S03.E06: Meet The In-Laws

[Tara Ariano]

Dr. Schwartz visits the couples as they prepare to spend time with their in-laws. Also: intimacy develops between Tres and Vanessa; Neil bonds with Samantha's dad; and Ashley helps David as Father's Day brings back memories of father's death.

[belladonna77]

Sam was hinting to Neil that she wanted a 50 Shades of Grey sort of thing in a relationship, right?  No wonder she keeps acting like she does to Neil, she's trying to see what his limits are and hoping she gets "punished."

[Spatty250]

I could hear twitter blowing up when Sam was expressing her needs in a husband.

[Trixie Belden]

So.  Sam is still a bitch.  

 

Ashley couldn't be more physically repulsed by David if he had leprosy.  

 

Tres isn't going to stop hitting the club, Vanessa.

[mythoughtis]

They've been married two weeks - was this the first time Tres went out to a bar?  If so, then she needs to chill out a little.  She doesn't need any time with her friends? Now, if he wants to go out weekly without her, then there's a problem-but once?

 

Was Sam raised in the 1940s?  Because she should be able to deal with someone that wants to help out around the house.  She should be comfortable with being treated as equal - she's a bank branch manager for goodness sakes. 

 

Ashley participated in this experiment why?  If she didn't have six weeks to devote to this,, then she should have declined.  She's got no interest in being married.

 

ETA - Dear Vanessa married life is not happy 24/7.

Edited January 6, 2016 by mythoughtis

[mythoughtis]

I have a feeling that Tres doesn't see his Dad and uncle as parental figures.  He seems to have been raised by his Aunt.  There is probably a reason for that, and it may (I say may) very well be that Tres' Dad isn't a very 'stable' influence on his life - a partner in escapades.

[sleekandchic]

The dogs are the only human beings on this show.

Painful!

[sleekandchic]

I could hear twitter blowing up when Sam was expressing her needs in a husband.

She might as well have been speaking a Martian dialect to me. I have no idea what Sam wants.

The only thing Ashley and David have in common is facial hair. I agree she is repulsed by him. There is no legit reason for her participation in this show.

Edited January 6, 2016 by sleekandchic

[JenE4]

I don't think Sam and Neil are living together. When they woke up at the beginning of the episode: clue 1) Sam's phone was on the table but not hooked to a charger, and it's inconceivable that someone would sleep without charging her phone; clue 2) Neil had a weekend bag suitcase next to the bed; clue 3) the microwave clock was black and the oven clock was flashing, and no one would be able to live with that without resetting them. Also, not a clue but rather another mystery: Why do they have a couch in the bedroom but no couch in the living room?!

Every time David attempts to talk to Ashley about their relationship, he gets increasingly fidgety spinning his ring as she deflects answering. However, it was nice finally seeing her open up a bit more as the episode went on, but I guess she feels more comfortable talking about David's feelings than her own. Oh, never mind. That didn't last long. Shut down over family videos and god forbid allowing David to have his friends over for a party. Sad sack Ashley doesn't like fun, remember? No friends or parties! But hold out hope that hugging might be the "next level," David. Oh, man, I'm having flashbacks to the level of Super Mario Brothers I couldn't pass back in the day that I was always convinced that THIS TIME I'm going to get it. Picturing David as little Mario, jumping up to get the coins and the big leap across the beams... Whaa-waa-waa! Game Over!

I love Sam's and Tres's dads! They're so sweet and welcoming to their son-/daughter-in-law.

Twist ending! Tres and Vanessa went from happy post-consummation couple to Vanessa worrying he's an alcoholic, and Sam and Neil went from fighting and not wanting to give it a shot to being fully committed to the process and to each other. Sam even apologized with some semblance of self-understanding! But, lest you feel it could be a sign of the impending apocalypse, Ashley is back to her monosyllabic answers. But, wait, David is frustrated! That didn't work, either. If looks could kill, that cameraman who was focusing in on Ashley studying would be dead. Oh, and Vanessa now realizes she freaked out and will be okay...until the next time she freaks out because deep down she knows she's more emotionally invested than Tres is.

[spankydoll]

David's outburst was very WTF for me. Impulse control issues - no thanks. Ashley may be very smart to stay guarded around him.

