Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Clemgo3165]

 

Knowing that makes me cut her a little slack, but saying she's "right" to put out a registry or share intimate details because of her fame is a false conclusion.

 

I never suggested she was right or wrong, just positing in the hopes that we might cut her a little slack since we don't know any of her motivations in this situation. The TLC promo department may well be working overtime with the news of her pregnancy and may be trying to goose the rating through it. If a contract is involved, Jill may not be able to say "no," even if she truly wants to. It looks to me like she's very excited about it and is very happy to share, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she's hired a publicist to tromp out every little detail of the Baby Dillard Adventure.

[Chai]

She finally made it out of that house and away from her family. Why couldn't she enjoy her newfound freedom for a while before becoming a mother?! I can't believe she jumped in so quickly after endless childcare of her 18 brothers and sisters. I just really don't want to see her go Michelle's route.

[cereality]

Honestly glad to see People finally mocking this couple/family a bit. They had an article today with a clip (presumably from tonight) in which bug eyed Michelle explains that the couple has been undergoing pre-marital counseling once a week with mom and dad using some workbook. The People writer actually said something like -- can you imagine anything so cringe worthy as discussing everything from intimacy to finances with your future inlaws in the privacy of a yogurt shop. I'm glad that People isn't continuing to give these morons a positive spin for every bizarre thing they do.

JB goes on about how he's checking out Derick until he says "I do." He proceeds to ask whether his family bought new cars. What if Derick had said "in fact we did -- my mom has a Benz and that's what I eventually want too." Would JB have called off the wedding then and there? Then he tests him with some hypothetical of what if your engine blew up and you had no money left in a emergency account, would you take on debt? Predictably Derick says no. Does JB not realize that any suitor he gets has at least watched a few episodes/seasons of the show and can give the "right" answers? I call BS on Derick's answer. Seriously -- so if you had no car and no way to get to work at Walmart, you would do what? Quit your job? Instead of buying a car with a car loan like 99.9% of the population?

I'm sure the things Derick finds cute about Jill -- like all the attention she gives him -- will become smothering. In that clip he's talking about how she's SO supportive and emails him pics and videos all day long. Um -- he's only gone for an 8 hr day; let him focus on work, and you'll have 16 other hrs in the day to talk. And the other day she had an IG pic of waiting outside for him to be done work. WTH?! What if his manager walked in as he was packing up and needed to chat about tomorrow's assignments for 10 min or God forbid what if Derick was mid conversation with a work buddy -- would he have to say, sorry gotta go my wife is anxiously waiting because we're at 8 hrs and 1 min of being apart?

[PityFree]

RE the debt thing. So, did JB pull Derrick's credit report? What if he had student loans? The marriage would be off? Does JB expect Jerrick to never get a mortgage? He wants them to rent for the many, many years it would take him to save up a down payment for a house with an entry level accounting job and multiple children to raise? How will Derrick afford a big enough place to rent? 

 

Unless, of course, he rents from JB. JB is an ass. 

[overbooked]

RE: Bible verses.  There were notes in the pic  from both of them. Derick's  don't appear to be KJV.  I'm sure all of Jill's were KJV because that's the only Gothard-approved version.  She's grown up with it her entire life.

[cereality]

RE the debt thing. So, did JB pull Derrick's credit report? What if he had student loans? The marriage would be off? Does JB expect Jerrick to never get a mortgage? He wants them to rent for the many, many years it would take him to save up a down payment for a house with an entry level accounting job and multiple children to raise? How will Derrick afford a big enough place to rent? 

 

Unless, of course, he rents from JB. JB is an ass. 

I think JB is savvy enough to know how lucky they got that Derick came along -- at least one of their daughters will be with someone who can provide at least a middle class lifestyle. I bet if it turned out that Derick valued new cars or had college or CC debt, JB and Michelle would have "counseled" the couple but wouldn't be dumb enough to put a stop to whole thing. Now if it was Ben or someone of that level of qualification (or lack there of), I can see JB and Michelle being a lot harsher and not "allowing" a marriage until the debt is paid off.

