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S09.E01: The Blind Auditions Premiere

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I tell ya, as the show started I could have listened to Blake sing "Don't Speak" in its entirety, about fifty hundred times. I absolutely loved the way he sounded! 

 

Edited because I do know the difference between it's and its.

Edited by MaryPatShelby
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I know it's exactly what the show wants - he did get the pimp spot after all - but I'm all about Barrett.

MaryPat Shelby, I thought the same thing. I kept thinking he should record a country version of Don't Speak.

Edited by Gbb
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Some good people tonight.  I will confess to Jordan reminding me a little of Julia Sweeney as Pat.   He does have a great voice.    I hope he does well.

 

I really liked Naja and the little girl with the hat--I didn't catch her name--she has a really unique singing style.

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Some good people tonight. I will confess to Jordan reminding me a little of Julia Sweeney as Pat. He does have a great voice. I hope he does well.

He made me think of Garrett from Community. A lot. (He also made me cry a little. I thought he was awesome. Jordan, that is)

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Edited by Gbb
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Blake has an amazing voice when he gets away from the drunken hillbilly carp he normally sings.

Yeah, I forget sometimes what a big voice he has. That long note at the end was killer.

I loved, loved, loved Nadja. Loved her voice, her style, her song choice, and her story. It's so weird, because I'm not really a Blake fan, but every season my favorites end up on his team, and they aren't necessarily country. I guess we have the same tastes.

Second choice is probably the last guy, or the girl with the hat. I liked him for sing choice as much as anything. I didn't really care for his stage presence. Step away from the Garth comparisons, Blake.

The girl with the hat... I loved her voice, and I thought she was great on stage, but I generally just can't root for teenagers on these shows. We'll see how she does moving forward.

I really hate when the coaches freak out about how a person looked different from what they expected. Gwen did it twice tonight: once with Nadja, and once with Jordan. There's just really no way that doesn't sound at least slightly insulting.

And WTF with all the "the world needs someone like you" nonsense with Jordan? The world needs to be reminded that homely people have feelings, too? Ugh, ugh, ugh. He took it well - maybe he realizes that narrative will help his chances - but I would've been pissed.

All in all, it's good to have the show back. I really like this combo of coaches, even though I like Usher and Xtina, too. But this grouping seems so fun.

I am going to be really tired of Gwen's hair and Pharrell's pants by the end of the blinds, though. I wish the stylists would tone down the oddness a little when the outfits and hairstyles are going to be worn for multiple episodes.

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Gwen ain't any good at this show, but she sure looks like she's gotten herself in ridiculously good shape.


Blake has an amazing voice when he gets away from the drunken hillbilly carp he normally sings.

It's a lack of taste more than a lack of talent.

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Is Barrett the guy who went last and is 35?  I didn't like him at all and thought he was trying way to hard to show he was something, he may not have been.

 

Didn't see the special in the teenager with braces.

 

Agree with poster who said they didn't hear anything they would download.

 

Hated Gwen's hairdo.

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Hated the sob story pieces.  Trying to extract viewer investment in the girl with the stepdad who died in Afganistan is just production driven crapola.  I'm sincerely sorry for her loss and for all the losses endured by the families and friends who have lost someone in Service.  But this is not the time nor place for that.

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I wasn't all that impressed wtth Barrett. Great personality, but his voice did nothing for me. 

 

Siahna and Jordan were my favorites of the night. Jordan was a great choice to have us play along. 

I thought Jordan was great .But dude you are from singer from Harlan and you somehow don't know 'You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive ' is a song about miners dying of black lung not a joke .

 

Edited by Humbugged
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I never watch the back stories on this show.  I FF through it to the audition and judges comments etc.  So I never know who lost their dad or is broke or the family needs them to win to support everyone etc.  Makes it much easier to watch.

 

Nothing outstanding last night but promos promise next episode has awesome mind blowing talent.  If I was one of the singers from last night I would be a bit offended by that statement.  Well, maybe not.

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I never watch the back stories on this show.  I FF through it to the audition and judges comments etc.  So I never know who lost their dad or is broke or the family needs them to win to support everyone etc.  Makes it much easier to watch.

I do the same thing.  I FF until I see them start to sing, and then I FF until I see them hug a coach so I know which one they picked. I told my son it's the best way to watch the show, and he said, "Or you can just not watch it."  Good point, honey!

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I felt bad for Chuck Woolery's kid.  He did seem scared to death and wasn't ready for something like that.

 

And as a child of the '80s, I'm rather shocked they didn't dig up Gunnar and Matthew Nelson to come with him to the audition.

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I really hate when the coaches freak out about how a person looked different from what they expected. Gwen did it twice tonight: once with Nadja, and once with Jordan. There's just really no way that doesn't sound at least slightly insulting.

