Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[sometimesy]

OK their donations come from people who are fully aware of their double dipping (TLC money and donations) and their strategy of whatever the hell they are doing, so in that sense it isn't a scam. It's just grifting.

Edited February 14, 2016 by sometimesy

[riverblue22]

For Jill's sake, I hope she didn't miscarry.

 

I hope that isn't it as well.  However, I understand that there is an increase in miscarriage with the zika virus.

[Mollie]

The Dillards didn't register their nonprofit as a church.  A church has different rules for tax-exempt status.

 

The Dillards are required to run their organization for "public benefit" and, as Directors, Jill and Derick cannot personally benefit from donated funds.  They are also required to file tax returns showing how much money was collected and how it was spent.  All funds must be used to accomplish the organization's mission statement.

 

If you believe that the activities or operations of a tax-exempt organization are inconsistent with its tax-exempt status, you may file a complaint with the Exempt Organizations Examination Division, at the following address:

 

IRS EO Classification
Mail Code 4910
1100 Commerce Street
Dallas, TX 75242

 

You may also use Form 13909 Tax-Exempt Organization Complaint (Referral) Form, for this purpose.  

https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f13909.pdf

 

Dillard Family Ministries
Registered Agent: Legacy Consulting, 528 South Louisiana Street, Suite 222, Little Rock, AR 72201

[JoanArc]

http://www.inquisitr.com/2794376/jill-duggar-dillard-is-on-a-foot-fetish-website-fans-think-she-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/

 

 

Jill Duggar Dillard recently sparked a rumor that she’s pregnant with her second child by simply sharing a photo of husband Derick Dillard painting her toenails, but this baby rumor isn’t the reason why Jill might want to be more careful about posting pictures of her feet on the internet—there are already numerous pictures of Jill’s tootsies on a foot fetish site called WikiFeet. In other slightly less bizarre news regarding the former 19 Kids and Counting star, some of her fans are convinced that she’s given birth to a baby girl.

 Jessa must be steamed about not being first to fetish model.

[Churchhoney]

The Dillards didn't register their nonprofit as a church.  A church has different rules for tax-exempt status.

 

The Dillards are required to run their organization for "public benefit" and, as Directors, Jill and Derick cannot personally benefit from donated funds.  They are also required to file tax returns showing how much money was collected and how it was spent.  All funds must be used to accomplish the organization's mission statement.

 

 

A couple of high hurdles for anybody who wants to complain:

 

"Public benefit" is simply as opposed to "private benefit." So if your ministry offers some kind of religious rites or other activities that are open to the public and not confined to "group members only," then you can -- under the way the laws are currently interpreted -- pass a "public benefit" test quite easily. These two clearly wander around the area "offering" their religious rites and conversations to everybody and anybody. And that's how "public benefit" has generally been construed.

 

Second, it's quite common for board directors of small nonprofits to also be paid employees of those nonprofits. And that's clearly what the Dullards are doing here. They're directors of the nonprofit but also missionaries of the nonprofit. As long as there are other board members as well and as long as salaries are relatively modest -- say under $100,000 a year or so -- that's generally considered completely permissible. If they consulted a lawyer at all, then they know that they can't be the only board members, so I think it's safe to assume that they probably have more board directors now, listed on some document somewhere. If they do, then there's no problem with Jill and Derick being both board members and paid employees -- in this case, "missionaries."

 

On the salary question, somebody could certainly look at whatever salary Derick is taking, for example, and argue that it's too high. However, you can't argue that based on the fact that the salaried person is wealthy or has other money coming from somewhere. If a Rockefeller is getting a nonprofit salary of $250,000 per annum, he or she is perfectly within rights to do so if that's in line with what other nonprofits with similar sizes and missions are paying, no matter how much money he/she has otherwise. All you can base the judgment on is whether the salary is within the reasonable range for other people doing similar "work." So if Derick is pulling a salary from the Dill Fam Mission that's in the ballpark of what Mike Schadt of S.O.S. is making, for example, it would probably be impossible for anybody to make the case that he shouldn't be getting that money. This becomes especially difficult when it comes to charities operating as religious entities, because the "work" they do is so intangible that the IRS has very little ability to actually judge what that work is "worth" in monetary terms. And so the religious groups almost always get the benefit of the doubt as long as they aren't paying people amounts that would be outsized for any charity.

 

There certainly are people in the nonprofit regulatory system -- and in the public as well -- who try to push for extending nonprofit tax-free status only to organizations that do work that everybody would consider "charity" -- i.e., the well digging and so on. But this movement has so far gotten very little momentum -- and it's especially stymied when it comes to faith-based nonprofits such as missionary groups. The argument for doing intangible things based on faith -- and the fear that surrounds the idea of criticizing faith-based groups because their "public benefits" are intangible -- is just too strong in the United States for such critics to have made any headway so far.

