Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[JenCarroll]

Must wholeheartedly disagree. College can be very difficult for many students, especially those without the proper preparation. Students are often pressured by parents, friends, high school staff, even society - to go right on to college from high school, often in programs their parents think they should take. Even when they are not yet really ready for it. And many cannot keep up - so much so that most universities these days offer remedial programs that can help students to get or stay up to speed while still remaining eligible for Federal aid etc. At my school it was referred to as the College Restoration Program and I knew a good number of students who needed a year or more of it to stay in school. I knew a fair number who left school even after participating in the program, without completing a degree of any kind. When I started college in the mid 70s, the statistic was that only one in four students who began a bachelor's program actually finished it. I was so stunned to hear this figure at that time that I asked the Director of Admissions at my school if that could really be true. I had a work-study job in the Admissions Office at the time. And I was told yes, basically that was the situation. I've been out of the field for several years now, so I haven't any idea what the ratio is today. But suffice it to say that there are MANY students who find college diffcult, for many reasons. Lack of preparation, and in the case of any Duggars, lack of family support, are two of the big ones. Count me among those who think any Duggar child who wants a college education will find it tough-going. Not impossible but any stretch, but you do have to want it. And you do have to be willing to work hard in most cases.

I have to agree, having taught undergraduates for about 12 years, a lot of them are woefully unprepared. And deeply, deeply entitled. I didn't think the material was hard, mostly freshman level courses in legal studies and in comp. sci. for business students (that's usually beginning programming and advanced applications like spreadsheets and databases). And the majority of the students did fine, but some... my god, you'd have thought they came straight from elementary school. I feel like Jill would fit right into that group.

Off topic but on the relative preparedness of undergrads: Once I gave an exam question to write the code that would print out the name of the President of the United States. Twelve students raised their hands to inform me that they didn't know his name (Clinton) and that it wasn't fair to ask -- it hadn't been in the coursework. (!) Every single one of these was American born. The following term I substituted "the professor of this class" and they did much, much worse. Eventually we settled on "your name" and that seemed to be within their grasp. :-)

[Wellfleet]

I have to agree, having taught undergraduates for about 12 years, a lot of them are woefully unprepared. And deeply, deeply entitled. I didn't think the material was hard, mostly freshman level courses in legal studies and in comp. sci. for business students (that's usually beginning programming and advanced applications like spreadsheets and databases). And the majority of the students did fine, but some... my god, you'd have thought they came straight from elementary school. I feel like Jill would fit right into that group.

Off topic but on the relative preparedness of undergrads: Once I gave an exam question to write the code that would print out the name of the President of the United States. Twelve students raised their hands to inform me that they didn't know his name (Clinton) and that it wasn't fair to ask -- it hadn't been in the coursework. (!) Every single one of these was American born. The following term I substituted "the professor of this class" and they did much, much worse. Eventually we settled on "your name" and that seemed to be within their grasp. :-)

 

OMG, that's truly sad. I think that would have changed my teaching methods a bit too. On the first day of the next class I taught, I'd make it very clear that there will be questions on my exams that may not have been covered in the coursework. And they should be ready for that. No whining about it. Because kids, it's just possible that you may get one or two problems in your future careers, maybe even in Life itself, for which you are not prepared. Start getting used to the feeling - now. 

Edited June 15, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Missy Vixen]

Nepal represented a time in his life where he probably felt more carefree and happy. Not that he was unhappy but there's a lot of drama going on in the Duggar/Dillard households going on right now. It's possible Derick sees Nepal (or anyplace where they can do mission work) as a welcome distraction for them to get away and maybe, just maybe, start creating an independent life for themselves. 

Of course, let's bear in mind that we know nothing about this young man besides what's been on TV and what they choose to reveal (Cat Gate, anyone?). One has to wonder if derickdillard is smart enough to realize that maybe, just maybe, he brought some of the last year's drama on himself. One also has to wonder if he had the slightest idea what he was marrying into, or was he convinced it would be $40K a week TLC checks and TTC forever and ever?

