S04.E21: Where Are They Now? Chay and Pauline

[Muffyn]

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Pauline must find the will to keep losing weight after a medical emergency; Chay finally admits to himself (sic) about being a transgender woman, but the emotional stress threatens his (sic) weight loss journey.

Annotated since this should say "herself" and "her" or more generically "theirself" and "their."  

[Miss Ruth]

I never thought I'd say this, but I am so proud of Pauline. 

[Armchair Critic]

Lola? Sorry but I snickered at that (The Kinks song).

Edited May 19, 2016 by Armchair Critic

[Armchair Critic]

Have we heard Pauline's son talk before this? Oh dear.

[Noirprncess]

This episode needed to serve cheese and crackers to go with the large amount of whine.

 

This easily featured two of my least favorite cast members.  It took three tries to get through the entire episode.

[Barb23]

Poor Chay,  not realizing the rest of the world was already aware of his gender identity issues.  We had only seen him for an hour on his first episode & realized something was going on.  He really seem shocked that his friend admitted it wasn't a surprise. But now that he made his reveal, I hope it allows him to lose the weight more quickly.

Pauline, Pauline, don't you have another color of pants to wear?  I was getting tired of seeing those bright blue turquoise ones.  Maybe something in a dark or neutral color would draw less attention.  But I think you may like the attention.....

I know we keep saying this, but it is so weird how the fat deposits differently on people.  Pauline's legs were huge but her face & upper body were on the thinner side.  Not giving her a pass, but I'm sure the size of her legs had to play a part in limiting her walking at the beginning.

[Azubah]

Oookay. It's a long way from taking care of Grandma in a small house to singing in a drag show. I'm beginning to wonder about Lola. She seems kind of narcissistic.

Two hours was ridiculously long. How many times can we listen to "I'm worried about telling my conservative relatives that I'm transgender!" We got it the first time. The tenth time was just tedious.

I know this is kind of my hobbyhorse, but a lot of the women on this show seem to have lipedema. If Pauline has it, it would explain why she doesn't lose much weight in her legs and would also explain some of her pain. I get tired of Dr. Now being so dismissive of his patients' subjective experiences. And once he decides he doesn't like you, good luck getting decent treatment from him. 

Edited May 19, 2016 by Azubah
spelling

[ClareWalks]

For some reason my DVR didn't tape this last night, even though I am 1000% sure I set it to record. I double-checked multiple times. And TLC, the King of Reruns, isn't showing this again through next Tuesday (I didn't check farther). And it's not on the website. And I didn't find it on YouTube. Any ideas?

[Albino]

56 minutes ago, Azubah said:

Oookay. It's a long way from taking care of Grandma in a small house to singing in a drag show. I'm beginning to wonder about Lola. She seems kind of narcissistic.

Two hours was ridiculously long. How many times can we listen to "I'm worried about telling my conservative relatives that I'm transgender!" We got it the first time. The tenth time was just tedious.

 

Even Lola's mother (who is no saint herself) mentioned that she (Lola) really likes to be the center of attention.  I snickered when she entered the living room and made her "shocking" announcement to complete silence.  I wish her well but I really don't like her very much.

[Ocean Chick]

Color me shocked as well, but towards the end I was actually hoping that Pauline would pull it together and do well.  And she did.  I never thought I'd be able to like her after that first show, as she was just so awful.  But the ball finally dropped for her and she's making progress.  And she's one of the few who's talking about getting an actual JOB and supporting herself!  And taking steps towards doing that, with her volunteer job.  And I think it looked like Dylan had lost a bit of weight as well, and didn't look so defeated and depressed.  Nice.

And yes, Lola - most everyone in America who saw your first show knew you were trans, or some variation of that.  And your mom may not be trans, but she still looks an awful lot like a man.  The whole family dynamics was weird in that family.  I hope Lola finds some peace with herself and stops caring what other people think.  I hope she can continue to make progress now that she's dealing with her feelings.

