S05.E03: Old Wounds

[DoctorWhovian]

All sorts of unlikely voices of reason here.

 

Catelyn for what she said regarding Carly and the posting of the video. She realizes that it's B&T's choice what to do, that they want to protect Carly, and she wants to maintain a good relationship with them so that she can see her. Tyler is an idiot and needs to move past this idea that he's anything to Carly at this point. I wonder if Carly knows that Catelyn and Tyler are her birth parents, or if they're "aunt and uncle", etc. And now that he's bad mouthed them on TV? Good luck with that Tyler. 

 

Tyler's mom started out great. Said he needed to get a job, and directly said that MTV doesn't count. But then shame on her for not putting Tyler in his place regarding the whole photo thing. Yup, B&T did not sign up to put Carly on TV, they signed up to adopt her.

 

Leah. Wow. To be smarter than your parents at five years old is something. I think it's cute that she thinks that she's on TV live. But she already understands that her mom will get mad seeing her with Kristina, and that her mom and Kristina need to meet. I'm curious what's being said to her when the cameras aren't around. And good for Gary for standing up for the importance of a schedule. I'm sure he knows that Amber doesn't stick to anything and I bet there's a past of Amber not doing what she's supposed to do when Leah's with her. 

 

Also good on the producer for telling Amber the truth: Gary has full custody so he gets to make those decisions. They need to set a schedule, doesn't have to be done in court or even with lawyers (although it should be filed so there's official record, but it's not necessary), maybe give Amber every other weekend (Friday-Sunday, back at Gary's for the school night). Then when she shows that this goes well, you can look for closer to 50/50. But for now, it's all on Gary, and these random phone calls asking to see her aren't good. It's just too random for a small kid.

 

Maci should have called or texted when she arrived, because that's just an easy way to do it, and should not have waited 45 minutes to call, but Ryan should have been there when he said considering he was at some convenience store in his truck when she did call? Shouldn't he have seen her there so close to his apartment? But good on Maci and boyfriend de jour for how they handled Bentley not wanting to go to Ryan's. That's exactly how it should be done (you'll have fun, etc.). 

[ghoulina]

If she hadn't wanted him involved she wouldn't have dropped the Bent off there herself. There was no reason why she should tell him because he already knew. Transparent I say.

 

I don't think Maci dropped Bentley off at his grandparents's house because she wanted them involved. Ryan basically prevented her from coming to his house like a normal person, and instead left her waiting in a gas station parking lot for nearly an hour. Then when she spoke to him, he began calling her "dumbass" and "stupid". She was getting riled up and didn't want to deal with Ryan anymore. So she dropped Bentley off the only other place she knew, the place he has been being dropped off at for years now. She knew Ryan would be able to come get the kid, and she wouldn't have to face him and likely get into a giant argument in front of Bentley. I think she was too pissed at that time to even want to relay to Jeff what happened. She just wanted to get out of there. 

 

I felt so sad when Leah said her favorite part of school is eating. I looked at Jabba the Hut Gary, and I feel really bad for Leah. I doubt they're serving her salad at home. Poor kid.

 

When she said that, Gary responded with something like, "Daddy likes to eat too". Yea, tell us something we don't know, Gary. 

 

I hated when Catelynn tried to justify Carly being known in public by saying that Bentley and the other kids get noticed and harassed all the time, so its no big deal. Its actually really confusing for a small child, who may then grow into a famewhore like Tyler.

 

I didn't think Cate was trying to justify it. I thought she was using that as an example of what B&T don't want for Carly. 

 

And then he's 30 min late to meet Maci later.... at least she's used to it and knew to order food before he got there.  Was nice of her to order him a pizza but I don't think he even ate it.

 

Nope. Just pointed out the "pecker gnats" that were on it. Lovely. 

[qtpye]

And then he's 30 min late to meet Maci later.... at least she's used to it and knew to order food before he got there.  Was nice of her to order him a pizza but I don't think he even ate it.

 

 

Well, it was supposedly covered in "pecker gnats" (brought to you by the sparkling wit of Ryan).

 

I second the thought of how sad I felt when Leah said eating was the best part of school and Gary responded with "I like to eat too".  With Gary and Amber's genes and no model for healthy eating I think this very cute 5 year old will soon become an overweight, unhealthy pre-teen.  Amber just KILLS me too with her fiegned shock.  She's so dramatic over the tiniest thing and her modus operandi whenever she hears anything she doesn't like (no matter how reasonable it is) is to throw her hands up in the air, make a face like you just stabbed her, and stare at the camera like "can you BELIEVE this??".  It was comical for a while and now it's just plain annoying.

 

 

On what planet is Amber an excellent parent who deserves full custody?  I feel the only thing keeping her from using again are the cameras.  She has neither the aptitude or the patience for full time child rearing.  Heck, she only got off the drugs because she went to "jell".

 

Could we please stage an intervention for Gary's eating?  Gary can be an annoying jerk ( I have no idea why that seemingly nice woman is with him), but I do think he loves his daughter.  I am afraid he is not going to see the other end of thirty with his weight being so out of control. 

