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Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)


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(edited)

While I applaud the fact that she is going for walks, and walking is great for the body and mind, I have to mention that as a "certified health coach" whose job it is to supposedly give exercise advice, I would think that she'd certainly be well past the 2-mile mark by now.  And I think her saying that her cardio is in "OK shape" is code for "I can't really breathe when I hike."

If she keeps this up, I give her credit.  Where I take issue is that she makes it seem like her legs actually atrophied over the fall and winter due to no walking at all.  And she's a health coach.

And how is it possible that she barely moved for two seasons - isn't that when they were moving?  Doesn't one have to move to move?!

Edited by laurakaye
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(edited)

HOLD ON JUST A COTTON PICKING MINUTE!!! 

🤔

Is this the SAME Janelle Brown who complained she couldn't go outside for a walk in Vegas because of the heat?!? 

And now she's staying she sat on her ass for two seasons because of the Flagstaff weather?

wahh wahhhhhhhhhhh the blame game... 

jeeeeez Janelle, I thought you LIKED the seasons and the snow. Isn't that what you missed living in Vegas? 

I can't even.

ETA I just flashed on the Pixar film Wall-E. 

ETA2: This really burns my biscuits because I am relegated to a cast and crutches, housebound while Janelle who really has no real job per se is complaining about having to walk in the snow...grrrr

Edited by DakotaJustice
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17 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Whoever snapped those pics sold them to the website credited on the photos. I assume that's where Radar procured them.

Vegas is larger than Flagstaff. The Browns are now the visible fish in a smaller pond.

Just like attention whore Kootie wanted.  Janelle said hell no, she wasn't moving, and suddenly she's on board.  I would assume she still has guilt fillings about Gabe, and maybe other unresolved issues, too.  We know Kootie doesn't give a fuck.  Pretty damn sad.

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3 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Just like attention whore Kootie wanted.

Yes, on the one hand it's sad that someone can't even go to a farmer's market without their photo being taken.  BUT, Kody makes sure EVERYONE is aware of them wherever they go.  Is there a worker in ANY profession who has interacted with Kody and NOT been told about his 4 WIVES!!  (You may have missed this - KODY HAS 4 WIVES!!!!)  You can't really blame the people of Flagstaff for thinking they are inviting the attention and are happy to get it (no such thing as bad publicity, right?)

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20 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Phew, I’m so glad someone else sees this too! I feel mean also, but I can’t help it’s all I see when I look at both Maddie and Janelle. Ribbet Ribbet 🐸 

Her new book is out

janfroggy.gif

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On 5/6/2019 at 12:15 PM, ginger90 said:

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But hold on! She's saying she just did two miles for the first time in forever but what about THIS 9 days ago when she walked two miles to (and presumably two miles back unless she decided to Uber home) a tea house? Hmmm???

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9 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

But hold on! She's saying she just did two miles for the first time in forever but what about THIS 9 days ago when she walked two miles to (and presumably two miles back unless she decided to Uber home) a tea house? Hmmm???

Do they normally put foam topping on teas? I'm not a big hot tea drinker, but, that beverage looks like a latte or hot cocoa.  Is that from Janelle? 

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Just now, SunnyBeBe said:

Do they normally put foam topping on teas? I'm not a big hot tea drinker, but, that beverage looks like a latte or hot cocoa.  Is that from Janelle? 

I think it's a peppermint tea latte. 

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I don't know what was going on with Janelle in that photo at the open market. She may have been waiting for someone to meet her and they couldn't make it, but, she really does appear to have expanded more around the middle.  It looks very uncomfortable to me. I can see why she has no energy to move, really exercise and put a lot of effort into things.  She must be exhausted with all that weight. 

  I wonder if she just doesn't feel like going to some kind of facility and letting them just get it down....steam, very low cal, cold treatments, massage, lipo, etc.  whatever it takes to take down her middle. Normally, slow is better, but, she's just gotten so slow that she's backing up in the wrong direction.  