 

 

I know. This really bothers me. The person then has to think, what, do I look better or worse than how I sing? Either way, it's an insult. But I guess if you wanna be on this show, you gotta smile and suck it up and say, "Hey, I pick YOU for my judge!"

the drunken hillbilly carp

 

 

I have to say, this cracked me up, every time I saw it.

 

I didn't think the guy from Harlan looked all that unusual. Were the judges all gushy because he has glasses, a normal-guy haircut and is on the heavy side? And a plaid shirt? Does a voice have to match the appearance to be successful or believable? Although in the show's defense, I'm guessing TPTB make judges go all goo-goo about those who look different, so as to teach a "lesson" and, mostly, to fill up time. They were all complimentary to the woman with the bleached blond hair and the one with the violet hair and crazy dress. THAT was okay. But an overweight guy with glasses? Somehow that's all wrong?

 

Clay Aiken did okay on American Idol (and after) with his glasses and goofy haircut and clothes.

 

As for the line about getting out of Harlan alive, yeah, the song is about black lung but I think if you grew up there you are entitled to make it mean anything you want. It's a double entendre.

Edited by saber5055
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Blake has an amazing voice when he gets away from the drunken hillbilly carp he normally sings.

 

I have to say, this cracked me up, every time I saw it.

Is a Bass close enough to a Carp?

 

I'm sure Blake owns one of these, of course.

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I'm hoping Blake's next gf has great song choices for him. I love his singing and he has great stage presence. He's easy to underestimate. (I remember Lionel Ritchie saying on the show that Blake was a hard act to follow because of his powerful vocals. That surprised me but it does make sense.)  I hope maybe he'll get a gf who pushes him away from the carp (ha!)--a lot of which, unfortunately, he writes himself--and toward songs that are actually good.  I'd love to get an album from him with music I actually like, even some covers of old classics could be good. But "Honeybee" etc? I just can't.

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I never watch the back stories on this show.  I FF through it to the audition and judges comments etc.  So I never know who lost their dad or is broke or the family needs them to win to support everyone etc.  Makes it much easier to watch.

 

Nothing outstanding last night but promos promise next episode has awesome mind blowing talent.  If I was one of the singers from last night I would be a bit offended by that statement.  Well, maybe not.

I refuse to watch them anymore.  They're a stupid waste of time. That and Carson's Special Snowflake Road Trip to interview the special chosen contestant.  It honestly makes me want to actively root against them (which I know is childish, but whatever...). 

 

The girl with the hat... I loved her voice, and I thought she was great on stage, but I generally just can't root for teenagers on these shows. We'll see how she does moving forward.

I really hate when the coaches freak out about how a person looked different from what they expected. Gwen did it twice tonight: once with Nadja, and once with Jordan. There's just really no way that doesn't sound at least slightly insulting.

And WTF with all the "the world needs someone like you" nonsense with Jordan? The world needs to be reminded that homely people have feelings, too? Ugh, ugh, ugh. He took it well - maybe he realizes that narrative will help his chances - but I would've been pissed.

 

I really liked hat girl, but I, too, have a hard time rooting for the kids.  I always seem to gravitate towards the older, more seasoned contestants who have "paid their dues" so to speak.  We shall see though. 

 

The bit with Jordan was making me cringe.  I was like, "Gwen, Adam - STFU. Please.  I beg you."   I get that Jordan sounded like a female and *gasp* was a white dude, but COME ON.  

Edited by beaker73
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Yes, "I'm shocked that you look like this after hearing you sing" can mean a lot of things, but none of them is, "Wow, you sing so ugly but you're really so handsome/beautiful!"  I wish they would stop all that.  Other than that, I enjoyed having it back. Not too soon at all.

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I totally agree, photo fox and saber5055. Gwen's reaction was insulting. The other coaches, Adam and Pharrell in particular, seemed to be giving her "tone it down" looks that went right over her head. Also, did anyone else think the other three coaches' over-the-top reaction to Gwen's return was a not-so-subtle jab at Christina? Maybe I'm over-thinking it because I love Christina and I think Gwen is a terrible coach.

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I have two really mean thoughts about Jordan's audition (or I should say about the judges). They're kind of sticking in my head so I'm posting to see if y'all think I'm crazy:

 

1) Is it just me or were none of the judges actually all that interested in having Jordan on their team once they saw him? They spent a lot of time praising him but I don't remember any of them saying why they would be good mentors for him, which is a huge part of their normal push ...

 

2) Are Adam and Gwen going to be surprised to find out he's not gay? From the way they kept talking about "courage", I didn't think it was just about the sound of his voice or that he was a bit heavy. 

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I have two really mean thoughts about Jordan's audition (or I should say about the judges). They're kind of sticking in my head so I'm posting to see if y'all think I'm crazy:

 

1) Is it just me or were none of the judges actually all that interested in having Jordan on their team once they saw him? They spent a lot of time praising him but I don't remember any of them saying why they would be good mentors for him, which is a huge part of their normal push ...