 

Sam - Please go on Bondage.com and find a Master to help you work out your control issues. If Neil don't go that way he don't go that way. Stop making him feel bad or being himself. 

 

Tres is a party boy - lots of happily married men still like to party occasionally. I wonder if he pulled some awful stunt or puked everywhere. Because the Mrs. is not happy about it.

[Empress1]

Sam - Please go on Bondage.com and find a Master to help you work out your control issues. If Neil don't go that way he don't go that way. Stop making him feel bad or being himself.

When Sam said she wanted to be "put in her place" I was like, ok, she wants a master. She doesn't want people to know about it, but that's what's happening here.

[BunnySlippers]

Re Neil and Sam: I think most women would love to have a husband who wants to cook and clean and share the chores 50/50. I can't believe that it's a problem for Sam. In what century does she live in? If she really wants to have such an old-fashioned marriage setup, then maybe she could start by being less domineering and confrontational.

 

Her dad is great, though.

 

I agree about Ashley: if she has so little time and if it's so hard for her to talk and warm up to a stranger, she shouldn't have done this.

 

I wonder if David really keeps nagging her to talk, or we only see those few minutes when he tries. In tonight's episode he talked about wanting 15 minutes with Ashley to discuss their situation. So does that mean that this was the first time he brought it up that day, or this was the umpteenth time he'd talked about it? He certainly seems like he's getting more and more frustrated.

[EverybodyIsACritic]

Sam was hinting to Neil that she wanted a 50 Shades of Grey sort of thing in a relationship, right?  No wonder she keeps acting like she does to Neil, she's trying to see what his limits are and hoping she gets "punished."

That made me throw up in my mouth a little.

[Booger666]

I thought it was funny Ashley refuses to hug David but was fine hugging Pepper. By now she has spent more time with David than Pepper so where is the "stranger danger do not hug" exclamations she loves to spout?

[PityFree]

The only thing Ashley and David have in common is facial hair. I agree she is repulsed by him. There is no legit reason for her participation in this show.

Ha! Yes! I noticed her mustache during the honeymoon!

[EverybodyIsACritic]

David wants to hurry up and have that huge party with his friends to show Ashley off before she dumps him.

[spankydoll]

When Sam said she wanted to be "put in her place" I was like, ok, she wants a master. She doesn't want people to know about it, but that's what's happening here.

And acting like a bratty sub won't turn him into Christian Gray! I don't know how they missed that during the vetting process. 

[Lion18]

In the coming attractions David tries to kiss Ashley and she turns her face away. So he's still trying

[BunnySlippers]

About Tres talking about consummating their marriage: Apparently, it was the producer who kept pushing for an answer about it. "Yes or no?" Ugh. Just one more sign that shows how much they manipulate everything on this show.

 

And I still don't understand why the "experts" think it's a good idea to pair opposites. This is not a therapy show where people sign up to get fixed. They (supposedly) sign up to get matched to someone who would be a good fit. Being opposites (like David and Ashley) is not a sure recipe for a good marriage, especially not when it's marriage at first sight.

[grumpypanda]

Vanessa is a drama queen. He went out and got drunk with his dad and uncle, big deal. They've been together for two weeks straight, maybe he just needed a break. As long as it's not something that he does on a weekly basis cut the guy some slack. She said that she was scared of being in the house while he was drunk. Scared of what, he's passed out, go to bed! She went out too so I don't know what her problem was.

Anyway, I'm starting to see Ashley's point of view, David would drive me bananas with his constant relationship talk. He was even reading a book about relationships. He needs to chill out a bit and give her some space.

I understand how he feels too because talking to Ashley is like talking to a brick wall but at some point he needs to give up. I really think these two need to stop these forced conversations and just try to have fun together. Maybe get drunk and play Scrabble together or watch a marathon of some really cheesy tv show. They need to do something light to break the ice.

[EverybodyIsACritic]

In the coming attractions David tries to kiss Ashley and she turns her face away. So he's still trying

And she is still using the dog as a cockblocker.

[Trixie Belden]

Ha! Yes! I noticed her mustache during the honeymoon!