 

Leah is such a sweet kid.  I hope that she beats the odds and ends of being an emotionally stable person who has great eating habits.

[gunderda]

now i'm wondering why maci couldn't have dropped bentley off at his apartment? didn't ryan say he lived really close to that gas station? i get why she didn't want to do it afterwards cause she didn't want to see him, but why not make plans to drop him off at the apt at the very beginning?

both of them were wrong in the situation.  ryan for not being there on the scheduled time and maci for not sending a text 10-15 min later "we're here" and instead waits 40 minutes so that she can look like the victim. 

Edited April 8, 2015 by gunderda

[lezlers]

I don't want to defend Ryan AT ALL, but the way he was asking "why didn't you call" or something along those lines made me think he was expecting her to call or text before he went out to meet them, presumably to let him know they were there.  Both of them were kind of stupid, him for not texting HER if he was wondering why she wasn't there yet and her for sitting there nearly an hour with a five year old and not just texting him to see where HE was.  I mean, he lived RIGHT NEXT to where they were! The whole thing looked like a passive aggressive power struggle from both sides.

[Miasmomma]

I can't put this in quotes because it's too many comments. I don't care about what miscommunication happened between Ryan and Maci. I don't care if she's always late. He should never under any circumstances call her names ever. Even if she's dead wrong.

[brandyelf]

It really is like all of these kids are frozen at 16. Thanks, MTV!

[CaughtOnTape]

Amber, Amber, Amber you are ridiculous. You're a great mom!? You deserve to have her sleep over!? You want to get pissed and hang up on Gary. Bitch, you owe Gary everything. In case you forgot, you just spent time in prison... PRISON!! Please take several seats with I'm the best mom shit. It's comical. 

 

Amber exhibits addict relapse behavior to a T and I have no doubt she's going to go down in flames soon.  She takes no responsibility for her shit.  She's sober now so everything she did to destroy her credibility and people's trust in her due to her abuse of them while she was using is in the past.  In her mind Gary needs to get over it and let her parent her kid.  She's fine now!!

Problem with that is Gary is still probably experiencing some PTSD from what went down with Amber and when he feels like they've taken a step forward she sends them 3 steps back when she gets pissed, cops an attitude, starts slinging insults and hangs up.  That's how the abuse started last time, what's to guarantee it won't happen this time.

Amber needs to take a seat, take a breath and calm the fuck down.  One step at a time.  Gary let's you have Leah?  Thank him for the time and do what you can to get everything you can in while you're together.  Because, sweets, he has full custody and he doesn't have to let you do shit.  Remember that next time you wanna get shitty on the phone with him.

 

As far as Tyler's concerned, he is immature and under developed.  He is just now realizing the consequences of his decisions.  He knew very well that giving Carly up to B&T would mean he couldn't see Carly, but he didn't think past that.  So if he wants to post a video of his daughter up on social media he should be allowed to do that.  Things are very black and white with Tyler.

[Snarky McSnarky]

What part of "No photos on the Internet" did Tyler not understand?  Was it really that important to share photos with 400,000 anonymous people in order to count the "likes" and read comments like "awwww, how cute?"

 

Between the posting of photos and his childish ranting on national television, Tyler is demonstrating a serious lack of respect for the adoptive parents, and it would not surprise me to see them pull the rug out from under the "open adoption."

[ghoulina]

now i'm wondering why maci couldn't have dropped bentley off at his apartment? didn't ryan say he lived really close to that gas station? i get why she didn't want to do it afterwards cause she didn't want to see him, but why not make plans to drop him off at the apt at the very beginning?

 

She did offer, in the beginning, to just bring Bentley there. Ryan was the one who came up with the idea of meeting at the car wash, he made some excuse about her not having to bother with "the gate" for his apartment. (Because, you know, it requires a degree in neuroscience to get into one of those.) I'm guessing he just didn't want her seeing his apartment for some reason or other. 

[lezlers]

He probably didn't want Maci to meet his current girlfriend.  I've seen lots of guys play up animosity between their ex and current partner in order to feel big and bad themselves. 

[ghoulina]

He probably didn't want Maci to meet his current girlfriend.  I've seen lots of guys play up animosity between their ex and current partner in order to feel big and bad themselves.

 

For sure. Except Shelby was in the car with Ryan. So they would have at least seen each other, same as if she brought Bentley to the apartment. I don't know, Ryan comes off as a very controlling douche to me. In the sense that only HE should have any control over what he does. If someone suggests a plan, he'll nix just because it wasn't the one he came up with.

[ChristmasJones]

One thing about the whole Carly situation.

 

She is going to grow up, and at some point, its going to be her choice if she wants contact with her birth parents. BrandonTheresa may be able to control the contact until she is 18, but after that, they lose that option. They may lose the control before then now that the internet and social media are so pervasive. Even if they tried to restrict the use at home, Carly could easily go to a friend's house when she is middle school and start searching.  That is the reality of adoption which can be a hard pill for adoptive parents to swallow. There is an illusion of Carly only being "theirs" because of the legal process of adoption. But the truth is that Carly is not 100% theirs. She came from another family. And ultimately its going to be up to her to define who her family is when she is older.

