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Celebrating 1,000 NCIS-franchise episodes

The Favorite Quotes Thread Excitation

ari333

By ari333
in The Big Bang Theory [V]

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MaryHedwig

MaryHedwig

Any line delivered by Bob Newhart including:

Mr. Proton (Bob Newhart) asks Leonard if Sheldon is special.

L: He's a genius.

Mr. P. figures out the Penny is Leonard's girlfriend.

Mr. P to L: (with his iconic comedic pause) You're the genius!

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MMLEsq
MMLEsq

This exchange from The Adhesive Duck Deficiency will never not make me laugh: Sheldon Cooper: We have to fill these out. "Describe illness or injury." Penny: I dislocated my shoulder. Sheldon Coope

Winston Wolfe
Winston Wolfe

This is from the episode where Penny takes in an infested couch which freaks Sheldon out: Penny to Sheldon (after three knocks): "What's up, Buttercup?" After another three knocks: "What's the gis

MMLEsq
MMLEsq

From The Justice League Recombination: Zack: "You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it'll just come back to life." Sheldon: "Was the starfish wea

marinite

marinite

Sheldon:" I could grow my own Nimoy!"

His incredulous reaction to that gift is one of my favorite moments. Also, there was some audience member with a whooping high-pitched laugh that totally made me lose it.

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riley702

riley702

His incredulous reaction to that gift is one of my favorite moments. Also, there was some audience member with a whooping high-pitched laugh that totally made me lose it.

As Penny reacts incredulously to him showering her with ALL the gift baskets, he says "You're right - it's not enough, is it?" And I cracked up again.

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cosmic1

cosmic1

(edited)

Sheldon: *knock knock knock*

Penny: (on the other side of her apartment door) 'Who do you love?!"

Sheldon: Penny?

(and 2 more times).  Cracked me up.

 

 

I love these little skits.  They are so awesome.

Edited by cosmic1
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anstar

anstar

Leonard (trying to get Sheldon to leave Penny's apartment in the middle of the night): Sheldon, this is not your home!
Sheldon: This isn't anyone's 'home'. This is a swirling vortex of entropy.

 

I tell my teenage son his room is a swirling vortex of entropy all the time.  :p

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MMLEsq

MMLEsq

From The Pancake Batter Anomaly:

Sheldon: Wait, put this in the bathroom.
Leonard: What for?
Sheldon: I need to measure my fluid intake and output to make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down.
Leonard: I mix pancake batter in this!
Sheldon: No, that measuring cup has always been for urine.
Leonard: You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment, including the label maker, but you didn't have ten seconds to make a label that said "urine cup"?
Sheldon: It's right here on the bottom.
Leonard: Huh, I guess I owe the Betty Crocker Company a letter of apology.

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babyhouseman

babyhouseman

Saw this episode today and love this dialogue:

Sheldon Cooper: Include me in what? Is there a plot afoot? I'll have no truck with plots.

Penny: [to Leonard] No, you're right.

[to Sheldon]

Penny: No, there's, there's no plot, no trucks, no... feet.

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ari333

ari333

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(edited)

Sheldon: "The university wouldn't let me bring the equipment to the Cheesecake Factory freezer because apparently I'm ri-DIC-ulous. "

(The delivery is what really sells it.)

Edited by ari333
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riley702

riley702

(edited)

A moaning Sheldon wakes up Leonard. When he asks what's wrong, Sheldon replies: "I have pain radiating from my navel to my lower right abdomen. I'm nauseated and feverish - I believe I may have cholera."

Assured that there is no cholera in Pasadena, Sheldon says, "Well, if it's not cholera, then based on a quick internet search, the other explanations, in decreasing order of likelihood are Hirschsprung's disease, botulism, a 30-foot tapeworm, or accidental ingestion of chrysanthemum blossoms."

