Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Fuzzysox]

Ok I'm sick of the silence about any little detail about the Binessa wedding trainwreck. Why aren't they sharing?

[GEML]

I know someone on another thread mentioned food allergies as a possible cause of Jessa's acne, but I'm wondering if maybe she could also be allergic to something in one of the skin care products she uses. Things like parabens, sulfates, mineral oil and dyes can wreak havoc on sensitive skin. Jessa might want to try using natural oils for cleansing and moisturizing.

I thought the same thing. Just as she started using heavy make up, she started breaking out.

[Dejana]

Several boys in the family seem to suffer from acne as well, but makeup probably doesn't help.

Was the wedding definitely set for Saturday? Very odd to hear so little about it so close to the big day. Since they were still advertising the proposal episode on Tuesday, a postponement seems unlikely. Maybe Jessa really is going to elope!

[Sew Sumi]

I hope Jessa just has a small wedding in the backyard with close friends and family.  Nothing wrong with that.  Then have a nice little barbecue (I'm from Texas), and a lovely cake and some flowers.  No fuss, no muss. November offers great opportunities for fall leaves and gourds decorations.  Lanterns and lights strung from trees could be cute.  Why does it have to be for a thousand people?

I'm tellin' ya! He and Jackson are two peas in a pod!

She announced that she has ten bridesmaids, so I think any thoughts of an "intimate backyard wedding" should be tossed out the window. Their invitation is all over the interwebs; they're getting married in a church. Not quite the 3500 seat mega-church that Jill had, but a more intimate (about 1000 seat) venue. Don't forget, she sent out 800 invitations. With kids, she could rival Jill's numbers if she has a better percentage of people showing up.

[Adeejay]

Ok I'm sick of the silence about any little detail about the Binessa wedding trainwreck. Why aren't they sharing?

After her controversial tweet equating abortion with the holocaust, Jessa seems to be keeping a very low profile.

[Darknight]

Maybe she wants to keep it private

[Zanzibar]

The wedding invitation was posted on the Pickles and Ice Cream page on Facebook.  The wedding is this Saturday, in Bentonville, Arkansas.  I even went so far as to look up the church online, and there is a private wedding listed there for this Saturday.  Wedding set-up at the church was scheduled for today, and the rehearsal/dinner is there Friday.

[CarolMK]

Unfortunately for Jessa, she can't keep her wedding private. The Duggar parents allow filming of practically every aspect of their lives,and all courtships, weddings and new babies being born are huge ratings for the show. Jill's weddding was TLC's highest rated show in the last 4 years for the network. Having the option of keeping a wedding private won't be possible for any of the older kids, say from Joy on up, unless they decide to wait maybe another 10 years when interest in the show finally wantes and prompts cancellation. Even though when the boys marry, it might not be a huge big deal like Jill's wedding was, I'm sure it will warrant a very special episode no matter who it is

[GEML]

Considering that we go right from Jill's wedding to Jessa's engagement, I don't think much will be very private.

[Sew Sumi]

After her controversial tweet equating abortion with the holocaust, Jessa seems to be keeping a very low profile.

I'm sure Boob/agents/TLC put the kibosh on Benessa's social media until they get the wedding in the can, maybe even a little later. You know, distance makes the heart grow fonder....I think their hope is that people will forget all that nastiness.

 

They should have just stuck to selfies. Narcissistic? Sure. But comparatively benign.

[BitterApple]

I think Bin has a bunch of sisters, so ten bridesmaids sounds about right. The J'Slaves, Anna, Joy and Johanna would be six as it is.

[GEML]

I find it fascinating that her future father in law went to bat and defended her, but the Duggar clan stayed quiet. I'm sure Jessa noticed as well. Still putting my money that she'll go full Fundy (after she's collected a couple of very handy checks) and accuse her parents of selling out.

[Sew Sumi]

I find it fascinating that her future father in law went to bat and defended her, but the Duggar clan stayed quiet. I'm sure Jessa noticed as well. Still putting my money that she'll go full Fundy (after she's collected a couple of very handy checks) and accuse her parents of selling out.

I agree that she'll bail once she has a nice nest egg, but I think they could well go the other direction once they're done "playing the game" to get out of the house. Of course, they can't go very far until the cameras go away, and given that Jill's wedding drew the biggest ratings for TLC in 4 years, that's gonna be a while down the road.

