Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Zahdii]

You never know, he may send you back a photo of himself half naked on a velvet couch ala George Costanza. Or, just send you a bunch of chick tracts decrying the sins of the flesh.

 

Pretty sure you'd get the chick tracts, although I bet he'd also keep the original photo for him to 'pray' over privately later.

[Joe Jitsu913]

Typically if you are from North America, you use "gotten" as the past participle of "get."

I'm from New England and this is a common word here.

[maraleia]

Hey guys can we table the gotten discussion? It's annoying to see one's word choice be parsed to death when in fact the word choice was correct. Thanks!

[Potato511]

You can support Cynthia Jeub with a monthly contribution of any amount, toward her writing and eventually a book about her life in a reality-TV fundie family and the behind-the-scenes abuse she endured. I really enjoy her blog and writing. Here is the link:

 

http://www.patreon.com/cynthiajeub?rf=586834

 

My penance for watching 19kac! lol...

 

 

[Barb23]

I just finished this week's Bates episode where Michael's boyfriend Brandon visits the Bates for 2 weeks to get to know the family better. I know I keep saying it, but what a difference between the Bates & Duggars. I think the main difference is the Bates don't give off the "we are better than you" & "our way is the right way" attitudes. It shows that Gil & Kelly are the parents & not checked out like MEchelle. When the older boys took Brandon out, it didn't come across as "is he good enough to be a Bates?" like Boob & Doofus did with Derick & Ben. They just kidded with him about his further intentions with Michael like normal loving brothers do. Laughter & the normal brother/sister joking run freely in the Bates family. I did think it was funny on the previews, the Bates visit the grandparents. It looks like they are decorating & one of the older girls is standing on a table hanging something. You can hear the grandmother yelling something like "get down, stop standing on the table." She would have a coronary if she saw the Duggar kids walking on the counters & furniture.

[Ljohnson1987]

Erin is announcing the gender of baby paine on Thursday's show. Why do they think that everything must be done on TV?

[BradandJanet]

OMG- have not seen their show and such but watched a pathetic youtube video.  Makes my skin crawl when I see the Dad.  The children all look malnourished.  The singing is nothing more than something you find at a southern pentecostal church on Sunday morning.  Nothing special.   Geez!  I'm in the wrong business.  Need to create my own church and bogus not for profit church business.   I wonder what would happen if I sent a really sexy photo of a woman to the father for a printing job.  Think he would take it?

I posted on the Batses' page about the Rodrigues family. A visit to their website made my skin crawl too. The kids could get acting jobs as detention camp survivors. The creepy-looking dad, the hotshot, however, has a big gut and probably a fat ass too. It's clear where the food money is going. Mom's not thin either, but spends her time being pregnant so I guess she gets to eat daily. I'd be careful about sending their "printing ministry" a sexy photo. Dad will probably beat one of the kids to purge his own evil thoughts. These people don't really have a show, do they?

[Absolom]

The Bates and Paine families probably don't think everything has to be done on a TV show, but the production company probably does as they are after ever bit of drama that they can film.

[Fuzzysox]

No one has mentioned that Josiah and Nathan and Lawson Bates are on a month long mission trip the Philippines. (which is a Catholic country)

 

http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2015/02/1-duggar-2-bates-leave-for-philippines.html

[Barb23]

I forgot to add to my previous post how mature Michaela Bates acted around Brandon in comparison to Jilly Muffin & Derick the Wonderful and even Erin & Chad. Michaela did say her & Brandon had known each other for years thru the homeschool network & I know everyone has a different personality so that may have attributed to her(their) maturity. No giggling acting like a 14 yr old for her & I'm sure Brandon is her first boyfriend. No sugary "Aww, you're so sweeeet" comments coming from their mouths. They said that they are each other's best friends & it shows. IMO, they are mature young adults & I wish them well in their future together.

[Wellfleet]

Erin is announcing the gender of baby paine on Thursday's show. Why do they think that everything must be done on TV?

 

You already know this I'm sure, but probably because they make money doing it that way...

[awaken]

Oh my, I did not know about the Rodrigues family until reading this thread.  Their website makes me sad.  How old is the oldest girl?

 

From growing up in the fundy world, I can say that it is common for adults or families who have it laid on their hearts to pursue full time ministry to travel around and expect to be supported by the other christians they visit, and leave it in God's hands as to what they're provided as far as food, lodging, etc. as they say it would have been done in New Testament times.   

[Sew Sumi]

Erin is announcing the gender of baby paine on Thursday's show. Why do they think that everything must be done on TV?

