S02.E05: Episode 5

[Andromeda]

Megan was totally wrong about the "crab cannibalism." If you watch closely, you see the little crab skitter further back under the rock after the big red one landed on top of it. The big one is shown with some pincher from some creature, but it's far too big to be the tiny crab's anyway.

 

Megan is just an idiot, I can't wait to see her leave.

[backformore]

The worst thing about Megan's "I'm dumb" schtick is she's recycling directly from dumb shit she did last season on The Bachelor! That whole Old Mexico/New Mexico, mispronouncing Spanish words, saying "Aloha, Mexico!" thing is directly culled from her Chris Soules season. So not only is she dumb (or at least very willing to play dumb), she thinks it's CUTE to rehash it, like a toddler who gets a laugh for doing something silly, then repeats it over and over expecting the same reaction.

Right!  She's wandering around "on her own"  asking people questions, and she can't find the place she's going to?   Asking random people if they canhelp her find Chris Harrison.   Hey, Megan!  here's an idea -   ASK THE CAMERA OPERATOR  who's following you around getting footage of you being stupid!

[DeLurker]

Speaking of a lack of intelligence, along comes Megan.  Ashley S has more or less perfected the head-in-the-clouds act but is actually quite intelligent, especially emotionally, and knows when to turn the act on and off as she has with Dan (she also looked Bailey Quarters-hot in her glasses.  Wow.).  Megan, on the other hand, is plain old ignorant.  Her volume of speech and giggling are defense mechanisms - along with a formidable pair of assets - and she's obviously received reinforcement from the producers and the wider world to carry on the act lest people discover what a dull, dim bulb she is.

That (the bolded) is so true.

 

I got the impression that as soon as his child was born, JJ quit working so that he wouldn't have to pay child support.

The court can assign a wage to you based on your education and/or past earnings history.  The amount of child support and/or alimony will be calculated off of that.  At least that is true in CA.  They don't make it that easy to ditch your custodial support.  My ex tried that (I was the one paying spousal support and with primary care of the kids) and it really did not sit well with the judge. 

 

Joe seems to have a high DB Quotient, but I'd recommend any guy run for the hills if Juelia showed any interest in them.  She's looking for a replacement Daddy and hubby after the first date.  As a single Mom, I'm way more discerning about who I even consider dating because of my kids.  Looking for love on a reality show is the last place I would look.

[Andromeda]

Right!  She's wandering around "on her own"  asking people questions, and she can't find the place she's going to?   Asking random people if they canhelp her find Chris Harrison.   Hey, Megan!  here's an idea -   ASK THE CAMERA OPERATOR  who's following you around getting footage of you being stupid!

YES. That segment made us groan in my household. Seemed far too produced. I get that she had airline trouble and her luggage was delayed -- that's happened plenty to me. But we all know she's NOT ALONE while standing there in the street with a cameraman filming her every move!

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

Juelia Me Once, Shame On You / The dummies on Bachelor In Paradise continue to weave tangled webs of intrigue. Also: sex in a pool, sombreros, crab cannibalism.

[wovenloaf]

The court can assign a wage to you based on your education and/or past earnings history.  The amount of child support and/or alimony will be calculated off of that.  At least that is true in CA.  They don't make it that easy to ditch your custodial support.  My ex tried that (I was the one paying spousal support and with primary care of the kids) and it really did not sit well with the judge. 

Ditto in PA. He'd be an idiot if he quit his investment banker job to avoid paying child support. He'd only end up on the hook for an investment banker-level obligation out of an unemployed-in-Mom's-attic amount of $. When did he ever say that was his reason? I was under the impression the reason he gave was just to spend more time with the kid. Not sure how being unemployed for 3 years helps your daughter, but at least they can have a lot of quality time!

[Cecily]

Why anyone' defending Joe, I don't know. It's not that he played Juelia, it's that he played her while mindfucking both her and his "friend" Jonathan, talked trash about her behind her back, insisted that he was into her when she questioned him, totally ignored her the next day and then acted like a selfrightous kid when confronted, blaming her and everone around her for having the nerve to even suggest he used her.

Samantha is pretty, but her piercing eyes and alien features scare me. I feel like I'm watching an episode of "V" - the 80s version. And her constant sexy laugh is really annoying.