 

2) Are Adam and Gwen going to be surprised to find out he's not gay? From the way they kept talking about "courage", I didn't think it was just about the sound of his voice or that he was a bit heavy. 

It's not just you.  I thought Adam looked especially uninterested.  

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I can't say I feel all that enthusiastic about any of the performances from this episode.  It may have just been the weakest bunch I can remember from any Voice season premier.  I guess I was probably most intrigued by Jordan and girl with braces because their voices came as such a surprise.  But I would be equally surprised if either one comes even close to the final rounds. 

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Is it just me or were none of the judges actually all that interested in having Jordan on their team once they saw him?

 

 

All I could think was, Jordan is so OUT in his first battle round. You know, when singers are judged on their appearance. I can just look at most battle couples and know which is going home based on appearance. All the judges were more about "Jordan, you are such a strong person, American needs you" than "I need you on my team." I can't even remember who did end up with him.

 

I didn't think Jordan sounded like a woman at all, and I was looking away so as to just hear him. Someone could say Adam's falsetto is also pretty feminine. So what?

Edited by saber5055
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The guy who opened the show, Mark, got four chair turns and I thought he was terrible. He made me aware of a phenomena I wish I didn't know about - people who sound auto-tuned even when singing live. He had a weird mechanical ring to the way he pronounced many words. I assume he got that from listening to a lot of records with auto-tuned singers. Well, wherever it came from, I found it pretentious and annoying.

 

Four chairs doesn't mean what it used to. Same for three chair turns. Or two. Is the talent pool for this show drying up? The level seems way down so far. None of the real pros that this show has presented in seasons past.

 

I dig that Sianha got turned onto music by Ray Charles, and that she probably listens to lots of cool stuff that typical 15 year old girls don't. But I wish she'd waited a couple of years, because her voice needs to mature for that kind of music. And then we wouldn't have the creepiness factor of a little 15 year old in braces singing a sexy song like "Fever." I think the challenge will be finding the right material for her. Probably good she's not on Blake's team, because I think he's always been a bit weird with the young female contestants.

 

Re: Jordan - "the most important person to ever be on this show." Wow. Define "important." They have had other slightly overweight, plain looking young men on the show before, so is it safe to assume the judges think he's gay? And are trying to make some kind of anti-gay bullying statement? Of course, by assuming that he's gay they're only reinforcing the kind of stereotyping they say they're against.

Edited by bluepiano
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They really needed to shorten the length of the intro packages for each singer.  As they started introducing the first guy, I went to the kitchen, fixed myself a snack and when I came back, they were still introducing he and he wasn't singing yet.  

 

As for the singers so far: meh.  The standout for me was Sianha.  I was listening to snippets of covers she posted on Instagram and she's quite good, her voice is better than what she did.   But imo she doesn't have much of a chance to win on Pharrell's team, especially given that a young protege won with Pharrell's team.  Dang it.

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Siahna is amazing! Also, really, really young. It's impressive that she's already found her calling by listening to Ray Charles records, but the incredible control, depth, and maturity she delivers onstage is immediately questioned the second she calls Pharrell "Grandmaster Skater P"

 

I think she called him "lil Skateboard P".  It's a lyric from a Snoop/Pharrell song 'Drop it like it's hot'.  Thought it was cute.  And very 15 of her.....  But as soon as she said it, I knew she was picking Pharrell.

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The guy who opened the show, Mark, got four chair turns and I thought he was terrible. He made me aware of a .

 

 

Re: Jordan - "the most important person to ever be on this show." Wow. Define "important." They have had other slightly overweight, plain looking young men on the show before, so is it safe to assume the judges think he's gay? And are trying to make some kind of anti-gay bullying statement? Of course, by assuming that he's gay they're only reinforcing the kind of stereotyping they say they're against.

Seriously. Maybe it would be even more awesome, Gwen, if instead of losing your mind that someone overweight and nerdy-looking (or whom you also have decided is gay), you just concentrated on, you know, his voice.

 

I also hate when she says, "I know I'm just a girl...." Ugh.   She's at a genuine disadvantage in building a team, imo, but I don't think it helps at all when she gets to the "girly girl" pitch, bonding over what she can do for them fashion-wise, or playing the ... what? sympathy card? humblebrag? over all that "I'm a girl" stuff.  I'm sure I'll get back to liking her as a coach eventually, but she was pretty annoying at times last night.

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They really needed to shorten the length of the intro packages for each singer.  As they started introducing the first guy, I went to the kitchen, fixed myself a snack and when I came back, they were still introducing he and he wasn't singing yet.