 

All of that -- plus the fact that this is a tiny tiny two-bit nonprofit, and the IRS is already way underfunded and therefore unable to keep up even with huge potentially scamming and cheating nonprofits -- means that, while it might be a fun idea to think someone could get them to go after the Dullards, it's way way unlikely.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Churchhoney

[Missy Vixen]

According to an article I just saw posted at Pickles, Triple D is "preaching" once a week. I'd like to know how he accomplishes this feat without actually speaking the language fluently. (Yes, I know there are translators, but of COURSE he doesn't need one of those...)

 

Anyone who's self-employed knows that taxes must be filed quarterly. There's already been filings if this is the case re: the Dullards' "ministry". One can only speculate on when said filings will be available for viewing.

 

Imagine what "stretched thin" could possibly mean. He sure isn't wasting any time on personal grooming these days.

[sometimesy]

I think what stretched refers to the truth. I still don't understand why it's not acceptable to go the extra mile and actually do something to HELP the community in a more practical way, AS WELL as their spiritual bullshit. Sure they may believe they are there to save souls from fire and brimstone, but why does that exclude any practical help? Since Jill has benefitted so much from the generosity of strangers, it boggles my mind that the Duggs and Dullards are so stingy.

[Churchhoney]

Since Jill has benefitted so much from the generosity of strangers,

 

Do you think she has any idea that she's benefited from strangers' generosity, though? JB and M certainly don't seem to. They seem to believe that everything they've ever received was because the Lord directed stuff their way because they're so great. I've never heard them utter a word about being grateful for the "love offerings" of food on their porch before they got the tv show, for example.

 

They seem to think that they're doing God's work by having a million uber-Christian children and anything they get is simply in recognition and support of that all-important contribution they're making to the heavenly kingdom. And Jill not being anything like an independent thinker probably has swallowed that hook, line and sinker.

 

She apparently deeply admires and respects parents who preach the idea that they're helping poor people by dropping off bags of Dumdums and applying cheap nail polish to children.

 

The only hope for her is to get enough exposure to the rest of the world to realize that that's nonsense. And, to me, as long as she's not in the Duggar house, there's at least a slim hope that a penny may one day drop. I wouldn't call it more than a slim hope, since grifting seems to run in families -- and of course continuing to believe that Christ supports your grifting is the easiest way to be -- but still.

 

And it's not just Jill, I expect. I imagine that most of the Duggar kids think they're more than repaying whatever they've received when they accost strangers in shopping malls and tell them "the good news" or when Jessa posts a quote on instagram calling people's attention to the fact that they're all hellbound sinners.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Churchhoney

[Fuzzysox]

http://www.inquisitr.com/2794376/jill-duggar-dillard-is-on-a-foot-fetish-website-fans-think-she-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/

 

 Jessa must be steamed about not being first to fetish model.

LMAO at Jill's super uterus because she had a girl and it looks just like Derick!

[RazzleberryPie]

I think Michelle is purposing to gain weight because she can't get big pregnant anymore.  Poor JB can't do the hands around the wife's pregnant stomach pose anymore.  I've heard that 'green shirt'  is good luck for conceiving.  Not going to happen Michelle.  The fertility doctor you went to see couldn't even make you fertile again.  I think Derick is trying to look like Jesus to fool the locals into thinking he's the second coming and his difficulties are all about not being able to do that.

I think she's just going through menopause = weight gain due to hormonal changes and slower metabolism.

 

http://www.inquisitr.com/2794376/jill-duggar-dillard-is-on-a-foot-fetish-website-fans-think-she-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/

 

 Jessa must be steamed about not being first to fetish model.

Don't be silly. FEET can't be SEXY! Michelle Duggar, Mother of the Year

Since Jill has benefitted so much from the generosity of strangers, it boggles my mind that the Duggs and Dullards are so stingy.

They don't think they need to pay it forward or reciprocate, because they deserve all these blessings from the Lord, because they're so special. Remember, they do things a little differently........ Jill's whole adult existence - and a big chunk of her childhood, but let's focus on her adult existence = when she got married and officially 'left' the Duggar nest - has been funded on gifts, registries, donations, love offerings, etc. She's never worked a day in her life. Derick at least worked for Walmart for a minute, but Jill is one of those people who just expects things handed to her, and so far, it has been. She would not know how to function if she actually had to earn an income. Heck, she didn't know how to function when Derrick had to earn an income and be at a white collar office job for 8 whole hours per day.

