  It felt like a "Well, our female lead MUST be in the loop" kinda thing and I thought it was stupid.

Also weird - when Brandon is listing off the people he loves who have left him (#eyeroll) to Susan, he says "Andrea Zuckerman" instead of "my friend Andrea".  So unnatural.  And unnecessary, the "Zuckerman" qualifier would mean nothing to Susan and the audience remembers who Andrea is.  And how come Andrea didn't get to send a Chrissy Snow telegram to Dylan!

Excellent point about Kelly knowing.  I think I will actually cut Brandon some slack here.  Dylan decided he wanted to play a game with a murderous gangster instead of going to the police.  He invited Brandon and Susan as I recall to Marchette's house where he decided to go SNOOPING AROUND while they were all there.  So Dylan had no problem putting Brandon and Susan's life in danger by being the world's worst spy.  I will let "Bran the Man" off the hook on this one because he was probably trying to keep Kelly safe.  Even clueless Brandon knows Kelly's unhealthy obsession with Dylan will always make her hang around him while Dylan is playing his little game with a murderer.

Complaining about Andrea...gasp...leaving home and moving on with her life unlike Brandon and his posse is something I WON'T defend him on.

Plus, Brandon knew what Dylan was doing with Marchette so he doesn't get points either for agreeing to bring Susan along to the mansion.

Edited March 13, 2017 by benteen

[benteen]

1 hour ago, WoodyCee said:

I also don't get what Tony Sr.'s end game was here.... Did he think that after Dylan was gunned down Toni would think "oh well I guess I'll go back to being Daddy's Little Girl."

Yeah, I don't get it either.  This was going to destroy his relationship with his daughter for good.  Did he think Dylan was going to kill Toni to get revenge on him?  That's the only way this hit on Dylan makes sense.  Either that or Marchette just cares about his own well-being.

[Earmuffs Mom]

Maybe I am tragically uncool, but I don't know anyone who says, "Cheers" in different languages.  I loathe when Brandon does it.  

I know our intrepid podcast hosts found the episode overwrought, but it's still one of my favorites.  Dylan and Toni seemed in love.  I thought LP killed it when he walked through his unfortunately decorated room and hugged her dress.  The original music made it more poignant too.  I watched this episode the other day and the replacement music really took away from the scene.  Dylan riding off into the sunset with Trouble literally (and figuratively) on his back spoke to me.  I felt for that poor kitty though.  

[kfree9]

I have a coworker that capitalizes words in emails for no reason whatsoever and it drives me nuts. I tried to get her to explain to me why she does it and she couldn't. So funny that you guys noticed the same problem in that note the gang left for Dylan and Toni.

[Bob Lassiter]

2 hours ago, Earmuffs Mom said:

Maybe I am tragically uncool, but I don't know anyone who says, "Cheers" in different languages.  I loathe when Brandon does it.  

Couldn't agree more- it makes my blood boil.  It's insufferably pretentious.

[ZeroDiscipline]

Even though it doesn't make sense, I love that Dylan couldn't imagine telling Brenda he was getting married, but had no prob telling Kelly.

[Jax7917]

For someone who wanted to kill Toni's dad so bad , Dylan got pretty attached to Toni really quickly . Why would you put yourself in the situation of dating a girl who's father you intend on killing ? It's like they met , and once Dylan found out Toni was a girl he fell in love 

[Nanna]

Brandon even sounds like an asshole when he visits his friend who just buried his wife. The tone if that "Going somewhere" is just ... 

I'll miss Dylan. Being left more or less alone with Brandon as male lead is sad. 

[Petunia13]

8 hours ago, benteen said:

Complaining about Andrea...gasp...leaving home and moving on with her life unlike Brandon and his posse is something I WON'T defend him on.

Brandon has a pretty unreliable memory when it comes to the women in his past. Didn't he misrepresent his break up with Nikki as he couldn't be with her because she was a wounded bird? When in fact she dumped HIM, shouldn't have been shamed for having an abusive ex, and was pretty well adjusted and self aware -especially in comparison to him. 