 

I don't think C&T realized the long-term implications of giving Carly up for adoption, and I can't fault them for their ignorance, as they had no one to tell them the reality of the situation back then. All they had was an adoption broker working for an affluent couple who really wanted a baby.

 

I would just tell them both to be patient. They are both still young, and will only be in their early 30's when Carly turns 18. I think Tyler needs to focus on that and maybe that will help him cope with his feelings about this situation. He could also use some therapy.

[DangerousMinds]

I forgot to add another thing that bothers me about Catelynn and Tyler. Why does Catelynn always drive him? You'd think he would be driving her to doctor appointments when they both go. Does he not have a license? My husband always drives me when we are together. They aren't even taking turns here, it's always Catelynn driving Tyler, just strikes me as odd. Maybe I'm weird...

IDK, I always find myself wondering why some men insist on always being the driver (including and especially my own dad).

[DangerousMinds]

What part of "No photos on the Internet" did Tyler not understand? Was it really that important to share photos with 400,000 anonymous people in order to count the "likes" and read comments like "awwww, how cute?"

Between the posting of photos and his childish ranting on national television, Tyler is demonstrating a serious lack of respect for the adoptive parents, and it would not surprise me to see them pull the rug out from under the "open adoption."

As an adopted child, I consider my adoptive parents my only parents. Bio parents' names are not even on birth certificates. Tyler is delusional, IMO. Carly IS 100% Brandon and Thwresa's daughter. Edited April 8, 2015 by DangerousMinds

[purplemonkey]

I bet if Larry and Jen went away on an extended cruise for a few weeks, those two ass clowns aka Bentley's parents would suddenly figure out how to get him from A to B at a given time.

[GreatKazu]

I don't want to defend Ryan AT ALL, but the way he was asking "why didn't you call" or something along those lines made me think he was expecting her to call or text before he went out to meet them, presumably to let him know they were there.  Both of them were kind of stupid, him for not texting HER if he was wondering why she wasn't there yet and her for sitting there nearly an hour with a five year old and not just texting him to see where HE was.  I mean, he lived RIGHT NEXT to where they were! The whole thing looked like a passive aggressive power struggle from both sides.

I want to agree with this, but when it was mentioned Ryan lives 100 yards from that drop-off spot, I had to facepalm Ryan. Maci is going out of her way to drive to drop off Bentley. It was mentioned that 1:30 would be the agreed upon time. How hard would it have been for Ryan for call or text Maci and ask if she was there at the drop-off spot? How hard would it have been for him to get in his car and drive to that spot at 1:30 even if it meant he would have to wait five minutes. He was not ordering pizza, he was there to pick up his flesh and blood. I'd sit in the rain if it meant I would be picking up my child whom I love and adore and didn't have full custody of.

 

It seems there is an issue about Maci being late, something she admitted she has done. Whether she was late due to traffic or to Bentley giving her a hard time, I don't know, but she did admit to it. This might have played a part in why Ryan was not wanting to be sitting out there waiting for her. With that past history, how hard is it for either one of them to have texted or called the other? Maci could have texted Ryan to say she is five minutes away. Ryan could have texted Maci to ask where was she. KISS - keep it simple stupid.

[lezlers]

She probably has it on speaker because MTV requires it while filming.

Somebody above posted that she believes Maci and Ryan hook up in between relationships. I just don't see it. They really seem to hate each other.

Then again, she DID buy him a pizza while he kept her waiting at the restaurant so who knows.

ETA: Chelsea and adam, yes. Maci and Ryan, not so much.

 

I remember on the "Being Maci" special that Ryan was trying pretty hard to hook up with her while she was out with her friends.  If I remember correctly, he was dating Dalis at the time as well. He was following her around a club like a freaking puppy dog.  It was messed up.  

[Jess14]

I'm also finding some significance in her admitting that she's late sometimes.  If you take away Ryan's berating her, which she can prevent Bentley from hearing, she's just as guilty as Ryan.  Ryan seemed to be expecting a call, regardless of what time they'd set for meeting, so I wonder if she's late often enough that this is standard operating procedure.

 

 

I don't think Maci is as much to blame for this incident, but I'm pretty sure that this is what happened, especially since Ryan and Shelby seemed to head to the gas station as soon as Maci called. However, I think this goes back to one of Ryan's biggest problems - he cannot communicate. Had he said "call me when you get there" - he would be completely in the right, but he didn't. They agreed to meet at 1:30. Now most rational would call someone after waiting for 15 minutes not 40, and Maci probably spent more time driving to Ryan's parents than she would have had she just waited a few more minutes, but when people are angry, they're not always rational. 

 

I forgot it at first, but I really hope Amber is embarrassed when she watches Leah talking about Amber being mad about seeing Kristina. That really is not something that a 5 year old should be dealing.  Also, I rolled my eyes at Amber and her cousin talking about how much they love each other - this is the same girl who was nowhere to be found when she was in prison with no cameras around? Ok. We know that she didn't visit, but did she write to her, did they talk on the phone? I doubt it. 

