S03.E07: Intimacy Part 1

[SnarkKitty]

 

Vanessa definitely has a too-idealized version of marriage if she thinks sharing a bathroom will make things better!  I wish I could advise her to just be thankful they have two! I was glad Tres gave her a little wake-up call on the reality of sharing a bathroom - she seems to think it's all playing footsie while brushing your teeth together.

 

I was like, GURL. You got half the keys for a successful marriage equation down (3 bank accounts), but you are blowing the other half - separate bathrooms! Sharing a bathroom isn't romantic, it's usually just a necessity. We bought an older brownstone and it had 4 bedrooms with one bath - a door from the hall and a door from the master - and 2 adults and 3 kids shared it like ye olden days for years. After we added a 3/4 bath in the basement, then a 1/2 on the main floor, I claimed the main bath for myself, my husband took the basement as his, and we never looked back. It was glorious. Several years ago when we were looking to buy a co-op, 2 bathrooms were a must. It was THE dealbreaker for both of us.

 

 

she went from Moscow in January all the way up to room temperature when she found out he could front that house by himself.  

 

Vanessa is adorable but, and this might be a youth thing, she's way too everything is riding on this one moment-y.

 

Bwah! That's some funny shit right there.

 

I love made up-y words.

 

 

Ashley - 01000010 01101100 01110100 01100011 01101000

 

That's hilarious. Not sure if the second letter was on purpose to fudge the word, but awesome nonetheless.

Edited January 14, 2016 by SnarkKitty

[ClareWalks]

Please someone translate that binary! Google is no help whatsoever.

[Soup333]

Please someone translate that binary! Google is no help whatsoever.

 

Pop it in this translator

[ketose]

That's what I thought it was, but I was thrown off because letters 1 and 4 weren't 1 number apart.

[honeywest]

I don't think reluctance to hurt David's feelings is Ashley's biggest obstacle.

 

Stop giggling, Vanessa.

[Madding crowd]

I like Tres and Vanessa and think Vanessa is just nervous being on TV. Some people can't help laughing when they are nervous. I really hope things work out for them. Tres seems like a good guy, my only concern was that he didn't seek to get married, just wanted to be on a reality show. He may decide that he wants to still play the field after this is over.

 

Sam is not as bad as Ashley to me. She is strange, and very outspoken, but she at least talks to Neil and laughs with Neil. And sorry, but the sight of Neil in that tank top and bright blue shorts made me think of a ten year old with a beard. Neil doesn't really seem like a very romantic or even sexual type, so I wonder if he is interested in that aspect at all.

 

Ashley is so mean and so cold, I wish the experts would come in and just let David out of whatever agreement he signed. He cooked her dinner and sat while she did whatever for hours, he was making funny and light hearted answers to the questions while she sat with a nasty look on her face, and then he can't even kiss her on the cheek?

 

I would love to hear an explanation from the experts on how Ashley could have been chosen for this show. David is not my type but he seems like a sweet guy who is trying hard. 

[AussieBabe]

I don't know if it's that David is trying too hard or if it looks that way because he's the only one trying enough for two people. I bet he would relent if he only had to be met halfway. He doesn't have an equal partner. Unlike the corpse, I think he was committed to giving the marriage a real shot.

We see x amount of edited time, so we have no idea what goes on during the 24 hours of the day. He has a full-time job, and she is in uni, so I doubt he is texting her nonstop, invading her space, and talking her head off from the time she walks in until their heads hit the pillow. Judging by how she treats him on camera, I can only imagine how cold she was when the film crew was gone. We saw her lack of regard when she walked in two hours late. You could not shoot a text and say, "I will be home late. No need to worry/stay up." It is not cool to make somebody worry when they haven't heard from you. She didn't care.

The experts need to explain how they thought she was ready for something like this when she was walls up and is such a stiff. Out of the thousands of people who applied, she was a top contender? Why?

Edited January 16, 2016 by AussieBabe

[izabella]

 I did watch what jennyl said about Ashley looking like she was bagged up and ready to leave, keys in hand.  Dishes were off the table.. It did look like she was heading back out the door, so, I'd say she makes excuses and rarely stays there.  

 

Ashley was smiling and laughing about the stale cupcake, which tells me she was super happy and relieved to be leaving.

 

She is repulsed, but Neil quit showing interest so she's trying to get a reaction to stroke her ego and get him reinvested. Her whole "I'm not attracted to him" routine only works if the guy keeps chasing. Unlike David, Neil doesn't - and it's bruising her ego.

She'd withdraw completely if Neil made a move...make a real production of it too. "I can't expose my flabby belly without you trying to jump on top of me?" <Exasperated sigh, storms off to do a video diary about how she can't have a conversation because Neil only wants her chubby body>

 

I suspect Neil isn't remotely attracted to Sam.  Even if there had been a chance he could have been attracted to her, I'm sure one day with her shut that impulse down.  Her foul attitude and personality would be a big turn off.  She's so unpleasant and prickly to be around, no fun, nothing but unease and outright conflict.

