Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Mrsjumbo]

I think Jill's maternal style is the same style she had before getting pregnant, only in a larger size- multiple scoop neck tees, infinity scarf, long denim skirt, flower in hair.

[springtime]

This accountability partner lifestyle just makes me sick, fellow posters. I can't believe that a group of adult people would deem themselves so fragile, weak and spineless that they aren't allowed to go anywhere, even to the grocery store by themselves? If one is strong in their faith, a trip out for milk shouldn't throw them off the path. I can't believe that Jill would still be required to have a guard. I wonder if they are allowed time alone in the bathroom to take a shower without a timer outside (be it an actual egg timer with a sibling monitoring it)..doesn't anyone find that a bit extreme? Ok, if the rules are the same for Jim Bob as they are for Meechelle, to have someone with them, it's still nauseating to me. This, is just my opinion. There's something wrong with this. I would like for them to 'open up those studies" that Michelle refers to and let us know exactly what is in those publications and for them to completely explain their beliefs and practices and the resulting lifestyle...everything. ie; are they allowed time alone in the shower without someone outside waiting for them,  yes, all of it. Speculation is just that and I would like definitive answers as to how these people live and why they justify those things as biblical. Thanks for allowing me to post my opinion.

So- the fear of not having someone available to monitor shower time or trips in the community leads to having as many children as possible!

I get it!

[Betweenyouandme]

It doesn't bother me if Jill and Derrick want someone around for accountability. They're not trying to make me do it. I can see how it would be helpful sometimes, but really the main reason it doesn't bother me is because if they want to minimize their ability to give into any temptation, then great. I don't think it makes them weak. I think it, for some people, could give a sense of comfort.

Why should Jill or Derrick have to face the temptations that strangers think they should to prove how strong they are? For example, should they start hanging around meth to prove they really and truly wouldn't use? Just because some married people might hang out alone with other members of the sex they're attracted to doesn't mean Jill and Derick have to for them to somehow prove they're beyond cheating.

They're choosing to just put in extra safety nets for themselves. It's like people who don't drink and don't really ever hang out at bars. Do I think that makes them weak? No. I think that's their personal decision. It's not hurting anyone and in the sense of having people around, I don't think Jill or Derick are hurting anyone either.

And, while if I knew every aspect I might think some things are a bit extreme, in general I don't fault a parent from trying to guard his or her child from explicit situations. I think Jill and Derick will be fine parents. I think it's okay for some people to be more cautious and strict than others.

Furthermore, let's say Jill and Derick make a joint statement tomorrow that they are very weak and really want to live wild, dangerous, violent lives but are choosing to seek help by being accountability partners. Heck, I'd be thrilled that they were doing something about it rather than turning to a life of crime. ;)

Edited February 8, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[GEML]

Where things get problematic is when the lines aren't easily drawn. For instance, there is a story in my family in it's deep fanatical days about me being a toddler and my parents and grandmother being away from home. They ran out of milk. My father drove and drove with me screaming in the car because they couldn't find a store or restaurant that sold milk that didn't also sell alcohol, and they didn't want to support an establishment that sold alcohol - that went against their beliefs. Finally it was established that my grandmother, who was NOT a fanatic, could buy the milk after the fifth or sixth place.

It's not only about temptation, but also about how others see you, and having lived it, I do think there is an element of pride involved. It's hard for anyone living this way NOT to think, wow, look at how righteous I am, making my life so difficult for the glory of God! And the sin of self-righteousness and pride was a sin Jesus talked about a LOT.

I'm not saying not to do it or that it can't be done. Just that if you choose to go down this path you go down it with tremendous humility.

And maybe it's me, but I'm not seeing that much in most Americans anywhere. Let alone Americans who are on television.

