Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[3girlsforus]

That hair video left me speechless. First - how old is that girl??? I would have guessed 14 or 15 but I'm assuming since she's married that isn't the case. She looks like a kid (and that doesn't even comment on the room itself). Second - who spends that kind of time on their hair when not in a beauty pageant? She looked like she was ready for an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras. Is this all about getting Gothard hair????

[Barb23]

Pay the Querys?! Surely you jest! Providing free labor for the Duggars is reward enough!

I wonder if Boob paid for the Query's admission to Silver Dollar City when they went a few years ago? This was the episode where Boob tricked Mandy or the mom to get on a rollercoaster even tho they were scared of them. Of course, Boob thought it was soooo funny & IIRC, he said he didn't realize they were that afraid.

Oh I forgot, TLC probably footed the bill.

[BitterApple]

I wonder if Boob paid for the Query's admission to Silver Dollar City when they went a few years ago? This was the episode where Boob tricked Mandy or the mom to get on a rollercoaster even tho they were scared of them. Of course, Boob thought it was soooo funny & IIRC, he said he didn't realize they were that afraid.

Oh I forgot, TLC probably footed the bill.

 

The Duggars seem to be big on playing cruel "pranks" that they think are hilarious. They scared Amy with the clowns and did the stupid fake baby drop thing with the guy from the camera crew. Let's also not forget trashing cars at weddings. They have absolutely no emotional intelligence or social awareness whatsoever.

[Sew Sumi]

I doubt the Query daughters are paid. They are, after all, SAHDs, so they're doing their work as unmarried women in service of the Lord. Blah, blah, blah...

[floridamom]

I hope this is the right thread for this question.

Isn't Mrs. Query their friend who JB "befriended their daughters" and acts from time to time as a surrogate father? I think she's widowed. If that's so, how in the world does Mrs. Query live financially? She's some sort of doula, isn't she, but I'm certain that's not a money maker for her family. How does their belief system work for a woman who is widowed with xx number of children to feed? Methinks there's a hole in Mr. Gothard's plan.

[PityFree]

There are lots of holes in Mr. Gothard's plan and everyone who follows his advice is a lab rat in his little (failing) experiment. 

[Rhondinella]

Hey, y'all.  I'm going to request a new forum for Bringing Up Bates.  Once it's up, I'll move all the comments about that show there since they really don't belong here. Let's leave this thread for appearances of the Bates family on 19K.

[JessDVD]

Obviously this is total speculation, but here goes anyway, it strikes me that the Bates view all the tenets of Gothardism etc as principles, while the Duggars view them as rules. Leaving one's fertility up to God (which is one of the dumbest phrases ever but anyway) is, perhaps, a good principle, but it's not a good rule, because there are extenuating circumstances. I feel like the Bates get this, that they think courtship and no BC and all that other stuff are good principles to live by, but aren't STUPID and realize that there are times when principles can and should be relaxed. The Duggars seem to forge ahead and insist on living by the tenets as though they were law, with no regard for the consequences.

[Almost 3000]

Thank you Cereality and JessDVD those thoughts make sense!

[Rhondinella]

Just a head up, guys:  I've requested a Bringing Up Bates forum, but the mod who creates the new forums is on break until Wednesday.   So don't expect it before then.  In the meantime I think it's ok to go ahead and talk about the first episode here.  Then when the new forum is created we'll just move all of it there.  Thanks.

[Barb23]

I remember the episode where the girls went camping when they visited the Bates. While the girls were swimming, Kelly & MEchelle were talking about how their lives were changing, kids preparing for courtship, weddings & grandchildren. It seemed like MEchelle was totally zoned out & didn't contribute much to the conversation. Kelly even said at the beginning that her & MEchelle hadn't talked for a while cuz of their busy lives but it seemed like MEchelle didn't want to reconnect or even be there.

[RedheadZombie]

This seems the appropriate thread to compare/contrast the Duggar and Bates families.  I only know the Bates family from the Duggars show and the Dateline(?) special, in which they responded to a tornado by gathering around and singing religious songs.

 

Besides the obvious similarities, the families seem so different to me.  Since the religion is the same, I can only blame the parents.  Both families suffered through poverty for a while, but I think the Bates managed not to show it (other than the rumored neglected horses).  I think the Duggars, despite their new wealth, have clung to the dirty bare feet on the counter, and other behaviors that might cause some (not me) to label them white trash.

