Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[proserpina65]

Is there a Sonic near you? They do breakfast all day, and that's on the menu at some of them. The bacon and egg bagel sandwich is even the morning special at the one near here ($1.99 including coffee).

There is.  I'll have to check it out.  Thanks.

[proserpina65]

There has to be some law though that pertains to taste level, right?  you can't tell me we sent a man to the moon but didn't make a law that makes it illegal to use Thriller is such a terrible way.

 

This is the Jackson family we're talking about.  They'll sell his songs to anyone with money.

Just out of curiosity, what does it taste like?

The squid ink pasta I had (years ago, mind you) tasted kind of nutty, with a slight hint of bitterness, if I remember correctly.  Although that could've been the sauce it was dressed with.

[proserpina65]

There's some new Chevy commercial I've seen a bunch this weekend that pisses me off.  They bring in a group of "Real People, Not Actors" into a room, and the guy tells them it's a market research thing, and takes all of their cell phones so they can take pictures or record anything being discussed.  He then proceeds to drop them in a running wood chipper, spraying cell phone bits across the room.  I don't get what destroying someone's property has to do with selling crappy Chevys, I've long since muted or switched channels, and I don't know if it's a trick and they don't really destroy the phones, but if I were one of those "real people" in the commercial, they wouldn't be able to air my segment - I don't think they would want to show a clip of me shouting "You frigging moron..." while I repeatedly smashed a chair on the guy's head...

That ad annoys me for an entirely different reason: that people are so attached to their frickin' phones that they can't be without them while they're driving vehicles which weigh hundreds (if not thousands) of pounds at high rates of speed.  Hang up your stupid phone and drive.  And stay off my lawn.

[amass]

Ummm

[Jamoche]

That ad annoys me for an entirely different reason: that people are so attached to their frickin' phones that they can't be without them while they're driving vehicles which weigh hundreds (if not thousands) of pounds at high rates of speed.  Hang up your stupid phone and drive.  And stay off my lawn.

But they aren't driving, they're sitting at a table doing "market research".

[RCharter]

Ummm

did this dude just have an orgasm over some disgusting Yoplait yogurt?

 

It must be his birthday if yogurt bitch is letting have some disgusting yoplait.

[Matryoshka]

Y'know, Sarah Hyland is a really cute girl, but hearing her say the word 'emoji' over and over again does not make me want to order pizza from Domino's. It makes me want to stab my television.

What makes me stabby is her lack of enunciation. All I hear is "pizzamoji, pizzamoji, pizzamoji."

 

Ok, so here's the thing: that ad with the song from Oliver!, clearly doing a bad job, because although I love musicals, and actually quite enjoy that one, I am so so so so so so so sick of having that song stuck in my head. And I don't even remember what they're advertising. That's an ad fail right there.

It's for Cox Gigablast and I'm so sick of that song and that smug kid who thinks he's somehow going to print 3D food.

[pandora spocks]

TV commercials have made me hate the word bundle.  There are bundles for insurance, phone plans, or cable and satellite TV.  I remember when bundle had a more pleasant connotation such as bundle of joy.  Now whenever I hear the word, I want to bundle my head under a thick pillow and scream.

 

There's a commercial for Medicare supplemental insurance that drives me nuts.  First, there's the incessant ukulele music that seems out of place in an insurance commercial unless it was set in Hawaii.  Next, there's the clueless husband who looks like he would need instructions to pour piss out of a boot.   When he heard that he would get to keep his current doctor, he exclaims, "You know, I love that guy!"  Thank God, he has his wife to look out for him.  Otherwise, he would stare at a carton of orange juice to make it concentrated.

[CarpeDiem54]

"there's the clueless husband who looks like he would need instructions to pour piss out of a boot"

Classic!

[Brattinella]

"there's the clueless husband who looks like he would need instructions to pour piss out of a boot"

Classic!

I really love you guys! CarpeDiem and pandora, Angela and CoolWhip and ItsHelloNancy and Riley and Muffyn and Cobalt and all the rest, You make my day!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Next, there's the clueless husband who looks like he would need instructions to pour piss out of a boot.