[Snarklepuss]

I don't know if it's that David is trying too hard or if it looks that way because he's the only one trying enough for two people. I bet he would relent if he only had to be met halfway. He doesn't have an equal partner. Unlike the corpse, I think he was committed to giving the marriage a real shot.

 

ITA with you, I think David looks more needy next to her because he's actually making an effort, and making a bigger effort to try to reach her somehow since she's not reciprocating.  The only thing I can fault him for so far is saying that he's starting to fall for her.  I think he needs his head examined for that.  After the way she's treated him that's completely inappropriate under the circumstances and I hate to say, a little pathetic.

 

Ashley is so mean and so cold, I wish the experts would come in and just let David out of whatever agreement he signed. He cooked her dinner and sat while she did whatever for hours, he was making funny and light hearted answers to the questions while she sat with a nasty look on her face, and then he can't even kiss her on the cheek?

 

Mr. Snarklepuss watched the show last night on the DVR, and I re-watched the goldfish bowl scene.  In the middle of David reading a question, Ashley just ups and walks out of the room.  How completely rude is that?  Does this guy even have a clue what torture he'd be in for if he stayed with her?  I think he should count his blessings that she's NOT into him, cut bait and run.

 

Speaking of an explanation from the experts, I think very little has been said on the show about Ashley's attitude.  Why isn't she being singled out and told that she needs to do more/give the poor guy a chance?  The only thing we've heard so far is a semi-apologetic remark from Dr. Pepper about what she "needs to do".  I feel like poor David is being left out in the cold with no support.

Then we see talking heads from Ashley in which she pays lip service to "being in this for the long haul" or whatever BS she was fed to say by the producer.  I'm beginning to see how a lot of the talking heads don't bear any resemblance to what we're seeing on the show.  I tend to believe what I see over the BS they say.

[Drogo]

We saw her lack of disregard when she walked in two hours late. You could not shoot a text and say, "I will be home late. No need to worry/stay up."

 

Ashley doesn't have enough affection toward David to have gone to the cupcake shop (the only place that gives you a cupcake box) just to buy him a cupcake, so I'd venture she went out for coffee and dessert (who knows, maybe drinks and dinner too) with some classmates after her final. 

 

If you have time to go to the cupcake shop, you have time to send a text. 

 

In any marriage, new or existing, the kiss of death is inconsideration. 

[Vinyasa]

We see x amount of edited time, so we have no idea what goes on during the 24 hours of the day. He has a full-time job, and she is in uni, so I doubt he is texting her nonstop, invading her space, and talking her head off from the time she walks in until their heads hit the pillow. Judging by how she treats him on camera, I can only imagine how cold she was when the film crew was gone.

 

Ashley probably isn't around David unless they are filming!

[suzeecat]

David is too headstrong on just 'being married' and not willing to face his own needs.  I will say at least he expresses his frustration but he refuses to let it go.  He better get some serious help or he's going to be used and abused by some chicky who spends his money, runs him ragged, chews him up and spits him out over and over.

 

Maybe we'll see him on 90 Day Fiancé next.

[BunnySlippers]

Ashley doesn't have enough affection toward David to have gone to the cupcake shop (the only place that gives you a cupcake box) just to buy him a cupcake, so I'd venture she went out for coffee and dessert (who knows, maybe drinks and dinner too) with some classmates after her final. 

 

If you have time to go to the cupcake shop, you have time to send a text. 

 

In any marriage, new or existing, the kiss of death is inconsideration. 

 

Very good points. I actually wonder if Ashley even got that cupcake for David or did she get it for someone else, and it was just an afterthought to give it to him.

[crazychicken]

This is a an extended scene of Davis & Ashley's fishbowl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_88JrHd-jJE

 

And then them talking about the exercise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9Drzf4nFBA

 

David is really frustrated with Ashley over the exercise (I do not blame him at all) and Ashley is just so much more frustrating in her talking head. Seriously she was disappointed in David during the fishbowl that he wanted her to answer questions and he did not make her comfortable. I do not see what he could have done differently other than refuse to do the exercise to put her at ease. Do not get me started on Ashley's reasoning that she could not answer as they do not have an intimate relationship, that was the flippin point of the excercise to build intimacy. Why David has not ran for the hill I do not know, it is like watching a puppy being kicked and coming back for more.

Very good points. I actually wonder if Ashley even got that cupcake for David or did she get it for someone else, and it was just an afterthought to give it to him.