 

I find it interesting that she had to be asked before it became known that would happen next week. So, while it's a money-grubbing move on the part of the Bateseseses, they still haven't mastered PR (aside from Lawson, who is posting like gangbusters from the Philippines). 

 

And speaking of the mission trip: STOP POSING WITH THE NATIVES! They really don't like you; they're using you for medical services, and will revert to the ebil Catholicism after you leave! 

[Skittl1321]

By natives, do you mean locals?

[Zahdii]

By natives, do you mean locals?

 

Yes, but I believe the poster was only referring to the local population by the term 'native', because while Shrader may not call them that in his writings and videos, he most definitely sees himself as the Great White Man here to bring salvation to the heathen natives.  He's constantly wearing a safari hat and in one horrific video he posted, he was talking with a fake local accent, perhaps trying to show how immersed he is(n't) with the very people he's supposed to be converting.  It's good to see that so many of his backing churches have dropped him, including his sending church, that his father has had to step forward and make his own church the new sending church.  Too bad his biggest concern is that his new full sized refrigerator doesn't have an ice maker.

[msblossom]

Yes, but I believe the poster was only referring to the local population by the term 'native', because while Shrader may not call them that in his writings and videos, he most definitely sees himself as the Great White Man here to bring salvation to the heathen natives.  He's constantly wearing a safari hat and in one horrific video he posted, he was talking with a fake local accent, perhaps trying to show how immersed he is(n't) with the very people he's supposed to be converting.  It's good to see that so many of his backing churches have dropped him, including his sending church, that his father has had to step forward and make his own church the new sending church.  Too bad his biggest concern is that his new full sized refrigerator doesn't have an ice maker.

Oh wow, that is just...ick. And archaic.

Good missionaries don't see themselves as being above the wonderful people they are sent to. And the term "native" -- what century is he living in?

I wish the church would ditch the term "short term mission trips". People sent out on these trips consisting of less than a couple years aren't really missionaries and often do more harm than good. It takes about 6 months to get past the "honeymoon" stage of missions. And one can't really immerse themself in the community until they've learned the language which generally takes 2 years -- and that's at a level of language study where you are just able to speak fluently but certainly not able to fully engage and grasp and communicate difficult concepts. One does not engage in missions to change the culture of the people group either, but to embrace it and be wise about communicating the gospel and empower the local community to lead the church themself as soon as possible, and in effect work yourself out of a job and take the role of advisor rather than leader before moving onto the next mission.

[GEML]

And just because X place is a Catholic country doesn't mean there isn't a substantial Protestant number of churches already established. For instance, just because the American South is predominantly Baptist, I don't think anyone bats an eye when they meet someone Catholic. We know from the news that there are substantial numbers of Christians living in Muslim countries, just as there are religions of all sorts living in Europe, although those are all Christian. This idea that because a country has a state religion means all people within it are devout and devoted followers of that religion is a really simplistic and rather Americanized notion of international relations.

[Absolom]

I loathe the entire concept of converting Christians to "our" brand of Christianity.  They need to leave people be especially the John Shraders of the world.  I think his brand of Christianity is one only a tiny group follows.  He's a super extremist.

[truthtalk2014]

Sorry but this trip reminds me of the trip Christopher Columbus took to the "new world" when HE discovered (haha) a new land- although we had fully functioning wonderful tribes of Native Americans that didn't need their BS religion.  The newcomers are the ones that needed what they (the Native Americans) had to offer.

 

Shame shame.  

[Ljohnson1987]

The Duggars' idea of a mission trip is telling people that they have 19 kids, and giving out their book to help people, and sweet fellowship. *Barf*

[Fuzzysox]

The Duggars' idea of a mission trip is telling people that they have 19 kids, and giving out their book to help people, and sweet fellowship. *Barf*

You forgot the nail painting!

[Sew Sumi]

Shrader is his own brand of "ugly American missionary." The video in which he actually starts laying on a "native" accent (sorry, I should have clarified that I meant Filipinos in my prior post) was particularly heinous. 

 

The video is on Shrader's YouTube channel. It's the one in which he baptizes his only convert in (at the time) 6 months. That said, from what little I've seen since, he has yet to convert anyone else, and a few churches have pulled their funding. 

 

And yes, my point was that Catholics are the "wrong" sort of Christian. Much like the trips to Central America. I am well aware that Christians live in Catholic countries, just like a few Catholics live in the South. 

[Absolom]

 

I am well aware that Christians live in Catholic countries,

I'm pretty sure that isn't quite what you were trying to say, Catholics being Christians and all.  