 

They just don't get that their overbearing parenting can backfire. Derick is smart enough to nod his head along to the appropriate party line -- by used and save the difference; no debt etc. That doesn't mean he and Jill won't be making their own financial decisions when they are on their own. Honestly I think life with Jill and her limited worldview -- as well as the Duggar interference -- will get old. I can easily see him saying -- we need a 2nd car or let's get this flatscreen TV or laptop for Christmas and eventually, we need to buy our own house; while he makes good money in comparison to Josh's car lot or whatever Ben does, it isn't the kind of money that'll allow for big purchases in cash, nor do I see him as the kind of guy who will wait forever to save the cash just bc his inlaws would want that when he knows he's more than capable of making a monthly payment.

[Barb23]

I can't believe Boob asking Derick those questions. Even my same aged son who is very level headed & nothing seems to bother him, would have told Boob where to go if asked those type of questions. Did he ask Bin the same? I agree with the poster who said Derick should have said Yes I need to go in debt to get the car repaired or get a new car so I can get to work. I would have told Boob its sad that Jill doesn't even have her own car like most women do at her age so we could use that one for awhile while we decide what to do or that she isn't allowed to have a career /work so her salary could contribute to our bank account.

[Darknight]

Honestly glad to see People finally mocking this couple/family a bit. They had an article today with a clip (presumably from tonight) in which bug eyed Michelle explains that the couple has been undergoing pre-marital counseling once a week with mom and dad using some workbook. The People writer actually said something like -- can you imagine anything so cringe worthy as discussing everything from intimacy to finances with your future inlaws in the privacy of a yogurt shop. I'm glad that People isn't continuing to give these morons a positive spin for every bizarre thing they do.

JB goes on about how he's checking out Derick until he says "I do." He proceeds to ask whether his family bought new cars. What if Derick had said "in fact we did -- my mom has a Benz and that's what I eventually want too." Would JB have called off the wedding then and there? Then he tests him with some hypothetical of what if your engine blew up and you had no money left in a emergency account, would you take on debt? Predictably Derick says no. Does JB not realize that any suitor he gets has at least watched a few episodes/seasons of the show and can give the "right" answers? I call BS on Derick's answer. Seriously -- so if you had no car and no way to get to work at Walmart, you would do what? Quit your job? Instead of buying a car with a car loan like 99.9% of the population?

I'm sure the things Derick finds cute about Jill -- like all the attention she gives him -- will become smothering. In that clip he's talking about how she's SO supportive and emails him pics and videos all day long. Um -- he's only gone for an 8 hr day; let him focus on work, and you'll have 16 other hrs in the day to talk. And the other day she had an IG pic of waiting outside for him to be done work. WTH?! What if his manager walked in as he was packing up and needed to chat about tomorrow's assignments for 10 min or God forbid what if Derick was mid conversation with a work buddy -- would he have to say, sorry gotta go my wife is anxiously waiting because we're at 8 hrs and 1 min of being apart?

The duggars certainly don't buy used

[glow]

I don't believe the house is temporary, like you're really moving your daughter and her husband into this house; you're decorating it and she's now pregnant -- and you're putting up a for sale sign at the same time, telling them if it sells tomorrow, they move soon? I know that's what they're saying but I doubt he's pressed submit on the real estate listing. It's a great house but you can't give them that much instability. To me, I hope it's not true.

[Chai]

Exactly! I was thinking the same thing! You just wouldn't do that. (Kick Jill and Derrick out) so soon and now she's expecting .

[wanderwoman]

The Duchess/Jill comparison isn't equitable.  Kate has an entire staff to handle all of that for her, and yes, she will get a ton of things from people all around the world.  They also did for their wedding.  It's also not as much a British custom to use things like registries the way we do here, and for the Royal family to ask, even discreetly through a tabloid, the British people for anything, when they are already living on the largess of the people through taxes would cause a .

I guess we will have to agree to disagree. :)

Certainly, Jill isn't royalty. But, that's the point. The most famous woman since lady Di is pregnant and hasn't sold her kid out in the same way the Duggars do. It doesn't matter how likely one is to get more gifts over the other. To me, the point is that there will be many people who send a gift with or without a registry because they're both public figures. Jill isn't exactly impoverished. She doesn't NEED the public to send gifts. She could, just as the Cambridges have, ask people to donate to a charity on the baby's behalf or give to a charity that helps young moms keep a blessing. Registries aren't supposed to stock your nursery for you. If the Dillards are hurting for cash- don't have a kid. And, you can't tell me that giant storage garage at the Duggar plantation isn't filled to the brim with baby equipment. To me, it has nothing to do with British culture versus fundamental Christian culture. It has to do with class.

