smittykins February 7, 2015 Share February 7, 2015 Geez, VermontTeddyBear.com, why don't you just come out and say "Guys, give your Valentine this 4-foot-tall teddy bear and you'll get laid!!" 1 Link to comment
backformore February 7, 2015 Share February 7, 2015 (edited) Geez, VermontTeddyBear.com, why don't you just come out and say "Guys, give your Valentine this 4-foot-tall teddy bear and you'll get laid!!" And as a grown adult woman, I say - don't treat me like I'm a child. And don't assume I have a place in my home to put a giant stuffed animal. If you want to buy an outrageously over-priced gift, use your brain and figure out what I might actually want. Or pick up some flowers. no giant toys, please! And men - DO NOT buy your girlfriend the "fifty shades" bear, unless you are absolutely SURE she is into it. Because - EWWW! Edited February 7, 2015 by backformore 10 Link to comment
Pepper the Cat February 7, 2015 Share February 7, 2015 Geez, VermontTeddyBear.com, why don't you just come out and say "Guys, give your Valentine this 4-foot-tall teddy bear and you'll get laid!!" I just saw this ad. Yeah, the last thing in the world I want is a 4 foot tall teddy! And the way the girl in the ad cuddles up to it is creeeepy! 3 Link to comment
90PercentGravity February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 (edited) I don't know what this means, but I'm laughing at it anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pQwE1q50OY#t=40 Edited February 8, 2015 by 90PercentGravity 1 Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Well. That was obnoxious. Thanks. I think. :-P Link to comment
TattleTeeny February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 I think the majority of people out there are dumb. And, full disclosure... I'm incapable of going 24 hours without doing something regrettably dumb. I can take comfort in being on the winning team, I guess. I just wanted to tell you that your picture made me laugh--it looks really similar to a drawing my BF made of himself because he forgot to make band flyers for a bar that asked for them. I still have it; somehow it's rudimentary and also a good likeness. Link to comment
Brattinella February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 And of course there is the Resignation that you, as a driver, WILL tear someone's bumper off so you may as well get their insurance to pay for that sure thing. 2 Link to comment
erikdepressant February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 I just wanted to tell you that your picture made me laugh--it looks really similar to a drawing my BF made of himself because he forgot to make band flyers for a bar that asked for them. I still have it; somehow it's rudimentary and also a good likeness. Thanks, TattleTeeny; that's really sweet. We stick-figure people may all look alike, but we're sexy when we're tearing other people's bumpers off with our red trucks. 10 Link to comment
TattleTeeny February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Or, you know, like all the other "real men" in commercials, not knowing how to feed your kids, do laundry, use a paper towel or cough medicine...but most of all, when you stay in your place and keep your man-paws off the ladies' yogurt! 4 Link to comment
Sandman87 February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 And men - DO NOT buy your girlfriend the "fifty shades" bear, unless you are absolutely SURE she is into it. KK0015958_175_20141215_1540.jpg Because - EWWW! So you're saying I should wait for them to make a Blue Velvet bear instead? 6 Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Or, you know, like all the other "real men" in commercials, not knowing how to feed your kids, do laundry, use a paper towel or cough medicine...but most of all, when you stay in your place and keep your man-paws off the ladies' yogurt! That reminds me... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5sE0WQPM20 Now, beyond the fact that babies seldom sleep through the night for the first few months, why is this woman giving her husband the look of death? I can only presume that he didn't get sick on purpose, and she doesn't seem to be ill, so why is she so mad? 5 Link to comment
Stella MD February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Why does Valentine's Day have to involve ANY kind of stuffed bear? Presumably you're not in a relationship with a five-year-old. And while you're at it, stop with the cheap, stale chocolates as well, and don't even think about a butt necklace. Most Valentine's gifts remind me of this commercial spoof: http://screencrush.com/snl-valentines-day-cvs/ 'When did you get this?' 'One minute ago' 6 Link to comment
Brattinella February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 That reminds me... Now, beyond the fact that babies seldom sleep through the night for the first few months, why is this woman giving her husband the look of death? I can only presume that he didn't get sick on purpose, and she doesn't seem to be ill, so why is she so mad? Seriously, if she had a gun she would FREAKIN KILL HIM! I can't believe the murder in her eyes! 2 Link to comment
Watcher0363 February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 And men - DO NOT buy your girlfriend the "fifty shades" bear, unless you are absolutely SURE she is into it. Because - EWWW! So you're saying I should wait for them to make a Blue Velvet bear instead? Personally I am waiting for the 'Monster's Ball' teddy bear. Complete with a Make me feel Gooood! audio file. 2 Link to comment
