Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Betweenyouandme]

I guess part of my issue is that I have been living in Fairfax County, Va, and at least a couple of my friends are millionaires, (not the children of millionaires) and they are not in need of anything, but it is still fun to get together to celebrate a baby coming. We aren't usually having showers where you smell the melted candy bar in the diaper, but if that's the kind of shower the mother wanted, we do it in good fun. I think all babies should be welcomed, and in our culture, that's done with showers and gifts. I'm fine with that.

I'm a child of a multimillionaire in TX who funds everything I do and want (unsure of how this distinction matters but anyway/full disclosure.....). I don't find it fun or necessary, so I won't be having a shower. However, I don't begrudge Jill, or other people with money, for having showers at all. If Jill is kindly accepting offers from other for showers, it doesn't bother me. I'd think that she has also been to showers where she was the one to give a gift. I can recognize that my choice would be different from Jill's but still not see hers as "wrong."

Hopefully the people doing it for Jill are doing it because they want to do it. I don't think that just because Jill has money she can't accept gifts. I think it would be great if she donated to mothers of a low income, but I see that as separate from friends/acquaintances willingly giving her baby presents they presumably bought with their own money. I'd be a little offended if I bought Jill a gift (if I knew her personally), and it was made known afterward to me that it was donated. I'd rather know beforehand if that was the case. Yes, what I would buy might be different (unisex/necessity).

[msblossom]

Does Jill "have money", as in wealth? I don't think so. Her parents have it, and obviously love her, but I don't think they are throwing a bunch of money in her bank account. I think she and Derick are comfortable financially, for lack of a better term, bc a) they are probably paying minimal rent to JB b) Derick makes a fair salary as an entry level accountant (probably in the neighborhood of 36-40k) c) they're most likely getting some kind of TLC income, not sure how much, but again this season is heavy Jill & Derick centered so I'm guessing they're getting at least 50k for themselves (surely JB has negotiated at least 3x that for himself, and Jessa & Ben probably get 40k).

The most important point is the people throwing the showers are doing bc they want to. Derick's co-workers threw him a little work shower. Jill's clients threw her a shower. Now the church that Derick has membership in throws a shower. I see no problem with it. It's not like J & D are asking people to do it. It's seems normal to me.

[Barb23]

Will we have to suffer thru an episode of the "littles" raising their own money to buy a second hand baby gift for Dilly at the thrift store like they did for Marcus?

[trimthatfat]

It's noble and all when people ask for donations in their name rather than gifts, but I am not going to shame someone who is wealthy and is given gifts for a wedding/baby. I also don't think Jill should have to donate the gifts she receives. Noble, again, if she does, but she shouldn't feel like she has to. I personally would be very annoyed if I gave someone a gift for their baby and they just donated it without even telling me that they didn't want it/need it.

 

I think it's pretty telling that Derick's coworkers and church have thrown showers for Jill and Derick. Clearly, they are well-liked by those who know them well and people want to celebrate with them as they welcome their first baby. I think Derick and Jill should be able to enjoy every shower thrown in their honor.

Edited March 10, 2015 by trimthatfat

[satrunrose]

I wish I had more information so I could decide what I feel about all Jill's showers. For example, if Derrick's co-workers were really insistant about having a shower for these "sweet, young newly-weds who are so excited about their first child" (or, more cynically, because they figured the cameras would be rolling and wanted fifteen minutes of fame), then it would have been rude for D. and J. to refuse. On the other hand, if Jill has been showing up with Derrick's lunch everyday and dropping hints like anvils about how showers are so totally neat then... yeah...

[DangerousMinds]

There are just so many new moms (at least around here) that literally have nothing. Being so Christian and all, it just astounds me that they would want to receive and keep so many baby gifts that they don't need.

[Absolom]

Wasn't it Jill who had dozens of towels on her wedding registry?  We talked about if she was going to do midwifery at the house to need so many towels.  Yet, in the article they gave her towels along with the birthing pool and liner so she'd be prepared for the birth.  I can't imagine how many towels she thinks she's going to need.

Edited March 10, 2015 by Absolom

[msblossom]

Maybe the towels are on rotation between births <eyeroll>.

[Ilovemylabs]

I'm a child of a multimillionaire in TX who funds everything I do and want (unsure of how this distinction matters but anyway/full disclosure.....). I don't find it fun or necessary, so I won't be having a shower. However, I don't begrudge Jill, or other people with money, for having showers at all. If Jill is kindly accepting offers from other for showers, it doesn't bother me. I'd think that she has also been to showers where she was the one to give a gift. I can recognize that my choice would be different from Jill's but still not see hers as "wrong."

