Say Yes To The Dress - General Discussion

[Irlandesa]

13 hours ago, Harry24 said:

I actually really liked the 80s-ish dress on Randy’s assistant.  I would be interested to see what it looks like when fitted correctly.  Agree that the veil looked a little odd with it.

I loved the dress too.  It's probably more appropriate for a winter wedding but I liked how simple, beautiful and different it was.  It was unique.  And she is going to cover up some of her cleavage she said so that will probably put more focus on the slit.

9 hours ago, weightyghost said:

o go from Randy pointing out ~bumps and lumps to Gok calling the friend/sister crazy for bumps that weren't(or even if they were) there.

I do like the more variety in body types in the UK version whereas when we get a plus size in Kleinfeld's, it turns into "I hope one of these three plus dresses pleases the bride." 

But in defense of Randy, he wasn't criticizing her body;  he was criticizing the way it fit the curves and bunched out because of the material. She might not notice the bumps in the initial trial because she's so taken with the silhouette but it's the kind of thing she likely would notice when it's too late to do anything about it.  It's the kind of thing Randy has to think about when he designs so he's likely more prepped to notice those things and knows what can't be fixed in alterations.

And I do think Gok normally would point something like that out too.  Now, would the bride have cared if her friend hadn't pointed it out?  Maybe not, especially since it was in the back.  But they did come up with a good solution.

I hate bows.  And I hate those half overskirts.  So I didn't love the dance mom's daughter's dress.

I did like virtual appointment bride's dress.  I especially loved that it had pockets! I love pockets.

Edited July 19, 2021 by Irlandesa

[cameron]

Did anyone figure out why the virtual bride had only 24 hours to shop because of covid?  She's from Tennessee, not some other country.

[cynicat]

15 hours ago, weightyghost said:

I would love to exclusively have the UK version

A little perk on D+ is that they have a whole bunch of 'Say Yes...' series from other countries.  You can watch all of the Gok shows along with others from Australia, Canada, and I think there is a version from Asia. (and others)   Totally binge-worthy.

[amarante]

I don’t think Randy was body shaming when he steered his assistant to another fabric. Randy has dressed larger women in figure revealing dresses and, at least to me, seems to genuinely love women even if they aren’t model sizes.

I think the issue was that silk charmeuse is unflattering to even thin women because it is so unforgiving in terms of showing everything. I mean it wouid shiw the outline of your belly button 😂 The same cut in a different fabric is more flattering  

Gok didn’t put charmeuse on his women and he even added a bit of lace in a few strategic areas. 

To me there is a huge difference between recognizing that some dresses are more flattering and dressing anyone over a size 2 in a tent. Enhancing through dressing is different than disguising out of shame. 

Edited July 19, 2021 by amarante

[Bklyndeb]

6 hours ago, cameron said:

Did anyone figure out why the virtual bride had only 24 hours to shop because of covid?  She's from Tennessee, not some other country.

Depending on when it was filmed, NYS had testing and quarantine requirements for people who traveled to the state for more than 24 hours.  If you were"just passing through" you were not subject to those restrictions.  

[cameron]

1 hour ago, Bklyndeb said:

Depending on when it was filmed, NYS had testing and quarantine requirements for people who traveled to the state for more than 24 hours.  If you were"just passing through" you were not subject to those restrictions.  

Thanks.

[junejunehannah]

On 7/17/2021 at 11:43 PM, Gemma Violet said:

Lol--Randy really gave his blunt opinion on his assistant's dress.  First time he's been so brutally honest with a bride.  I guess he really does think of her as a family member and wanted her to get it right.

I didn't really care for the dress she ended up choosing, though.

Agree! I did not understand why they all liked it. At all. 

While watching Dance Mom Jill I kept saying to the TV - she is a MONSTER! I cannot believe the way she was acting like her daughter was big and curvy? Maybe she did not mean that but it's how it came across. So weird. During the initial pandemic days when I was spending hours on Tik Tok for something to do...Kendall was getting into a lot of fights with people and it was interesting. Mostly political but she came across pretty awful IMO. 

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, Bklyndeb said:

Depending on when it was filmed, NYS had testing and quarantine requirements for people who traveled to the state for more than 24 hours.  If you were"just passing through" you were not subject to those restrictions.  