[luckyroll3]

I was very concerned for that cat being put into a small travel case and then on the back of a motorcycle.  The noise and vibrations it had to endure....I would not want to be the person it first sees when she's let out!

[benteen]

You're right.  Dylan can't take care of himself or his wife, let alone a cat.

I had forgotten that Val wasn't in this episode, which is odd considering she and Dylan were close.  Was there a reason for her absence?

I'm glad they called out Claire's line at the Peach Pit on the podcast.  Even back then, I thought it was awful.  Though Steve sure gives it a run for its money.  And I also thought that his line about knowing Dylan since kindergarten was a retcon.

Edited March 14, 2017 by benteen

[WoodyCee]

Even though it doesn't make sense, I love that Dylan couldn't imagine telling Brenda he was getting married, but had no prob telling Kelly.

This! ?????

[SoupThrower]

13 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

Brandon has a pretty unreliable memory when it comes to the women in his past. Didn't he misrepresent his break up with Nikki as he couldn't be with her because she was a wounded bird? When in fact she dumped HIM, shouldn't have been shamed for having an abusive ex, and was pretty well adjusted and self aware -especially in comparison to him. 

I thought that Susan would have at least heard of Andrea. I saw it as him just bummed out that his house and friends have moved away rather than him complaining that she left.

Val and David basically weren't involved in this episode I guess because of next.

This is the last episode where we see Brandon and Dylan together. Geez

[SoupThrower]

18 hours ago, Bob Lassiter said:

Couldn't agree more- it makes my blood boil.  It's insufferably pretentious.

Lol I do that sometimes....

Not much to say about the episode but kind of crazy that this was the last time Brandon and Dylan shared screentime. Also Joe is dull. Broke up with his fiancee cause she was wild? What? Dammit Joe. You're too short to be a proper quarterback.

[Cekrypton1]

Joe's comment about his ex-girlfriend "running with a bad crowd" is so sexist and patriarchal I was all ready for our host to let him have it.

[Cekrypton1]

The deep pile orange rug? That house should have wood floors all the way through it.

[Halo]

21 hours ago, Bob Lassiter said:

Couldn't agree more- it makes my blood boil.  It's insufferably pretentious.

Really? I say skål because my family is Swedish--I'm also from a Scandinavian-heavy region, so it's common parlance. I also say salute when drinking with my Italian friends and proost with my friend's Dutch husband just because it's fun. I get being irritated with chin chin because Brandon, but in real life? 

Brandon's tear wipe pantomime in the Visual Aids actually made me laugh. It seemed lighthearted and kind of cute, like he was laughing at himself for getting emotional. I usually loathe Brandon, so that surprised me. The giant pants and weird goodbye scene brought me back to my usual feelings about him, though.

[Halo]

On 3/13/2017 at 8:52 AM, benteen said:

I admit, I'll miss him...being made fun of on this podcast.

Amen. 

[sarivon]

Jennie Garth is so matronly in this episode. And was she injecting her upper lip with collagen (or whatever was the the hot plumper of the era)? I ask only because JG for the first 4 seasons didn't have an upper lip. Then one appeared in season 5 and now it's real evident. Or maybe its the beige-gray lip pencil she's wearing.

[Michaels TV Tray]

  On 3/13/2017 at 7:52 AM, benteen said:

I admit, I'll miss him...being made fun of on this podcast.

Amen. 

At least he returns in Season 9, so we can look forward to more Dylan snark then, unless the podcast gives up on the awful later seasons.

[TeeVee329]

15 hours ago, benteen said:

And I also thought that his line about knowing Dylan since kindergarten was a retcon.

I would buy that Steve and Dylan have known each other since kindergarten, that they and Kelly and Donna were all in the same class.  But having been buddies since then, which is what Steve says in the toast?  Nah.  Nothing we ever saw on-screen made it seem like they were friends who spent any time together prior to Brandon's arrival.

