S05.E02: Back To School

[NikSac]

When even your doting parents think you're an ass, you're probably just an ass.

 

Totally agree with this. I would probably blame 'editing' more and try to defend Ryan more, but when even your loving parents seem to be angry about how you're acting, and not only that but they go so far as to talk about it to your ex-girlfriend ON CAMERA... well you put it best, "you're probably just an ass."

[ghoulina]

and I'm not sure I can still say he's a 'bad' dad, after all if he lives with his parents then he isn't actually given a chance to parent.

 

I can't really agree with this. Jen and Larry (is that right?) seem like pretty laid back people to me. I don't think they'd go around overriding Ryan's rules if he was laying any down. They certainly didn't when he insisted Bentley go to Nashville. And, if living with his parents WAS making it hard, why not move out? Ryan is what? Twenty-five now? He has had plenty of time to get his shit together and get his own place. My personal opinion, but I think he likes living there so he can pawn his kid off on his parents and go off with his friends or his current flavor-of-the-month. 

[NikSac]

Wasn't Maci supposed to get her own show

Teen mom is an awesome show to watch with your own teens. See kids this is what happens when you reproduce with a douche bag, you're stuck with him for life

 

Thank you for saying "for life" instead of "til the kid turns 18." 

 

There are ways to live sober without NA/AA. Many people recover without the 12 steps. I don't know if Amber is using any type of ongoing support though and that's the key point we agree on. I do think Amber wants a family but as a child, not really a mother. She wants to be doted on and cared for and doesn't seem keen on doing those actions. She is correct that Leah is better off with Gary and Kristen.

 

Agreed. From personal experience, the hold hands and chant approach - in between randomly putting people on the spot - doesn't necessarily work for everyone. I hope they'll dive more into what is working for her, assuming something is.  If it's NA, great, I know that does work for a lot of people, but if it's something else I'd be interested in hearing more about that too.

[CaughtOnTape]

What's a little telling is how he was pretty demanding that Bentley needs to practice baseball and his dad told him no he doesn't, he just wants to have fun. 

 

This was telling to me but not for the same reasons.  It was telling because Ryan was actually trying to give the kid a bit of structure and get him to practice baseball.  Larry turns around and tells Ryan to back off and let Bentley just be 5.

The first thing that popped into my head was "Maybe if you'd made your kid practice SOMETHING in his whole life he wouldn't be so incredibly disinterested in everyone and everything around him that requires the smallest amount of commitment and dedication."

Sorry, I don't think Maci's a great parent, but I have a friend who's in her same shoes and it's heartbreaking to watch.  She busts her ass for her kids while she has to share custody with a man who dumps his kids off at his mother's house and barely has time to show up for birthday parties.  It's frustrating and heartbreaking to watch because now that her daughter is 7, she's starting to notice and it's upsetting for her.  Maci is clearly over compensating for Ryan's lack of interest but I kind of can't blame her.  Knowing your kid is going to be hurt by someone and not being able to do a thing about it is incredibly frustrating.

[purplemonkey]

I hate the idea of gender reveal parties, but at least this one was modest, in a park with hamburgers. Also, if their friend who was over the day before asked about it, and C&T said they were doing it the next day at the park, wouldn't that friend have been invited already seeing as she is their friend and it was the very next day? Or was that party for family only (plus Dawn, of course)?

I love it when people (Maci) go to therapy because they think it's a license to bitch about other people in their lives. I'm sorry Maci, I can't know how big of a douche Ryan is, because I can't tell if you're just bitching or not. We certainly can't tell from what MTV chooses to show us. Ryan giving his kid the silent treatment? Not ok. Ryan not missing work for Bentley's first day of school? Totally ok. There's your problem.

Also, I am an old fart, but at what age do guys stop wearing those over the top ball caps?

[gunderda]

This was telling to me but not for the same reasons.  It was telling because Ryan was actually trying to give the kid a bit of structure and get him to practice baseball.  Larry turns around and tells Ryan to back off and let Bentley just be 5.

The first thing that popped into my head was "Maybe if you'd made your kid practice SOMETHING in his whole life he wouldn't be so incredibly disinterested in everyone and everything around him that requires the smallest amount of commitment and dedication."

 

But I totally agree with Ryan's dad about this.  Bentley is 5 (or 6) and I won't doubt that he's probably very talented at sports and what not since he was riding a dirt bike at what, 3?? But he's only 5 - at no point at that age does he need to practice outside of an actual scheduled practice with the team. 

[ginger90]

But I totally agree with Ryan's dad about this.  Bentley is 5 (or 6) and I won't doubt that he's probably very talented at sports and what not since he was riding a dirt bike at what, 3?? But he's only 5 - at no point at that age does he need to practice outside of an actual scheduled practice with the team. 

If Ryan wanted to spend time playing baseball with Bentley, why is that a bad thing? I haven't seen the episode yet, perhaps it will be more obvious when I do?.

It would be nice if when another adult disagrees with a parent, they'd wait until the child isn't present to discuss it, imo, unless of course the child is in danger.

[CourtneyCourt]

Good scoop!

Damn Butch, you made me cry! I loved the card and the letter, and cracked up at the Farrah dig. Addiction really sucks.

I didn't see a problem with Tyler being disappointed in the baby being a girl. It's not like he is sad after the baby was born! It's not what you pictured, and that's ok, as long as you get over it. I bet it also was tied into him not wanting to "replace" Carly.