 

An another point on Tyler - his whole reasoning for putting the video up made no sense. I doubt Brandon and Teresa care about him making a powerpoint, the issue is putting it online. Why couldn't he just watch it with Catelyn or their family and friends? Do they even have friends or are their "fans" their friends? Whatever. 

[fetching]

Is it just me or does anyone else find Tyler's interest in children a little unusual? How many young men do you know that are just dying to settle down and have a boatload of kids?

[Meghansmom]

I really feel like Macy would be so much better off if she just makes some kind of arrangement with Ryan's parents where she could drop Bentley off at their house and then Ryan can pick Bentley up from them.  It seems that Bentley would rather spend time with his grandparents and Ryan only seems to spend time with Bentley because he has to.  Bentley is not a big fan of his father at all.

 

Tyler.  YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS WHAT SO EVER WHEN IT COMES TO CARLY.  Brandon and Theresa owe you nothing.  If anything, you should be grateful that they have given Carly a life you never could.  What was told to Catelynn and Tyler 5-6 years ago may have been somewhat misleading, especially since they (C&T) were children and didn't exactly understand what was going to happen, but neither did B&T.  Carly's parents make the rules and Tyler needs to STFU and follow them. 

 

Amber.  No meetings, no therapy=relapse in the making.  She has never been a mother to Leah and the fact that she couldn't follow the fact that Gary wants to establish a schedule for Leah shows that she doesn't care about Leah and her well being.  Did Dr. Drew really say something about the meetings in the mid west not being anonymous?  I missed that.  If he did WTF??????  I am an addict in recovery.  I have a daughter.  I am constantly working on me to be a better mother and human being in general.  Recovery is work and the work never ends.  Amber is abstinent, not in recovery.

[Brooklynista]

Is it just me or does anyone else find Tyler's interest in children a little unusual? How many young men do you know that are just dying to settle down and have a boatload of kids?

Everything about Tyler just throws me off. Main thing being his lack of...libido? Prowess? Those aren't the right words. Tyler just never struck me a "sexy sexy yum yum" kinda guy. Granted, not every man has a high sex drive, but from Tyler I never get anything.

You know Ryan is getting it in. You know when it's Gary Time. Tyler? Not so much. Tyler never looks at Cate like he can't wait til that camera crew leaves. When they do interact it looks so sterile and...chaste. There's no there there.

[GreatKazu]

 

Did Dr. Drew really say something about the meetings in the mid west not being anonymous?  I missed that.

I think it was mentioned with Amber's "celebrity status", she shouldn't expect to have any anonymity. What struck me odd about that comment is, why is it important for her to have anonymity when she had a book published where she put all of her shit out there? She is also on a tv show where she is discussing her prison stint, her addiction, and everything else about her life? Her addiction played out for all to see. Why is there even a discussion about anonymity? A-list real celebrities have attended Al-Anon, been in rehab, gone to 12 step meetings. The late Robin Williams was a regular attendee of meetings and that man was a STAR! I am sure he may have expected someone to discuss what he may have said at those meetings, but his sobriety was important enough to him that he made it a point to attend. Amber? Not so much. She is the Kim Richards of the midwest. Denial, denial, denial.

[SnarkKitty]

I want Ryan's GF 2.0 (no point in learning her name) to really pay attention to how Ryan treats Bentley. Pay attention to how he talks to Maci. That will be you. Don't make the mistake in thinking it'll be different for you. He's showing you right now who he is. Believe him. He's telling you everything you need to know right now.

And screw you Ryan for making me side with Maci. Damn you straight to hell.

 

I swear, every time I read something that I find myself thinking "took the words right out of my fingers," or simply cracks me the hell up, I look back to see who posted, and know it's gonna be you, Brooklynista.

 

Ghoulina-pissed-off-o-meter  

Also, how in the seven hells is Krista able to go on a publicity tour with Amber? Isn't she a single mom? What about her kids? I just keep going back to what Amber's mom said about Krista coming around for the cameras, and it seems like she is just as much of a famewhore as Tyler. 

 

Love it.

 

Yep, she sure is, that's why she couldn't visit Amber in jail for a few hours a week. Off camera. Because she's a single parent, and you know, the kids and she was "going through things." So now - still single with kids - she's free to take off for a week or more to be there for Amber. On camera. *cough*

 

Amber knew her mother was spitting hot truth, but she didn't want it going down because she doesn't have anyone else to film with. Chick has no friends.

 

  How dare he not let her have a sleepover with Bew Bew on a school night.

See? LMFAO. 'Cause the pronunciation is all up in there.

 

Is it just me or does anyone else find Tyler's interest in children a little unusual? How many young men do you know that are just dying to settle down and have a boatload of kids?

 

My stupid ass brother. He's so pressed for them that some ex showed up 2 years later pregnant talking about it was his, and he was good with it. Sheesh. Dudes be dancing away on Maury, he's running towards it. Still none of his own at 40 though he has 3 stepkids with his former wife that he still claims, and countless other kids of ex's and girl=friends that he's a faux-fatherish figure to. Which would be touching, if he were worth emulating. But that's another story. Maybe True Life: I Am NOT the Baby's Father (But I Wanna Be.)