Edited February 8, 2015 by GEML

[floridamom]

I think the example of hanging out with meth heads is a bit extreme also. I don't think they should hang out with alcoholics or drub addicts to prove that they are not into those things, but we are talking about being able to run errands and go shopping in broad daylight, in public by yourself when you are grown up enough to do so. It's just extreme of them, IMO. I would also be interested in hearing from them IN DETAIL what their restrictions, actions, and beliefs are and how that plays out in their every day life and site scripture in the bible backing up those things...or Mr. Gothard's manual, if that's what they are reading from. I believe these "studies" that Michelle referred to on TV were those pamphlets and booklets that Gothard puts out, not a bible based church handout.

[Betweenyouandme]

If it's going to be "okay" for some people to not financially support certain places (which I shall not name) because of what they stand for, then I think it's "okay" for other people to not shop at other places because of what those places stand for/condone.

I can't read Jill and Derrick's minds, but I will say that my grandparents and dad are originally from Uganda and are Muslim. They are extremely conservative (they grew up where the price of not following certain standards of behavior meant you'd be killed). I also grew up with my mother for a few years in an IFB church. No one except my dad in my family drinks. They don't do it for show, but of course they'd be mortified if someone they knew saw them drunk (not that it would happen). None of them strike me as prideful. But, they're not on tv, and even the most seemingly humble can have a dark heart. I'm not the judge of Jill.

I'm not trying to argue. I'm just expressing my personal opinion about their standards for themselves based on my family. I seem to have a different experience of what extreme means and wanting to have an accountability partner in my mind just isn't that big of a deal.

Edited February 8, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[Ljohnson1987]

Of course, the first episode of the season is going to announce Baby Dilly. It's called "Jill's Secret". There's no secret. She had sex, and is now pregnant. Should've been called. "No one is surprised that Jill is knocked up". 

[GEML]

Ok, I'm obviously not expressing this well, and that's my error, I'm sorry. It's not that drinking or not drinking or this thing or that thing is what makes you prideful (I don't drink myself, although my husband does). What I'm trying to express is when you live in a world where you are always deliberately making your world more complicated to demonstrate to both yourself and everyone else around you (that latter part is key) that you are doing this for some greater good, it is really difficult not to become prideful about it. It's just human nature - in some ways, if we are going to deprive ourselves of an easier life, we need some justifications for doing so. There are a lot of people who are able to say, well, I will be rewarded in the next, or, without these rules I might not be the person I want to be, but unfortunately, human beings being what we are, far too often we reach for, "I'm a better person for doing this." That they are so afraid of even being seen in a situation that might make them look badly when they aren't, in fact, doing anything wrong, has always been interesting to me.

Take courting, for instance. Do any of us think that if Jill and Derick had hugged or even kissed before their wedding kiss they were doing anything wrong? I doubt it. But they deliberately went out of their way to make things far more complicated than they needed to be. And to show that off before the world. And why? It's really hard to avoid at least a whiff of "we are better people for having done this" with the implication that they are better than all of us.

Edited February 8, 2015 by GEML

[Missy Vixen]

One can only imagine the brain-melting boredom of Jill's typical day if her SPECIAL DAY consists of going swimming and eating at a fast-food restaurant.

 

I can't imagine how boring this season's 19KAC will be, either.

[Betweenyouandme]

Ok, I'm obviously not expressing this well, and that's my error, I'm sorry. It's not that drinking or not drinking or this thing or that thing is what makes you prideful (I don't drink myself, although my husband does). What I'm trying to express is when you live in a world where you are always deliberately making your world more complicated to demonstrate to both yourself and everyone else around you (that latter part is key) that you are doing this for some greater good, it is really difficult not to become prideful about it. It's just human nature - in some ways, if we are going to deprive ourselves of an easier life, we need some justifications for doing so. There are a lot of people who are able to say, well, I will be rewarded in the next, or, without these rules I might not be the person I want to be, but unfortunately, human beings being what we are, far too often we reach for, "I'm a better person for doing this." That they are so afraid of even being seen in a situation that might make them look badly when they aren't, in fact, doing anything wrong, has always been interesting to me.