potatoradio February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 (edited) Seriously, the new Big Mac commercial spokesperson can STFU. "This [iceberg lettuce] will never be kale." "It needs no introduction." And, the super smarmy, "in your face" tone of the final "Ba da ba da BA?" Oh my god, I think I'm supposed to start beating my chest and raging against fine dining and eat Big Macs out of rebellion as one of the people, but man, this layperson will gladly eat a kale shake served by an egomaniac instead of trying to gag down a Big Mac out of some kind of "commoner loyalty." And,speaking of products that try to enlist my loyalty by assuming I'm a moron--that snarky almond who lounges in people's kitchens and goads them into trying almond milk? Oh, how I want to flick him into the blender or smash him into paste. Geez, I know commercials shouldn't make me this angry, but dang, I hate getting insulted by my teevee that's supposed to entertain me... Edited February 9, 2015 by potatoradio 10 Link to comment
Watcher0363 February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 The line about the Big Mac never being deconstructed in its lifetime. Cracks me up. What an overused term, deconstructed has become in the culinary world. 2 Link to comment
CoderLady February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 And,speaking of products that try to enlist my loyalty by assuming I'm a moron--that snarky almond who lounges in people's kitchens and goads them into trying almond milk? Oh, how I want to flick him into the blender or smash him into paste. That one made me realize that I've hit snark overload in general so for that I'm almost grateful, but being treated like I'm too stupid to hear the contempt never, ever works on me so there's that, too. 1 Link to comment
erikdepressant February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 I couldn't find it on YouTube, but the latest Sam Adams commercial is irritating. The female narrator vocal-fries the end of every. single. line. I would rather hang out with the almond than a Sam Adams hipster. 5 Link to comment
Muffyn February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 I couldn't find it on YouTube, but the latest Sam Adams commercial is irritating. The female narrator vocal-fries the end of every. single. line. I would rather hang out with the almond than a Sam Adams hipster. Agreed. Also, I really don't want people who work in a factory in which they make beverages to bring their dogs to work. And I'm not exactly impressed that they dress casually on the factory floor or that they drink beer with friends. What radical behavior. Next thing you know, they'll tell me they eat food and wear shoes. 7 Link to comment
smittykins February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 "Half-fast Internet." That is all. 3 Link to comment
6 MeowMeowBeenz February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 Why does Valentine's Day have to involve ANY kind of stuffed bear? I think I'd rather get a bear than a STAR! named after me In the INTERNATIONAL! STAR! REGISTRY! at least a bear is real, LOL 2 Link to comment
AntiBeeSpray February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 "Half-fast Internet." That is all. What the? O_o That literally makes no sense. What company is that ad for? Link to comment
shoregirl February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 Verizon Fios https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKVYsYS7SHY 1 Link to comment
merylinkid February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 Half-fast is because they can't say "half assed" in a swipe at Comcast. 4 Link to comment
Duke2801 February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 (edited) I think the majority of people out there are dumb. And, full disclosure... I'm incapable of going 24 hours without doing something regrettably dumb. I can take comfort in being on the winning team, I guess. You guys. I've been part of a Dr. Oz Facebook group. And I'm here to concur that the "average American" is very dumb. I am being dead serious when I say that the people here who post at PTV are, for the most part, way ahead of the curve. So while we here roll our eyes and gnash our teeth at the "bratty" kids who want their cutie oranges, the average American, I fully believe, is going "Tee hee! How cute and funny!!!" Hence this seemingly endless barrage of insipid commercials that are being green-lit day after day, year after year. Edited February 9, 2015 by Duke2801 11 Link to comment
erikdepressant February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 (edited) Hence this seemingly endless barrage of insipid commercials that are being green-lit day after day, year after year. I assume everything we see has made it past some kind of focus group, so I always wonder where advertising companies find the idiots who give the stupid commercials a thumbs-up. Your post causes me to worry that the focus groups really are random samples from our population, Duke2801. I've heard co-workers quote commercials that I found moronic, but the worst place to be subjected to dumb-commercial audiences is in the movie theater. There's nothing like watching a commercial so insultingly stupid it makes your popcorn taste like nosebleed, only to have the people around you guffaw approvingly. Edited February 9, 2015 by erikdepressant 7 Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 Hence this seemingly endless barrage of insipid commercials that are being green-lit day after day, year after year. You mean like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIBfctISM9M I originally posted it it the head-scratcher thread, but now I've seen it eighty or so times and its pissing me off. 2 Link to comment