Leonard asks, "When would you have accidentally eaten chrysanthemum blossoms?", and Sheldon responds, "It's part of an unlikely scenario that involves sleepwalking in a 24-hour flower mart with a less-than-vigilent proprietor."

After ripping a massive fart, he says, "Or maybe it was the Brussel's sprouts."

Edited by riley702
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barbedwire

barbedwire

From the Adhesive Duck Deficiency:

When Leonard, Raj and Howard are high at the campgrounds: Leonard "Even my name has the word 'nerd' in it!"

And the episode when Sheldon runs home and stays at his mom.  The guys show up to talk him into coming home and mom (Lori Metcalf) tells Sheldon he won't be teaching evolution there, only creation, and he gets disgusted and agrees to go home.  Pan to her and she says "Don't tell me prayer doesn't work."

 

LOL

 

 

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Midru

Midru

Almost any line from Zack could be in here, but this is one of my favorites:

It's a surprise party- it doesn't matter when we get there

 

Also this:

 

"all soaped up and no place to go"

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MaryHedwig

MaryHedwig

(edited)

Mary Cooper: By His Hand we are all                        Sheldon: fed

Mary Cooper: Give us Lord our daily                        Sheldon: bread

Mary Cooper: Please know that we are truly             Sheldon: grateful

Mary Cooper: For every cup and every                    Sheldon: plateful

Edited by MaryHedwig
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barbedwire

barbedwire

My dd said that prayer on Thanksgiving.  It was hard for me not to laugh.  Relatives didn't know where the prayer came from.

 

Another great moment:  Howard signing the Bernadette song.  I still go back and find it on youtube and listen to it.  SO great!

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leighdear

leighdear

When Sheldon busses tables at the Cheesecake factory:

 

"It's a WAAAAAAAAAVE.....The time to clap is NOW, people!"

 

His sleep deprivation episode is my fave.  Especially in the ball pit. 

 

When the play place guard calls Leonard to pick up Sheldon, Penny asks what's up.  Leonard replies "Sheldon's escaped and is terrifying the villagers".

 

Bernadette, when sending Sheldon to bed: "I know how to deal with stubborn children.  My mother ran an unlicensed daycare in our basement

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NoWillToResist

NoWillToResist

(edited)

Not sure that it counts as a quote, but I loved it when Leonard wrote "SARCASM" on a piece of paper and held it up behind Penny when she was talking to Sheldon so that Sheldon would understand that she was not being genuine. It may have been in the pilot?

 

I was amused by Sheldon's comment to Penny during H&B's wedding: "would you like some aloe? Because you just got burned."

 

I'm also partial to Raj's "the plot...like my gravy...thickens!" in the Thanksgiving episode.

Edited by NoWillToResist
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cosmic1

cosmic1

When driving Sheldon and Amy on their first date, when Penny asks Sheldon if he ever told Amy about growing up in Texas and he says to Amy, "It was hell."  LOL.  That whole date was a riot with poor Penny trying to help and then Sheldon guessing she had dated about 192 men and slept with 32 of them. 

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AriAu

AriAu

(edited)

Sheldon:" I could grow my own Nimoy!"

 

While everyone is cracking up, it almost drowns out Penny's almost perfect response

"I'm only giving you the napkin, Sheldon", with a perfect look on her face.

I am pretty sure that episode was shot around the time Johnny and Kaley were secretly seeing each other in real life and the interaction between the 2 shows that something was going on

Edited by AriAu
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ari333

ari333

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Sheldon upon being told that's it's ok to wait a day or two on getting a haircut (IIRC, I get plots confused): "Well, then, perhaps I should also begin wearing Birkenstocks and seeking validation for my opinions by asking, 'Can ya dig it?' "

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ari333

ari333

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Raj to Leonard (IIRC): "Ok, don't go all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass."

 

Sheldon to Leonard regarding the utility of bus pants: "Perhaps from your lofty heights atop the corporate ladder, you've lost touch with the struggles of the common man."