I'm curious what scared Dan off. The whole thing was described both as "Ashley S showed her crazy" and as "Ashley got a little emotional." I'm thinking Dan is either the kind of guy who's single because he lives in a dream world where he thinks he can have a "drama free relationship" (drama = emotions), or we don't get to see the crazy because Ashley S is a producer favorite who's getting a good edit. Probably the latter, as Dan didn't seem to mind Juelia getting emotional.

I actually think Megan is a hoot.

[deSchenke]

Actually, we're entering the point in Hurricane season where storms tend to form in the Carribean and hit the gulf, so no,  it's not too late at all.

Too bad this is filmed near Puerto Vallarta, on the Pacific Ocean.

I agree with this that the theme of the show this week was the guy realizing that they're not that into the girl and doing a 180 on them . Even though Kirk got a pass tonight , I sense it coming in the upcoming weeks . And I think it's crazy how Carly could miss her brothers wedding for this . I would kill my sister if she ever missed my wedding to be on reality TV

Don't forget that Carly's brother, Zac, was on a season of The Bachelorette himself.  He may have been fine with her staying on with the show.  Perhaps even encouraged her to do it.  He went pretty far in Des' season.

 

I think Juelia should be upset by how she didn't believe Mikey and Jonathan and be feeling badly about their departure.  They were looking out for her, but she ignored their warnings and rebuked them.  For her to pine away over Joe and demand an explanation from him is just plain stupid after a "romance" that lasted all of a few days.

 

Get a spine, Juelia.

[PhysNerd]

Everyone on this show acts like they are in middle school except Ashley S.  The "crazy" girl is the only one who has shown maturity.  Juelia is 30 going on 15.  This is ridiculous.  I know it's tough being a single mom, but her child comes first. My mother didn't even bothering dating anyone until 10 years after my father left. She focused on being a mom and working.  It seems Juelia had a child before she grew up herself.  I can't even feel sympathy for Juelia.  She was warned by two men about Joe and Joe's body language very clearly showed he wasn't into her.  Yes, he's a sociopathic jerk, but the world is filledi with those.  As a grown woman, it is Juelia's responsibility to use common sense and look out for herself.  Her judgment in men is remarkably terrible for a woman her age (no, 30 isn't old, but a 30 year old should be able to read body language better than a teenager). 

[pitchy]

I'm with Cecily.  It's not that he was using Juelia for a rose (they all do that with the ones they care less about) but it was his messing with her mind by insisting he was into her, messing even more with Jonathan's surprising ability to be human instead of in BIP mode only, and then when Joe  gets Samantha, he doesn't  (in front of all their friends) say ONE word to Juelia and doesn't look at her.

 The others do talk with their rejected temporary 'partners' . He treated her as if she was not even human, in effect, worse than you would a dog.  And, worse, lies directly to her, when he knows people there know that he is lying.  He has respect for no one.

 

  But the key thing for me is that this show, vs Bachelor Pad, is more about the dynamics of group relationships in an unnatural but natural :-) setting.

 

  Unlike The Bachelor(ette) shows, these people actually spend time having fun together in co-ed fashion, talk with one another, with the camera not showing most of it, and make group alignments the way people do in school (when they have no reponsibilities except to do what you're told).  They mix it up too, but form actual friendships.

  

 So they wind up in subgroups (some able to flow between them) where most of them Care about the other people to some extent and, as little grouplets, they watch out for their own and are very protective.

  Something in between junior-high dynamics and those of the warring gangs in Chicago.

 

 Again, it's not about changing partners (normal) but how you handle that and how most don't like it when Joe callously humiliates the one who brung him to the waterfalls and rose, w/o a second or third thought and, most of all, shows he doesn't care at all about others' feelings. He treats her as less than human.

 

  As for Juelia, she needs to get some basic help.  Easily deluded and self-deluding, very out of touch.

 

  Most of these people have modeled or auditioned for acting parts in the past (including Jared) -- they're there mainly hoping someone in the biz will 'discover' them.  It's easier for them to act the roles assigned.  

[Mabinogia]

Juelia lost me when she kept talking about how she wondered why Joe had picked her for the date. Because you're the only one who raised their hand. Duh! That's when I knew she was writing her own love story in her head and reality be damned. So as much as Joe sucks as a human being, Juelia pretty much did this to herself. People warned her, Joe barely showed interest in asking her out but she went full speed ahead not caring about all the many warning signs. I also cannot respect someone who leaves their child behind to be on this shitshow of an orgy.