Just not a Maci fan, so trying to not let that color me, but expecting Ryan to take off work was ridiculous. Is this a new thing? I clearly remember my first day of school-my Mom snapped a photo of me getting on the bus and that was it. She wouldn't have expected my Dad to cancel a work trip. Is this a symptom the new every kid gets a trophy world?

I know, what happened to riding the bus? My mom put me on the bus for my first day and that was it. My dad did not take off work I'm sure. My mom probably went in late to work. I see nothing wrong with Ryan having to go to work.

[CaughtOnTape]

If Ryan wanted to spend time playing baseball with Bentley, why is that a bad thing? I haven't seen the episode yet, perhaps it will be more obvious when I do?.

It would be nice if when another adult disagrees with a parent, they'd wait until the child isn't present to discuss it, imo, unless of course the child is in danger.

 

He wasn't really playing with him.  Just instructing him on how to hit or catch.  Larry kept telling Ryan to chill out and let Bentley be 5.  I just thought it was a bit heavy handed of Larry to instantly tell Ryan to chill out.  It didn't seem to me that Ryan was doing anything out of the ordinary and I disagree that 5 is too young to start teaching children that how you get good at something is to practice.....a lot.  It teaches them that you have to work to get things that you want.  Larry needs to choose one, either he wants Ryan to be interested in Bentley (Which he actually was in this scene) or he doesn't.  Don't start picking at Ryan because he doesn't agree with the way Ryan is doing it.  

[lezlers]

It's clear that Ryan's parents are the primary caretakers of Bentley when he's at their house.  Every time Ryan comes into a scene it's like he's just kind of seeing Bentley there for the first time; he clearly hasn't been the one caring for him all day. He's, at most, a resentful older brother, not a father.  I'm not a huge Maci fan, but I get where she's coming from.  Bentley looks uncomfortable around Ryan (probably because he hardly ever sees him) and I'm sure it pisses her off that she is the primary parent 90% of the time while Ryan doesn't do shit even with the very minimal visitation he has. If I were in her position, I'd probably be a little pissy about it, too.

[GreatKazu]

Then she REALLY shouldn't be hanging out with Gary. 

 

 

Seriously, though, the problem with Amber is that it is VERY easy to trigger her. She becomes defensive quite easily. That's why I think it would behoove her to be involved in some sort of therapy or anger management....something ongoing to help her learn to deal with those triggers when they do come up. 

Exactly. Amber is going to have to learn to deal with life's triggers, not just those she had sex with and beat up. If she cannot handle Gary, how the hell is she going to deal with life when it tells her the MTV money is gone? How will she deal with life when she is a 30 years old and has no career and bills to pay? How will she deal with strangers on the street who will bash her for her behavior on this show? Anyone else remember when Amber got into it with some chick at Wal-Mart? I think it got physical. Amber has anger issues. She cannot control how others treat her, but she needs to be in control of her own reactions and behavior.

 

Of course Maci will bitch to the therapist about Ryan. I think it is a good thing because if that therapist is a great therapist, she will teach Maci that there isn't anything Maci can do to change Ryan. After watching a bit of the snippets of the old episodes from the catch-up episode, it is clear Maci's complaints today are the same ones she has had since she was with Ryan. She chose him! She chose to have sex that resulted in a child just as Ryan chose to have sex with her and it resulted in a child. Maci needs to learn that just because people have children, it doesn't always change the person that they are.

 

If there are things that can affect Bentley because of Ryan's behavior (lack of attention, leaving him with mom & dad), the therapist, hopefully, will recognize that and either help Maci with how to deal with that or else refer Maci to put Bentley in therapy later on when he is a bit older and not have it wait until he is a 16 year old kid who is having his own issues because of how his father treats him and how Maci reacts to it. It would be nice if they attended family therapy, but Ryan won't go for it.

 

Maci can be bitchy or pissed off all she wants.  All she is doing is trying to dictate how Ryan should behave, how he should do this and that. Girl, back the fuck off already. Ryan didn't change his ways when you were with him, he is certainly not going to change his ways now. Work on your own damn self and let the chips fall where they may.

 

If Ryan's parents have any problems with how Ryan raises his son or interacts with him, then maybe they need to cut the apron strings and let Ryan be with his child during his visitation.

 

When it comes to these single parents and the visitation, it will almost always seems as if one parent is doing it all while the other is not. It is similar to marriage sometimes. One spouse claims they do a lot more in the relationship or work more than the other. Once Maci stops harping on that, she may find that she won't be as angry and pissed.

[missbonnie]

Wow, all this time and none of these people have changed in the slightest. I guess I shouldn't be surprised but damn, you'd have thought that at least one of these people managed to get their shit together. Apparently not the case.

[nowahuta]

Hey y’all, I’m new here. I’m embarrassed to admit to anyone that I actually watch this show but I cannot deny my guilty pleasure. I can't help it -- the trainwreck aspect of Teen Mom draws me in (I can’t wait for the return of Farrah). Considering this, I warn that my posts may be on the snarkier side but I'm a nice person, I swear! Some ineloquent thoughts on this episode:

 

Maci:

Her storyline has always been the most uninteresting to me and the big "theme" is still the same bitching about Ryan. Next.

 

Amber:

I respect Amber for making the choice to do time in prison and truly believe she did so because she wanted to be a better person and mom. I’m rooting for her, but I don’t think she has changed as much as she believes. She really needs to find something healthy to occupy her time (a job, a hobby, something) and not obsess over Gary. That scene of her looking out of the window was pathetic.