Take courting, for instance. Do any of us think that if Jill and Derick had hugged or even kissed before their wedding kiss they were doing anything wrong? I doubt it. But they deliberately went out of their way to make things far more complicated than they needed to be. And to show that off before the world. And why? It's really hard to avoid at least a whiff of "we are better people for having done this" with the implication that they are better than all of us.

Nope. I understand both posts. I just don't agree.

[Wellfleet]

This accountability partner lifestyle just makes me sick, fellow posters. I can't believe that a group of adult people would deem themselves so fragile, weak and spineless that they aren't allowed to go anywhere, even to the grocery store by themselves? If one is strong in their faith, a trip out for milk shouldn't throw them off the path. I can't believe that Jill would still be required to have a guard. I wonder if they are allowed time alone in the bathroom to take a shower without a timer outside (be it an actual egg timer with a sibling monitoring it)..doesn't anyone find that a bit extreme? Ok, if the rules are the same for Jim Bob as they are for Meechelle, to have someone with them, it's still nauseating to me. This, is just my opinion. There's something wrong with this. I would like for them to 'open up those studies" that Michelle refers to and let us know exactly what is in those publications and for them to completely explain their beliefs and practices and the resulting lifestyle...everything. ie; are they allowed time alone in the shower without someone outside waiting for them,  yes, all of it. Speculation is just that and I would like definitive answers as to how these people live and why they justify those things as biblical. Thanks for allowing me to post my opinion.

 

I agree. It's ludicrous for grown adults to actually think they need to be "watched" at all times in order to need to remain 'pure and faithful.' My own theory is that these people were profoundly-shamed by something - real or imagined - in their pasts. Or were raised by people who were - people determined that it would never happen again. People with an "all or nothing" mentality. Self-control seems to be something that's never considered. They don't believe themselves capable of it. If they have even "a little taste" of something good or pleasurable - whatever that might be - they'll go all out and be unable to stop.

[jcbrown]

 

Take courting, for instance. Do any of us think that if Jill and Derick had hugged or even kissed before their wedding kiss they were doing anything wrong? I doubt it. But they deliberately went out of their way to make things far more complicated than they needed to be. And to show that off before the world. And why? It's really hard to avoid at least a whiff of "we are better people for having done this" with the implication that they are better than all of us.

I think you are expressing it very well, as usual.

 

I completely agree that I have always felt the Duggars are full-on proud of the fact that their rules make them "better" than the rest of us. I think they drank their own Kool-Aid and they have descended into pride instead of remembering the stated reasons they have for making everything so complicated for themselves. They may still believe this is all about being godly and compliant but I think it is also about being perceived as special special snowflakes.

[GEML]

Nope. I understand both posts. I just don't agree.

Ok! As long as it's not me! :)

[Betweenyouandme]

Ok! As long as it's not me! :)

No. I just don't personally like ascribing intent to people, especially when it's a huge family made up of individuals. I can't say why they all do what they do, and I don't like guessing about it. It makes me feel bad to question a person when it comes to their heart.

I really do think that it doesn't matter if every person on the planet thinks Jill and Derick should have felt comfortable kissing before their wedding- they didn't. Maybe it was 100% just for show off, but I don't know that. I'd be uncomfortable stating that was so.

And, I certainly have been around extremely conservative people who are very much alone but still try their very hardest to do what they think is right by their faith. Some people are okay with making their life harder to feel like they're doing the right thing for themselves. I don't begrudge that. If I had a child who said everyone was teasing them about not wanting to use a swear word or something, but they stood by what they wanted, I'd be thrilled.

I was also happy to hear my grandma talk about never remarrying because she felt it wasn't right for her after my grandfather passed away at a very young age...even though she was lonely and had a hard time. That wasn't for show.