 

My husband said if Ashley really wants him to leave her alone, all she has to do is stop shaving her moustache.

[cherry slushie]

I haven't been here in a while, so forgive me if this has been mentioned 1000 times already. Although I don't like the way Sam is handling the situation, I kind of sympathize with her.  When you're not attracted to someone physically, it's really easy to focus on the negative.  I don't think there is anything he can do to make her want him, not even strapping her to a bed and making her call him Master Beard Daddy Mo Fo.

 

ETA:  Every time I look at Neil's hair, I can't help thinking of "The Barber" Seinfeld episode;

 

Edited January 6, 2016 by cherry slushie

[belladonna77]

Anyway, I'm starting to see Ashley's point of view, David would drive me bananas with his constant relationship talk. He was even reading a book about relationships. He needs to chill out a bit and give her some space.

 

He's so needy!  It drives me crazy.  And all he did was talk about how shitty Father's Day was for him.  Ashley's biological father isn't involved in her life, she has a step-father, but Father's Day has to be hard for her too.

[Straycat80]

This season so far is painful to watch.

Ashley is so not into David. She can't get further away from him. I was surprised she went into the bathroom to comfort him when he had his outburst.

I don't believe Sam is into Neil either. I zone out when she talks.

Vanessa needs to chill out. It wasn't like Tres was out with his single friends boozing it up and cruising for women. He was with his Dad and uncle. She's being too nit picky.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Straycat80

[Spatty250]

David wants to hurry up and have that huge party with his friends to show Ashley off before she dumps him.

[BonnieLass]

Tres posted on Twitter that the reason Vanessa was upset about his drinking was because she couldn't reach him on the phone. He got home before she did and he plugged his phone into the charger, but it was on vibrate. She called but he didn't hear it. She came home unaware that he was already home and asleep in the bed. So that scared her a bit. Was glad to see she got over it...but then, someone said something on Twitter along the lines of, "No more liquor" and he replied, "Yep, pretty much". Not sure if he was joking or not.

[Madding crowd]

I think there is a difference between having some drinks and passing out drunk. i don't like that level of drinking and I think Vanessa is right to be concerned. You can go out and have fun without being falling down drunk. And I'm starting to like Sam a lot more than cold fish Ashley. Sam at least gives Neil hugs and makes jokes and smiles sometimes. Ashley looks supremely annoyed that David is in her vicinity. I think she wants him to just pay for the house and leave her alone.

 

David does seem a little needy, but I think he is just trying to get some progress going on the relationship. Ashley should never have agreed to be on a show like this. I am an introvert myself, but I would never be that rude to someone who I agreed to marry. I don't think the book David was reading was a relationship book; I think it was one of those books about sales relationships which all of those sale guys read all the time.

 

I'm also not sure Sam was talking about anything sexual. She obviously prefers a guy to be a bit more manly than Neil appears to be; to be honest I prefer men like that myself. Sometimes when you are in charge at work all day you don't want to have to make all the decisions at home. I would sure appreciate the cooking and cleaning though!

 

Weird as it sounds, if I had to predict one couple to last a while it would be Sam and Neil. They are both trying hard in their own ways to make things work. Tres and Vanessa are both quiet people and It is hard to get a read on whether Tres really wants to be married or not. Ashley is just a negative, bitter person and I can't see her trying at all. David is trying too hard to make up for it, but it will never work. I almost think Ashley wants the same kind of man Sam wants, a guy who will be aggressive and not take her bullshit. David is not that guy. 

[Spatty250]

I was thinking the exact same thing! Dacid wants to show her off but Ashley doesn't want to get close with him and his friends because she already has one foot out the door. She just wants to enjoy the house for another 4 weeks before she calls it quits.

[Spatty250]

I was thinking the exact same thing! Dacid wants to show her off but Ashley doesn't want to get close with him and his friends because she already has one foot out the door. She just wants to enjoy the house for another 4 weeks before she calls it quits.

David wants to hurry up and have that huge party with his friends to show Ashley off before she dumps him.

I was thinking the exact same thing!!

[PityFree]

Ashley is so not into David. She can't get further away from him. I was surprised she went into the bathroom to comfort him when he had his outburst.