 

I know Amber is no peach, but Gary really sucks and is hyper-manipulative. I feel sorry for his new girlfriend Christina who will have to watch Gary flirting with Amber and asking her “can you really say never?” about the possibility of them getting them back together. Also, the fact that Christina “really helps [him] out” is not the reason he should be having a relationship and child with her. I have to ask: does anybody else feel Christina harbors a certain craziness mixed with low self-esteem and is on teetering on the edge of sanity? On the plus side, she seems like she is good with the kids and I kind of love her poor grammar and overuse of double-negatives.

 

Catelynn and Tyler:

The scene with Butch’s letters from prison was admittedly touching (and funny — "you can’t find a card like that at no Walmart store"). Nick is such a cute kid and strikes me as quite mature and articulate for someone his age.

 

Was Tyler really that out of line with the weight gain comment? It’s clearly a sore spot for Catelynn but I don’t think Tyler brought it up in a particularly hurtful way. Excuse the hyperbole, but I think that while, yes, Tyler will love you even if you were 1,000 pounds, the harsh truth is that he would rather you not be 1,000 pounds. I can totally see Catelynn using her pregnancy as an excuse for her poor eating choices and, as a result, gaining a massive amount of weight that will be very difficult for her to drop. The audience knows from watching past seasons that eating unhealthy food is the norm for her (and Tyler). Remember how it seemed like every episode had a scene of them eating pizza? If she wants to eat whatever she wants whenever she wants, more power to her, but she should at least be honest about why she is doing it.

 

I also didn’t think Tyler was so bad at the reveal piñata party. He was clearly disappointed, but as long as he doesn’t become one of those parents that constantly reminds their kid “I wish you were a boy/girl” then big deal. I also agree with one of the posters earlier that if a kid becomes severely damaged because they know that their dad, before they were born, had originally wanted them to be a boy, then they are really too sensitive. Buck up, yungin’!

 

They’re still too codependent and probably should have broken up ages ago.

Edited April 1, 2015 by nowahuta

[ethalfrida]

Kids will act bratty but it is up to the adults to guide them to proper behavior. Bentley used to be such a cool little kid, not needy or bratty until the day he peed on Maci on purpose and then look directly into the camera. Maci needs to set up boundaries as to what she says in front of the child. You cannot talk badly about a parent to the child without the child picking up on it. In fact I think all of the kids are great with an occasional improper comment or action which is normal.

[ginger90]

These aren't my words but they are good words: Children’s self image comes from both parents. Kids only feel as good about themselves as they do about their parents. To insult their parent is to insult their own DNA.

 

Even though these people aren't divorcing they would be wise to get some good advice given to parents who are divorcing, that applies to them too.

[Howyougetthegirl91]

Tyler and Cate are truly addicted to fame IMHO ; especially Tyler. Everything is magazine spreads , comments , likes etc. Sad. 

[Darknight]

I don't think any of these girls deserve to be on this show. They haven't changed at all. MTV gave them resources to so better but they're not doing any better. I know real life former teen moms and current teen moms and they work their assets off to provide for their kid. They fo to school, work, pay for daycare, and do hw. These girls have the money and resources to go to school, get a job, and do better. But nope they keep getting pregnant or getting others pregnant. Thinking that fame is more important.

[GreatKazu]

 

I also agree with one of the posters earlier that if a kid becomes severely damaged because they know that their dad, before they were born, had originally wanted them to be a boy, then they are really too sensitive. Buck up, yungin’!

If Tyler and Catelyn were two healthy-minded, mature people, who had made proper choices with their education and careers before having a baby, I might agree with you. Except, Tyler treats Catelyn pretty shabby. He has shown an angry side with his pet dogs. I am sure over the years of watching Butch and how he treats the women in his life (domestic violence), Tyler has learned similar behavior. I am just wondering how things really are with Tyler and how he treats Catelyn when the cameras aren't around. Just what he shows on camera is pretty pathetic. He leads Catelyn on with these marriage proposals as if to keep her from breaking apart mentally if he were to tell her he doesn't want to commit to her by way of marriage. He doesn't seem to receptive to what Catelyn feels, only his own feelings. These two have no real jobs, no careers, no education. Their decision-making is similar to tossing a coin in the air.  Now, bring a daughter into that mix and I don't see a healthy outcome. That child may feel as if she was brought into the world to replace Carly. Then, she will see that footage of her dad making those faces. Add all of that into whatever drama she will likely be enduring as she grows up with these two out-of-work people who didn't have the brains to get their lives together. I see Novacaine being Catelyn 2.0  Growing up with two people who will likely become resentful of one another when there is no more MTV money and they have no education or skills to fall back on.  The same way Tyler tries to appease Catelyn so she doesn't lose it mentally, he may end up doing that to his daughter when he really feels stuck to Catelyn and wants to get away from her, but he remains in the relationship because of his daughter.  Novacaine may end up being the next one Tyler treats with disdain. Sure there are men out there who want a boy, end up with a girl, but they forget all about that and end up adoring their daughters no matter what. With Tyler, I can't say the same because of all that I just posted.

 

I don't view it as a child being "too senstive" as much as children who may be affected by things growing up that cause them to have insecure feelings about their own self-worth. Many children of divorced parents have these kind of issues because they sometimes feel they are to blame for the break-up of their parents. Many children may feel sensitive, sure, but it is not something to bat an eye at. Why is the child sensitive to feeling a certain way or to feel as if their parent doesn't want them? Even if that happened before they were born, it can still affect a child. Surely things happen in a home that can lead a child to feel unwanted. They may feel if they had done something different, mom or dad might love them more. Unfortunately, there are parents who do wish they only had a son or a daughter, and they do end up treating the child in a negative way as if it is their fault. Maybe Tyler will adore Novacaine with all his heart and regret feeling the way he did, but who is to say his daughter won't have bad feelings? And if she does, she shouldn't be made to feel she is being sensitive.

