S03.E05: Moving In

[Neurochick]

True, but I think a lot of the disparity is comparing expensive private schools with relatively cheaper state and local schools.  I think private school tuition has gone up way out of proportion to reality.  There are cheaper alternatives and if I were someone like Ashley today I'd go to a local or state school with cheaper tuition.  My student loans with housing at a private school left me at $22,000 in debt in 1980 money (which is about $67,000 in today's money.  My parents did not quality me for "financial aid" mostly because I was an only child so other children were not factored into their income).  The tuition for a local/state school today without housing would be about $6,500 a year, so that's around $35,000 in student loans.  Considering that my starting salary in 1980 was only $12,000 a year in today's money that would be only $32,000 a year today, which actually would be unheard of today for what I did then (it would be higher - Glass Door says starting salary for what I did would be $41,000 today, which is still low but not as low), while my student loan debt would translate into about $67,000 in today's money.  Plus my apartment was $400 a month in the Bronx, which translates into $1,225 a month in today's money, and wasn't in a higher end neighborhood.  So sure, it's tough now but is it that much tougher?   Also, I remember when CUNY started charging tuition - at precisely the semester I entered college (Fall of '76).  Contrary to what many younger people are led to believe today, people my age didn't come of age in a golden era when everything was easy - I came of age during a city wide fiscal crisis, gas prices skyrocketing, double digit inflation and a recession.  I didn't even get my first credit card until I was 30.  The mantra back then was "Want a job?  Get experience.  Want experience?  Get a job"  Same with credit.  It was no piece of cake.  So to the younger generation today I say, "Wah, wah, wah, cry me a river".  Personally I think it's just that many of them were raised to believe that the world was their oyster and that everything was going to be smooth sailing for them to equal or even outdo their parents' entire lifetime achievements in terms of affluence by the time they were 35.  When that did not happen, it was a rude shock.  My husband and I had to take furniture in off the street for the first 10 years of our marriage.  Would someone like princess Ashley EVER lower herself enough to do that?  NO.  So that's why they stay home if you ask me.

 

Good points, but here's the thing.  The belief in America was always that the next generation did better than the previous generation.  Today the younger generation is facing the fact that the might not do as well as their parents;and I think that's causing them a lot of anxiety.  

 

I think there are a few things wrong with Ashley, mainly having no emotions, but I wouldn't call her a princess.  I think that women, historically have been taught that you have to find a man to provide for you; that comes from the time when women really didn't work outside the home, when there were actual quotas for women in certain fields and when a woman did get a job, they were usually low paying.  

[izabella]

Good points, but here's the thing.  The belief in America was always that the next generation did better than the previous generation.  Today the younger generation is facing the fact that the might not do as well as their parents;and I think that's causing them a lot of anxiety.

 

Lol, I remember people saying that exact thing back in the early 90's about that fresh-out-of-college generation...which are now the parents of today's college grads.  Gen X in the 90's was the generation that spawned the term "McJobs" because college grads and PhD's had to get jobs at McDonald's and as barristas at Starbucks, and everyone was so worried that that would be the generation that didn't do as well as their parents.  And then the tech boom happened.  Even when that tech bubble burst, Gen X did just fine for itself and are now in their late 40's boo-hooing their kids' futures. 

[qtpye]

I think there are a few things wrong with Ashley, mainly having no emotions, but I wouldn't call her a princess.  I think that women, historically have been taught that you have to find a man to provide for you; that comes from the time when women really didn't work outside the home, when there were actual quotas for women in certain fields and when a woman did get a job, they were usually low paying.

 

 

The pink collar ghetto.  I remember reading a story by Margaret Atwood about college educated women with jobs that were expected to quit their jobs as soon as they got married (this is not what the story was about, but was what the main character was going through).  It was thought that since you know had a man to support you financially and would be busy taking care of your family and home, that you should give up the job to a single woman who has to support herself and does not have family responsibilities.

 

How the world has changed.

[Neurochick]

What I noticed about these three women is that they do seem more "traditional" is it?  Vanessa said she believed in the Southern tradition of pleasing your man, cooking for him, etc; Sam wanted Neil to pay 60% while she pays 40%.  Ashley, I'm not sure about because she's a student, but maybe she came on this show to find someone to support her?  

 

I thought it was interesting when Tres said, "Vanessa is beautiful and she can cook," like that's all he needs from a woman.  LOL

Edited December 31, 2015 by Neurochick

[Soup333]

I wouldn't blame Neil if he was "someone else "off camera.

Floating out of his body and going to his happy place may be needed to get through the next 5 weeks of this ordeal.

Locking himself in a closet and rocking back and forth to self sooth sounds delightful compared to dealing with his wife.

 

I was thinking Xanax. Or at least some good marijuana. She'd never smell it with all those wax melts. 

[Spatty250]

Ashley is a very reserved woman but she isn't right for this show.  I don't think she is a gold digger just very NOT into her husband. Living in a nice museum is just a bonus for having to put up with David for another 5 weeks.  I bet she kept her apartment. David would have made the right woman a great husband.  Unfortunately he was matched to Ashley. 