She didn't run in there to comfort him. She ran in there to comfort the $175,000 potential income she thinks she married. Edited January 6, 2016 by PityFree

[Snarklepuss]

When Cilona said he was hoping David would "burst through" Ashley's boundaries, I wanted to burst through my TV and ring his fat neck for putting two such polar opposites together.  Ashley is so closed off she would make David look like a blithering loudmouthed fool by comparison.  And I don't think he's that bad.  So he wants to have a big party at the house and she can't go outside her comfort zone ONCE to please him?  Jesus, there's no hope for her.  I get it that she's not into him but at least go through the freaking motions, how hard could it be?  She signed up for this, now she doesn't want to follow it through.  I don't believe her that it takes her that long to warm up to someone - She just doesn't want to get involved with HIM.  If he was her type she'd be all over him like white on rice.  But she still wouldn't open up even then, I'm sure.  That goes beyond just introversion, it's because she's got issues.

 

After seeing Sam's Dad I realized she "wants a guy just like the guy that married dear ol' mom".  In this case a gun totin' cigar chompin', military hat wearin', cussin', good ol' boy for a match.  Makes me think they should look at the opposite sex parent if there is one for some guidance in matching these people.  Neil couldn't be further away from Sam's Dad if he tried.  When he said "guns don't kill people, people do" I thought he was being facetious or engaging in veiled sarcasm.  While I think Sam is a nut job, I totally get why she is upset with him - He is far too guarded and stiff on camera.  He's not being himself.  I get it that the camera is intimidating but we the audience want to see this "real" Neil.  Now that I know there is one somewhere I am curious and a little pissed off that we haven't been seeing him.  Perhaps they should have matched him with Ashley. He's the "dark" type she says she wants plus he's just as stiff and guarded as she is on camera.  That said, I actually loved Sam's Dad.  Then again my Dad is a cross between Neil and Sam's Dad, military hat included, but thankfully no beard!

 

Vanessa, ever the optimist.  I just know her stomach is churning worrying that he would do this every week.  He acted like it was a rare occasion but how rare?  I just know she's obsessing on it.  And I don't blame her, either.  She doesn't know his frequency of anything.  I'd probably feel the same way if I saw a guy do that.  No pass-out drunks in my family.  Not in my comfort zone even on an occasional basis.  Mr. Snarklepuss has never done that to me, thankfully.  I still fear the train coming for her....

[anarchyangel84]

I honestly don't know if Ashley could be into ANYONE. She's just so..... awkward & she has no personality. Sometimes I feel awkward for her because David will say something & she'll give him this look of confusion. (In the beginning of the Golden Girls, Blanche met Rose at this bulletin board- Rose was looking for a place to live. Rose said something & Blanche said something along these lines: I can tell we're going to get along- you seem wild. Rose said something like she lives on the edge because sometimes she eats raw cookie dough. That makes me think of Ashley.) Sometimes I think she's attracted to David & sometimes she treats him like he's got scales all over his skin. David's constant poking & pushing is going to push Ashley away. I think that if he'd just give her the space everyone but him sees she needs, she may come around. It did crack me up when Ashley said that she thought of herself as a talkative person. WTF?!?

I don't think Sam is that bad- but I don't think she knows what she wants. She's very impulsive. When she finally does sit & think about the situation, she can be understanding, The problem is that she doesn't do it very often- she just speaks or acts. I really like Neil, & I get why he doesn't want to swear or do anything that would embarrass his family, I don't know why Sam has to give him such a hard time. He's been so patient & so sweet & he's taken a lot of crap from her. I wish she'd get out of her own way!!

This is the first time Vanessa did something that really disappointed me. She talks about Tres not being ready for marriage. If she's going to bring her insecurities from past relationships to her marriage, I think she's the one who's not ready. This is the first time they've really been apart since they got married & she gives him crap for going out with his Dad on Fathers Day! That's not cool. It would be hard to trust someone like that after 2 weeks. But it has to start somewhere, sometime.

[Snarklepuss]

And I still don't understand why the "experts" think it's a good idea to pair opposites. This is not a therapy show where people sign up to get fixed. They (supposedly) sign up to get matched to someone who would be a good fit. Being opposites (like David and Ashley) is not a sure recipe for a good marriage, especially not when it's marriage at first sight.