Also, the Royal family brings in more money in tourism and other landholdings that channel all profits to the state than they cost. They're not living of the largesse of the British tax payers. We spend more on our president and government employees. In any case, both the Duggars and the Royals have enough money to buy their own nappies and baby clothes.

It's tacky, in my opinion, for Jill and Derek to put out a public registry. Your mileage may vary.

[BitterApple]

It's tacky, in my opinion, for Jill and Derek to put out a public registry. Your mileage may vary.

Especially when some of the registry items have nothing to do with babies. 

 

Most first time moms have a shower, so I don't have any gripe with that. However, registry information is usually limited to the people invited to the shower. 

[overbooked]

Derick, sweetheart, at some point in the future you may get hit with several unexpected expenses that wipe out your emergency fund and you have to go into debt/take out a loan for something essential  and it's OK.

[BitterApple]

Derick, sweetheart, at some point in the future you may get hit with several unexpected expenses that wipe out your emergency fund and you have to go into debt/take out a loan for something essential  and it's OK.

I think he was just parroting the lines he knew Boob wanted to hear. I didn't buy that everyone in Derick's family always bought used cars either. 

[NausetGirl]

Also, the Royal family brings in more money in tourism and other landholdings that channel all profits to the state than they cost. They're not living of the largesse of the British tax payers. We spend more on our president and government employees. In any case, both the Duggars and the Royals have enough money to buy their own nappies and baby clothes.

 

It's tacky, in my opinion, for Jill and Derek to put out a public registry. Your mileage may vary.

 

Completely agree - it's not just tacky either.  It's plain greedy. The Duggars CLAIM that they do the show on TLC as a ministry.  Just exactly how watching them build soap box derby cars helps bring me closer to God I don't know.  I say they do it for the paycheck but if I'm wrong, Duggars, prove it.  It would be a ministry to say "in lieu of gifts, please donate something to X or even the charity of your choice on behalf of the baby..."  If you don't, and leave things as they are, you are the only people benefitting from this "ministry."  You who can easily afford whatever baby supplies you'll need.  When many of the people out there who send you gifts are far less well-off than you.

Edited October 15, 2014 by NausetGirl

[glow]

I think he was just parroting the lines he knew Boob wanted to hear. I didn't buy that everyone in Derick's family always bought used cars either. 

 

I agree. But when were Jill and Derick ever going to be able to have a real conversation where they could be upfront, no matter how awkward and uncomfortable it may be. Okay, fine, they're not having sex. Okay, fine, they're not kissing. Okay, fine, they had to pledge to be married before they could even feel each other's hand -- but one thing they should have had is the chance to genuinely talk about stuff like finances and sex, and who likes which side of the bed. And not be obligated to give pat and trite answers, much less pat and trite answers to please Jim Bob and Michelle. 

[BitterApple]

I also thought Boob was rude when he asked how Derick paid for college. I know Derick mentioned scholarships, but given Mr. Dillard's dangerous line of work he must have had a fairly decent life insurance policy in case he got killed in the line of duty. Derick also went to a State school which would have been considerably cheaper than private. Either way it was none of Boob's business and I thought Derick bristled when he asked him the question.

[Mrsjumbo]

It is so insulting to Derick if they really did ask him those questions. That is for Jill & Derick to discuss, BETWEEN THEMSELVES. Once again JB & M treat their kids like morons without a brain.

Jill should have had these talks with Derick- am I going to work after marriage? How many kids? What if we are struggling financially?

And JB- I do buy my cars new & make my car payment on time & run my car over 200,000 miles. It's called establishing a good credit line. There is nothing wrong with paying a mortgage vs renting. Not everyone has to do what you say.

SO controlling!

[PityFree]

Has JB ever been able to provide health insurance for his kids? New shoes? Their own beds? Access to a good education? JB is the last person to grill anyone about money.

Derrick: get AAA. The fancy plan with unlimited towing.

Edited October 15, 2014 by PityFree

[HeyNow]

I don't believe the house is temporary, like you're really moving your daughter and her husband into this house; you're decorating it and she's now pregnant -- and you're putting up a for sale sign at the same time, telling them if it sells tomorrow, they move soon? I know that's what they're saying but I doubt he's pressed submit on the real estate listing. It's a great house but you can't give them that much instability. To me, I hope it's not true.