[DixonVixen2359]

I could not believe I found myself rooting for Pauline! I was expecting her update to be similar to Penny's...(no visible progress/denial/delusion) but was pleasantly surprised. Good for her...hope she continues with her volunteer work and that her son is now free to go back to school. I wish them well.

[Meraji]

2 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

For some reason my DVR didn't tape this last night, even though I am 1000% sure I set it to record. I double-checked multiple times. And TLC, the King of Reruns, isn't showing this again through next Tuesday (I didn't check farther). And it's not on the website. And I didn't find it on YouTube. Any ideas?

I just checked and it looks like the supersized episode will be shown next Wednesday, 8-10:01.

[ClareWalks]

6 minutes ago, Meraji said:

I just checked and it looks like the supersized episode will be shown next Wednesday, 8-10:01.

Thanks! I ended up getting it on iTunes since it wasn't too expensive. Watching it now :)

[Cherrio]

Chay /Lola is a drama queen. I can understand her wanting to get on with her life and how important the transition is, but he/she never got a handle on the post surgery weight loss.   I don't think going thru two huge major life changes is possible in his/her case.  I think the drama queen ways will continue to be front and center.    Lola needs to grow up.  Get a job?    We as a country do not subsidize drug addicts, we should not support food addicts.

                Pauline has continued to use her son and that disgusts me. She still does not care about anyone but herself.   Sad thing is, I think Dillon is too far gone to have any kind of life. Someone should of stepped in when he was younger and removed him from the home.  He may of had a chance then. Dillon deserved the makeover, not Pauline.   He is a total slob which I think is a very true reflection of how little he cares about himself. Its sad. If she cared about him at all, she would of overdosed on grilled cheese sandwiches at Bingo and gone away for good.

[IvySpice]

Go Lola, go! I didn't love the intermittent effort/excuse making, but I thought it was great to see her buying dresses and doing her thing at long last. To my great surprise, she can actually sing. I have lots of friends who are queer divas; if that's who she is, let the freak flag fly in New Iberia! (And maybe move to New Orleans.)

I wanted to strangle Pauline through most of the episode, but the transformation with the haircut was worth waiting for. I actually didn't recognize her at first. Agree that poor defeated Dillon needs/deserves the help more than she does.

[AnnaBaptist]

Holy hell that was boring. Two hours of "I can't move because it hurts" from Pauline and "I haven't lost much weight because of my emotional issues with gender identity" from Chay/Lola does not compelling television make. I ended up liking Pauline more and Chay/Lola less than after their original episodes. I wish them well, but I don't particularly want to see them on my tv again.

[aliya]

Lola, trust me, no one was surprised.  You need to stop worrying about who likes you or will support you. You're always going to have issues with that; if you don't learn how to deal with it, you're going to continue to have emotional and food issues.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when Dr Now told Lola she looked nice. I don't think I've heard him say that to any of his patients. And, yeah, I thought she looked nice too. Especially for someone who wasn't on hormones yet (from what I gathered from the show). I kept seeing Ethel Merman.

I felt sorry for Dylan. He looked so big and sloppy and nothing. I hope he hangs on until Penny finishes her skin surgery (just 'cause a little help after surgery is nice) and then escapes to Alaska or someplace.

[cpcathy]

Still cannot stand Pauline. I think she's a horrible person who gets attention for whining and complaining and treats her son like a slave.

Dillon looked so very sad, I really feel awful for him. I hope he gets away soon.

I actually liked Chay--er, Lola, I thought she looked nice in her new dresses (although her foundation didn't match her skin!). I hope she can indeed move somewhere else and keep company with the drag queens, aren't they more like family than your actual, disapproving family members?

[fonfereksglen]

So - does Chay want to be a drag queen, a woman, or his morph into his grandmother?  I had to fast forward way too much to keep it all straight.  Seriously - Coca Cola Lola!  Not very original.  I agree with the narcissism comment above.  One more shot of him looking adoringly into a mirror and I was going to break the glass.  I saw a lot of play acting and contrived drama with the expectation of applause.  Sadly, I don't think he's really given much thought about the harsh realities of being a woman once/if he really transitions. Femininity has almost nothing to do wearing makeup and a dress. 