 

As you know I've posted about this myself - Sometimes I think these therapists live in some fantasy world about how relationships work.  Not everyone is a therapist who tries to bring people out of their shells, and most people would find that unbelievably annoying if done to them.  They have to stop imposing what works for them on other people and listen to what they want.  When I tried to think of any couples I know who are complete opposites in terms of introversion/extroversion I could only think of two, and both are very unhappy marriages.  Most successful couples I know meet somewhere in between and are not at complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

[Jack Sampson]

I honestly don't know if Ashley could be into ANYONE.

Look at the way she perked up when David mentioned money last episode. She'd be into someone with a lot of money and model looks who is devoted to her - yet has no needs of his own that she has to consider. Unfortunately for Ashley, she doesn't have to looks, intelligence, personality or youth to attract such a man. In the real world, (outside of the show) even David wouldn't bother with her.

As you know I've posted about this myself - Sometimes I think these therapists live in some fantasy world about how relationships work.  Not everyone is a therapist who tries to bring people out of their shells, and most people would find that unbelievably annoying if done to them.  They have to stop imposing what works for them on other people and listen to what they want.  When I tried to think of any couples I know who are complete opposites in terms of introversion/extroversion I could only think of two, and both are very unhappy marriages.  Most successful couples I know meet somewhere in between and are not at complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

The thing is, therapists are paid to work with people. In a social situation, there has to be some payoff for investing all of that time and effort. I have a feeling that, with Ashley, the problem isn't that she's in her shell, it's that she's an empty shell.

[seasick]

I can't with David and Neil anymore.   Forget the women.  Yes Ashley's a waste of space in this and Sam's into domineering macho men and shaming Neil for being Neil.  .Whatever.

 

Neil especially kills me.  .  Neil has no needs, no opinions, likes, dislikes.  He's committed to the experiment and it matters not who they match him with.  I really thought he had a better sense of self and a greater regard for his own needs and desires.in a mate.  Nope.  don't matter. If you stay married, it's a success.  Put-downs, browbeats, criticism..it's all okay.  Making it work apparently means getting the girl to stay..  Any girl.

 

David is delusional.  "My great wife???"    Who are you kidding??   You have no fun, no interests in common, no conversation, no sex,  ,the girl can't stand you--  David , just get a mannequin then.  It's the same thing.   I did have some hope for David when he started to push Ashley a bit and challenge her, and even expressed dissatisfaction!!!   But..then..back to the delusion... "I have a great wife".  If you insist upon your delusions then work on feeding them and leave Ashley alone.  She's great!

Edited January 6, 2016 by seasick

[ketose]

Except for Vanessa and Tres consummating, not much momentum this week.

 

If Sam wants a good ole boy, she's going to have to be about 70% less exasperating. Neil is good for her because he let's her rage. That's actually his version of dominance. He's mostly immune to her drama. I think Neil's "guns don't kill people" line was a joke where he was convincing himself he wouldn't die from shooting off a big gun.

 

I noticed Vanessa and Tres actually dressed up for Dr. Schwartz (I'm not referring to her as a soft drink). The others kind of looked like they rolled out of bed. If Tres is a lightweight, he may have only had a few drinks and didn't necessarily "pass out" drunk. They're not out of the woods, though.

 

David comes off as super needy, but I can understand. Ashley shows no signs of being interested in their relationship. If they consummated, he'd probably do a lot less "are we okay? How's our relationship going?" crap. Right now, it's the only feedback he gets. I am seriously starting to wonder is she is gay and can't handle facing it. Do we know why the engagement ended?

 

I'm so glad this season, the women are worse than the men.

[Kareem]

I still can't stand Sam. This sloppy, self-centered clod has been nothing but rude, tries to emasculate him, then insists he has two personalities and the shrinks go along with it and view this as an opportunity for him to open up? Maybe he would've been more open from the jump if he hadn't been matched with that gorilla.

