All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[27bored]

Laughed my ass off when JJ mentioned him giving her a wide eyed look.  Good times! 

He looked at JJ like she just asked him "what that mouth do?"

[BubblingKettle]

Really? He vaguely reminded me of a Star Trek alien, athough I can't say which kind. Maybe a Romulan?

I think his HD eyebrows may have been giving you that Star Trek feeling....those were powerfully manicured brows.  I think what gave my initial Mr. Lloyd-cute as a button impression was due to the fact that he looked like he tried to put together an outfit, ironed it, went to the barber (not in that order).  There are so many slobs on JJ that, sadly, I mistook groomed for cute.  :/

[AngelaHunter]

I think his HD eyebrows may have been giving you that Star Trek feeling....

 

...and the HD pointed ears.

[Ouisch]

I must admit that during the Jackson v Lloyd case, I was equally mesmerized by the Plaintiff's Barney Google eyes and the Defendant's extra-wide necktie. Yeah, his outfit was dapper and color-coordinated, but, man, that tie knot was as wide as his jawline!

[mtbingmom]

RE: The aunt in the bullying case whose name was Charity Spargo. Every time the announcer said it, it sounded like Charity Sparkle.

Wait! That wasn't her name? I was in and out so I never saw the name on screen.

[Rick Kitchen]

I was mesmerized by the down turned mouth of the woman who allowed 17 year old girls to get drunk at her house. I thought at first she was about 50 years old, and the mouth had been worn down by a sad life. Shocked to learn that she was only about 24. It bugged me more than the guy with the death stare wonky eyes. It was really an upside down U shaped mouth. 

 

My first thought was "Man, she's led a hard life!"

[Trini]

Crazy bug eyes? Woo! It must be sweeps! Next week(s?) is going to be awesome.

[iwasish]

Today: The Truth Machine at her best, beating the truth out of a bunch of trashy teenagers and their trashy moms. A weepy bullied girl, her smirking bully, a my-little-angel-can-do-no-wrong mother, lots of blood, and a huge lady brawl somwhere in between getting cigs at the Walgreen's and the Dairy Queen.

When JJ is on her game, I actually find myself getting sweaty palms and wanting to confess to all the crappy shit I did as a kid.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

I went out of town on Friday and I have Mr Big Eyes Jackson on my DVR for my perusal. I can't wait! Although y'all kept calling him Mr. Jackson and those two pictures reminded me of Michael Jackson in the Thriller video (You know the part, where he turns into a Zombie and starts his dance and tips his head to one side?) Although Senor Shade below is cracking me up.

Cool Whip I confess I'm a Lookie Loo. My neighbor's teenage son has gotten mixed up in some trouble and I found myself standing on tip-toe peeking out my peephole while the mother and brother of some girl were arguing with him half in Creole and half in English this afternoon - I heard something about keys, something about a dog and something about a girl - the rest was gooble-de-gook but certainly entertaining as I Spied With My Little Eye.

Edited February 2, 2015 by ItsHelloPattiagain

[Zahdii]

 

 

I went out of town on Friday and I have Mr Big Eyes Jackson on my DVR for my perusal. I can't wait! Although y'all kept calling him Mr. Jackson and those two pictures reminded me of Michael Jackson in the Thriller video (You know the part, where he turns into a Zombie and starts his dance and tips his head to one side?) Although Senor Shade below is cracking me up.

 

Cool Whip I confess I'm a Lookie Loo. My neighbor's teenage son has gotten mixed up in some trouble and I found myself standing on tip-toe peeking out my peephole while the mother and brother of some girl were arguing with him half in Creole and half in English this afternoon - I heard something about keys, something about a dog and something about a girl - the rest was gooble-de-gook but certainly entertaining as I Spied With My Little Eye.

 

 

Oops.  You missed your response to the quote.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

somehow I managed to quote myself - guess that's what happens when the zombies start popping out on JJ. 