Not only that.  It's possible her work also had quarantine restrictions if they travel out of state.  We mostly worked from home but there was some in-the-building work too and if we left the state, we couldn't enter the building for ten days. 

[Rootbeer]

I was glad to see that no one on either the US or UK version was looking for a strapless dress.  For way too many years, every bride, no matter what her size or shape, wanted strapless and it was just not flattering on way too many of them.  It seems like there is a wider variety of styles on the market now and that is a good thing.

Dance Moms' Jill was horrible on DM, horrible here.  She is just an awful person who has subjected her daughters to a lot of unwarranted criticism.

I, too, did not love the dress that the assistant chose, the V was too deep, the slit too high for a wedding dress, IMO.  It will probably look better post alteration,  With an interesting headpiece, NOT a traditional veil; it could be quite stunning once the V is lessened, the sleeves shortened and otherwise fitted to her figure.

[CrazyMoon]

1 hour ago, Irlandesa said:

I did like virtual appointment bride's dress.  I especially loved that it had pockets! I love pockets.

The pockets were awesome!

 

[cameron]

8 hours ago, CrazyMoon said:

The pockets were awesome!

 

Sorry, not a fan of pockets in a wedding dress.  By the end of the day/night, they will probably be soiled fabric from continuous use.

[cynicat]

1 hour ago, cameron said:

Sorry, not a fan of pockets in a wedding dress.  By the end of the day/night, they will probably be soiled fabric from continuous use.

And so you won't be able to wear it again?

[Done with it]

Why does a bride need pockets on her wedding gown?  

[Irlandesa]

2 hours ago, shopping queen said:

Why does a bride need pockets on her wedding gown?  

Tissues, mints, chapstick, it keeps hands warm, place to put hands when feeling awkward, for a casual look, business cards for networking....;)

[Shannon L.]

2 hours ago, shopping queen said:

Why does a bride need pockets on her wedding gown?  

I would use it to hold a tube of lipstick so I could freshen it up before the reception and maybe a few tissues in case someone said something that made me cry (I'm a happy crier).

Edited July 20, 2021 by Shannon L.

[rur]

22 hours ago, junejunehannah said:

While watching Dance Mom Jill I kept saying to the TV - she is a MONSTER!

IMO,  her showing up in an all-orange outfit pretty much telegraphed that she wanted to be the center of attention, not the bride to be. 

Loved all of Gok's brides, they were lovely women wearing lovely dresses.

[jacksgirl]

Calling gigantic shenanigans that Stacy can fit into the dress on the mannequin. No way. Such a producer driven gimmick. Booo. 

[Gemma Violet]

I'm perplexed by the bride who was obsessed with her panty lines showing and brought several different pairs of underwear to her fitting.  Don't many brides wear some type of body shaper/girdle like Spanx under their gown (especially the mermaid gowns)?  That would have taken care of any problem.

Edited July 27, 2021 by Gemma Violet

[Dehumidifier]

The DUI driver who blinded the young lady in last night's episode only got 120 days in jail and 5 years probation. 

[amarante]

10 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

Calling gigantic shenanigans that Stacy can fit into the dress on the mannequin. No way. Such a producer driven gimmick. Booo. 

That was obviously a way to promote the new exclusive black designer - not that there is anything wrong with that but the coincidental nature of it all was preposterous including the ability for a not very thin woman to fit into a sample size of a very slinky dress and that the designer would be conveniently available for a zoom call.

[Koalagirl]

10 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

Calling gigantic shenanigans that Stacy can fit into the dress on the mannequin. No way. Such a producer driven gimmick. Booo. 

She barely squeezed into that dress which miraculously fit her a bit better at her wedding when she was 2 or 3 months pregnant.  

[Chit Chat]

I missed the July 17th episode, but I see that Kleinfeld had to do some redesign with the open areas (plexiglass barriers).  Did they say much about that on the last episode?  It looks like they're limiting how many people are in there too.

On 7/20/2021 at 11:24 AM, rur said:

Loved all of Gok's brides, they were lovely women wearing lovely dresses.

I loved that the young woman who didn't want her chest and arms to be so exposed found a dress that looked great on her and that she was comfortable in.  I didn't like the first dress she tried on.  It was too much dress, and while the second dress was beautiful, it wasn't right for her, so I'm glad they didn't try to goad her into buying it.  The third dress with the sleeves and more open neckline looked great on her.  