 

The Bates girls seem to follow the 1950s "good girl" or "lady" image.  They remind me of Jacqueline Kennedy when she was still a Bouvier.  I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they had some sort of coming out, and wore white ball gowns with white gloves and pearls.  They're frozen in time, but unlike the Duggars, seem to have some polish.  They seem to dress up everyday with knee length skirts and pumps.  They also remind me a lot of women who grow up in the pageant world.  I bet they're champion baton twirlers.

 

Neither is better than the other, but I personally feel the Bates are very try-hard.

[Rhondinella]

Good news!  The Bringing Up Bates forum is now online, ahead of schedule!  Huzzah!  I'm going to move all comments pertaining to and deriving from their new show to that forum.  Please go there from now on to discuss Bringing Up Bates.  Leave this thread ONLY for the interactions between the Bates and Duggars, please.  Thanks.

[Ilovemylabs]

Erin Bates Paine Hair tutorial in two parts. I have the sudden urge to go sing 'Stand by Your Man' or  anything else Tammy Wynette. You're welcome. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH3N7Nm_-CE

 

Oh and BTW - my grandmother LOVED for us to wear our hair exactly like that to church on Sundays- in the 80s - when most of her granddaughters were under 12. We all have very thick, wavy hair and I don't remember anyone putting all that goop on it. We just rolled it damp at night and slept on those rollers. 

 

Erin's hair looks thick but fine, dry and straight in texture, if that makes sense. Like she probably has a lot of individual strands, but the individual strands are really fine. So I guess that's why she needs all the product to curl? For that style, her hair does look good.

I watched part of this.  Why would anyone post a video of doing her hair in curls?  Is there some fan base that is asking for this?

[BitterApple]

I watched part of this.  Why would anyone post a video of doing her hair in curls?  Is there some fan base that is asking for this?

YouTube has about a billion hair and makeup tutorials, so it's not out of the ordinary. I wouldn't be surprised if Erin did receive requests from girls wanting to know how she does her hair.

[Absolom]

Erin said she had gotten questions on how she did her hair and got the curls to stay.

[Lillybee]

I don't believe that we have discussed this fundie family. They attended Jill's wedding and love  the Pearls.

 

http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24543&sid=c209453dc15690a640a93dc99b193c5b

 

This is a family with 11 kids who are living in a RV without enough beds for their blessings.  BTW the kids look starved.

Edited January 2, 2015 by Lillybee

[Darknight]

I don't believe that we have discussed this fundie family. They attended Jill's wedding and love the Pearls.

http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24543&sid=c209453dc15690a640a93dc99b193c5b

This is a family with 11 kids who are living in a RV without enough beds for their blessings. BTW the kids look starved.

Lawd there are families worser than the Duggars and Bates

[BitterApple]

Wow, those kids are emaciated. They look like refugees from a concentration camp. That is just awful.

 

Someone on the FJ site made the astute comment that as long as the family is moving around in an RV, they can stay a step ahead of child welfare.

Edited January 2, 2015 by BitterApple

[3girlsforus]

That family is just all kinds of yikes. What exactly is a 'printing ministry'?

[Lillybee]

That family is just all kinds of yikes. What exactly is a 'printing ministry'?

 

 

They print tracks to pass out to strangers.

[3girlsforus]

How exactly do you support a family printing tracks? 

[NausetGirl]

How exactly do you support a family printing tracks? 

 

I'm guessing that "love offerings" are involved in exchange for the tracts. But who knows?

[Lillybee]

How exactly do you support a family printing tracks? 

 

 

That's the problem, I don't think that they are supporting all those children. I think they live on love offerings and what they can get from the churches that they stop at.

[3girlsforus]

I am not opposed to missionary work but having 12 kids and wandering from church to church with your hand out to support them is panhandling. 

