S05.E22: Reunion Part 3

[Sincerely Yours]

Once it was revealed Bravo had apparently a great deal of footage of Kim inebriated and obnoxious during season 1, I think a lot of what the viewers might have deemed as unjustifiable "rudeness" towards Kim was actually exasperation with how Kim was behaving, knowing Bravo could choose to use any and/or all of that footage at their discretion and that it was a nightmare waiting to happen.

 

I don't blame her.  I'd have been short-tempered and mortified at my sibling, who had been given an opportunity such as this was, behaving in such a manner.

 

Maybe, but I don't think so.

 

I don't think Kim would have hesitated to say so, if that were the case.  "She was told to NOT go into my room, and she did it anyway!" wouldn't be a particularly offensive statement for her to have made under such circumstances.

 

I don't think there's ANY justification for that dog biting Alexia, which is why we were never given one.  Otherwise Kim would have been screeching it from the rooftops for all to hear and pointing that Bony Finger of Judgment as well.

 

 

Sincerely Yours, I don't get how Kyle releasing her demons and being callous is somehow wrong, but Kim is perfectly excused for how she releases hers and how she treats Kyle.  Is it just because Kim has a drug problem?  Because it's visible to the eye and it's a tangible issue?

 

I don't get how this is somehow Kyle's fault that Kim is an addict, which was never a secret.  It's not a secret when everyone knows about it.  It's just dysfunction that no one has verbalized.  

 

I also don't get how Kim is Kyle's "addict" as in "her addict".  Kim is Kyle's sister.  Kim is an addict.  Kyle has nothing to do with that nor is she responsible in any way, shape, or form for Kim's life.  Kim is no more Kyle's than Kyle is Kim's responsibility.  

 

There can never be a basic sister relationship when one of them is an addict, or even just a plain ole Narcissist.  Never.  I don't know if there's even such a thing as a basic sister relationship.  Neither my sister or I are addicts or Narcissists and we do not have a good relationship.  

 

Kim is not horrible because she's an addict.  She's horrible because she treats others horribly.  She takes no responsibility for her actions and blames others.  She's mean-hearted and does not treat her children well because she chooses booze and pills over them.  That's why.  Not because she's an addict, in general.  

Who said Kim was excused? If I scream yell call my mother names and treat her horrendoulsly because I haven't figured out how to deal with it in a healthy manner even tho I'm a grown ass woman am I excused? Do I have an acceptable reason to behave and berate her or will I be taken to task for blaming MY circumstances, situations, emotional vulnerability? Kim can't blame others or anything but herself but Kyle can use Kim's addiction as a reason for not being healthy in how she deals and interacts with Kim? That's the imbalance that I can't get on board with. They both aren't handling issues very well or in a healthy manner but because Kim's the addict Kyle's faltering is nothing more than circumstances to be pitied. 

 

Kyle is a grown ass woman that also has access to official help and support. To garner knowledge and information to help her be a more productive participant in her very own situation and she chooses to cower in the corner, run away from dinner tables and frog cry about what she goes through. Kim makes no effort? Kim doesn't utilize the help she has at her disposal? Well it seems to me that neither does Kyle. I feel for both of them but if one is guilty of sitting ideally by while bad decisions rule and ruin their lives and the lives of those around them well then hell. I'm spreading that responsibility around. Kim is allowing herself to be a victim of the disease well Kyle is allowing herself to be a victim to Kim's disease as well and if Kyle who isn't physically suffering from it can't get a handle of it.. Well damn, being the one physically dependent on it AS WELL AS emotionally bruised by it? It probably isn't a walk in the park for them either.

Edited April 17, 2015 by Sincerely Yours

[Cheetosandchoc]

I would bet she was already drunk

I bet she is pretty much always drunk.

[MatildaMoody]

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

[Sincerely Yours]

 

 

        Kim has been protected from consequences her entire life. Treatment for her is some beautiful place in the Caribbean or Palm Springs. She will go, she will have a cathartic moment where she realizes she has to take care of HERSELF. She has to put HERSELF first. She will feel so sorry for herself because all she does is take care of others. She nursed her poor ex while he lay dying. There will be more tears, lots of hugs. Promises to fellow patients of a life long friendship. gag

 

 

Protected from consequences all her life? Huge assumption and just because a family decides they aren't going to speak freely about something doesn't mean Kim was consequence free. Also, maybe she was spared consequences from the outside but that doesn't mean that she wasn't taken to task from within the family. Something tells me that that family wasn't all about stroking Kim's hair letting her know that everything was going to be okay and that they will take care of everything. Not being open about family business isn't the same as some JFK level cover up. Nah, not buying it. I'm more inclined that Kim suffered consequences alright and some of those consequences has manifested into the sad sad debacle we see between the Richards sisters on Bravo. Just saying.

[Rahul]

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

 

Hahaha. Muppet babbies!

[CaliforniaLove]

 

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

Thank you for posting this! I died. #notabeast

[SwordQueen]

Who said Kim was excused? If I scream yell call my mother names and treat her horrendoulsly because I haven't figured out how to deal with it in a healthy manner even tho I'm a grown as woman am I excused? Do I have an acceptable reason to behave and berate her or will I be taken to task for blaming circumstances, situations, emotional vulnerability? Kim can't blame others or anything but herself but Kyle can use Kim's addiction as a reason for not being healthy in how she deals and interacts with Kim? That's the imbalance that I can't get on board with. They both aren't handling issues very well or in a healthy manner but because Kim's the addict Kyle's faltering is nothing more than circumstances to be pitied. 