[Milz]

Regarding the Man with the Bulging Eyes, did JJ ask if he was on medications and did he reply "yes"? I was multitasking and I think I heard that come from my tv (unlike Toaster, I don't have the power of direct reception).

[designing1]

You heard correctly.

[Milz]

You heard correctly.

 

Wow  =8-o)

[designing1]

Well to be fair that's a pretty open-ended question. Sure she means "are you on any mind/mood altering substances" but if people are sworn to tell truth (I know, I know, JJ's show is home base for lying liars who lie) and they're taking thyroid medication (as Big Eyes probably should be) the answer would be still be 'yes'. She doesn't give them time to state what medications they're taking, or if she does, it's edited out for effect. Then conclusions can be jumped to that the litigant is under the influence.

[Talented Tenth]

The first case was an old, old rerun. The case with the dog attacking the lady's dog and she poke-stabbed it 16 times. Poor lady. JJ calling the guy a moron was pretty nasty and why I have a hard time watching her sometimes. You don't know the kid from Adam; stop being judgmental. 

 

If he had owned up and taken responsibility for his negligence, he wouldn't have been on Judge Judy to be called a moron.

 

Ok I think I watched all the episodes that should have had one toilet seat facial hair dude. But I just didn't see it. Was it the marijuana case? Or the case where JJ had the plaintiff's mother speak to him? All I kept visualizing was urinals for some reason. The seat just wasn't coming into view for my mind. 

 

I think the mother whispered: Stop being a wiseguy you dipshit. 

 

It's interesting that the young man with the facial hair is being ridiculed for a trait natural to the male human species just because it isn't popular in American culture.  I agree, that the mother probably told her son to knock off his "wiseguy" act.

 

Now see I hope the exact opposite.  That a potential employer was watching and said um, he’s a liar and stupid and then he lied about being stupid, so maybe not so much with this guy’s application. 

 

People can always turn their lives around and we all need money to live in America.  It was obvious to me that he didn't have much money and I think he was just scared of the consequences when he fled.  It doesn't make it right, but I understand.  It wasn't a case of someone simply not wanting to take responsibility, IMO.  Being in the situation he was in at 19 years old, it's clear he wasn't set up for a successful life, but hopefully he will get it together.

 

Log Attack - I loved the teenager that was enjoying his mother getting a well-deserved dress down from JJ over her having gratuitous, trivial, nasty-mouthed arguments with her neighbor. 

 

It was crazy to me that her son was laughing at her.  It's clear he has no idea what loyalty is.

 

Sorry CWL - truthfully I only looked at the top few rows of that page.  I was taught if you can see the white completely around the iris it is exophthalmos .  

 

I can't bring myself to make fun of someone with a medical condition.  He did confirm to Judge Judy that he takes prescribed medication.  I thought she was out of line to tell him he was looking at her very "wide-eyed".

[NowVoyager]

Did anyone else watch Old Fool v. Bleach Blonde Blowout aka Crackhead v. Crackhead?

Have I been watching these shows too long? OF seemed rather calm & rational as he explained so many things that made zero sense. And BBB seemed to be aging rather well for a crackhead. Also, she was going through a divorce, yet she's still married? Her husband was rather calm as the plantiff described his wife as a crackho.

Ohhhh!!! Now Triple Espresso is starting. Been waiting for this all weekend.....

Edited to add:Aw, man! What a day to not have a repeat! That was so good I could totally watch it again. Cannot believe TE passed that drug test. Actually it's really sad that that's how she has to go through life. What a mess!

Edited February 2, 2015 by NowVoyager

[califred]

It's comedy gold today. The quintuple espresso needs an anger management class.

[QuinnM]

I'm so excited about hair flipping crazy girl today I can hardly make my tea.

[27bored]

I spent the whole episode coming up with bad porn names for the bleached blonde sugar baby. Here's my top 5:

 

Sydney Sinz

Chrissy Lane

Sara Cummings

Zoe Coxx

VISA Green dot get-your-tax-return-sooner

 

OK, so they weren't all winners.