Edited January 2, 2015 by 3girlsforus

[GEML]

Unfortunately, Brian is correct. As awful as Gothard can be and the Duggard lifestyle is, there are much worse ones. Andrea Yates and her husband were following a man who told them to live just like this family before the birth of her fourth child, which led to her first bout of post-partum psychosis, and then they settled down to have a fifth which led to the tragedy. I don't know who this family follows, but it's almost certainly someone. Few American families suddenly set out to do this on their own, and they almost certainly are getting their theology from the tracks from somewhere. Most cult leaders prefer to stay in one place and let their members come to them (bringing their money with them.). Only followers go out and beg.

[Almost 3000]

Unfortunately, Brian is correct. As awful as Gothard can be and the Duggard lifestyle is, there are much worse ones. Andrea Yates and her husband were following a man who told them to live just like this family before the birth of her fourth child, which led to her first bout of post-partum psychosis, and then they settled down to have a fifth which led to the tragedy. I don't know who this family follows, but it's almost certainly someone. Few Anerican families suddenly set out to do this on their own, and they almost certainly are getting their theology from the tracks from somewhere. Most cult leaders prefer to stay in one place and let their members come to them (bringing their money with them.). Only followers go out and beg.

Jill, the mom idolizes Michelle Duggar and I'm pretty sure she wants to be another TV star but with a singing family. So I'm pretty sure they follow Gothard and they've posted about visiting the Pearls authors of "To Train Up a Child" infamy. It makes those thin, spiritless pictures of the kids seem sinister.

[3girlsforus]

I saw a commercial on TLC (of course) about some family with a bunch of kids living in an RV and wandering around preaching. Is this the same family?

[Almost 3000]

No, that's a different family that seems to actually make it work as odd as it may seem. At least their kids look to be fed and educated. Jill may have gotten her singing traveling RV idea from knowing or hearing about them.

eta: I've been following this family for a couple of years and Jill seems to be driving the bus, so to speak. She really wants fame or at least a minor crown in fundy royalty.

Edited January 2, 2015 by Almost 3000

[riverblue22]

If all these families sing and train their children to play the violin, well, that's just not so special anymore.  And that Rodriguez family sounds pretty bad musically.  It seems a lot of these fundie families just leech off each other with the need for love offerings.  All of their limited resources remain within the cult.  And I can see why they turned to living in an RV.  Any Gothard family needs an RV so they can attend the cult conferences and meetings.  And keeping up a home and an RV could just be too expensive for most, so the home goes and they end up in the RV.  What a nightmare of a life for these poor children!

[Almost 3000]

If all these families sing and train their children to play the violin, well, that's just not so special anymore.  And that Rodriguez family sounds pretty bad musically.  It seems a lot of these fundie families just leech off each other with the need for love offerings.  All of their limited resources remain within the cult.  And I can see why they turned to living in an RV.  Any Gothard family needs an RV so they can attend the cult conferences and meetings.  And keeping up a home and an RV could just be too expensive for most, so the home goes and they end up in the RV.  What a nightmare of a life for these poor children!

Before they moved to Africa on a mission Anna Duggar's sister was living with multiple kids in a RV so that's probably a sad reality.

[NausetGirl]

Before they moved to Africa on a mission Anna Duggar's sister was living with multiple kids in a RV so that's probably a sad reality.

 

No wonder Mr Keller was so bowled over when he first saw Anna's new house in DC!  When I saw this, I kept wondering - why is he so impressed?  It's a nice average house but nothing wildly-special. Well apparently, in their world, a nice average house seems like Buckingham Palace to them.

Edited January 2, 2015 by NausetGirl

[Almost 3000]

The far end of the wacked out leader/follower spectrum is David Koresh and from way back is the Rev Jim Jones.

I've always thought Gothard's business plan was along the lines of Scientology. He sells a dream of a prefect life for families who follow his seminars, teaching materials, retreats, etc and the strict rules the membership follows keeps them close even though most don't live near to one of his centers.

[cereality]

No wonder Mr Keller was so bowled over when he first saw Anna's new house in DC!  When I saw this, I kept wondering - why is he so impressed?  It's a nice average house but nothing wildly-special. Well apparently, in their world, a nice average house seems like Buckingham Palace to them.

Well I think the Kellers themselves either live in trailers or a pre-fab home; only reason I remember this is they definitely have a trailer or two parked on their property and Josh said something about staying there early on in the relationship. I imagine that with that type of set up, he was super excited to see a daughter who has a 3 story home, multiple bathrooms, a real master bedroom etc. He probably does feel like "wow -- one of MY kids has this much" and probably things Josh is like Bill Gates for being able to provide those things for his daughter.