Ditto David. Maybe he wouldn't be such a persistent and perennial butt kisser if he wasn't dealing with a corpse. What if he had been matched with a girl who was at least willing to go along with this "experiment"? His outburst was weird, though. He needs to tame that daddy dragon. He might also have to give up any hope of having parties while he's bound to the corpse, as this would include strangers and acting like a human being.

On to the seemingly normal couple. I'm with Snarckle on this. Who cares if he goes out. It's the bombed out of his gourd move that she questions and has to wonder if it's part of his routine. They're too new to know. Still rooting for these two...

Father's Day - Samantha's dad seems like an ok guy, and seems to realize, from what we saw at the wedding and via Skype, that his gorilla is a handful. Maybe they cut out the part where Ashley was saying or doing something nice for the stepfather who was so emotional at her wedding. Haha. Tres and Vanessa had a houseful. She cooked, they entertained, they were surrounded by people who love them, get them and support them. WTG and JMHO

[Liberty]

Ashley's lack of commitment is reminiscent of last season's character Sean.

 

Like that character, Ashley was an inappropriate choice for the show.  

 

Will being on this show and trusting the poser experts be as big a mistake in David's life as it was in Davina and Jaclyn's?

 

Good thing David's mother got another payday appearance on the show.

[sleekandchic]

I'm not getting a sense from David of a pathetic neediness or clinginess. I do see a true frustration and grave disappointment in how this exercise is turning out for him. I think he actually wants to believe that the Experts did a good job matching him and Ashley, and, therefore, he just cannot understand her coldness and lack of effort. God. The way she just stares at him when he tries to converse, and the way she can barely grunt a one-word reply, are maddening! She is so totally wrapped up in herself and can't concentrate or care about Dave's feelings for more than two minutes at a clip. How dare he want to talk or discuss Dr Pepper's advice! I think Ashley borderline hates Dave and is just counting down the days. Her need-to-study excuse is just an excuse. She agreed to the show in bad faith. I agree that Dave's melting down over dead dad was a strange kind of non sequitur, but I think either he was trying to get ANY kind of human reaction from Ashley, or else we don't know what directly preceded his breakdown.

Then we have the lovely, feral Sam. She reminds me a little of a bad-version Mowgli, but Mowgli was 100x more civilized and sweet than Sam will ever be. When she sits on her countertops in shorts and cross-legged, with her crotch directly in the guy's line of sight, I feel she is taunting Neil with her unattainable self. What the HELL does she want from Neil? I'm not sure her references to domination have anything at all to do with sex. I think she hates everything about Neil, and it wouldn't matter how he tried to bend over backwards or walk on his hands or stand on his head. The guy is not everyone's dream come true, but Sam NEVER gave him a chance. Sam was NOT a viable candidate for MAFS and never should have been selected. Even Pepper looked confused by Sam's incomprehensible doubletalk.

Vanessa and Tres consummated. Suddenly, the very next day, Vanessa was no longer cheerful, touchy-feely or giggly. The unpacking scene with her sister took place before Tres's clubbing and drinking, and I detected lots of rolling of eyes and sneering dissatisfaction when Vanessa chatted with her sis. Maybe Vanessa was disappointed with Tres in bed, and maybe she either doesn't know how to convey that or maybe Tres was not responsive to her when she did convey her needs. Lots of conjecture there from me, but I sure don't believe that Vanessa went from her giggly-happiness to surly-sourpuss over Tres's one night out with his dad and uncle. Her anger and disappointment were misplaced.

Speaking of dads and uncles, I was not impressed with any of the elders and their "lofty" Words of Wisdom and grace before meals and macho shooting-range philosophies. I'm including David's mother in that, too. I think they're all full of shit, and way too ON for the cameras. And man they love the sound of their own voices. Oh, Sam, says General Dad, Neil WANTS to make you happy! Keep yourself open to him! As Sam nods and nods, and crosses her eyes. Like either one of them believes their own lies!

Same goes for Dr Pepper. Geez, those home visits were useless and excruciating to watch! WTH? The bromides and sap coming out her mouth were embarrassing. How these "experts" rationalize their participation in this masquerade season after season is disgusting.

