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The Company You Keep: Five TV Characters To Join You In The Zombie Apocalypse


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(edited)

Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia - Honestly, I think Charlie is the most valuable member of the bunch.  Not only is he nearly indestructible, has massive strength, can siphon gasoline with his mouth, has no problem eating cat food, has extensive experience not showering and living in squalor, and have you seen him wield that rat stick?  Also, Charlie could ease the tension and make everyone laugh staging his awesome musicals.

 

Dr. Luka Kovac, ER - A brilliant doctor is always good to have around.  He might as well be smokin' hot too.

 

Ryan O'Reilly, Oz - Ryan could outsmart anyone with his Machiavellian schemes; I'm assuming this would include walkers as well.  Besides, he's one of the few inmates to survive the entire run of the show.  Ryan's got skills.

 

Chibs, Sons of Anarchy - Chibs is fiercely loyal wingman who has no problems resorting to violence if necessary.  He's survived a horrible knifing, so he's got some fortitude.  Plus, he's got a killer stash of weapons.  

 

Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus, Rome - History's best buddy duo.  These two served for years in the Roman army, so they are obviously used to fighting for their lives in the wilderness with absolutely no modern conveniences.  And think of all the stories they have!

Edited by eejm
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Damon Salvatore: Unable to die, fast, smokin' hot, and snarky. 

 

Alaric Saltzman: Also unable to die (zombies are technically supernatural, right?) and smokin' hot, has a ton of weapons, snarky, and a good sidekick for Damon. 

 

Dr. Gregory House: Comes with bonus Dr. Wilson, excellent doctor that could figure out the whole zombie thing, snarky, and probably owns plenty of Nike shoes to go around. 

 

Saul Goodman: Fast talker, probably knows plenty of "guys" to get us to a safe house or find a huge stash of weapons. Worst case scenario we can hole up in his tacky office or Cinnabon stand (wherever he would be in the timeline of events). 

 

Technically, that's my five if you count Dr. Wilson. At the very least if we didn't make it we'd have a good laugh before the end. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H* - I'd want a medical professional, plus he's witty and if all those nurses have anything to say about it, great in the sack.

-Byron Sully, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - His tomahawk always hits true.  It's the 1800s version of Daryl's crossbow.

-Clark Kent/Superman (any Superman series, although I'm partial to Dean Cain's version) - Duh, it's Superman.

-Arthur Fonzerelli - just to see how Cool works in the ZA.

-Red from Orange is the New Black - she'd know how to get the goods.

 

I really wanted to add Daryl, because really, in a ZA, you'd want Daryl... but I tried to stay away from any and all Walking Dead characters.

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(edited)

1. Optimus Prime is my number one choice. A leader, a bodyguard, transportation, and if has his "trailer," shelter at the same time.

2. Methos is my second choice. He'd have no problem chopping off Zombie heads, He was Death, one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He survived over 5,000 years. He's probably got a few millennia left.

3. Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the souled version, would be my third choice. He could always eat the cannibals and governors, and he'd probably adore smashing zombie brains. Plus, once he loves someone, he's incredibly loyal.

4. The Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker, doesn't need any explanation, in my opinion. Of course, if the TARDIS was functional, we could just zip away from the planet and leave the Zombie Apocalypse behind.

5. The Radiant Aeryn Sun is my final choice.

 

I wanted a combination of level heads that wouldn't automatically be set on kill plus ones who would have no real problem killing in self-defense.

Edited by mustbekarma

If I have to stay away from Walking Dead characters, I'd go with the following:

 

Dr. Archie Morris (ER), especially once he grew up and started using his skills.

Mr. Rogers. Every group needs the calm, sage advice-giver.

Buffy. Good with a bladed weapon, has dealt with multiple apocalypses.

Angus MacGyver. Can make anything out of anything? Hired!

Charles Foster Offdensen. If he can keep Dethklok under control, he can survive the zombies.