 

Kyle is a grown as woman that also has access to official help and support. To garner knowledge and information to help her be a more productive participant in her very own situation and she chooses to cower in the corner, run away from dinner tables and frog cry about what she goes through. Kim makes no effort? Kim doesn't utilize the help she has at her disposal? Well it seems to me that neither does Kyle. I feel for both of them but if one is guilty of sitting ideally by while bad decisions rule and ruin their lives and the lives of those around them well then hell. I'm spreading that responsibility around. Kim is allowing herself to be a victim of the disease well Kyle is allowing herself to be a victim to Kim's disease as well and if Kyle who isn't physically suffering from it can't get a handle of it.. Well damn, being the one physically dependent on it AS WELL AS emotionally bruised by it? It probably isn't a walk in the park for them either.

 

I think most of us agree that both Kyle and Kim have their own issues to work on that each is responsible for themselves.  Addiction brings a whole 'nother level into that though because addictions do not just affect the addict.  It's a family disease as well as Narcissism.  Being physically dependent on something isn't necessarily always worse or more painful or more serious than someone who is emotionally/mentally dependent.  It's the psychological factor that makes someone so addicted, not just dependence.  But people can be emotionally drawn to dysfunction the same way someone can be drawn to drugs and suffer just as much from it.  

 

There's no point in trying to figure out who is suffering more, here.  They both have issues.  But there's no denying that addiction and Narcissism are very destructive.  And since Kim is the addict and the Narcissist, she needs to be accountable for her own shit.  Kyle, as the codependent, needs to be as well, for her issues and she seems to be taking steps (Al-Anon) in doing so.  We have yet to see Kim even acknowledge her issues, not even the fact that she has any.  It's the Narcissism that is the most toxic aspect here, IMO, because that is harder to treat than addiction and there's no medication, no program to help.  Getting a Narcissist into therapy is very difficult and getting them to be honest and not scam the therapist is even harder.  

 

This is who Kim Richards is -- her fixed personality.  I think Kyle is more able to change and is open to it and her issues are not as severe, but that doesn't mean Kim is the victim.  Not when she victimizes people.  She becomes the abuser the minute she does that.  It's so tricky, this disorder, because from the outside, the Narc is the victim because they are always being "persecuted", "wronged", and "misunderstood".  They can be so subtle in their manipulations that not even the person they are manipulating knows what's happening.  That's why there's such a feeling of vindication from Kim getting busted.  People are not happy so much that Kim was caught as they are relived.  It really is a relief to be validated in the fact that you're not the crazy one when you're in a relationship with a Narcissist.  Such a relief, I can't even describe the feeling properly.  

Edited April 17, 2015 by SwordQueen

[MatildaMoody]

Hahaha. Muppet babbies!

OFF LIMITS! <finger point>

[Stinamaia]

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

j

To quote Pharell Williams, "PER-fection."

Edited April 17, 2015 by Stinamaia

[IKnowRight]

"- Her son Chad was released from UCLA Medical Center hours before the meltdown." So she went out to celebrate instead of staying home with her son?

And the maitre d' wouldn't let her sit with a group, so it's his fault! Not even going to respond to the LVP accusation...

So, her little man in her life, Chad, was released that night and she didn't have the wherewithal to not drink knowing he is a RECOVERING addict of some sort?? What kind of mother reacts to positive news like this?! This is just too sad. I have no other words. He may not be a little boy anymore, but I just can't believe she did this at such a time. One would think the joy of his progress and having him back would make everyone happy.

[Adira]

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

This is probably the funniest thing I've seen in so long!  Thank you!!!

[SwordQueen]

OMG   That photocap changed my life.  

 

Every single time I hear Brandi's frickin voice, all I'm going to hear is "Meep, meep, meep".  LOL 

 

 

 

eta:  I can like things again!  I'm so happy and now I want a Love button.  I like to love things. 

Edited April 17, 2015 by SwordQueen

[MatildaMoody]

OMG   That photocap changed my life.  

 

Every single time I hear Brandi's frickin voice, all I'm going to hear is "Meep, meep, meep".  LOL 

 

 

This was my favorite part:

 

 

“BECAUSE I WEAR SEATBELTS, AND WHEN YOU BUCKLE UP, YOU CAN’T FALL OFF WAGONS!”

 

That was when the actual tears started rolling and my coworkers started asking me if I was ok. 

[SwordQueen]

Poor Kyle just wanted an instant graham cracker.

 

Oh wow, I feel like I want to share this photocap with someone so they can laugh until they snort, too, but no one I know watches this show, so the hilarity would be lost on them.  

[LIMOM]

So, her little man in her life, Chad, was released that night and she didn't have the wherewithal to not drink knowing he is a RECOVERING addict of some sort?? What kind of mother reacts to positive news like this?! This is just too sad. I have no other words. He may not be a little boy anymore, but I just can't believe she did this at such a time. One would think the joy of his progress and having him back would make everyone happy.

Is Chad an addict as well?

I thought he suffered from a mental illness.

I actually believe that Kim is a pill popper and that the alcohol puts her in a belligerent mood.

[bagger]

I would bet she was already drunk

I would bet she's regularly drunk.

[FlyingEgret]

I'm going to nickname this little Eaglet "Kyle"

 

[Lablover27]

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

Fantastic find!  Thank you!!!