I agree.  And......who would put nails in the wall for (was it 100??!!) pictures!

[Darknight]

I also thought Boob was rude when he asked how Derick paid for college. I know Derick mentioned scholarships, but given Mr. Dillard's dangerous line of work he must have had a fairly decent life insurance policy in case he got killed in the line of duty. Derick also went to a State school which would have been considerably cheaper than private. Either way it was none of Boob's business and I thought Derick bristled when he asked him the question.

What a bitch. If I were Derrick I would ask Mr. JB how did he afford 19 kids and only renting out properties. How did he afford that house with little education or job

Has JB ever been able to provide health insurance for his kids? New shoes? Their own beds? Access to a good education? JB is the last person to grill anyone about money.

Derrick: get AAA. The fancy plan with unlimited towing.

They buy used, god will provide. I think JB is intimidated by Derrick

[WTFFF]

 

Then he tests him with some hypothetical of what if your engine blew up and you had no money left in a emergency account, would you take on debt? Predictably Derick says no.

 

 

 

What in the hell is the "right" answer to this one supposed to be?!

[NikSac]

 

What in the hell is the "right" answer to this one supposed to be?!

 

 

I'm assuming there isn't one, but he probably gave the best answer that was possible.

[Quof]

Then he tests him with some hypothetical of what if your engine blew up and you had no money left in a emergency account, would you take on debt? Predictably Derick says no.

 

 

Sillies, you pray (or whore your family out on television), and the Lord will provide.

[Jynnan tonnix]

 

 

 

What in the hell is the "right" answer to this one supposed to be?!

 

I wonder, too, what the response would be if, after having given the pat answer, Derick went ahead and DID finance a car when and if he found himself between a rock and a tight place. I can't imagine that "disobedience" on this sort of level would warrant full out shunning. And Boob could hardly force Jill's husband & bread-winner to do time at a reprogramming camp or compel some such other move which would cost him his job.

Edited October 15, 2014 by Jynnan tonnix

[WTFFF]

I literally can't think of ANY answer though.  If you have no savings and your only car breaks down, I literally can't think of an option that isn't "borrow money" or "quit your job, go off the grid and wait for Doomsday." 

[floridamom]

I would have loved for Derick to say to Jim Bob, well, I would put Jill to work at Burger King to make up the difference in a new car and pay it off with her salary asap.

One more thing, if Jill and Derick were 2 weeks away from their wedding, Jim Bob should have already known these things about Derick's life and there would be no need to ask him how he paid for college, etc., I would think he covered that up front in the pre courting interrogation he had with Derick to allow him anywhere near hie precious Jilly Muffin.

[floridamom]

I can see right here that Jill knows no boundaries herself. She is a 23 year old woman? A new wife, sorry,  does NOT interrupt her husband's concentration at work by sending him messages, photos, and meeting him for lunch every day either...that guy needs his separate space to concentrate on his job. He works with numbers which need to be accurate. I'm sure his co-workers and supervisor will be annoyed at constant interruptions with personal social media messages from his wife. Can't she leave that guy alone to do what he has to do? Jill seems to be a bit overbearing and Derick is a mild mannered guy. Oil and water...he will tire of her constant hanging onto him.

[floridamom]

One other thing here, about Jim Bob, I hope it's the right thread, but we are speaking about how he can be here, Back those years ago when a 20something Michelle was washing clothes 24/7 and had that breakdown, probably while expecting #6, she asked Jim Bob for a new washer. That SOB refused her! He told her he needed the seed money for their future...sorry folks, I understand he had a plan for the future, but I think that was abusive of him towards an emotional 17 year old Michelle. She was washing constantly and got up during the night to keep the loads moving along...to me, he treated her quite poorly. When did he start to worship her? I would think even though he had a plan, he would have that "emergency fund" he described to Derick for such things as washing machines...he obviously didn't know everything back then, did he? Jerk.

[Turquoise]

I agree.  And......who would put nails in the wall for (was it 100??!!) pictures!

I was wondering while the girls were decorating if any of the multitudes of pictures featured Derrick's family...

[GEML]

The right answer was, "I would realize Jill and I can't do this on our own and would call on you, Jim Bob, for help."