 

If my second paragraph makes no sense, I apologize. I had a very, very long and tiring day. lol

Edited April 2, 2015 by GreatKazu

[MissMel]

Haha! No keep the family trend. Darryl, Darrell, Dale L, whatever. Then just call the child Butch.

All the bases are covered. (I think)

[missy jo]

Part of me wants to give Ryan the benefit of the doubt and consider that his IDGAF attitude is just a defense mechanism.  In the restaurant scene, I though maybe Ryan actually was hurt by Bentley's statement but didn't feel comfortable expressing it, so he brushed it off and stormed out instead.  Jen and Larry's reactions made me think that I'm giving Ryan too much credit though and that he doesn't have some secret sensitive soul.  When even your doting parents think you're an ass, you're probably just an ass.

 

 

I saw it as a defense mechanism, and Ryan's parents' reaction came off more as "Oh God, now this is going to be on the show ..."

 

During these first two episodes, Ryan has been shown to be spending time with Bentley. At the house, he asked Bentley to play catch, but Bentley wanted to keep riding the bike. So be it.

 

Meanwhile, Maci is bordering on parental alienation with her comments. Ryan isn't an absentee parent, and planting the idea in Bentley that his father isn't there for him creates a problem where there would not otherwise be one.

 

Amber is by far the worst and most selfish of the parents, IMO. And Gary's friend asking him about the tickling, "Was it just one finger or in the pit" is hands-down one of the grossest things I've ever heard on TV.

 

ETA: Forgot to add how messed up it is that Catelynn and Tyler's main concerns in life are magazine spreads, the press, timing their social media posts and comparing their "Likes." Guys, you're at about the 12th minute of your 15 minutes of fame, so enjoy it while it lasts, and perhaps work on a Plan B for the next phase of your lives.

Edited April 2, 2015 by missy jo

[NikSac]

ETA: Forgot to add how messed up it is that Catelynn and Tyler's main concerns in life are magazine spreads, the press, timing their social media posts and comparing their "Likes." Guys, you're at about the 12th minute of your 15 minutes of fame, so enjoy it while it lasts, and perhaps work on a Plan B for the next phase of your lives.

 

I completely agree and it freaks me out that they're probably going to see your post and spin it. It's the same thing that freaks me out when I post about those two.

[MissMel]

I'm a pre-kindergarten teacher and I am astonished as to how many of you cry when you leave your children with the likes of me on the first day of school! You guys sure do put on a brave face while still in the classroom. Who knew you break down in the parking lot?! Does it make you feel better to know that your child REALLY IS fine within 5 minutes after you leave?

I never experienced this with my own children because they attended the school where i teach and so i knew they were just down the hall. However, i do miss my son now that he's moved on to middle school.

I'll leave my comment in the "small talk" thread. :)

[lezlers]

 

 

Amber:

I respect Amber for making the choice to do time in prison and truly believe she did so because she wanted to be a better person and mom. I’m rooting for her, but I don’t think she has changed as much as she believes. She really needs to find something healthy to occupy her time (a job, a hobby, something) and not obsess over Gary. That scene of her looking out of the window was pathetic.

 

 

 

 

Wait, what?  Amber went to prison because she didn't want to go to rehab and stay on probation.  How was that choice made so that she "could be a better mother?" Consciously choosing to NOT better oneself does not make you a better person and mother. It makes you childish and stubborn. Whenever I have a client who elects not to go to rehab and just do time instead, I always know they're not yet done with their addiction.  Amber is no different, it's just a matter of time.  Better person and mom, indeed. 

[SnarkKitty]

 

He wasn't really playing with him.  Just instructing him on how to hit or catch.  Larry kept telling Ryan to chill out and let Bentley be 5.  I just thought it was a bit heavy handed of Larry to instantly tell Ryan to chill out.  It didn't seem to me that Ryan was doing anything out of the ordinary and I disagree that 5 is too young to start teaching children that how you get good at something is to practice.....a lot.  It teaches them that you have to work to get things that you want.  Larry needs to choose one, either he wants Ryan to be interested in Bentley (Which he actually was in this scene) or he doesn't.  Don't start picking at Ryan because he doesn't agree with the way Ryan is doing it.

 

I think Larry is just over the charade, and was irked that Ryan hadn't even been around but showed up and immediately started trying to tell Bentley to do something other than what he was doing. I think they covered and picked up the slack for years, figuring Ryan needed a few years to mature but that he would come around, but hasn't and Bentley is vocal enough that they know he notices. I think he commented that he never gets to talk to Ryan unless it's on camera is indicative that Ryan doesn't want to hear their mouths the same way he doesn't want to hear Maci. The fact that Bentley goes to his grandparents first, and resents doing what his father says is evidence enough as to who is doing the parenting over there. Doesn't matter who you live with.

 

An example - when I had my first son, my husband was in the military and I didn't want to live alone, so I lived at my mother's, with siblings to help out. As he got older, he definitely had lots of attention and people to "run to." And of course my mother didn't spare her opinions on my child. But *I* was the parent, and that was clear. I wasn't a drop-in big sister. He knew who his parent was because I did the raising. And I was 18-21 during those years. Not 25.

 

That said, it sucks for Bentley, but Jen and ... Ryan's dad - you reap what you sow. You raised that lackadaisical man-child. And now you're raising his son.