[Cheetosandchoc]

Protected from consequences all her life? Huge assumption and just because a family decides they aren't going to speak freely about something doesn't mean Kim was consequence free. Also, maybe she was spared consequences from the outside but that doesn't mean that she wasn't taken to task from within the family. Something tells me that that family wasn't all about stroking Kim's hair letting her know that everything was going to be okay and that they will take care of everything. Not being open about family business isn't the same as some JFK level cover up. Nah, not buying it. I'm more inclined that Kim suffered consequences alright and some of those consequences has manifested into the sad sad debacle we see between the Richards sisters on Bravo. Just saying.

 

        Based on my twenty years of being a sober member of AA (as of this March), And sponsoring more people than I can count, and ten years of volunteering at a treatment center twice a month....I think I am qualified to say people who are as delusional as Kim don't wake up like that one day. Its a process. The problem with people who have money is they get bailed out. I get to talk to the families, and the kids. Did you know most of these people have really great kids? My guess is that they had to take care of mom and siblings their whole life, and they want mom to be proud, or don't want to cause stress. Keeping secrets, These kids don't have friends over because mom is unpredictable. They come home and find mom passed out on the couch, perhaps they wonder if she is alive.. Go to school with clothes that have not been washed because mom forgot to do laundry. They walk on eggshells because they don't know what will set mom off. They cater to her, help her with things they shoulnt have to do as kids. They see things no kid should have to see. They keep it all a secret. They make excuses for her. They keep the dirty secret about their mom. They act like its all ok. Do you really believe Kim can turn her craziness on and off? Is it a choice then? All these things I described are very mild and basic and common. They are the tip of the iceburg. Do you think none of this happened in Kim's house? She only drank when the kids were away from home right?  

         I am sure Kim endured countless lectures of disapproval. She cries, I wont do it again, they bail her out. The thing is families are scared shitless about their loved one. If I don't give them money or bail them out what if they relapse? what if this is the last time? What if something awful happens and they die, thinking I don't love them? It is the hardest thing in the world for a family to cut off a loved one.  Not bail them out of jail, not set them up, or help them out one more time. The guilt is overwhelming. These people doubt every decision they make.

        The fact that Kyle and Alexia were expected to not mention Kingsley biting her is very telling. Why shouldn't she tell people what happened? Why should they cover it up? In fact covering it up is enabeling. What happens if Kingsley completely snaps? If it were my dog I would be horrified. I would be in that picture and apologizing profusely. I would be posting updates about what I was doing to change things. If I were using a trainer, dog safety tips. Wouldn't you?

[MatildaMoody]

Fantastic find!  Thank you!!!

I'm glad you guys enjoyed that. The Recapper that came up with it does a weekly podcast with Ronnie from TrashTalk TV and they always have me in stitches when they talk about the Real Housewives. 

[GreatKazu]

Anyone else besides me immediately think that the "source" for this story was Brandi?

Hmmm hmmm. I already posted yesterday that Brandi was likely the source for the Radar story about Kyle refusing to talk to Kim after her arrest. She mentioned having friends who work in the tabloids. I don't think she has actual friends. I think she calls them up as a "source" to get some easy cash and throw out some nasty publicity. Brandi can put words in her blog (ghostwriter that is) that she wishes nothing but the best between Kyle and Kim, but that doesn't match her behavior this past season. 

 

 

My opinion and my opinion only is that Kim doesn't fall into the unforgivable addict

This is likely why her family continues to enable her. They have not reached that moment where they say, "We're done" because Kim has not committed any offense or committed any act that they feel is unforgivable. With Kyle, I am hoping the Alexia dog attack issue is her breaking point, but I won't hold my breath.

        Based on my twenty years of being a sober member of AA (as of this March), And sponsoring more people than I can count, and ten years of volunteering at a treatment center twice a month....I think I am qualified to say people who are as delusional as Kim don't wake up like that one day. Its a process. The problem with people who have money is they get bailed out. I get to talk to the families, and the kids. Did you know most of these people have really great kids? My guess is that they had to take care of mom and siblings their whole life, and they want mom to be proud, or don't want to cause stress. Keeping secrets, These kids don't have friends over because mom is unpredictable. They come home and find mom passed out on the couch, perhaps they wonder if she is alive.. Go to school with clothes that have not been washed because mom forgot to do laundry. They walk on eggshells because they don't know what will set mom off. They cater to her, help her with things they shoulnt have to do as kids. They see things no kid should have to see. They keep it all a secret. They make excuses for her. They keep the dirty secret about their mom. They act like its all ok. Do you really believe Kim can turn her craziness on and off? Is it a choice then? All these things I described are very mild and basic and common. They are the tip of the iceburg. Do you think none of this happened in Kim's house? She only drank when the kids were away from home right?  

         I am sure Kim endured countless lectures of disapproval. She cries, I wont do it again, they bail her out. The thing is families are scared shitless about their loved one. If I don't give them money or bail them out what if they relapse? what if this is the last time? What if something awful happens and they die, thinking I don't love them? It is the hardest thing in the world for a family to cut off a loved one.  Not bail them out of jail, not set them up, or help them out one more time. The guilt is overwhelming. These people doubt every decision they make.

        The fact that Kyle and Alexia were expected to not mention Kingsley biting her is very telling. Why shouldn't she tell people what happened? Why should they cover it up? In fact covering it up is enabeling. What happens if Kingsley completely snaps? If it were my dog I would be horrified. I would be in that picture and apologizing profusely. I would be posting updates about what I was doing to change things. If I were using a trainer, dog safety tips. Wouldn't you?

Spot on. Great job on the 20 years!

[IKnowRight]

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

Thank you Matilda Moody for posting this for us...I think we all need a break from these negative emotions. Damn, just watching this show stresses me out. Get rid of Kim & Brandi PLEASE and just give us diamond shopping, ladies at brunch, spa days at Adriennes house, vacations to watch & Giggy.