 

Kaylee Frye, Mr. T, and Radar O' Reilly just missed the cut.

Ohh...fun!  My five would be...

 

Buffy Summers(as previously stated, she is good with bladed weapons & the girl doesn't stay dead)

Willow Rosenburg (kick ass witch, always handy)

Damon Salvatore (vampires are good to have around)

Derrick Morgan (Who wouldn't want a hot, competent profiler on their team?)

Elijah Michaelson (another hot vamp & he is unkillable and a fairly good planner)

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(edited)

1.  Gregory House.  The anti-Herschel definitely.  Genius who has shown creative and innovative thinking outside of medicine.  And as a drug addict - he would know where to find ALL of the the drugs.

 

2.  Jack Bauer - Evaded the NSA for years.  Could take down a small country on his own.  Can talk anyone into anything (House could prove to be the exception).  Can get the impossible done.  Would never ever have fallen prey to the cannibals.  Are you listening Rick?

 

3.  Michonne - No explanation needed.

 

4.  Daryl - Good soldier for Jack and Michonne.  A pet for House.

 

5.  Jamie Sommers, The Bionic Women - The original 1970s recipe, please. Bionic ear will hear the horde coming long before it can swarm over the survivors.  Can run 60 miles an hour - so can easily look for supplies and do reconnaissance.

 

I wanted Raylan Givens on the list.  Very fine eye candy who is great with a gun.  But, he likes to attract trouble - I wouldn't be surprised if he just started shooting his gun so that he could bring the walkers directly to him.  Killing them and getting himself killed in the process.

 

I thought about Walter White.  I ended up hating him at the end, but he is a genius.  However, it would only be a matter of time before House slipped him a mickey or Jack just threw him to the walkers.

Edited by Macbeth
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I wish I had the ability to "re-do" episodes of TWD, with bits of House spliced in place of Herschel :

House responding to Carl being brought into the farmhouse

House with Rick and Glenn in the bar when Dave-n-Fat Tony come in

House dealing with the plague at the prison etc.\

I loved Herschel but it would be hilarious.

 

 

I want to be Jamie Sommers, the 1970's recipe.

 

I would love to see how Jack Bauer would have dealt with the Governor.

(Are you listening, Rick?)

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I want four RoboCops and a Dean Winchester.

 

 

Tippi, why not 5 Robocops?  I mean, what could Dean do for you that the Robocops couldn't? (wink)

 

Hmmm... well, restricting myself to characters without super powers or robotic enhancements, I'd go with:

 

Daryl Dixon (good fighter, even better survivalist)

MacGuyver (his mechanical/electronical knowledge and jerry-rigging skills would come in very useful)

Dean Winchester (ruthless and efficient killer, good leader, decent sense of humour)

Dr. Christina Yang (excellent medical skills, extremely practical and nerves of steel)

Kato, from the Green Hornet (skilled in many areas, and serious fighter)

 

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This doesn't really fit anywhere, but here I go again ... I was about to pull out of my driveway the other day when some people approached my front door, and were unable to evade my confrontation.  They pushed a pamphlet in my face and asked me "who would YOU choose to run the "new" world "order? (they want you to say God or Jesus)."  I started rattling off names like a fucking madwoman - and browbeat them to the end of my driveway with the pure power of my awesomeness - nary a religious figure in the bunch of names I'd entrust the earth and it's peoples to ...  The blank look on their faces as names like Goodall and Attenborough were bandied about made it so much sweeter, but throwing TWD references in there mad it awesome sauce!!!

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Ok, after months of soul searching I finally have my list.  I had to take my time and get it right the first time because I'm a one and done type of girl. Ok,

1. Malcolm Reynolds - because if I'm part of his crew he would never leave me behind.

2. Michael Scofield (season 1 only!)- very smart, as good as McGyver, and way hotter.

3. Oliver Queen post island.  Because - yeah.

4. Carah Thrace- because I might need some girl time.

5.Cliff Huxtable- because he'll be funny around the campfire, he's got a wicked collection of sweaters and most of all he is an OB/GYN and he will come in handy incase any of the above hotties knock me up.  I do not plan on dying in some dingy boiler room.