 

The first year of marriage is rough for most. The adjustments to living with another adult are legion, even if you love each other, even if you're determined to make it work. derickdillard met (allegedly), courted and married his wife in less than a year. They were never alone until their wedding night. I'm also guessing that they never had a disagreement until after they were married, and it may not have happened yet. His wife was pregnant with their first child two weeks after the wedding. The pregnancy was not perfect and the birth was even worse. While they were attempting to adjust to married life, they became parents, dealt with her overbearing and dictatorial family and his mother's serious illness. In the meantime, his wife is on the cover of People every week and seems to believe that he should have to be with her 24 hours a day. If all that wasn't enough, he discovered his wife's family has been harboring a secret that made all of the above look like a walk in the park, and has generated international headlines for more than a month. Does he get that some of this stuff might have been avoided if they would have had a longer courtship or any chance at all to actually get to know each other before they got married and became parents?

 

There is no way to prepare for many of the things life throws at any of us, but it seems to me that these two had no idea anything might go wrong. Ever. I'm also betting they don't know each other. Still. Running away to a devastated developing nation as a way to get out of dealing with the problems here is (IMHO) a Band Aid. Maybe it would be better to spend the hours of talking and alone time it will take to get to "we" instead of "you, me and your parents" somewhere you're not dealing with destruction and tragedy on a daily basis. It might also be good to make sure your employer offers great group health insurance when you're probably welcoming the second Dillard baby shortly after New Year's 2016.

[Missy Vixen]

 it's just possible that you may get one or two problems in your future careers, maybe even in Life itself, for which you are not prepared. Start getting used to the feeling - now. 

I don't know how you and JenCarroll deal with this stuff. Seriously. IMHO, of course, but how does anyone live in the United States and not know who the President is? And WORD to your comment about "things may happen that you are not prepared for". It's part of being an adult.

 

Then again, we recently saw an adult woman who can't figure out how to make three servings of Minute Rice, despite the fact directions for two or four servings were printed on the side of the box...

[Absolom]

She didn't possess the logic either to realize that she should make the same servings of rice as of lentils.  In this case it was four servings - an option on the rice box. ;)

[kokapetl]

To me, the fact that Jill seems to have absorbed more of the Gothard ideology than her siblings indicates she has a greater ability to learn than them. Her ignorance isn't due to her being stupid, it's that the empty vessel in her case wasn't filled with knowledge, but idiotic bullshit, and her cloistered life in the Duggar fortress intentionally prevented exposure to anything else but the party line.

As for her sort of arranged marriage, something seems a little off with Derrick. A recent episode had the two of them eating brunch by themselves at home. They were sitting side by side eating waffles, he offered her more strawberries in a really stilted and formal way, something along the lines "would you like more strawberries for you waffles honey" and Jill replied with something like "yes I would thank you". I would have thought that 8 months pregnant wife and her husband would be able to be more relaxed and informal with each other. To him I think she's almost like an off the rack spouse that came with a guarantee to bear kids ASAP. The Jana model doesn't come with that particular warranty.

[Marigny]

They are playing house, plain and simple. Though this past month has given them a taste, life hasn't yet given them the full smack in the face. Wait until there are 4+ people living on one income, no TLC check and they've gotta figure out how to keep the lights on and put food on the table. 

[GEML]

I have to say, I've faced some pretty serious challenges in my life. But I wouldn't want the "blessings" in Jill or Derick's lives. Because they all come with very tight strings. But that's me.

[NikSac]

She didn't possess the logic either to realize that she should make the same servings of rice as of lentils.  In this case it was four servings - an option on the rice box. ;)

 

Or seriously, even if they only needed 3 servings, they couldn't figure out that they could just save the extra rice for leftovers? It reminds me of the "The Duggars eat 15 pizzas in one sitting" popup. "The Duggars can't figure out how to make less than 21 servings of rice!"  They can't possibly be that clueless, can they?

[JoanArc]

I didn't see the episode, but Jill was bested by a box of minute rice, and she wanted to deliver babies? Bullet dodged.

 

I will stick up for her, and all the other kids. She's got perfectly normal intelligence, just no access to real education. Ten or fifteen years with a private tutor would fix that, but I doubt Derrick wants to drop coin on getting a wife that thinks for herself.

[Julia]

Or seriously, even if they only needed 3 servings, they couldn't figure out that they could just save the extra rice for leftovers? It reminds me of the "The Duggars eat 15 pizzas in one sitting" popup. "The Duggars can't figure out how to make less than 21 servings of rice!"  They can't possibly be that clueless, can they?

