S03.E09: Making Memories

[Momof2boyz]

I'm not Jewish, so I have no clue if matzo and latkes are traditionally made from boxes, but sure. Let's do it how grandma used to, Sam.

I make mine from a box (although I make home made chicken soup to put the matzoh balls in) and my kids love them.  I would imagine someone's grandma might make home made though LOL.

[SFoster21]

My daughter, who is no one's grandma, makes latkes from scratch. And challah. And we're not Jewish. Just like the stuff. Some people like cooking.

[MsPH]

Never seen Ashley so talkative as when she was defending herself! She is only concerned with protecting her image and not coming off as the bad guy. She can say all kinds of syrupy nonsense to the camera, but once David's in hearing distance, she turns to stone. I guess she has such a high opinion of herself that she thinks David will fall in love if she says one nice thing to his face. I'm glad he said he was attracted to her at the wedding, but not so sure now. She is just infuriating.

 

David looks much better without gel in his hair! I wish he'd either shave that beard off or learn how to shave his cheeks in less of a weird pattern. Perhaps she'd see him in a new light too, if he tried something different.

 

Sam is so self-centered it's unreal! She says she wants Neil to open up, but whenever he does, she acts like she's not even listening. I'm sure she is, so it's like she's pretending not to listen, which is just bizarre. She has some serious issues. It's unbelievable that she thinks Neil has communication issues, when she can't even look at him when he talks! It doesn't exactly inspire people to open up when you're avoiding eye contact in any way you can.

 

She's also one of the least feminine women I've ever seen. Just so frumpy. If Neil's still attracted to her then she should be thanking her lucky stars!

 

Tres is really growing on me. He seems like a really warm and open person, though I'm still concerned that he's like that with too many people. He'll be a real catch in a few years. Right now, I sense some immaturity, but perhaps Vanessa will help him grow up.

 

I do like Vanessa, but her giggling is getting out of control now. It annoyed me so much when they were talking to his grandmother on the phone and she just couldn't utter half a sentence without giggling. Just get it together!

[cardigirl]

I still don't understand why no one will call Sam out on her outrageously bad behavior.  Ugh. She is the WORST!  And then all that is said is that they need to figure out how to better communicate?  How about Sam needs to learn how not to be a beotch?    #freeneil

[Pepper Mostly]

And she was like a feral animal, too. Head bent over the soup; soup dripping from her mouth. Sam has few social skills. I continue to be amazed that she holds a responsible job.

But you know, even though she said the right things in her talking heads, like she was glad Neil was sharing his memories with her and she felt closer to him as a result, her true feelings were right there on the screen as she hunkered down over the soup and shoveled it in -- she couldn't have cared less about Neil's story, she had absolutely no interest in what he said. That's why when he was finished, she launched right in to her own story. She was just waiting for Neil to be done. Slurp, drip, I was surprised she didn't let out a huge burp.

 

I was just about to post the same thing! She hunkers over her plate like someone is going to take her food away. And LOL on the burp observation. She really does act like a 12 year old boy a lot of the time. She expects Neil to be some sort of super masculine Neanderthal he-man, but she's about as feminine as a Mack truck. And yeah, somehow I don't think her sainted grandma made her famous matzo ball soup from a mix. Sam frustrates me because I think she can't help herself. She has some sort of hostility to authority or expectations or something--she simply CAN'T behave as she is expected to, she has to sabotage herself. She's like a preschooler acting up, testing, testing, to see how far she can go and if people will still love her if she's naughty. I don't doubt that she has good qualities. But she makes people work hard to get past her defenses and see what they are.

 

Ashley always looks like she's about to be dragged off to her execution. She bravely musters up these weak smiles and seems to think she is just so courageous and wonderful for putting up with David. Its as if she has completely forgotten that she signed up for this. I think she's worse than Sam in that respect.

[Lion18]

Oh, I hate that too. Sam is always wear that black and white vertical striped top and David wears that gold shirt.

. I noticed David always wearing that light blue button down shirt

[Vivigirl10]

Boring.  I was kind of at least still rooting for David, but I'm giving him the side eye now.  In the knees to knees exercise, once again he goes on all glowingly about the Robot.  How she's taken the time to listen and learn his story.  David, really???  It just makes you lose all respect for the guy.  Get up and walk out.  It seriously makes me wonder if she said that she'd stay with him, but would continue acting just as she is, that he would gladly keep on keeping on.  This is a bad look for David.  He's so in love with the idea of being in love, that it doesn't even matter who it is.  

 

I dated a guy like that once and it drove me insane.  He was so "in love" and yet I knew he honestly didn't know a single thing about me.  I finally asked him to tell me, with specifics, what he liked about me?  He gave some generic response that could be applied to absolutely anyone.  It was done....he so just wanted to be with someone, it made no difference whether it was me or the next girl. Those guys are the worst.  David is one of those guys.  

[Primetimer]

The Married At First Sight couples 'make memories' together by eating, drinking, and bickering (...so much bickering). Who fared the best and worst this week?

Read the story

[Empress1]

My daughter, who is no one's grandma, makes latkes from scratch. And challah. And we're not Jewish. Just like the stuff. Some people like cooking.

