The Favorite Quotes Thread Excitation

[Rhetorica]

Stephen Hawkings on AI:

"Humans, who are limited by slow biological evolution, couldn’t compete, and would be superseded."

When I read this I thought of The "Agreement Dissection" when Pryia beat Sheldon by finding loopholes in the Roommate Agreement. Leonard brags to Sheldon, "Top of her class in Cambridge University. Licensed to practice law in three countries and your face! Schooled!! SUPERSEDED!!!"

My husband bought me this t-shirt. We tried to play it with the our kids. It was, Hilarious !

[vavera4ka]

From latest episode:

 

Amy: How would you feel if you were referred to as "part of Leonard's team"?

Sheldon: Oh I'd be incensed.

Amy: So you see what I'm getting at?

Sheldon: Squeaky wheel gets the grease?

Amy: No!

Sheldon: Grass is always greener?

Amy: Try again!

Sheldon: I don't know! We're all Groot? Just tell me!

[AmyFarrahFowler]

This thread never gets old. I have laughed for an hour re-reading posts.

[BooksRule]

From the 'Re-entry minimization':

 

Amy:  We could go to the cadaver lab at UCLA and play real-life operation.

Leonard: Uh-uh.

Sheldon: No.

Penny: I don't think so.

Amy:  Are you sure? I mean, the nose doesn't light up, but if the corpse is fresh enough, sometimes you can get the leg to jerk.

 

(I think it's all in Mayim's delivery.  She sounds like she's trying not to crack up as she says the last line.  Funny!)

[andromeda331]

The whole of James Earl Jones lines when Sheldon comes up to him and is so excited to see him he can only nod. But its awesome 'let me guess your a Star Wars fan' Sheldon nods. He lists his other movies 'But you don't care about that do you' Sheldon shakes his head still looking so excited. But that could be that's exactly what I'd do if I ever met him.

 

"It'll knock your socks off. Good luck getting your socks back on"

[chocolatine]

From The Relationship Diremption (7.20):

 

Penny: What's wrong with geology?

Sheldon: Remember how you told me the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well, geology is the Kardashians of science.

[Eri]

Leonard: Please go to Mars..

 

Enough said.

[ari333]

Sheldon: "I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated."
Howard: "Something happened different from the way you wanted it."

Sheldon: " I guess news travels fast."

 

Sheldon::"A group of elite scientists was invited to a symposium and I wasn't invited."

Leonard:"Im sure it wasn't bc they don't think you're elite."

Howard: "Maybe it's  bc you're a pain in the ass.

"Sheldon:" You're just trying to make me feel better."

 

Leonard: "You can spend the rest of the day being bitter about this...."

Sheldon: "Agreed."

Leonard: "I was gonna say, 'OR...' but why bother. "

[AmyFarrahFowler]

Forgive me if I am repeating myself....

 

AFF: Commence operation Priya, wouldn't want to be ya.

 

 

 

kills me everytime.

[Bort]

Stuart: Ooh, Sheldon, I’m afraid you couldn’t be more wrong.

Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.

Stuart: Of course it is. It’s a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it’s very wrong to say it’s a suspension bridge.

Howard: You’re weighing me down. I’m a falcon who hunts better solo.

Leonard: Fine. I’ll sit here. You take flight and hunt.

Howard: Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t just tell a falcon when to hunt.

Leonard: Actually, you can. There’s a whole sport built around it. Falconry.

[BooksRule]

The episode where Sheldon gets locked out of the apartment and has to spend the night at Penny's.  He's explaining why he can't sleep on the couch (because it's too small):

 

Sheldon:  I can't sleep on your couch.  I sleep on a bed!  And given its dimensions, I have no intention of living out E.M. Snickering's beloved children's book 'The tall man from Cornwall.'

Penny:  What?

Sheldon:  'There was a tall man from Cornwall, whose length exceeded his bed.  My body fits on it, but barely upon it.  There's no room for my big Cornish head!'

[Jeezaloo]

Amy:  Are you sure? I mean, the nose doesn't light up, but if the corpse is fresh enough, sometimes you can get the leg to jerk.

(I think it's all in Mayim's delivery.  She sounds like she's trying not to crack up as she says the last line.  Funny!)

Actually it's disgusting. Weird that someone's trying to pawn that shit off as a gag. "Lemme molest your mom's fresh corpse for giggles!" *laugh track*

[ari333]

Sheldon : "Im not going to work. Would you like to know why?"

Penny: "You're sad about not getting anything done last night so you're gonna sit around and pout about it?"

Sheldon: "Wow. Im not nearly as mysterious as I think I am."

[hnygrl]

The one (forget the name) where Penny gets the red chair off the curb and Sheldon's trying to convince her to get rid of it.

 

Knock-knock-knock Penny! Knock-knock-knock Penny! Knock-knock-knock Penny!

"What's up buttercup?"

"What's the word, hummingbird?"
"What's the gist, Physicist?"

[TheLukeP]

My favorite is

*knock knock knock* Penny?