 

 

You know Ryan is getting it in. You know when it's Gary Time. Tyler? Not so much. Tyler never looks at Cate like he can't wait til that camera crew leaves.

 

I cannot with you. I'm not doing this tooodaaay!

Edited April 9, 2015 by SnarkKitty

[leighroda]

Man, Tyler is getting a much different edit, who did he piss off!?

I feel a little bad that before this aired I lumped Catelynn in with Tyler on the famewhoring Carly issue, now to see she didn't think it was a good idea (although she maybe could have been a little more adament about it)... sorry cate.

it just annoys me, when he says crap about knowing what you're getting into, not only did they have no clue what would happen with 16& pregnant/teen mom, but even social media in general wasn't necessarily as big of a deal as it is now when Carly was born.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Is it just me or does anyone else find Tyler's interest in children a little unusual? How many young men do you know that are just dying to settle down and have a boatload of kids?

Just young men who are on reality shows about young people parenting who want to extend their 15 minutes of fame & TV show by having another baby.....

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

I know Catelynn and Tyler have made plenty of money touring around the country doing speaking engagements and promoting Bethany Christian Services.

I have to wonder how a Christian organization feels about their spokespeople getting pregnant again while not married and not having finished any of the things they probably claimed in speaking engagements they were going to be able to do "for Carly" (college, etc) since they placed her for adoption. Having the second child at 22 when they haven't finished anything except high school (which I give them credit for & I'm not sure they would have done without the pressure from TM; I think they may have been first generation high school grads on at least some sides of their families) and are unmarried. I can't imagine that a Christian adoption agency that targets married, middle to upper class Christian couples appreciates or is particularly pleased that their two sweetheart spokespeople have had a baby out of wedlock on purpose.

I wonder if getting pregnant with Nova cut down on some of the speaking engagements, etc that they do for money with Bethany. And if so, I wonder if that plays into the anger Tyler feels about the whole adoption situation. Maybe he's also upset with himself for not only pressuring Cate into the adoption but also the role he's played in influencing other young parents to place their babies for open adoptions only to find out they really aren't as open as they'd been led to believe by Bethany.

If anyone's interested there's an interesting short reading here about the large percentage of open adoptions that eventually close (perhaps up to 80% of them) and Bethany in particular- http://www.firstmotherforum.com/2010/07/are-open-adoptions-boon-for-birth.html.

I think T&C are damn lucky B&T haven't closed the adoption. They are either good people who care for T&C and think its important for Carly to get an opportunity to know them or they realize they're the public faces of open adoptions (on the adoptive parent side). Maybe they fear closing the adoption might cause some girls & women considering open adoptions for their babies to rethink adoption. (Cause we know if they closed the adoption, we'd never hear the end of it from Tyler.)

Edited April 9, 2015 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[ANEUMS]

It made me soooo mad when catelynn trashy horrible mother was in the backseat of the car with them, smoking .. With her pregnant daughter in the car with her. that woman irritates me more than anyone on this show.

[Darknight]

If I recall, it was discussed on TWOP that Bethany Christian (the adoption agency Catelynn used) has frequently come under fire in other cases where they were less than honest/forthcoming with the bio parents about the rules of open adoption, and also making sure the bio moms (and dads) understand their rights. Maybe I dreamt that though.

Like another poster said before, private adoption is a business. It's all about money. The agency sees a product (the baby) and babies are in very high demand. Then services which is to provide a couple with a baby. I think Catelynn and Tyler thought they could do whatever they want, sort of like co parenting but open adopting is basically keeping in contact via pictures every year.

If I recall, it was discussed on TWOP that Bethany Christian (the adoption agency Catelynn used) has frequently come under fire in other cases where they were less than honest/forthcoming with the bio parents about the rules of open adoption, and also making sure the bio moms (and dads) understand their rights. Maybe I dreamt that though.

Like another poster said before, private adoption is a business. It's all about money. The agency sees a product (the baby) and babies are in very high demand. Then services which is to provide a couple with a baby. I think Catelynn and Tyler thought they could do whatever they want, sort of like co parenting but open adopting is basically keeping in contact via pictures every year. If you're don't know what your doing you're especially a target.

[Darknight]

One thing about the whole Carly situation.

She is going to grow up, and at some point, its going to be her choice if she wants contact with her birth parents. BrandonTheresa may be able to control the contact until she is 18, but after that, they lose that option. They may lose the control before then now that the internet and social media are so pervasive. Even if they tried to restrict the use at home, Carly could easily go to a friend's house when she is middle school and start searching. That is the reality of adoption which can be a hard pill for adoptive parents to swallow. There is an illusion of Carly only being "theirs" because of the legal process of adoption. But the truth is that Carly is not 100% theirs. She came from another family. And ultimately its going to be up to her to define who her family is when she is older.

I don't think C&T realized the long-term implications of giving Carly up for adoption, and I can't fault them for their ignorance, as they had no one to tell them the reality of the situation back then. All they had was an adoption broker working for an affluent couple who really wanted a baby.