I make latkes from scratch and I'm not Jewish. They're good! In Sam's defense (I know!), if Neil has never made latkes before, making them from a box might make sense. We don't know what his cooking level is. But her making matzoh ball soup from a box struck me as really weird, not least becuase I didn't even know such a thing existed.

 

I, too, noticed that Sam was messily slurping soup and looking straight ahead, not at Neil, when he was talking about his childhood. I was thinking "You could at least LOOK at him when he's talking, Jesus." I'll give her this: she doesn't seem concerned about how she looks on camera at all. She shows up however she feels like it. Uncombed hair, no makeup, shoveling food into her maw, those leopard-print shorts ...

 

Actually, I kind of amend that statement because she's very different around the experts. So I guess she cares how she comes across to them.

 

I'm glad David was so blunt, particularly when he asked if she was just planning to wind down the clock. That shows he's at least considered that possibility. (And she totally is. And if the preview for next week is accurate and he did ask someone out, she'll LOVE it because it gives her an out and allows her to be the victim.) And I agree that Ashley has never been so passionate as when she's defending herself. I think she cares VERY much about how she comes across on TV and was fighting tooth and nail not to look like the bad guy. (Side note: I did notice her mustache this week. She's pretty and it's nothing a little wax won't fix, but yeah, she needs to address that.)

 

I fell out laughing when Tres sprinkled those Doritos on the plate. It's such a 20something bachelor thing to do.

[Gigi43]

I love stocking up on the boxes of potato pancakes when Jewish Holidays are upon us and they're on sale because I love them as a snack or side like french fries. I'm not Jewish. Making them from a box is basically as hard as making pancakes from a box, just with making sure they're ready to be flipped in really hot oil. If I were trying to show someone Lasagna like my family makes, I wouldn't use the pre-cooked noodles and take out frozen homemade sauce from my freezer and perhaps even (gasp) add a jar to said frozen sauce like I have done when I feel like half assing it, if the goal was to show someone how 'the family/culture' does it. WTF, Sam? I also took notice they did it during a weeknight, where immediately that leaves less time for doing things old school. Why not do it on a weekend and really give it proper time? At one point there was a shot of Sam resting her hand on the plate of Matzoh's when they were sitting at the table to eat and that drove me crazy, I don't want anyones hand resting on something I might want to eat! Then there was the slurping the soup as Neil was talking. Ew. 

 

Tres and Vanessa--- Okay, my mind went to penis too when I saw Vanessa's outline. I mean, obviously I knew she wouldn't be painting that but still. They are a great example of a big problem with this show, though. They seem like a decent couple, but, it's pretty speculated that if they divorce after the 6 weeks there's a prenup and the show takes care of it. If they stay, they'll be on their own in the future. Now, Tres and Vanessa may like each other but all the problems that are there have to be amplified in their minds as reasons they should sever that legal connection, but, they would both have to be in agreement together if they would decide to divorce, but still try to date because if one person brings up such a thing, you run a big risk of offending the other, "so you don't see a future for us long term, what's the point?". Especially if it's Tres who suggests it to Vanessa, she's going to say see, men want to leave, but Tres may just be looking to be smart not emotional at that very point about it. But once again, they're the only ones who really seem to be trying and liking each other. I'm not so sure Tres was telling the truth about praying (which, my relationship with religion fluxes but I do have a belief set that you should not never lie about about praying!) but if Tres is watching the show I'd believe he's thanking God he got to spend those 6weeks with Vanessa seeing the alternatives!

 

The David/Ashley scene on the couch was a bit weird in terms of there were times where it seemed like they were trying to edit interview sounds over Ashley's silence like they were trying to pull a fast one making her think she was saying it on the couch. I'm going to just say what my mother -married almost 38yrs- said about her "she's not mean, she's not rude like Sam, she's not happy... just EMPTY! How can he like emptiness?! My God."

Edited January 27, 2016 by Gigi43

[MsPH]

Sam frustrates me because I think she can't help herself. She has some sort of hostility to authority or expectations or something--she simply CAN'T behave as she is expected to, she has to sabotage herself. She's like a preschooler acting up, testing, testing, to see how far she can go and if people will still love her if she's naughty. I don't doubt that she has good qualities. But she makes people work hard to get past her defenses and see what they are.

 

Wow, you hit the nail on the head with that description! I think she's stuck on this immature mindset where being and acting like other people is stupid and doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing is "real". I think that's what she means when she calls Neil's behaviour fake. He is a polite civilised person, which most people would love, but to Sam that makes him a sheep following the herd, and she despises sheep. I hope she one day wakes up and realises that she is not some uniquely real snowflake, she's just a brat.

[Snarklepuss]

I was just about to post the same thing! She hunkers over her plate like someone is going to take her food away. And LOL on the burp observation. She really does act like a 12 year old boy a lot of the time. She expects Neil to be some sort of super masculine Neanderthal he-man, but she's about as feminine as a Mack truck.

 

ITA, plus she always has this look on her face like she just smelled poo.

 Sam frustrates me because I think she can't help herself. She has some sort of hostility to authority or expectations or something--she simply CAN'T behave as she is expected to, she has to sabotage herself. She's like a preschooler acting up, testing, testing, to see how far she can go and if people will still love her if she's naughty. I don't doubt that she has good qualities. But she makes people work hard to get past her defenses and see what they are.