[cooksdelight]

It's in Kim's thread, Tamara Tattles says Brandi is the source for all the gossip yesterday.

[film noire]

My point was, I highly doubt during their very real struggle there are people chastising them as they struggle to get a handle on the disease

 

Yes, there are. Anybody who has been around the disease can tell you horror stories about the shit people say -- being hectored and intruded upon with statements about the cancer being the person's fault (bad habit, negative thinking, too much stress, etc) and needing to eat better, take this supplement or do an obscure treatment -- or visualize better, or do Louise Hay/Bernie Siegal/etc -- cancer patients lose friends, family, are rejected, lectured, blamed and mocked -- and their disease is not an infectious one, like alcoholism is -- so again, using the disease model; cancer patients have had it much worse (imo) than Kim Richards,  handling any snark here at PTV

Edited April 17, 2015 by film noire

[Cheetosandchoc]

Forgot to mention I would bend over backwards to help Kim if she made a sincere attempt to get sober and took responsibility for herself. I would be convinced by her actions and not her words though. Crying won't cut it with me.

[SwordQueen]

Congrats on your 20 years and for being a sober resource for those in need -- must be both difficult and rewarding.

 

       <snip>  I am sure Kim endured countless lectures of disapproval. She cries, I wont do it again, they bail her out. The thing is families are scared shitless about their loved one. If I don't give them money or bail them out what if they relapse? what if this is the last time? What if something awful happens and they die, thinking I don't love them? It is the hardest thing in the world for a family to cut off a loved one.  Not bail them out of jail, not set them up, or help them out one more time. The guilt is overwhelming. These people doubt every decision they make.

  

 

Your post is the reason why I am convinced that had Lisa R and Eileen not been so vocal about Kim's obvious inebriated state and something had happened to her - and accident or even worse - people would be blaming all of them for Kim's injuries or death.  People would crucify Kyle for hiding Kim's so-called secret and for "doing nothing" while Kim killed herself.  I'm convinced of that.  

 

This is why there's no winning when it comes to addiction.  Everyone loses.  For many, there's no way to either be a constant source of support or a source of tough love without getting burned in the process.  I can't fault Kyle for wanting Kim's addictions to be both kept a secret out of protecting Kim and wanting everyone to know about them out of self-preservation.  It really sucks when, not just with addicts, but with abusers, too, it comes down to having to choose them or yourself because you can't save both of you.   

[SwordQueen]

It's in Kim's thread, Tamara Tattles says Brandi is the source for all the gossip yesterday.

 

Wow, she really had us going there.   LOL  

[Lakewood27]

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

 

“Andy, Fozzy is off limits.”

 

From now on I'm going to just end all of my arguments with "space cake".

 

And I'm going to always apologize like this:

 

“I’m human. I make mistakes. I hide cake in my hair.”

[Cherrio]

OMG! THIS wins everything! Seriously, I consider the mic to be dropped after reading this.

This is hilarious!     Props to whoever created it.     This and Nene with her Ramen noodle wig.   I love a great laugh

[film noire]

nexxie and Reo, I wish I could like both your posts! 

 

I think kids of narcissistic parents tend to be very empathetic and that, sometimes to our own detriment--unless you're another narcissist!  We recognize that and we clam up.  

I let my mom abuse me till I was forty-two years old!  Can you believe it?  I always thought, no, she doesn't really mean it, she'll be different, things will change.  Then after I'd gotten a very long break from her (I hadn't seen her in a decade and though we talked at least three or four times a week I had learned that there were things I could talk about with her which would allow her to vent about her other sources of supply) she came for a visit, and it was like a punch in the gut.  I cried nearly the whole time she was here.  It took me to middle age to realize what she was. So crazy and sad.  

 

Reo, your situation with your mom is where I expect mine to end up.   I'm sorry.  I hope you're staying strong and healthy for yourself and the people who love you. I agree that Kim doesn't have much to look forward to.  

 

I've said it before, but you can't love these people.  They don't have the capacity for it themselves. and sadly, don't even understand it.  They'll just take from you until you have nothing left to give.

Nexxie,  Reo and Hayden -- I fear I have only a few likes left -- so like, like like -- and thanks for your thoughtful sharing.

[SwordQueen]

“Andy, Fozzy is off limits.”

 

From now on I'm going to just end all of my arguments with "space cake".

 

And I'm going to always apologize like this:

 

Space cake, baby.

 

I loved it when Kim informed everyone that her wagon has a seat belt, so that's why a 100% pain pill is not a relapse because you can't actually fall off a wagon when you're buckled in to it, you know.  

[IKnowRight]

Is Chad an addict as well?

I thought he suffered from a mental illness.

I actually believe that Kim is a pill popper and that the alcohol puts her in a belligerent mood.

Hi LIMON,

I'm not positive, but from all the reports and new stories I have read, I thought it was a combination of some type of drug/alcohol abuse and depression. It's so sad. We often talk about eradicating cancer, if only...but nothing to me is as sad as the thought of watching ones child suffer from depression like this...imagine a world without this darkness inhabiting so many souls?

I know there is a lot of darkness felt by Kim and her children, so I had always felt pangs of sympathy for her. Over the last few years I have lost my empathy for her and save it for her children. I know his fathers family situation is a train wreck. I'm stunned that, on the surface, Kims children are doing as well as we think they are from what we see and what their friends say about them. I think with Brooke & Kimberly their dads have kept them emotionally healthy. Whitney & Chads father and family are almost as screwed up as Little Kathy, Kim & Kyle.