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11 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I don't know what was going on with Janelle in that photo at the open market. She may have been waiting for someone to meet her and they couldn't make it, but, she really does appear to have expanded more around the middle.  It looks very uncomfortable to me. I can see why she has no energy to move, really exercise and put a lot of effort into things.  She must be exhausted with all that weight. 

  I wonder if she just doesn't feel like going to some kind of facility and letting them just get it down....steam, very low cal, cold treatments, massage, lipo, etc.  whatever it takes to take down her middle. Normally, slow is better, but, she's just gotten so slow that she's backing up in the wrong direction.  

Yup, I noticed how large her gut is.... It must be exhausting hauling all that weight around.

She's beginning to look like a Dr. Now patient.

I also notice how red her face is in most pictures... She looks winded.

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9 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

Radar online is a notoriously unreliable source, her pictures look like normal Janelle pics to me.  I’m not sure why people would take health advice from her.

Other than stating that she sat in her car for a half hour before leaving (which was probably what whoever took the photos stated happened) there's nothing in they piece that is a mistruth or unreliable per se. I'm not going to laud Radar as a reliable source since they still post articles based on crap Kendra (who's been out of the family circle for almost 4 years now!!!) says, but these are photos submitted by what appears to be a resident of Flagstaff to a site intended for that purpose. 

I'm sure there are several Flagstaff residents making a little side money on photos of the Browns. Doesn't US Magazine still have that regular section called "Stars - They're Just Like Us!" with the same type of candid shots? 

I just wonder how much Radar paid for these photos, I'm going to guess maybe $30-50 a pic. Just a wild guess, we aren't talking Scarlett Johansen here. 

At this point the Browns probably expect it. If not, they should. 

If Janelle had styled out a little, say worn a nicer top, a little makeup and a more pleasant demeanor then radar would've probably gone "meh".  But she looks like a schlump so that's why they bought em.

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On 5/14/2019 at 11:41 PM, MakingBacon said:

Janelle might not have been depressed or unhappy at the farmer’s market. In some photographs I look miserable even though I am happy because I don’t photograph well. I also sometimes sit in my car with the motor and air conditioning on while I talk on the phone or look at emails/internet before I drive off. If we didn’t know who Janelle was, would we assume she was depressed or unhappy? Do people normally travel by themselves with big smiles on their faces all the time? Also, not everyone has a big mother’s day celebration. Maybe the kids at home already had plans or they decided to celebrate a different day. 

Or maybe she was waiting for "her turn" for some Mother's day time with Kodouche.

While the photos don't prove anything they certainly don't do anything to change my opinion that she's not as happy with her life as she portrays herself to be to the world.  She presents a public persona but my hunch is that her private life falls far short of that.  She has already admitted that being in a polygamous marriage has been tough, and I think it's probably tougher for her than for some of the other wives.  Plus she gave herself away on camera to not wanting to move to Flagstaff, and no amount of backpedaling on that will convince me her feelings have really changed on that.  All this stuff about loving the change of seasons, blah blah blah.  Not buying it.  Plus while one cupcake doesn't necessarily mean she eats them all the time, I don't eat them pretty much any time so I will still wonder if this is just the tip of the iceberg with her and that what we suspect about her dietary habits is true.  Obviously she has not lost one bit of weight and has possibly even gained it judging from the photos.  My theory upthread about her eating to soothe her unhappiness still stands.

I do agree with the creepiness and lack of ethics in those photos being posted at all, though, but this is what they signed on for and it's the price of fame, unfortunately.

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If Janelle really wants to get serious, she might consider retaining the services of ALLin.  It's run by Teddi Mellencamp from RHOBH. (John Mellencamp's daughter.)  It's a strict accountability program that will get you on the right track, until you meet your goals.  I've seen her in action on Flippin Out and she doesn't take any flack.  She could keep it secret and then expand her own business venture.  She'd get more respect, if she seemed to really be concerned about her own health and fitness.  

https://allinbyteddi.com/

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8 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Or maybe she was waiting for "her turn" for some Mother's day time with Kodouche.

