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All Episodes Talk: All Rise


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And for all the people who whined about how mean JJ is and so very nice MM is, they need to watch the new season. She's gotten just as mean as JJ and  a lot louder and she's only in her 50s. By the time she's JJ's age she'll be yelling "Off with his head!"

The only difference between JJ and MM is that Judge Marilyn starts off friendlier - and that is a big old ruse. Do NOT cross a Cuban woman because her demeanor will turn from sunshine to shitstorm in a hot minute. Especially if she thinks you think she's somehow intellectually inferior (I refrain from using the phrase stupid dare the Cuban mama gods strike me dead). ***source: grew up with a Cuban mother and entire Cuban side of the family, do NOT be ungrateful y'all or she will CUT you!

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Judge Marilyn starts off friendlier - and that is a big old ruse

 

.She usually starts off friendlier and, just to lull people into feeling they're at a tea dance or something, then strikes with the venom of a pit viper. Gotta love her.

 

Especially if she thinks you think she's somehow intellectually inferior

 

Nothing makes her more furious than idiots giving her badly whited-out documents or obviously altered receipts, as though she's too dumb to see it.

 

Ooops, better get back to JJ. ToasterStrudel, sugar daddies, dirty old men and Viagra? -  can't wait to watch the ep of which you speak.

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That web site is an eye opener, thanks for sharing.  I should have known about all of the paperwork involved, they must have a huge staff to file continuances with the court, etc. JJ acts like she's never seen anything other than the complaint and answer when she asks for their evidence (that they're required to leave behind) so that's not true.  Also, it looks like she's involved in which cases to hear and they can change their mind at the last moment.

 

It was interesting to read a couple of people were pretty upset with CBS.  Here, it airs on Fox.  I think the show is syndicated so any network can choose to buy it?

 

OT I took a look around and they had over 100 comments about a company that tried to recruit me for an office job that didn't exist so I could sell overpriced mortgages and insurance.  It was great to know my instincts were correct. 

Edited by QuelleC
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Just caught up on the comments.  MM?  She loves the gossip too much for me so the cases stretch out way too long.  If JJ goes on about dogs, MM knows everything about home renovation.  I'll always watch JJ because she cuts to the chase, maybe too quickly, and calls out the injury scammers (I handled auto injury claims for a long time until I couldn't stand the lying) but MM is right up there.  Her hair color is distracting though.  The others are sooooo bad.

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Then again, despite Plaintiff's apparent limited grasp of basic English ("she was photographic copying my personal papers"), she was literate enough to mention "emotional distress" as part of the compensation she was seeking. You can read how Ludmila really felt about her JJ experience here (some interesting insights from other JJ litigants as well).

Very interesting comments on that page. With or without a language barrier, though, I still think Ludmila is coming across as a little nutso and I'm not losing sleep over JJ dismissing her case. (I'm also having trouble drumming up some sympathy for the guy who claims he didn't know until the last minute that the cap for the show was $5,000.)

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Yep yep! And for all the people who whined about how mean JJ is and so very nice MM is, they need to watch the new season. She's gotten just as mean as JJ and  a lot louder and she's only in her 50s. By the time she's JJ's age she'll be yelling "Off with his head!" if a litigant dares to interrupt her. This is the result of dealing with a parade of lying morons and amoral slimeballs all day.

 

Is she really stricter now?  'Cause I watched her for a while, but I found it annoying that she let people get away with too much -- interrupting her, straying from the issue, etc.  If she's tightened up her protocol, I might try her again.

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Is she really stricter now?

 

Much! She came off the bench the other day and I thought she was going to hit the plaintiff (he of the "I dust my car every day)who could NOT STFU as she screamed at him "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!!" It was great. She also couldn't stand the next plaintiff who kept repeating "Opratable" instead of "Operable" and kept correcting her.

 

What did we learn on JJ today? Actually we learned it ages ago, but the fact that age has nothing to do with wisdom was hammered home. Two old guys - CEO and executive - fighting like babies. I love that JJ stated the obvious in that a 67 year old man has no business having a seven year old son, especially when he acts like a fool in front of the kid.