 

Sheldon to Raj: "Do you need some money to buy a less disturbing sweater vest?"

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ari333

ari333

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Sheldon: "You know, Leonard, you actually have a valid idea; Very good!" 

Leonard: "Can you say that and not make it sound like I'm a cat who learned how to use the toilet?"

Sheldon: "No; The two achievements are equally surprising and equally admirable; However, if pressed, I'd have to give a slight edge to the cat." 

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cosmic1

cosmic1

(edited)

In the Hawking Excitation, Howard's mother and Sheldon go dress shopping and Howard's mother says "when I put my front in, my back pops out and when I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub here!" Lol.

Edited by cosmic1
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Indy

Indy

From the haircut episode:

 

Penny to Sheldon: "Where are you going?"

Sheldon: "Wherever the music takes me, kitten"

"I play bongos walking down the stairs" (trips, screams)

"Never play bongos walking down the stairs"

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TeethMalloy

TeethMalloy

Since this episode was on recently:

Amy: "Have you considered that your intelligence might be the very thing causing your dilemma?"

Sheldon: "No."

Amy: "What do you think Ricky [the smoking monkey] over here would do if an interloper encroached on his territory?"

Sheldon: "Well...when challenged, monkeys generally assert their dominance through chasing...assault...and, uh, stylized penile display. A little outside my comfort zone...."

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5cents-worth

5cents-worth

 From "The Contractual Obligation Implementation"

 

Bernadette, Penny and Amy go to Disneyland, where they get Disney princess makeovers.  Bernadette insisted on being Cinderella, and makes the other two choose other costumes.  Sheldon has called them to help talk to a class of middle school girls about women in the sciences.

 

Bernadette, dressed as Cinderella, speaking to the class:   You have the capacity to be anything you want to be.

 

Penny, quietly:  Unless you want to be Cinderella.

 

Bernadette, turning to Penny:  Come at me!  See what happens!  

 

When Bernadette gets an attitude it is always hilarious.

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emma675

emma675

I love it when Bernadette is home and Howard comes in and she tells him she has a surprise for him (off-screen) and he's all "please be Cinderella, please be Cinderella" and his reaction when she is.

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ari333

ari333

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I love it when Bernadette is home and Howard comes in and she tells him she has a surprise for him (off-screen) and he's all "please be Cinderella, please be Cinderella" and his reaction when she is.

 

Omg, yes. Howard does some kind of little gallop or something. hee.

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zxy556575

zxy556575

(edited)

From The Panty Pinata Polarization:

Leonard, after Penny is banished: "Just so I know, would you be open to taking his class? You can do it online."

 

Penny: Leonard, remember when I said it was on? Well, now it’s junior rodeo on!

Leonard: Oh, not junior rodeo. (A lot of the funny was Leonard's inflection.)

 

From The Euclid Alternative:

Leonard: Aw, the pet store.

 

I also like the running joke of Sheldon's wifi passwords.

Edited by lordonia
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BooksRule

BooksRule

Penny:  '...That...that...'

Sheldon:  'Time machine.'

Penny:  'Oh, please.  That's not a time machine.  If anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades.'

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zxy556575

zxy556575

(edited)

From The Closure Alternative:

 

Sheldon: No. They can’t just cancel a show like Alphas. You know? They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season till we were grateful it ended.

 

It's funny because ...

 

This wasn't a line, but Sheldon's surprise and chagrin in that same episode when Amy continually denied him closure was hysterical. Her expression and body language when she erased the the tic-tac-toe game were particularly great, too.

Edited by lordonia
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CleoCaesar

CleoCaesar

(edited)

LOVED that! 

 

 

One of my favorite scenes this past season. Mayim and Simon looked like they were having a blast, and as far as their characters go, I've never seen Amy that happy. With her horrific "boyfriend", she always seems subdued, and almost like a schoolteacher looking after a problem child. But singing Neil Diamond she's awesomely happy. :)

Edited by CleoCaesar
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