 

Excellent observation - I have to wonder if her parents tolerated that behavior or even thought it was cute, which never broke her of the bad habit.  It's just really immature in someone her age!

[Neurochick]

It's only a matter of time before Vanessa screws her marriage up too. She's too insecure & for some reason, she just doesn't seem to really trust Tres. He's never given her a reason not to, he's a great guy too, as far as I can tell. (I wish there were more guys like Neil, David, & Tres, especially around where I live!)

 

 

 

I get Vanessa.  The reality is that there are fewer black men doing well than black women; black men have too many options, while black women have too few.  Vanessa probably wonders when Tres will find an excuse to leave her to "sample the fruit" or something.  Vanessa also has very rigid standards as to how a husband is supposed to behave, and I think her standards are more based in fantasy than reality.

 

I'm now middle aged, and over the years one of the most important life-lessons I've learned is how little feeling instant physical/sexual attraction for someone predicts the possibility of a successful, long-term relationship. It just doesn't. As a matter of fact, I believe it often prevents us from learning those things about a person that determine whether we truly are compatible on a deeper level. Yet many young people today base whether they want to pursue a relationship solely on whether they feel that physical/sexual attraction with someone when they first meet. It's interesting that among my contemporaries (those that I still remain in contact with from when I was a teenager) that have that mindset are still single. If they don't feel some level of chemistry with someone right off the bat, they dismiss them and move on.

 

The thing with instant physical attraction is that you can become blinded by it.  If you think someone's hot, you might overlook important red flags that you'd immediately see if you weren't attracted.  So if you get married to someone because you're hot for them, well that's a coin toss, it might work, it might not.

 

Here's a funny example from not real life:  I watch a TV show that is now in its third season.  In the first two seasons, there was a character I could not stand, even though the actor playing him was good looking; the character was a annoying douchebag IMO.  So to me he wasn't hot, though a lot of women I know thought he was.  At the end of the second season, something major happened to this character that humbled him, so guess what?  Suddenly, in the third season, I find him hot.  Why?  Because he's not an annoying douchebag anymore.  The point is, the person didn't change, but their actions did.  The way someone acts is more of a turn on/turn off than the way a person looks.  In other words, if you're neutral from the beginning, "I'm not turned on, but let's see how they act," you stand a better chance than if you're completely turned off, the way Ashley was. 

 

David was 100% right, she's waiting for that clock to run out.  She has no interest in him and never will.

 

Sam frustrates me because I think she can't help herself. She has some sort of hostility to authority or expectations or something--she simply CAN'T behave as she is expected to, she has to sabotage herself. She's like a preschooler acting up, testing, testing, to see how far she can go and if people will still love her if she's naughty. I don't doubt that she has good qualities. But she makes people work hard to get past her defenses and see what they are

 

 

What Sam doesn't get is that you can be your unique self and be courteous and kind to other people.  Sam is like a person who thinks being courteous to someone you don't like is being "fake."  She probably thinks common courtesy is fake too.  

Edited January 27, 2016 by Neurochick

[Snarklepuss]

I think one big reason Ashley didn't level with David is that she would have to acknowledge that there was absolutely NO chance of her EVER finding him attractive, because that's how she probably really feels and STILL won't admit.  Cilona only got her to admit that she wasn't attracted to David YET, but not that there was no chance at all, which is what I think the real truth is.  And I think she might have been afraid that if she fessed up to that David would call the whole thing quits and she wouldn't be able to live in the nice house and be on TV anymore.  I don't think she wants to give that up.  I think the real explanation for her behavior since being disappointed in David and closing herself off to him completely is as selfish and immature as that.  I even wonder if she thought she could drag this "indecision" out past the 6 week mark to make sure she would be featured in the 6 month update show.  The only thing is, I think David is on to her and no way in a million years even if she said she wanted to take it past 6 weeks would he believe her now!  So I think there would be a good chance that unless she fesses up to the real truth, David would be the one to back out at the 6 week mark.

[Booger666]

I seriously wonder when Sam's THs were shot. She is dead in the eyes and monotone as she repeats how committed she is to the process and marriage. It's almost like they were shot after the 6 wks and she knew it was over, but production decided there wasn't enough footage.

Kudos to those speculating Sam and Neil weren't living together at the "old" house. When she said this was her first time cooking for Neil I thought hmmmm, you would've made at least one meal for your roomate in that amount of time so I call BS.

Will the "experts" finally admit their experiment is a failure given Sam said she was indifferent to her marriage weeks ago and Ashley flat out refuses to answer if she's just watching the clock wind down?

David's blue shirt: I agree we see it too much, but it does make his eyes pop. He has very pretty eyes.

Question for anyone who might know: Is it pronounced latKAHs or latKEYs? Wondering if it is like toMAYto or toMAHto or if Sam was right when she corrected Neil to say latKAH. I've heard it pronounced latKEY more than latKAH. Could it be regional? Either way, I love 'em!!