 

But y'all...shit. For real. I don't appreciate one of you going on JJ trolling her ass and me and America on this breezy Monday afternoon. I DON'T APPRECIATE IT. I'm trying to make tacos for dinner and shit and I can't because somebody had the bright idea to go on JJ and do their best Drunk Girl from SNL impression bitch and I don't like it.

 

So which one of you is Sarah Jones? Time to fess up! Because you know damn well that was some bullshit. Baby, I laid out in floor when they showed her name and said "Passed drug test" underneath. I was done! I just can't do it. And I wont. I halfway expected that bitch to be like, "BAKING SODA I GOT BAKING SODA".

[Puffaroo]

 

Did anyone else watch Old Fool v. Bleach Blonde Blowout aka Crackhead v. Crackhead?

 

Do you think all of that was her own hair?  I was wondering if it was a (bad) wig, to help hide her identity.

[AngelaHunter]

Shannon, are you fucking kidding us? JJ was hypnotized and  I was so bedazzled by your hamster-on-crack act that I can't even....whoa!

 

This is allowed to drive a car? A 26K car when she's a "student"? I bought a 2014 car last year and it didn't cost that much and I didn't even need anyone to scam a loan company for me. I can't help but wonder why the hell the def. would do this for her. I might normally think it's because she gives world-class head, but in this case you'd think he'd be afraid she'd bite it off.

 

Shannon has severe breathing problems but can rant at high volume for five minutes straight without taking one of those valulable breaths?  I was exhausted after watching her.

 

Then we had Dirty Disgusting Sanchez, who stole 4K from his minor stepdaughter. He stood there in his raggedy teeshirt trying to formulate a defense that would make him look less like the POS he is. No, Sanchez, the bank "ain't liable" for your scuzzy actions. We need to know if a police report was filed against him. I do hope so.

 

I'm saving Bleach Blonde Blowout for later. There's only so much joy I can take at one time.

[Puffaroo]

I'm so excited about hair flipping crazy girl today I can hardly make my tea.

 

I've been calling her Five-Shot Motormouth.

 

JJ was smart to stop trying to get her to shut up and to just let her ramble on.  Simple for her, entertaining for us.

[Brattinella]

Then we had Dirty Disgusting Sanchez, who stole 4K from his minor stepdaughter.

 

ROFLMAO!

 

Sorry I missed this one.

[QuinnM]

 

Then we had Dirty Disgusting Sanchez, who stole 4K from his minor stepdaughter.

 

He had a very unique case.  He actually felt really bad that he messed up and stole her money.  That was unusual.  Ate all my popcorn so now I have to watch the dirty old man with the mutual friend crack dealer introduction to blondie.

 

Where do they get these people?  I live in MN, land of 10,000 landlord/tennet craziness.

[Toaster Strudel]

It must be rating sweeps!

 

BSC Eyelash Extensions - Really?  Expresso?  Really?  Not, like, say, speed?  This woman was such a screwball, JJ had to interrupt the case to have her drug tested!  For real!  Did they really drug tested her, or just got her to calm down to just under 20,000 volts?  I have so many questions.  Why would this guy put a brand new car for her in his name?  She's nuts!  Did he get laid at least?  Yeah I know, her credit was horrid (surprise, surprise!), of course, but what's in it for him?  She's completely Board-Certified Bonkers.  All those parking tickets and moving violations?  And of course she let the insurance run out.  I loved the hallterview where the defendant revealed that she threatened to drive the car until it was impounded or repo'd.  OMG, the eyerolls, the hands in the air, the clutching of invisible jail bars, the finger waving, the profanity, the begging and the pleading at 100 mph!  Rating sweeps gold.