Hopefully the people doing it for Jill are doing it because they want to do it. I don't think that just because Jill has money she can't accept gifts. I think it would be great if she donated to mothers of a low income, but I see that as separate from friends/acquaintances willingly giving her baby presents they presumably bought with their own money. I'd be a little offended if I bought Jill a gift (if I knew her personally), and it was made known afterward to me that it was donated. I'd rather know beforehand if that was the case. Yes, what I would buy might be different (unisex/necessity).

Yes, I think I would like to know that my gift was used by the recipient.  I imagine they are receiving tons of stuff.  Wouldn't it be nice if this couple donated a lot of the duplicates and extras to some organization that could distribute it to those in need?  And wouldn't it be nicer still if they did it without fanfare and requested that they remain anonymous?  Fat chance I suppose!

[Ljohnson1987]

Jill posted a picture of a baby that she helped deliver, and people were freaking out that it was King Dilly. I thought Jill had put her midwifery "Career" on hold when she got knocked up.

[GEML]

There are just so many new moms (at least around here) that literally have nothing. Being so Christian and all, it just astounds me that they would want to receive and keep so many baby gifts that they don't need.

I will say that every woman who is part of a church in most of the south that I grew up in will have a shower thrown for her by that church. In fact, I've known more than one woman who started coming to church simply to get a shower. There really are Christian responses to welcoming new babies, and it doesn't have to be about asking people to make a donation to a cause - plenty of people give to mothers who literally "have nothing."

[flyingdi]

Yes, I think I would like to know that my gift was used by the recipient. I imagine they are receiving tons of stuff. Wouldn't it be nice if this couple donated a lot of the duplicates and extras to some organization that could distribute it to those in need? And wouldn't it be nicer still if they did it without fanfare and requested that they remain anonymous? Fat chance I suppose!

Maybe they are donating stuff. If they did it anonymously, we would have no way of knowing. I certainly don't believe they show everything they do on tv.

Edited March 10, 2015 by flyingdi

[GEML]

I will be honest, I received a ton of things for my wedding and pregnancies, and I did donate a lot of it. But there is no way in the world I would have told anyone who gave me a gift that. I made sure every thank you note sounded as though it was the best gift I had ever received. Of course, I had a Southern grandmother who made me read Emily Post's book of etiquette - the 1960 version, because that was the one Jackie Kennedy would have used. (Yes, JK was a northerner. It's all very confusing....). I realize Jill has some big gaps in her upbringing, but even I have a hard time thinking she would be gauche enough to say thank you for the gift - I'm going to donate it.

I do think she might have a sister write thank you notes though. And I also notice that a lot of Millennials use printed thank yous or photo cards. I think that's wrong, but then, not everyone has the benefits of Jackie's instructions. It's hard to single out Jill or Jessa when nearly everyone their age does something similar. (If they send a thank you at all.)

[msblossom]

In fact, I've known more than one woman who started coming to church simply to get a shower.

That made me LOL! :)

Off topic: That reminds me about reading something several years ago about Nadya Suleman (Octomom) who started attending a very large church in Southern California to get help from their benevolence fund, which they were happy to do in the beginning until they noticed she was regularly photographed at Starbucks, nail salons, Suntan City and the like.

Edited March 10, 2015 by msblossom

[NikSac]

I think one baby shower would have sufficed for Jill...she was just married and had numerous gifts sent to her; she is also from a wealthy family and doesn't need anything "given" to her...and earns her own money now from TLC and the interviews, etc...she is not in need. I understand a baby shower isn't exclusively for someone "in need", but a loving gesture to welcome the baby. That is why I think ONE shower would have sufficed. Absolutely everyone you know, whether it be close or casual, doesn't have to host or give you a baby gift...JMHO.

 

While I do mostly agree, it's kind of hard to decline if someone offers to throw you one. Now if they are going around ASKING people to host showers for them I think that's beyond greedy and tacky, but if people are just wanting to do it, it's kind of hard to say no. The groups probably don't know each other or barely know each other (i.e. Derick's co-workers probably aren't that familiar with the birthing center ladies) and I'm thinking the various groups probably prefer to keep them separate anyway.

[kalamac]

My co-worker who just had a baby last week had two showers. One at home, thrown by non-work friends, and one with us, in a family restaurant. We always do baby showers for expectant parents, even if we know they're having one thrown by someone else.

[BitterApple]

Lol, you want to talk tacky, I know a guy who was invited to a work shower for a woman he barely knew and the invitation stated a $50 minimum for all gifts.