 

It's kind of a reality tv newlywed classic, though, isn't it? Jessica Simpson needed her husband to explain canned tuna to her. I guess they figure it's easier not to resent celebrities if you can feel a little superior to them.

[NikSac]

It's kind of a reality tv newlywed classic, though, isn't it? Jessica Simpson needed her husband to explain canned tuna to her. I guess they figure it's easier not to resent celebrities if you can feel a little superior to them.

 

That's a good point.  "Is this chicken that I have, or is this fish?"  (Jessica Simpson) is kind of a classic. I guess I feel like they've all been raising kids so long you'd think they would've caught on to stuff like portion sizes somewhere along the line.

[JenCarroll]

Ow, thanks guys, I had actually managed to block out the memory of the great Chicken of the Sea Mystery.

[Churchhoney]

It's kind of a reality tv newlywed classic, though, isn't it? Jessica Simpson needed her husband to explain canned tuna to her. I guess they figure it's easier not to resent celebrities if you can feel a little superior to them.

 

And then the next week, Nick brought home Bumble Bee tuna.

[Wellfleet]

She didn't possess the logic either to realize that she should make the same servings of rice as of lentils.  In this case it was four servings - an option on the rice box. ;)

 

Or how about this, Jill? Make some extra - make more than you actually need. Take it from me. It's nice to come home from a busy day at work - or in your case, out - and find the fixings for a hot home-cooked meal among the various leftover containers in your fridge. Not to mention a fun way to learn to be a creative cook too. 

[Missy Vixen]

That's a good point.  "Is this chicken that I have, or is this fish?"  (Jessica Simpson) is kind of a classic. I guess I feel like they've all been raising kids so long you'd think they would've caught on to stuff like portion sizes somewhere along the line.

IIRC, Jessica Simpson didn't have much formal education, either. She started performing at a very young age. Luckily for her, she has one hell of a backup in accessories.

 

One has to wonder exactly what the MOTY actually taught those kids, besides an obsession with "defrauding" and bankruptcy law.

[GEML]

To obey and love her and Jim Bob, with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.

[BuddyMom]

Nick and Jessica seemed like they were having fun and were both gorgeous to look at.

Derick and Jill, not so much.

I'm really not seeing the appeal of a show with just them.

[Missy Vixen]

To obey and love her and Jim Bob, with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.

My parents were gone by the time I met and married my husband. I can't imagine being (still) so tied to the apron strings that my parents would still be controlling everything I did as a married woman and as a parent.

 

I can't imagine what will happen to these kids if and when their parents aren't around to dictate every moment of their lives anymore.

[JoanArc]

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/jill-duggar-shares-picture-of-baby-israels-first-bible-study-session-2015166

 

Jill must be one of the few married women that loves her husband being (maybe) unemployed.

[bluebonnet]

I don't see anything in that article or the instagram post (which looks like it was a photo taken late in the evening) about Jill's opinion on her family's employment status.  

[Missy Vixen]

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/jill-duggar-shares-picture-of-baby-israels-first-bible-study-session-2015166

 

Jill must be one of the few married women that loves her husband being (maybe) unemployed.

Maybe Jilly Muffin needs to spend more time enjoying her family privately and less time releasing what amounts to a private family moment to the press.

[Absolom]

The "press" whose writer doesn't know the difference in a onesie and a sleeper. ;)

[Lemur]

I ... ahhh .. yeah, I couldn't tell you the difference either.  

[Absolom]

Onesies don't have legs much less feet on them.  :)  They're like a shirt that snaps at the bottom of the diaper. 

[Lemur]

See, diapers.  I don't do diapers. Gotcha.  

[Joe Jitsu913]

Maybe Jilly Muffin needs to spend more time enjoying her family privately and less time releasing what amounts to a private family moment to the press.

Omg....I saw that picture and thought who is that homeless looking bum holding a baby? That can't be Derrick?

[JenCarroll]

Or how about this, Jill? Make some extra - make more than you actually need. Take it from me. It's nice to come home from a busy day at work - or in your case, out - and find the fixings for a hot home-cooked meal among the various leftover containers in your fridge. Not to mention a fun way to learn to be a creative cook too.

I get the feeling that extra food was not really a thing in the TTH.