 

The first thing I thought was, How does that make him different than every other husband in every other commercial?

[RCharter]

 

 

The first thing I thought was, How does that make him different than every other husband in every other commercial?

 

Remember this guy who had to have his toy run over and his balls taken away because he made the mistake of taking a nap in the afternoon instead of doing what his wife told him to do?

 

 

I don't condone domestic violence....I really, really don't, but if he had punched that smug bitch in the face the tiniest, tiniest part of me would have been okay with it.

[smittykins]

Even if he were to call the cops to report his wife for vandalism, odds are that a female officer would respond and tell him, "You deserved it, buddy."*

*In Commercial Land, that is.

[RCharter]

Even if he were to call the cops to report his wife for vandalism, odds are that a female officer would respond and tell him, "You deserved it, buddy."*

*In Commercial Land, that is.

In commercial land he has to apologize to this yogurt eating shrew!

[Brattinella]

Oh, and I can't forget Prevailing Wind of the Ice Cream Skull!

[Prevailing Wind]

Thank you. I am honored.  So much so, I'll eat my ice cream straight out of the carton tonight. 

[Muffyn]

did this dude just have an orgasm over some disgusting Yoplait yogurt?

 

It must be his birthday if yogurt bitch is letting have some disgusting yoplait.

I'm not sure it's the yogurt that caused his excited outburst.  I think he needs to be put on the sex offenders registry.  Dude got all worked up because his wife and kids were making yummy noises (TM Young Frankenstein).  He could at least pound one out in another room.

 

As to the Snoop Dogg pistachio commercial, it might read correctly to people who are familiar with medical marijuana.  Otherwise it looks like he's popping pistachios like pills.  That's not quite the recreational drug use people joke about.  

[yourmomiseasy]

There should be, the guy found his detachable penis laying out at a garage sale....that can't be sanitary.

 

This really made me think.  I've never seen an ad for scented ball wash.  Do guys not have to worry about picking the right perfumed ball wash for night and day like us ladies and our gross stinky "V"s?  How are they going to feel confident enough to ask for raises or even just go grocery shopping if Axe doesn't get on this right away?  Especially if they are following that English bint's advice and going cah-mahn-doh.  Guys, your boss doesn't want to deal with your stinky schweaty balls while doling out your cost of living increase.

[cynicat]

For yourmomiseasy: Defunk your Junk

[Prevailing Wind]

Well, looks like I won't be having breakfast this morning.  My appetite's completely gone now.  Thanks, cynicat!

[TattleTeeny]

Isn't that what all women do? At least from every movie I've seen, it seems to be true...

;-)

Well, of course -- except for when we are sad and can't take it anymore, and feel the the need to slowly slide our backs down our shower walls, water at full blast, and sit down while cradling our foreheads.

 

"there's the clueless husband who looks like he would need instructions to pour piss out of a boot"

 

Now don't be crazy; he wouldn't even have to pour it out because his wife would breeze in with a knowing smile, a subtle shake of the head, and only the best of the best absorbent yet economical paper towels with which to soak up the boot-piss for him (with nary a question as to how it got in there in the first place), even as chaos ensues all around her.

Edited October 16, 2015 by TattleTeeny

[St. Claire]

I don’t use Twitter, so I didn’t think about tweets not being just between the person sending it and the person it’s being sent to – so everyone who follows the consumer of crappy pizza on Twitter will see the pizza emoji?

 

I think you have to first follow Domino's on Twitter to use the emoji ordering, so you probably order using a direct message. I can't swear to that, though, since I neither order pizza from Domino's (using any mechanism; I'm not much of a chain pizza kind of girl) nor do I tweet with emojis to much of anyone.

[Watcher0363]

did this dude just have an orgasm over some disgusting Yoplait yogurt?

 

It must be his birthday if yogurt bitch is letting have some disgusting yoplait.

His wife being who she is. He is happy all the empty containers will provide him with fresh fefe material.

[Jamoche]

I think you have to first follow Domino's on Twitter to use the emoji ordering, so you probably order using a direct message. I can't swear to that, though, since I neither order pizza from Domino's (using any mechanism; I'm not much of a chain pizza kind of girl) nor do I tweet with emojis to much of anyone.