[gunderda]

If Ryan wanted to spend time playing baseball with Bentley, why is that a bad thing? I haven't seen the episode yet, perhaps it will be more obvious when I do?.

It would be nice if when another adult disagrees with a parent, they'd wait until the child isn't present to discuss it, imo, unless of course the child is in danger.

It wasn't ryan wanting to play with him, ryan was demanding that Bentley get off his bike and practice.  It was more his tone than anything. 

[ethalfrida]

If Sir Bentley was learning to play the guitar complete with instructor who asked that time be set aside for him to practice and Ryan showed up and said it was time to practice , to me it is the same thing. I note that The Bent often declares what he isn't or doesn't want to do. I think Ryan is right to keep his authority up front. Bentley is turning into a whiny little piece of work just like his mom.

[aurora296]

Where can I watch this Aftershow? When did they air it? Will they have an Aftershow for every episode?

 

Also want to add, this show now has their own built in Panda Face with that annoying producer holding that clap board thingie and looking at Amber like, "oh poor you!" She's got the sympathetic Panda face look down pat. 

 

I won't give Ryan any excuses. I'm tired of his pissy, pinched up face. If you hate the cameras so much, then walk away from the show. Simple as that. MTV can figure a way to film around you. If Bentley did in fact whisper to Grandpa Larry that his real home is at his moms, it may be his 5 year old way of saying, he wishes he felt as close to dad as he does to Mom. Pinched up Ryan takes it completely wrong and acts like hugging his little sons is the biggest pain in the ass. Plus, it seemed like Bentley was kind of scared and uncomfortable around Ryan.

 

Is Ryan an only child? I think his parents may have coddled him and never punished him as a kid when he got lippy. That's why I make sure to discipline my cute little boy when he gets mouthy and disrespectful, because it's not so cute when they grow up to be that way and by then it's too late to fix it. 

 

At least Ryan's parents seem like good grandparents. There will come a day, 10-20 years from now, when Ryan sees those clips of him constantly looking like he's constipated and he will be throughly embarrassed. These Teen Mom videos will never go away and will haunt him later in life. He will see why his now grown son doesn't ever want to see him. 

 

If I was Kristina's ex-husband, I wouldn't want my kid on TV either. Good on him. 

Edited April 2, 2015 by aurora296

[Kellyee]

After watching this episode, all I want to know is how much of a reduction in child support Ryan got for allowing Bently to appear on the show. That's the only reason he would have signed the consent form, along with getting some extra money for himself. And you could tell Ryan's mom was against the idea.

 

Maybe Catelynn and Tyler can get married and go on Celebrity Marriage Bootcamp. Since they're having yet another baby with no obvious job skills besides reality personality. Have they learned nothing from Jon Gosselin??

[wrestlesflamingos]

Ryan is an only child.

[CaughtOnTape]

Meanwhile, Maci is bordering on parental alienation with her comments. Ryan isn't an absentee parent, and planting the idea in Bentley that his father isn't there for him creates a problem where there would not otherwise be one.

 

I think the fact that his father was ready to blow through the roof when he left the restaurant and the half-assed hug he gave Bentley when he left pretty much negate this.  He most definitely is.  

Granted we only get a small look into their lives but Larry is there for everything....and he was about to lose his shit.  That, right there, is proof positive that Maci is correct when she tags him for not being around for his son.

[lezlers]

Ryan is an only child.

Shocking.

I think the fact that his father was ready to blow through the roof when he left the restaurant and the half-assed hug he gave Bentley when he left pretty much negate this.  He most definitely is.  

Granted we only get a small look into their lives but Larry is there for everything....and he was about to lose his shit.  That, right there, is proof positive that Maci is correct when she tags him for not being around for his son.

 

I totally agree with this.  Larry's reaction told me everything I need to know about their relationship (between him and his parents as well as him and Bentley.) That was not staged.  That was a 100% real, raw reaction of someone who is clearly at the end of his rope.

[Lemons]

While I do think Ryan was an ass at the restaurant scene. Which may, or may not, be due to editing or dislike of the cameras.  His not going to Bentley's first day of school is not something to make into a huge deal, especially for Bentley. I did not get to go to my son's first day of school, or his Kindergarten 'graduation'. Neither do the vast majority of working parents. Sorry, but Maci is making a mountain out of a molehill, AGAIN.

 

 

So dramatic over nothing!  Kindergarten is a continuation of preschool for Bentley, not a big deal.  Sobbing?  Really?  How about feeling happy for Bentley and excited for his year at kindergarten?  She is ridiculous.  Most kids just get on the bus with 1 parent, or maybe a babysitter to see them off. 

 

If that's all she has to share with a therapist, she has no complaints in life.  Pretty lucky.

[missy jo]

,

I completely agree and it freaks me out that they're probably going to see your post and spin it.

 

 

Nooo ... please! You're probably right - they seem to be reading everything that is written about them.

 

I feel icky coming off as a "Ryan apologist" - it's just that so many kids grow up entirely without fathers, and I don't see Bentley as near to being in that category, despite Maci's claims. Ryan's parents take a big role, and that can be interpreted a number of ways, but hopefully in the long run, it will be good for Bentley to have these close relationships with extended family, the more the merrier.

Edited April 2, 2015 by missy jo

[ghoulina]

f Bentley did in fact whisper to Grandpa Larry that his real home is at his moms, it may be his 5 year old way of saying, he wishes he felt as close to dad as he does to Mom. Pinched up Ryan takes it completely wrong and acts like hugging his little sons is the biggest pain in the ass.