As a mom, we all try our best...but to go on a bender right after your son is released from a facility like this? She needs to demonstrate that supposed 3 years of sobriety and to be all there for Chad. This just gives me another reason to dislike her behavior even more.

I have often said, aside from cancer and natural disasters, if everyone in this world could just look beyond their own selfishness & Narcisism and followed the golden rule & didn't bring harm to others, just think of how beautiful the world could be for us all? Big Kathy mentally abused her kids, the cycle continued with Kim and Kims tortured life makes her lash out & brings harm to her family and friends. I have 100% sympathy for Kyle, regardless of the fact that Kyle can at times be a bitch. Kim is fighting demons, Kyle, Rinna, LVP, Eileen, Ken Todd, have nothing to do with what happened last night or any other time Kim sought to deflect & place blame for her problems at their feet. People like Brandi give her the reinforcement to lash out & blame everyone but Kim.

[Avaleigh]

Except for poker night where she acknowledged she took a pill,  I thought Kim was coherent and sober this season.  I saw no evidence of drinking on her part so I don't get why this arrest is an "outing of her non-sobriety".  It's a fall off the wagon like the pain pill was.

I hope KIm writes a blog after she's been clean for a couple days.  I would be interested to hear from her and apparently she has a contractual obligation to write for Bravo so I hope she's woman enough to do it.

You honestly thought she seemed coherent and sober at Kyle's mixer?

 

I didn't think she was making sense during the reunion, she wasn't making any sense during Palm Springs, and frankly she seemed like she was in the throes of an addict rage in Amsterdam. I said it back then--the deeper voice she uses when she repeatedly says "Lying about ME!" Sounded just like her aggressive addict voice that we've heard in the past. That shit was dark and frightening and we've seen her go into these sick rages for years now. 

 

Also, it isn't just about drinking with Kim as Kim would like to have you believe. I'm sure that at the very least prescription drugs were involved in the Polo Lounge debacle as well.

 

This arrest is absolutely an outing of Kim's nonsobriety. She's been trying to fool her family, viewers, and herself for years now and finally there's some hardcore evidence that she isn't going to be able to hand wave away and dismiss as much as she would like to try.

 

I totally disagree that this incident is the equivalent of Kim slipping up and taking a pain pill. Even if we take Kim's word for it what happened on Poker Night (no reason we should given her history) the incident at the Polo Lounge was worse in every way because she got her ass arrested. Kim isn't going to learn anything if this isn't treated as though it's really serious this time. If she can't acknowledge that she's been off of the wagon for quite some time now then where is the hope that she's going to start taking these relapses seriously? When is she going to acknowledge that these are huge red flags and that she is putting her life at risk and has been for years now? For a woman who claims to care so much about her family and children it's sad to me that she can't think about them when it comes to being honest about her sobriety and addictions.   

 

There were many people who wanted to give Kim the benefit of the doubt and IMO every time people do she reveals how undeserving she is of the non stop sympathy, understanding, and being given the benefit of the doubt over her foul behavior. She hasn't learned a blasted thing, not from the way she exposed and humiliated herself in seasons 1-5, Hawaii, Game Night, SUR, Kathy's store, Paris, Ojai, Puerto Rico, Amsterdam, Palm Springs--the list goes on all we have to do is point out names and locations and it's easy to remember an occasion in said place where Kim was behaving rudely, inappropriately, upsetting other people, etc. 

 

Now we have the Polo Lounge incident to add onto the ever growing pile. At what point is enough going to be enough before Kim acknowledges the truth about what her addiction is constantly doing to other people whether they are strangers, co-workers, loved ones, etc.?

Edited April 17, 2015 by Avaleigh

[GreatKazu]

 

ETA: Forgot this point but it matters. Kyle confirmed for me and all of us that she didn't care about Kim in any sincere way. In part 3 of the reunion Kyle told Kim the only reason she puts up with Kim is because Kyle loves Kim's daughters

You actually mentioned this very point before in a previous thread. I know, because I responded to it. I posted that Kyle saying she puts up with Kim because of the kids was NOT her saying that is how she felt all the time, ever since, or always felt that way about Kim. Kyle was relating her current mood and feelings. It likely started by the end of the filming or there was likely some friction going on away from the show, which isn't so hard to understand when one is dealing with an addict.

 

There are countless people who "put up with" an addict for the sake of the children. Al-Anon is filled with people just like that. There is no shame for a family member to cut off an addict or to distance themselves from them and to commit themselves to caring for the children of the addict. I know, because that is what I am currently doing with a family member. I let them know where I stand with their addiction and I set my boundaries. In some ways I still have to put up with the addict because it is impossible to not see them at get-togethers or social events. I put up with them because of the kids being there in their lives.  I sincerely doubt if Kyle had no sincere concern for Kim, Kyle would put herself, her spouse and her own family through the struggle all these years that is known as addiction.

 

 

Addiction will suck the life not only out of the addict but every single person that surrounds them as well.

That's right.

 

Avaleigh - Spot on!

Edited April 17, 2015 by GreatKazu

[PreposterousISTA]

Andy Cohen reveals he's reached out to Kyle Richards following Kim's drunken arrest

By MailOnline Reporter

Published: 16:03 EST, 17 April 2015 | Updated: 16:14 EST, 17 April 2015

 

 

In an interview with Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS radio show on Friday the 46-year-old Bravo host admitted that while he didn't know all the details of what happened, he had extended well-wishes to the 50-year-old through her sister, Kyle.

