Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Zella]

1 minute ago, Suzn said:

Exactly.  It's actually misinforming the kids, who are going to hear references to dates and be really confused.

Lordy, I'm now thinking about the derpy asshole who invited me on a date for ice cream when I was in college. I told him I didn't eat food and ran away. Just an incredibly awkward exchange all around, but I'm laughing my head off at how much worse it would have been if either of us had gone to The Dillard School of Dating and was expecting something else. 

[GeeGolly]

Pee-pee holder, privates, down there, etc, as long as they're not calling an elbow, folks will figure out what they mean.

As far as calling sex "dates", wasn't that in the car during the 'progressive date'? I didn't get the impression they were using that word to teach the kids anything, I thought they were saying date, because the kids were in the backseat. 

Edited February 23, 2021 by GeeGolly

[QuinnInND]

8 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

I believe at least one of the kids called it a "pee-pee holder." Not cutesy, but... kind of weird.

ETA: emmawoodhouse beat me to it!

That's the oddest thing I've heard recently. Weird indeed. 

[Suzn]

Just now, GeeGolly said:

Pee-pee holder, privates, down there, etc, as long as they're not calling an elbow, folks will figure out what they mean.

As far as calling sex "dates", wasn't that in the car during the 'progressive date'? I didn't get the impression they were using that word to teach the kids anything, I thought they were saying date, because the kids were in the backseat. 

“We had a date and then you started growing inside of mommy’s tummy,” the law school student said.

Well, yes, they called the event in the car a date, but then there is the quote above.

[Zella]

10 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Pee-pee holder, privates, down there, etc, as long as they're not calling an elbow, folks will figure out what they mean.

As far as calling sex "dates", wasn't that in the car during the 'progressive date'? I didn't get the impression they were using that word to teach the kids anything, I thought they were saying date, because the kids were in the backseat. 

According to Reddit, Derick was bragging in the car date video about how they had "4 dates in one night," so my impression is they do use it as a literal euphemism for sex around their kids. 

[Tikichick]

2 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

How Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard Plan to Talk to 2 Sons About Sex, Courtships and More

I am encouraged by the idea that Jill and Derick disagreed about how to handle this with the boys, so they both reached out for resources such as books to learn a bit more in order to come up with a plan.   It sounds like they are functioning like a partnership, not a headship with Jill just being told how things are going to be.   

His comments about what it means to respect parents, parental authority -- and how that may be tied to income and compensation are illuminating.   Can't say I disagree with his comments in this regard.

As more time goes by and different information and comments are made it seems kind of clear to me that Jill and Derick struggled to come to a meeting of the minds about their expectations of their marriage and relationship.   I'm not sure Derick understood that Jill came into marriage expecting to model what JB & M told the kids their marriage was, which they no doubt told the kids is how all successful and godly marriages work.   I think Derick might have been unprepared for Jill's lack of independent thought and opinions and was probably thrown when he was either confronted with either nothing responsive from her, or simply something parroted back what was either what she assumed she understood from her parents or whatever opinion they may have supplied her if she solicited any advice, or perhaps even them sticking their oar in even if she didn't ask.  

I may not agree with Derick's views on many things, but it does seem he is open to a wider variety of ideas and taking into account the fact that there are times Jill's viewpoints are different and looking for a mutual way they can bridge the gaps.   The idea that she has a voice and he's prepared to both listen and work with her to a mutual agreement isn't nothing.   I don't think Jinger or Jessa can say the same.   It seems Jinger doesn't have much more agency than Felicity does, or show much sign of wanting any.   Jessa and Ben seem to be either continuously butting heads or looking for ways to carve out individual kingdoms for themselves in a very small nation state.       

[rue721]

The weirdest thing is that this couple didn’t actually date and I think didn’t even believe in dating. 
 

What do they think dating IS?! 

[Oldernowiser]

3 hours ago, Suzn said:

We did have four dates in one day, I think, that one time.”

Maybe you did, dude, but I’m guessing Jill didn’t.