 

 

Although on the plus side, one can use this time to turn the channel and, therefore, watch two shows at once. (*coughdwtscough*)

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Re: Jordan - "the most important person to ever be on this show." Wow. Define "important." They have had other slightly overweight, plain looking young men on the show before, so is it safe to assume the judges think he's gay? And are trying to make some kind of anti-gay bullying statement? Of course, by assuming that he's gay they're only reinforcing the kind of stereotyping they say they're against.

I was kind of wondering that too, or maybe even that they thought he might be a FtM trans person.

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I can't imagine that hyperbole was because they thought he was gay, because they've had several openly gay contestants over the years with no reaction.

I agree totally with the opinion upthread that regardless of the verbal tongue bath, once they turned none of them fought to get him at all. And I'm not sure I blame them. The reality is that an attractive artist is an easier sell, on the show and out in the industry.

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I am already way tired of reading (not here) about newly-single Blake and Gwen getting together, and we should watch for signs of chemistry between them, or clues that they had the sex.

Pretty sure the blinds were taped near the end of last season, when they were still married.

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I don't think 15 year old girls (or boys) are allowed to refer to themselves as "old souls".  It's bad enough when somebody else gratuitously applies that tag to a child, but its definitely not something you should say about yourself. 

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Seriously. Maybe it would be even more awesome, Gwen, if instead of losing your mind that someone overweight and nerdy-looking (or whom you also have decided is gay), you just concentrated on, you know, his voice.

 

I also hate when she says, "I know I'm just a girl...." Ugh.   She's at a genuine disadvantage in building a team, imo, but I don't think it helps at all when she gets to the "girly girl" pitch, bonding over what she can do for them fashion-wise, or playing the ... what? sympathy card? humblebrag? over all that "I'm a girl" stuff.  I'm sure I'll get back to liking her as a coach eventually, but she was pretty annoying at times last night.

I think she says I'm just a girl to reference her big hit "I'm just a girl" with No Doubt to remind the contestants that she is a legit commercial artist. A cutesy little play on words. 

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Yes, I know that's her song (didn't she lead the audience in a chorus of it last year? Maybe I'm misremembering.) But I think they all know who she is and it's, as you say, cutesy which along with the fashion thing and the running up to hug someone she thinks is a loser...are all really annoying to me.  It really bugged--and seemed very fake--how OTT she was with Jordan (and ITA that when they saw him no one was all that interested any more. Not that I could really blame them although I enjoyed his singing. His styling was kind of odd, even for a nerdy heavy guy, considering what he was there for. A cotton plaid shirt and a cardigan? Really? Even a suit and tie might have been better way to stand out if he didn't want to compete in the "casual attire" area).

 

Not that Gwen doesn't come across as a likable person, even has some good moments as a coach (better than judging by far, imo). But she just seems so shallow in the way she presents herself--and in her musical knowledge seems shallow too--that as a judge she really annoys me.

 

I thought Sianha was talented and cute, but will be a lot better in a year or two. Given what she said about her musical taste, I imagine she knows many good soul/R&B/jazz-type songs. I can't imagine why anyone would advise her to sing "Fever" as a 15 year old auditioning. A difficult song, not a good choice for her and I didn't think she sang it very well, either.

 

I know there's a lot of editing going on at this point, but nice that Pharrell is doing well and no one (inc. Usher) seems to suffer from the problem CeeLo had in getting people on his team.

Edited by Padma
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I know there's a lot of editing going on at this point, but nice that Pharrell is doing well and no one (inc. Usher) seems to suffer from the problem CeeLo had in getting people on his team.

Didn't Gwen have a pattern last time that she could only get a few harder rockers or specific fans of hers on her team? I mean short of the solo turns or end of the picking process people.

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I think she called him "lil Skateboard P".  It's a lyric from a Snoop/Pharrell song 'Drop it like it's hot'.  Thought it was cute.  And very 15 of her.....  But as soon as she said it, I knew she was picking Pharrell.

Skateboard P was his nickname when he was a kid

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I was kind of wondering that too, or maybe even that they thought he might be a FtM trans person.

 

That is exactly what I thought.  When I heard him sing, I thought right away it was a guy.  (Especially because they teased it as a shocking thing and the Voice absolutely does not know how to keep a secret!) Then when the first judge turned and we could see him I thought- oh- maybe the twist is its a girl that looks kind of boyish.  Then the name Jordan didn't help me at all.  But Pharrell gave Jordan the chance to share his "story" and he didn't say he was gay or transitioning.

 

So maybe Jordan is the most important person ever to be on the show because he has a good voice, average looks and no cause?  Just a voice- which was the premise of the show to begin with!

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I agree totally with the opinion upthread that regardless of the verbal tongue bath, once they turned none of them fought to get him at all. And I'm not sure I blame them. The reality is that an attractive artist is an easier sell, on the show and out in the industry.

 

Are the judges primarily focused on eventual career success or on winning the show? If it's the latter, choosing an underdog who's popular with viewers should be a plus.

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