That was my first thought she bought herself a cupcake for later and then gave it to David as an afterthought, hence why it was in her bag in who knows what shape. If I buy a food item for a person I try to the best of my ability to give it to them in good shape and I do not shove it in my bag, I shove food in my bag when I want to hide it from my husband and kids.

[ClareWalks]

 Seriously she was disappointed in David during the fishbowl that he wanted her to answer questions and he did not make her comfortable.

 

FFS, Ashley is NEVER comfortable. Seriously. She is the Amish-church-pew of people.

[Jax7917]

The only couple im really interested in watching is David and Ashley. T and V are eh and sam and neil are boring to watch. As much as I do feel bad for David and think he has the patience of a saint, he really is being extremely annoying by saying that hes falling in love with her and saying she's the best wife in the world. If I was paired with her, I would have broken my contract within days. And if I got sued for breaking the contract, my defense would have been that I signed up to be married, and I was matched with someone who clearly did not want to be married. 

[Waterlilly]

Ashley could drive a husband to become abusive (just kidding kinda). But, I can see over years where he would just make her as miserable as he is, then we see his story on Snapped

[Soup333]

This is a an extended scene of Davis & Ashley's fishbowl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_88JrHd-jJE

 

And then them talking about the exercise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9Drzf4nFBA

 

In the second video they are clearly at their apartments. Probably why David was comfortable saying how he truly felt to the camera in his the living room. I'm sure the only time they really see each other is when they have to film at the rented house. No way would Ashley be there if she didn't have to. 

 

As far as that cupcake, that was definitely for her and she decided to give it to him as a half-assed apology for being late and not even bothering to text. No way she has enough compassion in her to buy him a cupcake "just because."  

[henrysmom]

 

Very good points. I actually wonder if Ashley even got that cupcake for David or did she get it for someone else, and it was just an afterthought to give it to him.

 

My first thought, having worked at a nursing college for awhile, was that the school had cupcakes out for the students to take as they finished their finals.  Our school did things like that.   I can't see Ashley going out of her way to buy a cupcake, but I can see her taking a cupcake because everybody else is, shoving it in her bag, and then remembering it on her way out the door as she tosses a bone at poor David to either make herself look better or give him more false hope.

 

And on that topic, the eager puppy comments about David are just so on target.  I like the guy but he just screams needy and desperate.  I can see why he is single though he really wants to get married.  I'd bet he's talking marriage to women on the second or third date and scaring them off.

[AussieBabe]

I doubt she bought it. If she did, her whole I was too busy to text spiel is rubbish. You can speak a text in mere seconds at a red light. He called and left her a voicemail, and she was not concerned with returning the call. Granted, we have no idea how much time had lapsed, but she was lacking common courtesy. She could have text or called him when she got in her car after the final(s).

Needy or not...the experts screwed him over. I would not want to be tasked with fixing somebody or breaking down walls. I am not a psychotherapist, and if you need to be made whole or fixed, you have no business in a marriage or relationship. Period. You need to work on yourself before you even attempt to be part of a couple. They knew the odds of breaking her walls down and thawing her out in six weeks was unrealistic. For them to have that mentality shows how completely and utterly inept they are. Ashley should not have been chosen. I refuse to believe that she was the best of the best. I am 99% sure that at the reunion they will try to sell her as this or that to cover their arses, but it's just not so. Ironically, I don't think the producers have to manipulate her beige personality or give her the bad edit. They have to have something to work with, and she gives them nothing. You cannot even chop and screw her TH because the monosyllabic, programmed responses are the same and emotionless. "I married a stranger." "David is a good guy." "I am not attracted to him." She is like a doll with a button or string. Pull the string and hear my prerecorded responses.

[Neurochick]

Needy or not...the experts screwed him over. I would not want to be tasked with fixing somebody or breaking down walls. I am not a psychotherapist, and if you need to be made whole or fixed, you have no business in a marriage or relationship. Period. You need to work on yourself before you even attempt to be part of a couple. They knew the odds of breaking her walls down and thawing her out in six weeks was unrealistic. For them to have that mentality shows how completely and utterly inept they are. Ashley should not have been chosen. I refuse to believe that she was the best of the best. I am 99% sure that at the reunion they will try to sell her as this or that to cover their arses, but it's just not so. Ironically, I don't think the producers have to manipulate her beige personality or give her the bad edit. They have to have something to work with, and she gives them nothing. You cannot even chop and screw her TH because the monosyllabic, programmed responses are the same and emotionless. "I married a stranger." "David is a good guy." "I am not attracted to him." She is like a doll with a button or string. Pull the string and hear my prerecorded responses.

 

This post is a thousand percent correct.  If you have issues then don't get married, go to therapy.

[seasick]

.

 

 

 

Speaking of an explanation from the experts, I think very little has been said on the show about Ashley's attitude.  Why isn't she being singled out and told that she needs to do more/give the poor guy a chance?  The only thing we've heard so far is a semi-apologetic remark from Dr. Pepper about what she "needs to do".  I feel like poor David is being left out in the cold with no support.