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(edited)

Like many here, I'd want Sam and Dean Winchester (what?  I'm greedy), Jason Stackhouse for my personal boytoy (I'll just lie about being a vampire and rather obese one at that), Daffy Duck (does he count as a TV character?), and Sailor Moon, because her magic crystal would purge the world of the Walkers and make it a happy sunshine lollipop place again.

Edited by bmoore4026
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(edited)

Man, i love this thread...

 

My non-super powered list.

 

1) Tom Mason - Falling Skies: He already has experience in an apocalyptic setting which would be helpful 

2) Bill Nye the Science Guy: Cause of SCIENCE

3) Leslie Knope - Parks and Rec: She'd keep the rest of us optimistic even in our cracksack world (it can't be worse than Pawnee right?) and she's a great leader.

4) Ron Swanson - Parks and Rec: Cause he's Ron F'n Swanson

5) Dwight Schrute - The Office: Not only does he have great worldly knowledge, he has a beet farm we could use as home base!

Edited by Izzyboy
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NurseGiGI: There's lots of medical possibilities outside of medical shows. How about Dr. Neville (Will Smith) from I Am Legend?

 

Or for a more homeopathic survivalist approach, how about the old bat from Minority Report? (I think I'm turning into the old bat from Minority Report, but that's a personal problem.)

This doesn't really fit anywhere, but here I go again ... I was about to pull out of my driveway the other day when some people approached my front door, and were unable to evade my confrontation.  They pushed a pamphlet in my face and asked me "who would YOU choose to run the "new" world "order? (they want you to say God or Jesus)."  I started rattling off names like a fucking madwoman - and browbeat them to the end of my driveway with the pure power of my awesomeness - nary a religious figure in the bunch of names I'd entrust the earth and it's peoples to ...  The blank look on their faces as names like Goodall and Attenborough were bandied about made it so much sweeter, but throwing TWD references in there mad it awesome sauce!!!

 

 

Damn. Now I want to revise my list and extend an invitation to walnutqueen. Anyone who can handle that is a true badass indeed.

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Rosiejuliemom: For fun, try walking straight ahead, eyes forward, pretend not to hear them...and when they touch you to get your attention, turn and hiss and make that great pop-eyed jaw-rictus shriek like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

(Also fun when going through department stores past those crazy reps spraying perfume on everybody.)

Rosiejuliemom: For fun, try walking straight ahead, eyes forward, pretend not to hear them...and when they touch you to get your attention, turn and hiss and make that great pop-eyed jaw-rictus shriek like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

(Also fun when going through department stores past those crazy reps spraying perfume on everybody.)

 

Imma try this tomorrow.

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This is all well and good for fantasy (which is, of course, what the ZA is), but IRL, the company you keep would be as limited as the other available resources around you in any disaster/apocalypse.   So you'd better start looking around at your closest neighbours and circle of acquaintances, because the chances of running into Neil DeGrasse Tyson on your subsistence runs are slim to none.  I'm lucky to have second generation sorta-ex-inlaw-types across the street who are vigilant and caring.  I've also been cultivating a relationship with my most trusted neighbor for almost 30 years - he's a very old Marine with a shitload of knowledge, experience, guns, and reloading equipment - always handy.  A few others I've known for decades to say hello to, and a couple of big strong young military motorcycle rental boys who show some promise, if only because whenever they start their engines in the wee hours, it sound like Daryl (their hair will grow out in no time).  :-)

(edited)

Oh, Boofish! Think of yourself as wise, experienced, and deliberate. And you're in a workout group with a trainer? Doesn't sound so vulnerable type to me! :-D

 

Does your burg have those local Adult Ed things that are just 2 weeks, or 2 days. Hereabouts we can learn gunrepair, first aid, wild foods, geolocation etc. Even if you take the glass-blowing class or something you can make friends with off-the-gridders.And they can fix your car or your sink.