 

He revealed: 'I reached out to Kyle and the family is obviously very concerned. I don't know exactly what happened, but I'm thinking of her,'

 

He added: 'I'm glad she wasn't hurt, and I hope it leads to some peaceful resolution for her and her family.'

 

The TV personality also made it clear he wants nothing but the best for the stars of long-running reality show Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills with a Tweet on Friday.

 

Responding to a follower who had insinuated that Andy revels in the Real Housewives getting into trouble, the host replied: 'I hate it, actually. I NEVER root against a RH. I only want the best for them.'

 

It was only days ago that his interview with the stars of RHOB aired for the reunion finale, capping season five of the show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3044164/Andy-Cohen-reveals-s-reached-Kyle-Richards-following-Kim-s-drunken-arrest.html

Edited April 17, 2015 by PreposterousISTA

[Rahul]

Now we have the Polo Lounge incident to add onto the ever growing pile. At what point is enough going to be enough before Kim acknowledges the truth about what her addiction is constantly doing to other people whether they are strangers, co-workers, loved ones, etc.?

 

Kim is not capable of telling the truth. Chronic drug and alcohol abuse has altered her thinking to such a degree that Kim cannot even see how unbelievable her concocted stories are (ie. bronchitis, pneumonia, hernia, slipped disc). This woman would rather trip all over her lies and back herself into a corner with her tangled web of lies than ever admit culpability for the things she's done wrong.

 

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, and Kim refuses to do that. She will never be on the path to recovery until and unless she admits that she's been off the wagon for quite some time now. The facts and footage speak for themselves, no matter what claims she has made to the contrary.

Edited April 17, 2015 by Rahul

[racked]

 

It was only days ago that his interview with the stars of RHOB aired for the reunion finale, capping season five of the show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3044164/Andy-Cohen-reveals-s-reached-Kyle-Richards-following-Kim-s-drunken-arrest.html

 

There's got to be an unspoken "Except Jill Zarin" there. 

[LIMOM]

Hi LIMON,

I'm not positive, but from all the reports and new stories I have read, I thought it was a combination of some type of drug/alcohol abuse and depression. It's so sad. We often talk about eradicating cancer, if only...but nothing to me is as sad as the thought of watching ones child suffer from depression like this...imagine a world without this darkness inhabiting so many souls?

I know there is a lot of darkness felt by Kim and her children, so I had always felt pangs of sympathy for her. Over the last few years I have lost my empathy for her and save it for her children. I know his fathers family situation is a train wreck. I'm stunned that, on the surface, Kims children are doing as well as we think they are from what we see and what their friends say about them. I think with Brooke & Kimberly their dads have kept them emotionally healthy. Whitney & Chads father and family are almost as screwed up as Little Kathy, Kim & Kyle.

As a mom, we all try our best...but to go on a bender right after your son is released from a facility like this? She needs to demonstrate that supposed 3 years of sobriety and to be all there for Chad. This just gives me another reason to dislike her behavior even more.

I have often said, aside from cancer and natural disasters, if everyone in this world could just look beyond their own selfishness & Narcisism and followed the golden rule & didn't bring harm to others, just think of how beautiful the world could be for us all? Big Kathy mentally abused her kids, the cycle continued with Kim and Kims tortured life makes her lash out & brings harm to her family and friends. I have 100% sympathy for Kyle, regardless of the fact that Kyle can at times be a bitch. Kim is fighting demons, Kyle, Rinna, LVP, Eileen, Ken Todd, have nothing to do with what happened last night or any other time Kim sought to deflect & place blame for her problems at their feet. People like Brandi give her the reinforcement to lash out & blame everyone but Kim.

Thanks for your post.

They probably use together then.

Kim does not need a sober companion, she needs CANDY FINNEGAN and a real intervention.

So sad.

[kassa]

One of my guilty pleasures is the Jail show, and that and Cops is where I received my vast law enforcement knowledge.  You can be drunk and get processed just fine.  They yuk it up with cooperative drunk people all the time.  But if you come in and can’t (or won’t) follow orders?  Into the drunk tank to sleep it off.  Get physically combative?  Expect to spend even more time, and they’ll eventually get around to dealing with you.  One of the stories said she assaulted the cop during the fingerprinting process.  A lot of times on the Jail show they act up during finger printing or mug shots, and that’s when they throw in the towel and stick them in the cell.  When you’re sufficiently sobered up to at least attempt civility, they’ll let you out – but not before then.

 

Obviously the officers know they're being filmed, and that might influence things, but I'm constantly surprised by how pleasantly they interact with the newly sobered up arrestees who were so completely vicious towards them mere hours ago, including ones who were so physically out of control three officers end up throwing them to the ground and pinning them, or strapping them to a chair like Hannibal Lector and putting a spit mask on their face.  It's part of the job and unfortunately a lot of drunks are mean drunks and they seem not to take it terribly personally -- they just put them away until they're rational.  

 

I doubt they go through with prosecuting assault and battery on a police officer on most of those cases, even if technically justified.  Too much paperwork, testimony in court, all for something that's going to go away anyway?  I assume it's reserved for frequent offenders and anybody so heinous even a couple more hours off the street is of benefit, not 100 lb housewives, however obnoxious.  

[SwordQueen]

You actually mentioned this very point before in a previous thread. I know, because I responded to it. I posted that Kyle saying she puts up with Kim because of the kids was NOT her saying that is how she felt all the time, ever since, or always felt that way about Kim. Kyle was relating her current mood and feelings. It likely started by the end of the filming or there was likely some friction going on away from the show, which isn't so hard to understand when one is dealing with an addict.