The only thing I didn't like about the dress that the "sexy" bride bought was the high neckline.  There was something about the lace being that high that I didn't care for.  Maybe if it was just a tad lower I would've liked it better, but at least they put something under the dress so that she wasn't naked!!  

[CrazyMoon]

20 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

at least they put something under the dress so that she wasn't naked!!  

She was all about being naked...so not impressed. I did very much like the dress itself with the lining. Not a fan of shock value brides. That desire to be soooooo extra doesn't work for me. I enjoy Gok's brides. VPL bride may have a bit of OCD...

I found Stacy the Atlanta bride irksome. She seemed so entitled. The need to spend +/-10k for wedding dresses seems wasteful to me...find one standout that makes you feel spectacular and run with it. The new designer has a very bright future. The dress was beautiful.

Shaela about ripped my heart out. She will be a stunning bride. I grew up with a blind neighbor. I love that she will have a 'regular' life. She went to public kindergarten where she fell off the monkey bars and broke her leg...the teacher called the mom "I can take Janie blind. I can take Janie with a broken leg...but I cant do blind WITH a broken leg" Janie sat it out a home until her leg healed. She went to public high school, graduated with honors, played beautiful piano, college educated, became a social worker, lived on her own. Sadly, her original tumor returned, was inoperable this time and she died at 29...
 

[rur]

12 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

I'm perplexed at the bride who was obsessed with her panty lines showing and brought several different pairs of underwear to her fitting.  Don't many brides wear some type of body shaper/girdle like Spanx under their gown (especially the mermaid gowns)?  That would have taken care of any problem.

I always wonder if letting the gown out a quarter of an inch or so would also solve the problem. 

[CrazyMoon]

15 minutes ago, rur said:

I always wonder if letting the gown out a quarter of an inch or so would also solve the problem. 

Of course it would, but she'd still be obsessed with it. I couldn't see any VPL with any of the knickers she tried it with. 

Oh, and my other complaint about Kleinfeld's Stacy...that ridiculous baby doll dress did absolutely nothing for her. 

[cameron]

44 minutes ago, CrazyMoon said:

Of course it would, but she'd still be obsessed with it. I couldn't see any VPL with any of the knickers she tried it with. 

Oh, and my other complaint about Kleinfeld's Stacy...that ridiculous baby doll dress did absolutely nothing for her. 

Can't understand the obsession with their rear ends and seeing how tight the dress can fit over that part of the anatomy.  Don't think it's a flattering look.

[Marisagf]

Shaela's segments were so interesting to me.  Really well done, except for Lisa being a little over the top.  (She never used to be that way, but she has been since she's gotten much more camera time!)  It was fascinating to me how Shaela felt the fabric and really "saw" the dress.  And Randy's comments about "feeling" in the dress was bang on in this case.

I also call shenanigans on the Atlanta bride.  I cannot understand why the groom had to wear two tuxes.  The first one was awful!  So, not be outdone, she has to shell out money for an second dress.  That being said, I wasn't crazy about her ceremony dress, but it really suited her.  I tried to find a price for it, and the best I could find was that it was in the $5000 range.  I liked her reception dress and I was so glad it wasn't a retread of the ceremony dress.  So many of these two-dress brides on this show do that.  They want a second dress but it looks so much like the first one.  Why bother?

As for the designer, kudos to Kleinfeld for promoting her.  I looked up her line and it's great!  

I love Say Yes to the Dress England and I wish TLC would promote it separately from the original show.  You wouldn't even know it was on unless you were watching the first hour and stayed until the end.  Gok is so great with the brides and the price points are down to earth for some beautiful dresses.  I loved how the one bride freaked out over a dress that was $3000 pounds.  In US dollars it's over $5500.  The Kleinfeld brides will spend that in a heartbeat for some stupid Pnina stripper fairy monstrosity.  

The VPL bride wore a thong in the end.  Well, duh.  That's why people wear thongs!  (Personally, I can't stand them!) 

The bride who lost all the weight looked beautiful in all the gowns she tried and I liked all of them for her.  

That Gok created an underskirt on the spot for the see-through dress was amazing.  Take that Randy and Monty!