*knock knock knock* Sheldon.

*knock knock knock* Penny?!

*knock knock knock* Sheldon..

*KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK*PENNY!!

*KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK* SHELDON!!

 

[SongbirdHollow]

An instrument broke down at work today and I got to use a favorite line at work today:

 

I informed you thusly. I soooo informed you thusly.

 

[Cable Guy]

Don't you think if I were wrong I'd know it?

Yes, I have this shirt (Yes, I'm "that" guy").

 

 

 

[riley702]

And you didn't get the socks with capes?!? Sorry, that image is huge.

Edited July 21, 2015 by riley702

[Jediknight]

Sheldon's Mother: "Well honey, don't send it back yet.  Your sister's married, and I'm not letting your brother give my grandmother's ring to that whore he's dating."

Sheldon: "Wasn't Mary Magdalene a woman of ill repute?"

Sheldon's Mother: "When your idiot brother redeems mankind, he can date whoever he wants."

[PaulaO]

Stale pastry is hollow succor to a man bereft of ostrich. (Sheldon's computer is hacked and Penny brings him a cheesecake to make him feel better).

[CherryAmes]

I saw a re-run tonight that had some of my favourite lines,  I often say "why thank you for noticing" but I just can't get that twang in my voice the way "Lisa" does.

 

Employment Office Assistant: So, Mr. Cooper, you’re looking for a job.

Sheldon: A menial job. Like yours.

Assistant: Why, thank you for noticing. I’m Menial Employee of the Month. Do you have a particular field in mind?

 

And:

 

Sheldon: I do. For thousands of years, the lowest classes of the human race have spent their lives labouring to erect monuments under the lash of their betters, until finally they dropped down and became one with the dust through which they trudged. Do you have anything like that?

Assistant: No.

Sheldon: Shouldn’t you check your database?

Assistant (clicks her keyboard a few times): No.

Sheldon: You didn’t really type.

Assistant: I didn’t really have to.

[HisMuse]

Raj to Penny: Shut your ass!

[greekmom]

Sheldon to Amy: I just gave you my virginity woman, cool your jets!

[avecsans]

Raj: "Sheldon, you remind me of a young Lex Luthor."

Sheldon: "You flatter me, sir."

[greekmom]

Best lines from the 200th episode:

 

West: "All I had in my Batsuit was 100% grade A  West."

 

Howard: "Can we all just agree we are worried about Affleck."

Leonard/Raj: "Yeah, sure, of course."

West: "What's an Affleck?"

 

Kripke to Leonard's mom: "Someone call animal control, there's a cougar on the loose."

[calipiano81]

When Leonard and Sheldon lose at "Where's Waldo?" to Amy and Penny:

S: How could you not find him?!!

L: Because he is HARD TO FIND. If he was easy to find, it would be called "THERE'S Waldo"!!

[Jediknight]

Sheldon: "Cersei uses her body to manipulate men.  Penny just takes me to the Lego Store."

[MaryMitch]

Sheldon to Priya in "The Agreement Dissection", after Sheldon blackmailed Leonard into sign a new version of the roommate agreement: "You may have gone to Cambridge, but I'm an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy."

[Jediknight]

Priya: "Here I am, baby. You miss these?"
Leonard: "Oh, damn it!"
Priya: "Oh, Leonard! Already?"
Leonard: "No, no! No-no-no! The screen froze. It’s probably just buffering, just give it a second."
Priya: "Fine."
Leonard: "So, how are your mom and dad?"
Priya: "Yeah, I really don’t want to talk about my parents now."
Leonard: "Yeah. Sure, sure."
Sheldon (yelling from his room): "If your video’s frozen, try resetting the TCP/IP stack."
Leonard: "Oh! I didn’t even think of that. Thanks."
Sheldon: "You’re welcome. Please let me know when you and your girlfriend are done hogging the bandwidth for your self-abuse. I’m trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here."

[Badsamaritan]

The episode where Sheldon is debating which game system he wants to get while having dinner with Amy, 'Please pass the butter'. MB is masterful in this scene, gets me every time! 

Also, this will never not be funny, from the 'knock, knock, knock' to the 'gift of my genitals'. Penny's perfect glass breaking timing, Bernie's 'Wow thang!', just all around hilarious from start to end. 

[minamurray78]

"Hi, I’m Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski from Yorba Linda, Californiaaaaa!

And you should pick me for Miss California Quiznos 1999, 'cause I want to... tell you what I want, what I really really want, l tell you what I want, what I really really want, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna Really, really, really be Miss California Quiznos Nineteen ninety niiiiiiineeeeeeee!!!!!!"

Edited September 6, 2016 by minamurray78

[mstar1125]

From S05E02:

Leonard: You know, some people might say that it’s great that we’re trying to make things work long distance. They’d say things like, love is stronger than the miles between you.

Sheldon: When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized.

[greekmom]

Best line tonight: "It's just a guidance system, it's not like you are handing us the death star from Star Trek."