Edited January 27, 2016 by Booger666

[BunnySlippers]

Last week, I tried to be fair and give Ashley the benefit of the doubt, but now, I don't have any sympathy left for her. None whatsoever. As abrasive as Sam is, I think Ashley is even worse. I can't believe she couldn't come up with 3 simple, positive things to say about David. How about, he has a good sense of humor, he makes her laugh, he's kind. Done! No, she had to make even that about HER. "Uh, umm... It's so haaaaarrrrd!" Like he was supposed to feel sorry for her because it's so hard to say something nice about someone she's been living with for 4 weeks. Unbelievable. And even after that, when she was supposed to write down something, she wrote one line, and again, it was all about her. She's a selfish, self-centered, spoiled brat. I'm glad that David is finally starting to stand up for himself.

 

Which is something I can't say about Neil. He was right for not being happy with Sam for not taking that exercise seriously and making faces, but why did he not say anything to her about it? He did try to imply it with his tone, but with someone like Sam, you have to come straight out and say it right then when you don't like her behavior. Subtle hints are lost on her. She's so wrapped up in her own awesomeness that she can't imagine she's doing anything wrong. You have to hit her on the head with it. Argh. What a lost opportunity, too. I don't find Neil physically attractive, but the way he looked at her during that exercise - I thought it was quite sexy.

 

I think Vanessa and Tres are cute, and it's nice to see at least one happy couple, but I agree with others that she giggles way too much and she's too critical. I'm afraid she's going to screw this up because of her high expectations and constant fear of Tres not being good enough for her. The preview indicated some trouble along those lines in the next episode.

 

So David and Ashley went to the park. My first thought was, "OMG, she's actually in public with him again?!" My second thought was, "Aw, how cute, she's actually trying to be a good sport." Third Thought, "Probably just out there hoping his dark-haired friend would show up."

Vanessa and Tres seem to be pleased so far, but Tres looked a little annoyed how she kept giggling over his simple taco recipe. Her giggling through everything (on camera) got old quick, and now giggling as a put down on your hubby's first proud meal--borderline not cool at all.

 

LOL, good point about Ashley. And I totally agree about Vanessa putting down her husband's efforts at preparing dinner. That was not cool.

 

 

David looks much better without gel in his hair! I wish he'd either shave that beard off or learn how to shave his cheeks in less of a weird pattern. Perhaps she'd see him in a new light too, if he tried something different.

 

I agree! He looked much better when his hair was a little messy. In that 2 year old picture of him someone posted in one of the threads here, he looked quite good without the beard, but he seemed a little thinner then. I wonder if he grew the beard to try to make his face less round, and I wonder how he'd look without it.

[Vinyasa]

 

David looks much better without gel in his hair! I wish he'd either shave that beard off or learn how to shave his cheeks in less of a weird pattern

Oh absolutely. The beard is weird since doesn't fill in on the cheeks. 

 

Remember the beard that Neil had before they made him get rid of it?  Why didn't they spend some time to make David look better? He's not a bad looking guy but he isn't helping himself to look better and he could.

 

He would look much better if the beard was like Doug's beard (from Season 1).

Edited January 27, 2016 by Vinyasa

[PityFree]

I just have to add that I loved Tres's salad. It looked yummy to me - despite the doritos or maybe because of the doritos. (I may have to make a taco salad for dinner tonight.) If you wanted to make that less "bachelor food"-like, you could substitute in better corn chips. Maybe some blue corn chips or nice restaurant style white corn chips, etc. I don't enjoy cooking at all, so a guy who cooks anything (with enthusiasm!) is a winner in my book. I didn't like how Vanessa criticized the recipe in front of him - that was ungrateful and mean.

Edited January 27, 2016 by PityFree

[tinypeanut]

There seems to be something off to me about Ashley.  I know everyone thinks she is being hard on David but I wonder if there could be other issues at play?  She had a brain tumor removed from her forehead when she was a baby so could that have affected her cognitive abilities?  She seems completely vacant at times.    Maybe when it comes to emotions she is emotionally stunted and that is why she cannot pull from within and answer the most simple questions.   Her twin brother was born with disabilities. 

[Vinyasa]

I didn't like how Vanessa criticized the recipe in front of him - that was ungrateful and mean.

 

I bet the producers had something to with it.

[Waterlilly]

Tinypeanut your post explained Ashley's mother's protective behavior to me. Not taking up for her because I don't agree with anything about Ashley being on this show.

[Momof2boyz]

Question for anyone who might know: Is it pronounced latKAHs or latKEYs? Wondering if it is like toMAYto or toMAHto or if Sam was right when she corrected Neil to say latKAH. I've heard it pronounced latKEY more than latKAH. Could it be regional? Either way, I love 'em!!

Latkah

[rab01]

Question for anyone who might know: Is it pronounced latKAHs or latKEYs? Wondering if it is like toMAYto or toMAHto or if Sam was right when she corrected Neil to say latKAH. I've heard it pronounced latKEY more than latKAH. Could it be regional? Either way, I love 'em!!

It's pronounced latKAH by most Jews, not latKEY. Although I'd say the second syllable is a little softer, closer to latKUH.  Since it's spelled like it should be latKEY, that pronunciation is pretty common (Though since I went to a religious school, I can't remember hearing it that way very often.)  

 

Vanessa certainly shouldn't criticize Tres' cooking. That's OUR job.  Just like we are currently doing with Sam.  (In defense of her grandmother, my own grandma was a great cook but made latkes from a box, rather than scratch. The two end up being very different and to this day I prefer the box version.)