[Adeejay]

It's tacky, in my opinion, for Jill and Derek to put out a public registry. Your mileage may vary.

 

 

I know it’s hard to believe, but the Duggars have thousands if not millions of fans.  In all fairness, Jill and Derek knew they were going to receive thousands of gifts for the wedding and the baby, so they probably figured that they should ask for what they really want.  Based on some of the things on their “wish list”, the word “greed” comes to mind.  The sad thing is that they are better off financially than the majority of the senders.

[msblossom]

Good answer, GEML!!

JB and Michelle will be drilling that message into Dill's heads so they can keep them on a leash. They don't want them to truly be autonomous. The Duggar's m/o is CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL. And what's so annoying is that it's not at all what the bible teaches. Leave and cleave means you keep your damn nose outta your married/engaged kids bidness, SELF RIGHTEOUS MORONS.

Derrick, you better learn to put JB in his place and get outta that house and find your own digs. Until you do, you'll never be your own man.

[msblossom]

I know it’s hard to believe, but the Duggars have thousands if not millions of fans.  In all fairness, Jill and Derek knew they were going to receive thousands of gifts for the wedding and the baby, so they probably figured that they should ask for what they really want.  Based on some of the things on their “wish list”, the word “greed” comes to mind.  The sad thing is that they are better off financially than the majority of the senders.

I disagree.

This is most likely Jill's influence because she's been indoctrinated her whole life and on the show with this "taking" mentality and now she's taking it into her marriage. People like this turn me off.

I find it tacky, gauche, and self-indulgent.

[ChicksDigScars]

I also thought Boob was rude when he asked how Derick paid for college. I know Derick mentioned scholarships, but given Mr. Dillard's dangerous line of work he must have had a fairly decent life insurance policy in case he got killed in the line of duty. Derick also went to a State school which would have been considerably cheaper than private. Either way it was none of Boob's business and I thought Derick bristled when he asked him the question.

 

OMG. That was SO INCREDIBLY rude and insulting towards Derick. And somewhere last night, I hope Cathy had a full blown hissy fit when she saw that scene play out on her teevy. And yeah, I could almost see a look flash across Derick's face, but being a smart kid, knew that he needed to cover and pacify these two morons across the table from him. 

 

As I said in the episode thread, JB's comment about student loans was almost accusatory. "Well, you went to an evil, heathen, public University, you must have student loan debt." I would have high fived my TV and head butted the dog if Derick had said, "Yes, but I have a COLLEGE DEGREE and a JOB that my father-in-law didn't have to get for me. And benefits. I'm good."

 

That whole insulting conversation might be necessary this week, with the impending marriage of the uneducated, unemployed, no benefits, dumber-than-dirt, teenager whose balls currently reside in a pickle jar on Jessa's nightstand, but not with the guy who works in the corporate accounting department of the world's largest retailer. 

[SmallTownMom]

What bride doesn't want to decorate her own home?  Is Princess Jill that lazy, that she needs her sisters as "interior decorators"?  I also wondered if there are any pics of the Dillard side.  Anyway, I thought some of those pictures were hung way too high.  Leave the newlyweds alone, all of you.

 

Jim Boob, their finances are none of your business.  And speculating about their sex life and conception made my skin crawl.  I am surprised that you and Mechelle weren't there on the wedding night to offer advice.  And to witness the "big event."  It seems nothing is too "over the top" for you.

 

Your advice sucks.  What a bunch of phonies.  I don't want advice from anyone who talks like a 3-year-old.

 

Jill is a little girl playing grown-up.  How about pursuing your own interests while Derrick is at work, since you have nothing else to do?  I would like to see them live in the real world, where both partners have to work to get started.  Oh wait, they have "fans".  There will be love offerings.  Bunch of damned leeches.

Edited October 15, 2014 by SmallTownMom

[Adeejay]

This is most likely Jill's influence because she's been indoctrinated her whole life and on the show with this "taking" mentality and now she's taking it into her marriage. People like this turn me off.

I find it tacky, gauche, and self-indulgent.

 

I agree that it is tacky, but that doesn't change the fact that people are going to be sending them tons of stuff whether they asked for it or not.  I was floored when I saw the amount of gifts that Kim and Kanye  - of all people - received for their wedding and baby.  What I want to know is, who are these people that are sending gifts to celebrities that are better off than they are?