Then we see talking heads from Ashley in which she pays lip service to "being in this for the long haul" or whatever BS she was fed to say by the producer.  I'm beginning to see how a lot of the talking heads don't bear any resemblance to what we're seeing on the show.  I tend to believe what I see over the BS they say.

I agree, it would be satisfying to see Ashley being called out a bit for just not the lack of intimacy (which I can get to a point) but for her cold and terse attitude toward David in general.  

There is no doubt in my mind that she only shows up when she has to, and is giving production a hard time as well.  When I look back at the scene where Ashley is packing back up to leave, it seems obvious that she's making no attempt to cover up that she's 'outta there' and makes no apologies to production for it.

 

I was also annoyed by that ridiculous TH segment of Ashley saying she 'want's this" and 'has made sacrifices to make it work'.  so I started to investigate the TH segments. Revealed in m earlier post is that that statement was made before the weddings at her home, as well as "love story'.fantasies.  

 

All of the TH's where Ashley is sitting by a table with the 3 or 4 candles on it are done at their 'marital home'.  Some of these were even used during the honeymoon segment.   It appears that these are all said at the 3 week mark.  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Many of David's TH's are done there too.  However he talks about the honeymoon in real time yet he is sitting in the dining room.  So some of his were 'catch-up' TH's.  They really do a bad job of producing and editing this show.  I'm sure they could get TH's during the honeymoon but then again, they probably needed alot more 'filler' for the David/Ashley segments.

Anything "plugged in". that shows them sitting next to a copper 'globe' to the right is said during the interviews with the 'experts".

 

I liked Henrysmom's explanation about the cupcake.  I actually considered that production provided it since all the guys brought flowers on that ep.  I guess anything's possible (other than Ashley making the effort to get it) 

[Vinyasa]

Ashley and David have  been exactly the same in each episode!

 

Ashley: He is a stranger, I'm not attached to him, He is nice person.

 

David: We're married, I'm trying make this work, I hope I can kiss my wife.

 

Nothing moves forward with these two. I can't take hearing the same thing each week from them!!

[Kareem]

This is a an extended scene of Davis & Ashley's fishbowl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_88JrHd-jJE

And then them talking about the exercise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9Drzf4nFBA

Wow. That second video... She seems so convinced that she's right. Sad in a way that he doesn't hear the things that come out of her mouth.

[ctbabe]

Preview for next week. Why did Neil AGREE to move in with Sam and her roomie?

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=463925743810417&id=296143973921929&fs=0

[Soup333]

Preview for next week. Why did Neil AGREE to move in with Sam and her roomie?

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=463925743810417&id=296143973921929&fs=0

 

No idea. She probably couldn't wait to have the power to kick him out of HER house.

[Lion18]

In the preview after Tuesday"s episode she does kick him out. When he refuses to leave she leaves

[ctbabe]

In the preview after Tuesday"s episode she does kick him out. When he refuses to leave she leaves

Do you know where that preview is? Edited January 14, 2016 by ctbabe

[Evil Queen]

I'm sorry but I don't care how long I am with my husband I don't need him in the bathroom with me or me with him when we do our business. Since we have 3 kids we HAVE to have at least 2 bathrooms. There is no way in hell 1 would ever work. I grew up in a house that had one and it was a nightmare. This is probably TMI but there was one time I had him in the bathroom with me like that and it was during labor. Which being hooked up to an IV and all, I had to have his help but made sure he was turned the other way. LOL Otherwise there would be no way we will ever do that again. There are just some things that one does not need to see and this is it. Its not something that would be bring anyone closer at all IMO. LOL I still think Tres is not what he seems. And agree about Vanessa's giggling. If its not a nervous reaction to things and its how she always is then it would get on my nerves. I will say that yes it was good the parts with the friends there with them and how well they got along. 

 

   UGH and whoever said that Logan was like a valley girl...please do not insult us real valley girls. LOL Logan is one of those that tries to act a certain way and so is not. She needs to get over herself because she is FAR from any expert on things. Those fishbowls filled like they were....what a joke. Why not the same questions for each couples and the same amount? What if Tres and Vanessa hadn't slept together yet? Would that bowl had been filled like that still? Aside from sexual type questions throw in some other types as well so they can get to know more then just that part of things. BTW, I noticed they didn't pull their covers off the bed to get in it at the end there. They were just using throws on the bed and different ones for themselves too. And weren't they still in their clothes? Only reason I could see they are living together is because they are having sex...otherwise I would say I am in doubt on it. 