Edited March 14, 2017 by TeeVee329

[AndySmith]

And even then it takes a while. I'd argue the group doesn't become a group of friends until season 2.

[Carmen MacCodykins]

@DylanFanboy you're not alone! What can I say? I guess I have a thing for stick insects!

[benteen]

7 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

I would buy that Steve and Dylan have known each other since kindergarten, that they and Kelly and Donna were all in the same class.  But having been buddies since then, which is what Steve says in the toast?  Nah.  Nothing we ever saw on-screen made it seem like they were friends who spent any time together prior to Brandon's arrival.

Agreed.  I totally buy Steve knowing who Dylan is but they didn't seem to run to hang together until they both became friends with Brandon.

[bethster2000]

On 3/13/2017 at 6:33 AM, DylanFanboy said:

Okay fine, I'm a 36 year old male and I still cry like a baby every time I see this episode and especially the scene where Dylan finds Toni dead. Please tell me I'm not alone.

You're not.  That scene is right up there with Dylan's dad being blown to smithereens.  I think Luke Perry did a great job in both scenes and I still get very verklempt when I watch them.

Whoever styled Jennie Garth in this era did her absolutely no favors.  Beige, beige, boring, dowdy.  I was in my 20s in the 1990s.  We had much better clothing available to all of us back then.

[Klaw]

So much to unpack in this ep! Agree about the cat. Jeebus, my poor cat and I moved cross-country in a U-haul and that was hell for her. Can't imagine being strapped to a fucking MOTORCYCLE, DYLAN!

Luke Perry is not a very good actor, but damn if he doesn't commit to his trauma scenes.  I think it was Sarah who said that he's one of those actors who, if he can't be good, he'll be doing ALL THE ACTING. That's Luke. Earning that SAG card. I actually respect him for it way more than, say, Jason, who is basically phoning it in as Brandon and playing Producer/Director. He looked so bored at that death scene.

Quote

Joe's comment about his ex-girlfriend "running with a bad crowd" is so sexist and patriarchal I was all ready for our host to let him have it. 

UGH so much this! Joe is a fucking QB for a top college football team. I wonder if he employs his Judgy McJudgerson crap on his teammates whose antics probably put his slutty HS sweetheart's to shame. Or does he only judge women who act "wild." STFU, Joe.

And speaking of sexist bullshit, STFU, STEVE for saying "She was so beautiful, how could anyone do this to her?" That quote always made me snort with derision. Oh, so if she was an old ugly hag, it would be ok for her to get shot up?  Such a fucked up thing to say.

Not only did Lead Henchman (Wesley Snipes wannabe) fuck up by pretty much telling Bruno about the hit, how about you, Bruno, call the cops? I mean, if you love Toni like a daughter, you have to think that your boss killing HER HUSBAND on her wedding night would be a little, er, devastating? Maybe sneak off to a side room in that fucking mansion and call the cops? No, you call Brandon at the PEACH PIT - because why? If Dylan was going to get gunned down, what the hell was Brandon going to do, get gowned down too? And if not, if the "two best men" were actually good at their jobs,  Dylan wouldn't have known what hit him, right? So stupid. And "2 Best Men", how the hell was that "hit" going to look like a car jacking? Car jackers don't usually fuck up the cars they want to jack; just the car owners. so many questions, so stupid.

And finally, I was always rolling my eyes whenever Dylan takes the gun proffered by the guy he KNOWS killed his Dad and his wife. Getting his fingerprints all over it. I mean if Toni is a homicidal maniac bent on revenging his accidental murder of his daughter, you would think he would take the gun and figure out a way to frame Dylan for something. And he was willing to murder Dylan while his daughter was alive. What makes Dylan think he's safe and sound now? So, so, so dumb.   

Having said all that, agree that the show with the original music was very nicely done. Poor Dylan. So long stick insect...

[CurlyATX]

On ‎3‎/‎14‎/‎2017 at 3:33 PM, TeeVee329 said:

I would buy that Steve and Dylan have known each other since kindergarten, that they and Kelly and Donna were all in the same class.  But having been buddies since then, which is what Steve says in the toast?  Nah.  Nothing we ever saw on-screen made it seem like they were friends who spent any time together prior to Brandon's arrival.