 

If I had never watched this show I never would have dreamed that so many adults are incapable of driving a car without totalling it. I've been driving for longer than I care to say and not once have I totaled my car. All the rest of the case - daughter and papa trading cars, daughter who is 24 and decided to have a baby even though she still needs her parents to pay for HER car and rent - blah blah blah.

 

The best was last; Crazy drunken bitch, ex-boyfriend with a warrant, and landlord - a man in his 60s I believe - who not only has a FB page but posts pictures of plaintiff's booze and pill bottles - had me laughing out loud as did the pics of plaintiff's huge arms with fingermarks on them.

 

Sisters fighting over junky belongings left in a closet for three years was only interesting in that the sisters both looked like men in drag.

Edited by AngelaHunter
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I have a different perspective on the Sister throwing out her Sister's PHOTOS and DIARY and DOCUMENTS, I (as a sister) would beat her within an inch of her life at every opportunity.  As on an ad I saw, "Was I supposed to keep it until the end of time?".  YES yes you must keep it til the end of time.  It's your sister's stuff, sisters are sacred, their stuff is too.  I don't care how long this one bag was in the closet. She GLEEFULLY fed it one piece at a time into the incinerator.

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YES yes you must keep it til the end of time.

 

Ok, I'm the second sister.  Three years?  Nope, I'm tossing your crap.  If it is so important to you put it in your closet.  See this isn't your closet anymore.  I shared a room most of my teenage years because you didn't fly the nest until you were 23.  Times up.  You're a big girl with your own place. (points for correct yours on this)

 

I wish Judy had asked the boot cutter if she was the oldest.  I'm betting she was.

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I love it when you can see the "type" of love interest a person has. We usually see more men with a woman on each side of the aisle, both women will be the same body type, similar haircuts and coloring. Today, although the woman herself was absent, we could clearly see exactly the middle age, balding rich white guy that she finds attractive.

I also have to add, he didn't look 67.

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Byrd needs to get at least half of JJ's salary for a year. I have never cracked up so much as when he said, while laughing till I think he had tears, "I have no idea why I am raising my leg". Captain Morgan indeed. Byrd earned bailiff of the century for that impromtu zinger. And it still went right over JJ's head. She never got it or knew she should have gotten anything.

I am like our judge and missed this entirely. During which case did the zinger fall?

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It was a case about two guys that got into a fight at a party. The uninvited guest put his hands on the homeowner's girlfriend, which set him off. He was explaining to JJ that he was drinking Captain and Coke (one of my drinks of choice). JJ didn't know what Captain Morgan was. When she asked Byrd, he lifted up his leg and said it's rum. It was really funny.

I don't think MM is as mean as JJ, although I agree that she has a temper. I don't get the sense that she pre-judges cases. There have been a few times when she's admitted she thought a case was going to go one way but, after hearing the testimony, it goes another way. I also think she's much fairer in her verdicts, even when she doesn't agree with the law. I watch them both, but I sometimes have to take a break from JJ. I don't have that happen with MM.

If I were crazy enough to go on a court show, I'd pick TPC just because I'd think I'd get a fairer shake than on JJ.

Btw, I also am glad JJ pointed out the ridiculousness of having a child at 60. My parents had my little sister at 42, and even that was a bit of a stretch. They just didn't have the energy to raise a kid the way they raised the rest of us, and she ended up being spoiled rotten since they had a lot more money than they did when the rest of us were coming up. I'm not saying that's true in all cases, just my anecdotal evidence.

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Grown ass women fighting over a game system

I'd be fighting like a mad woman if someone swiped my PS3! (Note: I wouldn't, however, if I GAVE IT AWAY like the lady in that case.)

ACK! I guess there's someone for everyone! ;) Plus I don't find stupid attractive, and that dude wasn't just stupid, he was STOOPID.

Girrrrrlll, I wouldn't want to talk to him. ;)

Because I had to GET A JOB, I haven't caught up on all the new cases yet, but did manage to see the deranged plant kicker who drove that elegant Cube. His name was Keever Czaplinski and guess what? I know you were all thinking, like I was, he worked in a prison as a prison guard. Ha ha ha! NOPE. According to his LinkedIn he worked in a prison as a psychologist. Because he's clearly the kind of stable person who needs to be counseling inmates.