[cereality]

I understand if Derick wants to grow a fuller beard to hide his jaw and/or to not have to look at it too closely himself, but ew -- must he look like a woodsman who hasn't seen a shower or razor in 3 months?! His family seems to have weird ideas re facial hair -- I mean Dan looks downright creepy with his beard since he has grown it up to his cheeks, which he should still be shaving even if he wants a full beard. And now Derick is following suit with his creepy beard. How does Jill sleep with him!?

 

Something seems off about Derick now. This is not the guy who married her 1 (2?) years ago. He was so clean looking and clean cut (which has nothing to do with a beard bc he had a nice one back that that suited his face). I'm sure major surgery isn't helping physically, but mentally -- is he so down/depressed/anxious about the future/whatever else that he's totally let himself go -- to the point that bathing and shaving aren't a necessity? I'm not saying this jokingly. I have a friend that definitely went thru a hard time (job related) where getting out of bed and showering daily were HUGE efforts -- so those types of neglect of personal hygiene can be a sign of something greater.

[SometimesBites]

Anyone who's self-employed knows that taxes must be filed quarterly.

True, but they wouldn't be self employed. They'd be employed by the 501c3.

Edited February 15, 2016 by SometimesBites

[Churchhoney]

 

 

Something seems off about Derick now. This is not the guy who married her 1 (2?) years ago....mentally -- is he so down/depressed/anxious about the future/whatever else

 

I haven't thought Bin looked so great lately either. My completely unsupported guess is that they're two half-bright, kinda naive but sort of idealistic young-for-their-ages guys who thought that marrying into the Duggar clan would be a dream come true. And now they're finding that it has some qualities of a nightmare.

[RazzleberryPie]

I think derricks' new wolfman look is partially from laziness and partially from being sanctimonious.

Lazy, because a whole lot of men who live that shaggy hair, bushy beard trend like it bc it's a lot easier than shaving and grooming. That's no metro beard, that's an 'I don't want to shave' beard. A shave and a haircut can be found for super cheap in a lot of places, and is a great way to actually get to know people in neighborhoods. He looked groomed in Nepal and the US. Now he looks crazy.

Sanctimonious, because they're not conforming to the world, y'all. Like Jesus. We don't have time to focus on vanities like grooming, because we're doing the Lord's work you vain heathens. Didn't you know the OT says something about men not cutting beards? See how holy his beard makes me? Now pass the plate.

What they don't factor in, and is really stupid and self centered, is the perception of born again Christians In their area of ministry vs their own perception, including clothing choices. In other words, if you don't look and act like what the locals can identify with, you're not going to make a connections.

Prime example: my church sent some medical professionals to a rural part of Kenya and Uganda a few years ago. They went to a Protestant Christian area to do medical work. Most of the time they wore scrubs. The local Christian women would not go near our females in scrubs or send their children, because prostitutes in that area wore scrubs. The American women often didn't have a male chaperone to buy fruit or whatever, which also meant prostitute. The local women didn't want to be associated with prostitutes and couldn't connect that something that walked like a duck and talked like a duck wasn't a duck. So...after a day or so our women put in long skirts, lab jackets and scrub hats or scarves tied like WWI nurses. They had a male, even if he were 12 accompany them outside the clinic area. They looked the part, they respected the culture, and the families started interacting.

Another instance - we have a family story of a relative who was sent to India as a young priest. He was assigned a valet, cook, maid, etc, by the church there. He thought he was being generous by washing his own dishes and making his own breakfast, but had the housemaid in tears. She thought he did it bc she was incompetent, while he thought he was helping her out. He soon leaned to leave his clothes on the floor and dishes everywhere, and everyone was happy.

My point is that once again, by 'doing things a little differently' and looking like crazy wild ungroomed people, the Dillards aren't factoring in culture and are not making their fellowship ministry look appealing to locals.

[GeeGolly]

I'm not sure Derick & Ben are disappointed in their marriages or in-laws. It's not like they had any great plans that got thwarted by marrying Duggar girls. Ben would be fixing windshields with no audience for his religious rants, and Derick would be dancing skits solo.

[Ljohnson1987]

If I were Derrick or Ben, I'd  be kicking myself in the ass.

[RazzleberryPie]

I don't know, they lucked into the Duggar gravy train, which is still very lucrative in the Evangelical Christian market. They have a built in audience for whatever they want to do - fund mission work, sell books, speak at events, schill products, etc.

Plus, both seem to genuinely love their wives. I think Bin just looks 'new baby tired' - even if you don't have to leave the house for work and can nap during the day, infants wear anyone out. I can see Jessa as being the type who would expect Bin to get up and do everything except lactate.

Now back to Derrick - he may be overwhelmed and clueless about what life with a succubus wife and baby is like. Bin had a lot of siblings and had a better idea, but I don't think Derrick had a clue as to how clingy Jill is or how much work a baby is, in a foreign country, with a language barrier and not much support.