 

Edited July 25, 2021 by Marisagf

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, Marisagf said:

That Gok created an underskirt on the spot for the see-through dress was amazing.  Take that Randy and Monty!

I don't think he did.  They had one around.  They'd just customize one for her if she selected that dress.  I gather it's a rather common thing to do.  I suspect the only people who are going underwear only with that dress were the runway models and that underskirts are very common.  And I feel like I've seen something similar on the US SYTTD.  (Although maybe the US version didn't have any reservations about the see-thruness but when they showed it in motion, it had the skirt. )

I actually liked the Atlanta Bride and the fact that the highlighted a new designer, no matter how contrived the story might have been. I thought her boobs looked good and I guess the pregnancy might have explained that. 

I also liked the green tux of her husband but I do like a bit of non-traditional colors.  (It's why I loved the flowers on the dress of the knickers-obsessed bride). 

I kind of got the sense that people liked the blind bride more in Randy's dress but felt she should go with the one she chose because it made her feel better.  Or maybe that's just me.  I liked the Randy look more.

 

[amarante]

Randy’s dress was gorgeous on the model but it didn’t look the same on the blind girl. Maybe if it had been fitted to her it would have looked better. Even when the sales assistant adjusted the straps, the mid section didn’t look the same. I don’t think it was a dress that wouldn’t look well on a *normal* woman but I think the midriff had to be placed in the right spot fir the style to look well.

Of course they had the elastic skirt for Gok’s bride and even if they didn’t, it would take about two minutes to sew up two sides of a stretchy material on a machine. I find the transparent dresses with slips that end mid thigh to look out of balance. I think lining the whole dress is more proportional and I don’t even understand why seeing your knees and calves is somehow sexy. 

[Refresh]

On 7/18/2021 at 8:46 AM, Harry24 said:

 

I actually really liked the 80s-ish dress on Randy’s assistant.  I would be interested to see what it looks like when fitted correctly.  Agree that the veil looked a little odd with it.

 

I liked it too. thought it looked great on her figure. And will look even better once fitted to her. Hope they do a follow up so we can see her dress and what she ultimately choose for hair accessories. 

Does anyone know for larger busted women what kind of undergarments they would use on that type of dress? 
 

This is that dress, which looks very different on the designer model. 

https://www.pronovias.com/wedding-dress-a-line-v-neckline-long-sleeved-meredith

Edited July 25, 2021 by Refresh

[cameron]

15 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I don't think he did.  They had one around.  They'd just customize one for her if she selected that dress.  I gather it's a rather common thing to do.  I suspect the only people who are going underwear only with that dress were the runway models and that underskirts are very common.  And I feel like I've seen something similar on the US SYTTD.  (Although maybe the US version didn't have any reservations about the see-thruness but when they showed it in motion, it had the skirt. )

I actually liked the Atlanta Bride and the fact that the highlighted a new designer, no matter how contrived the story might have been. I thought her boobs looked good and I guess the pregnancy might have explained that. 

I also liked the green tux of her husband but I do like a bit of non-traditional colors.  (It's why I loved the flowers on the dress of the knickers-obsessed bride). 

I kind of got the sense that people liked the blind bride more in Randy's dress but felt she should go with the one she chose because it made her feel better.  Or maybe that's just me.  I liked the Randy look more.

 

Personally don't think having your boobs hanging out in a wedding dress is a good look.  Your not a stripper.

Edited July 26, 2021 by cameron

[Irlandesa]

Meh.  I didn't think she looked like a stripper at all but even strippers deserve to be brides.

5 hours ago, ChitChat said:

The only thing I didn't like about the dress that the "sexy" bride bought was the high neckline.  There was something about the lace being that high that I didn't care for. 

Oh I forgot to respond to this.  I think my issue with it was that it bunched out every time she moved her arms.  It wasn't snug to her chest so it looked ill fitting even though it maybe wasn't.  

 

Edited July 25, 2021 by Irlandesa

[BradandJanet]

I love the SYTHD England show. The brides are more relatable than the wealthy Kleinfeld customers, and Gok is very good.  

However, I didn't like the see-through dress on the bride with the grade-school-aged child, but it's not my wedding. I loved the dress with the portrait neckline on the bride who had lost weight. It was a heavier fabric than the one she chose, but it framed her face so nicely. 