Samantha is really a man, so (Sam) can't relate to being in a marriage with another man.  She/he should never have been cast on this show. She needs help fighting her inner demons.  She needs and wants a demon slayer in her life.  Poor Neil is nowhere near capable of handling her crazy.  Sam grates on everyone's nerves. 
I am starting to question "What were the experts thinking"?  I am sure they and the producers were thinking "These people will make good TV even if they are the worst choices for husbands and wives."
Tres and Vanessa have the best start.  They are open to the prospect of being husband and wife.  Even if you think their ideas are out of step with the times, the husband being the main bread winner seems to suit them and that's all that matters.  I like the fact that they are starting with no furniture and have to build their lives together.  It is laying a foundation for their future.  They will always remember these days with a smile.  I hope Tres appreciates what he has in Vanessa and isn't stringing her along.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Spatty250

[BonnieLass]

I will cut Sam a tiny bit of slack on her "aromatherapy" since I have a Yankee Candle problem myself! (right now I'm holding myself back from checking out the end of the year sale!)

I have the same problem with Yankee Candles. Your post inspired me to check out a department store's end of year sale on them... which reminded me that I had a store rewards credit that would expire in a few days... so, thanks to you, I was able to order 16 Yankee Candles for free, and only had to pay $9 in shipping. Thanks for the inspiration!  ❤

[jamblastx]

I do!!! I do!!! I loved that show!! The first season was amazing. Kristen Whig was on it! The first Joe Schmo (can't remember his name) was such a great guy. I can totally see Neil wondering if this was a version of that since Sam is so over the top that she has to be acting.

Joe Schmo was fantastic....and yes, not only did it give us Kristen Wiig, but Natasha Leggero and David Hornsby (Cricket on Always Sunny in Philadelphia) as well.  And the first 'Schmo' was Matt Kennedy Gould...and no, I did not look that up...somehow I remember that but have no idea what I ate for lunch yesterday.

[Cherrio]

I have the same problem with Yankee Candles. Your post inspired me to check out a department store's end of year sale on them... which reminded me that I had a store rewards credit that would expire in a few days... so, thanks to you, I was able to order 16 Yankee Candles for free, and only had to pay $9 in shipping. Thanks for the inspiration!  ❤

Seems like there are a lot of us "collectors" around.   I am not normally a fan of Yankee Candles (too sooty) but I love one particular scent.  Its discontinued but I found a bunch of them at a TJ Maxx.    Bought those, then went to the other 2 Maxx's and bought every single one. I think I am good for a year or two now.

          Don't ask me about soap, bubble bars and bath bombs.     I am a fan of stocking up of things I use. :)

 

Back to the show.     I really don't have as much as a problem with Sam as most everyone else does.  Sure, she is a little over the top and high strung.    Ashley does not bother me that much either.  I give her credit for staying at the wedding. I saw how crestfallen she was when she saw David.  I get the ....they are matched for a reason theme of the show, but that ONLY works when you have known the person for a long time, not meeting for the first time.    First impression meetings are mostly physical attraction and she was obviously very turned off by him.

 I think she is just reserved and thinking more than talking.

            While Neil is just embracing the I want to be weird to be noticed routine, the only one on the show that truly creeps me out is David.  Everything about him screams run to me.    So, if I had been Ashley, there would of not even been a wedding.   

[moonxyz]

  I really don't have as much as a problem with Sam as most everyone else does.  Sure, she is a little over the top and high strung.    Ashley does not bother me that much either.  

 

I don't have that much of a problem with Sam either. I think she regretted her choice to marry a stranger and lashed out on Neil as a way to deal with her angst. Messed up I know, but she’s acting more like a human being in this episode.

 

Ashley however is up there with Sean Varreccio (sp?) is one of the shittiest and most insincere people on this show yet.

[humbleopinion]

Shitty and Insincere

Ashley

Sean

 

Just Shitty

Sam

RyanD

 

Just Insincere

Tres

Basement Ryan

[moonxyz]

Shitty and Insincere

Ashley

Sean

 

Just Shitty

Sam

RyanD

 

Just Insincere

Tres

Basement Ryan

 

I think you forgot Jamie. She's definately in the insincere category. 

[Soup333]

I think you forgot Jamie. She's definately in the insincere category. 

 

She should be in the shitty and insincere category. 

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

'It's Starting To Hit Me Right Now That Maybe My Wife Doesn't Like Me,' And Other Shocking Married At First Sight Revelations
After their rotten honeymoons, the couples must find shared housing and discuss finances. Which couple nabs the coveted title of Worst Ever this week?

[StayingAfterSunday]

Seems like there are a lot of us "collectors" around.   I am not normally a fan of Yankee Candles (too sooty) but I love one particular scent.  Its discontinued but I found a bunch of them at a TJ Maxx.    Bought those, then went to the other 2 Maxx's and bought every single one. I think I am good for a year or two now.

          Don't ask me about soap, bubble bars and bath bombs.     I am a fan of stocking up of things I use. :)

 

Back to the show.     I really don't have as much as a problem with Sam as most everyone else does.  Sure, she is a little over the top and high strung.    Ashley does not bother me that much either.  I give her credit for staying at the wedding. I saw how crestfallen she was when she saw David.  I get the ....they are matched for a reason theme of the show, but that ONLY works when you have known the person for a long time, not meeting for the first time.    First impression meetings are mostly physical attraction and she was obviously very turned off by him.

 I think she is just reserved and thinking more than talking.

            While Neil is just embracing the I want to be weird to be noticed routine, the only one on the show that truly creeps me out is David.  Everything about him screams run to me. So, if I had been Ashley, there would of not even been a wedding.   

 

You are so right about first-impressions and physical attraction.  Watching a trio of MAFS couples who lack physical compatibility/attraction is not very entertaining when there are no sparks to keep the interest burning.  