And no, I don't think remarrying or cursing (depending on where I am- don't want to do it in front of children) is bad, personally, but I won't fault a person for sacrificing so they feel good in their heart. I like Jill. I wish I'd been able to be more like her in my past in many ways. not in every way, but in several ways.

And just to say again, this is all my opinion. I like reading different opinions. I just think that it's important to identify what's an opinion, what is a personal experience, and what is a fact.

Edited February 9, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[Absolom]

I think the part that makes the difference is all the people in your private life were private people living their lives.  The elder Duggars have deliberately said the show is a ministry of theirs.  That means they want to spread the word of their brand of religion to the world.  To translate that, yes they want to be viewed as an example and to have people follow their way.  I don't find their way of life to be what I'd desire and since they are promoting it, I feel fine snarking on what they willingly present on TV and in other media.  

[Betweenyouandme]

I don't think wanting to be an example or evangelical is the same as being prideful or a show off (not sure if you meant that). I'm not saying none of them aren't show offs. I'm just saying I don't know that all or any of them are or that it's their main drive. I'm mostly talking about Jill because it's her and Derrick's thread.

And, I definitely am not attempting or wanting to censor anyone here. I understand I'm not the majority opinion. I spoke up in the first place when a comparison ( that I didn't think was always true) was made between The Duggars and other people who also belong to the Duggars' faith but who are living private lives. I was giving a different interpretation of personal experiences than GEML had (about trying to find milk/no alcohol). While I often do have memories of similar things that are brought up here, sometimes, they are not quite the same. And, IFB church isn't exactly the same, but it's in the same vein, I think. Either way, it has probably affected my opinions about Jill, etc.

Edited February 9, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[GEML]

I actually appreciate the difference of opinion. And I don't disagree with you in the abstract. Having grown up in it, I can say with some certainty that I know people who lived this way all their lives and were NEVER prideful.

But I do think it's important that the gospels are full of warnings about pride, self-righteousness and showing off of deeply religious people. It's what Jesus talks about the most. And yet it's talked about the LEAST in these subcultures (except perhaps the Amish, who honestly do take this seriously.)

And I think that's because human nature is what it is. We like feeling good about ourselves.

To be honest, I think Jill and Derick have been less prideful about things than have Josh and Anna, for instance. But I think Michelle and Jim Bob are full of pride. But that is only my opinion, and that doesn't mean I think they are otherwise bad people. I just don't think they are farther along the path of salvation than anyone else - although I think they think they are. I'm more of a Romans 3:23 kind of person. :)

Edited February 9, 2015 by GEML

[Absolom]

I see it that way a lot.  A family who are IFB live down the street and they generally don't try to push much on anyone.  They tried to have the obligatory "are you saved?" conversation and after that was settled they've been fine neighbors.  They don't try to push their views on anyone beyond feeling they have to ask about salvation.  

 

However, I can see some of the pride especially in JB and Michelle.  They may say this is for them and not other people, but it comes across as holier than thou to me.  Jill was known as the tattler in the family and there seems to still be that edge with her.  Although I think Derick may be mellowing her out some.  I don't think he's the kind to go all preachy on the internet.  

[Rhondinella]

Thank you all for being respectful and willing to listen to differing opinions.  We don't have to all agree, but we do all have to get along.  I appreciate it.

[GEML]

And before anyone gets on their high horse, it isn't only religious people who risks being prideful. You're talking to someone who lived in DC for nearly 20 years! ;)

I think Jill was a tattler within the family, and took a lot of pride in that, but she seems gentler outside her family than most of the others, and I believe has a caring spirit. I'm hoping that side of her grows as she finally has the chance to grow as an individual and not simply be a part of a group.

[cmr2014]

I have an issue with this in general. Being an adult (in the US) carries with it rights and responsibilities. We have both great freedom, and inherent responsibilities.