[rur]

39 minutes ago, BradandJanet said:

I loved the dress with the portrait neckline on the bride who had lost weight. It was a heavier fabric than the one she chose, but it framed her face so nicely. 

Was that the one where she didn't like the bare shoulders? I thought that was a great dress and I thought she looked lovely wearing it. Those dropped shoulders and wider skirt made her waist look tiny. 

[amarante]

3 hours ago, rur said:

Was that the one where she didn't like the bare shoulders? I thought that was a great dress and I thought she looked lovely wearing it. Those dropped shoulders and wider skirt made her waist look tiny. 

I thought that was a much more flattering dress than the one she chose as I don't think the lacy sleeves were flattering. They weren't disguising anything but chose brought attention to them and not in a good way. 

The wider off the shoulder "caps" were much more flattering as was the the cut which exposed the best part of her body which was her décolletage and neck parts - and then it tapered into the waist - very flattering proportions. 

If you aren't stick thin just covering everything isn't flattering. For example, long sleeves are not flattering versus three quarter length sleeves because with the long sleeves you just see a wider mass of material at the waist and hips versus breaking it up with what is generally not a problem area for women - the area from below the elbow to the wrist. Just pushing up sleeves in casual clothing is generally a way to look more slender.

[Shannon L.]

How many "typical men" wear two tuxedos at their wedding?

I loved the last 2 dresses that the bride with body issues tried on. The second was my favorite,  but the last one was nice, too. 

I'm tired of brides worrying that they won't find a dress after trying only 2 on. 

I love Gok. I think the English version of this show is my favorite. 

[Vermicious Knid]

Didn't Gok also have a blind bride? He was really wonderful describing the dress while she felt the material. Had to laugh at him being all 'this is the daring-est! dress! ever!' because we've spent years looking at see through Pninas. A sheath will look very nice under it.

Quote

The wider off the shoulder "caps" were much more flattering

I totally agreed with the bride on this. While the silhouette was very nice for her waist the off the should straps made her shoulders and arms look very fleshy and flabby. The one she picked was pretty nice.

Ghost Brothers. Are we sure this isn't a skit on SNL?

[roughing it]

21 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I kind of got the sense that people liked the blind bride more in Randy's dress but felt she should go with the one she chose because it made her feel better.  Or maybe that's just me.  I liked the Randy look more.

I did not like Randy's dress on Shaela.  It looked lumpy and dumpy on her. It seems better suited for a taller figure.  She looked like a little girl playing dress up. 

[BradandJanet]

I hope the little stretchy thing under the lace dress worked for Gok's daring bride. I can imagine tugging at it all evening as sitting, walking, and dancing cause it to ride up. Maybe the custom made one will stay where it needs to be. Or she could borrow some knickers from no-panty-line bride. 

[Bad Example]

UGH.  

Kleinfeld, shenanigans are gross.  We're not stupid.  We don't need the prayers and the fake dramatics to be introduced to a new and talented black designer.  

Vaguely related:  Did Stacey know beforehand she was marrying a leprechaun?

[DiamondGirl]

21 hours ago, Bad Example said:

UGH.  

Kleinfeld, shenanigans are gross.  We're not stupid.  We don't need the prayers and the fake dramatics to be introduced to a new and talented black designer.  

Vaguely related:  Did Stacey know beforehand she was marrying a leprechaun?

Andrea, the new designer, is on the current version of Heidi and Tim’s designer competition show on Amazon.  She’s really good!

[jacksgirl]

5 minutes ago, DiamondGirl said:

Andrea, the new designer, is on the current version of Heidi and Tim’s designer competition show on Amazon.  She’s really good!

So glad you said that. Putting 2 and 2 together now. Andrea is talented. She and Gary are my favorites so far.

[weightyghost]

23 hours ago, Bad Example said:

We're not stupid.  We don't need the prayers and the fake dramatics to be introduced to a new and talented black designer.  

and the fact that, didn't they say it was the first black designer that they carried? EVER?! In 2021? You don't get applause for that Kleinfelds

[Ciarrai]

On 7/25/2021 at 7:18 AM, Koalagirl said:

She barely squeezed into that dress which miraculously fit her a bit better at her wedding when she was 2 or 3 months pregnant.  