 

I think one reason Season 1 might be considered successful is the obvious physical compatibility between each couple --okay, with the initial exception of Jamie and Doug;  Doug, however, seemed manly (as opposed to Neil and even David)  and had a winning personality and a great sense of humor, which had the potential to compensate for any perceived physical shortcomings. All of the elements were present in Season 1 to keep viewers interested and satisfied.

[Pepper Mostly]

I have the same problem with Yankee Candles. Your post inspired me to check out a department store's end of year sale on them... which reminded me that I had a store rewards credit that would expire in a few days... so, thanks to you, I was able to order 16 Yankee Candles for free, and only had to pay $9 in shipping. Thanks for the inspiration!  ❤

I bow down to your superior bargain hunting skills!! 

[still hoping]

Joe Schmoe....Oh Yeah....LOL ....loved the 1st one

More and more this seems like schmoe show....but who is the joke "on"? Maybe us huh?

Since Sam/Ashley etc have been dissected I want to put out my Trey ideas....

I think he is nice but so NON committed to the whole idea

I think he fell into this and regards it as just an experiment....I fear for Vanessa when he

goes back to his buddies...and again his JOB is one that is tough on a relationship IMHO...

lot of hours;;;work hard play hard

Some guys have many friends who are married w kids....and they want to settle down..

but I do NOT think Trey and his buddies are like that>?

[Mystical chick]

One of the things that grates on me is the overuse of 'my husband' or 'my wife' as in David talking about how he didn't think he'd have to spend the first night apart from his wife. Just cheesy and takes me out of any semblance of reality. (ha! I know)

 

Cannot with Ashley - I just want to reach through and smack her. Why did she even apply (a) and (b) how the HELL did she get chosen over a zillion others? I am physically uncomfortable in her presence and .... grrr. Just grrr.

[StayingAfterSunday]

One of the things that grates on me is the overuse of 'my husband' or 'my wife' as in David talking about how he didn't think he'd have to spend the first night apart from his wife. Just cheesy and takes me out of any semblance of reality. (ha! I know)

 

Cannot with Ashley - I just want to reach through and smack her. Why did she even apply (a) and (b) how the HELL did she get chosen over a zillion others? I am physically uncomfortable in her presence and .... grrr. Just grrr.

 

Mystical Chick, I am SOOO with you on this one. The overuse of "my wife" and "my marriage" is just too much.  You're right about this annoying habit diminishing the credibility of the show.  It makes it seem like play acting on the part of the participants and also suggests that the participants - some of them, anyway - have been just living for the day when they can utter those precious, possessive terms: "My wife," "My marriage," etc.   I am thinking of the melodramatic scene of David saying, "I think my marriage is in trouble."  Sounds like something a person might say if he were married for a period of time greater than six days!

[humbleopinion]

Shitty, Insincere and Fame Monger

Jamie-Doug plays along because he likes the D list fame, too.

Ashley-MAFS is showing the decade bf and all her frenemies that she isn't a loser. She beat out thousands of other "brides" to be on the show.

 

Too Eager, Hopeful and Believed in "the Process/Experiment"

Neil

Vanessa

David

Jacklyn

Jessica

Davina

Edited January 1, 2016 by humbleopinion

[Adeejay]

Ashley stinks. I am getting really tired of her attitude. However, I think David became more attractive to her when she found out his salary.

 

I noticed that Ashley's eye lit up when David said he made $175K and offered to pay all the bills.  Now all of a sudden she feels "married".  I cannot stand this woman.  She is so undeserving of him.

[Adeejay]

 The highways in So Cal move so slow, that while it was a huge pain, it was a relief compared to Atlanta. 

 

I live in New York City and  travel often to Atlanta for business.  I feel safer driving among the crazy cabbies in Manhattan than I do on I-85 North and South in Atlanta during rush hour.  Call me a snob, but I will only stay at a hotel in Buckhead; preferably one close to Lenox Square Mall.

 

I find it interesting that Sam considers Neil, a p*ssy and a wuss, but when it comes time to pay the bills, she thinks he is all man, and therefore should contribute more. 

Edited January 1, 2016 by Adeejay

[ketose]

Does anyone here remember the Joe Schmo show?  It was a reality show about a reality show.  One "Joe Schmo" would be cast, thinking he was on a Big Brother-type reality show.  Everyone else on the show were paid professional actors with assigned personalities/roles.  They would act as ridiculous as possible, all the while trying to get "Joe Schmo" to play along without catching on that the show was actually a fake.

 

All that to say, when I see Neil I imagine him having thoughts that just maybe he's on the Joe Schmo show and wondering when they will reveal that this is all a big joke.  He just has this look about him that looks like he's trying REALLY HARD to go along with the joke.

In season 2 of Joe Schmo, they did a dating show with a man and a woman. The eventually made the show so ridiculous that one woman wouldn't buy it after a few episodes. At least the producers of that show knew when to throw in the towel and let the person in on it.

[Snarklepuss]

Good points, but here's the thing.  The belief in America was always that the next generation did better than the previous generation.  Today the younger generation is facing the fact that the might not do as well as their parents;and I think that's causing them a lot of anxiety.  

 

I think there are a few things wrong with Ashley, mainly having no emotions, but I wouldn't call her a princess.  I think that women, historically have been taught that you have to find a man to provide for you; that comes from the time when women really didn't work outside the home, when there were actual quotas for women in certain fields and when a woman did get a job, they were usually low paying.  