I noticed Belle T. Dog looking lovingly at Dave in the bedroom scenes, and she actually maneuvered her head under his hand for a pat. It was very sweet and showed me that a dog had more empathy and emotional intelligence than her (quasi) human mistress. Belle will miss Dave once Ashley says so long, sucker. Why did she volunteer for this show, again? She has tied with Sean V for my Number One Phony Two-Face Award of MAFS villains.

I'm pretty sure production will manage to wheedle at least one couple into staying married after six weeks, but it won't be legit. Just like Basement Ryan and Jaclyn, the anointed couple will go back to their respective homes and soon announce their split.

[Snarklepuss]

Ditto David. Maybe he wouldn't be such a persistent and perennial butt kisser if he wasn't dealing with a corpse. What if he had been matched with a girl who was at least willing to go along with this "experiment"? His outburst was weird, though. He needs to tame that daddy dragon. He might also have to give up any hope of having parties while he's bound to the corpse, as this would include strangers and acting like a human being.

 

The truth is that anyone would look needy next to someone who makes them do all the work to keep the relationship going.  David's doing the work for two in that couple.  David reminds me of me when I dated a guy not unlike Ashley, only he would tell me he liked me, meanwhile he acted like a cold fish.  It made no sense.  I later realized he didn't really like me but just wanted to hang around long enough to get into my pants, which never happened.  He kept telling me I was "so needy".  What?  I had never been told that in my life and couldn't believe he would say that.  The truth was that he didn't have any emotional interest in me at all so of course I was going to look "needy".  Thank goodness I got out of THAT.  David should be packing his bags.

As far as David's outburst goes, it seemed to be heavily edited and could have been shown out of context to what was really going on.  Not saying he doesn't need to tame that Daddy issue, but it looked to me like they were trying to make Ashley look better than she really was in that situation.  She supposedly showed him so much warmth?  Interesting that it took place off camera and I really didn't buy it that she was all that empathetic.

[moonxyz]

Pardon my French but the experts are so fucking irresponsible and unethical;

 

How could they match Sam & Neil, when both have strong yet opposite views on gender roles in a marriage? How come their extensive bullshit testing didn’t reveal that? By the way, I know you guys love Neil but he still comes across as an asexual virgin to me. 

 

Ashley still continues to be the shittiest contestant ever. This guy tells you about his deceased father and you can’t even give him a hug? Or hold his hand? No empathy in sight; And after using her dog as a shield, she now uses her homework to limit contact with David.
I applaud David for coming across as less needy and desperate this episode. But he’s a fool for attempting to kiss her next week. He’s going to be humiliated in front of the whole world.

 

Tres Russell. I told you so. His player ways are coming out. Bit by bit. The piggish way he went about announcing that he banged his wife. Him coming home drunk and being unreachable. Not even 1 month married. Lol. Vanessa knows who he is. She must not listen to the experts who are going to mislead her. She knows and I now she got married to a guy who is nearly as interested in being married as she is.

[kam]

the thing that annoys me the most about this show is how they just place solo interview/confessionals anywhere. they just jam them in places where they don't even belong. most of the time the person isn't even talking about the the clip they just played before it. it's deceiving.

[cinsays]

   I'm not crazy about Ashley, but I thought she had a test the next day she was worried about and was needing to study.  If that is the case, I think David should have just backed off until the next day to have this big 15 minute discussion. But he would not let it go, so I think he was being insensitive to her needs at the moment.  

   True, she is not acting very warm towards him at all, but this was not the time to sort out feelings while she was obviously distracted.

   I thought it implied that she did try to comfort him after his breakdown about his dad.  They didn't show it, but they had to save time to put in the "expert" scenes, so there was no time for that.

  And, about the big party........I thought she suggested they first have a small party with just a few friends before the big gala. That seems like a fair request to me.  I don't think she said she never wanted a big party, just wanted to ease into it.

   I would be seeing red flags too if I was Vanessa and I came home to find my new husband passed out drunk.  Having a few is ok, but to get that wasted?  She already was of the impression that he had been a player in the past, this could not have sat very well on top of that worry.

   I don't care much for Sam, but she did seem to be wanting to figure out if this could work and was listening to advice.  Will she follow any of it? who knows.   Neil does need to have an opinion instead of just going along with anything she wants.  