[GEML]

Going the other way, how? More liberal? Because I don't see that happening at all, but that's me.

[Almost 3000]

Going the other way, how? More liberal? Because I don't see that happening at all, but that's me.

Its been an interesting mention here that Jessa may go radical fundie and call her parents out on selling out. It think that was what the offensive abortion tweets were about but hopefully that has more to do with age and with some maturity they will mellow out. I'm not totally up to speed on Ben's dad but he sounds pretty radical and may be behind their acting out on on-line because he seems to support it and also call out the Duggars about a couple of things. I just can't help myself finding it all amusing and offensive at the same time.

[Betweenyouandme]

Not to pick on the poor girl endlessly, but why can't someone get Jessa to a dermatologist? As soon as I started breaking out, my parents started taking me for treatment; as they said, "We have insurance and you don't HAVE to suffer through bad skin, so why not?" As the Duggars are so uber-focused on "countenance," I'm surprised they don't see acne as a detriment.

Yes and considering they take the kids to a plastic surgeon if something happens to their face. What's a dermatoligist appt to them?

[Sew Sumi]

Going the other way, how? More liberal? Because I don't see that happening at all, but that's me.

Not tree-hugging liberal. No way. Just more fundie-lite. I don't see her homeschooling kids at all. Plenty of fundie-lites send their kids to the ebil public schools. See: Dillards. Ben is attending real community college, albeit online right now. He's going to have to set foot on a real campus once he transfers if he plans on actually getting a degree. Not every class he needs is going to be found online. This can only be a good thing, especially as a Poly Sci major (if he's actually changed majors). He's definitely going to encounter people with different points of view and he's going to be forced to think critically about them, rather than dismiss them out of hand with fundie-speak.

[GEML]

I do think the Calvinist fundies (like Ben's family) see the benefit of a college education. So that is a big difference from the Gothard crew. And they tend, as a group, to be more educated. So in that regard, I think Jessa clearly benefits from the marriage. Her children may even go to a Christian school, although I would be surprised.

I do think that the Seewalds will tend to pull Jessa into their circle in a way the Dillard's won't Jill. Partly because the Seewalds know how the Fundy game is played, and where the headship is supposed to go - there is no Mr Dillard Sr helping Derrick make sure he gets his rights. And also, I think Jessa may genuinely want to go. Which will be a very different issue than the Duggars have dealt with. Yes, Josh and Anna left, but after quite a few years and in a more graceful way. Jessa may just move on out.

[NausetGirl]

I think they are holding that timeslot for Kate + 8. ugh.

 

Good grief. If that's true, management at TLC is even more clueless than I thought.

[NausetGirl]

Does anyone think that Ben was told to go up and escort Jessa out of the church for show to create another "talked about" moment.

 

Gotta say I could see that happening. So lame though. Can't they come up with anything positive for a "talked about" moment?

[NausetGirl]

She is a brat but she made me laugh. In the talking head Jinger says she did get a melted root beer float on the way out. Jessa waits a beat and quips, I don't like root beer. Her timing was pretty funny AND bratty too.

 

Yes, that made me LOL too.

[NausetGirl]

I find it fascinating that her future father in law went to bat and defended her, but the Duggar clan stayed quiet. I'm sure Jessa noticed as well. Still putting my money that she'll go full Fundy (after she's collected a couple of very handy checks) and accuse her parents of selling out.

 

Gee, Boob really has the courage of his convictions, doesn't he?  So much for his "ministry."  What a gigantic crock of crud.

[mimionthebeach]

Why is Jessa a brat? I know she's snarky, sanctimonious and "lazy" (although as others have pointed out it's not her job to raise her siblings), but why a brat?

[Hpmec]

I agree with GEML that Jessa may send her children to a private Christian school, but only because I can't see her putting forth the effort to be a homeschooling mom.

I think she and Ben will continue to ride the Duggar gravy train as long as they can, though. With a limited education and the job skills he's learning from JimBoob like cleaning toilets not very lucrative, Ben has little choice but to make the show his career for now. The way JB was leading him by the tie at the wedding said it all. JB leads. Ben follows.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

I agree with GEML that Jessa may send her children to a private Christian school, but only because I can't see her putting forth the effort to be a homeschooling mom.

I agree with this. Or, have Aunt Jana come and visit. Permanently.

 

It's wedding day, isn't it? Woop!