 

If the younger generation listens to its own biases and believes the mouthpieces that feed them the doom and gloom, they will make the worst happen to them whether or not it would happen anyway.  I know several 20 somethings that have refused to go to college because they're convinced it won't do them any good anyway.  These kids are still living at home driving pizza delivery trucks and waiting tables and not working on their futures.  With that kind of attitude, they're doomed to fail, and what's more is that it will be their own causing, not the world or the economy or their "big bad" parents' generation, who would like nothing better than for them to go to school or do something.  BTW, these kids are all solidly upper middle class, and have far more opportunities open to them than I ever had 40 years ago.  And the ironic kicker is, even if they do nothing they will succeed and do quite well for themselves because they will continue to live at home and be supported by their parents until they inherit their houses and other wealth.

 

I suppose I call someone like Ashley who is looking for a man to support her a princess because she wants the knight in shining armor to rescue her from a 500 square foot apartment and a roommate.  This is not the 1950s or even the 1980s and to me her attitude is outdated.  Maybe I see her as more of a Cinderella, but Cinderella didn't even have such high expectations.  She just wanted to get away from her evil stepsisters.

Edited January 1, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[Kareem]

One thing that annoys me a bit about this season is that personality quirks aside, two thirds of the women can't even bother to be civil. The guys may be passive or seemingly overly invested, but they certainly have their hands full with the nasty Sam and the sour Ashley. Simple conversation seems like such an effort for these little flowers. Makes me wonder how they get through life. Still can't picture Sam at a bank nor Ashley with patients.

[Snarklepuss]

One thing that annoys me a bit about this season is that personality quirks aside, two thirds of the women can't even bother to be civil. The guys may be passive or seemingly overly invested, but they certainly have their hands full with the nasty Sam and the sour Ashley. Simple conversation seems like such an effort for these little flowers. Makes me wonder how they get through life. Still can't picture Sam at a bank nor Ashley with patients.

 

 

I can see Sam as a bank manager, mostly because I don't think customer service is a priority anymore in banks these days as much as they act like it is.  People skills are not a priority in the financial services area in general.  People are promoted based on everything else, not how well they handle people.  I have a lot of first hand experience with this in my career.  Banks love pinch penny bean counter types like Sam because they think she'll be so precise.  They either don't care how she is as a human being and/or wouldn't recognize a people skill if it hit them in the face.  Unfortunately people are not given lessons on how to be decent human beings in school.  Sam was probably encouraged to develop all her skills concerning finances and bank policies, not her interpersonal skills.  So she becomes a specialist at one thing but not a very decent human being, and despite that will be able to advance to such a position.  Same thing is true about Ashley.  She is being trained to be a specialist at all the technical aspects of her job but interpersonal skills are not seen as a priority so she'll do just fine in school and have no problem getting a job.  JMHO.

Edited January 1, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[BunnySlippers]

One thing that annoys me a bit about this season is that personality quirks aside, two thirds of the women can't even bother to be civil. The guys may be passive or seemingly overly invested, but they certainly have their hands full with the nasty Sam and the sour Ashley. Simple conversation seems like such an effort for these little flowers. Makes me wonder how they get through life. Still can't picture Sam at a bank nor Ashley with patients.

 

I definitely can't imagine Ashley with patients, but I can actually imagine Sam being cheery and chipper with customers - which some people might like, but it might turn others off, especially if she does her crazy eyes/weird facial expressions thing.

[Lion18]

This season seems so carefully contrived and controlled. Seems like the producers are trying to over compensate for last years rushed mess

[seasick]

I definitely can't imagine Ashley with patients, but I can actually imagine Sam being cheery and chipper with customers - which some people might like, but it might turn others off, especially if she does her crazy eyes/weird facial expressions thing.

Seriously wondering if Sam is still at that job.  From what I've seen of her so far--(she may possibly redeem herself and become a more sympathetic character)  I can't see them keeping her in the public eye.  Maybe she'll try to convince them that she was urged to play the shrew and that's not 'really her'.     But a for now I can't see anyone putting her back into customer sales and service after seeing how insulting and rude she can be. 

[ElectricCityy]

As much as Tres is kissy, kissy with Vanessa, to me he looks uninterested half the time. I'm hoping I'm reading him wrong as I do like Vanessa but I get bad vibes from him.

[Empress1]

[Ashley] is being trained to be a specialist at all the technical aspects of her job but interpersonal skills are not seen as a priority so she'll do just fine in school and have no problem getting a job.  JMHO.

Interpersonal skills should be highly prioritized in nursing and social work, IMO - you're helping people in very difficult times in their lives. All four of my grandparents are dead and spent some time in the hospital and hospice care before they died. I've seen a lot of nurses. The ones I still speak highly of, who I praised to the hospital or hospice care facility, were warm, empathetic people. My best friend's MIL has been a nurse for something like 35 years and she's a hospice nurse now, and she's the warmest, friendliest person ever. Maybe Ashley is different at work than she is on camera/with David. I hope so, for her patients' sake. She comes across as very cold.

[Kareem]

Seriously wondering if Sam is still at that job. From what I've seen of her so far--(she may possibly redeem herself and become a more sympathetic character) I can't see them keeping her in the public eye. Maybe she'll try to convince them that she was urged to play the shrew and that's not 'really her'. But a for now I can't see anyone putting her back into customer sales and service after seeing how insulting and rude she can be.