[LazyToaster]

I wonder if this RV family (or others like it) ever run into intelligent and concerned Pastors or other church leaders that try to tell them "son, this isn't right".

My family was involved in a conservative church back in the 80's and I completely forgot this until now, but there was a family that showed up that was similar to this. They had 4 or 5 kids, were living in an RV and fancied themselves some kind of ministry. Most of us just thought they were nuts. They did manage to leach off the church for quite awhile. Parked their RV in a nearby trailer park and used the facilities at the church for showers etc. and wormed their way into whatever they could. Oh Lord, wonder what ever happened to them.

[Fuzzysox]

I don't believe that we have discussed this fundie family. They attended Jill's wedding and love  the Pearls.

 

http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24543&sid=c209453dc15690a640a93dc99b193c5b

 

This is a family with 11 kids who are living in a RV without enough beds for their blessings.  BTW the kids look starved.

I read about them on FJ. The mom is a hairdresser and the dad is a wannabe "minister." People have talked in length how the children look unfeed. How sad that the parents think this is ok!?!?!?! I do remember someone posting a picture of them eating at a all you can eat place but realistically how many times a week can they afford that if they have no jobs?

 

And they did make it to Jill's wedding. I remember seeing pictures of the mom (sheesh what the heck is her name?) gushing over the whole affair.

[GEML]

Interestingly, what Gothard sells first and foremost are children who will never rebel. Think about that for a moment. Not even God promised that.

[Barb23]

I don't believe that we have discussed this fundie family. They attended Jill's wedding and love  the Pearls.

 

http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24543&sid=c209453dc15690a640a93dc99b193c5b

 

This is a family with 11 kids who are living in a RV without enough beds for their blessings.  BTW the kids look starved.

I'm sure the "love offering" from Jill's wedding was loading their pockets with all the reception treats. I wonder if Boob let them hook up their RV at the compound.

[Fuzzysox]

I read some more on FJ. I shouldn't have because now I have to worry about those kids. Jill, the mom, is pregnant with her 12th child. Heaven help them as they went from having a real house to a traveling in a tin can as their new home. SMH this is not acceptable.

[Lillybee]

I hate the forced smiles that the children are always wearing. It is like they be get a beating if they do not look happy.

 

I also can't imagine how someone, probably not mama, Jill, can cook for 13 in a tiny RV kitchen. Do they even have room for 13 plates, bowls and silver? I think that they may be living on a diet of instant oatmeal and ramen.

[3girlsforus]

Interestingly, what Gothard sells first and foremost are children who will never rebel. Think about that for a moment. Not even God promised that.

 

Not only does He not promise that, but He set up the human race to allow rebellion. He created Man with free will. He wants people to choose to follow Him. 

[DangerousMinds]

Like gypsies. Without thr security and support of many others in the same near vicinity.

[3girlsforus]

I wonder if this RV family (or others like it) ever run into intelligent and concerned Pastors or other church leaders that try to tell them "son, this isn't right".

 

 

I wonder that too - I know if they showed up at my church I would hope there would be concern. If not, I'd have to consider looking for another church.

[Darknight]

How can these people have sex in a tiny ass rv??

[NausetGirl]

How can these people have sex in a tiny ass rv??

 

From what I've read, people in concentration camps - astonishingly - sometimes managed this. Knowing this, I'm guessing a teeny RV would not pose that much of a problem. Where there's a will...

Edited January 3, 2015 by NausetGirl

[JessDVD]

"Kids, go take a walk for the next 30 minutes or so"

[Joe Jitsu913]

I wonder if the Duggars and the Bates swing?

Pass the brain bleach.

[BitterApple]

I wonder if the Duggars and the Bates swing?

I'm going to go throw up now....

[3girlsforus]

I wonder if the Duggars and the Bates swing?

 

Now I'm going to have nightmares....

[Barb23]

How can these people have sex in a tiny ass rv??

 

My husband asked the same question about the show where people live in the little houses where it's one big room with a tiny loft.

 

I wonder if the Duggars and the Bates swing?

I hope you mean swingin' on their outside swings.