Back to Jill, I surprisingly think the separate showers were a good idea. I've been to a big combination work/family/friends shower and it was soooo awkward because the guests just separated into cliques and didn't really interact.

[Rhondinella]

I know it's controversial with some people but in many circles it's considered in poor taste for a mother, grandmother, or sister to host a shower.  I've heard it said that it makes the family look grabby.  I think two showers is not uncommon.  More than that is less usual.

 

 

THIS!!! I was taught growing up (in the south) that it was tacky for family members to be the hosts for a person's shower.  I mean, yes, sometimes the shower may have been arranged by the mother or sisters, but it would be held someone other than their house and officially "hosted" by someone else.  I still shudder a little when I see mothers sending out shower invites for their pregnant daughters, even though I know it's common in many places these days.  It's just so ingrained in me I react instinctively. 

 

To quote Bronn from GoT: But, then, I'm getting old.

[msblossom]

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and it's very common for the MIL, SIL, cousin and sister of the mother-to-be to throw a shower. But then again multiple showers are not uncommon out West. I guess it's all relative to how and where we've been raised. That said, I'm not big on baby showers. I usually decline (unless it's someone I'm very close to) and send an obligatory gift.

[msblossom]

Hey, I just saw Rhondinella's post at the top of the page about the spreadsheet re; Jill's due date. I can't believe I still have a chance at this contest. Only 8 more days for my pick on the due date! I'm actually surprised Jill hasn't gone into labor by now with the size of her belly and the way the baby has noticeably "dropped".

[truthtalk2014]

Lol, you want to talk tacky, I know a guy who was invited to a work shower for a woman he barely knew and the invitation stated a $50 minimum for all gifts.

 

OMG- I don't even know what to say to that - except a big FU to the people that planned this shower.  OMG OMG OMG.  That is so tacky- tackier than not using Duke's mayo in potato salad.  ;)

[Tielsmomma]

OMG- I don't even know what to say to that - except a big FU to the people that planned this shower. OMG OMG OMG. That is so tacky- tackier than not using Duke's mayo in potato salad. ;)

Big time. I swear, my jaw dropped so fast it hit the floor and bruised my chin. Talk about TACKY.

I have no issues with people who have money, if you like giving gifts (and receiving), that's great. People like the Duggars, however, no. They make themselves out to be such Christian people but wowsa, they are the most grabby, greedy shits around. Just what will they do with all the duplicates they're bound to receive? Wanna bet they'll sit in a storeroom? Fans who sent gifts will be lucky it's acknowledged, let alone actually used. Ugh. This family disgusts me.

[BitterApple]

truthtalk2014, I know, right?! In comparison to that, JillyMuffin's Olive Garden soiree doesn't seem too bad.

Even though Jill's due date is still a few weeks away I thought she would have popped by now.

[Quof]

Does anyone actually believe Jerick will send you thank you card for the baby gifts?  They haven't had time to send thank yous for the wedding gifts (and I'm pretty sure they didn't send those anyway.)

[Missy Vixen]

LOL - this really made me think. Can you imagine being a publicist and taking on the Duggars as clients? I can't imagine Boob signing up with any non-fundies - and I simply cannot fathom any self-respecting fundie becoming a publicist in the first place.

They're not getting into People or other media opportunities without a publicist. I'm also willing to bet that publicist is working overtime these days trying to deal with the various idiotic things the Duggars are posting in social media and saying in the press.

 

Who's betting Jilly Muffin will be trying to score some "modest maternity wear" for Dillard #2, whom she'll be pregnant with by their first anniversary?

[abseedee]

Does anyone actually believe Jerick will send you thank you card for the baby gifts?  They haven't had time to send thank yous for the wedding gifts (and I'm pretty sure they didn't send those anyway.)

I didn't want to go back to when it was discussed here but they did send out personalized wedding thank you cards. Lol, I actually thought that they were sent out late but learned that they were sent within the time frame.

Edited March 12, 2015 by abseedee

[Quof]

Lol, I actually thought that they were sent out late but learned that they were sent within the time frame.

Are you talking about the (myth) "rule" that a couple has a year to send a thank you for a wedding gift??  Total BS, made up by a lazy/rude bride and groom.  You don't "have" a year to express thanks for any other type of gift, why would you get a year just because it's a wedding gift?

[abseedee]

Are you talking about the (myth) "rule" that a couple has a year to send a thank you for a wedding gift??  Total BS, made up by a lazy/rude bride and groom.  You don't "have" a year to express thanks for any other type of gift, why would you get a year just because it's a wedding gift?

I don't know of the 1 yr rule.  J&D send theirs out sometime in December I think so 6 months for them.