That made me curious so I looked it up - you use #EASYORDER and yep, searching that hashtag gets a lot of hits on twitter.

[Brattinella]

"Perfumed Ball Wash".  BWAH!!

[Jamoche]

For yourmomiseasy: Defunk your Junk

 I demand equal ad time for men's personal issues! In the name of equality, and fairness, and because the ads would be hilarious.

[Rick Kitchen]

This really made me think.  I've never seen an ad for scented ball wash.  Do guys not have to worry about picking the right perfumed ball wash for night and day like us ladies and our gross stinky "V"s?  How are they going to feel confident enough to ask for raises or even just go grocery shopping if Axe doesn't get on this right away?  Especially if they are following that English bint's advice and going cah-mahn-doh.  Guys, your boss doesn't want to deal with your stinky schweaty balls while doling out your cost of living increase.

 

[Watcher0363]

I was not going to go there but now that the Axe commercial has been introduced, here we go. The problem with promoting male genital cleaning has more downside than up for most women. The only up side is that it could lessen the number of yeast infections. Not scientifically proven. However the down side would go something like this.

 

Guy: Remember that thing we saw that girl do in the porn video? Could you do that.

 

Woman: Well, you know I like you, but it is not very clean down there. At least not as clean as I like it.

 

Guy: That was before I bought the penis and scrotum luffa. With the apricot peach lavender scrub gel. So not only will it have a citrus flavor the lavender undertones will help you to relax. 

 

Woman: If you really think you will like it.
Inside she is letting out a Kirk like Kahn scream.

[RCharter]

I was not going to go there but now that the Axe commercial has been introduced, here we go. The problem with promoting male genital cleaning has more downside than up for most women. The only up side is that it could lessen the number of yeast infections. Not scientifically proven. However the down side would go something like this.

 

Guy: Remember that thing we saw that girl do in the porn video? Could you do that.

 

Woman: Well, you know I like you, but it is not very clean down there. At least not as clean as I like it.

 

Guy: That was before I bought the penis and scrotum luffa. With the apricot peach lavender scrub gel. So not only will it have a citrus flavor the lavender undertones will help you to relax. 

 

Woman: If you really think you will like it.

Inside she is letting out a Kirk like Kahn scream.

All she has to do is get down there and pretend to have fallen asleep from the relaxing lavender undertones.

 

And if he is asking for something that has only been seen on a freakier porn video there is just no way period I'm doing that no matter what the undertone of his cleaning product.

[riley702]

His wife being who she is. He is happy all the empty containers will provide him with fresh fefe material.

 

Oh, why did I look?

[Maverick]

"Perfumed Ball Wash". BWAH!!

The correct term is "Scented Testicle Gel" And FYI it comes in 4 scents: Musk, Ocean Breeze, Aged Leather and New Car Smell.

[Watcher0363]

Oh, why did I look?

Sorry dude or dudette. The internet is one of the few places where ignorance can bring continued bliss. And as always, curiosity did not kill the cat, it was ignorance. If he or she had known there would have been no need to investigate.

[RCharter]

The correct term is "Scented Testicle Gel" And FYI it comes in 4 scents: Musk, Ocean Breeze, Aged Leather and New Car Smell.

musky balls!

[peacheslatour]

What about Schweaty Balls?  I hear some people just can't get enough!

[yourmomiseasy]

Schweaty balls is the problem we're trying to solve.  I'm glad Axe has stepped up to the plate on this serious issue.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

What about Schweaty Balls?  I hear some people just can't get enough!

 

No, that's Chocolate Salty Balls.

[CarpeDiem54]

musky balls!

Or leathery balls!

[Ohwell]

After reading all this talk about balls, I clutched my pearls so tightly I almost strangled myself.  

 

Pass the salts, please.  *swoon*

[90PercentGravity]

What makes me stabby is her lack of enunciation. All I hear is "pizzamoji, pizzamoji, pizzamoji."