 

And OMG Ashley is pathetic. Sorry but laugh and learn to have fun. I can't handle people with no sense of humor. It can help make an awkward situation not feel so horrible at times. David giving goofy answers was funny and was totally him trying to lighten the mood up on the awkward questions. I just do not get why she is there at all and why she was picked. I feel for David in this because he was doing nothing but trying. I would think after so much time of being the only one trying that he would just stop and walk away from it all. I'm finding it hard to believe some of what she said too. Fine and dandy to wait on sex but then did she wait on kissing or anything else for that long too? If so she must have been with someone just like her for 9 yrs in order for him to be ok with that. I am not sure why she was picked for David. What more is she wanting as well? And yes the fish they got were beta. The camera he had zoomed into the fish and the price tag/name was right there. Plus the way they were in containers on their own was a sign that they were. So yeah can't see those lasting. LOL Wouldn't the pet store tell them to just make sure they understand not to put them in a tank together? I was surprised she asked if he wanted her to come sit next to him though on the ferris wheel and the laughing so much. Sad she can't even put her cheek out for him though to kiss her there at the very least. She basically ruined what came off as a nice time at first. 

 

Sam wanting to live i her place..UGH Just her wanting to be in charge of it all. I doubt he was living there. Just like I doubt they were in the rented house. The whole reason for not living in her place was she had a roommate. Did that roommate up and leave or something? Which I'm surprised she would even have another living with her honestly with how she has come off. And as others have said I noticed it too with her outfit and she was supposedly off of work. No one would dress that way as a banker and where would she have changed between work and home? Such a sham with that whole thing there. Neil should have put the foot down on having to "move" though. With it being her place, it can come down to her saying get out and don't come back with the control she would have on it. Logan is so stupid on this whole thing. Neil isn't letting Sam take the reigns. He is just trying to avoid dealing with her crazy put downs. Why is it what will make her happy in the end? Her laughing like she was at Neil was disrespectful. The whole "oh you were talking to me?" and Logan doesn't call her out on it or thinking she is taking any accountability for her behavior! Obviously these experts are really pushing it with things. Sam hasn't doe one thing to change her ways and she keeps showing it more and more. That whole "Neil needs to have his voice heard" is such a cop out. How about Sam needs to not "steamroll" people? Let's just blame the person that ISN'T acting like a wackjob (or cold fish). UGH Sorry but saying Little Neil....that came off so insulting and rude to me. And whoever mentioned them on the bed with their clothes....agree that it totally gives it away they aren't sleeping in the same place.

 

The previews...all I have to say is Sam can sure dish out what she wants but if given back to her as she does it she runs off having a tantrum. She is a horrible person and nothing will ever change there. She showed it from the get go. These "experts" not calling her out to her face on how she behaves is a joke. Stop saying he needs to step up or speak up or whatever. Tell her to get a damn clue and act like an adult that isn't mental or go get frickin help. Same with Ashley...loved that David told her what all has been said here about the dog being a cock blocker. She will have to say something about how she feels at this point because you can't keep doing that without saying you aren't interested in words. I think he needs to hear it so he can move past this whole thing and find someone else. 

[SaucyMommy]

Ashley doesn't like David. And Neil I'm confident doesn't like Sam. 

[Vinyasa]

And then them talking about the exercise

https://www.youtube....h?v=f9Drzf4nFBA

 

Why are they back in their old apartments filming these??

[jamblastx]

I laughed for about 5 minutes.

 

Glad to hear it!  I have to admit that I was cracking myself up as I was posting it (and I hate when people laugh at their own jokes)

[Neurochick]

I thought Vanessa and Tres' bathroom conversation was interesting.  I remember a female friend saying that she knew she and her boyfriend were really intimate with each other when she was on the toilet and he in the tub, she thought that was more intimate than sex.

 

I think some people just aren't grossed out by bathroom stuff.  I lived in a house with one bathroom and it wasn't really an issue for me.  When I'm on vacation with my mother and we're on a cruise ship, we share a bathroom and it's fine.  

[Adeejay]

The experts need to explain how they thought she [Ashley]  was ready for something like this when she was walls up and is such a stiff. Out of the thousands of people who applied, she was a top contender? Why?

 

Based on what I've been reading, most viewers are questioning why given the pool of applicants, how someone as dour and humorless as Ashley got matched.  I would love to see her audition tape and the answers on her questionnaire, because clearly, she pulled a fast one on the "experts".  I have a feeling she was a production nightmare.  I am willing to bet she never spent one night in that house with David and only showed up for filming. 

[PityFree]

A lot of new homes have two bathrooms and two closets in the master suite. There is a good reason for that. Especially for bathrooms, a little mystery is a good thing. Tres and Vanessa should have told Logan to shove it and kept using their own bathrooms. 