[msblossom]

Are you talking about the (myth) "rule" that a couple has a year to send a thank you for a wedding gift??  Total BS, made up by a lazy/rude bride and groom.  You don't "have" a year to express thanks for any other type of gift, why would you get a year just because it's a wedding gift?

Etiquette for sending a wedding gift thank you is 3 months from the date the gift was given.

2 weeks for all other occasions.

[Quof]

Miss Manners disagrees with you.  She says thanks should be sent as soon as a gift is received.  I agree with her. 

[msblossom]

Miss Manners disagrees with you.  She says thanks should be sent as soon as a gift is received.  I agree with her.

Actually, yes and no. Yes. MM says to write a card as soon as it is received, but she says it should be done within 2 weeks for all occasion gifts and up to 3 months for wedding.

[Wellfleet]

Actually, yes and no. Yes. MM says to write a card as soon as it is received, but she says it should be done within 2 weeks for all occasion gifts and up to 3 months for wedding.

 

My Emily Post book says the same thing - couples have a 3-month window for sending handwriten thank-yous.  No mention is made of e-mail, which is tacky in my old-fashioned opinion. Actually Emily says that ideally thank-yous should go out the same day a gift is received, but recognizes that that's not too realistic for most folks. Although I remember reading that Jackie Kennedy was sending out handwritten thanks for flowers and visits from her friends - from her deathbed. A true class act til the very end - and obviously light-years beyond the Duggars in every way.

Edited March 13, 2015 by Wellfleet

[roamyn]

Hey, they sent tgem.

Do you know how many weddings & showers my 29yr old daughter has been to and received a thank you? Only one out if at least 3 weddings and 2 baby showers. She complained to me abt her friends.

I hate to say I give anyone credit for showing manners, but there ya go.

[Sew Sumi]

So, in that glut of pictures the Duggars put up on FB today with the guns, there's a shot with Jill and Derick. More time off from work, eh? Or has he already started taking his family leave even though Muffy's due date is still 12 days (as of today) away? 

 

His shirt and "Rookie Dad" hat were ridiculous. Yes DerickDillard, we know that you are a newbie father to the Second Coming. You and your sad sack wife have drilled that into the heads of the poor, unsuspecting public before the pee on the stick was dry. *eyeroll*

Edited March 13, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[roamyn]

What's the difference from wearing a "Rookie Dad" hat, and someone wearing a "New Daddy to Be" shirt? I don't understand the vitriol over thar. After all he *is* a new/rookie dad.

it does seem like he gets a lot of time off work, though. I no hubby gets ALOT of vacation time, but he's been at his workplace for more than 15 yrs. I wonder how Derrick's co-workers feel abt that? I'd be jealous & miffed.

[GEML]

His office might offer flex time options, depending on how his position is categorized. It might be that if he needs to work late on a certain project (not unheard of this time of year) he's allowed to accumulate those hours for an extra afternoon or day off within that pay period.

[Wok Chop]

Too bad Derrick didn't have a hat that said "Rookie in the Sack" back when they were on their honeymoon.

[Sew Sumi]

MHO, but I just find Derick's apparel choice odd, especially given that he was surrounded entirely by Duggars. I could see it at one of the baby showers, but out in the middle of nowhere just chillaxin'? Not so much. 

 

Of course, Derick has every right to wear what he wants. Now that he's a public figure who consents to have his image splashed all over the internet, I reserve the right to call him a doofus. :D

[DangerousMinds]

What's the difference from wearing a "Rookie Dad" hat, and someone wearing a "New Daddy to Be" shirt? I don't understand the vitriol over thar. After all he *is* a new/rookie dad.

it does seem like he gets a lot of time off work, though. I no hubby gets ALOT of vacation time, but he's been at his workplace for more than 15 yrs. I wonder how Derrick's co-workers feel abt that? I'd be jealous & miffed.

I find both shirts to be tacky as hell, no matter who is wearing them.

[floridamom]

What I find strange here is that ALL of the children- in- law vacation with the Duggars as if they are still part of that household...I don't see Josh and Anna, Ben and Jessa OR Derick and Jill vacationing or spending any REAL time with their families? I also find it odd that the "leave and cleave" motto is ignored and abandoned. If Jim Bob and Michelle's household wants to take a trip or a vacation, that is their business...their married kids are just that...married and now in their own households, ADULTS in their own right. How can all of these people constantly travel together as if they are still little kids to those parents? These marrieds need to break away to some degree and live their own lives..., take their own vacations, and let their parents continue to live their lives with the UNmarried children still at home. I can understand if once in a while a whole family wants to get together and spend some quality time together on a vacation, but heck, these 3 couples are always over there. Josh and Anna still live like they are down the street from the Duggars..How many frequent flyer miles have they accumulated flying back and forth to AR? It can't be cheap, how do they afford such travel? I'm sure Mrs. Keller would be euphoric to spend HALF as much time with her Duggar grandchildren as Josh's parents get? It's time to cut the cord...