Now from my experience with missionaries in free countries (as opposed to communist or strict religious aces like a lot of the Middle East), there are always a bunch of short term missioncationers revolving through, and they live to dote on their missionary couples. Churches always seem to have some pastor crushing grandmas who site on preachers kids. It's not like Jill and Derrick hare underground in some bunker in Iraq or North Korea, or some remote place where they are isolated. You know Jill will hand off her baby in a heartbeat - like her mama - they just choose that static cling behavior.

Derrick does have some intelligence, but fairly book smart people can have no clue about what their asking for until they're neck deep and overwhelmed.

[Marigold]

Now back to Derrick - he may be overwhelmed and clueless about what life with a succubus wife and baby is like. Bin had a lot of siblings and had a better idea, but I don't think Derrick had a clue as to how clingy Jill is or how much work a baby is, in a foreign country, with a language barrier and not much support.

 

 Totally agree. Derick really had no clue. Ben's family traveled in the same circles (somewhat) as the Duggars so Ben might've understood better how their religion works, their culture works and how the Duggar circus works. 

Derick is more of a "convert" to fundamentalism and is probably surprised at  a lot ot things.

Plus, I always thought Jill was a bit looney.  Jessa is bitchier but seems more stable. Jill looks like she could loose it at any moment. Mix all that together for Derick and he is is probably just fried.  

 

Who knows?  Maybe the two of them regret being fake missionaries and want to come back home. But the plotline for a potential show is much better with Jill as a missionary. Jim Bob NEEDS a "good child" for publicity reasons after Josh.   If they come back home, they will feel like losers so they are both sucking it up and trying to smile. Being a fake missionary might be a bit harder than they planned with a small child.

I think Derick's sloppy look speaks to his mental health status. I bet he is depressed.  Jill might be in bad shape but knows how to smile easily for cameras. 

[kokapetl]

I think Derrick is trying to have Jill experience life outside the Duggar bubble. That she was driving three round trips to Walmart HQ each day, to spend as much time with him as she could, must've have been alarming.

[cereality]

I think both Derick and Ben appeared generally happy before they got married. Derick in that -- I just graduated college, I'm glad I get to see the world for a bit (i.e. Nepal) and then in a few yrs I'll have my own wife and family -- way. Ben in that young, naïve -- my parents take care of my needs, I have friends, I play football on the city team, and I will soon too have a wife and family -- way. And then they both got married and were shocked. For Derick -- I'm sure it's ALL a shock. He knew he was marrying into a conservative family, but I'm sure his vision of what a conservative family is is like the Bates family -- where they are raised conservative, have the values, but once they marry they have the "freedom" to live their own lives. Yet here he is 2 yrs later -- saddled with a clingy wife that wanted a baby on day 1, gave up a Fortune 500 job and pretty much had to flee to a foreign country for made up mission work to get out from under his father in law's thumb and away from the taint of his skeevy brother in law. And this is a guy who just 4 yrs ago gave an interview to his university paper that his dream job would be doing finance for a fortune 500 -- guess he didn't get to realize his dream for over a yr bc it's the Duggars' dreams that matter now.

 

And Ben -- yes he had moved in the fundie circles and had an idea of what it would be like to be 20, uneducated with a wife and child and yet until it happens to you, I don't think you can quite understand it. And these circles aren't exactly honest. I'm sure he knew other young fathers from these circles, but it's not like these guys ever hang by themselves and act honest; they would dare not say to him -- bro I love my wife and 4 kids but if I had to do it again, I'd go to college and not marry until 22, it's been SOOO hard to have 4 kids when I'm only 22 myself and working minimum wage jobs. No of course not bc saying something honest like that would be viewed as being ungrateful for your blessings. Rather all he's ever heard from these stressed out young dads is -- I'm SOOOO blessed, every man should want this ASAP. And now that he's knee deep into diapers and child rearing and dealing with a bitchy wife, he's thinking -- THIS is what was supposed to be such a blessing?? While looking around at his other friends who didn't go down that road and secretly being jealous -- as I think Ben does have friends outside the family (who were his groomsmen) and a few are going the traditional college route.

[BitterApple]

I think Derrick is trying to have Jill experience life outside the Duggar bubble. That she was driving three round trips to Walmart HQ each day, to spend as much time with him as she could, must've have been alarming.

Exactly. In the real world, a couple would date, and if the girl/guy acted like Jill, they'd be kicked to the curb so fast their head would spin. But Derick can't do that. He married a girl he barely knew and didn't discover she was a helpless lifesuck until after the honeymoon.

[kokapetl]

Derick is lying in the bed he's made, I don't think he's content to writhe in wet sheets like a Duggar though.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Kokapetl

[cereality]

Derick is lying in the bed he's made.