Exactly, Seasick. It's one thing to act like a rabid animal and look like an unmade bed but the fact that she has no problem being consistently cruel and hurtful to an easy-going, nice man is disturbing. If they like her at that bank, they seem to be overlooking an awful lot.

Happy New Year, all!

[Liberty]

... If they like her at that bank, they seem to be overlooking an awful lot.

Happy New Year, all!

 

Wonder if she hasn't opened more accounts because she is a reality TV star, in spite of her pathetic social skills.

Edited January 1, 2016 by Liberty

[Snarklepuss]

Interpersonal skills should be highly prioritized in nursing and social work, IMO - you're helping people in very difficult times in their lives. All four of my grandparents are dead and spent some time in the hospital and hospice care before they died. I've seen a lot of nurses. The ones I still speak highly of, who I praised to the hospital or hospice care facility, were warm, empathetic people. My best friend's MIL has been a nurse for something like 35 years and she's a hospice nurse now, and she's the warmest, friendliest person ever. Maybe Ashley is different at work than she is on camera/with David. I hope so, for her patients' sake. She comes across as very cold.

 

I agree and I seriously hope so too.  Ashley has not impressed us with her warm side but admittedly, she could be hiding it purposely from David (and us).  She could be withholding that side of herself so as not to encourage David to think she likes him.  I can remember doing that with guys myself at times when I was younger, but fortunately I had not married any of them yet, LOL.  I think she's trying not to get sucked in and then have to back out.  She might be afraid that if she opens up and tries to get to know him, he'll move in too fast and she won't know how to get out of it gracefully.  She's avoiding feeling uncomfortable with him.  If she doesn't let him get closer to her she doesn't have to feel like she led him on and then stone cold dumped him.  If she were more mature I think she would know how to put her toe in the water to test it without worrying that he'll grab her whole foot and pull her in.  She could make it clear that she's still unsure and needs time to make up her mind.  She doesn't have to close herself off from him so much that he feels rejected in order to do that.  She signed up for this show and should be trying harder to be friendly to him even if she doesn't like him so much right away.  I'm an introvert but I actually hate it when introverts get together and rant on about how much they hate making "small talk".  Some of them seem to think anything other than deep meaningful discussions is beneath them and not worth their time.  They can't even stand talking about what they like and don't like with people who might be interested in getting to know them.  Sometimes a person has to make themselves a little uncomfortable to do the right thing with people and think about their feelings.  What would it take for Ashley to be friendlier with David?  And then people like that complain that people think they're a snob or a cold fish.  Well, duh.

[Neurochick]

I don't think there is a connection between how someone is on a job and how someone is in personal relationships.  Usually you're not in a primary relationship with people you work with so it's possible that they're fine with people they work with and then different with people they're in intimate relationships with.  

[seasick]

I don't think there is a connection between how someone is on a job and how someone is in personal relationships.  Usually you're not in a primary relationship with people you work with so it's possible that they're fine with people they work with and then different with people they're in intimate relationships with.  

I generally agree.  But those people did not have the curtain pulled back for the world to see on how they treat others in their personal relationships.   I'm sure she's polite to customers, but everyone is now aware of her nasty side.  

[Snarklepuss]

I don't think there is a connection between how someone is on a job and how someone is in personal relationships.  Usually you're not in a primary relationship with people you work with so it's possible that they're fine with people they work with and then different with people they're in intimate relationships with.  

 

That's a good point, but seeing as how people usually go into nursing to help people, I would think they would want to be caring in their personal life too.  That would be some sick, twisted person to be a caring person at work but like Ashley at home!  Although there are many ways to help people as a nurse that don't even involve a good bedside manner.  I still think Ashley is withholding that side of herself because she doesn't like David.  If he had met her expectations I think she would probably be acting a lot differently on camera.

[Gigi43]

I made a big mistake and watched the last two and half episodes in the FYI marathon tonight, the last for the first time. I can understand once in this marriage having the feelings of "I don't know this person", hit you harder, but, I'm beyond tired of the mentions of "I can't (do whatever) with someone I don't know!" The show is called Married At First Sight. It's Season 3. You signed up to marry/live with a stranger, people. Also, as I just mentioned, we all know this is about strangers marrying, there's no need to say it to the camera every 3 minutes as it sometimes feels like.

 

So on the Honeymoon it was Neil's calmness in the car that made Sam come around, which was off camera. But he's now horrible off camera? The first time she mentioned "off camera" Neil in this episode to the roommate I thought she said "what if he is", as in when this is done, who knows what she'll get, but further mentions were along the lines of there is already a different Neil. Honestly, I think everyone at least tries to be the best version of themselves on camera, I know I would be! But there's being "better" and being a different person. Sean from last season seemed super aware of this being a show, there were different versions of himself in the Interviews, with Davina, and with the "experts", Davina's claims of Sean being fake were actually obvious to everyone but the "Experts." I can believe Neil being nicer to Sam on camera, but Sam has been awful on camera, which leads me to wonder what she is like off camera. She was all over the place on that Honeymoon, and some of those places were very, very insulting. This "different" Neil, which I suspect there may be, could be one who is getting increasingly disinterested in engaging Sam when he doesn't have to, considering what has gone on already in their short time of knowing each other. This episode was probably the nicest Sam has been, and it's involved her TELLING him he'll pay 60% of the rent*.  Sam better get called out by the "Experts" at some point because not only would a man get raked over the coals for insulting a woman the way Sam has insulted him, if a woman wanted equality, and the man was all "no, I'll pay more, I'm a man", in today's time would probably result in some commentary that he's too domineering and needs to get with the times. Did Sam expect whoever her husband would be to move in to her great deal of a place? I know she did mention turning it into a rental, but she seems attached to not wanting her finances to change at all, which makes as much sense as her inability to get a lot of people don't get great deals on where they live and spend money differently than she does, and that when you marry a stranger, you will more than likely encounter someone who doesn't live exactly like you do.