I would just tell them both to be patient. They are both still young, and will only be in their early 30's when Carly turns 18. I think Tyler needs to focus on that and maybe that will help him cope with his feelings about this situation. He could also use some therapy.

Carly is not 100% there's. C&T are the birth parents. B&T are her parents, the people she calls mom and dad. The people who takes care of her. And some kids won't seek out their birth parents. Some might meet them once and dont want a relationship with them. My son is now 22. I adopted him at 14. He has no desire to look for his birth parents or have a relationship with them. B & T are Carlys family. It's true Carly does have two sets of parents. But B&T are the only family she knows. What if Carly decides not to seek out Catelynn and Tyler? What will they do then? I think only time will tell, but for now Catelynn and Tyler needs to respect Carlys parents Brandon and Theresa wishes. It can do more harm than good if they keep going against the adoptive parents wishes. Just because you give birth to a child doesn't make you a parent. Edited April 9, 2015 by Darknight

[MissMel]

Carly is not 100% there's. C&T are the birth parents. B&T are her parents, the people she calls mom and dad. The people who takes care of her. And some kids won't seek out their birth parents. Some might meet them once and dont want a relationship with them. My son is now 22. I adopted him at 14. He has no desire to look for his birth parents or have a relationship with them. B & T are Carlys family. It's true Carly does have two sets of parents. But B&T are the only family she knows. What if Carly decides not to seek out Catelynn and Tyler? What will they do then? I think only time will tell, but for now Catelynn and Tyler needs to respect Carlys parents Brandon and Theresa wishes. It can do more harm than good if they keep going against the adoptive parents wishes. Just because you give birth to a child doesn't make you a parent.

And this right here is why Tyler needs to STFU and do as he's told. Carly most definitely will have Internet access and cable. She doesn't have to seek out her bio family at all. She can see almost all of them on video for herself without ever speaking a word to them. Cate seems the only one able to understand this.

But if I were Carly? I'd sit back and wait for my 18th birthday and go visit Butch in prison. Just to see the mythical grandpa in person. Anybody else? No need. Google will have them available 24/7.

[ghoulina]

Is it just me or does anyone else find Tyler's interest in children a little unusual? How many young men do you know that are just dying to settle down and have a boatload of kids?

 

It does seem kind of odd, but with Tyler, I don't think it's about the kids themselves. I think he has this strong need to prove that he is not going to be the father Butch was. He wants a do-over of sorts. Tyler pisses me off a lot, and I'm not saying this is a good reason to have a kid, but I get it.

[Tatum]

I remember on the "Being Maci" special that Ryan was trying pretty hard to hook up with her while she was out with her friends.  If I remember correctly, he was dating Dalis at the time as well. He was following her around a club like a freaking puppy dog.  It was messed up.  

 

Yeah, that's what I was getting at- he acts like he hates her now. But when he wants something from her (like, when he's between relationships, or in the Being Maci when he was dating Dalis but she was getting clingy and needy and Ryan started looking to get out of it) he's pretty nice to her. And of course later Maci was sitting on her throne with her flunkies, dissecting his every word and smugly denying her friend's assertion that there was her "proof" that Ryan was still in love with her. I am obviously not in the Maci/Ryan inner circle, but I'd lay good odds on the two of them having had drunken hookups numerous times throughout the last 5 years- particularly when they aren't filming.

 

I finally watched the epsiode last night, and either Ryan is a way bigger asshole that I originally thought, or the editing team is working overtime to make him seem that way. Even before the drop off incident was baffling. Maci calls Ryan and asks where he'd like her to bring Bentley. Ryan says the gas station. Maci says okay. Ryan asks what time, and Maci gives a time. Ryan says okay. Then Ryan turns to Shelby and says, why is she so difficult? WTF? Um, she called to ask you what would be the most convienent way to hand off Bentley. Ryan tells her what he prefers, Maci says okay and tells him what time to meet her. I can't think of anything Maci could have said that would have made her more agreeable than she was on the phone.

 

Also, I am really not liking Ryan's girlfriend smirking every time Ryan goes off on Maci. Hey Shelby, your boyfriend treating his ex and the mother of his child with such disrespect is not a good thing, but you'll figure it out when you're on the receiving end, which you eventually will be.

[Kellyee]

There is nothing about Ryan that I find attractive. That sullen stare does not do it for me, and he honestly doesn't seem all that bright.

 

Catelynn and Tyler are responsible for their decisions, but they had misconceptions about adoption during the 16 and Pregnant episode, and while Dawn never seemed to outright lie, she didn't always correct them, and often let them think something that she knew damn well wasn't reality.

 

Amber is a jerk, but Gary baits her by asking if she can pack her own daughter a lunch for school. He likes to get her worked up, and flirt with her to confuse her and keep her as a backup plan. Gary is a douche. If Leah is getting to bed on time, its because of Gary's girlfriend, if the scenes in the show are anything to go by. How Gary keeps getting a girlfriend is beyond me. Also, I think Gary emphasizing the schedule is more about sticking it to Amber than caring about whether his daughter is getting enough sleep.