I'd let this one slide.  I'm sure in a school district like West Bev, the kids have all known each other since KG.  From Dylan's crappy book, he and Kelly were both left to wait during KG as their parents' had forgotten them.  I feel like the guys may have grown apart maybe after elementary school and then came back in HS together due to the Walshes. 

[TeeVee329]

Well, as we know, Dylan somehow crammed in a lot of being Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know, being an alcoholic, knocking up Parsian chicks, and knowing every bad boy in every bad scene before he turned 15.  So he probably didn't have a lot of free time to go to the arcade with Steve.

Edited March 15, 2017 by TeeVee329

[benteen]

4 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

Well, as we know, Dylan somehow crammed in a lot of being Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know, being an alcoholic, knocking up Parsian chicks, and knowing every bad boy in every bad scene before he turned 15.  So he probably didn't have a lot of free time to go to the arcade with Steve.

Just like Jen on Dawson's Creek and her wild tween years in NYC...

Don't forget as well Dylan's apparently drag racing which happened before he was 16...

Edited March 16, 2017 by benteen

[Sarah D. Bunting]

That crud.

[Jax7917]

Yeah I love how Dylan (and Jen on DC) did so many big bad things before the age of 16. Major eye rolling here.

[txhorns79]

Quote

What a shock that Antonia apparently has no friends and it's the female cast members of this show who make up her entire bachelorette party.

I realize it's a tv show and they have a limited budget for extras, but it is pretty ridiculous that Toni apparently has no friends whatsoever outside the gang. 

I like to think that once Toni heard Kelly tell her that the gang would be her new "family," she arranged the hit herself because she thought it would be better to be dead than have to hang around these people for the rest of her life. 

[Klaw]

18 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

Well, as we know, Dylan somehow crammed in a lot of being Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know, being an alcoholic, knocking up Parsian chicks, and knowing every bad boy in every bad scene before he turned 15.

SNORT! see, what they SHOULDA done is have had Dylan be a year older than the gang was and dropped back into the gang's grade after impregnating Parisian girls - OR - had clarified that he had attended an American school abroad (and thus stayed the same grade as his peers) whilst knocking up said Parisian chicks. Or, are we to believe he was running drugs and guns and cars with Mr. YOU CRUD and Stewart in middle school and he only knocked up Parisian chicks during his summer vacation? so many questions....

48 minutes ago, txhorns79 said:

I realize it's a tv show and they have a limited budget for extras, but it is pretty ridiculous that Toni apparently has no friends whatsoever outside the gang. 

Seriously. She's rich, young, pretty and a college student. I really have problems thinking she had 0 friends. Sure, maybe she was a loner but come the fuck on show. But really, she was totes Dylan's Jack Dawson and her only role was to just be this perfect doomed love interest so it didn't matter that she had no friends or backstory to speak of.

[TeeVee329]

I mean, I guess an argument could be made that Toni had trouble making/keeping friends due to her father's overprotectiveness, the bodyguards, etc., but still, she could have had at least one gal pal.

[benteen]

1 hour ago, txhorns79 said:

I realize it's a tv show and they have a limited budget for extras, but it is pretty ridiculous that Toni apparently has no friends whatsoever outside the gang. 

I like to think that once Toni heard Kelly tell her that the gang would be her new "family," she arranged the hit herself because she thought it would be better to be dead than have to hang around these people for the rest of her life. 

If that was Toni's plan, I can't say I blame her.

[TeeVee329]

Toni: Wait, so Valerie's only on the fringes of your group?  Uh...I need to make a phone call.

[Uncle JUICE]

23 hours ago, Klaw said:

So much to unpack in this ep! Agree about the cat. Jeebus, my poor cat and I moved cross-country in a U-haul and that was hell for her. Can't imagine being strapped to a fucking MOTORCYCLE, DYLAN!