 

Yes! Bentley if five. They're not the most articulate at that age. I felt so heartbroken for him in that scene, because I thought he was trying to convey how he was feeling, but was having a hard time putting it into words. And instead of Ryan trying to talk to him and suss out where this was coming from, he just acted like a pouty 5-year-old himself, stormed off with barely a glance at his poor son. 

 

I feel icky coming off as a "Ryan apologist" - it's just that so many kids grow up entirely without fathers, and I don't see Bentley as near to being in that category, despite Maci's claims. Ryan's parents take a big role, and that can be interpreted a number of ways, but hopefully in the long run, it will be good for Bentley to have these close relationships with extended family, the more the merrier.

 

I think Ryan is a giant arse and most definitely does not spend much time with his son and/or treat him well.....but, I don't think that means that Bentley is going to be scarred for life. Luckily, he DOES have a lot of other love in his life. There's a good chance he will end up a bit bitter and distant from his father, but overall fine. 

[Drapers4thWife]

 

If Sir Bentley was learning to play the guitar complete with instructor who asked that time be set aside for him to practice and Ryan showed up and said it was time to practice , to me it is the same thing.

If they want Bentley to learn structured sports, then they can sign him up for a peewee league or rec center or something like that. Have a set time where Bentley can go, be supervised and learn how to interact with a team, basic techniques, safety, etc. in a structured environment. But Ryan is not a teacher and this wasn't structured practice time. This was a clearly bored Ryan who happened to go outside and sit in the lawn chair where his dad had been supervising Bentley doing another activity (riding his bike), and suddenly decided that Bentley should stop doing that and do what Ryan wanted him to do.

 

To whoever said Ryan's just a jealous older brother, that's exactly it. Going back to Teen Mom, Ryan has pawned off the actual parenting duties on his parents and whatever girlfriends he had at the moment. When he interacts with Bentley now, there's no apparent joy in it. Ryan always seems short-tempered and resentful and wants to dictate to Bentley. He doesn't seem to listen to Bentley at all, and even supposed fun time (like playing catch) doesn't look like fun at all, because it has to be done only when Ryan wants to do it, how Ryan wants to do it, etc. I like Ryan's parents and they seem like good grandparents, but his mother comes across as the pushover of the century. She seems almost scared to confront Ryan about anything, and it's clear he's spent his entire life doing whatever he wants and getting whatever he wants (which I'm sure is why he hasn't moved out of his parents' house after all this time). Like last week, when Maci asked for tips after communicating with Ryan, and his mom's big idea was to send him an email (he seems like such a man of letters, that Ryan). Ryan's been shielded from the nitty-gritty of parenting and Bentley is like the kid brother Ryan occasionally sees, then leaves when he gets bored.

 

As for Amber, she needs to realize how lucky she is. Most people who are just out of prison for abusing their kid and who've lost custody of their kid struggle for any contact with their child; they don't get said ex giving them basically carte blanche access to their kid. Kristina seems like a decent person and she's basically been Leah's stepmom, and Leah clearly likes her. Amber should have met and been gracious to her, especially as she's lucky Gary included her in things like school shopping and the first day of school at all. 

[nowahuta]

Wait, what?  Amber went to prison because she didn't want to go to rehab and stay on probation.  How was that choice made so that she "could be a better mother?" Consciously choosing to NOT better oneself does not make you a better person and mother. It makes you childish and stubborn. Whenever I have a client who elects not to go to rehab and just do time instead, I always know they're not yet done with their addiction.  Amber is no different, it's just a matter of time.  Better person and mom, indeed. 

I did not mean to imply her going to jail actually makes her a better person and mother, only that I think she truly wants to be, and in her mind she'd be more likely to better herself in jail than in rehab. In this way, I think Amber "consciously chose" to better herself by choosing jail. As cynical as I am, I don't believe she chose jail so that she wouldn't have to be on probation and could then return to drugs once released (that kind of rationale reminds me more of Jenelle). I also don't think rehab would have been the more mature or "better" option for Amber. Didn't she say on her jail special that even when she went to rehab that she was still doing drugs by means of chewing on patches?

 

And you're right, Amber is stubborn, childish, and probably not done with her addiction. I just think it would probably be the same story even if she went the rehab route.

Edited April 2, 2015 by nowahuta

[SnarkKitty]

She says it was to get it over with, then says it was for the best. Make of it what you will: http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/teen_mom_amber_portwood_i_chose_prison_over_rehab_to_make_the_best_out_of_the_situation-2012-06

[Maharincess]

I think the fact that his father was ready to blow through the roof when he left the restaurant and the half-assed hug he gave Bentley when he left pretty much negate this. He most definitely is.

Granted we only get a small look into their lives but Larry is there for everything....and he was about to lose his shit. That, right there, is proof positive that Maci is correct when she tags him for not being around for his son.

This and I've never in my life seen a parent that needed to be told to hug their own child. If Ryan hadn't been told to hug Bentley he would have walked out without a word to his son.

I think Larry said everything we need to know when he said they only see Ryan during filming. He doesn't come around to see his son, he comes around for a paycheck.

I never thought it was solely about Ryan not physically being there on Bentley's first day of shcool it was that he couldn't even pretend to give a shit about it.

Lemons...I wouldn't call another parent ridiculous for feeling emotional over their child. To you its "nothing" but just because its nothing to you doesn't mean its not important to other people.

Edited April 2, 2015 by Maharincess

[configdotsys]

I think the fact that his father was ready to blow through the roof when he left the restaurant and the half-assed hug he gave Bentley when he left pretty much negate this.  He most definitely is.  