[BradandJanet]

Your advice sucks.  What a bunch of phonies.  I don't want advice from anyone who talks like a 3-year-old.

 

 

ITA. Especially someone shoveling down a half gallon of ice cream while giving said "advice." 

[msblossom]

I agree that it is tacky, but that doesn't change the fact that people are going to be sending them tons of stuff whether they asked for it or not.  I was floored when I saw the amount of gifts that Kim and Kanye  - of all people - received for their wedding and baby.

I disagree. These people are TAKERS. Dill, Duggars, and Kartrashians. Have some self respect and class, if people are sending unsolicited, and by unsolicited I mean not having a registry a mile long to fulfill all your wants by fans of the show, then donate the items to a local charity.

By having these massive registries and posting links and what not, these people are asking for this stuff. Tacky and greedy.

[GEML]

We can go all around the mulberry bush on the "takers-vs-givers" thing, and the answers are Yes and Yes.  Yes the Duggars are takers.  But it's also true that they are in a world where people are going to give and give and give.  I'd rather have a package of baby washcloths than yet another stuffed animal, which is what people are going to send.  And for all of you who were grossed out about the mattresses and sofa beds, ask yourself if you'd want a stuffed animal from someone you don't know, and if you'd feel comfortable donating it?  It just ends up in some landfill when you could have had something that you might actually use.

Again, I realize that the reality TV stuff distorts everything, but they also come from a church culture that DOES actual do this in a genuine and reciprocal way.  You honestly do get tons of stuff when you get married and when you have a baby.  From total strangers.  And you don't have to be a celebrity or a "taker" to be part of it.

[WTFFF]

I can see right here that Jill knows no boundaries herself. She is a 23 year old woman? A new wife, sorry,  does NOT interrupt her husband's concentration at work by sending him messages, photos, and meeting him for lunch every day either...that guy needs his separate space to concentrate on his job. He works with numbers which need to be accurate. I'm sure his co-workers and supervisor will be annoyed at constant interruptions with personal social media messages from his wife. Can't she leave that guy alone to do what he has to do? Jill seems to be a bit overbearing and Derick is a mild mannered guy. Oil and water...he will tire of her constant hanging onto him.

 

Although she seems annoying as hell sometimes, remember, they're not just newlyweds, they're still in the first year of knowing each other.  I'm sure Derick can't get enough of her either.  But I hope to god he turns his phone off and ignores her texts until breaktime. 

 

 

That whole insulting conversation might be necessary this week, with the impending marriage of the uneducated, unemployed, no benefits, dumber-than-dirt, teenager whose balls currently reside in a pickle jar on Jessa's nightstand

 

And I just spit gummy bears all over my computer screen.  Hee.

[Vivigirl10]

 

A new wife, sorry,  does NOT interrupt her husband's concentration at work by sending him messages, photos, and meeting him for lunch every day either

A new wife doesn't do those things but you know who does?  A stalker.  Seriously, I can think of no man that I know of who would be agreeable, let alone in "love", with such behavior.  Derrick may appear "normal" but I have to give the dude a huge side eye.  He has voluntarily tied himself to a woman with no education, talent, personality, or opinions.....this is by choice!  The entire meaning of her life is to serve him and have babies.  The only type of man who would find this type of woman desirable is a control freak, chauvenistic pig.  Add to this enticing scenerio a couple of looney toons, overbearing, meddling, controlling in-laws?  Again, what type of man would agree to this freak show?  There have to be some serious, serious issues going on with him.  If he were willing to overlook all of this crap simply because he fell in love with Jill, then I believe a sensible man would also advise that they were going to hold off on the baby-making, get to know each other, get her some exposure to life in 2014, and open her closed off little mind.  And since she is a complete and total subservient robot who isn't allowed to form a thought of her own, she would have no choice but to agree.  But that obviously is not what happened here. 

 

The charade of perfection perpetuated by this family has gone on waaaay too long, but in my experience, frauds are always revealed to be what they truly are.  A big downfall is in the future, it just may take longer than most would like. 

[NausetGirl]

I disagree. These people are TAKERS. Dill, Duggars, and Kartrashians. Have some self respect and class, if people are sending unsolicited, and by unsolicited I mean not having a registry a mile long to fulfill all your wants by fans of the show, then donate the items to a local charity.