 

Over all the appartment searching for everyone didn't seem to be the Drama!Task! of the last seasons where a lot of time was spent listening to everyone shocked they need to look for new places, Sure, Tres and Vanessa did go through locations but since, thankfully, they weren't 90minutes apart to begin with, it wasn't the huge deal it's been on past seasons. I still firmly believe as I did in seasons past that the show actually pays the rent of where these couples pick for the 6 weeks and probably even pre-arrange the places that are looked at and arrange that it will be easy to either leave the place after the 6 weeks or have the option to stay. So, while money was brought up by all of the couples, I'm glad we didn't get the past reruns of looking at places and making a big deal over each price.

 

Eeesh. Ashley sure likes David more now that she knows what he can afford. I get David living where he was living. He was a single guy and clearly not flashy, so that place had what he wanted/needed and it was good. Since he appears to be an actual adult, he knows when you're a married couple, since they can get a place that's more "homey", it's what you do. If Ashley hadn't found out what David could afford (I may not think they pay, but I do think the places are all in a price range they could/would pay if they wanted to stay after the 6 weeks), I think she'd be spending more nights at her place. That preview seemed weird. If I heard right, and it was hard to hear, it sounds like Ashley commented he was randomly grumpy and that David said something about it being the day his father died, I loved Ashley's dog wanting that toilet handle, and then just wanting to lick/nip her hand... but dogs are always my weakness.

 

Oh, Tres and Vanessa. Vanessa seems nice. It's refreshing after seeing so much take out or lame attempts at cooking on seasons past to see someone embracing having kitchen skills. Setting it up picnic style was cute. I want to like Tres, I think he's probably a decent guy to know. But I just don't trust him being completely into the relationship, I think Vanessa is becoming more trusting of him and that makes me have a bad feeling. Based on only a week and a half into this I can see Sam's general horribleness and Ashley being so detached (though now interested in nice things) driving those guys to want ... any other woman... Vanessa is the best of these three and Tres seems like he just does not want one woman, no matter who she is, for long.  There are a lot of Atlanta based reality shows now, Tres may just be looking for an "in" to TV, to transition to a show where he can be filmed during his $300 bar nights and being the "high end car salesmen" or whatever he calls it.  

 

ETA: On the subject of Ashley being a nurse... As someone who has been around a LOT of nurses in my life, I've experienced truly wonderful nurses... but I've met some terrible ones too. Ashley strikes me as the kind of person who likes the idea of doing something to help people, and loves the idea of people knowing she does something like nursing. Depending on where you work, nursing can pay quite well and there are so many kinds of nursing jobs (hospitals, homecare, etc) so the security of nursing probably appeals to her. But she strikes me as the kind who will come in your hospital room and only ask you the medical questions and leave, not actually engaging with patients as to how they may be "feeling" and such, and there are more of them than most people think. Look, I'm not really trying to trash the profession at all. I had to have them at home until I was 7 and my "main" one I still consider family. But I always mentally shake my head when I hear people baffled at the concept of a nurse having low tolerence, cold, etc,because they aren't as rare as people assume. I've met quite a few nurses that are how I picture Ashley to be, over my 27yrs of life.

Edited January 2, 2016 by Gigi43

[zxy556575]

It's interesting that we didn't have this same discussion about Jamie, who can also be somewhat dismissive/cold, or Sean, a weird introvert. I believe Sean is an ER nurse and Jamie is in labor and delivery. In my experience, which was primarily cardiac care, ward nurses are too busy to chat and tend not to invest very much of themselves in patients. Perhaps Ashley is planning to work in an area that doesn't require much patient contact, like coma care. ;)

[ClareWalks]

It's interesting that we didn't have this same discussion about Jamie, who can also be somewhat dismissive/cold, or Sean, a weird introvert. I believe Sean is an ER nurse and Jamie is in labor and delivery. In my experience, which was primarily cardiac care, ward nurses are too busy to chat and tend not to invest very much of themselves in patients. Perhaps Ashley is planning to work in an area that doesn't require much patient contact, like coma care. ;)

 

I can see Jamie as a decent L&D nurse, because she is perky. If she is perky AND knowledgeable, that's really all a lot of them need. Because labor is less about suffering indefinitely and more about needing to just get through pain and then yaay baby, Jamie can be the little cheerleader type.

[PityFree]

It's interesting that we didn't have this same discussion about Jamie, who can also be somewhat dismissive/cold, or Sean, a weird introvert. I believe Sean is an ER nurse and Jamie is in labor and delivery. In my experience, which was primarily cardiac care, ward nurses are too busy to chat and tend not to invest very much of themselves in patients. Perhaps Ashley is planning to work in an area that doesn't require much patient contact, like coma care. ;)

Jamie seemed to be working with the kind of patients she enjoyed (babies) and we've seen her be sweet and loving towards her nieces and nephews. We haven't had a chance to see Ashley doing more than using her dog as a cock block.