Don't worry. He's not there anymore. He's now working with kids.

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"...middle age, balding rich white guy that she finds attractive."

 

I think the bold word is what made them so attractive. Remove it, and not so much.

 

Sisters of the Closet: I too have a box filled with memorabilia, pictures, diaries etc, all precious only to me. Somehow I found the strength and the time to take the box with me each time we moved, 'cause that's what we do if something means a great deal to us.

 

 

I had no idea about the comedy. I would love to see what he does.

 

One thing I know is that he does a great Archie Bunker impersonation.

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Tee- your comparison between MM & JJ is spot on. That's exactly how I see the two and their handling of the cases. . I would add that I think MM gets a better variety of cases; she also is pretty savvy about mechanics, tech and construction. IMO that makes her more capable to be fair.

Personal pet peeve is women that think acting ignorant about how things work is "cute". JJ Used to make me nauseous when she would act like she didn't know how to use a cell phone.

Plus my heart tips to MM also because she's damned hot!

Edited by zillabreeze
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JJ Used to make me nauseousr when she would act like she didn't know how to use a cell phone.

 

 

Well, to be honest, I'm about 20 years younger than JJ and I get completely confounded by my husband's smartphone. My personal cell phone is an old flip model. I still haven't mastered Mr. Ouisch's touch screen thingie on his phone when we're in the car and he hands it to me and asks me to call so-and-so. What's frustrating is that I used to be soo tech-savvy - I mastered the intricacies of the Telex machine at work (look it up, youngsters), not to mention the early VCRs.

 

Anyway, back on topic, I only saw the bush-kicking guy on the preview - we had severe storms that knocked out the power for many hours and my DVR didn't tape that day's episodes. Guess I'll have to wait until next summer when it will be endlessly rerun. :)

 

Oh how I wish I could've seen the mysterious Lisa who was shacking up with 60-something Mr. Stein, who in turn was suing her ex-husband, 67-year-old Mr. Green, father of 7-year-old Luke. I would love to see Lisa - is she a 40-something woman who had Luke late in life? Or is she a younger gold-digging trophy wife?

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I think the sister who got her shoes cut up deserved it. Her older sister was never asked by her parents to remove her one bag out of the house, and maybe she never took those items because she felt they would be safer in her parents house. Younger sister was a brat, and she thought she could pull whatever the hell she wanted and no one would bat an eye, and her parents clearly favor her crazy ass, I think she thought she was sooo cute that JJ would rule in her favor, I took great pleasure in her getting zero for her shoes and her sister getting $4,000!

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Well, to be honest, I'm about 20 years younger than JJ and I get completely confounded by my husband's smartphone. My personal cell phone is an old flip model. I still haven't mastered Mr. Ouisch's touch screen thingie on his phone when we're in the car and he hands it to me and asks me to call so-and-so. What's frustrating is that I used to be soo tech-savvy - I mastered the intricacies of the Telex machine at work (look it up, youngsters), not to mention the early VCRs.

 

Anyway, back on topic, I only saw the bush-kicking guy on the preview - we had severe storms that knocked out the power for many hours and my DVR didn't tape that day's episodes. Guess I'll have to wait until next summer when it will be endlessly rerun. :)

 

Oh how I wish I could've seen the mysterious Lisa who was shacking up with 60-something Mr. Stein, who in turn was suing her ex-husband, 67-year-old Mr. Green, father of 7-year-old Luke. I would love to see Lisa - is she a 40-something woman who had Luke late in life? Or is she a younger gold-digging trophy wife?

I know exactly what you mean. I was on the internet when I was in college in the early '80's. It was called the arpa net and was run under the department of defense. I introduced my husband to computers via my Mac. Now-a-days my husband is my tech guy and I have completely lost track of fixing problems myself.

That said, I bet I am still more savvy than JJ!

Even if Lisa had said child late, there is probably at LEAST a 20 year difference between her and ex.

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That said, I bet I am still more savvy than JJ!