[louannems]

1 hour ago, BigBingerBro said:

If you read the police reports from the molestation scandal, when the kids were interviewed individually, they were asked to name different body parts.  They mostly used the word "privates" for the naughty parts.  No cutesy names came up.

Joy said her pee-pee holder was touched.  I definitely remember that.

[QuinnInND]

2 hours ago, rue721 said:

The weirdest thing is that this couple didn’t actually date and I think didn’t even believe in dating. 
 

What do they think dating IS?! 

Fucking like rabbits, of course. 😂

[iwantcookies]

They should use lotion instead of sex. 
 

Date is date not having sex.

Hey kids mommy needs some lotion time with daddy wink wink.

[iwantcookies]

2 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Fucking like rabbits, of course. 😂

Probably lasts 10 seconds just like rabbits.

[GeeGolly]

What's in the article seems to be from Jill's and Derick's Q & A video they did a few weeks ago. In that video they said they agreed with, and were appreciative of, their courtship rules and guidance. I believe Derick said the only thing he would change is the name - he would call it dating, and they would've held hands, because they were already in their 20s. They said they'd likely offer the same guidance to their boys, depending on their ages. I believe Derick said something like, if they were older and living on their own, then the dating guidance might be different. From what was in the video, Jill was the same Jill she's always been - doing most of the talking, and most of what they agreed on is what Jill grew up with. 

[iwantcookies]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jill-duggar-opens-up-about-drama-with-her-extended-family/amp/

[GeeGolly]

The article makes it seem that leaving the show was a done deal from the time they made the decision, yet Jill continued to film solo after Derick refused. It wasn't until sometime later, likely after the payout, that Jill was no longer on the show. It seems Jill was put in a position of choosing her family or choosing her husband. What an awful place to have to be. I'm glad she seems to be mostly at peace with this, but I guessing there are times where its still very, very hard for her.

[MargeGunderson]

I wonder about the motivation of Jill to stay on social media and continue to give interviews, etc. leaving the show would have been a perfect time to transition from being a minor celebrity to just a regular person. What do they get out of putting their life out there for others to consume, now that they are not on the show? 

[iwantcookies]

3 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I wonder about the motivation of Jill to stay on social media and continue to give interviews, etc. leaving the show would have been a perfect time to transition from being a minor celebrity to just a regular person. What do they get out of putting their life out there for others to consume, now that they are not on the show? 

$$$ from social media. 

[crazy8s]

$$$ and the "happy mail" that her fans/followers send to their P.O. Box

[MargeGunderson]

I’m sure that you are right, @iwantcookies and @crazy8s, but I don’t get it. I doubt they are making big bucks from it. How is giving up your privacy worth it? (I’m in a mood this morning!)

[Tikichick]

1 minute ago, MargeGunderson said:

I’m sure that you are right, @iwantcookies and @crazy8s, but I don’t get it. I doubt they are making big bucks from it. How is giving up your privacy worth it? (I’m in a mood this morning!)

Maybe you're a bit like me, the idea of fame seems like misery.   I would however love the opportunity to take a crack at being ridiculously, stupidly wealthy, just filthy rich.

I wonder if some piece of Jill sees her SM engagement as at all missionary, or even some type of helpful support she's offering people?  She grew up with the idea that the TV show and the speaking, performing, etc. her family did was an attempt to reach out as missionaries.   

[GeeGolly]

8 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I wonder about the motivation of Jill to stay on social media and continue to give interviews, etc. leaving the show would have been a perfect time to transition from being a minor celebrity to just a regular person. What do they get out of putting their life out there for others to consume, now that they are not on the show? 

5 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

$$$ from social media. 

2 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

$$$ and the "happy mail" that her fans/followers send to their P.O. Box

In addition to money and staying relevant, I think the self-done Q & As are reputation repair for Derick, as well as showing a united front to JB & M.

Fame and SM complicate the healthiest relationships, never mind what they do to unhealthy ones. To quote Cousin Amy, "everyone has an opinion" and it seems Derick has a very hard time with negative press.