[Ilovemylabs]

What a sweet picture of Dad and son!  Precious moments.

[Lemur]

I get the feeling that extra food was not really a thing in the TTH.

 

Could be that if it existed, she had to spirit away and eat it in the bathroom.  

[poopchute]

Wow, I had the opposite reaction. Derrick looks like a disgusting serial killer in that picture. Does he bathe?

[kokapetl]

Wow, I had the opposite reaction. Derrick looks like a disgusting serial killer in that picture. Does he bathe?

The angle is good though, I'm not drawn to any assymetry in his countenance.

[frenchtoast]

Wow, I had the opposite reaction. Derrick looks like a disgusting serial killer in that picture. Does he bathe?

Ted Bundy was a serial killer and he was very handsome. There are comparisons I don't feel comfortable making, and serial killer based on looks is one of them. I think he looks like a dad reading to his baby. I may not like the scruff, but it's not something I associate with serial killers.

[yogi2014L]

He looks like he is trying to turn into white Jesus himself. 

 

NOT A GOOD LOOK DERICK

[kokapetl]

He looks like he is trying to turn into white Jesus himself.

NOT A GOOD LOOK DERICK

In that photo he looks more like brown Jesus. Edited June 16, 2015 by Kokapetl

[Sew Sumi]

I wonder if they have any books that aren't biblical in nature? My guess? No.

[Wellfleet]

It's kind of a reality tv newlywed classic, though, isn't it? Jessica Simpson needed her husband to explain canned tuna to her. I guess they figure it's easier not to resent celebrities if you can feel a little superior to them.

 

I could absolutely see a network trying to employ this kind of logic, but it wouldn't work for me. I like or at least can tolerate wealthy, entitled celebrities much more when they appear intelligent, well-spoken, aware of the greater world around them. At least then you can think they did something well enough to deserve success and money. It's the stupid, untalented and/or self-centered ones that are difficult to like.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Wellfleet]

I get the feeling that extra food was not really a thing in the TTH.

 

True enough in the early years, for sure. But in the TTH? In the last 10 years? "Making enough" surely must have been covered. Even if all it meant was to follow the box's directions - for the entire package. I'm beginning to think Jill's "Oh dear, how do I make just 3 servings?" was contrived blather for the cameras. Instead of showing her to be competent enough to put a meal together herself - if she is that is - the geniuses at TLC thought making her bumble around needing her sister's help was better. Honestly, TLC is raising "feeble" to new heights every day.

In that photo he looks more like brown Jesus.

 

I was getting a Cat Stevens-Kenny Loggins-Dan Fogelberg-in-the-70s kind of vibe from this particular shot myself.

[bluebonnet]

I'm positive Jill's dinner making was staged and edited.  But I do have to say that I get the issue of having a hard time going from cooking for a lot of people to cooking for just one or two.  I don't think I ever looked at a written recipe until I was well into adulthood. Growing up, cooking was all done completely by sight, with measurements described as "a little of this, this ingredient to the black line, a dab of that".  It's been 10+ years since I've had to start cooking for myself and sometimes I still struggle to follow a written recipe or make the correct serving amount.  It's just not how I learned.  I feel that I'm reasonably well educated and at least moderately intelligent.  So I do get the struggles Jill would have.  Though, yes, it was almost certainly all staged.  

[GEML]

Biblical book or not, that's one whole book more than Jim Bob has been photographed reading his children. I notice at "Bible time" the actual book might be waved around, but it's not open and read from.

[Quilt Fairy]

Maybe Jilly Muffin needs to spend more time enjoying her family privately and less time releasing what amounts to a private family moment to the press.

Eh, she and Jessa are on the front cover of the latest People magazine ("Jill and Jessa - How are they coping?"), so I think - whether she acknowledges or even realizes it herself - she's committed to being a celebrity. Of sorts. No moment is so private that it can't be turned into good publicity.

Edited June 16, 2015 by Quilt Fairy

[kalamac]

I'm positive Jill's dinner making was staged and edited.  But I do have to say that I get the issue of having a hard time going from cooking for a lot of people to cooking for just one or two.  I don't think I ever looked at a written recipe until I was well into adulthood. Growing up, cooking was all done completely by sight, with measurements described as "a little of this, this ingredient to the black line, a dab of that".  It's been 10+ years since I've had to start cooking for myself and sometimes I still struggle to follow a written recipe or make the correct serving amount.  It's just not how I learned.  I feel that I'm reasonably well educated and at least moderately intelligent.  So I do get the struggles Jill would have.  Though, yes, it was almost certainly all staged.