 

I am not more savvy, at least when it comes to communication devices as I own no Ipad, SmartPhone, IPhone...whatever...and even gave up having a cell phone. JJ may feel as I do, that it's just one thing more than I care to learn about.

 

SO, I finally saw Russian Hunk boyfriend. At first I thought the defendant must be rich, but then found out that she's a 50 year old woman who gets arrested for drunk driving, sponges off her friends, 76 year old mother and the taxpayers to support herself. She's "old fashioned" dont you know? Funny way of showing it. Anyway, what on earth was RH b/f doing with her? All I could figure out is that she's been promising him a green card if he makes her happy-happy enough.

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I agree that Russian Hunk was probably looking for a green card and the sight of him pretty much knocked me on my butt.  Despite what we see on JJ, I'm not so quick to say Social Security beneficiaries are sponging off the government though.  I worked for an attorney who did a few SS appeals and one man died while waiting from pancreatitis.  My ex died in Feb and was turned down three times even though he had a 6 mos expectancy and wasn't able to work for over a year.  It baffles me how some of these people qualify, but in my experience it's hard to qualify. 

 

I think JJ is just fine with reading things off of a phone and accepting that as evidence rather than requiring paper documents.  I think it's just that the screens time out before she can read them and every phone is a little different.

Edited by QuelleC
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Younger sister was a brat, and she thought she could pull whatever the hell she wanted and no one would bat an eye, and her parents clearly favor her crazy ass

I'm probably completely wrong and I have no basis for saying this, but I got the idea the older sister might be gay and there was something personal going on there with the spoiled looking younger one.

Edited by QuelleC
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I am an SS beneficiary, and that bugs me about JJ. I have, among other things, gastroporesis, which means that my stomach is paralyzed and I vomit nearly everything I eat. Until getting on a better medication, I fainted every day. I have a genetic disorder that is causing my joints to deteriorate. Nonetheless, even though I am on SSI, I am currently in school, graduate in January of 2016, so I can get off of the system and make something of my life. If JJ took a look at me, she would chastise me because by just *looking* at me, you would never imagine that my life is a daily health struggle. But you needn't be in a wheelchair, an amputee, or elderly to need these benefits or not be a scammer, and I think her years in the family court system jaded her to this fact.

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Mindy, you are one of the very few for which the system was designed. It's all the lazy ass people that makes JJ suspect most are on the dole. I see it everyday...with the same lazy ass people getting their doctors to sign so they can get handicap plates/placards. Meanwhile, the poor folks who really ARE handicapped have to park at the end of the parking lot if they're even lucky enough to find a space.

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I don't thnk she would... When JJ hears a real reason for not working, or even that one is home with kids but other has full time job, she backs off. In your case I think she'd understand. She just sees a lot of scammers, people who shout disability to collect pay but then privately do things like construction on the side.

JJ would, scorn my income even though I have a great title cest last vid.

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Speaking about a Russian looking for a Green Card, the weekend repeat was the Russian Internet Bride, Albina Nuss,  who fraudulated Michael Nuss into marrying her. JJ found in his favor.

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Hey everyone, I've noticed that a lot of you watch several different court shows and have been comparing them to JJ in this thread.  Since the comparisons are become more prevalent, I started a new thread for you guys.  Enjoy.

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milz, I saw the fraudulated guy. I felt really bad for him. I wonder what is going on when a seemingly nice guy has to go to the other side of the world to find a woman.

Did anyone catch the rerun today with shiny suit father? He was hellbent on turning his snowflake's misbehavior and discipline into a financial windfall! What a horrible example. I completely believed the teacher and hoped JJ would award $1.00. Disappointed that shiny suit made $2500.00 on the deal.

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Gah!  It's not "rate of speed," speed is a rate, just say speed.  "He proceeded to move his vehicle in a forward vector at a high rate of speed" does NOT make you sound sophisticated.

 

Miss Kelsey Crane was the first to notice that the case wasn't going to go well.  The camera paused on her face, the discomfiture was beginning to melt her saintly smile.  Then Mr Medina began to panic, lunged for the water, apologized, sweated.  Although he had a gruesome facial injury on his side, JJ was asking too many pesky details - and there is not chance when pitted against an 8 yr's police deposition immediately after the incident.