 

ETA - tl, dr - what momof2boyz said ;)

Edited January 27, 2016 by rab01

[Palomar]

I think the reason that Ashley wouldn't say any nice things about David is she is afraid that would encourage him again and he might actually touch her. OMG!  She shows more affection for David's friends and any strangers she encounters than him.  I sure hope the experts call her out on the giving 100% BS she is spouting.  I don't even mean sex...she can't even give him a hug when he does something nice or they share a moment? 

 

Sam is just strange period.  Unless she acts different without the cameras, she has so many red flags you could see her coming a mile away. No wonder her parents are hoping this works.

 

Free David and Neil.  They deserve better even though their egos are probably bruised by the experience. There is only so much trying you can do. Casting fail.

 

Definitely rooting for Vanessa and Tres.  They make a cute couple.  Hope it isn't too good to be true.

[SaucyMommy]

Every time I watched Ashley in this episode all I saw was a woman totally and completely checked out. I don't know why she ever signed up for this show. Anyone giving David slack for his reaction - needs to check themselves. Seriously the guy has put up with a ton and if he even stays until the end he is a saint. She can't even come up with 1 nice thing to say about him. I'm sorry about that's just awful. Also, I know I saw someone mention this - but cooking out of a box isn't really cooking. I guess for Sam it's an accomplishment. I was so elated to see Neil tell his friend he wasn't really attracted to her. Thank goodness he has a brain and a mind. I was so annoyed at her for making silly faces at him. It's rude of her to not take an exercise seriously. I really dislike both Ashley and Sam. I would be ok with both the guys splitting at the end.

[IvySpice]

 

The clincher for me was when she began making funny faces at Neil during the intimacy exercise.

That hypocrite! Who remembers when she threw Neil out of the house and said she can't be around someone who's making jokes when she's trying to have a serious talk? Right here, Sam, I remember. And now you're pulling faces like a six-year-old during an intimacy exercise that Neil was really trying to execute. You're completely full of shit.

 

Never mind the fact that she made instant latkes from a BOX and called that Jewish cooking! Here's how easy it is to make real ones: my mother came to my Montessori kindergarten class and had all the children grate potatoes and mix them up, and she fried them in an electric skillet. So I've seen a bunch of non-Jewish five-year-olds do it just fine. If you have a food processor or a mandoline, it takes about five minutes. The hard part is dealing with/cleaning up the hot oil, and that's no easier with the mix.

 

We called them lat-keys at my grandma's house, but I've since learned that that's a non-standard pronunciation. She called challah chall-ey, too. Maybe that was just her baby talk.

[Drogo]

She's like a preschooler acting up, testing, testing, to see how far she can go and if people will still love her if she's naughty.

 

Is that a black bow barrette in Sam's hair while she's eating her boxed soup? 

 

(You're probably wondering how I know the word barrette.  Because when my daughter got to first grade she said "I'm too big now to be wearing a barrette.")

[crazychicken]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU1mIyq6wFE

 

WTH Sam thought the exercise went well and bought them together as she didn't feel strange doing it and she thought Neil feels the same way. I felt strange watching it, it was like watching a 2 year old try to be serious.

[Neurochick]

There seems to be something off to me about Ashley.  I know everyone thinks she is being hard on David but I wonder if there could be other issues at play?  She had a brain tumor removed from her forehead when she was a baby so could that have affected her cognitive abilities?  She seems completely vacant at times.    Maybe when it comes to emotions she is emotionally stunted and that is why she cannot pull from within and answer the most simple questions.   Her twin brother was born with disabilities. 

 

If that is true would she have been able to go to school, to graduate school?  Why is she able to articulate so well in her talking heads?  And why in the world did she come on the show?  

[seasick]

There seems to be something off to me about Ashley.  I know everyone thinks she is being hard on David but I wonder if there could be other issues at play?  She had a brain tumor removed from her forehead when she was a baby so could that have affected her cognitive abilities?  She seems completely vacant at times.    Maybe when it comes to emotions she is emotionally stunted and that is why she cannot pull from within and answer the most simple questions.   Her twin brother was born with disabilities. 

I was thinking the exact same thing!!     Her responses are so odd--so strange and shocking even, that after this episode I had to rethink my take on her.  I do believe what is going on with her is physiological and that her brain is wired differently.   Something is not right.   The brain is a complicated thing.  She may think well but connections between thoughts and feelings escape her.   

[Palomar]

There seems to be something off to me about Ashley.

 

 

I think it is just as she was walking down the aisle she expected this handsome prince to be at the alter and it was regular guy David.  She wanted to run but felt she couldn't and she has just been checked out ever since and going through the motions during her 6 week imprisonment.

Edited January 27, 2016 by Palomar

[Soup333]

Sam is so self-centered it's unreal! She says she wants Neil to open up, but whenever he does, she acts like she's not even listening. I'm sure she is, so it's like she's pretending not to listen, which is just bizarre. She has some serious issues. It's unbelievable that she thinks Neil has communication issues, when she can't even look at him when he talks! It doesn't exactly inspire people to open up when you're avoiding eye contact in any way you can.