[AussieBabe]

I insisted on separate bathrooms and closets when we built our home. It drove me crazy when we had to share one time because the water heater on his side went out. I was trying to straighten my hair, and he was shaving, brushing his teeth, and just in my way. He's free to leave the caps off toothpaste and bottles open in his bathroom. I'm a neat freak, so that kind of stuff makes me give him side eyes. Separate works best for us. I don't see sharing a bathroom as being intimate at all, and Logan didn't tell Ashley and David to share a bathroom. What's with the double standard? I distinctly remember Ashley taking the master bathroom and David taking the other one. Did Logan not know that?

The thing with David is...even if he had verbalised his needs, they'd get lost in the shuffle because all the focus has been on getting Ashley to open up and trying to climb Mt. Everest. He seems to initiate every conversation. She shuts down when it gets uncomfortable, and guess what? By doing that, it doesn't even matter what he wants or needs. She is not trying to hear it. She is fixated on herself, her needs, and her comfort level. That isn't somebody who is ready for marriage, so she must have pulled the wool over the experts eyes. Even the experts are encouraging that idiocy. Not one has told him to express what he needs from her, and that's the tragic flaw of dealing with someone who is all about self and closed off. You spend so much time focusing on the person with issues that the other ends up neglected or ass out.

[JapMo]

There has to be more to the story of what is up with Ashley. First, she's only directly said two or three times that she's not attracted to David. On camera we've never seen her tell him that to his face. Her mannerisms at the wedding didn't once betray that she was unhappy with the match. She didn't fall on the floor and say how disappointed she was a la Jaime. So for her to have shut down so completely and so fast is very mysterious. Could it be that she tried to get out of the deal but it was too late and she had to go through with it? Could the show force her to marry someone....I didn't think they could. Or maybe right after the wedding she could tell he wasn't for her and wanted to stop it there but they waved the contract in her face and said she had to at least go through the motions for 6 weeks? Because it looks like she's figured out how to put in absolutely the least possible effort. She does keep saying, almost in wonderment, about what a nice guy David is. Maybe what she's really saying is I can't believe how he keeps pretending we are a couple. David may have just decided 'screw you, I'll act all in so no one can say I didn't at least try to make it work'. I think David is saying what the producers are telling him to say, but he knows Ashley isn't the right girl for him.

[JapMo]

In my above post, I am aware of the "hot mike" where Ashley did tell her friend she wasn't attracted to David, but in general, her demeanor at the wedding didn't betray any hint that she was already over it.

[Lion18]

Do you know where that preview is?

it was shown right after Tuesday's episode in FYI. They got in another fight and she tells him to get out. He refuses and so she says " well then I'll leave"

[Evil Queen]

I think at this point we would all like to know what Ashley's story is. There has not been one said about past relationships aside from getting out of a 9 yr one. We know that she supposedly likes dark features and guess someone more like her that is blah from what it sounded like with her friend. LOL I know they said serious but even those that are more on the serious side can still have a fun side to them and have a sense of humor about things.

 

it was shown right after Tuesday's episode in FYI. They got in another fight and she tells him to get out. He refuses and so she says " well then I'll leave"

 

It sounded too like he was giving her a taste of her own medicine or something like that and was having a tantrum over it by telling him to leave and he stood his ground and she didn't like it. Will be interesting to see what set her off this time. LOL

[moonxyz]

There has to be more to the story of what is up with Ashley. First, she's only directly said two or three times that she's not attracted to David. On camera we've never seen her tell him that to his face. Her mannerisms at the wedding didn't once betray that she was unhappy with the match. She didn't fall on the floor and say how disappointed she was a la Jaime. So for her to have shut down so completely and so fast is very mysterious. Could it be that she tried to get out of the deal but it was too late and she had to go through with it? Could the show force her to marry someone....I didn't think they could. Or maybe right after the wedding she could tell he wasn't for her and wanted to stop it there but they waved the contract in her face and said she had to at least go through the motions for 6 weeks? Because it looks like she's figured out how to put in absolutely the least possible effort. She does keep saying, almost in wonderment, about what a nice guy David is. Maybe what she's really saying is I can't believe how he keeps pretending we are a couple. David may have just decided 'screw you, I'll act all in so no one can say I didn't at least try to make it work'. I think David is saying what the producers are telling him to say, but he knows Ashley isn't the right girl for him.

 

The video diaries only show one couple actually getting their marriage licence: Vanessa and Tres. I always wondered if the other couple actually went through with it. I doubt it at this point. 

[Soup333]

It was shown right after Tuesday's episode in FYI. They got in another fight and she tells him to get out. He refuses and so she says " well then I'll leave"

 

I meant that she couldn't wait to have him on her turf so that she could throw a power play like that. And that is exactly what she did. She probably kicked him out on his first afternoon there.

[KateHearts]

Sam & Ashley have zero respect for their 'husbands.' Sam & Ashley could both drop some pounds and tone up and neither are very pretty - overall each rates about a '5' to '6' on a good day. Look in the mirror - you are a succumbs minus the sex.