Granted we only get a small look into their lives but Larry is there for everything....and he was about to lose his shit.  That, right there, is proof positive that Maci is correct when she tags him for not being around for his son.

 

 

Shocking.

 

I totally agree with this.  Larry's reaction told me everything I need to know about their relationship (between him and his parents as well as him and Bentley.) That was not staged.  That was a 100% real, raw reaction of someone who is clearly at the end of his rope.

Bentley looked bewildered in the restaurant as Ryan told him he'll hate school. Even his mother is giggling when she says "Don't say that..." Giggling? Seriously?

 

I rewound it but can't figure out what Bentley is saying but when Ryan leaves the restaurant, Bentley says something like "OK go," and claps as Ryan leaves. Then Mommy gets pissed off at her husband, glares at him and says "Stop" in the way that you would speak to a child. That was all about either: "Don't embarrass my baby boy," or "Please don't say anything that will piss our baby son off because then he'll be mad at meeeeeeeeee!" How asinine, not to mention insulting to her own husband.

[ghoulina]

Lemons...I wouldn't call another parent ridiculous for feeling emotional over their child. To you its "nothing" but just because its nothing to you doesn't mean its not important to other people.

 

Agreed. And, while there is nothing wrong with feeling sad about it, many people cry out of happiness, pride, etc. as well. 

 

Then Mommy gets pissed off at her husband, glares at him and says "Stop" in the way that you would speak to a child. That was all about either: "Don't embarrass my baby boy," or "Please don't say anything that will piss our baby son off because then he'll be mad at meeeeeeeeee!" How asinine, not to mention insulting to her own husband.

 

I didn't take like either of those. I figured Jen just didn't want to see Lary blow his top and embarrass himself. She seems like a nice enough lady, but very concerned with appearances. There is probably a lot of underlying dysfunction with Ryan, but I bet she would prefer not to air it on tv. 

[configdotsys]

I didn't take like either of those. I figured Jen just didn't want to see Lary blow his top and embarrass himself. She seems like a nice enough lady, but very concerned with appearances. There is probably a lot of underlying dysfunction with Ryan, but I bet she would prefer not to air it on tv. 

I think this is probably a lot of it. But I just can't deal with that from people who have signed on the dotted line to be on a TV show. She looks like an ass to me with her blind defense of Ryan. I don't get any sort of vibe that she does this in private either. We've seen her try to engage him in a conversation about things like that and immediately tear up when he begins to get defensive. It's just very weird to me.

 

The father being ready to explode speaks volumes. It takes a long time to get to that point if you are not a powder keg to begin with and Ryan's father never struck me that way.

[qtpye]

To whoever said Ryan's just a jealous older brother, that's exactly it. Going back to Teen Mom, Ryan has pawned off the actual parenting duties on his parents and whatever girlfriends he had at the moment. When he interacts with Bentley now, there's no apparent joy in it. Ryan always seems short-tempered and resentful and wants to dictate to Bentley. He doesn't seem to listen to Bentley at all, and even supposed fun time (like playing catch) doesn't look like fun at all, because it has to be done only when Ryan wants to do it, how Ryan wants to do it, etc. I like Ryan's parents and they seem like good grandparents, but his mother comes across as the pushover of the century. She seems almost scared to confront Ryan about anything, and it's clear he's spent his entire life doing whatever he wants and getting whatever he wants (which I'm sure is why he hasn't moved out of his parents' house after all this time). Like last week, when Maci asked for tips after communicating with Ryan, and his mom's big idea was to send him an email (he seems like such a man of letters, that Ryan). Ryan's been shielded from the nitty-gritty of parenting and Bentley is like the kid brother Ryan occasionally sees, then leaves when he gets bored.

 

 

I feel that Ryan resents Bentley, because he is a ball and chain that directly ties him to Maci.  I always got the feeling Ryan hates Maci and really wanted to hit and  quit it.  Well Ryan, it is not Bentley's fault that you were too stupid to use birth control and now you are going to be linked to a woman you detest for the rest of your life.  I also think Ryan gets away with a lot because he is good looking.  However, I feel sorry for him when his looks go downhill...he does not have a sparkling personality to fall back on.

 

I heard that Maci was a virgin when she started to sleep with Ryan.  I bet you Ryan is one of those idiots who thinks if he sleeps with a virgin, she can not get pregnant.

 

I really do not care how Ryan feels about Maci, but he owes it to his son to not be a neglectful parent.

 

I wonder why he does not move out of his parents house?  I also wonder why his parents do not set tougher boundaries on him.  Are they really going to be taking care of a 16 year old Bentley while a 36 year old Ryan comes in and out whenever he wants?

 

However, I was not too horrified at Ryan missing the first day of Kindergarten for work.  I was actually happy and relieved that he had gainful employment.

Edited April 2, 2015 by qtpye

[NikSac]

I'm a pre-kindergarten teacher and I am astonished as to how many of you cry when you leave your children with the likes of me on the first day of school! You guys sure do put on a brave face while still in the classroom. Who knew you break down in the parking lot?! Does it make you feel better to know that your child REALLY IS fine within 5 minutes after you leave?

 

I know this sounds like the world's worst breakup line but... its not you, it's them! And the emotions of the day. Happy, sad, just plain overwhelming. I bet the parking lot security people (if you have them) probably have some crazy stories about crying parents.