[DangerousMinds]

No state religion in our great country, although I don't think the Duggars realize that.

[Betweenyouandme]

I'm pretty sure that isn't quite what you were trying to say, Catholics being Christians and all.

I think it depends on whom you're asking. I've heard very strong opinions in both directions. I mean...I went to a Catholic school for 3 years and was told by my mom that Catholics are Christians but not to take my religion class as true without asking her first about things. My stepdad ranted for the entire 3 years that Catholics aren't Christian. Then, I got married in a Catholic Church to a Catholic, and everyone was suddenly happy.

There are big differences- confessing sins to a priest, purgatory, mortal sins unconfessed sending someone to Hell even if they believe in Jesus, etc.

[GEML]

A lot of Catholics (and other faiths) live in the South! Even when I was growing up, I had friends of multiple faiths, Christian and non-Christian. And with immigration it's even more pronounced now than it was 30 years ago. We live in an increasingly global world, was my point, even in other counties that were once more religiously homogenous.

[Betweenyouandme]

Oh yeah. I grew up in a tiny Southern town, and the only private school within an hour was Catholic. Then, there was one secular private school an hour out. Then two hours away, there was just one Catholic boarding school for high schoolers.

[Absolom]

The idea that Catholics aren't Christians always amuses me.  What do folks who believe that say about the first 1500 years of Christianity when aside from the Copts and a couple others all of Christianity was Catholic or Eastern Orthodox?  Do they try to say that the church wasn't Christian?  

[floridamom]

Absolom: I am with you, I agree. Anyone who doesn't believe that Catholics are Christians, doesn't know their own Christian history. Catholics were and still are the first, original Christians...it was catholics for 1,000 years...then the Great Schism, where the Eastern Orthodox sect "broke away into their own traditions" keeping in line more with their culture...and they still are "catholic". Like the Pope said, these two styles of worship are the "left and right lung" of Christianity and Catholicism..The Protestants came along 500 years later circa 1500AD.

I wonder if the Duggars are aware of this?

dashingbenseewald, I hope you will read this.

[Betweenyouandme]

I think my post is supposed to also go in Religion thread, so I'm moving it there.

Edited March 3, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[maraleia]

As I said in the other thread. We will be deleting any posts that aren't in the proper thread. There is a pinned post with notes from the mods in this forum for a reason.

Also, I'm about to delete the off-topic posts that were made before 6:30pm central today as well. Don't tempt me.

[Sew Sumi]

I'm pretty sure that isn't quite what you were trying to say, Catholics being Christians and all.  

I was referring to "Christians" in the context of what Lawson Bates considers himself vs. the majority of Filipinos he is encountering during his trip. HE sees a difference and doesn't believe that Catholics are true Christians. They don't go to these countries without an underlying agenda, and that agenda is conversion. 

[Absolom]

I thought that's what you meant, but it wasn't clear.  I wonder if this is a follow on to the trip John David also went on when they were supposed to be doing more of a medical mission.

[Sew Sumi]

No problem. My fault for being too vague. :) 

[Sew Sumi]

Gil Bates' School of Grifting (Cliff's Notes version):

 

1. Mooch off church members but call it "love offerings." They did this until money rolled in from the United Bates of America. 

2. Get free stuff to build your addition. On camera, Gil and Jim Bob pretty much bullied a guy at a home depot kind of store to give them a front door for free. He later called it "A gift from God." No, Gil. You talked some guy into giving you an expensive oak door with a pretty window in it. Not cheap.

3. The best one of all: The Bateseseses prayed because their cars were getting old. They made their needs known to people, which really isn't praying, but don't tell Gil that. They got the old Duggar van (Boob certainly wrote it off as a tax deduction...he's crazy like a fox like that). But most stunningly, at an ATI homeschool conference about 4-5 years ago, they were gifted not one, but TWO gently-used SUVs! Per Gil, more "gifts from God." 

 

Right. I think anyone here would be shocked to be gifted any of this stuff, let alone TWO SUVs at the SAME TIME! The Bates blog used to have the pictures, but I think they were lost the first time the server crashed; they lost years worth of old content, but I bet someone else saved it, and it's still on Mr. Google. 

 

I know there's more, but those are the ones that were really publicized. From what I see on the show, Gil hasn't changed much, and is still trying to get shit for free, despite the show probably comping a lot of stuff for them, on top of their paychecks.

[BitterApple]

Don't forget Gil and Kelly using the ER as a doctor's office. IIRC, not all of the kids had health insurance when we were first introduced to the family.