I still don't understand why Derick did it this way. He's the man in an otherwise patriarchal culture. He could have insisted to her and to her parents that if they want to end up man and wife, he MUST date the girl for 6 months in the U.S. -- not via Skype and not with chaperones. I realize JB would have balked, but honestly he wouldn't have BALKED that loud bc he has 19 kids and what 10 or so daughters? Here's a college educated conservative man who is willing to give is Jilly Muffin a good life, and all we have to do is wait 6 months -- he would have begrudgingly been ok with it esp knowing this is a conservative, religious man who isn't going to try to sleep with his daughter before marriage. And yet Derick acted like HE is the one that NEEDED the Duggars, not the other way around. At the end of the day, he didn't. Had he slowed down the courtship and JB had said -- either propose now or you're gone, Derick could have left easily. He had a college degree and an entry level corporate job at Walmart. It's not like he needed to keep JB happy in order get a job in JB's empire and to make money off the TLC circus -- unlike Ben.

[Wellfleet]

I still don't understand why Derick did it this way. He's the man in an otherwise patriarchal culture. He could have insisted to her and to her parents that if they want to end up man and wife, he MUST date the girl for 6 months in the U.S. -- not via Skype and not with chaperones. I realize JB would have balked, but honestly he wouldn't have BALKED that loud bc he has 19 kids and what 10 or so daughters? Here's a college educated conservative man who is willing to give is Jilly Muffin a good life, and all we have to do is wait 6 months -- he would have begrudgingly been ok with it esp knowing this is a conservative, religious man who isn't going to try to sleep with his daughter before marriage. And yet Derick acted like HE is the one that NEEDED the Duggars, not the other way around. At the end of the day, he didn't. Had he slowed down the courtship and JB had said -- either propose now or you're gone, Derick could have left easily. He had a college degree and an entry level corporate job at Walmart. It's not like he needed to keep JB happy in order get a job in JB's empire and to make money off the TLC circus -- unlike Ben.

 

But I don't think Derick himself realized all the things you're saying, which are absolutely true. He could have insisted on more time, he could have insisted on dating rather than courtship etc. Yes, truly. But he's also, apparently, the least-confrontational male in human history. And he was up against Boob, who I'm sure tries to appear as intimidating as possible to most if not all of the people he meets. Derick needed parental help to ask the girl out, for pity's sake. He couldn't even do it in person. Have we ever heard a peep from anyone who dated/courted Derick in the past? Personally I haven't. I have to say I wouldn't be surprised if we were to find out Jill was Derick's first - in every respect. Crush, date, girlfriend and so on - the works.

[kokapetl]

Derick basically was desperate to be married ASAP, for various reasons.

[Missy Vixen]

Derick basically was desperate to be married ASAP, for various reasons.

And we all have to wonder what those reasons might be, besides the fact he appears to be the most passive male in history.

[kokapetl]

Daddy Dillard died suddenly, Derick may fear the same thing happening to him.

[queenanne]

I still don't understand why Derick did it this way. He's the man in an otherwise patriarchal culture. He could have insisted to her and to her parents that if they want to end up man and wife, he MUST date the girl for 6 months in the U.S. -- not via Skype and not with chaperones. I realize JB would have balked, but honestly he wouldn't have BALKED that loud bc he has 19 kids and what 10 or so daughters? Here's a college educated conservative man who is willing to give is Jilly Muffin a good life, and all we have to do is wait 6 months -- he would have begrudgingly been ok with it esp knowing this is a conservative, religious man who isn't going to try to sleep with his daughter before marriage. And yet Derick acted like HE is the one that NEEDED the Duggars, not the other way around. At the end of the day, he didn't. Had he slowed down the courtship and JB had said -- either propose now or you're gone, Derick could have left easily. He had a college degree and an entry level corporate job at Walmart. It's not like he needed to keep JB happy in order get a job in JB's empire and to make money off the TLC circus -- unlike Ben.

 

If he acts like he "needed" the Duggars, maybe it's because he really desperately "wanted" Jill.

 

If so, it stands to reason that he wouldn't want to rock the boat.  He needs Daddy Jim Bob's approval.  Play by their rules or he doesn't get his wife.  Plus, wasn't he alone(ish) in Nepal with Jill?  Which wasn't a situation where he would have been able to test "how will she act after we are married, has cleaved to me without her seventeen other constant companions, and I am away from her 8 hours a day".  The only proving ground for that situation, is putting Jill in that situation, and seeing how she acts.

 

Just because there are some random examples running around there where "a newly minted headship" does not crack the whip like the circus ringmaster over his wife, also doesn't mean there isn't next to unbearable pressure for him to lockstep it the way all the other fundie boys are going about things, regardless of how they the individual male feel.  "This is the right, good, God-fearing way!"  I mean, isn't this the kind of pressure cooker situation that unleashed Josh on the world?  Josh didn't speak his mind either.