 

In theory, I can respect the idea that adults have the option to give up certain rights (I am submissive to my husband, and he makes all of the decisions), but in reality I can't. The founding principles of the US state that all adult citizens have the same rights, and bear the same responsibilities. Being an adult carries responsibility, and we can't simply make trades -- i will give up the right to drink, and in return I won't have to serve jury duty.

 

Taking someone along with you wherever you go to prevent you from doing something wrong is, inherently, refusing to grow up and accept the responsibility of being an adult. What if there were an emergency? Should Jill sit in the house and wait until an accountabilibuddy showed up to go with her to the hospital? What if her child were sick? Could she not leave him with her sister and go to the pharmacy?

 

I another century, or a different culture, this might make sense. In 21st Century America, it's not okay. Jill is an adult, and I don't think she has the option to choose to be a child simply because her religious beliefs don't acknowledge adult women as adults.

[Higgins]

It's okay if that's how she wants to live. I wouldn't choose that lifestyle and others wouldn't choose mine.

[Fosca]

 The founding principles of the US state that all adult citizens have the same rights, and bear the same responsibilities.

 

Actually, to be pedantic, the founding fathers (note: no founding mothers) who came up with and immortalized those principles never intended women or non-white males to have anywhere near the same rights as white males (specifically white male property owners); the generalization of those rights/responsibilities to others came anywhere from 90 to 150 years after those documents were written.

 

If Jill and Derek have come up with a way to live that makes them happy and doesn't hurt/bother anyone else, then good for them.  I suspect she's as happy to live within those rules as I am to not do so.  I'm not sure this is true for all of the Duggar kids, but this isn't their forum.  Now when they decide to try to make everyone live according to their rules (via lobbying against abortion or gay rights/marriage or whatever), then that's where the line is drawn, in my opinion.

 

Of course, because they're happy the way they are, that doesn't mean we shouldn't snark at them: you put your life on display, you open yourself up to that.  It's part of the deal.

[floridamom]

Yes, yes, when someone puts their lives on display and GETS PAID FOR IT, they open themselves up for all kinds of commentary...complimentary and otherwise.

[Betweenyouandme]

Have we heard Jill or Derrick state that neither can be alone in an emergency? Have they said they refuse jury duty because both can't go at the same time (or another chaperone?)

To my knowledge, I don't think anyone has specifically asked them these things on the show. However, I can't assume the answer is a resounding "yes" that they'd leave themselves to die or be in some sort of severe pain versus going to a hospital. I could see them not wanting to go to the doctor alone, but I don't see that, personally, as a major problem. In their case, they do have a large extended family and will soon have that baby to go with them.

I see nothing illegal, as the current law stands where they live, with what Jill and Derrick have been doing. I feel nervous writing that last line...but it's true, isn't it? Please correct me if I'm wrong!

[yogi2014L]

Anyone else reeealllllyy hoping Jill has a 10 lb totally healthy non premature baby this week????

[floridamom]

This is why I would like for them to come forward, without laughing, joking, giggling, and interrupting each other, on TV for one hour and really answer these important lifestyle questions that we, out here, have. These seem like such silly questions, "are you really still not allowed to go out alone", etc, but this family's actions bring those questions to light. I have never,, in my life, seen a family who duck, hide, pick and choose exactly what they want to and get away with it. Someone has to put their feet to the fire and ask the tough ones, not previously given to them to prepare a baloney answer,, but to be put on the spot. It they really are such a truth talking bunch, they would have no problem telling it like it is. I, for one, don't want to continue to speculate, I would like to know what their lives are really about.

[GEML]

I do occasionally snark, I admit it. I can't help it.

But I see it differently. If you are not only going to put these behaviors on display, but also use these behaviors themselves as a form of ministry (again, unlike the Amish, who are on display, but would never, for instance, say they are trying to "encourage" other people by their actions) then they SHOULD be critiqued - or in their language, held accountable. Of course, they would like to control who those people are, but well, that's part of the danger of being all things to all people. Doesn't mean the critiques are correct, but at some level, you need to listen to them. Jesus was never afraid to listen. Jill and Derick, right now, seem to be good listeners, and I hope they remain so.