 

There are countless people who "put up with" an addict for the sake of the children. Al-Anon is filled with people just like that. There is no shame for a family member to cut off an addict or to distance themselves from them and to commit themselves to caring for the children of the addict. I know, because that is what I am currently doing with a family member. I let them know where I stand with their addiction and I set my boundaries. In some ways I still have to put up with the addict because it is impossible to not see them at get-togethers or social events. I put up with them because of the kids being there in their lives.  I sincerely doubt if Kyle had no sincere concern for Kim, Kyle would put herself, her spouse and her own family through the struggle all these years that is known as addiction.

 

That's right.

 

Avaleigh - Spot on!

 

Discussing issues like this is so hard, I think, when there are so many varying mindsets on family and what that means.  It isn't that - for those of us who have cut off family members - it was easy for us to do so or that we don't care for our family.  I think those two can be common misconceptions.  I don't believe for a second that Kyle doesn't or never cared for Kim.  Not for a second.  But there's only so much a person can take, and everyone's limit is different.  It also feels like there's such a tug-of-war going on with those who say that 1) Kyle needs to toughen up and stop engaging with Kim, but at the same time, 2) how can Kyle be so cold and cruel and unsupportive of Kim.  

 

Again, loved ones just cannot win when it comes to the addicts in their lives.  They are always going to be judged on what they did or didn't do, while some addicts, like Kim, are always getting the sympathy, because hey, they can't help being addicts.  The addict is the one who holds all of the cards in these situations and so, it's not accurate to say that the loved ones are the ones who have more control/autonomy in the relationship.  Each person has to take responsibility for themselves and sometimes that means for the loved one, cutting the addict out of their lives.  As much as some would like to think that families should always stick together, life doesn't pan out that way and it's often sink or swim and I don't know anyone who would encourage a person to willingly let themselves drown while trying to hold up another person -- a person who desires to drown right along with them, no less.  That kind of self-sacrifice is tantamount to suicide, imo.

 

It's a tough place to be in when you've cut family out of your life.  People talk about their familes and it can be hard to join in because of all the drama.  People will ask you about it but many won't understand or they will openly guilt or judge you.  Now my family issues aren't about addiction but I really try not to think about the fact that I haven't seen nor spoken to my brother in about 10 years, that I haven't seen my ex-SIL in about that same amount of time, and most painfully, I haven't seen one of my nephews in that long either.  He has no idea who I am and I certainly wouldn't be able to pick him out of a crowd.  No more family dinners and holidays like we used to have -- not in 10 years.  Families are destroyed because of dysfunction like yours and mine and the Richards sisters', so it's hard for me to judge what Kyle chooses to do because there aren't any easy answers to this.  Some have scoffed at the idea of Kyle relenting because of the kids, but I see why she wouldn't want to rock the boat for their sakes all of these years.  Now that they are mostly grown, I hope she will readjust her boundaries but I get why, because if I felt like there was any way to be in my nephew's life all this time and still keep some of my sanity intact, I would have been.  

[GreatKazu]

swordqueen you have a way with words. Well said.

 

 

It isn't that - for those of us who have cut off family members - it was easy for us to do so or that we don't care for our family.  I think those two can be common misconceptions.

Exactly. 

[Satchels of gold]

Andy Cohen reveals he's reached out to Kyle Richards following Kim's drunken arrest

By MailOnline Reporter

Published: 16:03 EST, 17 April 2015 | Updated: 16:14 EST, 17 April 2015

 

 

In an interview with Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS radio show on Friday the 46-year-old Bravo host admitted that while he didn't know all the details of what happened, he had extended well-wishes to the 50-year-old through her sister, Kyle.

 

He revealed: 'I reached out to Kyle and the family is obviously very concerned. I don't know exactly what happened, but I'm thinking of her,'

 

He added: 'I'm glad she wasn't hurt, and I hope it leads to some peaceful resolution for her and her family.'

 

The TV personality also made it clear he wants nothing but the best for the stars of long-running reality show Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills with a Tweet on Friday.

 

Responding to a follower who had insinuated that Andy revels in the Real Housewives getting into trouble, the host replied: 'I hate it, actually. I NEVER root against a RH. I only want the best for them.'

 

It was only days ago that his interview with the stars of RHOB aired for the reunion finale, capping season five of the show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3044164/Andy-Cohen-reveals-s-reached-Kyle-Richards-following-Kim-s-drunken-arrest.html

I really wish Andy would have left Kyle out of this. Surely has other avenues to get a message to Kim. If he wanted to see how Kyle was handling things make that a separate phone call. Same goes for Brandi telling Lisa to talk to Kyle about Kim. Why not call Monty or Kathy " people give lip service to Kyle not being responsible for Kim but they don't act that way. Just let Kyle be and stop forcing her to be a messenger to Kim.

[haydensterling]

Who said Kim was excused? If I scream yell call my mother names and treat her horrendoulsly because I haven't figured out how to deal with it in a healthy manner even tho I'm a grown ass woman am I excused? Do I have an acceptable reason to behave and berate her or will I be taken to task for blaming MY circumstances, situations, emotional vulnerability? Kim can't blame others or anything but herself but Kyle can use Kim's addiction as a reason for not being healthy in how she deals and interacts with Kim? That's the imbalance that I can't get on board with. They both aren't handling issues very well or in a healthy manner but because Kim's the addict Kyle's faltering is nothing more than circumstances to be pitied. 

<snip>

 

I find it kind of interesting that this is being worded as 'mothers' when Kyle and Kim are siblings.  