It didn't even fit her then; every time she turned around in that dress you could see it wasn't zipped all the way to the top.

[Grizzly]

Ok. Love is love. But when Carly's mom was like this is my wedding too, I've never been married. I'm thinking, legally your daughter isn't going to be either. And I was so curious as to who the other 2 women were. Was one Paulo's mom?Dresses were gorgeous.

English version. I get so upset with these entourages that think their opinion matters more than the bride's.  At least these brides stood up for what they wanted.

[Irlandesa]

I must have been hormonal because all of the NY brides made me emotional. The throuple brides picked out gorgeous dresses and I loved that they got such support from their families. 

And the wedding for the doctor bride was just gorgeous. It really did look like a tropical getaway. 

14 hours ago, Grizzly said:

English version. I get so upset with these entourages that think their opinion matters more than the bride's.  At least these brides stood up for what they wanted.

Normally, I agree.  But those stupid over skirts have been a wedding dress pet peeve of mine for a while now so I was completely rooting for "Nan."  This might have been the best over skirt look I've seen on either version of the show but that illusion only lasted while she was standing still and the camera was looking straight on.  Because she had so much going on with the dress, the plain over skirt made a nice little halo. But from the side or behind or walking down the stairs?  Yuck.

I loved the dress the black bride chose.  The first one was nice too. 

Those semi-sleeves on the blush bride's dress just look like something that will rip off.  I dug the color scheme of the wedding, though.

Edited August 1, 2021 by Irlandesa

[Chit Chat]

10 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

But those stupid over skirts have been a wedding dress pet peeve of mine for a while now so I was completely rooting for "Nan."  This might have been the best over skirt look I've seen on either version of the show but that illusion only last while she was standing still and the camera was looking straight on.  Because she had so much going on with the dress, the plain over skirt made a nice little halo. But from the side or behind or walking down the stairs? 

I agreed with Nan too.  I like an overskirt, but I didn't like that particular one with that dress.  Maybe if it wasn't so plain and had some of the same material on it as the dress did, then it wouldn't have looked mismatched.  Maybe it looked better in person.

[amarante]

That overskirt in the English version was just terrible and detracted from the dress.

The dress had a lovely back which was part of the beauty of the original design. Why would you hide that by putting on a bulky layer of cheap net?

The only time these overskirts work is when the original dress is very sleek and so a voluminous overskirt provides a more "traditional" princess look for the ceremony and then when it is taken off for the reception the bride has a different look and it is probably more comfortable than dragging around yards of fabric. 

The overskirt added nothing to the beauty of the dress during the ceremony. When the bride is walking down the aisle, you see the front of the dress. For most of the ceremony when people are viewing the back of the dress, the overskirt is actually less attractive than the gorgeous back of the dress.

Pageant girl should step away from the botox and fillers. I don't understand why young women do this to themselves as it makes them look like a 50 year old real housewife.

ETA - The British show was filmed before the pandemic as the close up of the wedding showed it was held in August 2019. From what I have read the pandemic has quite altered the economics of weddings and some are speculating that the changes are going to be permanent in terms of many people opting for smaller less expensive weddings even when restrictions have been fully lifted.

Edited August 1, 2021 by amarante

[Chit Chat]

22 minutes ago, amarante said:

The dress had a lovely back which was part of the beauty of the original design. Why would you hide that by putting on a bulky layer of cheap net?

I'm surprised that Gok didn't put a better looking overskirt on her.   FWIW, I thought she was being a bit of an ass the way she talked about her Nan in her THs.  Maybe the other ladies told her what she wanted to hear, but Nan at least had the courage to tell her that it didn't look good.  Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Maybe I'm wrong!  :)  

[rur]

One of my takeaways after seeing both shows is that bigger busted women NEED TO WEAR BRAS! It doesn't matter how young you are, once the girls reach a certain size, they can't be perky;  they need some support, and they need more support than a soft cup sewn into a dress can provide.

I was pleased that the two young women in this thruple seemed to actually be friends, and it seemed to be a better situation than the one a couple years ago where the second "wife" found her (already married) intended on sugar daddy dot com. But nevertheless, person three in this arrangement still has no legal standing. I wish them well, but I hope she's keeping separate bank accounts. Even if its an open marriage, she'll always be the other person.