[qtpye]

Yeah, that's what I was getting at- he acts like he hates her now. But when he wants something from her (like, when he's between relationships, or in the Being Maci when he was dating Dalis but she was getting clingy and needy and Ryan started looking to get out of it) he's pretty nice to her. And of course later Maci was sitting on her throne with her flunkies, dissecting his every word and smugly denying her friend's assertion that there was her "proof" that Ryan was still in love with her. I am obviously not in the Maci/Ryan inner circle, but I'd lay good odds on the two of them having had drunken hookups numerous times throughout the last 5 years- particularly when they aren't filming.

 

 

Maybe the fact that Maci is pregnant again (and supposedly in a real relationship) and can no longer be Ryan's booty call when his girlfriend is out of town...is the reason he is being so hateful with her?  I know Maci can be annoying, but I really can not understand why Ryan treats her so badly.  She really has not done anything to him to warrant such treatment. 

 

Of course maybe he is just an ass.

 

However, one thing that does confuse me is Ryan's father.  The guy seems totally caring, smart, witty, and a pretty decent person (I do not know him or anything, but can only judge by what I have seen on screen).  Ryan's father is also a little short and stocky, so not as conventionally good looking as Ryan.  It is like Ryan looked at his dad and said I am going be the complete opposite of that guy when I grow up...even more then what Tyler did with Butch.

Edited April 9, 2015 by qtpye

[lezlers]

Re: the way Shelby was smirking every time Ryan was an ass to Maci: I always love when new girlfriends get all uppity and smug with their partner's exes, like they're not going to be treated EXACTLY the same way eventually.  Honey you're not special, you're just there. I've been in child support contempt court for years as a part of my job and can't help but shake my head at all the girlfriends accompanying their boyfriends to their court dates, nodding emphatically when the boyfriend explains that he's not paying his support because the mother of his child is such a bitch and won't let him see the child.  Oh sweetheart, you don't even know. 

[poeticlicensed]

They may lose the control before then now that the internet and social media are so pervasive. Even if they tried to restrict the use at home, Carly could easily go to a friend's house when she is middle school and start searching.  That is the reality of adoption which can be a hard pill for adoptive parents to swallow. There is an illusion of Carly only being "theirs" because of the legal process of adoption. But the truth is that Carly is not 100% theirs. She came from another family. And ultimately its going to be up to her to define who her family is when she is older.

 

But isn't that true of children in general? When they are little you can control their environment. When they get older, you can tell them what you think is best for them, but they are going to try to do what they want anyway. The best you can do with kids, adopted or not, is to give them the skills with which they can navigate life successfully. I have no doubt B&T will do just that. My guess is that when Carly is old enough to understand, they will tell her about the circumstances of her birth and let her decide how much contact she wants to have. I never pegged B&T as being the controlling type. Honestly, I wouldn't want someone posting pics of my babies on the very public fan page Internet either. There are too many creepy-ass people out there. 

[Trampolina]

It made me so sad when Leah said, "I can't be on tv with Kristina" because she knew Amber would probably see it and get upset. Which is true, probably but sad and I wish these adults were much older and/or could process things and be rational about the fact that they have a child together but they shouldn't be romantically together and should just be cordial to the new partners in each others lives for the sake of their kid. It just makes me sad.

 

Out of all the TMS, Maci seems to be the only one with genuine friends and people in her life. I'm not saying they don't use her for her 5 second fame but at least I never see too many new faces, I see her hanging out with most of the same people that date back to her original episode. I believe the girl she was shopping wedding dresses was on the first season of TM, actually. The other girls, I'm not sure. Catelynn (and Tyler, by extension) have that one friend who has been on more than once. Amber has her cousin, who I think we've all kind of figured she might be just around for camera time and she has the producer. And Farrah has always had a revolving door of friendships.  

Unfortunately, I don't think age has a lot to do with it.  My step daughter's mother talks disparagingly about me and calls me names in front of her daughter and this woman is 44.  It kills my step daughter because she is well aware that I am more of a mother to her than her bio mom but is afraid to upset her mom by telling her to stop.  Bitterness often seems to overshadow a child's well being.

[SnarkKitty]

But wait! Even though it's not a surprise, surprised there no comments about Maci's announcement next week!

[Tatum]

Re: the way Shelby was smirking every time Ryan was an ass to Maci: I always love when new girlfriends get all uppity and smug with their partner's exes, like they're not going to be treated EXACTLY the same way eventually.  Honey you're not special, you're just there. I've been in child support contempt court for years as a part of my job and can't help but shake my head at all the girlfriends accompanying their boyfriends to their court dates, nodding emphatically when the boyfriend explains that he's not paying his support because the mother of his child is such a bitch and won't let him see the child.  Oh sweetheart, you don't even know. 

 

That is just maddening. I've seen it in my personal life as well- a girl watches her main squeeze belittle and disrespect his ex (frequently a long time partner and mother of his child/ren) and it seems like all she takes from it is "Tee-hee, he doesn't like her at all. He's all mine!" It's even worse in a case where the girlfriend knows he's not paying child support and doesn't consider this a character flaw. Well, it'll be Shelby's turn soon enough. By the end of his relationship with Dalis, he was as dismissive of her as is towards Maci.