What does this even mean?

 

I think Sam has just neglected her appearance- no makeup, hair uncombed.  Ashley has such a surly sourpuss look all the time, I think that detracts from their looks.

[BBDi]

Sorry I can't figure out how to quote from the phone. Good points made above.

Wrt Ashley and Dave I think she made it clear from the outset she wasn't going to cooperate, and Dave took the opportunity to show that he's a nice guy and all-in despite everything. I think Neil is doing something similar.

Which brings me to something that was said above. I hate the way 'they' have encouraged these one-way narratives a la - Will nice guy Dave break down Ashley's reserve? Will Sam see the light and realize that she's better off with Neil? How stupid do they think we are? All in an effort to distract us from the reality that these 2 pairings suck and they are already over. How would it even be possible for Dave or Neil to like those two?

In any case they may both have better romantic prospects than they did going into the show bc they look so good next to those 2 heaux.

Wrt Neil moving into Sam's house, my guess is that she refuses to even pretend to move into the joint house and this is the only way the producers can attempt to get any footage of them together.

I wonder like others whether Ashley and Sam are meeting their contractual obligations or maybe think the producers won't take date legal action because it will only highlight how fake the show is.

[zxy556575]

That isn't somebody who is ready for marriage, so she must have pulled the wool over the experts eyes. Even the experts are encouraging that idiocy.

 

Since Ashley has shown herself to be quite duplicitous, I'm willing to believe that she presented herself very differently to the experts and casting agents. She has zero insight into herself and doesn't believe she's neurotic or has any personality defects, so she was probably telling her own truth when she assured them that she was open and ready for marriage.

Nevermind that it should have taken the experts 30 minutes to see through that, much less the multiple hours they claim to spend going through test results and interviews.

Edited January 15, 2016 by lordonia

[seasick]

There has to be more to the story of what is up with Ashley. First, she's only directly said two or three times that she's not attracted to David. On camera we've never seen her tell him that to his face. Her mannerisms at the wedding didn't once betray that she was unhappy with the match. She didn't fall on the floor and say how disappointed she was a la Jaime. So for her to have shut down so completely and so fast is very mysterious. Could it be that she tried to get out of the deal but it was too late and she had to go through with it? Could the show force her to marry someone....I didn't think they could. Or maybe right after the wedding she could tell he wasn't for her and wanted to stop it there but they waved the contract in her face and said she had to at least go through the motions for 6 weeks? Because it looks like she's figured out how to put in absolutely the least possible effort. She does keep saying, almost in wonderment, about what a nice guy David is. Maybe what she's really saying is I can't believe how he keeps pretending we are a couple. David may have just decided 'screw you, I'll act all in so no one can say I didn't at least try to make it work'. I think David is saying what the producers are telling him to say, but he knows Ashley isn't the right girl for him.

I hear you Japmo.   I agree that although Ashley was never a thrill ride, there definitely was a shift in her attitude.    But Ashley did say in the bathroom at the wedding that she was not attracted to David.  She has said it on camera several times that there is 'no romantic connection"  meaning..she doesn't want to be physical at all (and she ain't kiddin')  

 

She WAS a sourpuss at the wedding.tho.  She didn't pull a Jamie, but she hardly smiled at all, and the whole wedding party looked bored.  There was a shot of her dancing with the crowd of ladies (obviously pushed into doing it) half-limp arms in the air-- eyes about to roll..  No kissing--even on the cheek for pictures, and blank stares to David and the reception crowd.

 

However I did see some glimmers of hope.  She was playful up in the wedding night room about the champagne,  she laughed about David asking for her phone number.  She even laid on top of the bed with David.right away. Overall she was friendly and up- beat there.

 

On the honeymoon when they were at dinner with the shot of 'pea soup: there was some playfulness with Ashley saying "but what if I made it for you?"     But after that it seemed like a (mysterious as you say) total shut-down.

 

For SURE ,once she said   "I do"   they waved the contract in her face.  I think it started on the honeymoon when I think all she wanted to do is stay in her room and "study"  and production pushed her to do things.  They DO have a show to make..  I know when David got frustrated they made her go down to the pool area and talk to him. .I know it.  She wouldn't do that on her own.  

 

Ashley doesn't want to do what she doesn't want to do and production has had to remind her that she has obligations to the show and "Sorry, honey,  you have to show up and you have to participate!" .   I think Ashley has been coddled all her life and is not used to doing things that she doesn't want to do.  I believe that is where the better part of the attitude is.   Now she's pissed off and she's giving them as little as humanly possible. Granted she has no sense of humor, no personality to speak of , and she is not attracted to David, but I believe her dead stares are meant for production more than for David.  (And I pictured a 1-finger salute to them when she walked out the door after dinner last ep.)