 

ETA: I am an idiot. I thought today was Saturday!!

Edited October 31, 2014 by SpaghettiTuesdays

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

I'm trying to creep on their registries and the Amazon one looks way different. There's two listed, one is "empty" and the other has mostly gift certificates, and iPad, Macbook, and a few random things. Do you think people made a fake one to scam fans or something? This is really kind of sketchy. The BB&B one is the same. And just what are they going to do with all of these appliances? Most of them will never leave the box, yet people bought them up.

[CarolMK]

Regarding Ben and college, it was shown right when Ben was first on the show (the episode where he asked Jessa to court) that he was at the time attending college on the actual campus of Northwest Arkansas college (or whatever it's called, sorry I can't remember it exactly) and he was also running a side business fixing windshields. He had to swtich to doing online classes once he moved in with the Duggars since it's 4 hours away.I suspect at some point that Ben may go into business with his dad since he too fixes windshields. Jessa might really enjoy living in the Hot Springs area, too , a distance but not impossible drive away from her family.

By the way, I can't remember where I found this, but I'm pretty sure Mrs. Seewald (Guinn?) is a year older than her husband..they married when he was 19 and she was 20. So his parents probably don't see him as too young to get married. 

[MLE]

Ok I'm sick of the silence about any little detail about the Binessa wedding trainwreck. Why aren't they sharing?

I've been wondering this too! I've seen it speculated that the reasonw we're seeing so many Jill pregnancy pictures and saw the wedding pics in People is because unlike the show money, that goes directly to Jill and Derrick. Especially with Ben's limited skills, I would've hoped they'd figure that out and sell their wedding info, too.

[JerseyGirl]

“I might have more than 19 kids. Probably not all biological, but I want to adopt a lot,” Jessa said with a smile

http://www.inquisitr.com/1575284/jessa-duggar-19-kids-and-counting-star-wants-at-least-19-kids-of-her-own/#1oeLlZx9M4YdFyfq.99

[Adeejay]

I don’t understand why there is such disdain for Ben.  I like him.  He seems like a nice guy and a little bit on the shy side.  I am sure that he has been taught by his parents to be respectful; hence the goofy grin even when he knows the joke is on him.  Derick, on the other hand, is lauded as a great “get” - educated and intelligent.  But, the more and more I see of Derick I am beginning to have my doubts.  I was hoping he would show Jill how the other half lives, but instead, he seems to be getting sucked into the “Duggars way of life”.  What bugs me most is the notion that it is such an honor and a privilege to marry into the Duggar family.  Why?  They aren’t anything special.  They just happen to have 19 children and are on television.

[Fuzzysox]

I think Bin has a bunch of sisters, so ten bridesmaids sounds about right. The J'Slaves, Anna, Joy and Johanna would be six as it is.

Yes Bin has sisters and one of them looks like the singer Lorde. She was sitting behind the Duggars at Jill's wedding.

 

So today is the rehearsal dinner which should be hosted by Bin's family if they keep the tradition.......wonder what Guinn will come up with? She seems a lot more classy then MEchelle. Oh and I WANT PICTURES! This Binessa wedding is going to kill me if we don't get any soon.

[trimthatfat]

If Jessa is serious about adoption, that's really great.

 

I don’t understand why there is such disdain for Ben.  I like him.  He seems like a nice guy and a little bit on the shy side.  I am sure that he has been taught by his parents to be respectful; hence the goofy grin even when he knows the joke is on him.  Derick, on the other hand, is lauded as a great “get” - educated and intelligent.  But, the more and more I see of Derick I am beginning to have my doubts.  I was hoping he would show Jill how the other half lives, but instead, he seems to be getting sucked into the “Duggars way of life”.  What bugs me most is the notion that it is such an honor and a privilege to marry into the Duggar family.  Why?  They aren’t anything special.  They just happen to have 19 children and are on television.

 

I agree with you. I keep saying it, but Ben is 19. No young man (or woman) has it all figured out at 19. It's just not possible. With time and life experience, he should mature quite a bit. I honestly don't think Derrick is superior to Ben either.