[Missy Vixen]

Anyone else reeealllllyy hoping Jill has a 10 lb totally healthy non premature baby this week????

I would love to hear the verbal gymnastics the Duggars would employ to explain it away. Let's face it -- why was Jill in such a rush to get pregnant in the first place? What was the fire drill?

[NikSac]

This is completely outside of the current religious/lifestyle discussion, but responding to an earlier post about their baby registry. They have at least two - one at Walmart and one at Amazon. I'm not sure of the rules on linking to them here, but you can find them fairly easily under a name search. Silly me I actually searched for Derick Duggar at first. I've seen him called that in a couple of articles now and I forget that he doesn't have the Duggar last name.

[Absolom]

Jim Bob hears you and is proud.  His brand is sticking.  

 

I'd like to think being in Nepal, Derick didn't quite know what he was getting into.  

[msblossom]

Where has it been said that Jill and Derick are never alone without an accountability partner?

I've heard of accountability partners for people who struggle with different areas of sin, but that's someone you invite into your life as a person to pray with you and be honest about your struggles with. Maybe meet for coffee once a week and pray.

Is that what we're talking about here?

If that's the case, just about everybody I know is doing this.

[floridamom]

Evidently there was a baby shower thrown for Jill while derickdillard was at work as he was wearing his walmart lariat. Gee, when I was expecting our first child, MY office had a small shower for ME during our weekly staff meeting and it was S.H.O.R.T. as we were ok work-time and ate our cake during the rest of the meeting. They gave me a very nice baby swing as a gift...ONE gift. My husband did NOT leave HIS job in order to attend. The moms and sisters in law, (including yet again, Anna) attended. (Isn't she EVER in DC)? My husband's office did not throw a shower for me at his office. I find this disturbing because Jill does NOT need yet another party with gifts, they aren't hurting for money and I'm sure HER shower thrown by derickdillard's family, the Duggars and Jill';s friends would have sufficed. If Derick's co-workers wanted to give Jill a shower, they should have attended hers, or have given her their own separate one on their own time. I'm just so tired of presents, and more presents between weddings and now a miracle honeymoon baby... don't mean to sound like a grump, but it bothered me to see this photo.

[trimthatfat]

I was under the impression that if someone offers to throw you a shower, you should accept. I am guessing Derick's colleagues offered to throw a shower and Jill and Derick accepted. I don't see the problem. Yes, Jill is more than blessed and doesn't need another shower, but I thought it was in poor taste to decline such an offer (baby shower or bridal shower). Just my two cents. Since Jill visits Derick often at work, maybe his coworkers have become fond of her and wanted to do something nice for her?

[yogi2014L]

What they should have done is have any showers thrown for them be for charity- all these people they want to deny abortions to will need diapers and clothing and what not. 

They could have gotten together with a womens shelter or food bank and made a huge deal of it and gotten a lot of donations. So the shower would be in Honor of Jill but all the items would be donated to charity

 

Of course that would be the Duggars using their celebrity to do something for others without benefiting themselves ( you know that whole JOY thing they preach), so it didn't happen. When it comes to walking the walk, the Duggars FAIL miserably. 

Edited February 9, 2015 by yogi2014L

[NikSac]

I was under the impression that if someone offers to throw you a shower, you should accept. I am guessing Derick's colleagues offered to throw a shower and Jill and Derick accepted. I don't see the problem. Yes, Jill is more than blessed and doesn't need another shower, but I thought it was in poor taste to decline such an offer (baby shower or bridal shower). Just my two cents. Since Jill visits Derick often at work, maybe his coworkers have become fond of her and wanted to do something nice for her?