 

Untrustworthy Trustee - I love it when JJ rips shitty parents (or step-parents in this case) a fresh new one.  The beauty of this is that the loser defendant stepfater blamed the bank for taking $4000 out of his stepdaughter's trust fund.  First, the bank tempted him.  Like the devil took on the form of a snake, and shapeshifted into a reptilian teller: "Wouldssss yousss likessss to takessss outssss sssssome moneyssss?"  Did he ask whether he should be suing the bank now?  Hot damn.  Second, it was the bank's fault for giving him the money even though he had no right to it.  Bad bank.  Bad bad bad bad bank.

 

Julune - "Julune" is a mythical month that sneaks in between June and July.  Mark your calendars!  "Julune" is also firmly between May and December.  Thought of the day: There is no fool like a crack smoking, gambling, shepherd-boy rooming, ho-infatuated fool.  This one was as tawdry as they get.  I am glad that JJ was amused by these two degenerates.  What did it take for the old fool to see the light about his plastic crack addicted paramour?  When she wouldn't put his dirty laundry in the machine!  If she had washed his stinky socks, he'd still be giving her crack money and gambling the rest.  Valentine's day is coming up, what is more romantic than this venerable Romeo buying his no-driver's-license Juliet a car that she wrecked a couple of weeks after she got it, some time in Julune?  So touching.  Did you say touching? $40!

Edited February 2, 2015 by Toaster Strudel

[Florinaldo]

JJ described the relationship between Old Gambling Geezer and the Bonde Moocher with the ugly roots as "symbionic". She probably has been watching too many Six Million Dollar Man DVDs,

 

She should learn to avoid scientific or technical terminology.

[27bored]

Julune - "Julune" is a mythical month that sneaks in between June and July.  Mark your calendars!  "Julune" is also firmly between May and December.

 

And just a few months after Smarch. Remember Home Simpson hates that Smarch weather.

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

loser defendant stepfater blamed the bank for taking $4000 out of his stepdaughter's trust fund.  First, the bank tempted him.  Like the devil took on the form of a snake, and shapeshifted into a reptilian teller: "Wouldssss yousss likessss to takessss outssss sssssome moneyssss?"

 

ToasterStrudel, dearly as I love your recaps, I'm going to have to take a break from reading them. This much hilarity in one day is more than I can be expected to take.

 

Must address this:

 

I was wondering if it was a (bad) wig, to help hide her identity.

 

We've seen some horrific wigs on this show, but I really doubt anyone sells them so fried and with green roots.

Edited February 2, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[patty1h]

I get the distinct impression that if the blonde moocher called Mayer Landy tomorrow, he's so whipped that he'd open his wallet again.

[AZChristian]

Been busy and out of town, so  not online much.  But I just had to come here to read all of the comments about the 5-shots-of-espresso lady.

 

Looney Tunes!!!!

[Zahdii]

I hope someone puts motormouth on Youtube, as just as the case was starting I got company and they didn't leave until just before thieving former stepfather came on and tried to justify his actions.

[BubblingKettle]

Also, she was going through a divorce, yet she's still married? Her husband was rather calm as the plantiff described his wife as a crackho.

And he was over there yukking it up while she said that she was living with some other guy for a time (while still being married to him).  He probably laughed at her prior charge of shoplifting, too.  The Old Fool was a complete perv.  He stunk of desperation....desperate for money to gamble, desperate to be liked by Mrs. Sesto so he did crack...WTH???!!  I loved JJ and Byrd's sidebar comments.

 

Shannon has severe breathing problems but can rant at high volume for five minutes straight without taking one of those valulable breaths?  I was exhausted after watching her.

My thoughts exactly.  She expended so much forced air yammering on.  And her drug test was clean because she abuses prescription drugs that don't create red flags on drug tests -- duh.  Behind those cheap false eyelashes were gigantic pupils.  Also,she reminded me of one of those photo timelines of "the faces of meth," even though she surely abuses pharmacy-grade stuff washed down with "5 shots" of hard liquor.  Why the hell did JJ let her roll on?  She should have been shut down the first time she yelled, "You're not listening to me!"  Even Judge Greg Mathis dismissed a case (on contempt) because one of the litigants wouldn't STFU.  I have to admit --- this case was just too much for me....Shannon Jones was too out of control, and JJ gave her far too much freedom in the courtroom.  We weren't given the satisfaction of JJ putting her on Front Street.  I tune in for Judge Judy's show, not Shannon Jones' extended monologue.