[SinInTheCamp]

 

 

If they want Bentley to learn structured sports, then they can sign him up for a peewee league or rec center or something like that. Have a set time where Bentley can go, be supervised and learn how to interact with a team, basic techniques, safety, etc. in a structured environment. But Ryan is not a teacher and this wasn't structured practice time. This was a clearly bored Ryan who happened to go outside and sit in the lawn chair where his dad had been supervising Bentley doing another activity (riding his bike), and suddenly decided that Bentley should stop doing that and do what Ryan wanted him to do.

As for Amber, she needs to realize how lucky she is. Most people who are just out of prison for abusing their kid and who've lost custody of their kid struggle for any contact with their child; they don't get said ex giving them basically carte blanche access to their kid. Kristina seems like a decent person and she's basically been Leah's stepmom, and Leah clearly likes her. Amber should have met and been gracious to her, especially as she's lucky Gary included her in things like school shopping and the first day of school at all.

 

I don't know about this first paragraph...I took piano lessons as a kid, and while I went to formal, structured lessons once or twice a week, I was also expected to practice at home. And lots of times, my folks demanded that I practice at (seemingly) arbitrary times, depending on their mood or if they remembered that I needed to practice, or something. I don't think there's anything wrong with parental demands trumping what the child is doing or feels like doing, either.

 

I do agree with your comments about Amber and Kristina. On my daughter's first day of kindergarten, her stepmother and I both went to the school to see her off. I've always been friendly with her and grateful that she loves and cares about my daughter. That's always the best way to approach the issue of step-parenting.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

I now hate that I defended Ryan after last week's episode on that episode's thread.

Ugh, Ryan. You're making me side with Maci. (Although I still wish Maci would realize she cannot change Ryan & as a TV viewer I'm bored with her having the same complaints & wanting to have the same fights with him for five-six seasons.)

Ryan's only redeeming quality for me (as TV viewer) is I think he's nice to look at. If I actually had to deal with him in real life, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be redeeming enough to make up for what a douche he is.

I was so happy that my boy Butch made an "appearance" (well, called in)! Again, nice for me as a viewer. But a sad situation for Butch's kids and Nick. :(

[GreatKazu]

After watching this episode, all I want to know is how much of a reduction in child support Ryan got for allowing Bently to appear on the show. That's the only reason he would have signed the consent form, along with getting some extra money for himself. And you could tell Ryan's mom was against the idea.

 

Maybe Catelynn and Tyler can get married and go on Celebrity Marriage Bootcamp. Since they're having yet another baby with no obvious job skills besides reality personality. Have they learned nothing from Jon Gosselin??

I am confused with the comment in bold. What does child support have to do with Bentley being on the show? Child support is based upon the incomes of both parents, who pays for the health insurance coverage for the child, and how much each parent has the child in their custody. If Ryan earns money from MTV, he is likely paying a bit more in child support to Maci. If he was NOT on the show, he would pay less to Maci.

 

To the pre-k teacher above - I cried on the first day of my oldest child's first day of kindergarten. Not because I had horrifying thoughts of the school or teacher. I didn't fear for my child. I cried because I had my oldest with me 24/7 since their birth. I felt a bit of sadness at the idea that my child wouldn't be there in the morning with me. Our morning play time during the week was no longer going to happen. Laying next to my child during nap time was gone. Basically, I was going to miss my child. Nothing wrong with having those feelings.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Another thought:

I feel like The Original Teen Moms' relationships are all cautionary tales (since Derek is dead I'm ignoring him here):

Gary- manipulative douche

Tyler- controlling douche

Ryan- (hot) man-child douche

I feel like the take away is if you have a baby with a man who isn't ready/is too young/isn't into you/hasn't sorted his own shit out, you end up with a douche as your baby daddy. At least that's what I'd be trying to impress upon my teen daughter (if I had one and we watched the show together).

Of course some guys like Corey and maybe Jo from TM2 might negate this, but Adam and Andrew are certainly also douches.

Edited April 2, 2015 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[KYBlonde]

In regards to Ryan's parents, I see a lot of my oldest nephew and his wife in them.  The nephew in question is my much older sister's son, and he knocked up a 15 year old when he was a senior in high school.  That child, a son, not surprisingly did the same thing.  My nephew and his wife have overcome the odds and are still together and probably always will be.  The grand daughter they now have is like the little girl they never had and they totally dote on her and do not expect my nephew (who, like Ryan, never married his daughter's mother) to take on a lot of responsibility for her.  My nephew lives with his parents (he is also an only child) just like Ryan, and his parents take on 99% of her care and expenses for their grand child. There are pictures of the little girl's 3rd birthday party all over their Facebook and they 100% paid for everything.  They truly consider that little girl as theirs.  I think Ryan's parents see Bentley the same way. Grand parents raising grand children is way too common these days and I think it's not fair. 

[Lemons]

Lemons...I wouldn't call another parent ridiculous for feeling emotional over their child. To you its "nothing" but just because its nothing to you doesn't mean its not important to other people.

 

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said "nothing."   But her child transferred from preschool to kindergarten and Maci appeared to be overly dramatic for the cameras.  And her need to continue on and see a therapist regarding the "big day" and Ryan missing it, was, in my opinion, over the top.  She needs to have some perspective.  Maybe think about the parents whose children won't make it to kindergarten.  That might help.

[GreatKazu]

Hopefully Maci is seeing the therapist for more reasons than just the first day of kindergarten blues. It was the topic of discussion for that scene in therapy, but hopefully there are other matters being touched upon. At least she is in therapy, I will give her props for that regardless of her motives. The rest of the cast could use some therapy.