[glow]

I don’t understand why there is such disdain for Ben.  I like him.  He seems like a nice guy and a little bit on the shy side.  I am sure that he has been taught by his parents to be respectful; hence the goofy grin even when he knows the joke is on him.  Derick, on the other hand, is lauded as a great “get” - educated and intelligent.  But, the more and more I see of Derick I am beginning to have my doubts.  I was hoping he would show Jill how the other half lives, but instead, he seems to be getting sucked into the “Duggars way of life”.  What bugs me most is the notion that it is such an honor and a privilege to marry into the Duggar family.  Why?  They aren’t anything special.  They just happen to have 19 children and are on television.

 

I agree with you. Jessa and Ben always make me smile. I wish them well and I'm looking forward to hearing about how their big day went.

[wanderwoman]

I dislike Bin because he brought nothing to the table.  He's 19. He has never had a moment without his mommy or his sisters helping him at every turn.  His business was a sham.  Instead of taking a stand and making his own destiny, he let his fathers tell him he couldn't date girls, but that he WOULD marry this one.  He is getting married - not buying a goldfish- and his only concern is whether or not he gets to kiss the girl.  He is the butt of every Duggar joke and he will continue to be such because he is an outsider.  Have you not seen the scorn and derision from John David and every Duggar boy over 10 (which I'm pretty sure includes EVERY Duggar boy)?  Have you not seen his inability to measure, drive, add, and have a voice?  Bin, for me, is the embodiment of patriarchal headship problems. THIS dude gets automatic headship over Jessa,...even though she pretty much owns his ass... because he's male? At least Derick had a job and was actually on his own.

[Adeejay]

I dislike Bin because he brought nothing to the table.  He's 19. He has never had a moment without his mommy or his sisters helping him at every turn.  His business was a sham. 

 

Then it is a good thing you are not the one who is marrying him.  Gee, I wonder why those fugly Duggar boys would be jealous of a handsome guy like Ben.  That they treat him like crap speaks more to their character than Ben’s.

[CarolMK]

In all honesty, I see Ben as much more likeable and personable that say, Joseph. Either Joseph is shy or socially awkward. He's going to be 20 in January, same as that Joshua was when he and Anna got married, but we don't know much about him except that he recently went to Alert camp and I think he helps John David in the towing business. Joseph seems a lot more like a kid than Ben and I don't see how TLC could make much of a storyline out of him getting married.

[Hpmec]

Jessa does not have a maternal bone in her body. The minute she started courting Ben she became too busy for helping around the house. There is no way she's ready to take on the roles of mother to a bunch of howlers and housewife. If she was brought up in a non-fundie household she'd be in college or maybe beauty school, dating, and having the time of her life. Too bad she's trapped in a cult with a father who's marrying her off to a teenager.

[trimthatfat]

With all due respect, I think the expectations that Ben take a stand and make his own destiny aren't realistic. Very few 19 year old men and women are able to make their way without help from mom and dad. 99.9% of the 19 year olds out there aren't anywhere close to having it all together mentally, physically, or emotionally, so expecting Ben to do so is just odd to me.

 

I also don't think it's his fault he's the butt of the Duggar jokes. All that tells me is that some of the Duggar boys are assholes. If someone treated me poorly just because they could, I think that says way more about them than me. It is not okay to me that the Duggar boys enjoy treating Ben like an outsider. Like, shit, they aren't special. They are no better than Ben. I hate how they act like they are so much better than the average person.

Edited October 31, 2014 by trimthatfat

[Ljohnson1987]

Jessa, you still have time to back out of this. 

[GEML]

I'm actually hoping that Jessa and Ben turn out ok -- although I'm not really sure what "ok" in their world is going to mean.  And I agree that Ben as a person, in my opinion, is a nicer person than any of the comparable Duggar young men around his age.  He may not be educated (yet) or have a great career ahead of him, but for all John David owns a house and business and can fly a plane, he's still emotionally the more immature.

[BitterApple]

With all due respect, I think the expectations that Ben take a stand and make his own destiny aren't realistic. Very few 19 year old men and women are able to make their way without help from mom and dad. 99.9% of the 19 year olds out there aren't anywhere close to having it all together mentally, physically, or emotionally, so expecting Ben to do so is just odd to me.

 

 

 

I was about to write the same thing until I read your post. My nephew is the same age as Bin, and he would bring nothing to the table except his X-Box and collection of Jordan's. Bin really isn't any different than any other guys his age, Fundie or non-Fundie. However the fact that he is so young and inexperienced, along with his lack of real skills and education makes a good case for why he has no business getting married. 