While the photos don't prove anything they certainly don't do anything to change my opinion that she's not as happy with her life as she portrays herself to be to the world.  She presents a public persona but my hunch is that her private life falls far short of that.  She has already admitted that being in a polygamous marriage has been tough, and I think it's probably tougher for her than for some of the other wives.  Plus she gave herself away on camera to not wanting to move to Flagstaff, and no amount of backpedaling on that will convince me her feelings have really changed on that.  All this stuff about loving the change of seasons, blah blah blah.  Not buying it.  Plus while one cupcake doesn't necessarily mean she eats them all the time, I don't eat them pretty much any time so I will still wonder if this is just the tip of the iceberg with her and that what we suspect about her dietary habits is true.  Obviously she has not lost one bit of weight and has possibly even gained it judging from the photos.  My theory upthread about her eating to soothe her unhappiness still stands.

I do agree with the creepiness and lack of ethics in those photos being posted at all, though, but this is what they signed on for and it's the price of fame, unfortunately.

I agree with everything you said here and also wanted to add this. 

She's pretending to be in the health and fitness biz. 

She's at a Farmers Market for God's sake!! Apparently all she planned to do there was buy a cupcake and some lemonade. 

What a perfect opportunity to bring a reusable shopping bag and shop for fresh local produce and organic products, since she's always harping on about how she needs to get her veggies in and so on. 

She would have the perfect material for a Strife post. 

Nope, she drove 3 miles for a cupcake. 

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34 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

I agree with everything you said here and also wanted to add this. 

She's pretending to be in the health and fitness biz. 

She's at a Farmers Market for God's sake!! Apparently all she planned to do there was buy a cupcake and some lemonade. 

What a perfect opportunity to bring a reusable shopping bag and shop for fresh local produce and organic products, since she's always harping on about how she needs to get her veggies in and so on. 

She would have the perfect material for a Strife post. 

Nope, she drove 3 miles for a cupcake. 

Exactly!!!  Like she goes intending to walk the walk but can't do it and instead falls back on destructive eating habits.  Perhaps she was disappointed about something so she "treated" herself to soothe the pain.  But also, what is she doing eating a cupcake in the middle of the afternoon on Mother's Day?  Wouldn't there be some sort of special dinner involved on that day of all days?  Maybe she had arranged it as a "cheat day", but I'd find that a little hard to believe especially since as you pointed out, she didn't even buy any produce for the future!

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(edited)
20 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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"My cardio is in ok shape"

Whoa. WHAT? Janelle and I clearly have some major differences when it comes to what is considered "ok" cardio. I consider mine just "ok" and I ran 7 miles yesterday, but more slowly for an old competitive runner trying to claw my way back to "good" fitness. 

It's great that she's trying, but that's all she ever seems to do. Her only routine is lamenting about how she's fallen off the fitness wagon. She's had years to stick to it and if she had, she might have earned some credibility. 

I want to applaud her for the effort but I just can't any more. 

Edited by TurtlePower
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1 hour ago, TurtlePower said:

"My cardio is in ok shape"

Whoa. WHAT? Janelle and I clearly have some major differences when it comes to what is considered "ok" cardio. I consider mine just "ok" and I ran 7 miles yesterday, but more slowly for an old competitive runner trying to claw my way back to "good" fitness. 

It's great that she's trying, but that's all she ever seems to do. Her only routine is lamenting about how she's fallen off the fitness wagon. She's had years to stick to it and if she had, she might have earned some credibility. 

I want to applaud her for the effort but I just can't any more. 

This!

Her constant lamenting is really getting old and annoying.

Almost every post is some excuse about planning to to this but not following through and doing something else instead which would be okay once in a while but with Janelle it's every single time.

It's a constant drip, drip, drip of  "I drove to the gym but there were cars so I left",  "I planned to make this to eat but I was too tired" "I bought a huge sack of mint tea because I heard somewhere that it's good for something" "I whipped up this cup of green slime because ancient teachings say veggies are good for you" 🙄   Blah, blah, blah.... Where is the coaching? Where are the tips for pushing past the feeling of quiting and following through instead?  Where are the new recipe ideas for healthy alternatives? Where is anything of value?  I mean really... WTF?