 

She's also one of the least feminine women I've ever seen. Just so frumpy. If Neil's still attracted to her then she should be thanking her lucky stars!

 

I do like Vanessa, but her giggling is getting out of control now. It annoyed me so much when they were talking to his grandmother on the phone and she just couldn't utter half a sentence without giggling. Just get it together!

 

I don't think Neil is attracted to her at all. What he said was (after a pause) that she made a beautiful bride. I think the way she has treated him and the way she carries herself has turned him off. Neil is a lab compliance specialist - he's used to cleanliness. That girl is a sloppy, unkempt mess. Slurping that soup like a pig at the trough couldn't have helped. She's disgusting. And the way she micromanaged him making the latkes gives me a hint as to what kind of bank manager she is. "So you just follow those directions on the box."  Who needs to be told that? 

 

I wonder if Vanessa's giggling is something she's always done when she's nervous or something she started doing after her father left. I think she'd probably do it less if the cameras weren't there/she was more comfortable in her marriage. She's so skittish and continuously watching for red flags about Tres' behavior. I'm worried that she's going to fuck this up for herself.

 

When Ashley and David were sitting on the couch doing the exercise, her face was so blank I was wondering if he'd forgotten to flip her on switch.

[butterflyeludesme]

Sandy Springs is a nice area.  I think they may have thrown in that "transfer and traffic" situation to mollify the owner/landlord.  That seems so fake but I am getting addicted to this show because I really like Tres and Vanessa and hope it works out well for them.  As for David and Ashley, he deserves more respect.  

 

There is absolutely no way they moved out because of traffic. She worked at a bank in Sandy Springs and got her new job at a branch in Dunwoody. For those of you who aren't familiar with the area...those two cities are literally right next to each other. I can drive from my house in Sandy Springs and be in Dunwoody in less than two minutes. 

 

Also, they complained that the house was "old" that's what you get in that area! It's an older neighborhood where building really skyrocketed in the 60's and 70's. I also guarantee that her townhouse is older(albeit renovated) and in the same area...probably 5 minutes from their "old" house. Which further cements my opinion that they never even lived in the house at all. 

 

While I'm on the topic of them complaining about location...Tres and Vanessa's argument about Midtown vs. Buckhead bothered me as well. There was no way that his commute would have been that drastically different if he moved to Midtown. 

[tinypeanut]

If that is true would she have been able to go to school, to graduate school?  Why is she able to articulate so well in her talking heads?  And why in the world did she come on the show?  

Whether you are born with cognitive brain disorder or the results of a surgical procedure it can affect emotions without affecting intellect.  You are correct if this is her problem.  Why did she come on this show?

[BunnySlippers]

Every time I watched Ashley in this episode all I saw was a woman totally and completely checked out. I don't know why she ever signed up for this show. Anyone giving David slack for his reaction - needs to check themselves. Seriously the guy has put up with a ton and if he even stays until the end he is a saint. She can't even come up with 1 nice thing to say about him. I'm sorry about that's just awful. Also, I know I saw someone mention this - but cooking out of a box isn't really cooking. I guess for Sam it's an accomplishment. I was so elated to see Neil tell his friend he wasn't really attracted to her. Thank goodness he has a brain and a mind. I was so annoyed at her for making silly faces at him. It's rude of her to not take an exercise seriously. I really dislike both Ashley and Sam. I would be ok with both the guys splitting at the end.

 

Yes, I was glad about Neil telling his friend he wasn't attracted to Sam. I bet Sam thinks he finds her cute and irresistible. I wonder how she'd react if she knew the truth.

 

That hypocrite! Who remembers when she threw Neil out of the house and said she can't be around someone who's making jokes when she's trying to have a serious talk? Right here, Sam, I remember. And now you're pulling faces like a six-year-old during an intimacy exercise that Neil was really trying to execute. You're completely full of shit.

 

 

Yes, that's a great point. She is a hypocrite. Her standards for herself and for Neil are very different.

[Gigi43]

There seems to be something off to me about Ashley.  I know everyone thinks she is being hard on David but I wonder if there could be other issues at play?  She had a brain tumor removed from her forehead when she was a baby so could that have affected her cognitive abilities?  She seems completely vacant at times.    Maybe when it comes to emotions she is emotionally stunted and that is why she cannot pull from within and answer the most simple questions.   Her twin brother was born with disabilities. 

 

I don't see it, personally. I am someone with a disability and until Highschool my parents sent me to a school with just other kids with disabilities so I have friends to this day with all kinds of conditions. I know people who are just not very personable who are nurses (and hell, Kate Gosselin was one before she turned having kids into a paycheck), but none of my friends with cognitive issues would make it in nursing school and they know it. Ashley wasn't as stunted with David's friends, and as David pointed out this episode, she told Dr. C more than she's told David. You can't switch cognitive issues on and off. You can, however, shut down if you find someone completely unappealing. If Ashley were off cognitively I would think it would have to be brought up at some point in time if for no other reason than to give Ashley sympathy... because I don't see it going completely unaddressed even to her throughout her life.

Edited January 27, 2016 by Gigi43

[grumpypanda]

I don't think Neil is attracted to Sam but he's too polite to say it on camera. He might have found her vaguely attractive when he first saw her but her personality is so off putting that there's no way he's attracted to her now.