 

I was always pretty much under this impression too. I think it'd be pretty rude to say no because the co-workers just want to do something nice for her, or for them as a couple.  When invited to work showers I always look at it as supporting them as a couple and their future baby, even if I don't know the wife/mom-to-be well or at all.

 

Of course on the other side of that is I don't remember ever being invited to a bridal shower, wedding, and baby shower all so close together (and presumably engagement gifts and "baby arrival" gifts are expected in there somewhere too). Hopefully they skipped the "housewarming" party on top of all that. It does get to be overkill.

[GEML]

My husband's coworkers threw a baby shower for him (and me) nearly 20 years ago now. This is standard in some offices, uncommon in others. Without knowing Derick's office culture, we have no way of knowing if this is unusual or not.

[bigskygirl]

In my opinion, I wonder if Jill likes me alone after spending most or all of her life in a big family. Does one or more of her siblings spend time with her while Derick is at work.  Does she cling to Derick or keep a close eye on him because she is worried he would leave her for a heathen hussy at work. Sadly, she does remind me of a teenage girl with her first crush. Will she cling to her Dilly Baby for attention and love when Derick is not with her.

[Sew Sumi]

I was under the impression that if someone offers to throw you a shower, you should accept. I am guessing Derick's colleagues offered to throw a shower and Jill and Derick accepted. I don't see the problem. Yes, Jill is more than blessed and doesn't need another shower, but I thought it was in poor taste to decline such an offer (baby shower or bridal shower). Just my two cents. Since Jill visits Derick often at work, maybe his coworkers have become fond of her and wanted to do something nice for her?

The problem here is that no coworkers were pictured, and the "haul" was pathetically small;  it looked like gifts from just the pictured family members (Jessa was notably absent), not them and a larger group of co-workers (who should have been pictured with the gifts if they actually gave them). It looked like it happened in a lunchroom, probably during Derick's lunch hour sometime last week (before MEchelle flew off to the anti-abortion rally in Alaska with Boob this past weekend). It was just strange that NO co-workers were pictured. 

[Temperance]

I also have to say I have never heard of shower-for-the father-to-be. The bridal/baby showers thrown by my friends are usually all women by design to exclude men and be as 1950's as possible.

I think it's very nice Derrick's office through him a shower. I hope they do this for all the father-to-bes and not just the famous ones. When I was baby, only women got maternity leave. Now some men are starting to get two weeks or so paternity leaves for their babies. I think the idea of parental bonding for both genders is a good idea when possible. I like others' acknowledging men's importance in their children's lives.

Jill and Derrick probably do have too much stuff, but that's the common and cultural for well-to-do and/or famous people. I'm sure that baby stuff will come in handy. Either in mission work or being given to Jessa/other Duggars or for the next few babies of their own.

[Absolom]

Where is the picture?  I was guessing Instagram but I couldn't find it.

[GEML]

It's quite possible that people decided not to be in the photo because it's not just a photo with a co-worker, but with a celebrity (albeit a B list one.). There may even be an office policy about it.

[SmallTownMom]

I think a "Dad" shower is a fun idea.  We did this several years ago for a young man at work.  He and his wife were having their first baby and we were all thrilled for them as they had been trying to conceive for a while.  It was also a fun excuse to have a covered dish social and a cake!  We collected money and gave him a card to Babies R Us so that they could get whatever was needed. It was just our department, and his wife was invited and was a fun surprise for him.

 

That said, I am so sick of the Duggars and their HUGE and extremely grabby registries, and of course all the stuff they get from their "fans."  Sorry, I would rather donate to a program that gathers diapers and baby clothing for needy women than to send anything to this bunch.

 

The Duggars just never seem grateful for all they have.

Edited February 10, 2015 by SmallTownMom

[Sew Sumi]

It's quite possible that people decided not to be in the photo because it's not just a photo with a co-worker, but with a celebrity (albeit a B list one.). There may even be an office policy about it.