Her Eeyore shtick has run it's course.

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(edited)

It's been a couple hours since I last posted and I'm STILL amazed that Janelle couldn't even go to a single booth to buy local produce. 

It's as if she was wandering around aimlessly, or driving around aimlessly with nothing better to do, saw the market, and thought "it's time for a snack!"  

Edited by DakotaJustice
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1 minute ago, DakotaJustice said:

It's been a couple hours since I last posted and I'm STILL amazed that Janelle couldn't even go to a single booth to buy local produce. 

She went there for the Rock Star cupcakes, not veggies.

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Someone asked about strength training. I edited the person’s name out.

Janelle’s reply:

I personally find functional movement like climbing stairs, squats etc to be very strengthening! I also don’t have a lot of patience for just doing sets and reps- so I like to do my strength training in more of a class setting like kettle bells or internal type training where it’s mixed in with lots of variety

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"Where is anything of value"  Exactly right. 

I think it costs something like $9.00 per month to subscribe to StriFe and I'm sure that those that do subscribe have enough excuses in their own arsenal.  They are looking to Janelle for inspiration, not expiration.

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9 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Janelle’s house:

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Sold for $100. over last listing price.  I'm guessing the metal mural of galloping horses was included as a negotiating tool, maybe they paid an extra $100. for Janelle agreeing to have it removed and filling the holes left.

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47 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

"Where is anything of value"  Exactly right. 

I think it costs something like $9.00 per month to subscribe to StriFe and I'm sure that those that do subscribe have enough excuses in their own arsenal.  They are looking to Janelle for inspiration, not expiration.

Yes!.... I hadn't thought of it that way....she validates their own excuses.

She sort of gives cover with the continuous drip, drip, drip of excuses... She normalizes it.

It's okay to linger endlessly in a life of lamenting.... accomplishing little to nothing on a daily basis.

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1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Someone asked about strength training. I edited the person’s name out.

Janelle’s reply:

I personally find functional movement like climbing stairs, squats etc to be very strengthening! I also don’t have a lot of patience for just doing sets and reps- so I like to do my strength training in more of a class setting like kettle bells or internal type training where it’s mixed in with lots of variety

She is the last person I would ask for any sort of exercise advise.  Until she is living what she preaches she is worse than google.

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(edited)

What do you think that Janelle prepares for a sit down home dinner for Kody, her and their kids?  Kody appeared to have a lost some weight. His belly was way down, so, is he just not eating what Janelle is serving? (BTW, I saw a photo online recently of Kody coming out of gym in workout clothes. No Janelle in sight.)

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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On 5/15/2019 at 11:35 AM, TurtlePower said:

Not just any frog. A pacman frog: 

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Turtle, this is exactly what I meant by nobody has any privacy! How did you get my picture?!?!?

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On 5/14/2019 at 10:58 PM, Sofa Sloth said:

Phew, I’m so glad someone else sees this too! I feel mean also, but I can’t help it’s all I see when I look at both Maddie and Janelle. Ribbet Ribbet 🐸 

My husband and I have called her “Froggy” since the beginning 🙊

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

internal type training

Is that where you sit in the Laz-y-boy with your eyes closed picturing yourself doing exercise?   You "internalize" yourself getting hot and sweaty?  

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(edited)

You know, with that photo of Janelle at the market and then yesterday seeing that photo of Kody coming out of the gym.......omg, it may be that someone in their town is getting their photos for money.  Hmmmm.....that's not going to go over well with Kody.  OMG, they may have to move again!  Hold on Robyn. 

I don't recall that kind of thing in Vegas.  No one seemed interested.  The family posted their OWN photos, but, that was it, except for those from TLC.

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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(edited)
7 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

You know, with that photo of Janelle at the market and then yesterday seeing that photo of Kody coming out of the gym.......omg, it may be that someone in their town is getting their photos for money.  Hmmmm.....that's not going to go over well with Kody.  OMG, they may have to move again!  Hold on Robyn. 