 

But I still want Joe to suffer. I can't stand him.

Edited August 17, 2015 by Mabinogia

[backformore]

Don't forget that Carly's brother, Zac, was on a season of The Bachelorette himself.  He may have been fine with her staying on with the show.  Perhaps even encouraged her to do it.  He went pretty far in Des' season.

 

True - and There is another side to it - not knowing the circumstance - the wedding was in another country -   I assume either the bride or groom had family in Ireland?  I've known couples who have two sets of family members in different countries, or just opposite sides of the country.  They have basically two "weddings" -  and family members attend the one that is most convenient to them.  

Of course the first one is the legal, official wedding, and the second is a reception, but the reason for doing it twice is that people will attend one or the other. 

Having a wedding in another country and expecting all of your family to be there is a bit nervy, to me.   I've had siblings get married.  Generally it involves a car ride on a weekend, not air travel to Europe.  If a family member of mine decided to get married overseas, I might miss it, depending on the circumstances.  

[seacliffsal]

I think that some of the participants are focusing on the 'horribleness' of Joe in order to make themselves feel better about doing thee exact same thing. It also deflects criticism of their actions onto someone else who they deem to be worse. Tenley, Clare, Jared, Dan, and even Juelia all accepted a rose from someone from whom they later distanced themselves. But, by focusing on Joe they can feel morally superior. Yes, Joe could certainly have handled it better. However, Juelia kept revisiting her victimhood which would make me just want to avoid her and to stop having to deal with her refusal to accept that there wasn't a strong enough connection.

At one point someone said that all Juelia wanted was to come and find a husband and a father for her child. My eyes rolled so hard. That's exactly why she shouldn't be there. I just wonder if she took Jonathan aside and compassionately explained to him that although they had a connection, she felt a stronger one with Joe.

[atlanticslide]

The great irony of the Joe-Samantha collusion: Juelia [sic] was told in advance who was coming. Remember when she showed her daughter the guys' headshots? Unless she printed out every headshot ever, there's no way she would have expected Dan and Kirk to be there.

I thought she said something like "these are some of the guys who might be there," and assumed she was going through photos of guys from recent bachelorette seasons.

[PamelaMaeSnap]

Kirk sees himself becoming whipped in real time but has apparently gladly accepted his fate.  However, the Ep 1 teaser reel shows Carly in floods of tears so maybe it's the usual red-herring setup.

 

That, combined with the fact that in the first episode when Ju-ELL-ia was showing her daughter all the pictures of the guys who were going to be there and letting her daughter choose one, she chose ... KIRK.

 

Dum dum dum ...

[Padma]

Joe's one of those guys who could look cute based on his personality. Unfortunately, we've seen his personality and it's only feeding the fugly. His cold unfeeling stare as he calculates what he needs to say to get what he wants is beyond creepy. Ew. I am praying Samantha dumps him because she finds someone (anyone!) else.

 

Juelia? That phone call was awful. (Then again, I can't stand when parents talk about themselves in third person.)  I really wonder, given the way this show is, if they actually just dubbed in the child's part. It wouldn't surprise me if the three year old actually went off-script and was very sad about the whole thing.

 

As for Megan, I think it's a beautiful marriage of someone who is -genuinely- dumb being also made to -look- dumb by the show. I mean, obviously she'd found "the show" because she had the BiP cameraman with her. I don't doubt there was a producer, too, and that they told her, "Pretend you're looking for Chris in Mexico! It will be funny!"   I think the "sobrero", the "Aloha, Mexico!" and the generally stupid way she conducts herself are genuine, though.  Didn't Ashley I say Megan is one of her closest friends? Can you imagine being with them for 2 hours of their conversation? Yikes.

 

I had assumed that with Bachelor Nation parties and hookups and the rumor mill that most if not all of these people would have an idea who else was coming (TPTB might even tell them in order to lure them in, or time arrivals to hype the drama).  But Joe was a creep for (among other things) the whole, "I'm just a shy boy who ain't never kissed no lady before!" and "I've never felt this way about a girl before" schtick. That wasn't necessary. She was choosing him anyway.

Edited August 18, 2015 by Padma

[TheFinalRose]

I follow Dana Weiss aka Possessionista and during the broadcast commercial breaks she does some periscopes

 

 

I have no idea what this sentence means.  Are periscopes some kind of new "thing" that you have to be under 25 to have heard of? And what, pray tell, is a Possesionista? Is it akin to a Pantsepreneur?