BubblingKettle February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 (edited) The Our Time commercials annoy me because I think they mislead their target audience of older people looking for dates (I'm not sure what the site's age range is, exactly). Let's face it, the people in the commercial are so damn above-average, it's ridiculous. All of the women are wrinkle-free and have long, lovely, contemporary hair. The men are Macy's sales circular model-variety handsome, and they wear up-to-date haircuts and clothes. This is NOT reality in Our Time, Their Time, Anyone's Time. Sure, there might be some foxy folks on that site (whose photos actually match their real appearance), but I'm betting there aren't a lot of people like the actors in this commercial. Wonder if some old farts meet up with a normal-looking lady and leave disappointed (or vice-versa with genders). btw - I plan to maintain foxiness for decades to come, so I'm not throwing shade at the people in the commercial. (lols) ;) Edited February 10, 2015 by CoolWhipLite 5 Link to comment
slensam February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 The Our Time commercials annoy me because I think they mislead their target audience of older people looking for dates (I'm not sure what the site's age range is, exactly). Let's face it, the people in the commercial are so damn above-average, it's ridiculous. All of the women are wrinkle-free and have long, lovely, contemporary hair. The men are Macy's sales circular model-variety handsome, and they wear up-to-date haircuts and clothes. This is NOT reality in Our Time, Their Time, Anyone's Time. Sure, there might be some foxy folks on that site (whose photos actually match their real appearance), but I'm betting there aren't a lot of people like the actors in this commercial. Wonder if some old farts meet up with a normal-looking lady and leave disappointed (or vice-versa with genders). btw - I plan to maintain foxiness for decades to come, so I'm not throwing shade at the people in the commercial. (lols) ;) Yeah, I saw this and thought that the last woman they show has to be the youngest looking fifty year old I've ever seen. 3 Link to comment
erikdepressant February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 Well, 50 is the new 40. If you've seen last year's Viagra commercials, you'd know that E.D. turns you into a cowboy. Needing preventive injections against osteoporosis seems to clear up wrinkles. Buying emergency aid pendants makes you look 20 years younger (but the effect gets reversed if you have to re-enact your emergency for the cameras). 8 Link to comment
slensam February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 I didn't know whether to put this under the puzzling or annoying topic but it seems to be both. Marie Osmond for Nutrisystem. Why is she still there? I seem to remember reading stuff about her in this thread back in December. I thought it was for a holidays ad campaign and when they were over she would be gone. Yet I still see her. I mean, Donny and Marie were over thirty years ago and she's certainly not as likeable as she was back then. I don't get it. 1 Link to comment
Duke2801 February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 (edited) I didn't know whether to put this under the puzzling or annoying topic but it seems to be both. Marie Osmond for Nutrisystem. Why is she still there? I seem to remember reading stuff about her in this thread back in December. I thought it was for a holidays ad campaign and when they were over she would be gone. Yet I still see her. I mean, Donny and Marie were over thirty years ago and she's certainly not as likeable as she was back then. I don't get it. I can only assume she's good for their bottom line. Those infomercials plus the QVC (or is it HSN?) appearances she does reel a lot of people in. She's also still a very recognizable name/face for most people 35+ and she did (supposedly....) lose a significant amount of weight on NS. I can only assume they would have yanked her by now if their sales weren't any good. Edited February 10, 2015 by Duke2801 Link to comment
Stella MD February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 (edited) I doubt the Venn diagram of "people who are marginally recognizable to the general public" and "people who actually lost weight with whatever silly diet they're shilling" has a lot of overlap. Couple that with the time pressure to ensure that the series of commercials are filmed before the celebrity in question pulls a Kirstie Alley and regains all the weight, and I'm not surprised that we're seeing a ton of Marie at all once. (ha, no pun intended) Edited February 10, 2015 by Stella MD 4 Link to comment
legaleagle53 February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 I think I'd rather get a bear than a STAR! named after me In the INTERNATIONAL! STAR! REGISTRY! at least a bear is real, LOL Stars named after people are real, too, even if they can't be seen with the naked eye. Well, 50 is the new 40. If you've seen last year's Viagra commercials, you'd know that E.D. turns you into a cowboy. Needing preventive injections against osteoporosis seems to clear up wrinkles. Buying emergency aid pendants makes you look 20 years younger (but the effect gets reversed if you have to re-enact your emergency for the cameras). Actually, 50 is the new 30 (said the man who turns 54 on Thursday!). 8 Link to comment
erikdepressant February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 Actually, 50 is the new 30 (said the man who turns 54 on Thursday!). Happy Birthday. We're getting you Seymour Butts jewelry. Remember, you're never too young to yell at kids on your lawn. 14 Link to comment
6 MeowMeowBeenz February 10, 2015 Share February 10, 2015 stars named after people are real, yes...but is Rocky Mozelle (sp?) really the arbiter of how stars are named? I don't think so! 3 Link to comment