As a Trekkie - I seriously lol'd that one.

[riley702]

Penny: "Hi, Sheldon! We turned your old room into a sex dungeon!"

Sheldon wakes up screaming and I crack up.

[mojoween]

"If you really want to fix your karma, go get my freaking latte." Raj to Leonard after spending all night fixing the space toilet and Leonard sabotaged Stuart's date with Penny

"If a little is good, more must be better!" Beverly, about...drinking shots, I think

[hnygrl]

My all time never to be topped favorite BBT quote is and always will be Sheldon on the back of Howard's scooter.

"OH GOD, NOT EUCLID AVENUE!!!!"  Still cracks me up all these years later.

[Indy]

1 hour ago, hnygrl said:

My all time never to be topped favorite BBT quote is and always will be Sheldon on the back of Howard's scooter.

"OH GOD, NOT EUCLID AVENUE!!!!"  Still cracks me up all these years later.

Me too (I laughed just reading your post!). Every time my DH and I are driving somewhere that involves a Euclid Avenue - and they are more prevalent than you'd think - one of us screams that quote. Because it never, ever stops being funny. 

[EVS]

For me, anytime a sea otter is mentioned, I automatically think, "Some people are otters, some people are rocks".   It's from the episode where the guys visit Howard's old jr high to talk about careers in science. That episode also has a girl in the front row of the class whose facial expression during the guy's talk was hilarious.

[CMS2004]

I can't recall how the exact quote goes, but it's from the episode where Penny throws the Halloween party and the guys are being insulted by her ex-boyfriend (who is HUGE, and muscled, and dressed like a caveman). 

"A homunculus who is just discovering his opposable thumbs says what?"
"...What?" 
*Proud giggles*

Also, "Awwww, you're my little homunculus!" My husband says that to me all the time, since I am also a small, perfectly-formed human.

[LoneHaranguer]

Leonard referred to homo-habilus at Penny's halloween party. Penny's homunculus quote was a followup to Sheldon's comment on hearing that Penny's bed broke in The Gothowitz Deviation in the 3rd season.

[CMS2004]

16 hours ago, LoneHaranguer said:

Leonard referred to homo-habilus at Penny's halloween party. Penny's homunculus quote was a followup to Sheldon's comment on hearing that Penny's bed broke in The Gothowitz Deviation in the 3rd season.

Ah! Thank you!

[ari333]

On ‎3‎/‎27‎/‎2017 at 4:01 PM, LoneHaranguer said:

Leonard referred to homo-habilus at Penny's halloween party. Penny's homunculus quote was a followup to Sheldon's comment on hearing that Penny's bed broke in The Gothowitz Deviation in the 3rd season.

Wow you are good and you read my mind which is freaky. I was thinking the same thing.

What was Sheldon's costume? It was something scientific , but he looked like a zebra. I cant think of the term.

[Trey]

5 minutes ago, ari333 said:

What was Sheldon's costume? It was something scientific , but he looked like a zebra. I cant think of the term.

His costume was black and white stripes - he was the Doppler Effect.

[betsyboo]

"Big talk from someone who once got treed by a chicken." (Back from when Raj was the best part of the show and not a creeper)

"Yes, my leg is killing me, thank you for asking."

[Indy]

17 hours ago, Trey said:

His costume was black and white stripes - he was the Doppler Effect.

Ne-rooooooom!!

[Driad]

Many years ago (before BBT) I considered making a Doppler Shift costume: a dress with a blue front and a red back. Might have been fun, as long as I only walked forward.

[LoneHaranguer]

18 hours ago, Trey said:

His costume was black and white stripes - he was the Doppler Effect.

I think he looked more like a UPC code.

[Indy]

1 hour ago, LoneHaranguer said:

I think he looked more like a UPC code.

But if he was, he couldn't have entered into a costume contest for the "most accurate visual representation of a scientific principle," lol

[EVS]

I always crack up at pretty much anything out of Mary Cooper's mouth in The Rhinitis Revelation. She is so unbelievably politically incorrect. A couple good quotes:

 I want to thank you for the blessing that is my little Shelly. I also want to thank you for the continued strength not to coldcock him with my bible.

 

Mary Cooper: I thought it was our Indians that had the occasional alcohol problem.
Leonard: We don't say that either. I'll make you list.
Mary Cooper: Oh, that'd be mighty white of you.

 

Cooper: Lord, Mary Cooper here, coming to you from Gomorrah, California.

 

Mary Cooper: Oh, this one's sweet. You know, for your rosary rattlers.
Leonard: Mrs Cooper, we say Catholics, not rosary rattlers.
Mary Cooper: My goodness. It's a wonder you people in California can talk at all.

 

and this one from Howard in the same episode:

Raj: None of our gods have abs like that.
Howard: Yep, that's the last Jew who did sit-ups. Look where it got him.

[mojoween]

On 3/29/2017 at 9:35 AM, Indy said:

Ne-rooooooom!!

"A brain-damaged choo choo train?"