It's for Cox Gigablast and I'm so sick of that song and that smug kid who thinks he's somehow going to print 3D food.

The kid reminds me of Max from Parenthood, which makes me instantly detest him. I do like the one with the animated pig, though.

[Bastet]

After reading all this talk about balls, I clutched my pearls so tightly I almost strangled myself.

 

Autoerotic asphyxiation?

[Sandman87]

Arby's is still pissing me off with even more commercials bellowing BS at me about their sandwiches. Bad enough that I have to turn the volume down when commercials start, but now I have to do it again just for Arbys. It's like they want me to hate them forever.

 

The squid ink pasta I had (years ago, mind you) tasted kind of nutty, with a slight hint of bitterness, if I remember correctly.  Although that could've been the sauce it was dressed with.

I've wanted to try that for a few years now, ever since seeing it in a couple of anime shows. I've also heard that it's slightly salty.

 

TV commercials have made me hate the word bundle.

Same here. Unfortunately the word "package" has taken on other connotations that might not be appropriate.

 

Thank God, he has his wife to look out for him.  Otherwise, he would stare at a carton of orange juice to make it concentrated.

And he'd use a diaper to change a tire.

[90PercentGravity]

Since we're talking about cooter wash (or were),there is a Vagisil ad that talks about the pH balance of the vagina and then says to use their pre-biotic body wash... first, I need butt bacteria in my yogurt, now I need vag bacteria in my body wash? Also, if it is for my vag why is it a body wash? Does my whole body need vag bacteria? Does my elbow need the same ph as my vag?

[Muffyn]

The correct term is "Scented Testicle Gel" And FYI it comes in 4 scents: Musk, Ocean Breeze, Aged Leather and New Car Smell.

Now I am going to be looking at guys and wondering if they have aged leather balls.  I'm pretty sure I know some who do.

Edited October 17, 2015 by Muffyn

[peacheslatour]

Now I am going to be looking at guys and wondering if they have aged leather balls.  I'm pretty sure I know some who do.

Eeewwww!

 

/I hate football!

Edited October 17, 2015 by peacheslatour

[Sandman87]

Finally, there will be scented ball wash for my disgusting, unwashed man parts! And it will probably have clear directions on the container, so that the phrase "ball washing" need not be a shameful reminder of why I have been permanently banned from the golf course.

Now I just have to decide which of the forthcoming Old Spice ball wash scents I prefer; "Coconut Afterglow", "Brass Bollard", or "Rocky Mountain."

[Ohwell]

I usually go to Panera for breakfast but I had lunch there today.  There was a man, woman and child sitting across from  me and the woman was chomping down on her salad like a damn horse.  She was eating like she would never again see food.  The man looked at her a few times like he was embarrassed but she was oblivious and kept on chomping.  Reminded me of that Panera commercial where the woman is sitting next to the guy and she's chomping down on that salad. 

[friendperidot]

 

 

I do not get from that Summer's Eve ad that those women are planning to masturbate in the shower.

Well, it's special soap to just scrub your kootchiepop. And they need to use it to recover from their terrible day. Leads me to believe they're going to "relax" in the shower.

 

 I guess you've never lived with a teen aged boy. It's tough when there's only one bathroom.

 

And I think the baby cowboy stagger is hilarious, have seen it many times. But I grew up in ancient times, times of cloth diapers and rubber baby pants.

[janie jones]

Maybe it's because I find it impractical to masturbate in the shower.

[Brattinella]

I usually go to Panera for breakfast but I had lunch there today.  There was a man, woman and child sitting across from  me and the woman was chomping down on her salad like a damn horse.  She was eating like she would never again see food.  The man looked at her a few times like he was embarrassed but she was oblivious and kept on chomping.  Reminded me of that Panera commercial where the woman is sitting next to the guy and she's chomping down on that salad. 

She probably was chomping her salad because the man wouldn't let her have a GODDAMN SANDWICH! 

[SmithW6079]

I hate the commercial for Alexa (is it an Amazon product?), mostly because the guy's rude to Alexa. He asks her for news of Pluto, then interrupts her to ask another question. It's stupid, but it bothers me.