IMO, the Dillard's Q & A is the equivalent of a celebrity making the talk show rounds, trying to fix whatever they broke.

Also, Derick has stated more than once he would gladly return to TV, under the right circumstances, so there's that.

 

 

[Suzn]

14 hours ago, Zella said:

According to Reddit, Derick was bragging in the car date video about how they had "4 dates in one night," so my impression is they do use it as a literal euphemism for sex around their kids. 

This is exactly what makes their sex talk so cringey!  Not only does that give too much personal detail, but he's so ignorant that he thinks this is some major accomplishment.

[lascuba]

The way Jill and Derick talk about sex reminds me of how young people who are very sexually inexperienced but want to sound sexual and edgy talk.

[GeeGolly]

Just now, lascuba said:

The way Jill and Derick talk about sex reminds me of how young people who are very sexually inexperienced but want to sound sexual and edgy talk.

For me, Jill and Derick actually talk publicly about sex in a way I don't recognize. Even if they were talking among friends, it still seems a little out there. The way I see it, its good to have a healthy attitude around sex and sexual experiences without making the subject taboo, but what one does (and how many time one does it) in the bedroom is still private and intimate.  Like maybe talk about how fun a progressive date, ending in sex, would be, but don't bring us on your date. (and don't bring the kids either)

The Duggars' preoccupation with sex was very evident in their shows. It seems to me, Jill & Derick are, once again, doing it the Duggar way (maybe on steroids).

[lascuba]

Just now, GeeGolly said:

For me, Jill and Derick actually talk publicly about sex in a way I don't recognize. Even if they were talking among friends, it still seems a little out there. The way I see it, its good to have a healthy attitude around sex and sexual experiences without making the subject taboo, but what one does (and how many time one does it) in the bedroom is still private and intimate.  Like maybe talk about how fun a progressive date, ending in sex, would be, but don't bring us on your date. (and don't bring the kids either)

The Duggars' preoccupation with sex was very evident in their shows. It seems to me, Jill & Derick are, once again, doing it the Duggar way (maybe on steroids).

Yes, going with the theme that they both still mostly agree with how the Duggars controlled their courtship, it seems that they're trying to be an example that waiting for a godly marriage guarantees the best sex.

[Growsonwalls]

I think the fact that they're using birth control now might be triggering the sexcapades talk. For the rest of the Duggars sex always carries the risk of pregnancy. I don't know if Kendra or Anna or Joy can ever have sex without thinking "another bun?" 

Jill and Derick seem like kids who found out "wait so we can have sex whenever we want with no worries about another baby?"

[QuinnInND]

31 minutes ago, Growsonwalls said:

I think the fact that they're using birth control now might be triggering the sexcapades talk. For the rest of the Duggars sex always carries the risk of pregnancy. I don't know if Kendra or Anna or Joy can ever have sex without thinking "another bun?" 

Jill and Derick seem like kids who found out "wait so we can have sex whenever we want with no worries about another baby?"

I think Kendra, Anna and Joy hope fervently every time they have sex that it will result in a pregnancy. And the more they have sex the better their chances. 

[Growsonwalls]

Reddit picked this up: 

Derick has gone on a comment liking spree.

 

[Growsonwalls]

They got a dog:

 

[iwantcookies]

I hope the dog gets to live indoors.

[BetyBee]

She's a really cute dog and the boys seem to be at good ages for a dog. I hope it all works out well. The boys were very sweet and gentle with the dogs and the cats. Fingers crossed!

[BitterApple]

The dog looks like such a sweetheart.

I pray they take good care of it and it doesn't go the way of all the other Duggar pets. 

[Growsonwalls]

50 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

She's a really cute dog and the boys seem to be at good ages for a dog. I hope it all works out well. The boys were very sweet and gentle with the dogs and the cats. Fingers crossed!

Think Izzy is a good fit for a pet. He seems very serious and responsible.

[leighdear]

Poor animal. 

[crazy8s]

2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

The dog looks like such a sweetheart.

I pray they take good care of it and it doesn't go the way of all the other Duggar pets. 

well it is already ahead of other duggar pets just by having a fenced in yard and no sledding hill to aim sleds at said pet.