 

Untrustworthy Trustee - I love it when JJ rips shitty parents (or step-parents in this case) a fresh new one.  The beauty of this is that the loser defendant stepfater blamed the bank for taking $4000 out of his stepdaughter's trust fund.  First, the bank tempted him.  Like the devil took on the form of a snake, and shapeshifted into a reptilian teller: "Wouldssss yousss likessss to takessss outssss sssssome moneyssss?"  Did he ask whether he should be suing the bank now?  Hot damn.  Second, it was the bank's fault for giving him the money even though he had no right to it.  Bad bank.  Bad bad bad bad bank.

Toaster Strudel - your whole post has me in stitches!  That stepfather was a real scumbag.  And he looked filthy, like he had just been cleaning the garage.  Oh, and his crocodile tears in the hallway.  He, like Shannon Jones, used the "I've been ill" excuse.  Wait a minute, Sanchez - I thought it was the bank's fault that you withdrew and spent that money.  Neither excuse worked, you dirtbag.  I have never met (or had) a stepfather who is a truly sane, stand-up guy.  I'm sure they exist, but they are a rarity.

[Quof]

Oh, FFS. Between football and the weather, both episodes of JJ have been pre-empted at least 5 times in the last two weeks.  It sucks getting our feed from Boston.

[Toaster Strudel]

Oh, FFS. Between football and the weather, both episodes of JJ have been pre-empted at least 5 times in the last two weeks.  It sucks getting our feed from Boston.

 

WOW - missing today's cases... that's a national tragedy equivalent to 7 feet of snow!  Priorities, priorities.

 

[Quof]

Presactly.  I'm in Canada; I don't give a tiny rat's hiney about football, or the weather in Boston.

[AngelaHunter]

Why the hell did JJ let her roll on?  She should have been shut down the first time she yelled, "You're not listening to me!"

 

I really think the force and speed of the rant, accompanied by the windmilling arms, and the sight of those blown-out pupils behind the giant fake lashes incapacitated JJ.

 

I know I have a friend (EX-friend) who could talk so long and so fast that I was often rendered catatonic, staring blankly and unable to speak by the time she wound down.

[how55]

Wow, I think I was exhausted from 5 Expresso Shot litigant. JJ never has that much patience. The staff must have been whispering in her earpiece to keep it going for Sweeps Gold.

We had snow & ice here in NY and I don't think at this point that CBS2 would've dared pre-empt again to show us their weather maps at every different angle.

[Blue Plastic]

That guy who let Five Shots finance a car under his name looked so tired as she stood there and ranted about "the BMW" and "the Honda."  What did this BMW have to do with the price of tea in China?  I couldn't even understand what she was talking about.  Like others, I am very surprised that JJ allowed her to continue on to that degree.  Sure would like to know why the hell that guy ever let himself get involved with Five Shots.  I guess it was probably sex but I don't see the appeal.  I don't even see why anyone would want to be her totally platonic friend, either.  She said she was "always like this."  She should be driving people away in droves.  Small children should be running away in fright.

 

I accidentally erased the other episode from today so sadly can't comment on it but did watch one from a few days ago with the buggy-eyed rental plaintiff.  I hope he has gotten his thyroid checked.

[AngelaHunter]

I"m with JJ in being very surprised at the facts in the Raddled Sugar Daddy vs. Bleached Out Bimbo. Wow. First of all, that crack must be a hell of a drug. I was mostly shocked when Mr. Landy said he's 72, and looks like he's in his late 90s or early 100s at least.