Sorry if you didn't appreciate that some of us were sharing that our mothers failed us, but they did.  It happens.

Also?  Most of us have said repeatedly that we think both Kim and Kyle are messed up people, but that because of Kim's problems and our own life experiences, that we can empathize with Kyle.  I'm sorry that this empathy for Kyle makes others annoyed or angry.

[GreatKazu]

If Kim doesn't want Kyle to rub in her face the times that Kyle has had to support or help her, then Kim can stop asking for, needing and expecting help. 

 

Entitlement is a bitch.

I had wanted to quote this before, but got caught up in other posts. This is PURE GOLD right here.

 

 

because Kim's the addict Kyle's faltering is nothing more than circumstances to be pitied

I feel pretty safe in posting that it has been posted many, many times, that Kyle's reactions are not always the best. The communication skills are sorely lacking, and how she deals with Kim isn't always healthy. It has also been mentioned more than once that Kyle needs Al-Anon and therapy.  Not sure how those posts along with other posts that point out Kyle's "faltering" have been missed.

 

 

but that because of Kim's problems and our own life experiences, that we can empathize with Kyle.

Thank you.  It is like this damn show. We get slammed for apparently not empathizing, but when we do, we get slammed for empathizing with Kyle. I am so done with this.

 

Gimme some shit to laugh at!

Edited April 18, 2015 by GreatKazu

[Cheetosandchoc]

“Andy, Fozzy is off limits.”

 

From now on I'm going to just end all of my arguments with "space cake".

 

And I'm going to always apologize like this:

 

You forgot to add the baby part. Spacecake, baby.

[SwordQueen]

Maybe it's all semantics, I dunno, but for me, there's a difference between understanding the reason or causation for something and using that reason/causation to excuse any responsibility you have towards yourself and your actions.  And then at the same time, being able to own our subsequent actions doesn't mean we can't still hold some kind of feeling towards those that were the cause/trigger.  Things are never that black and white.  Kim and Kyle may be able to trace their feelings about themselves and some of their behaviors back to their childhood and more specifically to their mother.  In doing that, they learn more about who they are and how they show themselves to the world.  In doing that, they can learn that they are now, currently, in control of most aspects of their lives and set about changing what needs to be changed.  But those things don't mean that how they effect each other or how their mother treated them no longer matters or holds any power over them.

 

I'm probably not making any freaking sense, because I'm writing this while trying to dry my dog off from her bath, and it looks like I'm sucking at both things right now.  lol   

[DebbieM4]

  For me, it's the asshole part that brings on my desire to shame and mock, not the addict part.  

 

I'm not that into mocking anyone, but other than that I agree with you.  That's it in a nutshell for me.  It's the fact that she's an unfeeling, uncaring, cruel person, not the fact that she's an addict, that made me feel something less than compassion when I heard the news.

 

 If she had been an addict who was truly trying, truly struggling, my heart would absolutely be going out to her right now.  If she had been an addict who wasn't in such denial that she willingly puts friends, family, and all of us in danger, I would be empathetic.  If she had shown even a half-hearted effort for the sake of her children even if not for herself, I would have been sad to learn that this had happened.

 

Instead, my first thought was that now she can't deny, can't hide, and can't shriek at people that they should butt out because she's right, they're wrong, and she's fine.  Now she can just be embarrassed.  And  - maybe it's not compassionate for me to feel this way - but I thought that was a good thing.  I am an extremely caring person who has been told often that I am TOO empathetic.  But I was glad that something like this happened so publicly.  Because it exposed her to be exactly what people who care about her have been saying.  And because maybe now, just maybe, she'll be so embarrassed that she'll actually start owning up to all of this and get some real help.  (I doubt it.  Just throwing it out there.  Her personality and track record don't support that this will make the slightest bit of difference.)

 

IMO this is do or die time for her right now.  Maybe literally.

Edited April 18, 2015 by DebbieM4

[mbutterfly]

        If Kyle had anything to do with Kim coming on the show, She probably convinced herself that it would be a good thing. The show and getting her career back on track would turn her around kind of thinking.

 

 

 

I would strongly suspect, if Kyle played a role in Kim getting this job it was well-meant. Why would it not have been? Kyle isn't perfect, but if she suggested Kim and Kim wanted the job it must have looked like a good opportunity for Kim. As I say, Kyle isn't perfect but  I can't see a nefarious purpose for such a job recommend. 

[Samwil]

I can't help but think that our little pickled friends mind, she's winning.  She can blame the show, the ladies everyone but herself for her downfall, but look at all of the attention and publicity she's getting.  Everyone has heard about this and knows who she is.  She has a one up on Kyle.

[SFoster21]

Maybe it's all semantics, I dunno, but for me, there's a difference between understanding the reason or causation for something and using that reason/causation to excuse any responsibility you have towards yourself and your actions. And then at the same time, being able to own our subsequent actions doesn't mean we can't still hold some kind of feeling towards those that were the cause/trigger. Things are never that black and white. Kim and Kyle may be able to trace their feelings about themselves and some of their behaviors back to their childhood and more specifically to their mother. In doing that, they learn more about who they are and how they show themselves to the world. In doing that, they can learn that they are now, currently, in control of most aspects of their lives and set about changing what needs to be changed. But those things don't mean that how they effect each other or how their mother treated them no longer matters or holds any power over them.

I'm probably not making any freaking sense, because I'm writing this while trying to dry my dog off from her bath, and it looks like I'm sucking at both things right now. lol

Is this when you confess to having four hands? Or are we not that close yet?

4 you, Kazu!

Edited April 18, 2015 by SFoster21