I grew up in a family of six, and like all my siblings had the responsibility of cooking one night a week from the time I was 13 (even the boys did that). I still use a lot of those recipes without cutting them down, and have 1 meal, leftovers the next night, and freeze the rest for when I don't feel like cooking.

[bluebonnet]

Not sure if I should put this in the media thread, but since there was a conversation here about Derrick's appearance, I figured this might be ok.  

 

sheknows.com posted an article reporting on the comments on Jill's instagram account with the latest photo of Derrick and Isreal.  Lots and lots of them remarking on Derick's scruffy look.  

 

I have to admit, it's great to be seeing some equality in criticism for they way people look.  I nearly blew a brain gasket when there was all this scrutinizing over Megyn Kelly's nose and Michelle's spray tan while ignoring how weird Jim Bob looks always.  I don't really have an opinion one way or another on the scruffy look, or really any look.  I'm boring that way.  

[Missy Vixen]

Eh, she and Jessa are on the front cover of the latest People magazine ("Jill and Jessa - How are they coping?"), so I think - whether she acknowledges or even realizes it herself - she's committed to being a celebrity. Of sorts. No moment is so private that it can't be turned into good publicity.

In other words, TLC's publicist thinks enough time has passed and it's time for more publicity!

 

Shall we start a pool on when the first 19KAC reruns hit the late night TLC schedule?

[kokapetl]

Not sure if I should put this in the media thread, but since there was a conversation here about Derrick's appearance, I figured this might be ok.

sheknows.com posted an article reporting on the comments on Jill's instagram account with the latest photo of Derrick and Isreal. Lots and lots of them remarking on Derick's scruffy look.

I have to admit, it's great to be seeing some equality in criticism for they way people look. I nearly blew a brain gasket when there was all this scrutinizing over Megyn Kelly's nose and Michelle's spray tan while ignoring how weird Jim Bob looks always. I don't really have an opinion one way or another on the scruffy look, or really any look. I'm boring that way.

When Rupert hires only bleach blondes in bodycon dresses as talking heads, it just seems sloppy for his minions to not use a fill light or something to hide the dent and the shadow.

[Vaysh]

Lots and lots of them remarking on Derick's scruffy look.

 

I hadn't actually seen this picture before now, I've just read the comments, and I honestly don't get the criticism. He doesn't look scruffy to me, he actually looks a lot less scruffy than he has since... ever. Beard's grown out a bit and isn't looking as patchy as it used to; hair's grown out too from that horrid Jim Bob wannabe helmet, and it's shiny and nice. His clothes are good. He could use a few extra pounds on him but I think he's looking more attractive in this picture than I've ever seen him before. I'm getting a sort of Christian hipster vibe.

[Happyfatchick]

I'm not hating the "look" at all on DD. Maybe because it's so far left of the cardboard cutouts that are Duggar. I want to see where he goes with it, but to me it may be a conscious decision to not look like "the clan." I don't know why, but I've always thought of Jill as - you know - nunnish. Goody two shoes. (JMO, I know!!!). But part of me just almost cracks up thinking about him opening his arms to Jill and she looking at him saying.... "Ewwwwwww!!!!" I am liking it more and more (the look) thinking that maybe it's a little sidestep from the Duggar Marching Band. Go Big D!!!! (Or maybe she IS repulsed by it and that's their current means of "limiting the blessings". Jk of course.

[cereality]

Well he's between jobs -- even if he's starting a new one in a week or two, lots of men use vacation/down time to grow a beard or to grow it out. And before he met Jill, he wore his hair natural, falling on his forehead like that. It was Jill who told him she liked it styled up that caused him to start gelling it -- they showed him when he was walking out the door to propose and he was saying that he wanted to get his hair how Jill likes it but doesn't have gel. So now that he isn't working -- he's probably taking a break from hair style and beard trimming since he has no place to go.

[roamyn]

She said she liked him more "scruffy" than clean shaven.

[BitterApple]

Whatever surgery Derick had isn't doing him any favors, he looks weird now.