Rick Kitchen February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 You can always name a cockroach after the person you love. 2 Link to comment
AntiBeeSpray February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 The Our Time commercials annoy me because I think they mislead their target audience of older people looking for dates (I'm not sure what the site's age range is, exactly). Let's face it, the people in the commercial are so damn above-average, it's ridiculous. All of the women are wrinkle-free and have long, lovely, contemporary hair. The men are Macy's sales circular model-variety handsome, and they wear up-to-date haircuts and clothes. This is NOT reality in Our Time, Their Time, Anyone's Time. Sure, there might be some foxy folks on that site (whose photos actually match their real appearance), but I'm betting there aren't a lot of people like the actors in this commercial. Wonder if some old farts meet up with a normal-looking lady and leave disappointed (or vice-versa with genders). btw - I plan to maintain foxiness for decades to come, so I'm not throwing shade at the people in the commercial. (lols) ;) Exactly. It makes no sense. And it's rather sexist to boot imo. 1 Link to comment
spaceytraci1208 February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 Personally I am waiting for the 'Monster's Ball' teddy bear. Complete with a Make me feel Gooood! audio file. That...is simultaneously horrifying and hilarious 2 Link to comment
mojoween February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 I generally find walking, talking cartoon snot globules to be beyond disgusting but I adore T.J. Miller so I don't how I feel about the Mucinex commercials. And that annoys me. Link to comment
Magog February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 (edited) Exactly. Who wouldn't like to send Flo off to be executed on sight? I would. Now, I have to see her creepy revolting self in yet another Progressive commercial featuring Maury Povich. I don't know why Maury Povich would want to bring even more shame to himself & his show for even appearing in this crap. http://youtube.com/watch?v=K65WpNE1cSU Edited February 11, 2015 by Magog 1 Link to comment
ari333 February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 I thought I just heard a commercial for a pubic cake. It was cupid cake. Alrighty then. "I HAVE a structured SETTlement but I NEED cash NOW!" Link to comment
erikdepressant February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 Geez, VermontTeddyBear.com, why don't you just come out and say "Guys, give your Valentine this 4-foot-tall teddy bear and you'll get laid!!" Smittykins, I finally saw that commercial for the first time today. Just boggling. It's almost a parody of itself, to the point of being self-defeating. The tone is "Even if you buy this ironically, it's still a terrible gift." How do they expect to make money? I would buy it for a kid's bedroom I guess. What I really disliked was the juxtaposition of sexual innuendos and infantilization. In case I wasn't the last person on Earth to see it: Link to comment
Bastet February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 I thought I just heard a commercial for a pubic cake. Well, it is almost Valentine's Day. 3 Link to comment
bilgistic February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 Smittykins, I finally saw that commercial for the first time today. Just boggling. It's almost a parody of itself, to the point of being self-defeating. The tone is "Even if you buy this ironically, it's still a terrible gift." How do they expect to make money? I would buy it for a kid's bedroom I guess. What I really disliked was the juxtaposition of sexual innuendos and infantilization. In case I wasn't the last person on Earth to see it: As I was walking through the kitchen/cafeteria at work today, I caught a glimpse of this commercial. Giant stuffed animals creeped me out as a kid (thanks, Poltergeist's almost-lifesize clown), but I am doubly horrified that this man thinks that fucking teddy bear is a great gift for his lady friend/wife/whoever. He needs to be castrated. I'm only slightly kidding. 2 Link to comment
erikdepressant February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 As I was walking through the kitchen/cafeteria at work today, I caught a glimpse of this commercial. Giant stuffed animals creeped me out as a kid (thanks, Poltergeist's almost-lifesize clown), but I am doubly horrified that this man thinks that fucking teddy bear is a great gift for his lady friend/wife/whoever. He needs to be castrated. I'm only slightly kidding. Well, if he gets castrated, "...her bear will be there to keep her company (see shot of her jumping into bed with it)." Poltergeist did for clowns what Jaws did for sharks. 2 Link to comment
mojoween February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 ari my husband thought he heard pubic cake too. I like to think the director heard it, but when no one else mentioned it, he decided to leave it like that. Not gonna lie though...I want that cake. But alas, there is no DQ around here. 1 Link to comment
LoneHaranguer February 11, 2015 Share February 11, 2015 Giant stuffed animals creeped me out as a kid (thanks, Poltergeist's almost-lifesize clown), but I am doubly horrified that this man thinks that fucking teddy bear is a great gift for his lady friend/wife/whoever. If it was literally a fucking teddy bear, that would put an entirely different spin on this ad, especially the final bedroom scene. 5 Link to comment
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