Luke Perry is not a very good actor, but damn if he doesn't commit to his trauma scenes.  I think it was Sarah who said that he's one of those actors who, if he can't be good, he'll be doing ALL THE ACTING. That's Luke. Earning that SAG card. I actually respect him for it way more than, say, Jason, who is basically phoning it in as Brandon and playing Producer/Director. He looked so bored at that death scene.

UGH so much this! Joe is a fucking QB for a top college football team. I wonder if he employs his Judgy McJudgerson crap on his teammates whose antics probably put his slutty HS sweetheart's to shame. Or does he only judge women who act "wild." STFU, Joe.

And speaking of sexist bullshit, STFU, STEVE for saying "She was so beautiful, how could anyone do this to her?" That quote always made me snort with derision. Oh, so if she was an old ugly hag, it would be ok for her to get shot up?  Such a fucked up thing to say.

Not only did Lead Henchman (Wesley Snipes wannabe) fuck up by pretty much telling Bruno about the hit, how about you, Bruno, call the cops? I mean, if you love Toni like a daughter, you have to think that your boss killing HER HUSBAND on her wedding night would be a little, er, devastating? Maybe sneak off to a side room in that fucking mansion and call the cops? No, you call Brandon at the PEACH PIT - because why? If Dylan was going to get gunned down, what the hell was Brandon going to do, get gowned down too? And if not, if the "two best men" were actually good at their jobs,  Dylan wouldn't have known what hit him, right? So stupid. And "2 Best Men", how the hell was that "hit" going to look like a car jacking? Car jackers don't usually fuck up the cars they want to jack; just the car owners. so many questions, so stupid.

And finally, I was always rolling my eyes whenever Dylan takes the gun proffered by the guy he KNOWS killed his Dad and his wife. Getting his fingerprints all over it. I mean if Toni is a homicidal maniac bent on revenging his accidental murder of his daughter, you would think he would take the gun and figure out a way to frame Dylan for something. And he was willing to murder Dylan while his daughter was alive. What makes Dylan think he's safe and sound now? So, so, so dumb.   

Having said all that, agree that the show with the original music was very nicely done. Poor Dylan. So long stick insect...

Klaw, just KILLING it with this post. The Joe QB thing always struck me as weird...he's the same size as Donna and we're supposed to believe (a) he is bringing CU to the Rose Bowl and (b) he ISN'T somehow a national story for doing so at his size. The guy is AJ McCarron at best, a game manager. But more importantly...

What the hell kind of unprofessional professional criminals are these people? There's an entire comedy show underneath the Marchette Crime Ring. Imagine the meetings.

"Make it look like a carjacking, got it?"

"Yup...that's when the guys pull up to the car in a residential neighborhood in Beverly Hills..."

"NO. A carjacking is when you're in a town that has tons of traffic lights and so on, that's how they get you."

"Hmm. Who knew. So then I get in front of the car and unload the clip into the windshield?"

"What on earth would you be doing IN FRONT OF THE CAR? How would anyone possibly get car jacked like that? THE DRIVER SIDE WINDOW. Where the car's DRIVER would sit. I mean wouldn't there be a chance they just run you over?"

"I guess. So I shoot him, then what? Run away?"

"Do you know what a carjacking is? Can you not just hire someone else to do this? TAKE THE CAR."

"What do I do with the car? I mean how do I drive to wherever when my car is there still?"

[Jax7917]

3 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

I realize it's a tv show and they have a limited budget for extras, but it is pretty ridiculous that Toni apparently has no friends whatsoever outside the gang. 

I like to think that once Toni heard Kelly tell her that the gang would be her new "family," she arranged the hit herself because she thought it would be better to be dead than have to hang around these people for the rest of her life. 

Yes i think her having no one there if her own  at her bachelorette party is very strange and I would seriously question that if I were in that group of friends , however nothing beats having mrs teasley at donnas bach party . That literally made me laugh at loud . When your high school principal is one of the only people at your bachelorette party , you have problems my friend .