A 15 minute update on Pauline would have been an interesting surprise.  A full hour was way too much.

As an aside, I like the Intervention updates that they place in a newer episode. 60 seconds or so to see how they are doing is great. 

[Azubah]

2 minutes ago, fonfereksglen said:

Sadly, I don't think he's really given much thought about the harsh realities of being a woman once/if he really transitions.

Yeah, I said to the TV, "Dude, the only thing harder than being a fat guy is being a fat woman. You might want to rethink this."

[Hero]

4 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

For some reason my DVR didn't tape this last night, even though I am 1000% sure I set it to record. I double-checked multiple times. And TLC, the King of Reruns, isn't showing this again through next Tuesday (I didn't check farther). And it's not on the website. And I didn't find it on YouTube. Any ideas?

That happens to me, too! I record the episode a week before and it just diappears. It happened 3 times. I have Dish Network. 

[momofsquid]

I might be alone here but I liked this episode. Lola and Pauline are both interesting characters. I had plenty of opportunity to snark on them and yell at the TV when they were being delusional morons -- and then suddenly both of them were on the right track. I found it satisfying on all counts.

I really enjoyed this quote from Pauline: "I'm trying to be as determined as I can." I shall certainly borrow that in the future when I really want to pretend to try to to be determined to do something that I really but don't really want to do, and probably won't in the end.

[Dirtybubble]

Being from a small southern town myself I can sympathize with Lola/Chay about not only being gay but transgender.  It is still a huge step here in bible belt country.  And I am proud of him for living his life BUT having said that good grief 2 hours of I don't know how to tell my family blah blah was too friggin much!   Gah how many times did we have to be shown that it's difficult to come out to family.  

1 hour ago, fonfereksglen said:

So - does Chay want to be a drag queen, a woman, or his morph into his grandmother?

LMAO!  Yeah I was confused by his comment about him being proud to look like his granny.  What?  As far as drag queen goes by definition he is not a drag queen so I would guess he is simply trying new things, getting himself out in the LGBT community and see what he likes, see what feels right. 

Dr. Now is correct in saying that is a LOT of changes for his body to go thru so I worry how he will maintain a weight loss regiment.  What will the hormone injections and eventual surgery do to his metabolism and how is body processes/stores food etc.  Enh wish him luck either way.

[CarolMK]

I was wondering if this was something new where Dr. Now threatened to discharge Pauline from his practice. We saw it happen with the one woman a week or two ago (can't remember her name) but I don't recall in any previous season where this has happened. Is the show playing up the drama for the cameras or does Dr. Now reach this point with some of his patients and we've just never seen it before? 

[Muffyn]

6 hours ago, Azubah said:

I know this is kind of my hobbyhorse, but a lot of the women on this show seem to have lipedema. If Pauline has it, it would explain why she doesn't lose much weight in her legs and would also explain some of her pain. I get tired of Dr. Now being so dismissive of his patients' subjective experiences. And once he decides he doesn't like you, good luck getting decent treatment from him. 

He really varies in whether or not he accepts that people are in pain.  Pauline is pretty damn horrific, but did they ever send her to an orthopedist to look at her knees?  His contention that overuse of pain killers caused her ulcer was a big red flag to me.  The prescription meds she was asking for, which were more likely opiates, were less likely to cause an ulcer.  By refusing her stronger pain meds, she may have been taking huge quantities of aspirin or ibuprofen which can eat through your stomach lining.  If she is in extreme pain, he should refer her to other doctors who could look for the cause and to a pain clinic.  It always seems like Dr. Now wants to be the one in control of all of a person's medical treatment.  He is a specialist who needs to stop making it all about his patients pleasing him to "qualify" for being treated.    

6 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

For some reason my DVR didn't tape this last night, even though I am 1000% sure I set it to record. I double-checked multiple times. And TLC, the King of Reruns, isn't showing this again through next Tuesday (I didn't check farther). And it's not on the website. And I didn't find it on YouTube. Any ideas?