[OldWiseOne]

I just wonder if she [Juelia] took Jonathan aside and compassionately explained to him that although they had a connection, she felt a stronger one with Joe.

Exactly! Shut up Julia. What was the point of the second round of grilling when Dan went to get Joe so he could be confronted by Julia, Jade and Dan? You already know he's a douchebag, if you have half a brain cell left you are no longer interested in dating him, what kind of answers did she think she was going to get from Joe at that point that were somehow going to make her feel better? I'd have a tiny bit of compassion for her, except for the fact that she didn't seem to feel bad for Jonathon at all and was only concerned with what happened to her. And on and on about how Joe said he liked to move slow but then was holding Samantha's hand!! That bastard! Holding Samantha's hand in front of people of all things!

 

On the plus side we weren't subjected to any of Kardashley I's hysterical crying this ep, although I would have liked to smack her upside the head with Joe's brass knuckles when she was so gleeful about Claire becoming unhinged. Taking pleasure in other people's anguish makes you no better than Joe in my books.

[Zung Li]

So...Samantha. You went from being 'That One with Dark Hair Who Never Spoke' on Chris' season to 'That One With Dark Hair Who Jerked Off the Douchebag From Kentucky'. Good job..? 

[nexxie]

So...Samantha. You went from being 'That One with Dark Hair Who Never Spoke' on Chris' season to 'That One With Dark Hair Who Jerked Off the Douchebag From Kentucky'. Good job..?

Maybe that's her way of being noticed this time. lol

[Ms Blue Jay]

Samantha's constant, inane, laughing over nothing is the absolute worst.

 

Joe looks disgusting, and acts disgusting, and is disgusting.   These women are nutso!

 

Carly is getting kind of scary.  I think Kirk was pretty stupid to act SUPER attached to this woman to only try and back out now, but no matter what kind of signals he was giving out, Carly was just wide-eyed, laughing, and taking every single thing as a green light.  It's like when Clare tried to reject Mike.

 

Passive aggressiveness doesn't work with the delusional.   You have to be really firm and just say no.  Unfortunately this show is a pack of assholes who doesn't want to do that in fear of missing out on The Rose.

 

I had never seen Aloha, Mexico! before so that was really entertaining.  Meghan is a beautiful girl so that brain is really unfortunate.

Edited August 18, 2015 by Ms Blue Jay

[piewarmer]

I liked seeing a few shots of some of the women without their hair and makeup done, looking like normals. Also the bit where (I think it was) Ashley I gushing about how good Jeuyooliha's boobs looked in the yellow bikini top. Amidst the DRAAAMA , it's nice to see a bit of female camaraderie.

[Pixel]

it's just a bonus that he gets to do it with one of the hottest women ever to appear on the franchise.

I know this is such a cliche and inevitably someone always says this in a thread, but I just don't see it. Samantha is very odd and alien looking to me. I find her to be more witchy looking than pretty, and definitely not beautiful.

[Padma]

I remember some posts about Samantha being so beautiful and unnoticed on Chris' season, so I remembered her from his RCs as standing out as exceptionally pretty but dull.  Now, I have to agree with those who aren't seeing it. She is probably very pretty but it's not in a way that really draws you in and makes you want to see more of her. Plus, she still seems to have no personality which--combined with facially vacant Joe--makes them a very creepy couple. 

[ramble]

The handjob in the hot tub soured this episode for be. After the "keep doing that" comment I was expecting to hear "faster, faster" or "oh yeah, just like that." The hot tub needing bleaching & so did my brain.

Megan's lack of brain cells hurt my brain. JJ saying they weren't on the same intellectual level & then making a comment about her pretty eyes & other assets, as the camera zoomed in on her boobs, made me laugh.

The fact that Joe is a creep has been covered. I'm more surprised that Sam was trying to get her villain on. However, if she was going to instruct Joe the Jerk about how to lie & coordinate their stories she should've checked the camera placement better or given him instructions beforehand. And saying hand while discussing Joe & Sam means I need more brain bleach.

Tanner seems to love stirring up drama & sitting back to watch it unfold. Jade then joins in with catty comments. I really don't like them, but think they may deserve each other.

I can't help it I like Carly. I'm not even sure why. She seems somehow low key, but I think this show sets a low bar for low key & I could be completely confused. I did enjoy seeing her so happy on her discount fantasy suite date.