[SnarkKitty]

I knew, KNEW as soon as that dog walked on those blankets, it was gonna pee. Especially if you use pads indoors, any soft material on the floor is gonna get it.  She peed a lot too, which told me Vanessa hadn't even let her out in a while. Bad Vanessa! Yorkies are notoriously hard to train when you're actually trying; forget it if you don't even bother. And it seems Vanessa was sheepishly conceding that she probably should have trained / start training her dog per a comment from Tre (which I missed, or was off camera.).

 

Mine (female) is 10 years old, took a good few months to train, but I have never considered her more than 90% reliable, because 2-3 times a year it's gonna happen somewhere. Her brother though, I feel comfortable taking anywhere and consider him 100%. (Except for marking, which is a separate warning to other dogs thing.) 

 

I hate when I see people on TV with little dogs that aren't trained at all. They give little dogs a bad rap. It's laziness and bad scheduling. Just because the crap is smaller, it's still shit! On your floors! Untrained dogs would be a dealbreaker for me; these guys putting up with it ... I dunno. You've also got Jaime, who seems just fine with Lady going everywhere, which I don't even understand. :-P. At least Monet's little Yorkie seems to be well trained, and she doesn't seem the type to put up with pee or crap in her house.

[Evil Queen]

Agree SnarkKitty. It seemed like laziness on Vanessa's (and Jamie's) part for sure. While I can see someone like Monet be opposite of it not put up with it. I am not a dog person but common sense is to take your dog out and train it from the get go.

 

   As for the nurse thing. I have only had nurses for certain things but I have had some good ones and some very cold mean ones. I know most of it has been for having my kids. The one during my first child was great and told me she could deliver the baby if the doctor wasn't there in time and has done it before. While with my 2nd child, the night nurse was horrible and mean. She had me in tears. With my last child, the nurse kept bugging me about getting an epidural and I wanted nothing to do with it and they were in shock. Didn't have one before and wasn't going to then. On top of it things must have changed over 8 yrs because my doctor wasn't there when I needed to push and the nurse said she couldn't do anything. So I had the baby nurses and my nurse just stand there and watch as my husband stood by me and I had our baby. If I had known it was going to be that way I should have had her at home. LOL So with that I have had ones that were calming, to indifferent and the mean. Only other times I have dealt with nurses are in the doctor's office visits and those ones are always great. At least so far those have been the nicest ones I come across. I don't remember about the ones when I was in the hospital for gall stones and had to go back for a missed one. So they must have been ok. LOL I just know that I don't care to deal with those that are cold or mean. I rather have a perky Jamie type than a cold Ashley type taking care me. That is saying alot because I do find Jamie to be annoying. Sean seems the kind to just get the job done with or without a smile. The indifferent type. I do hope that with Ashley that maybe she is different when it comes to being a nurse when its time and that she is just coming off cold like because of the cameras. Which in turn comes back to why did they pick her? 

[MsPH]

Ashley is so frustrating. At times she seems like a nice normal person, like when she was telling David about the broken handle, but then at other times she's just a rude lifeless bitch. I'm an introvert too, so I get her needing some space and quiet time, but that's no excuse for being so rude. Her reaction to David's apartment was ridiculous. Yeah that sofa set was ugly and bare walls are depressing, but it wasn't that bad. She was acting like she'd stepped in some dog poo. The change in her demeanor once she heard about David's income and saw that mansion was pretty telling indeed. She seems like a pretty shallow and materialistic person. I'm also baffled by her choice of profession, since it seems so out of her comfort zone.

 

David is a bit clingy and desperate though. He is a likeable guy, but he's so desperate to marry someone, anyone. He basically said so in the first episode already and he also mentioned something about women not being ready for the same level of commitment AKA he scares them away by showing his desperation. Now he's trying desperately to make Ashley like him, even though he's obviously noticed by now that she's a total drag and doesn't even like him. I also thought his freaking out about Ashley wanting to spend one night apart was a tad ridiculous. IIRC almost all the couples have spent some nights apart between the honeymoon and moving in, maybe due to living so far apart, maybe just to get a breather. I don't think it's a big deal. Being with someone you just met 24/7 is stressful for anyone, let alone an introvert. I don't see how it's unreasonable to want one night to gather one's thoughts and relax. Yeah, they signed up for a blind marriage, but there's no reason to make it even harder than it has to be. David doesn't get that the more he tries to control the situation, the less comfortable Ashley feels.

[Chloecat]

The way I saw it, David actually didn't say he MADE $175k a year. The exact quote was: "My OTE for the year with the new job is $175,000 a year, so we have some options."  I think what that technically means is that is how much he COULD make if he hits his sales targets, not what he has actually made so far. My step-dad's OTE is super high, but that is not what he typically brings home. He actually brings home about 65-70% of his OTE. Those sales targets can make it very difficult to make the maximum amount. It just depends on the company. 

 

IMHO, there was absolutely no reason for two people to spend $3,500/month on a rental for only six weeks. Sure, it's big, it has beautiful curb appeal, but some of the rooms look like a museum (though to each their own, I suppose). They could have rented a fabulous place for half that price and saved a lot of money. To me, that does not bode well for David's ultimate responsibility when it comes to money. Spending money to impress people (Ashley, and perhaps the viewers?) is not sustainable in the long term unless a consistent income source is in place. Commission salaries are never certain.

Absolutely agree, I am a corporate recruiter for a fortune 50 co and typically OTEs are high but then so are quotas. His base is likely 80 -90K with the rest commission targets. 