These episodes show up as My 600 Lb Life on my guide on Wednesday nights.  I can only see that it is actually a Where Are They Now episode when I look at the description.  It's all kind of a mess. 

5 minutes ago, CarolMK said:

I was wondering if this was something new where Dr. Now threatened to discharge Pauline from his practice. We saw it happen with the one woman a week or two ago (can't remember her name) but I don't recall in any previous season where this has happened. Is the show playing up the drama for the cameras or does Dr. Now reach this point with some of his patients and we've just never seen it before? 

While I am not a Dr. Now fan (see above rant) I do feel like this is being amped up for TV.  He says it like it's a threat rather than saying I don't think we can help you anymore.  Okay, maybe I spend a lot of time yelling FU at Dr. Now these days.

[islandgal140]

Didn't expect Pauline to have made so much progress. Both Marla and Pauline lost a significant amount of weight despite being difficult patients and failing to follow plan at first so does that mean that Penny continues to be the absolute worst? To this day, every time an intractable 600 lber goes at their own pace and says they can feel they are still losing weight going their own pace I always ask: but can they reach their vagina? Cause we all know that is the true test of weight loss. Damn the scale.

7 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Pauline, Pauline, don't you have another color of pants to wear?  I was getting tired of seeing those bright blue turquoise ones.  Maybe something in a dark or neutral color would draw less attention.  But I think you may like the attention.....

I kept thinking: Did Sears come out with a Homer Simpsons collection and no one tell me?

Can't lie when Chay's episode 1st aired I couldn't wait to hear someone use a pronoun so I knew what gender the subject of the episode was. Chay is kinda an ambiguous name. I think she would have done best to just keep it.

[MichelleTX]

1 hour ago, islandgal140 said:

 

Can't lie when Chay's episode 1st aired I couldn't wait to hear someone use a pronoun so I knew what gender the subject of the episode was. Chay is kinda an ambiguous name. I think she would have done best to just keep it.

That's what I thought too. She could have just used Lola as her stage name.

[aliya]

3 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

I kept thinking: Did Sears come out with a Homer Simpsons collection and no one tell me?

Can't lie when Chay's episode 1st aired I couldn't wait to hear someone use a pronoun so I knew what gender the subject of the episode was. Chay is kinda an ambiguous name. I think she would have done best to just keep it.

Someone's going to hell. Don't know who it is...   : )    See Pauline way back in a BBC show, with the blue pants starting around 12:46: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hitRUroOf0. 

 

Regarding Pauline's knees, I forgot all about that. My mother has lost all the cartilage in her knees and without shots several times a year, she would be in terrible pain and unable to walk.I realize Dr Now can have a short fuse sometimes, but did they ever x-ray her knees and determine the level of damage? And when she was in the hospital, was there no kind of intravenous pain killer that wouldn't affect her stomach? I realize she was big and that weight loss would help, but why not help with pain relief now so that she could walk more and get some exercise? 

I agree that Chay would have been a better name than Lola.

[gameshowjunkie]

Hooray for finally showing someone in the pool! Every time someone mentions knee pain I scream at my TV for them to start getting exercise in the water.

Chay coming out to her family was pretty hilarious. Sorry, Lola(really? of all names?)no one  was surprised. She was annoying me with the emotional thing - always an excuse. Not everyone is gonna support you. deal. I was glad she seemed to get it together in the end.

Yay to the saleslady for giving her a bra! We need more of those on this show for the men and women, My chest hurts just watching them sometimes.

Dr. Now giving a little start when he saw Lola dressed up and then saying "You look nice" cracked me up for some reason. She was very proportionally built, unlike Pauline. She didn't even look overweight to her waist, but those legs just looked painful. I can't believe she was in the hospital for four months. I wish for the best for her and her son - hopefully he's young enough to go to school, get a job, and live independently.