 

I forgot another really annoying thing about the latest episode- when Amber did a voiceover talking about how "annoying" it was that she had to clear it with Gary if she wanted to see Leah. You mean, the guy that is raising your child full time while you were/are in and out of jail and rehab and book tours? And you have to consider Leah's regular schedule and her basic needs (including a good night's sleep) instead of just blowing in and out of her life whenever it fits your schedule? Yeah, how inconvenient. Amber may care about Leah, but she never seems to make Leah's well-being her first priority.

[GreatKazu]

 

It made me so sad when Leah said, "I can't be on tv with Kristina" because she knew Amber would probably see it and get upset. Which is true, probably but sad and I wish these adults were much older and/or could process things and be rational about the fact that they have a child together but they shouldn't be romantically together and should just be cordial to the new partners in each others lives for the sake of their kid. It just makes me sad.

I don't think it has anything to do with age or maturity. Plenty of adults behave in such a manner when it comes to dealing with step-parents, step-kids and such.  Amber, I believe, has misdirected anger. She is mad at Gary for leading her on while she was in prison, but she is taking it out on Gary's girlfriend. She thought Gary was going to wait for her. Upon her release, they were going to get back together and start banging each other again, and get right back to being a "family". 

 

I wish Leah was in therapy because I don't think Amber will take her sobriety seriously nor will she get her fat ass into any sort of meetings or therapy. Just because she is sober, she thinks that all will fall into place magically.

[CourtneyCourt]

But wait! Even though it's not a surprise, surprised there no comments about Maci's announcement next week!

I'm more disgusted about Gary and Kristina's announcement actually. I actually didn't realize she is pregnant. Sigh.

[Emmierose]

Not that I didn't really notice this before, but in this episode Gary's head looks HUGE.  Like fat.  How in the name of all that is holy do you accumulate fat on your HEAD?

 

That is all.

[StatisticalOutlier]

[Maci] probably has it on speaker because MTV requires it while filming.

 

Regardless, it seems to me that she is still choosing to let Bentley hear Ryan calling her names.  She could tell MTV she refuses to expose Bentley to the name calling.  They might fire her, but if it's such a big deal that Bentley hears it, it might be the price she has to pay to protect him.

 

It's probably not fair that she would have to choose between the two, but sometimes them's the breaks.

[MissMel]

Regardless, it seems to me that she is still choosing to let Bentley hear Ryan calling her names.  She could tell MTV she refuses to expose Bentley to the name calling.  They might fire her, but if it's such a big deal that Bentley hears it, it might be the price she has to pay to protect him.

 

It's probably not fair that she would have to choose between the two, but sometimes them's the breaks.

Well, maybe. It's possible that what Ryan says on camera is tame compared to what he says behind closed doors. Maci might know that, it would seem like his dad knows that. His dad was appalled by his attitude in that restaurant scene. He even asked the crew if they "recorded that" and "can you believe it?" and Bentley even asked him why he was shaking. Mimi calmly told her husband to "stop" and gave him one of those glares/looks that says "not now, shut up" that wives are known to do so....

Ryan used to just give off a stoner vibe. His demeanor lately, and everyone around him, suggests there is more than just hitting the bong going on, IMO. I certainly don't know. It just seems that way. Who has a job that you work out of town for, appear on a tv show, and still call your mom for gas money? Things like that make me wonder. Something in the milk ain't clean here.

[wrestlesflamingos]

I don't see drug issues with Ryan. Plenty of grown men lives in their Momma's pockets. He likely sucks with money, doesn't make a ton, and has no clue how to do without.

[Tatum]

I don't see drug issues with Ryan. Plenty of grown men lives in their Momma's pockets. He likely sucks with money, doesn't make a ton, and has no clue how to do without.

 

True enough. And plenty of people will hit up their parents for gas money even if they are gainfully employed and have cash in their wallets. Even if Ryan had thousands of dollars just sitting in a checking account somewhere, he seems like the type to still try and squeeze money out of mom.

[Mischievious]

There have been a lot of comments about Ryan getting money from his Mom. I can't remember them every stating that directly in any of the seasons but particularly this one. Granted I didn't watch the 16 and Pregnant episode. When has this been directly stated he gets money from his mom? I'm just curious. I'm not trying to defend him or anything. Just wanting to fully understand everything. 

[ethalfrida]

Lots of parents/families indulge younger members and their children. My parents, aunts and uncles would always just give us money just because. This continued until they were no longer with us. And now I do it for the kids in the family.  I can't find fault if Ryan gets money from his mom if that is the case. I am not a Ryan sympathizer, just believe in being fair or at least consider more than one option. He is no better or worse than Maci.

[MissMel]

It was in this past episode. His dad and girlfriend were trying to tell him he should speak to Maci like he speaks to his mom when asking for money. Ryan storms off shortly after while his dad and girlfriend have another laugh at his "attitude". (It was a lighthearted scene for everyone but Ryan)