 

Of course David is probably getting along famously with the production staff!.  (who else is there to talk to??)  So now i"m sure Ashley's feeling a little ganged up on.  Maybe David is being coached by producers as you suggest, but he may also feel more pressure to take up the slack too and keep pushing Ashley for their sake.  I hope he does. I hope Ashley gets tortured into therapy.  She needs it..

So, that's my read on this situation anyway . 

[ketose]

I hear you Japmo.   I agree that although Ashley was never a thrill ride, there definitely was a shift in her attitude.    But Ashley did say in the bathroom at the wedding that she was not attracted to David.  She has said it on camera several times that there is 'no romantic connection"  meaning..she doesn't want to be physical at all (and she ain't kiddin')  

 

She WAS a sourpuss at the wedding.tho.  She didn't pull a Jamie, but she hardly smiled at all, and the whole wedding party looked bored.  There was a shot of her dancing with the crowd of ladies (obviously pushed into doing it) half-limp arms in the air-- eyes about to roll..  No kissing--even on the cheek for pictures, and blank stares to David and the reception crowd.

 

However I did see some glimmers of hope.  She was playful up in the wedding night room about the champagne,  she laughed about David asking for her phone number.  She even laid on top of the bed with David.right away. Overall she was friendly and up- beat there.

 

On the honeymoon when they were at dinner with the shot of 'pea soup: there was some playfulness with Ashley saying "but what if I made it for you?"     But after that it seemed like a (mysterious as you say) total shut-down.

 

For SURE ,once she said   "I do"   they waved the contract in her face.  I think it started on the honeymoon when I think all she wanted to do is stay in her room and "study"  and production pushed her to do things.  They DO have a show to make..  I know when David got frustrated they made her go down to the pool area and talk to him. .I know it.  She wouldn't do that on her own.  

 

Ashley doesn't want to do what she doesn't want to do and production has had to remind her that she has obligations to the show and "Sorry, honey,  you have to show up and you have to participate!" .   I think Ashley has been coddled all her life and is not used to doing things that she doesn't want to do.  I believe that is where the better part of the attitude is.   Now she's pissed off and she's giving them as little as humanly possible. Granted she has no sense of humor, no personality to speak of , and she is not attracted to David, but I believe her dead stares are meant for production more than for David.  (And I pictured a 1-finger salute to them when she walked out the door after dinner last ep.)

 

Of course David is probably getting along famously with the production staff!.  (who else is there to talk to??)  So now i"m sure Ashley's feeling a little ganged up on.  Maybe David is being coached by producers as you suggest, but he may also feel more pressure to take up the slack too and keep pushing Ashley for their sake.  I hope he does. I hope Ashley gets tortured into therapy.  She needs it..

So, that's my read on this situation anyway . 

My guess is that Ashley was chided by producers to the point she threatened to quit. Then they and the "experts" had to pull back and let her do what she wants. She's probably under some kind of contract where she'll get slapped with a lawsuit for a lot of money if she quits, so she's serving out her time and only doing the minimum to fulfill her obligations.

[BunnySlippers]

Re the bathroom thing with Vanessa and Tres, the way I remember, she was the one who sort of complained to Logan about it, and that's why Logan brought it up with Tres. So my impression was that for some reason, Vanessa thought they should share a bathroom.

[Snarklepuss]

Re the bathroom thing with Vanessa and Tres, the way I remember, she was the one who sort of complained to Logan about it, and that's why Logan brought it up with Tres. So my impression was that for some reason, Vanessa thought they should share a bathroom.

 

ITA, I think in keeping with Vanessa's way over-idealized and romanticized way of looking at things, she thinks sharing a bathroom is "important" to building intimacy in a relationship.  I think her attitude about that is a little immature.  I don't see anything wrong with sharing a bathroom if two people are OK with it, but I just disagree with this strange belief that it's important to a relationship, like as important as sharing the same house.  I don't think sharing a bathroom should ever be considered necessary or important to the intimacy of a relationship.  Of course the "experts" here are all too willing to agree with her to make themselves look like they know something, which they don't, and to pad out her segment of the episode.  BTW, I haven't shared a bathroom with Mr. Snarklepuss in over 25 years.  We once went away for 2 weeks a few years ago and shared a bathroom.  I can tell you that by the time it was over we were almost at each others' throats and relieved to come back home to our separate bathrooms!

Edited January 15, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[henrysmom]

I have a question for those who watched all three seasons.  I just started watching the show seriously this season and missed a lot of episodes.  

 

Did the six couples in the earlier two seasons all consummate their marriages?  I'm wondering if this season is the first where the couples will be 1 out of 3 in this area (because if Neil and Sam or David and Ashley get that far I'd be really shocked).