[Muffyn]

6 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

Didn't expect Pauline to have made so much progress. Both Marla and Pauline lost a significant amount of weight despite being difficult patients and failing to follow plan at first so does that mean that Penny continues to be the absolute worst? To this day, every time an intractable 600 lber goes at their own pace and says they can feel they are still losing weight going their own pace I always ask: but can they reach their vagina? Cause we all know that is the true test of weight loss. Damn the scale.

I can clean my own vagina!  Best success story ever! 

[Stripper Glitter]

My DVR cut off before I saw Pauline's finished makeover. Screen cap anyone? 

[Pepperminty]

8 hours ago, Azubah said:

Yeah, I said to the TV, "Dude, the only thing harder than being a fat guy is being a fat woman. You might want to rethink this."

Nailed it!

[Scorpiosunshine]

44 minutes ago, Stripper Glitter said:

My DVR cut off before I saw Pauline's finished makeover. Screen cap anyone? 

In watching now!  I'll take a pic of my tv screen when I get to that part.  I have about 30 minutes left. ;-) 

(I may be able to get an actual screen grab since the show is on my DVR. I'll try that first.) 

[Scorpiosunshine]

1 hour ago, Stripper Glitter said:

My DVR cut off before I saw Pauline's finished makeover. Screen cap anyone? 

Sorry to double post. Here's a pic of my tv. It's a little dark because I wanted to avoid any glare.

What a change! Wow! I don't think I would have recognized her, either! She's smiling too, lol. 

[Brooklynista]

Oh Lola. I thought of this video immediately. 

 

[new jersey devil]

Attention whore much, Tater?

Look, I'm fine that the guy wants to become a woman. But how many times did he have to mention that his aunt and uncle were very "conservative", and they "would not understand me"? So what? Their opinions are just as valid as this attention seeker. And great idea coming out to his mother and her girlfriend, and 2 gay cousins. Guess he did'nt want to face someone who might question his decisions. 

The whole episode was about the guys "LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT ME! mental state. I honestly think this guy has "gender dysphoria", with a good dose of narcissist on top. And who in the world "needs" become a woman that fast? I guess he had to show off to the millions who watch this show, right?

He made me sick.

[Guest]

When Chay said, "I want to be called 'Lola'" I screamed at the TV, "No! Pick another name!" Good grief, really? There was a point where she left the house to go shop and in the store her contouring make up looked like a clown face! She needs to spend more time with those gorgeous drag queens and learn how to blend that shit. Also aggravating: talking about getting on with her life by joining the theater group. That's great honey but you are gonna also need to get a J-O-B. Oh! And the ever-revolving line up of rental cars was distracting. I wonder how she gets around anywhere without transportation of her own? 

Still having a hard time thinking that her coming out to anyone in her family was any surprise. I wish her the best but I hope she can get her shit together. 

Poor Dillon. When Pauline said he could go out on his own for the day and he shlumped his way down the street like a lost puppy, a little piece of my heart broke.  Poor guy. His life is so grim.

[ClareWalks]

Lola's despondency over her aunt being unaccepting was weird to me. It looked like she was wholly prepared for them to be exactly the way they turned out to be. Why did she care so much? I don't know if I would call her a drama queen (I'd have to spend time with her personally to be able to tell) but she is certainly very driven by emotions. I was annoyed that every little thing that happens has to be this massive setback for her weight loss. Dr. Now said it best: everyone has shit going on in their lives, so don't act like your shit is so much more life-changing than anyone else's shit. (I am paraphrasing.)

[Aw my lahgs]

Was this episode an update on Lola's weight loss journey. Her struggles, victory, health and diet issues. How she looks and manages now and how she's working on her future OR was this 2 hours of Lola looking at herself in the mirror, Lola buying clothes, Lola applying make up, Lola being extremely preoccupied about how her extended family would react (why would that matter SO MUCH?) and overall Lola whining?

[Armchair Critic]

Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. ;)

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

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Oh! And the ever-revolving line up of rental cars was distracting. I wonder how she gets around anywhere without transportation of her own? 