[Barb23]

Does anyone actually believe Jerick will send you thank you card for the baby gifts?  They haven't had time to send thank yous for the wedding gifts (and I'm pretty sure they didn't send those anyway.)

Remember Janarella is only one person. She can only work on so many thank you's at a time with her other duties. She's had two weddings & now Dilly's gifts to do thank yous for. Just be patient & give her some time.

[floridamom]

Does anyone know if Jill has been asked if she intends to blanket train her child/children?

[Ljohnson1987]

I thought Blanket Training was something the Duggars don't talk about. I hope Jill isn't going to mess up her kids, like her parents did she and her siblings.

[Tielsmomma]

I'm sure she will use some version of it. Jessa is guaranteed to. JMO

[Ljohnson1987]

I hope Jill doesn't blanket train Baby DIlly. Why do these idiots insist on breaking their children's spirits?

[Missy Vixen]

Does anyone know if Jill has been asked if she intends to blanket train her child/children?

Let's see if any of the tabloids that have been publishing stories about the Duggars on a daily basis will pick this one up. C'mon. ASK THEM ABOUT BLANKET TRAINING.

 

I dare you, People magazine!

[BitterApple]

I'd like to think Jill would avoid blanket training, but the Duggars live what they know. I had figured Derick would bring a more balanced view to their relationship but that guy is practically drowning in Kool-Aid right now. Sadly I think Jill will be a carbon copy of Michelle.

[Barb23]

Do you think they'll interrupt our TV shows to tell us when Jill is in labor? Are the TLC & People vans & cameras already in place in front of the Mcmansion? Some of us (myself included) were glued to the TV when Princess Kate went into labor & went to the hospital. After all, don't the Duggars think they are American royalty with their 19 kids?

[Wellfleet]

What I find strange here is that ALL of the children- in- law vacation with the Duggars as if they are still part of that household...I don't see Josh and Anna, Ben and Jessa OR Derick and Jill vacationing or spending any REAL time with their families? I also find it odd that the "leave and cleave" motto is ignored and abandoned. If Jim Bob and Michelle's household wants to take a trip or a vacation, that is their business...their married kids are just that...married and now in their own households, ADULTS in their own right. How can all of these people constantly travel together as if they are still little kids to those parents? These marrieds need to break away to some degree and live their own lives..., take their own vacations, and let their parents continue to live their lives with the UNmarried children still at home. I can understand if once in a while a whole family wants to get together and spend some quality time together on a vacation, but heck, these 3 couples are always over there. Josh and Anna still live like they are down the street from the Duggars..How many frequent flyer miles have they accumulated flying back and forth to AR? It can't be cheap, how do they afford such travel? I'm sure Mrs. Keller would be euphoric to spend HALF as much time with her Duggar grandchildren as Josh's parents get? It's time to cut the cord...

 

Agree - with any other family this would certainly be weird. But this is the Duggars - where 'weird' is the rule. I think the married Duggar kids are actually not comfortable being far from the TTH for very long. For me this was brought home when Josh - a 25-year old married man with three kids of his own - sobbed on national TV when his parents were fixing to leave, after helping him move to DC. Being emotional I could have seen, but he was actually crying. He reminded me of a little kid being left by his parents at overnight camp for the first time. The experiences he was having at 25 are ones that most kids go through at a much earlier age. Another cost of Boob's overzealous need to control. I think Jill is the same way. I think she'd have a whole LOT of issues if Derick ever actually becomes head of his own family and decides to move them out-of-state - or even further. Increasingly, this doesn't seem likely since Derick is becoming more Duggar every day. 

[truelovekiss]

Do you think they'll interrupt our TV shows to tell us when Jill is in labor? Are the TLC & People vans & cameras already in place in front of the Mcmansion? Some of us (myself included) were glued to the TV when Princess Kate went into labor & went to the hospital. After all, don't the Duggars think they are American royalty with their 19 kids?

First of all, I'm right there with you about the royal baby and I'm more than a little excited about the new one!

I'm sure Boob is already licking his chops thinking about how much he's going to make off those Baby Dilly pictures. I don't think that he'll want to lose out on a cent by letting anyone see that baby before People Magazine gives him a check.