By having these massive registries and posting links and what not, these people are asking for this stuff. Tacky and greedy.

 

Jill and Derick should have returned EVERY single gift sent to them by someone they did not personally know.  Or have donated them to charity.  Not given to other family members - or the Bateses, Querys, Maxwells or any of Anna's family either.  TFDW, I'm looking at you.  But as we all know, this probably did not happen.  If it did, Boob and MeChelle would have been sure to have it filmed and broadcast.

 

Right now I'm trying hard to think of ANY time when the Duggars donated something other than their time - or the proceeds of that warehouse auction [which was actually other people's money].  And I can't think of one.  The in-large-part useless stuff they hauled one time to Central America at Christmas does not count.  Those people need food, shelter and hygiene - not toys.

Edited October 15, 2014 by NausetGirl

[msblossom]

We can go all around the mulberry bush on the "takers-vs-givers" thing, and the answers are Yes and Yes. Yes the Duggars are takers. But it's also true that they are in a world where people are going to give and give and give. I'd rather have a package of baby washcloths than yet another stuffed animal, which is what people are going to send. And for all of you who were grossed out about the mattresses and sofa beds, ask yourself if you'd want a stuffed animal from someone you don't know, and if you'd feel comfortable donating it? It just ends up in some landfill when you could have had something that you might actually use.

Again, I realize that the reality TV stuff distorts everything, but they also come from a church culture that DOES actual do this in a genuine and reciprocal way. You honestly do get tons of stuff when you get married and when you have a baby. From total strangers. And you don't have to be a celebrity or a "taker" to be part of it.

I get it. But I still disagree. :)

They are soliciting the wedding/baby gifts -- this, to me, is uncouth. And greedy. I don't know why I have such a strong visceral reaction to it, but I do, and it smacks of "gimme gimme gimme".

I wouldn't give a second thought to donating new items/gifts to local charity and used items to Goodwill.

Edited October 15, 2014 by msblossom

[floridamom]

Kiki620: I wonder where Derick's mother and brother were in all this when it began? I know Mrs. Byrum was quite ill around wedding planning time, but before that, she flew back with him from Nepal, didn't she and she seemed ok enough to take the trip and I'm sure would have had the focus and mental energy to speak to Derick about what the heck he was doing! She seems like a normal woman who has a normal religion, etc..why was this endeavor of Derick's "okd" by him mom? For sure, she had to see major warning flags....

P.S., I knew a Kiki in Fort Lauderdale when I was in 6th grade.

[floridamom]

The right answer to the infamous question put to Derick, auto engines and debt, would have been for Derick to say that was going to call Jim Bob every morning at 7am and have JB drive him to and from work every day until he can save up enough money to rectify the situation...that would have gotten Jim Bob's attention and he would have had a spare car for Derick asap!

[BitterApple]

The fact that Derick mentioned paying for the engine repair out of his emergency fund shows he's no dumb bunny when it comes to finances. He clearly understands the importance of saving for a rainy day. Boob was really taking it too far. 

[cmr2014]

 

Right now I'm trying hard to think of ANY time when the Duggars donated something other than their time - or the proceeds of that warehouse auction [which was actually other people's money].  And I can't think of one.

 

I was thinking about this yesterday. Before TLC came along, the Duggars were first in line to take whatever their church offered: housing, food, clothing. etc.

 

Now that they have the TLC checks coming in, they are no longer members of the church, but have created their own "church." You would think that a family that received as much in the way of "love offerings" when they were struggling, would be happy to pay it forward once they were doing well. Not the Duggars, though.

 

[BradandJanet]

There were a thousand guests at the wedding. Even if each family gave a set of handmade dishtowels or package of generic diapers (it's a wedding after all), that's still hundreds of gifts. Maybe some families would even pool their resources and buy a blender. Publicizing the registry just looks life grifting for those of us with normal boundaries.

 

 

[GEML]

The fact that Derick mentioned paying for the engine repair out of his emergency fund shows he's no dumb bunny when it comes to finances. He clearly understands the importance of saving for a rainy day. Boob was really taking it too far.

Also his answer about his college scholarship being for four years, so he knew he couldn't change his major a bunch of times. That's a very practical answer in a world JB knows nothing about, and I thought it very handily reminded JB of that, for all Michelle chimed in, "Oh, you really did find a man like your father, Jill."