[girlplease]

Ashley is so frustrating. At times she seems like a nice normal person, like when she was telling David about the broken handle, but then at other times she's just a rude lifeless bitch. I'm an introvert too, so I get her needing some space and quiet time, but that's no excuse for being so rude. Her reaction to David's apartment was ridiculous. Yeah that sofa set was ugly and bare walls are depressing, but it wasn't that bad. She was acting like she'd stepped in some dog poo. The change in her demeanor once she heard about David's income and saw that mansion was pretty telling indeed. She seems like a pretty shallow and materialistic person. I'm also baffled by her choice of profession, since it seems so out of her comfort zone.

 

David is a bit clingy and desperate though. He is a likeable guy, but he's so desperate to marry someone, anyone. He basically said so in the first episode already and he also mentioned something about women not being ready for the same level of commitment AKA he scares them away by showing his desperation. Now he's trying desperately to make Ashley like him, even though he's obviously noticed by now that she's a total drag and doesn't even like him. I also thought his freaking out about Ashley wanting to spend one night apart was a tad ridiculous. IIRC almost all the couples have spent some nights apart between the honeymoon and moving in, maybe due to living so far apart, maybe just to get a breather. I don't think it's a big deal. Being with someone you just met 24/7 is stressful for anyone, let alone an introvert. I don't see how it's unreasonable to want one night to gather one's thoughts and relax. Yeah, they signed up for a blind marriage, but there's no reason to make it even harder than it has to be. David doesn't get that the more he tries to control the situation, the less comfortable Ashley feels.

 

^^^ I agree with a lot of this!

 

David doesn't seem to be ready for a partner with her own wants and needs separate from his own - he's exhausting Ashley with constant yammering about minutiae or handwringing about their two week relationship. I got a weird sense of entitlement from him in his speech about the high-fives - that he was going to keep high-fiving Ashley because that's the only physical contact he "gets". Dude, no matter how nice you are to someone, they don't owe you ANY physical contact. He's that guy who complains about doing "all the right things" and still getting "friendzoned" - not realizing that you cannot buy or force affection, trust, or attraction. As it turns out, women are actual human beings, not vending machines.

 

The boasting about his potential income (lol) and the offer to pay all the bills was creepy too - that's a control thing. Where's my youindangergirl.gif?

[StayingAfterSunday]

^^^ I agree with a lot of this!

 

David doesn't seem to be ready for a partner with her own wants and needs separate from his own - he's exhausting Ashley with constant yammering about minutiae or handwringing about their two week relationship. I got a weird sense of entitlement from him in his speech about the high-fives - that he was going to keep high-fiving Ashley because that's the only physical contact he "gets". Dude, no matter how nice you are to someone, they don't owe you ANY physical contact. He's that guy who complains about doing "all the right things" and still getting "friendzoned" - not realizing that you cannot buy or force affection, trust, or attraction. As it turns out, women are actual human beings, not vending machines.

 

The boasting about his potential income (lol) and the offer to pay all the bills was creepy too - that's a control thing. Where's my youindangergirl.gif?

 

This is so true.  I am getting a passive-aggressive vibe from him, as well as that urgency and sense of desperation, now that he is -- what? --  two weeks into the marriage? 

If it's true that David's father died when he was quite young it could be that his mother overcompensated and spoiled him, which has possibly given him unrealistic expectations from women. If this theory is true, it could also explain his somewhat childish behavior.

Edited January 3, 2016 by StayingAfterSunday

[Zero7]

I can see Sam as a bank manager, mostly because I don't think customer service is a priority anymore in banks these days as much as they act like it is.  People skills are not a priority in the financial services area in general.  People are promoted based on everything else, not how well they handle people.

 

This is so true.  Toxic managers in business are everywhere.  Sam's lack of people skills is not unique.

 

http://www.examiner.com/article/managers-often-lack-people-skills

 

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMM_12.htm

 

http://www.businessweek.com/business_at_work/bad_bosses/archives/2008/06/why_are_there_s.html

[Zero7]

Sam said she saves 75% of her salary which means she uses only 25% of her salary to live on including groceries and everything else. Based on that I think her salary is much more than $14,400.  I don't know anyone who saves 75% of their income who makes very little because it would be impossible. I get that her mortgage share is only $300. Other stuff has to be at least $400 being cheap. That is also gas and her car.

 

If Sam is basing her living money on 25% of her income I think the $14,400 is the 25% and her total annual salary before taxes would be 4 times that at $57,600.  That sounds more believable and would be almost the same as Neil's.

[Neurochick]

 

David is a bit clingy and desperate though. He is a likeable guy, but he's so desperate to marry someone, anyone. He basically said so in the first episode already and he also mentioned something about women not being ready for the same level of commitment AKA he scares them away by showing his desperation. Now he's trying desperately to make Ashley like him, even though he's obviously noticed by now that she's a total drag and doesn't even like him. I also thought his freaking out about Ashley wanting to spend one night apart was a tad ridiculous. IIRC almost all the couples have spent some nights apart between the honeymoon and moving in, maybe due to living so far apart, maybe just to get a breather. I don't think it's a big deal. Being with someone you just met 24/7 is stressful for anyone, let alone an introvert. I don't see how it's unreasonable to want one night to gather one's thoughts and relax. Yeah, they signed up for a blind marriage, but there's no reason to make it even harder than it has to be. David doesn't get that the more he tries to control the situation, the less comfortable Ashley feels.

I think David could exhaust any woman.  He reminds me of someone who would ask a woman, "do you love me?" a hundred times a day.  I think he's attractive, but a needy man, to me,  will lose his looks very quickly.