Edited February 15, 2016 by queenanne

[Marigold]

Derick is puzzling to me.

Don't forget, he reached out to Jim Boob to be his prayer partner. Is that even a true story? Then he "meets" Jilly? 

 

Derick seemed like a normal guy. Then he gets involved in the circus and now he looks depressed. Isn't there another opportunity for him besides looking sloppy and being a fake missionary who doesn't speak the native language? 

[kokapetl]

Derick was an accountant. Do people really want to be accountants?

[Churchhoney]

I'm not sure Derick & Ben are disappointed in their marriages or in-laws. It's not like they had any great plans that got thwarted by marrying Duggar girls. Ben would be fixing windshields with no audience for his religious rants, and Derick would be dancing skits solo.

 

I can certainly see that as a possibility. 

 

But I envision both Derick and Bin imagining that they were getting the best of all possible wives, in marrying into the Duggar fantasy land of amazing wifehood. And now they know that they got brilliant-homemaker helpmeets who don't even cook and, much worse, women with Michelle and Jim Bob ineradicably implanted as governors in their brains, and who somehow managed to implant JB and M as governors in the guys' brains as well. Plus, in Jill, Derick got a terminal clinger, and in Jessa, Bin got a pretty major clinger who is also a bitch. Not sure how many dumb young guys rushing into marriage with famous tv stars would expect that really -- or see it as a good thing when it happened.

 

I also kind of expect that Derick envisioned himself and his Duggar life partner preparing themselves right now to be full-fledged Southern Baptist missionaries, under the auspices of the mission board. But of course Jill's complete lack of education would have killed that dream in a heartbeat. Meanwhile, I kind of think that Bin saw himself as inheriting some of the Duggar's tv magic and being on his way to having a big-time Calvinist-tv-ministry-for-the-millennials by now, climbing on the giant Duggar tv shoulders. And I expect he's now learned that that ain't likely to happen -- so why was he in such a rush to get into this family? 

[JoanArc]

Daddy Dillard died suddenly, Derick may fear the same thing happening to him.

I get that feeling too.

[MarysWetBar]

I get that feeling too.

I agree with you both. I get the feeling his Dad's death has really impacted him in ways he isn't even aware of yet. Plus his mother getting sick. I cannot imagine how hearing the news his wife was molested by her brother affected him. .or Ben, for that matter. Ben seems the type who would react aggressively whereas Derrickdillard seems pretty passive. I think he's likely an emotional mess. Edited February 15, 2016 by MarysWetBar

[RazzleberryPie]

Did Bin o Derrick know anything about the molestations before getting married? I can see that news shaking Derrick a little, too, not because Jill is 'damaged' or at fault, but because he is a more mainstream Baptist converted to fundie. If he's dealing with the tragedy of losing a father and having a mother battle cancer, then he may be escaping a little bit to this clean cut, wholesome, God-centered world. If his whole image of the Duggars, Jill, this lifestyle = focusing on wholesome worship of God and good clean living, then he finds out his brother in law molested his own wife, and the inlaws sort of swept it under the rug, then his image is altered. Maybe shattered. This world he thought was perfect is really, really, ugly, and if he loves his wife, he can't just isolate her from her family. Oh, yeah, he's also become financially dependent on that family, too. No wonder he looks confused and crazy. It's a whole lot to process.

[MarysWetBar]

Did Bin o Derrick know anything about the molestations before getting married? I can see that news shaking Derrick a little, too, not because Jill is 'damaged' or at fault, but because he is a more mainstream Baptist converted to fundie. If he's dealing with the tragedy of losing a father and having a mother battle cancer, then he may be escaping a little bit to this clean cut, wholesome, God-centered world. If his whole image of the Duggars, Jill, this lifestyle = focusing on wholesome worship of God and good clean living, then he finds out his brother in law molested his own wife, and the inlaws sort of swept it under the rug, then his image is altered. Maybe shattered. This world he thought was perfect is really, really, ugly, and if he loves his wife, he can't just isolate her from her family. Oh, yeah, he's also become financially dependent on that family, too. No wonder he looks confused and crazy. It's a whole lot to process.

He found out about Josh right after Iz was born, I think. You could see it on that last episode right before the story broke.

[CofCinci]

Derick was an accountant. Do people really want to be accountants?

Derick doesn't even want to be one.

[RazzleberryPie]

He found out about Josh right after Iz was born, I think. You could see it on that last episode right before the story broke.