It's funny because Sam has been insisting that she doesn't feel any sexual chemistry with Neil yet in the past episodes she's been throwing out some subtle and so not so subtle hints that she wants him to make a move. Maybe it's just me but I don't throw my crotch in the face of a man I find repulsive. I also don't lift my shirt up and start rubbing my belly in front of him either.

She says she wants him to be more aggressive and I'm starting to wonder if she means sexually (she also bat shit crazy so who knows.)

[Snarklepuss]

I don't think there's anything wrong with Ashley other than being unable to handle her own feelings let alone someone else's.  I think the pressure she feels she is under with everyone's expectations of her in the situation is crippling her.  I am sure her parents, friends, herself, the experts, David, even the public's expectations are making her completely shut down to feeling anything at this point.  I think it's a defense mechanism.  That's why she seems so "Bride of Spock" at this point.  She is too immature to handle all of that pressure and didn't bargain for it.  She thought she was going to fall for the guy like "The Bachelor" and not be in that situation.  But she should have been realistic enough to know she could have been paired with a Mr. Average and not be gaga over him, and know how she might react to that.

 

Also, Ashley may actually be a "highly sensitive" type - Which just means everything affects her more, it doesn't make her particularly empathic or anything.  A lot of introverts, including myself, can have elements of that syndrome.  BUT, and that's a big BUT - When someone is mature enough they know how to push past that to think about someone else instead of themselves for a change.  She is just too immature and self-centered to do that, IMO.

[DangerousMinds]

Boring.  I was kind of at least still rooting for David, but I'm giving him the side eye now.  In the knees to knees exercise, once again he goes on all glowingly about the Robot.  How she's taken the time to listen and learn his story.  David, really???  It just makes you lose all respect for the guy.  Get up and walk out.  It seriously makes me wonder if she said that she'd stay with him, but would continue acting just as she is, that he would gladly keep on keeping on.  This is a bad look for David.  He's so in love with the idea of being in love, that it doesn't even matter who it is.  

 

I dated a guy like that once and it drove me insane.  He was so "in love" and yet I knew he honestly didn't know a single thing about me.  I finally asked him to tell me, with specifics, what he liked about me?  He gave some generic response that could be applied to absolutely anyone.  It was done....he so just wanted to be with someone, it made no difference whether it was me or the next girl. Those guys are the worst.  David is one of those guys.  

I know what you mean, but these two are already MARRIED. Making the decision to choose the other person and try to love them every day is a big part of making it work, IMO. 

[Soup333]

Ashley hasn't had her emotion chip installed yet. 

[psychoticstate]

Kudos to those speculating Sam and Neil weren't living together at the "old" house. When she said this was her first time cooking for Neil I thought hmmmm, you would've made at least one meal for your roomate in that amount of time so I call BS.

 

 

True.  I also noticed during the episode when they were packing up the "old" house, Neil asked Sam what time she normally got home.  Wouldn't he know that by now if they were living together?

 

I think David is harping on the attractiveness issue too much. He needs to let that part go. That's just his ego coming out.

 

 

I think it's understandable when it seems to be all that Ashley is harping on.   She didn't tell David or Cilona that David is a really kind, thoughtful person and she genuinely likes him.  She said she's not attracted to him, period.  I don't think it's David's ego, I think he's realizing that no matter how kind or genuine he is, she is only interested in physical appearance and she's not finding him physically attractive and is not interested in giving him a chance.

 

I'd love to know why the so-called experts are being so easy on Sam and Ashley. No mention in the therapy sessions of Sam refusing to give Neil a key or give him an inch of her precious closet space? Or of Ashley's complete and total narcissism in her approach to marriage? I swear I lost count of all the "me, me, me" and "I, I, I" we heard tonight. It's never "us" or "David's feelings."

 

 

I wonder this too.  The "experts" are being amazingly gentle and easy on Sam and Ashley and they don't deserve it.  Don't sign up for this show, knowing you have 6 weeks to make a decision, if you're going to keep your spouse at a distance the entire time.  Don't the "experts" watch the film back?  Surely they would and see what Sam and Ashley are doing.  Why wouldn't any of them tell Sam and Neil that the experiment isn't worth going further if they're not going to live under the same roof?   Why not tell Ashley if you can't even hold David's hand, touch his knees with yours or push him away when he's trying to comfort you, you are clearly not in this 100% so bye.   Sam is clearly crazy and painfully immature (as evidenced by her stupid faces while holding Neil's hands) and Ashley seems to have zero emotions.  My heart breaks for David.

 

I think writing feelings down was an excellent move but surely Ashley could have come up with more than one sentence?  Okay, she's exhausted.  I'm sure David is too.  But why not say why you are so guarded?  Why not say that you're afraid of getting hurt or afraid you're going to hurt his feelings?  Why not say that maybe the experiment wasn't what you thought it was going to be and you're struggling with that? 

There is absolutely no way they moved out because of traffic. She worked at a bank in Sandy Springs and got her new job at a branch in Dunwoody. For those of you who aren't familiar with the area...those two cities are literally right next to each other. I can drive from my house in Sandy Springs and be in Dunwoody in less than two minutes.