ETA: I can't recall now if it was on this episode or Monday's, but did anyone catch what Joe said that was bleeped out? Something about loving doing "bleep" while you do it but regretting it afterwards. I don't know if I missed something before or after it, but I felt as though I lacked context to figure out what he was talking about.

Edited August 18, 2015 by ramble

[Bugs Meany]

True - and There is another side to it - not knowing the circumstance - the wedding was in another country -   I assume either the bride or groom had family in Ireland?  I've known couples who have two sets of family members in different countries, or just opposite sides of the country.  They have basically two "weddings" -  and family members attend the one that is most convenient to them.... Having a wedding in another country and expecting all of your family to be there is a bit nervy, to me.

 

But the Ireland wedding was attended by Ben Scott, whom Zak knew from Desiree's season. (His son came out of the limo on episode 1.) He's not family, not from Ireland, and still went. Carly has no excuse: she skipped her brother's wedding to be on TV.

[FamilyVan]

I was under the impression the reason he gave was just to spend more time with the kid. Not sure how being unemployed for 3 years helps your daughter, but at least they can have a lot of quality time!

 

 

That's kind of the impression I got too - I thought he left his job so he could be a stay at home dad.  We don't really know his custody arrangement but if he has physical placement it makes sense.  

 

So...Samantha. You went from being 'That One with Dark Hair Who Never Spoke' on Chris' season to 'That One With Dark Hair Who Jerked Off the Douchebag From Kentucky'. Good job..?

 

 

Ughhhh skeeve.  When are the people going to learn there are cameras everywhere?  You can't game the game people!!

[JenE4]

'Bye, Felicia': a quote from the film 'Friday' starring Ice Cube & Chris Tucker featuring a mundane-turned-eventful, er, Friday in an LA neighborhood full of comedic characters. Felicia is the burnout sister of Ice Cube's girlfriend who appears several times begging for drugs, money and even the use of a car.

Ice Cube's patience with her ran out long ago so his response is a curt 'Bye, Felicia.' Not exactly the stuff of Hollywood screenplay legend but it's become a catchphrase nonetheless.

I saw "Straight Outta Compton" and they had a scene which I presume was the origin of "Bye, Felicia"--or they just put it in as an inside joke. But I was all excited that, thanks to you and the BIP forum, I got it.

[lightbeam]

Regarding JJ's job at an Investment Bank - it would not shock me if he got fired or was laid off. I work at an Investment Bank, and at his age he would be an Analyst or Associate. They work long hard hours (constant 18 hour days) and there is very little room for laziness. Those that can't hack it get the boot and there is a lot of turnover. It's the culture of banking and JJ strikes me as a lazy shithead. I don't know if he was fired, of course, but it wouldn't shock me.

In any event, I kinda laughed when Megan chose JJ. She had just finished saying that she had been cheated on and lied to in every relationship and wanted to find someone who will treat her well. So what does she do? She chooses JJ over Dan?! JJ who has admitted to cheating on his ex-wife?! It's always makes me sad when women choose exactly what they say they don't want. I see it time and time again. It's like they're energetically drawn to the very people who will forever treat them badly.

[Bugs Meany]

In any event, I kinda laughed when Megan chose JJ. She had just finished saying that she had been cheated on and lied to in every relationship and wanted to find someone who will treat her well. So what does she do? She chooses JJ over Dan?! JJ who has admitted to cheating on his ex-wife?! It's always makes me sad when women choose exactly what they say they don't want. I see it time and time again. It's like they're energetically drawn to the very people who will forever treat them badly.

To be fair, it's possible JJ's cheating admission hadn't aired when Megan left for the show. She could have chosen him because he wasn't coupled up, which is the problem with this show. New arrivals usually have to settle for the one or two free agents.

[ByTor]

I'm a week behind, so I just got around to watching this last night. If I took a shot every time Juelia said the word "disrespected" I'd still be hammered. I do not disagree that Joe disrespected her, and if he really is as he is portrayed with the flat affect and dead eyes, I'd be downright afraid of him. But seriously, her telling him things like "I have never felt so disrespected"..."You are treating me like I don't exist"..."You said we had a connection" over & over again, made it look less like her anger was justified and more like she is having a jealous hissy fit IMO. She should have done an Ashley S: "You are literally not the man I thought you were" and left it at that.