I don't recall that kind of thing in Vegas.  No one seemed interested.  The family posted their OWN photos, but, that was it, except for those from TLC.

I think there's more than one amateur photographer in Flagstaff scoping out the Browns. It's easy money, right? 

Also the houses are so far apart and I'm guessing that Kody likes that JUST FINE.  Might be one of the reasons he wanted to get out of the cul de sac. 

They can talk all they want about a Plyg Castle but I'm sure that Kody is VERY aware that even if they had the buckaroos to do it (just getting the water/gas/electric to the home site will probably cost a fortune) there's no way in HELL that the city/county is gonna approve it. 

Edited by DakotaJustice
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11 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

You know, with that photo of Janelle at the market and then yesterday seeing that photo of Kody coming out of the gym.......omg, it may be that someone in their town is getting their photos for money.  Hmmmm.....that's not going to go over well with Kody.  OMG, they may have to move again!  Hold on Robyn. 

I don't recall that kind of thing in Vegas.  No one seemed interested.  The family posted their OWN photos, but, that was it, except for those from TLC.

But we all know that Robyn's bones are remaining in Flagstaff, so they'll just have to move her floppy carcass.

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1 minute ago, Sandy W said:

But we all know that Robyn's bones are remaining in Flagstaff, so they'll just have to move her floppy carcass.

Maybe Kody can have her tanned carcass made into a saddle 

That way he can keep riding the old nag.

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On 5/14/2019 at 2:00 PM, Sandy W said:

Chocolate cupcake with lemonade?  Folks, we have a potential Strife Blog coming up, Janelle may have discovered that the citric acid in lemonade negates the calories in a cupcake and chocolate is a Rock Star all by itself.

well, if I were to buy a chocolate cupcake and eat it at the Farmers' Market I go to the most, I might well have a glass of lemonade with it if I was thirsty.  One of the vendors has really great lemonade by his booth, and everyone is welcome to sample it.   I think the only other drinks available are soft drinks in the vending machines.  Oh, there probably is bottled water in the machines.

And we sometimes have lemonade at dinner, with chocolate cookies or cupcakes for dessert.

Having embarrassed myself, I will show myself out.  

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8 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

WTF is that?  Could she have meant interval?  The only thing she's training her insides with is cupcakes.

“Internal type training”  =  Kegel exercises? (Sorry everybody for putting that idea out there 😉)

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6 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

You know, with that photo of Janelle at the market and then yesterday seeing that photo of Kody coming out of the gym.......omg, it may be that someone in their town is getting their photos for money.  Hmmmm.....that's not going to go over well with Kody.  OMG, they may have to move again!  Hold on Robyn. 

I don't recall that kind of thing in Vegas.  No one seemed interested.  The family posted their OWN photos, but, that was it, except for those from TLC.

You have me thinking they might be selling their own photos. The pictures might be planned photo ops. A lot of real celebrities set enter into deals with tabloids, magazines, etc. whereby they let people know where they will be and they get a cut of whatever the photographer makes on the sell of the photo. It happens all the time. It’s possibek the browns are trying to make a few bucks this way. They won’t get big money but even a free hundred dollars would help them out. I am sure these people are cash poor. 

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3 minutes ago, MakingBacon said:

You have me thinking they might be selling their own photos. The pictures might be planned photo ops. A lot of real celebrities set enter into deals with tabloids, magazines, etc. whereby they let people know where they will be and they get a cut of whatever the photographer makes on the sell of the photo. It happens all the time. It’s possibek the browns are trying to make a few bucks this way. They won’t get big money but even a free hundred dollars would help them out. I am sure these people are cash poor. 

Omg, that would make sense! I had not considered it. 

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9 hours ago, MakingBacon said:

You have me thinking they might be selling their own photos. The pictures might be planned photo ops.

But wouldn't you think they would make an effort to look decent or happy or something?  The whole (phony) premise of the show is how fantabulous polygamy is.  To show one wife alone on Mother's Day wandering aimlessly at a farm market hardly screams One Big Happy Family.