I believe the little red truck she drove to her aunt and uncle's house is her personal vehicle. But, I bet she either drove or flew to Houston so the rental car was a better option when she went to the dr. However, unless that therapist is in TX I saw no need for a rental when she went there.

[gunderda]

I think it's normal for a gay or transgender person to worry that much about what their family thinks.  They are of course, your family. And Chay seemed very close to them.  Sadly Lola will not it appears.  So it will be a loss in her life.  

And I 2nd, 3rd, 4th the "really... Lola is the name you chose?"  no offense to any Lola's out there...  but it makes you realize that sometimes people shouldn't be allowed to choose their own name.

I also wonder how many transgender women are totally jealous that Lola has built in boobs already. At the very least if she ever loses the weight she'll likely just need a lift and implants.  If she doesn't lose the weight she's all set. And THANK GOD that salesperson gave her a good bra.  Makes me wonder if at first she was wearing her grandmas old bras... 

[Peanutbuttercup]

Lola should have done the "should we name our baby girl this" test -- ask yourself, does this sound more like a stripper or a Supreme Court justice's name? If the answer is stripper, keep looking.

Alternative test for boys: does this sound more like a meth dealer mentioned in the newspaper's Police Beat column, or a Supreme Court justice?

[ClareWalks]

9 minutes ago, Peanutbuttercup said:

Lola should have done the "should we name our baby girl this" test -- ask yourself, does this sound more like a stripper or a Supreme Court justice's name? If the answer is stripper, keep looking.

Alternative test for boys: does this sound more like a meth dealer mentioned in the newspaper's Police Beat column, or a Supreme Court justice?

These tests are not making my favorite baby names, Tawny Layne and Jaxxon Adolf, sound very good ;) (J/K OMG, NEVER.)

[LilWharveyGal]

I watched this ep last night and I'm so glad I wasn't the only one shaking my head at the name Lola!  Frankly, I thought it was already a cliche ten years ago when I saw Kinky Boots, but Chiwetel Ejiofor had the confidence and attitude to pull off that name that I don't quite see in Chay.

[IvySpice]

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Their opinions are just as valid as this attention seeker. 

I don't agree that their opinion to reject and emotionally abuse a close member of their family is "just as valid" as her choice to be open about who she is without telling anyone else what to do. They have a right to do it, but that's a mean, bigoted choice.

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I think it's normal for a gay or transgender person to worry that much about what their family thinks.  They are of course, your family. 

Right, and furthermore, Lola said that her mother was an abusive alcoholic, so the aunt and uncle were the only stable adults in her life and the closest thing she has to real parents. You'd have to be some kind of sociopath to experience rejection by your parents and just walk away without feeling lots of pain. Any person with a soul is going to get their heart broken over that. Yes, you should work to get over it, and no, it isn't an excuse to eat yourself to death, but it's an awful trauma.

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And THANK GOD that salesperson gave her a good bra. 

Amen! Lift those girls! She's just barely getting started on her transition, so it makes sense that's she's screwing up the makeup, bra, etc. like a little girl playing dress-up. It's her first experiments. But she definitely needs some mentors to show her the way.

[PradaKitty]

What I can't figure out is Lola is identifying as a woman, why she is appearing in a DRAG show.

[ClareWalks]

1 minute ago, PradaKitty said:

What I can't figure out is Lola is identifying as a woman, why she is appearing in a DRAG show.

A lot of trans women start out in the world of drag. There have been a few who have competed on RuPaul's Drag Race, too. It's a bit controversial in the transgender community.

[Guest]

But Lola wasn't in drag. She wasn't even bringing the fierce. Not that there's anything wrong with the way she dressed, but she stuck out for all the wrong reasons on that stage. 

[ClareWalks]

1 hour ago, Giant Misfit said:

But Lola wasn't in drag. She wasn't even bringing the fierce. Not that there's anything wrong with the way she dressed, but she stuck out for all the wrong reasons on that stage. 

Oh no, I totally agree, I was just answering the original question. She really seemed out of place. All the (other?) drag queens were over the top and fierce, as you said. She looked way too normal.