 

[Westiepeach]

Yeah, but wasn’t Derick one of the ones that was aiming for the poor kitty while he was sliding down the hill?

[crazy8s]

2 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

Yeah, but wasn’t Derick one of the ones that was aiming for the poor kitty while he was sliding down the hill?

oh yeah - that was my point on that one. safe in a yard and safe from derick and sleds

[Westiepeach]

Ah, ok.got it. Missed your point. 

[crazy8s]

2 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

Ah, ok.got it. Missed your point. 

oh no worries - I didn't state it well - not a point I guess, but more implied since we have talked about the Derick sledding cat incident so many times here😀

Edited February 25, 2021 by crazy8s

[leighdear]

A dog, what a wonderful idea!!!  1 toddler at home, 1 at school.  Deartick earnestly studying to finish law school, then cram for the bar exam, while that cute puppy is frolicking in the small, fenced backyard with their 2 little kids.  Yep, definitely the calm, quiet and serene environment every serious law student could ask for. 

I'm certain Deartick will be absolutely patient, compassionate and loving to that little pup.   Sure. 

And of course a 5 year-old and a 3 year-old can handle obedience training.  Piece of cake.  

Edited February 25, 2021 by leighdear

[GeeGolly]

3 hours ago, Growsonwalls said:

Think Izzy is a good fit for a pet. He seems very serious and responsible.

Isn't Izzy only 5 years old?

[Growsonwalls]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Isn't Izzy only 5 years old?

Yeah but children learn frpm a young age how to treat pets. The Duggars were never taught and that's why they make poor pet owners. 

[emmawoodhouse]

Well, maybe Derelict had dogs, and he can teach everyone.

[DangerousMinds]

We got my childhood family dog when I was 6 and my brother was 4. 

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

We got my childhood family dog when I was 6 and my brother was 4. 

We had pets from before I was born and all through my childhood. We also had a dog from when my kids were young. But my mother, when I was a kid, and my husband and I, when I was an adulthood did the lion's share of caring for pets. I don't think a 5 year old, no matter how serious, is ready to be responsible for a pet.

I hope I'm wrong, but after seeing Carlin get a dog, I hope Jill didn't get one to increase her SM traffic.

And I don't want to think about all the other Duggar pets that seem to just disappear.

[awaken]

1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Well, maybe Derelict had dogs, and he can teach everyone.

I’m sure Jill was shown a dog once so can teach everyone. 
 

and I bet this is to fulfill her baby itch instead of having a human one. It’s got to be tough to have “only” 2 kids when she’s used to frequent pregnancy announcements and new babies to look forward to. 

[MzTori77]

4 hours ago, leighdear said:

Poor animal. 

I can’t believe she was better off in a cage than with the Dillards.  If I’m the dog, I’m taking the chance. At worst, she’ll have a dog house and a big back yard. 

[emmawoodhouse]

Reading in one of my fundie FB groups, I found out that the dog is mixed with a breed that I've never heard of. Said breed needs a lot of training to be good with kids, or it will basically bounce off the walls. Hopefully, this dog doesn't express the traits of that breed, otherwise I could see it going back to the shelter. 😥

Edited February 25, 2021 by emmawoodhouse

[Zella]

7 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Reading in one of my fundie FB groups, the dog is mixed with a breed that I've never heard of. Said breed needs a lot of training to be good with kids, or it will basically bounce off the walls. Hopefully, this dog doesn't express the traits of that breed, otherwise I could see it going back to the shelter. 😥

I'd be curious to know what kind of dog it is. (I've not seen pictures and don't want to sit through the video.) I know more experienced pet owners who have struggled with high-energy dogs, so not sure if that would be optimal for this crowd. I'm assuming most of the dog care chores are going to fall on Jill rather than Derick or the kids, but I'm not sure how much she actually knows about pets, courtesy of the Duggar upbringing. 

[emmawoodhouse]

The breed is Belgian Maliniois (hope I got the spelling right).