 

 

 

I'm from this area and you are absolutely correct.  Getting moved to Dunwoody might add 10 minutes to her drive, depending on the time she leaves and how backed up Mt. Vernon/Abernathy or Roswell Road is.  She's full of crap.

 

Of course no mention about where Neil works and what his commute might be. 

[Gator Stud]

I get Vanessa.  The reality is that there are fewer black men doing well than black women; black men have too many options, while black women have too few. 

I have to disagree with this comment as a black male. Putting aside the effect that the bogus drug war had on black males employment opportunities, there are plenty of successful black males. Black females have the same amount of dating options as black males. I think what you are saying is black males are more open to dating outside of their race than black females are. I am not sure if this is true or not. I know one thing is true: regardless of one's race, the more successful you are, the better dating opportunities that you have. I agree with the rest of your post though.

[DangerousMinds]

I know someone mentioned that not consummating the marriage is not grounds for an annulment in Georgia, but I think David might have a good case based on FRAUD. 

[Gator Stud]

I think the pressure she feels she is under with everyone's expectations of her in the situation is crippling her.  I am sure her parents, friends, herself, the experts, David, even the public's expectations are making her completely shut down to feeling anything at this point. 

I think you are making excuses for Mustache treating David like ISIS. The only thing that expects from her is that she treats David nicely and with respect. That is all she had to do. Look at how Jackie approached the Basement last season. She was not attracted to Basement but treated him with respect. That is why people really like her on this forum.

[Snarklepuss]

Ashley hasn't had her emotion chip installed yet. 

 

LOL, but you never know, if she did she might turn out like Lore, which would arguably be worse because then she would be doing even worse vile things such as ripping David's head off, like Lore did to Data!!

Edited January 27, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[Gator Stud]

I'd like to add one thing about Mustache. Had I'd been placed in her situation with a slightly above average woman who could lose 20 or 30 pounds and that I was not attracted to, you know what I would have done?

A) sit her down and tell her that she in not my type-but I would like to give it a chance to see if I can develop some feelings for her.

B) hold her hand and put my arm around her. Take her to romantic places. Try to get to know her. I would kiss her (yes, French).

C) Treat her with respect, even if things weren't happening. I would try to become her friend and even hang out after the show was over.

[rab01]

I have to disagree with this comment as a black male. Putting aside the effect that the bogus drug war had on black males employment opportunities, there are plenty of successful black males. Black females have the same amount of dating options as black males. I think what you are saying is black males are more open to dating outside of their race than black females are. I am not sure if this is true or not. I know one thing is true: regardless of one's race, the more successful you are, the better dating opportunities that you have. I agree with the rest of your post though.

I'm a white guy so I hesitate to chime in with my lack of experience but the published data says that your theory is true - black men are twice as likely to marry someone of another race than are black women.  http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/06/12/interracial-marriage-who-is-marrying-out/

[Snarklepuss]

I wonder this too.  The "experts" are being amazingly gentle and easy on Sam and Ashley and they don't deserve it.  Don't sign up for this show, knowing you have 6 weeks to make a decision, if you're going to keep your spouse at a distance the entire time.  Don't the "experts" watch the film back?  Surely they would and see what Sam and Ashley are doing.  Why wouldn't any of them tell Sam and Neil that the experiment isn't worth going further if they're not going to live under the same roof?   Why not tell Ashley if you can't even hold David's hand, touch his knees with yours or push him away when he's trying to comfort you, you are clearly not in this 100% so bye.   Sam is clearly crazy and painfully immature (as evidenced by her stupid faces while holding Neil's hands) and Ashley seems to have zero emotions.  My heart breaks for David.

 

I know, I was saying this last week - The experts make generalized statements about what the participants should be doing on camera but they make sure not to be too harsh with anyone.  Maybe they are avoiding arousing the ire of any of the participants just to keep their semi-impartial stance.  They might have pissed off some of the participants last time for defending one side of a couple while implying negative stuff about the other.  They also may be saying stuff in private to them that doesn't make it on the air.  I did love the segment where Dr. C forces Ashley to let David know she didn't find him attractive.  I wonder if there was more to that we didn't see.

[lindag]

I too could not believe that Ashley could not come up with anything nice to say about David.  She must really have absolutely no feelings for him and only did the show for a paycheck to feed her dog.  That was beyond cruel to not say one good thing.  What I do not understand how did the "experts" ever pass her to even be considered when she does open up.  How must have she responded to them with the questions regarding sex and past relationships.  Jamie was not all that about Doug but she would be at least kind and allow and hug and a little kiss and David is much cuter than Doug. 

 

Sam is another that the "experts" should have seen that has mental issues.  With the overabundance of wax melts and her low energy level and stress level.  I think the house was not that bad but it gave her an out to go back to her place with the roommate that she needs to distress with.  Sam too shows no interest in Neil they way they sat on the van going to the party for her, I sit closer to strangers on the bus.

 

Vanessa was kind of cruel with her remark about the taco salad.  It looked good and Tres made the effort for her.  She needs to put down the phone and the dog and concentrate on a man that is trying to get to know her and make an effort.  And quit the laughing at everything.

 

 

[qtpye]

I have never thought about doing a taco salad or nachos with Doritos.  I use blue and white corn chips, so I wonder if the Doritos add or take away from the flavor?