I have such conflicting thoughts on not telling Derrick (or any potential spouse) about the molestations. On one hand, Jill, etc., were absolutely not at fault and didn't cause Josh to do what he did. I can see not wanting the world to know your personal business, whether it's something you choose to do, or something just done to you.

 

On the other hand, withholding that info is dangerous. I absolutely myself would be very reluctant to marry into a family that just swept the whole thing under the rug like it never happened. What else have they swept away? Jill said herself that this happens in alot of families. NO IT DOESN'T. I get her wanting to feel 'normal' and to minimize the situation, but geez. Also, this family is very close knit. I wouldn't want my future children around Uncle Josh, or potentially more family members like him. But seriously, after you're married, have a child, and are financially dependent on the bunch, what is Derrick supposed to do? 

[Churchhoney]

Did Bin o Derrick know anything about the molestations before getting married? I can see that news shaking Derrick a little, too, not because Jill is 'damaged' or at fault, but because he is a more mainstream Baptist converted to fundie. If he's dealing with the tragedy of losing a father and having a mother battle cancer, then he may be escaping a little bit to this clean cut, wholesome, God-centered world. If his whole image of the Duggars, Jill, this lifestyle = focusing on wholesome worship of God and good clean living, then he finds out his brother in law molested his own wife, and the inlaws sort of swept it under the rug, then his image is altered. Maybe shattered. This world he thought was perfect is really, really, ugly, and if he loves his wife, he can't just isolate her from her family. Oh, yeah, he's also become financially dependent on that family, too. No wonder he looks confused and crazy. It's a whole lot to process.

 

Absolutely. I'm sure that he idealized the family, especially in light of his sadness about his dad's death and so on. And then to find out about the Josh thing (not to mention all the other dysfunction) -- it really had to shape him. ... And he did have dreams. I hadn't heard about the accountancy-to-a-big-company thing. And we know that he also flirted with ideas about the FBI and certainly being a full-fledged missionary. And now here he is -- fleeing abroad to escape Jim Bob but in fact dependent on Jim Bob. A lot of what he hoped for has been shattered, I think.

[Sew Sumi]

Cathy started out as an accountant at Walmart Mart before moving up the ladder. I can see where Derick seized on that, given he was just in his first semester at OSU when his father died. He wouldn't be the first kid to change majors.

[MarysWetBar]

Yes. So running away to another country with your new wife and new baby might not seem as crazy a choice as originally thought. Maybe he thought he could dull her family's influence with distance or maybe he felt his son was better off far away. Who knows? But I'm pretty sure he's falling apart in some way right now.

[Arwen Evenstar]

I would really love to know A SINGLE THING they have done to help the local community during their leghumper-funded mission. Talking to locals doesn't count, or every single person that ever traveled through South America would be considered a missionary.

Aja, you are always such a delight...if I could like all of your witty posts 1000X I would! Keep on snarking, girl!!

[Tabbygirl521]

I think Michelle is purposing to gain weight because she can't get big pregnant anymore. Poor JB can't do the hands around the wife's pregnant stomach pose anymore. I've heard that 'green shirt' is good luck for conceiving. Not going to happen Michelle. The fertility doctor you went to see couldn't even make you fertile again. I think Derick is trying to look like Jesus to fool the locals into thinking he's the second coming and his difficulties are all about not being able to do that.

This entire post has me cackling.

[Barb23]

I was rewatching the episode when Jill & Derick found out Izzy's jender. I don't know how many times they (but esp Jill) commented she couldn't believe there was a baby inside her, they were having a baby, etc. Once again, she talked like a 14 yr old who was given a surprise Xbox, not a 24 yr old having a baby. They were still playing house since they had been married for just about 5-6 months.

I've known a few girls/couples who had to "grow up fast" when a surprise baby came along. But for these two, they have never grown up. Like we have said, since Jill had plenty of practice in raising her younger siblings & seemed to like it, it's just hard to fathom they haven't figured things out yet. I would have thought Jilly would have lost some of her clinginess by now caring for Izzy but that doesn't seem to be the way. Like mother, like daughter, she just passes Izzy off to any one that will take him.

[RazzleberryPie]

The thing is, Jills baby was not a surprise baby. Even her wedding was designed around her cycle, because a honeymoon pregnancy is the absolute jackpot for these fools.

When your every move is planned to conceive, then why be surprise when you do conceive? Either Jill is an idiot, or following a script. Probably both.

I can't fathom either, why girls who have basically been homemakers and child caregivers since they could walk, have such poor domestic skills. They really are stupid or lazy. It boggles my mind when Jill couldn't follow a Nepali recipe without having Janna help her. A recipe. Ingredients from a supermarket. Kitchen a lot fancier than mine.

If she had to go and forage in Arkansas for Nepali ingredients, build a fire, forge a pot, butcher an ox, ok. Get some help. If she just wanted her sister to come help her for fun, ok. But Jill acted like she had no clue how to make rice from a box.