Same for local historical reenactment or dyi competitions and "fairs".

At the worst, you have an interesting day out. But you might also meet great friends, and it's not "silly because there won't be a ZA". There might be a tornado or something and it's nice to know people who can deal.

Besides, you won't, at any of these places, meet apathetic sponger people, methmonsters, or Real Ho'wives of AcrylicNailsville. And it's mostly FREE.

Edited by kikismom
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If I picked from TWD, I'd take:

 

Carl           (an excellent shot - dead or alive, Carl will plug it)

Michonne  (baddest badass on TWD)

Rick          (has leadership experience and can kill walkers)

Tyreese    (kind-hearted, handy with a hammer and hot)

Judith       (because Tyreese ain't going nowhere without that baby)

 

If I picked from other shows/movies, I'd take:

 

Buffy Summers (she's super strong, experienced with kicking undead ass and would adapt easily to staking them in the brain)

Spike (he's undead, likes to kill people and the undead and he's hot)

Dana Scully (she's a doctor and a cop and has experience with the undead)

Fox Mulder  (he'd figure out the government conspiracy that caused the walker outbreak and he's hot)

Noomi Rapace's Lisbeth Salander (she's a freaking fierce genius who would scare people - and maybe even walkers - away plus she'd probably get the computers going)

 

 

 

 

 

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I can't decide if my group should be smart or strong. The zombies seem to be smart when it's convenient. I decided to rewatch the seasons-

Season 1 zombies were using bricks to break glass, climbing fences. Season 2 they climbed stairs and hopped up to a window to get to Shane. Season 3 they couldnt even break that flimsy prison fence. I also learned T-DOG real name was Theodore Douglas. With that said, I'll take

My trainer (dude is a bad azz who hunts and cooks/eats his kill)

My daughter (God knows anyone else get stuck with her they would feed that brat to zombies)

Rick

Merle

Darryl

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I still don't understand why a rendezvous/meet up place was never discussed in case something happened. What did that useless council do all day?

 

I thought they did have a meeting place or some kind of plan set up and everything just went to hell in a handbasket when tanky time started. Even so, they should have had back ups for the backup plan. I suppose we can't expect too much from CDB.

Data: As an android, he's more zombie bite proof. He's also a genius so he can build useful devices out of nothing. He also doesn't need food, so more canned pudding for the rest of us. 

 

Xena: For fighting and strategizing against dangerous human enemies. 

 

Dr. Foreman: While Dr. House and Hawkeye Pierce are good ideas, Dr. House's co-worker, Dr. Foreman looks like he'd be a better, stronger fighter than many other TV doctors.

 

Laura Roslyn: Maybe she can be the "dying leader" again, and lead the group to a better Earth. 

 

Wonder Woman: You can never have too much rope on hand. 

 

 

 

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Sam Anders (BSG) : Most of the awesome fighting skills of his wife but about half the personality issues and a briliant scientist to boot. (Although I wouldn't so no if he wanted to bring her along obviously). Plus he's already survied the apocolpyse twice so he must be doing something right.

 

Fiona Gallgher (Shameless US) : I really love her and she'd be totatly fun to hang with. Plus her Galagher survival skills can only come in handy and shes already an awesome Team Mom.(Its a Zombie apocoloyse so probabilty of coke related lapses  in judgement are low)

 

The Tam siblings (Firefly) I know technically their two people but I don't see getting one without the other so I'm counting them as one. They are totally awesome badasses and Simon is a great doctor.

 

Kira Nyrese (DS9) One of the most truly awesome badasses in the history of Trek and one truly strong woman.

 

Sayid Jarah (Lost) Smart pretty and he can fix stuff.