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18 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

But wouldn't you think they would make an effort to look decent or happy or something?  The whole (phony) premise of the show is how fantabulous polygamy is.  To show one wife alone on Mother's Day wandering aimlessly at a farm market hardly screams One Big Happy Family.

There's at least one enterprising amateur photographer in Flagstaff making a few extra bucks. I really don't think Radar is paying much. Three stories this week - Janelle frogging around the market, a story about the taxes they owe on the land with photos of said land, and the one that dropped yesterday about Kody only spending mother's day with Robyn and Christine. 

Based on the stories which cite "insiders" as sources I think that the Browns have some very nosey neighbors who are making a little grocery money by keeping tabs on the Browns' comings and goings.

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9 hours ago, MakingBacon said:

You have me thinking they might be selling their own photos. The pictures might be planned photo ops. A lot of real celebrities set enter into deals with tabloids, magazines, etc. whereby they let people know where they will be and they get a cut of whatever the photographer makes on the sell of the photo. It happens all the time. It’s possibek the browns are trying to make a few bucks this way. They won’t get big money but even a free hundred dollars would help them out. I am sure these people are cash poor. 

As Dakota Justice said, it might just be nosey neighbors, but the photos of Kody exiting the gym are definitely posed for whoever was taking the pictures.  He is smiling directly at the camera and he is positioning himself in corny moves that look like a cross between kung fu and yoga.  I doubt that Flagstaff is a large enough center to attract legitimate paparazzi so it may be fame whore Kody approaching anyone with their phone visible..."Hi there, I'm Kody Brown, of Sister Wives, seen Sunday nights on TLC you know, the one with 4 wives, I just bought the big spread out there on the Plains of Plague.  If you insist on taking my 'pitcher' with the phone camera in your hand..here, let me show you how it works...I require a performance fee.  Tell your friends and neighbors, I'll be shopping at Pep Boys on Saturday, I need some gadgets for my new blue sports car"...

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(edited)
19 hours ago, Sandy W said:

I think it costs something like $9.00 per month to subscribe to StriFe and I'm sure that those that do subscribe have enough excuses in their own arsenal.  They are looking to Janelle for inspiration, not expiration.

18 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

Yes!.... I hadn't thought of it that way....she validates their own excuses.

She sort of gives cover with the continuous drip, drip, drip of excuses... She normalizes it.

It's okay to linger endlessly in a life of lamenting.... accomplishing little to nothing on a daily basis.

I don't know how many followers "Strife with Janelle" has, but sadly I think this is exactly why her followers are following her - to confirm that this Z-list celeb health coach, who is overweight and stressed just like them, has a whole list of excuses about why everything is so harrrrrrrrrd.

She COULD be in a position to actually help those people.  She COULD be losing weight, even a few pounds a month, if she actually stuck to anything for more than five minutes and stopped with all the miracle products.  Instead, she is leading people down a road to nowhere.  It's too hot?  Don't go outside.  It's too cold?  Don't go outside.  Walk every day for a week but then don't walk for a month and see what happens to your leg muscles.  Try ghee, peppermint, canned cabbage, nutmeg and avocado smoothies.  When those don't fill you up, sneak to Burger King and eat your Whopper behind the dumpster.

It's frustrating because I actually think Janelle is clinically depressed, not just because of her weight but because of her lifelong tendency to just check out.  She needs to fix herself, and she thinks the way to do it is to pose as someone who is helping others.  In reality, no one is getting better.  I would have a ton more admiration for her if she would drop the fake health coach gig and seriously work on herself, and let the subsequent photos show us that she's making progress.

Edited by laurakaye
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Well, I'll keep my mind open about it. But, if it was the family doing it, then, they likely know that the worse they look, the more valuable the photos may be.  Because, that's just how they operate.  Better headlines to diss someone's appearance is sad, but, true. I recall how the tabloids used to love to blast photos of various women's fat behinds on the magazine cover.  The more cellulite the better. It was taken by someone just as they were bending over to get their beach towel or to put something in their car.  Very shameful.  Although, I'm not a fan of Kirstie Ally, they were terrible to her at one time.  

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