What exactly did these people eat for so long? Nothing but taters tot casserole and jarred pickles?

I remember making boxed brownies with my cousins when I was too little to read. The boxes have pictures. They let me measure, stir, etc, but for the most part I figured it out. I don't think this is some unique culinary genius trait. Why Jill, etc was so confused in the kitchen with boxed rice and jarred spices is beyond me.

Also - back in my Nona's day when most women sought out to be wives and mothers only, the girls education focused on learning to cook, clean, take care of babies, raise gardens, sew, all the Susue Homemaker stuff. They learned some things at school, some at home. In her generation and at her location, most girls finished school at the end of eighth grade. High school was very rare and for upper class or city girls. Most girls were needed at home and didn't leave for a few years until they were married. This time was valuable, because it gave a few years to learn hands on homemaking skills and to help raise large families. Why the Duggar girls, with very few exceptions (Jana is great with kids and sews, Jinger can cook), can't or don't do anything domestic, when their life is geared toward domesticity, is beyond my comprehension.

[BitterApple]

Jill couldn't even figure out how to cook Minute Rice. I also remember Jana had no clue how to properly hold a chef's knife and her chopping technique was completely wrong. I think 'cooking' for the Duggars consists of pulling a family sized Stouffer's entree out of the freezer and tossing it in the oven.

[Churchhoney]

 I would have thought Jilly would have lost some of her clinginess by now caring for Izzy but that doesn't seem to be the way.

 

The thing is, though, she grew up in a situation where clinginess is both a principle people are supposed to follow on moral grounds -- hanging out constantly with your spouse, always having an accountability partner at the supermarket and the like -- and a constant practice unconsciously spurred by the particular warped psychology of these parents, who are such massive fearful nasty control freaks that they can't let anyone out of their sight. And it appears as if it's probably something congenial to her own particular nature, too. That's a combination of factors that's going to take both awareness -- hard to come by for brainwashed, not-that-bright Jilly Muffin -- and serious effort to overcome, if she ever does overcome it. It wouldn't be a quick fix. Add to that, of course, the fact that she's now in a foreign country where she doesn't speak the language, and unaccompanied by any of the people she's used to, except for Derick. Really, anybody is a bit insecure in that situation. So we can add that as an extra spur to be clingy. .... She's going to be clinging for a long time.

Edited February 16, 2016 by Churchhoney

[RazzleberryPie]

Isn't Jill supposed to be 'the smart one'?

[Arwen Evenstar]

Who knows what 'stretched' means to these nutjobs. Maybe the local Pizza Hut stopped delivering to their apartment, maybe they ate a bad batch of guacamole.

They tend to take every minor event and setback in life and blow it out of proprotion. Remember TFDW's pecan story? And Terrified Maxwell's battle with Pepsi?

LOL...Confessions of a Pecan Thief! At least TFDW can write quite well compared to most Fundy English grammar and spelling missives we've had the pleasure of reading.

Haven't yet read the Maxellian version of Idolator's Intervention: Terri's Story....No doubt I will need the puke bucket nearby....

[RazzleberryPie]

David's pecan story was quite entertaining. Basically they decided to trespass on private property and steal pecans (who knows if they actually knew what they were doing or truly thought God blessed them with pecans), the owner stopped them, Priscilla thought she was being sent to the Gulag and panicked, David almost ran off and left is pregnant wife holding the bag, literally, but in the end it was spun into a sanctimonious lesson about something.

Not sure if I recall what, but it was purposed to be full of cheerful countenance in this season of life through the blessings of the Lord and fellowship and sin and brokenness. All that and a bag of pecans. The devil made them do it.

[Missy Vixen]

Derick was an accountant. Do people really want to be accountants?

Ours does. She's a CPA and is also an IRS enrolled agent. We are thankful every day that we found her. ;-) And she works hard to have her own business, which is a completely foreign concept to Triple D.

 

Speaking of Triple D, there are many people who get out of college unsure about what they'd like to do in life or if they want to follow the career path their major prepared them for. They don't run off to another country on an endless missioncation. They get an entry-level job in another field and start working their way up, or they go back to school to get into that field. Triple D seems to believe that the reality TV gravy train he married into will continue forever, despite the fact he has a wife boasting an (at best) eighth grade education who will not work outside the home and a child with many more on the way. A nine-to-five job at the Fortune 500 company he claimed was his goal was too much for him after less than a year. Jilly Muffin had better manifest a hit record, a clothing line or an accidentally leaked sex tape at some time in the future. Triple D won't be able to bring in sufficient money to support their household -- at least legally.

Edited February 16, 2016 by Missy Vixen