 

I was expecting the usual "dirty old man lusts after young thing, gives money, gets no sugar." But this tale was so much more sordid. I loved how the savagely bleached Ms. Sesto complained about how dirty old man sexually harassed her for twelve years, but she never thought of leaving his shady employ/drug emporium. He has a live-in dealer! It just kept getting better and better. He admitted she'd let him fondle her with his liver spotted hands for pay!

 

Even Byrd looked vaguely interested in all the monkeyshines he was hearing about.

[ZaldamoWilder]

People can always turn their lives around and we all need money to live in America.  It was obvious to me that he didn't have much money and I think he was just scared of the consequences when he fled.  It doesn't make it right, but I understand.  It wasn't a case of someone simply not wanting to take responsibility, IMO.  Being in the situation he was in at 19 years old, it's clear he wasn't set up for a successful life, but hopefully he will get it together.

 

He crashed into another driver, got out of his car and literally ran from the scene.  If shirking responsibility has an alternate definition, I've got my listening ears on.  The guy may have a perfectly marketable skill, but what he's proven (twice) that he does not possess is any type of reasonably decent judgement.   It doesn't cost any money not to lie.  On film.

 

Shannon, are you fucking kidding us? JJ was hypnotized and  I was so bedazzled by your hamster-on-crack act that I can't even....whoa!

 

This is allowed to drive a car? A 26K car when she's a "student"? I bought a 2014 car last year and it didn't cost that much and I didn't even need anyone to scam a loan company for me. I can't help but wonder why the hell the def. would do this for her. I might normally think it's because she gives world-class head, but in this case you'd think he'd be afraid she'd bite it off.

 

Shannon has severe breathing problems but can rant at high volume for five minutes straight without taking one of those valulable breaths?  I was exhausted after watching her.

 

Then we had Dirty Disgusting Sanchez, who stole 4K from his minor stepdaughter. He stood there in his raggedy teeshirt trying to formulate a defense that would make him look less like the POS he is. No, Sanchez, the bank "ain't liable" for your scuzzy actions. We need to know if a police report was filed against him. I do hope so.

 

All this here?  Ritalin and baths right away please.

Edited February 3, 2015 by ZaldamoWilder

[NYCFree]

After old guy/recent crack covert first admitted he met the plaintiff because she introduced him to crack, I paused the TV and turned to my son and said "I did NOT expect that." Two minutes later Judge Judy said the same thing. Like Toaster Strudel, I'm now hearing Judge Judy directly in my brain.

[teebax]

Every time I tell myself I need to scale back the JJ viewing and do something more productive after my daily dose of Jeopardy she has an episode block that draws my vulnerable ass right back in. Good God. Today's new episodes were epic. Epic!

That sly fox has been saving some doozies for February sweeps. I don't even know where to begin, but I will say I knew as I was watching that I'd have to pop the Bluetooth keyboard onto my iPad for all I wanted to say. A touch keyboard would not suffice tonight. The funny thing is I was so busy at work today I didn't get a chance to read Toaster's always awesome recaps, so I was completely surprised when I watched tonight.

The Honda case was one for the ages, and I am thrilled, thrilled I tell you that JJ let the madness take over for a change. You cannot harness that kind of cray cray. You just gotta let it run its course. I only drink decaf, and I felt like I'd had five shots of espresso after watching that plaintiff. And she said she's always like that? Girlfriend needs to slow down with the pills and also stop driving. She's from Boston. Don't that have a pretty decent subway there called the T or something like that?

I sympathize with anyone who has a medical condition, but my sympathy ends when said condition is used as an excuse for bad, irresponsible behavior. Instead of putting $9,000 down on the Honda, why didn't she put a little less down and save some of that money for her next medical emergency? Hell, she could have prepaid the car insurance for a year.

And there's no excuse for racking up that much in tickets. Just irresponsible all around. Of course that's also reflected by her credit score. If you have a down payment that hefty and still can't get approved for a car loan, your credit is jacked the fuck up. Majorly. Another thing she could have done with her $9K is buy a decent used car. Why would someone whose finances are so precarious due to health issues think they need a brand new Acord? And she had a BMW prior to that? Girl needs to check her priorities.