 

Mr Medina himself agreed with JJ in the hallterview, unwittingly acknowledging that the defendent has "reacted without thinking" - to being assaulted, what else?

Edited by Toaster Strudel
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milz, I saw the fraudulated guy. I felt really bad for him. I wonder what is going on when a seemingly nice guy has to go to the other side of the world to find a woman.

Did anyone catch the rerun today with shiny suit father? He was hellbent on turning his snowflake's misbehavior and discipline into a financial windfall! What a horrible example. I completely believed the teacher and hoped JJ would award $1.00. Disappointed that shiny suit made $2500.00 on the deal.

 

Apparently it's not all right for a teacher to put his hands on a student to keep him from hitting a girl.  smh.

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Gah!  It's not "rate of speed," speed is a rate, just say speed.  "He proceeded to move his vehicle in a forward vector at a high rate of speed" does NOT make you sound sophisticated.

 

 

HA!  I just knew you were wrong because I have said this myself.  BUT turns out you're right.  I am so ashamed!  hee.

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The Texan girl and smirking boyfriend who ran away from the fender bender got what they deserved. The weeping idiot. JJ smacked her down good by saying it wasn't how a lady behaves. She knows how Texans think.

I liked his halterview where he said something like "thanks for doing this to an 18 year old!" because the plaintiff DARED to bring him and 18 year old GF to court to pay for damages.

 

I felt sorry for Mr. Russian Internet Bride, but that whole case was just weird.

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As if an 18-year old who hits a car and then cries has no liability.Um-- NOPE. I cheered when JJ ordered him out of the room. That little girl thought crying would make JJ sorry for her, so delighted to see her smacked down. Bet her daddy tells her to ditch the bf right quick.

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Miss Kelsey Crane was the first to notice that the case wasn't going to go well.

 

And Ms.Crane, who obviously has difficulty controlling her temper is a heathcare worker. Thanks Kelsey, for carrying on the tradition on this show of all "healthcare workers" being nasty, ignorant thugs.

 

After listening to the smarmy, smirking Medina for two minutes I was so wishing he HAD been run over. Hanging out in college towns has done him no good, judging by his incessant "Me and Miss Crane went..." "Me and Miss Crane walked..." and on and on and on. That and his lying weren't bad enough though and he just had to drink of the "Water That Shall Not be Drunk...Drinken...Dranken.." whatever.  What a creep.

 

The lip-chewing, bug-eyed and slack-jawed Taylor needs a good swift kick in the ass. Why on earth does a 25 year old woman who works have to get a credit card from Mommy? To top it off, she has To be Ms Magnanimous and and give it to her 27 year old boyfriend who obviously cannot qualify for his own. I loved how Mommy and Taylor were nearly identical right down to their wonky noses.

Edited by AngelaHunter
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All you missed is some lanky sad sack whose life goal is to own a vintage green VW Beetle

 

The String Bean and the Hobbit, yes, but she wanted her vintage BUG (a word which the Hobbit repeated at least 10 times) pink and black. Im not surprised it never got done, since those two didn't appear as though they had in it in them to load a dishwasher without messing up, never mind restoring an ancient car.

 

 

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I miss my M&M yellow '74 Superbeetle a lot. I sold it for about $500 in the late 90's with a paint job but bad breaks and floor pan and they think theirs in pieces is worth $9,000? They had a '72 Superbeetle.  Which means the windshield is curved and not 4 inches in front of your face.

Edited by QuelleC
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I loved how Judge Judy kept repeating "Picnic Day"! like it was a national holiday.

 

I did cringe when Mr. Medina said "He got out of the car", then corrected himself to proper JJ speak "He exited his vehicle."

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Last week's two older guys fighting over a shared spouse like over-the-hill roosters were an embarrassment to the male gender. It's hard enough to accept that grown men can indulge in such childish and petty behaviour, but they also were stupid enough to willingly have it exposed on national TV? The hallterview was probably revealing as to their motives when one of them said "He is not under my skin, I'm under his skin"; they apparently are under this compulsion to have the world witness who has the upper hand, no matter how inconsequential the issue.