That gets frustrating to be the decider all that time. 

  

[ClareWalks]

http://www.amazon.com/Snap-Strategies-Couples-Everyday-Relationship/dp/1580055621

 

That's the book David was reading. Written by Dr. Pepper! Suddenly it all makes sense.

[Sunnyside]

Someone please wake David up out of this Groundhog Day he's living!

Vanessa now has legitimate concern. Yes Tres got drunk one time with his dad, but seems this is his idea of "having fun." Tell that to your kids when all they see is dad laid out on the couch drunk every weekend or worse abusive from out of control drinking.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Sunnyside

[Crazy Bird Lady]

I have a feeling that Tres doesn't see his Dad and uncle as parental figures.  He seems to have been raised by his Aunt.  There is probably a reason for that, and it may (I say may) very well be that Tres' Dad isn't a very 'stable' influence on his life - a partner in escapades.

Absolutely. What Tres has for a male parental figure is (apparently) an alcoholic, and probably also a perpetual womanizer.

It is OK for Trey to hang out alone with his dad and his uncle on Father's Day. Normally, that would be a really good thing. But I feel Vanessa's pain at the realization that for Trey "chilling out and having a little fun" means drinking until he goes unconscious! 

The fact that he apparently thought Vanessa should be OK with that tells me that Trey is definitely not a good candidate to father children.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Crazy Bird Lady

[zxy556575]

David reminds me of a situation with a friend who had a huge, ongoing argument with his dad over belongings he had stored in his parents' basement. His dad kept nagging him to come get his shit and my friend would get super angry about being nagged. My suggestion to him that, you know, the nagging would stop if he moved his shit out, was not well received. So I personally can't really fault David for continuing to push when nothing changes. Also, neediness in a partner wouldn't really bother me, so there's that. I'd much rather someone rely on and need me than be distant and uncommunicative. Ideally both partners would feel the same, of course.

 

By the way, I know you guys love Neil but he still comes across as an asexual virgin to me.

 

Maybe that's appealing to some.  :)

 

Who knows what kind of libido Sam has going on, but if both partners share a low-ish sex drive, then going biking, camping, shopping, cooking and cleaning together can be very companionable activities and a way to show affection.

Edited January 6, 2016 by lordonia

[qtpye]

Neil especially kills me.  .  Neil has no needs, no opinions, likes, dislikes.  He's committed to the experiment and it matters not who they match him with.  I really thought he had a better sense of self and a greater regard for his own needs and desires.in a mate.  Nope.  don't matter. If you stay married, it's a success.  Put-downs, browbeats, criticism..it's all okay.  Making it work apparently means getting the girl to stay..  Any girl.

 

 

It would be how someone would act if they were looking for a beard.  I know a person who came out at middle age.  He said when he was younger he was so closeted that he could not admit his desires even to himself.  He said he came off asexual and was the nicest guy around in hopes that a female would stay with him to keep up the facade.  Of course most ladies realized something was up and he never did get that beard.  Lucky, for him, as he is now much happier being himself and does not have a marriage to get over.

 

I have no idea if Neil is gay.  However, I think that he is the only one working with arranged marriage rules in the strictest sense.  If you do not like the one your with then you suck it up and make it work (not always the best idea), unless she is chasing you around the kitchen with a knife.  The problems is Sam is almost repulsed by what she perceives as extreme passivity.

 

I think she does not mind that Neil would cook and clean.  it just anything he says that does not match up to her idea of manliness is going to repulse her even more.  It's like he said " I like to dress up as a butterfly and prance around meadows" (nothing wrong with this) and as other posters have pointed out, the problem lies with her not him.

 

I do not think Neil is a good match for Sam.  I think the experts and the show were so burned by last season's scandal with the men they went out of their way to find guys who were extremely gung ho about marrying anyone (which is in keeping with the attitude of the project).  They just hoped that Sam's weirdness would mesh with Neil's strangeness.

[Vinyasa]

 

This season so far is painful to watch.

 

Extremely painful to watch!!   And this episode was soooooooooooooo boring.

 

I am missing Sean and Davina (and I never thought I'd say that). There is nothing to talk about with these Season 3 people. They are just dull.