I'll comment on the geriatric crackhead later. I need to re-watch that one and take it all in.

The trust-raiding ex-stepfather garners no sympathy for me, despite his crocodile tears. He knew what he did was wrong as he was doing it. And he did it anyway. I'm glad JJ put some strings on the verdict. He belongs in jail.

[Florinaldo]

The staff must have been whispering in her earpiece to keep it going for Sweeps Gold.

As I was watching JJ looking impassively at the ranting Shannon, my thoughts were that she knows exactly what makes for good TV on her show and she was thinking that this is destined to be a much discussed repeat clip, which is why she let that loony go on and on.

 

That sleazebag stepfather couldn't even keep his excuses straight; he did it because he was sick, because the bank forced the money on him, because he was expecting money from his mother's estate, etc, but never because he is just a bargain-basement thief. I did wonder why the plaintiff did not file a complaint with the police; it sounded like she got bad advice or wonky info from the police station, unless the family simply decided JJ was the easier no-pain route (she screwed them a bit on that front) or would bring more shame to the guy.

Edited February 3, 2015 by Florinaldo

[AngelaHunter]

And there's no excuse for racking up that much in tickets.

 

But Shannon has an excuse. She's fucking nuts AND hopped up on some sort of substance besides espresso.

 

Dirty Sanchez's display of contrition in the hall? I perked up because I thought he might bust a blood vessel right before our eyes as he strained mightily to try and squeeze out a tear.

[iwasish]

The blonde who scanned the old crackhead... How old was she? She knew him twelve years since she was 21 or she's 21 and has known him since she was twelve? No way is she 21 or 33.

[Guest]

She's completely Board-Certified Bonkers.

I don't disagree with that but I wonder if she's, like, bonkers bonkers, or bonkers for the sake of making herself a stah with the repo'd cah? I mean the whole, "my mom wants your autograph" and the "five shots of espresso?" Meh. Also she sure had enough money to pay for that Zoom teeth whitening -- maybe she should have paid her tickets with the cash instead.

And FINALLY! Someone actually took a drug test! Granted, it wasn't the vaunted "hair follicle test," but it's a start.

Honestly, I really wanted to fast forward this episode even before the first commercial break. That girl was atrocious.

[SandyToes]

And wasn't Five Shots a FRESHMAN?  Did I see that?  Now I know freshmen come in all shapes, sizes and ages, but assuming she's a relative "youngster" - how does her credit get so bad, so soon?  She must have really worked at it. Of course, when one moves/talks at the speed of light, I guess life does go by pretty fast. And yes, we did comment on those brilliant teeth here in the Toes household.

 

I did appreciate how well she spaced out (ha!) her tickets - all over the state, it sounded like. No favoritism on her part, no sirree!

 

You cannot know how despondent I am that I missed the first show. Sweeps.  Durh.  Got the DVR loaded for both tomorrow....

[Trini]

It's comedy gold today.

 

HOLY CRAP. I forgot how craziballs sweeps week could be!

 

Why would this guy put a brand new car for her in his name?  She's nuts!  Did he get laid at least?  Yeah I know, her credit was horrid (surprise, surprise!), of course, but what's in it for him?  She's completely Board-Certified Bonkers. 

 

I didn't get it. I mean, clearly, this was who she is, and I don't think she was any different before, so why'd he agree to this?? Also, I'm thinking she has adult ADHD.

 

And I'm not even sure what to say about the 72-year-old + Crackho "case". It started off weird, and kept getting worse with each new detail! I don't know why the defendant agreed to come on TV, if she was so "embarrassed". I think she had hair extensions, not a wig.

[Ouisch]

This must be one of the times Mayer Landy had to give Miss Jami Crackhead some bail money. She doesn't look quite as hot in her mug shot. According to the local court docket, his case against her in small claims court will be heard next week. After 10 years of $60 touches, Mr. Landy is awfully bitter and vengeful suddenly.