They did this either on a lunch hour or after-hours. I doubt those rules apply. Especially given who we are talking about here. I just have a feeling that due to Jill's smothering, Derick's co-workers really haven't gotten a chance to know him very well. FWIW. 

 

I saw the pic posted to a group I'm in. Sorry, but I don't want to go through the gazillion steps to post a jpg file here. eta: I hate to patronize Pickles, but she put up the picture about an hour ago (my source found it earlier today). As I noted before, the timeframe places this sometime during last week, but not Friday since JB/Mechelle would have been enroute to Alaska. 

Edited February 10, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Mariva]

http://instagram.com/p/y3RJcfGCUp/
^James surprised Derick with a bike. It was a sweet gesture but methinks James may have had an ulterior motive. He's sending a message to his brother in law that he wants to spend more time with him, lol. Hope Derick gets the hint (I'm sure he will) and takes James along on a camping or bike trip sometime.

 

They did this either on a lunch hour or after-hours. I doubt those rules apply. Especially given who we are talking about here. I just have a feeling that due to Jill's smothering, Derick's co-workers really haven't gotten a chance to know him very well. FWIW. 

 

I saw the pic posted to a group I'm in. Sorry, but I don't want to go through the gazillion steps to post a jpg file here. eta: I hate to patronize Pickles, but she put up the picture about an hour ago (my source found it earlier today). As I noted before, the timeframe places this sometime during last week, but not Friday since JB/Mechelle would have been enroute to Alaska. 

It was originally posted on Jill and Derick's FB page>>https://www.facebook.com/1480440265504529/photos/pb.1480440265504529.-2207520000.1423536988./1587833824765172/?type=1&theater (Not sure if this will work but I'll try posting the pic. My apologizes if I do something wrong!)

 

Honestly it seemed almost like a throwaway pic with no captions or anything. We don’t even know for sure that it was taken at Derick’s office, though all signs point to it. Maybe they took bunch of photos and Jill just picked one that had her family in it. She probably didn’t want to invade on his co-workers' privacies by putting their faces on social media where she knows that it'll likely get picked up by other entertainment sites. 

 

Edit: Can I just add that this may be the first time I've seen Jill with her hair up like that? There's another close-up of her and Derick on their FB page. I think she looks GREAT!

Edited February 10, 2015 by Mariva

[Sew Sumi]

LOL, it didn't even occur to me to check their FB page. No way I'm "liking" any of them; my friends would rib me mercilessly. But yeah, that's the picture. I get that they would put a "family-centric" pic on their page, but it's odd that there's no HINT of another person, especially given the weird angle that someone (Boob? Meh, it could have been Jackson for all we know) took it from. No sign of food, either, not even cafeteria lunch! I hope that there were co-workers at this happenin' partay, but if so, that haul doesn't speak very well of either them or - most likely - Derick's relationship with them. 

 

Wanna bet there were more Duggars there than actual guests?

[Absolom]

Thanks.  It seems a very sad shower.  Maybe it was more here are some gifts after work?  

[NikSac]

I don't think I've ever seen a work shower that included parents, siblings, etc.  That seemed pretty strange. The ones I've been to included only co-workers, and the spouse of the co-worker. Hope it was nice for everyone involved, though.

[msblossom]

Again, where has it been said that Jill and Derick are never alone without an accountability partner?

Or is this just Internet gossip?

[Sew Sumi]

I don't think it's been confirmed that Jill and Derick are living that standard like JB/MEchelle. Given that they don't seem to post REAL selfies - just themselves in a picture - it's impossible to say how much time they actually spend alone, or how many places one of them goes without *someone* with them. Seeing that there are only two of them, and Jill drives Derick to work, how does she pick up her siblings? Or are they brought to her so she isn't going out alone? There's really no way to know these answers with 100% certainty. They sure as heck won't tell us; accountability partners are really only known by people familiar with Gothard's "teachings," which wouldn't include (or be noticed by) most of their sheeple fans.