[glow]

But he desires to be responsible and make that commitment, which puts him in a different league from those 19 year olds who just want to play the latest video game. That's what propels those teens into responsible men who cherish and provide for their family. He has something to fight for and establish. He'll only get older, finish college and grow into his skin, if that's the right word. As other poster have mentioned, he's kind, sweet and amicable to making a relationship with Jessa work. Unlike Jill who flew over to see Derick, started courting days later, engaged soon after and married quickly, Jessa and Ben have courted for almost a full year and they knew each other long before this. Their relationship is at a stage that's rather comfortable and mature. Maybe it's not your cup of tea, but I respect it.

 

I love the way he looks at her while she's looking at the camera. I then love how she knows this so she looks at him, but by that time, he's looking at the camera -- then he's looking at her and she's looking back at the camera -- both beaming. I say this constantly but these two make me smile and I wish them the best.

Edited October 31, 2014 by glow

[GEML]

Yes, Ben's grown on me over the past year, while I really think that Derrick is as enthralled with the Duggar life as much as he is with Jill. That doesn't mean that I'm terribly interested in watching either couple's lives in detail play out (the past episodes were way way too much) but I no longer think that Derrick is "all that" and Ben is just some dim whit who doesn't know what he's doing. Actually coming from the culture, he may, in the long term, come out more adept in handling the engagement process than Derrick did (who seemed pretty deer in the headlights to me.)

[abseedee]

I haven't yet warmed up to Bin.  I'm sure he is a nice guy.  Misguided maybe and definitely not yet mature.  I hope he will be able to assert himself or he will be led by Jessa like Boob led him by the tie.  He may mature fast once he and Jessa are married and the kids start popping out.  We'll see.

 

eta: Jessa and Bin's event set-up.  From Pickles and Hairspray

 

 

Edited November 1, 2014 by abseedee

[PityFree]

I kind of hope the senior Mr Seewald sees the video of Jim Bob dragging Bin by his tie and he rips Jim Bob a new one.

Edited November 1, 2014 by PityFree

[Barb23]

I don't know if this was posted before - sorry if I'm repeating. On the Duggar Family Blog site (sorry I can't link right from my tablet) there are a few pictures from a "last minute" wedding shower the Seewalds threw for the couple. It looked very nice. They served different kinds of soup & looked like cupcakes in the wedding colors were dessert. There were some harvest type arrangements for decorations that were 100% better than the Duggar reusable crepe paper. There's a picture of Jessa & Guinn and another one with the couple & Ben's Aunt Amy. Only Duggars pictured were Jed & Jeremiah. No mention or picture of THE mother of the bride. Thank goodness. Maybe her & Boob were on the Stink Bus campaign trail. Guinn & Aunt Amy were dressed very nicely. I'm sure the MOB would have been in her usual denim skirt & crocs. The soup bowls looked like they could have been "real" bowls. Even if they weren't, they weren't plain Styrofoam, they had some type of design around the top. (I don't blame them for using disposable for this type of function & these looked very nice.)

I'm not a big fan of Benessa or the Seewalds. But after seeing these pictures, I'm really hoping the Seewalds, esp Guinn, help pull Jessa away from the Gothardism way of life. Ben does have a large extended family that could be influential as well.

[Mrsjumbo]

Well, Jessa is going to have vastly different weather than Jill. There is a freeze warning tonight, & the high tomorrow is only 54.

I'm surprised JB ok'd the 2 weddings being so close together. TLC could have done a whole season of "all about Jessa". I don't watch the show enough- I'm assuming they haven't done this & they don't have a place picked out & we haven 't seen her feathering the future nest? But TLC just showed Jill's wedding so maybe they will? Wish they would catch up in "real time".

[glow]

At Jill's wedding, Jim Bob said that he wasn't ready to give up another daughter so soon. Jessa quipped, "You don't want us to elope, do you?" I think she has a determination and independence that's refreshing among Duggar girls. 

[brooksneenee]

Since they have never experienced normal teenage relationships I don't think they know what love is. How can you know someone well enough to marry, when you have never had two minutes alone in any way shape or form.

[Fuzzysox]

How far away is Bentonville, AR then Tonitown?  I'm betting no after the wedding reception at the TTH.

 

And ITA Guinn is a lot more classy then MEchelle. she is always dressed well not frumpy. I always teach my girls that appearance is everything. Always look clean and dress nice because first impressions are everything.