 

However, I thought JJ went overboard when she repeatedly berated one of them for being too old to have a young child; now I do believe that some people abuse too readily their ability to breed as I have said at times to my straight friends, but it is their personal choice and the consequences will fall on them and their family. JJ obsessively passing outraged moral judgement on a personal choice was out of turns.

 

But it was another demonstration of how her alleged bullshit detector is often out of whack and is in need of major tuning; it clearly suffers interference from her prejudices, ignorance and outdated notions of how contemporary society works.

 

Take for instance how she treated the Russian-born plaintiff last week; true, her story was far from well presented, but JJ should not have constantly interrupted her just because she was annoyed by her accent and her problems with structuring her case. I know that the show is not really about sound judicial decisions based on solid case law and is designed mostly for entertainment, but JJ could try harder to preserve appearances and some veneer of believability.

 

Same thing happened today when she took a quick dislike to the young man who was injured at Picnic Day, since she sees youths as drunken bums who are always out to cause trouble; the way she repeated "Picnic Day" you could just imagine what kind of orgiastic revels she fantasizes go on at such Bacchanals. I did not find the guy who went all Rambo with the knife to protect the precious fruit of his loins (perhaps he is proof that JJ is right after all and that old people should not have children) any more credible. As for the daughter who talked to the police, I think the father had plenty of time to coach his chid on what to say.

 

The credit card Mamma was a bit pathetic; she was so convinced by the rigid correctness of her analysis of the situation i.e. that he stole the credit card and had to reimburse everything, that she obviously was intellectually incapable of following JJ's explanation. Her daughter has to be one of the more immediately loathsome people to appear on TV in quite some time.

Edited by Florinaldo
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However, I thought JJ went overboard when she repeatedly berated one of them for being too old to have a young child; now I do believe that some people abuse too readily their ability to breed as I have said at times to my straight friends, but it is their personal choice and the consequences will fall on them and their family. JJ obsessively passing outraged moral judgement on a personal choice was out of turns.

 

But it was another demonstration of how her alleged bullshit detector is often out of whack and is in need of major tuning; it clearly suffers interference from her prejudices, ignorance and outdated notions of how contemporary society works.

 

 

Florinaldo, I have to side with JJ on this one. Down in Palm Beach, she probably knows loads of rich middle-aged (and older) guys with trophy wives and small children. I think that if Mr. Green and Mr. Stein had acted like adults -- not younger than seven-year-old Luke -- she would have no problem with them. Instead, they come to television court to air their voicemail messages and dirty laundry. That is what disgusted JJ.

 

Like some others have mentioned upthread, I was dying to see Lisa, the woman who found both of these nimrods irresistible!! And I also thought it was funny that we could see firsthand the "type" she goes for. Green and Stein could have been long-lost brothers!!

 

(edited for intocats' lousy punctuation)

Edited by Intocats
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I think if Mr. Green and Mr. Stein had acted like adults, not younger than seven-year-old Luke, she would have no problem with them. Instead, they come to television court to air their voicemail messages and dirty laundry. That is what disgusted JJ.

 

Totally agree. I'm surprised they weren't engaged in Facebook Battling and "I know you are but what am I? BIg doody head!" taunting. I just wish they had gotten into an old man fight during the show. JJ could have said, "Byrd, do me a favour. Go over there and kick both those old fools' asses."

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Gf gives moms credit card to BF.

The mom's comment in the halter view, sadly my daughter learned not to be so trusting.

WTF! since when is that a bad thing to learn?

I think moms rage was focused on the BF because otherwise she had to face the fact that her daughter took advantage of her either thru stupidity or worse deliberately.

Edited by iwasish
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My aunt owned a Beetle. It was yellow. So I can't imagine a pink and black one (red and black like a ladybug maybe, pink and black, no).

 

Cow-eyes drove me nuts! She looked more scary than cute. Mom was pissed because Cow eyes was stupid letting BF use the credit card and Mom was taking it out on BF.

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