While I appreciate the impulse to take along a vampire who possesses super human strength, it's risky. Even if he's a cuddly CW vampire, the dude's food supply is dwindling and these guys already stand on shaky moral ground. I'd opt for the following:

 

1. The dad from Boy Meets World because he's got keys to a grocery store and presumably knows the location of a few warehouses that supply said grocery store.

2. Raylan Givens. Yes, everyone who suggested this before is right. He's dreamy, he's a hell of a shot and very unlikely to sacrifice an innocent.

3. Monica Gellar. Hear me out. 1) She's got a major stash of disinfectants. 2) Always keep at least one person who is more annoying than you as she will be the first person sacrificed if someone loses their shit and goes on a rampage.

4. Bear Grylls. Obviously.

5. Miss Piggy. Need someone with excellent hand to hand combat skills

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5. Miss Piggy. Need someone with excellent hand to hand combat skills

 

This entry made me think that perhaps the best things to have in a ZA would be those character costumes from DIsneyWorld.

 

  • The zombies would see you easily, but if they tried to bite you they'd get a mouthful of hard plastic and fuzzy plush and they'd stop and go away.
  • The human predators like the Merletones would see you, but they might fall down laughing and you could overpower them. Or they'd think they were hallucinating from the mushrooms they foraged ("Claim!") and run away.
  • You could breathe through those little screens they have in the neck of the costume.
  • It would be hot, but protect you from sunburn and all the chiggers, mosquitoes, ticks, and other creepy-crawlies.
  • In the winter it would be nice and cozy and warm. And it would be an automatic sleeping bag.
  • What would Mary and Gareth do if they saw The Seven Dwarfs approaching Terminus? Important psychological element of surprise!
  • It's not as if it would make anyone turned on to rape you. (If they did get sexually aroused by Donald Duck you would have no guilt about shooting them.)
  • Maybe other humans would see you and worship you.
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Gilligan - I'd need the comic relief.  Unfortunately he wouldn't last long, and he'd be even more clueless as a zombie.

 

So after I have to put Gilligan down, Samantha - Because I could use her magic powers plus she's great eye candy.  I have to take her over Jeannie because Jeannie was termperamental and a screwup, she'd get us all killed.

 

Jessie - He could make all that meth.  He wins out over Walter because Jess would be cool to hang out with while Walt would just piss me off.

 

Buffy - Because I'd need at least one good ass-kicker.

 

Robot - He's a built-in alarm system.  Just turn him on and wait for the sound of "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!" to go grab your gun.  Plus he doesn't eat - an added bonus.

 

Paulie Walnuts - I can't even begin to count the number of priceless one-liners the guy would come up with, that alone puts him on my team.

Edited by Dobian

The mention of Gilligan makes me wonder who my top five castaways would be.

1.The Professor

He knows everything, can make anything, and would probably even solve the entire zombie apocalypse problem in like half an hour.

2.Maryann

She's hot as hell, and also is a hard worker with a lot of useful domestic skills that allow her to maintain the group's standard of living in a low-technology situation. She's kind of like a way, way more pleasant version of Lori.

3.Ginger

Because, unfortunately, if Maryann puts out for anyone, it's going to be The Professor.

Plus, Ginger may have acquired some rudimentary combat skills starring in a gladiator flick or something.

4. The Japanese Soldier Who Still Thinks It's World War Two

He's well-armed, well-trained, and never stops fighting the enemy. Not getting word that Japan surrendered is excusable.I think that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he would re-prioritize who the enemy actually was. 

5. Alexandri Gregor Dubov

Yes, he's a pain in the ass to have in your group, but still certainly no worse than most of the regular cast members (Gilligan's Island or Walking Dead,) and whenever the writers have a brilliant idea for a new story development, just have Dobov talk to them. He has the correct answer to everything.

"Dubov say fooey on Carl-centric episode!" "Dubov say fooey on Eugene!" "Dubov say fooey on Bob!"

Edited by CletusMusashi
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