[Sew Sumi]

I knew I'd forget some stuff. Gil was PROUD as he admitted that particular offense. He doesn't give a shit about the taxpayers; after all, what taxes is HE paying with all those deductions still living at home?

 

I *think* they might have received the SUVs on camera. Nightline did that piece of them huddled in a hotel during a tornado warning as they were headed to ATI camp. Erin freaked out. I think it might have been that year. IIRC, this was possibly just before the United Bates of America, but after they'd appeared on the Duggars, maybe 2010-11ish.

[floridamom]

Sew Sumi; thanks for the "Bates update"...he learned from the best, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, I guess.

I also take note of the fact that their admirers are of the opinion that these families are all self sufficient financially, and that WE don't pay for them ie, welfare, etc..I would like to ask a question about that:  Having all those dependents on their tax return would render many deductions, meaning they don't pay their fair share in the end; also from ONE breadwinner paying into the system through payroll, if something happened to that ONE breadwinner, wouldn't Social Security pay numerous, maybe up to 15 benefit checks to those minor kids? Where is that money coming from? US....

[BitterApple]

Floridamom, I've always wondered about that. Take the Queries for example. IIRC, the dad passed away a while ago, so how has Mrs. Query been supporting her kids? Most of these families barely scrape by as it is, so I doubt they're flush with savings and life insurance in the event of an untimely death.

[Darknight]

Gil and Kelly are just as horrible as the Duggars. I still can't believe Gil admitted to using the er as a doctors visit because they're so poor they can't afford insurance. Gil gifting people is disgusting. You're not special Gil. People work hard for their paychecks/business. Get a damn job or pay for your services.

Sew Sumi; thanks for the "Bates update"...he learned from the best, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, I guess.

I also take note of the fact that their admirers are of the opinion that these families are all self sufficient financially, and that WE don't pay for them ie, welfare, etc..I would like to ask a question about that: Having all those dependents on their tax return would render many deductions, meaning they don't pay their fair share in the end; also from ONE breadwinner paying into the system through payroll, if something happened to that ONE breadwinner, wouldn't Social Security pay numerous, maybe up to 15 benefit checks to those minor kids? Where is that money coming from? US....

We do pay for them. These people know how to play the system

[maraleia]

Gil and Kelly are just as horrible as the Duggars. I still can't believe Gil admitted to using the er as a doctors visit because they're so poor they can't afford insurance. Gil gifting people is disgusting. You're not special Gil. People work hard for their paychecks/business. Get a damn job or pay for your services.

We do pay for them. These people know how to play the system

With Obamacare in effect everyone has to have health insurance otherwise they will get fined so if Gothardites like the Duggars, Query's and Bateses don't have insurance then they will owe the government loads of money.

They are such hypocrites.

[bigskygirl]

I bet dollars to donuts they find ways around the fines or find exemptions to get out of paying the fines.

[floridamom]

Bitter Apple, I don't mean to target any other specific individual, as they remain private citizens even if they appear in a cameo on the Duggars' show. I actually was thinking of Mrs. Query, (and I don't wish that woman any ill, not at all), but I wondered about her and those like her...Yes, she is a widow,, but I do wonder how many children she has and how she supports everyone in her home. I'm sure there are many more in her boat. I recently noticed that she is studying to be a midwife (?) or a real assistant, so that will bring in some money for her. Maybe that tells us something...this Gothard system for young women just doesn't work in an imperfect world.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Chad and Erin are having a boy.

[nccueagle84]

Chad and Erin are having a boy.

They're naming him Charles Stephen Paine IV, however they both like the name Carson so that's what they plan to call him even though it has nothing to do with his actual name.

[Quilt Fairy]

I don't understand how going to an ER is considered a cheaper choice than going to a doctor. ER visits are expensive! I know they have to treat you without regard to your ability to pay, but surely they're going to at least bill you after the fact. The few times I've gone to one even with insurance they wanted a credit card up front.

[Sew Sumi]

Cross-posted in the Chad and Erin thread.

 

Erin's full Instagram post:

 

https://instagram.com/p/z3sWrYlUMm/?modal=true

 

Chad's blog:

 

http://chadsperspective.blogspot.com/2015/03/our-little-boy.html

[DangerousMinds]

It would be so much more interesting if one of these couples would wait for the actual birth to find out their child's sex, and then decide on a name, etc. JMO.

[Fuzzysox]

So Chad's dad and grandfather are/were doctors and they didn't push education on Chad? Does anyone else see that as messed up????????????

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

So Chad's dad and grandfather are/were doctors and they didn't push education on Chad? Does anyone else see that as messed up????????????

What kind of "education" does Chad have?